The Killing of the Brain Cells
Hello, I’m Mary Sue. I have a brother named Gary Stu. We love My Little Pony Friendship is Magic. It is our most favorite show of all time! My favorite character is Pinkie Pie while my brother has a crush on Rainbow Dash. I can’t tell anyone, though, because I was sworn to secrecy. So don’t tell anyone that I accidentally told you.
“Mary! Gary! Are you doing your homework?” Our mom asks us. She is a total bitch.
“No. My Little Pony is on right now!” I call back. Oh, did I forget to mention that my brother is sitting next to me?
“You’re watching it on the internet! You can pause it to do your Algebra!” she yells at us like the evil woman she is. Oh, and she walks into our room without knocking first! Can you believe her?
“Rachel, please. You honestly think that homework is more important than cartoon ponies.” My brother adds helpfully.
“You need to make good grades to get into a good college in the future. And you better call me Mom!” she says with narrowing eyes. Oh, great! Here we go!
“Who needs college? Ponies are our lives now, and if you can’t accept that, then you truly don’t love us!” I say stomping my foot.
She just stares at us with her twitching eye before closing our laptop and taking it.
“What do you think you’re doing?!” My brother and I both demand.
“No more ponies for a week because of that little remark. Now, get to your homework!” She says before slamming our door.
“I HATE YOU! I WISH WE WERE DEAD!” I yell as I push all of my books from my desk.
How dare she even do that to us! Who does she think she is? What right does she have to do that to us! She is such an evil tyrant and we have had enough of this!
“We need to flee this life of oppression!” my brother says poetically.
“We need to lead a new life in Equestria!” I said.
Just as I say that, our TV turns on and shows The Everfree Forest. It sucks us in and we fall for what seems like forever. I feel this weird transformation and I turn to look at my brother. He is changing into a pony, but not just any pony. He’s turning into a black alicorn with a red mane and tail. He also has a skull for a cutie mark. I can’t believe my eyes. We land in the middle of the forest, and we aren’t hurt at all.
“Gary, you’re an alicorn!” I point out.
“So are you!” he said back.
I look in a nearby lake and I am indeed an alicorn with a red coat and a black mane and tail. I have the same cutie mark as my brother, and I now have one blue eye and one green eye for no reason other than I’m a special little flower.
“We’re alicorns in Equestria! We can lead a better life now!” I say.
Just then an ursa major shows up out of nowhere. My brother and I use our new magic powers and defeat him easily. And, no, we don’t need any lessons on magic because we are totally awesome and alicorns. Anyone who says otherwise are assholes who don’t have a life.
“We should fly over to Ponyville and meet our favorite characters.” My brother says.
We fly over to Ponyville. We also don’t need flying lessons because we’re better than everypony else. We’re faster than Rainbow Dash and better at magic than Twilight. We arrive and immediately run into Pinkie Pie.
“Hi! I’m Pinkie Pie, but you know me because you came from the human world where our lives are nothing but a popular TV show. You arrived here after a freak portal accident and turned into red and black alicorns with matching cutie marks. You defeated an ursa major, and are now here to meet everypony.” She says, no doubt using her Pinkie sense.
“How did you do that?” Gary asks.
“Pinkie sense.” She replies.
“I knew it. So can we meet the rest of the mane six?” I ask.
“We’re here!” Twilight Sparkle says as she and the rest of them approach us.
“I’m in love with you suddenly!” Rainbow Dash says as she flies up to my brother and kisses him.
“I love you too!” He replies and kisses back. They are now coltfriend and marefriend and are now talking about marriage and kids.
Pinkie and I become best friends and the rest of the mane six are just there because I say so and I’m the author. I let the story write the characters and tell, not show. I mean, I am an all-powerful alicorn with an equally powerful brother. If you hate me then I will delete your comments and be butthurt about it. I mean, I’ll strike you down with lightning.
Celestia and Luna arrive for us on chariots, even though we were only there for a few minutes and no one even wrote them a letter.
“I heard that two new alicorns just arrived, and are very powerful. Luna and I decided to retire and make them the new rulers of Equestria. They have the ability to raise and lower the moon even though I’ve never seen them use magic and have no way of knowing.” Celestia said and everypony cheered because everypony loves us.
True, we have no political background at all, but we’ll be totally awesome at it because potatoes.
“You used to be humans, right? What was it like to have hands?” Lyra Heartstrings says.
My brother and I laugh as we tell our tragic story of living with cruel parents that made us do homework and eat vegetables. Everyone gasps in horror, even though the entire population eats veggies for the majority of their diets. Broccoli is scary after all. Everypony feels sorry for us and we become even more popular, and the only mailpony in all of Equestria, Derpy, delivers all of our fan mail from the ends of the country. Yes, we get fan mail because we’re so popular.
The End.
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- NotABronyWriter · 1.1k words · 33 3 · 1k views
- All of the Above · 1k words · 133 17 · 2.1k views
- hahatimeforponies · 1.1k words · 49 6 · 1.6k views
- Super Trampoline · 5.6k words · 129 11 · 1.7k views
- Corah Il Cappo · 1000 words · 63 2 · 1.2k views
- Glimglam · 3.7k words · 108 4 · 1.8k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.111 seconds
Total duration
764 users online
639,450 hits today, 2,167,270 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
This sounds suspiciously like my life. Have you been watching me?
