On one completely ordinary morning, Dash finds a human baby in the woods. What follows is a story about losing something which you never had in the first place.
Entry to The Most Dangerous Game 2.
The original story: My Little Dashie
Chapters (1)
stanku
Joined 6th Feb, 2013 ·
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That last bit with the tree carving.. Right in the feels, man.. Right in the feels. Nice work turning a classic around and making it different but still the same. You've earned a favorite.
5515214 Thanks, man!
This is a brilliant reversal of a classic fanfic.
Couple of minor spelling errors but other than that, tis ratha good sah.
5516049 Thanks! Coud you maybe point out those mistakes? It'd help me a lot.
Well done
I half-expected for human dimension-travelers to come and pick him up when Brian was older, but your way was just as good and a whole lot more believable
/)
5516055 the most blaring is in reference to the genders of the characters. He gets switched to she several times, especially toward the end where Dash is showing her son/daughter where she found Brian. There are enough oopses that I can't tell if it's a filly or colt and the name is gender neutral.
5516095 Thanks!.
5516188 Yeah, those are my plague. Thanks for mentioning it -- I'll have to give this another read in the future.
Looks good, I'll try it then probably try to give some friendly pointers.
I am surprised that Pinkie was not involved in the later part of the story. Considering how much she was with Brian and how much she helped I am surprised that she is not more involved and not more upset.
5518199 You're right, and frankly there were a bunch of stuff I could've included. The thing was, I wanted to keep the story as tight as possible, between Dash and Brian mostly.
Is there any possibility of a sequel? Because I need closure!
5522074 Dunno about that. Propably not. It goes with the spirit of the original story to leave stuff open, I think
More importantly, I got four other fics waiting to be finished.
Make a sequel (maybe with multiple chapters) where Rainbow goes on a quest to find Brian!
Pweeeeeeeaasssee? 
5612516 Noooouuu, not the applebloom begging face!
Jeez, well, I can't promise you anything. HiE fics are really not my forte - this one was an exception for the contest.
Thanks for asking anyway!
Very well done. And very depressing.
5668487 Thanks!
Dang. Not sure what else you could have done with this, but it came out pretty good.
5722393 Not good enough as it turned out. Thanks anyway!
I must say this is a interesting spin to a classic tale, however the way Rainbow Dash is portrayed in the story makes her seem rather heartless. It is very evident that Brian saw Rainbow Dash as his mother, and left not because it was his time but because he felt she did not want him nor ever loved him. She refused to let him call her mother and then not once did she treat him like he was her son. And the fact that she just forgets about him so easily after he leaves is unsettling especially now that she has a foal of her own, the connections should have been more obvious and guilt should have been more present. I just feel that the story doesn't give off the same emotions as the original did and that's many because there is no sense of loss, the dad in the original story showed that he loved Rainbow Dash, so when the time came to say goodbye, it became painful and emotional, but in this story Brain is pushed away as if he was never wanted and Rainbow Dash reflects this by the way she acts, there was no sense of loss to her only to Brian who also never shown loss other than very subtle hints.
6414841 'Tis a correct reading in many ways. My intention with the reversal was not simply to switch the positions of the two characters and to leave the basic structure untouched. It was this very "structure" that I wished to invert. While "My Little Dashie" is a story about the sadness of losing something dear, it is also, on my account, a story that teaches how, sometimes, it is better to have lost something than not having anything to lose in the first place. In the end of the fic, "dad'" feels he actually has gained something by losing Dash, at least in comparison to his condition prior to knowing her. Back then, he had nothing, no reason to live really -- now he has the memories.
In my story, this tale is turned inside out. Rainbow Dash comes across Brian right on the moment she is not at loss of anything, when her life is just as she wants it to be. The rare moments of boredom do not stand for any lack as such, but rather for the fact that she lacks a lack, i.e. something to really desire in her life. This changes with Brian's entry into the picture: suddenly this huge responsibility is shoved right into her lap. Thorough the story we witness Dash's attempts, not so much to cope with this, but to ignore it, to carry on her life as if nothing had happened. Brian the child does not represent an object of her desire, but to the contrary, a disruption of that desire.
Now, to understand my story one needs to notice that at the of the fic end, Dash sounds kind of more bitter than dad did in the original. How could this be if the whole point was that he was the only one who lost something, while Dash ended up with everything she wanted, despite Brian's intervenience? This is the central question, one to which I have no definite answer. One way to read it is to note that Dash lives a fantasy life, a life devoid of any lack, and the mystical intrusion of Brian into that world means the breach of a fundamentally utopistic fantasy by "reality". I don't favour this reading for its innate simplicity (juxtaposing "fantasy" with "reality"). Another interpretation might say that Dash remains bitter, not because she feels she failed with Brian, but because she feels it was not her place to either fail or succeed with him -- and his very existence puts that stance to question at every moment.