5250032 He has. I watched him watching you.
5250048 Impossible! You were watching me watch you watch The Watcher watching Watch Dogs wearing a watch!
5250088 Cameras pointing at cameras inside the Large Hadron Collider.
... I really don't know what to say... Many feels go about... And I'm glad that all of that was intentional...
I vote that we change because potatoes to because bananas, since for some reason, everyone at my school thinks banana is the most random thing. So every random thing is the same. The exact. Same. Thing.
5250099 And the large Hadron Collider is full of the weird mirrors that make everything look like there is 20 of them.
And this is all being shown on TV. Sadly, its Fox News, so nobody sees it.
For whatever reason, I found this hilarious.
Eh. I've read better [worse?].
I have now read your stories, you are now my favorite comedy author, and 2nd fav crossover author, and you get a follow
Same could probably be said about most politicians.
I enjoyed the story! Though, some part of me wished it was a serious story, that way it'd be even more hilarious!
Anyways...LUNA SOON YAY!
I loved it!
It could have only been worse (better?) by giving them bat wings.
The worst part is there are actually serious stories about this kind of thing.
But this one was pretty funny.
This is so bad that it is good again. Somehow.
fc09.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2012/085/4/2/60_9_derp_power_by_karzahnii-d4u060r.png
Now this! This is a Red/black OC story I'll read!
Well done, good Lad, have my favorite Emoticon:
ALL OF YOU... YOU NEED TO WATCH THIS. THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE STORY, AND I'M VERY SORRY. (great story btw)
Okay you know what, sorry I had to use caps like that. Just watch this. Even if you're not a Harry Potter fan, which im not, these videos made me laugh until my i almost pissed my pants. For real. Make sure to watch both.
Enjoy! Awesome story, once again!
5250832 headcanon accented
5251052
The uncensored videos off of Oney's Video Hole are even funnier.
derpicdn.net/img/view/2014/5/2/615241__safe_solo_pinkie+pie_meme_image+macro_pinkie+pride_spoiler-colon-s04e12_quote_rage_shakespeare.png
OK, OK... my favorite perspective and the slander of the same aside, I will admit it is one of the harder ones to write in, and to actually have it be interesting, you have to keep that one character ignorant of stuff, something that can be hard to do at the best of times.
You get to live. Just this once.
Now onward to the train-wreck proper.
5251921
On finishing...
Eh.
I'm not going to pretend I'm a great satirist, but there's a difference between making fun of cliches, and just following a check-list while winking at the audience.
A cute try, but it just didn't do much for me.
This line made me LOL.
And this line earned all of my yes. Yes! YESS! YES, VALIDATION! Oh God in Heaven, that feels better than sex!
It's like mind cancer! It's hurting my ideas!
To me, this fic was a lot funnier before they went to Equestria. I liked the ridiculous dialogue between them and their mother. The dialogue with the Mane Six was just a cliche checklist, but the dialogue with the motther was actually pretty funny.
5251918 Agreed
5252928
Where's the score?
5252665 It's like the Ralf Wiggum of real life... Look away for two seconds catch it eating glue and crayons!
Holy mother of god, that was indeed a masterpiece. Instant fav and like, and i give you a Headcrab cuz i like the Half-Life series.
33.media.tumblr.com/0c6ed3037becba9bbdcbd61ad90f997a/tumblr_mib0iuDaK51qcb7k0o1_500.gif
5252974
What score? My /2563 score?
5253706
Yeah, that one!
5253713
I usually only do that for my "Judging Fics by Their Covers", and sometimes for fics I really like. I don't do it all the time.
But to make you happy:
Overall: 1986/2563
5252982 It just that bad.
This story is just, crazy go nuts. I have so many favorite lines in this story. And the story was the best shite ive ever read. Good job
5253722
So, you're recommending this?
5253927
It's satire poking fun at badfics...
And I think the score I gave it is like... a B- ? Not really must-read, but probably worth your time.
5253997
Perhaps I shall read it, then.
AND NOW1!!1!! 4 TEH THRILLING SEA-QUILL!
RAIT 5 STARS OR I WILL HUNT U DOWN 6EVER!
5252665 Yet at the same time it's so smooth you can't take it!
Brain cells. Dead.
5255844 Said every author of bad fanfiction ever.
Hang on, first person narration is bad? Says who? Nearly all of the best stories on this site are first-person. If you wanted to make this story ickier, you'd have used second person.
Let's just say that using is instead of are in the description is also intentional... Is it?
Also, I think the bad writing fits it. It's like a 8 year old daydreamed about this happening in the middle of maths class (hence the homework).
Wow. Just... wow. I loved the whole Lyra and Derpy thing at the end, the way they had more page time than AJ, Rarity and Fluttershy. Perfect, in a non-perfect way.
Instant watch, was so bad that it rocked
And the Rainbow Dash and brother kissing thing. Oh my god. Amazing.
Scratch that.
This is pure genius.
I try to stop reading... but I just couldn't stop , it was hilarious
Oh god, it's like a train wreck. I shouldn't look, I don't want to look, and yet here I sit, staring in sheer goggle eyed horror.
Didn't get far into the first 4 paragraphs without gagging
and then I decided to go further. OMG I CANT READ THIS IT IS SO DUMB ALL YOU HAD TO DO TO WRITE A BRAIN KILLING FANFIC WAS GONTO RIGHT THERE OMG OMG OMG
“I’m in love with you suddenly!” Rainbow Dash says as she flies up to my brother and kisses him.
WHY THE HECK DID I READ ON
Yeah, I should probably stop spamming
For the worst MLP fanfic ever, you have a pretty good rating haha.