The third route of explanation, one I favour perhaps the most, is simply the lesson of the original story, to which I arrived from the other end. Any true satisfaction and peace with oneself one can achieve is not by getting everything one wants, not even the thing one wants the most, but by knowing one had lost it. And that there was not a thing they could've done otherwise. Dad can feel content despite his loss exactly because he knows it was his loss, that it meant something for him specifically, and his acceptance of the loss grows stronger, not because he freely chose it, but because he knew he had no choice over it. Dash in this fic is "the failed" dad: she has no loss to feel content about, no void which she could feel was fundamentally hers. To the contrary, she is stuck with presence she keeps on ignoring and pushing away. Yet despite her best attempts, rumours seep into her ears every few months, rumours she can't help hearing. The presence is there somewhere; it's an excess she can't feel is her own but which still keeps appearing in her vision, in her mind. She is at loss precisely because she hasn't known loss, but remains afraid of it. In a sense, then, Dash here is more bothered by a loss than dad is in the original because she refuses to face its possibility -- and thus ends up afraid of presence instead.
6416404 So in a since Rainbow is in denial, because she is afraid of facing the possibility of loss. That makes a bit more sense however it doesn't really excuse Dash either, if she was at a point in her life where she felt comfortable and did not wish to deal with the stress, then the child should have been handed off to someone willing to raise it. I just felt that by Rainbow Dash trying to ignore the problem, it made her seem unreasonably naive and (unintentionally) coldhearted, and actually felt out-of-character for her. We have seen numerous times in the show that Rainbow Dash can have a motherly side to her when no one is around. I just find it hard to believe Rainbow Dash could have raised Brian all those years and not gained some form of attachment to him or at the very least express guilt for not being able to give him what he had wanted. Don't get me wrong, I'm not wanting a carbon-copy of "My Little Dashe" nor was I expecting one, however I had atleast hope the story was going to show a bond grow over time and Rainbow Dash would become more welcoming of the idea to raise him.
6416404 6416462
)
With Rainbow being the 'failed Dad' and hearing about Brian, it kind of reminds me of the intellectual discussion of 'horror', in that the character (and by extension the audience(player/reader/viewer)) are forced to confront their darker and primal selves.
Here, Rainbow gets haunted by her previous failure as an adoptive parent, as she must now be a parent to her own flesh and blood. As she raises her own offspring, the child will hear over its life rumors and stories of its (quasi-)brother born roughly 16 years before it.
Rainbow will never be allowed to forget.
Her child may even try to track down Brian to meet him.
Rainbow may even descend into depression or madness if the rumors suddenly stop or she hears that Brian died violently, and her failings as a parent are thrusted in her face.
(Those last two sentences would be interesting sequel material
I liked how you showed the passage of time with the progression of Rainbow's career and romantic life rather than just Brian's aging.
6798472 Sounds like a sequel indeed!
6798506
)*
Is that a sequel beginning to churn in your head I see?
Which idea appeals to you more?
Dash's kid tracking down Brian, or Dash breaking down because of Brian's death?
*looks at your story list(
You're going to go with Brian dying and Dash going nuts aren't you?
You seem to already be very acutely aware of and familiar with the brand of horror that involves the audience facing their darker nature and failures.
6416404 6416462
To build on my previous reply.
As I later reflected on the story, I also began to think of Dash as especially cold towards the end since she starts on making her own family with no regard to Brian. I'm not saying that she shouldn't at all, but involve him in the plans beyond space in her house. Heck, she wanted him out pretty much just to turn Brian's bedroom to a nursery!
When, Brian disappeared and the note was found, Soarin was more concerned about Brian than Dash was, despite Soarin being part of Brian's life for a shorter period of time (some what similar to Rarity towards Spike in 'Over a barrel', but Twilight actually cares about Spike's physical, mental, and emotional well-being before and after that event, and well into the future from what she told Spike after he opened Sombra's scary/fear door (if you pay attention to Rarity and Twilight talking to Braeburn for the first time, it's Rarity that brings up Spike getting kidnapped))
6801921 I'm not making any promises, but yeah, Dash going nuts has its appeal. Haven't written a psychological horror fic like that for a while.
Your analysis about Soarin especially strikes the chord on my ears: Hadn't even thought about it that way honestly.
Thanks for the ideas!
6801975
No problem!
Glad that I could help someone in the creative process and contribute some original analysis!
Though admittedly, I have brought up that same scene using different lights before in different comment sections on this site.
The scene just sticks out to me due to its implications of Rarity's feelings regarding Spike.
6802014 Maybe you should write something about it?
6803347
Beyond analysis of that scene, I haven't really thought of a proper follow up series of consequences with Twilight semi-forgetting about Spike's apparent kid napping.
Spike was cool with what happened and got all of precious minerals that he could shove down his face.
I don't know if I should go with "Spike feels betrayed and leaves Twilight (sad)", or "Spike pursues Rarity feeling some encouragement by the news(romance)(perhaps also 'sad' depending on the direction of the story)".
Wow rainbow showed more care to a hibernating turtle in canon than she does the child she raised here. Pinkie should have kept him.