• Published 7th Nov 2014
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The Legend of the Gift Horses - LiterarySerenity



How the saying "Don't look a gift horse in the mouth" came to be.

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The Legend of the Gift Horses

Long before the gentle reign of our beloved princesses, there existed to the far west a vast desert wherein resided elemental beings. They were mighty spirits, said to have arisen from wandering spells or enchantments that had gotten away from careless sorcerers and gained self-awareness over time.

Like ponies, the elementals came in various shapes and sizes—and they possessed an even wider array of talents. One pony-sized entity might have possessed the power to create grand thunderstorms, while another horse-sized spirit could have produced only a mild drizzle with her magic. All could soar through the skies without Pegasus wings and perform sorceries without Unicorn horns. Their bodies were translucent yet foggy as stained glass, shifting between numerous bright colors and hues.

It would be folly to deny the beauty they held.

But Praise Celestia that the elementals were a rare breed, for harmony was unknown to them. Most had never felt joyful or grieved as ponies do, and each one thought only of herself. Whenever two of the more powerful members of this race crossed paths, the fight to follow could last for days on end. The battles only ended if either side got blown far enough away by a forceful attack or blinded by sandstorms. For they had terrible attention spans and tended to lose interest easily.

Then came a day when the elementals discovered the ponies who had built villages on the desert fringes. The ponies in these communities, who to the proud spirits appeared weak and pathetic, struggled to survive among the sandy dunes. With this said, they might have simply stampeded over the homes and inhabitants like they did to almost everything else in their paths.

Yet something caused them to pause for a change and observe the ponies instead.

And in truth, what captivated the spirits so much was the fact that despite the daily trials they faced, the ponies prospered. Laughter from fillies and foals rang throughout the streets, and the residents would come together to dance, sing, and make merry (things foreign to the wild elementals). In addition, an energy they had never experienced before radiated from the ponies.

It was a magical power the elementals thought only sorcerers like the fabled Starswirl the Bearded might possess, or perhaps other mighty spirits in distant lands.

So over the coming weeks, the elementals watched the ponies from a distance in growing curiosity—with many drawing close as they dared. In this way, they began to learn patience. For the first time ever the spirits would discuss the strange inhabitants amid their own kind—even if violence still ensued after most conversations. More and more of their energies revolved around the ponies, and trying to figure out how to “light up from the inside with power,” as they phrased it.

They even began to mimic some of the ponies’ habits, including the assumption of names like Granite Firestorm, and Green Dwarf. Taking food from the ponies’ larders, they would share tension-filled meals around large fires at certain points during the day and night. The food could not nourish them, but they grew used to the taste and gatherings to continue speaking on their observations, frustrations, and bewilderments.

As a result, a herd of sorts formed. However, it was an uneasy one. A fine distinction emerged within the elementals. Some of the spirits came to delight in the ponies’ example and even became grateful for the newfound bonds they had formed among others of their race—especially those who had arisen from less aggressive spells. But a majority of the elementals grew steadily impatient to learn the secret to the ponies’ power, and restless to return to their usual fierce ways. Only the possible promise of growing stronger kept them from lashing out.

One elemental who grew to care for the ponies went by the name of Wish. She was a small and lavender spirit who had often avoided the confrontations carried on by the others due to her size and power level. Likewise, the more masterful entities would often ignore her as having little importance since she did not have the same prowess they did. She was too easy to defeat. Apparently, her spell of origin had been a wish of some sort (hence her name), and that hadn’t endowed her with much in the way of arcane magic. Even among the lower-ranked elementals, Wish had always been an outsider, until the herd emerged.

Yet somehow, Wish’s limited talents had served to make her more thoughtful and observant. She was wont to venture around the villages—keeping to the shadows, watching the ponies, and learning how they went about their everyday lives. Each time she did, Wish discovered more things that fascinated her.

And on one fateful evening, while around the communal blaze, Wish made a declaration that would change the elementals forever:

“Sisters, listen to me. I believe I now understand what makes these ponies the way they are!”

All the elementals—even the ones who made it a point to ignore her—gave Wish their immediate attention.

“Has anyone noticed the marks all the ponies wear on their flanks? Hear me now when I say they are not decorations as many of us supposed, but magical insignias they call ‘Cutie Marks’.”

At this, most of the spirits brayed in hearty tones, for they thought the idea ridiculous. That is, until Wish continued:

“I realize it sounds strange, but the way I discovered it was this: I happened to follow an energetic young filly, who went to tell another pony how much she liked to weave baskets. She said it made her ‘feel happy’ inside. At that moment, the picture of a basket popped onto the filly’s flank.”

This roused an incredulous clamor amid the assemblage.

“But what good is that information to us?” grumbled one elemental. “We cannot create these ‘Cutie Marks’. Every time we try, they disappear.”

This was true. Cutie Marks were the one thing the elementals could never accomplish through their magical arts, much to their indignation.

“I have been thinking,” Wish persisted over their protestations. “Perhaps it is time for us to take drastic steps.” She took a deep breath, hesitating. “We must go among the ponies, speak to them, and make our intentions known to learn from them.”

If the incredulous clamor that had followed Wish’s Cutie Mark discovery had been thunderous, the outcry that erupted at her suggestion could have spilt a mountain.

The elementals who favored the herd and ponies announced it a fine idea. It was the best next step, these spirits agreed. They stood to learn more from these neighbors, who were perhaps not so different from them after all.

But the restless and wilder elementals sent up a vicious commotion. Proud and mighty spirits, approaching ponies as if they stood on equal grounds? These spirits raged. Outrageous! Who ever heard of such a thing? Next, Wish would say the spirits should actually live with the ponies. It was beneath them.

And then a dark silver elemental that went by Rampage roared:

“I have a much better idea. If this energy is inside the ponies, all we must do is gobble them up to make their powers ours.”

With that, hostilities fiercer and greater than any that had come before exploded between the elementals—those who wanted to continue learning from the ponies, and those who wanted to devour them. The whole desert echoed with their battle, which continued on with the greatest intensity due in part to the persistence they had learned. All understood a great deal was at stake. Elementals even fell and faded during that battle, with their magic peppering the sand. Others would never regain the abilities they had once enjoyed.

For their part, the elementals who cared for the ponies were better organized and fought harder—with greater strength than they had ever had ever thought possible.

This power disconcerted and amazed the wild elementals, who had thought theirs would be an easy victory. The spirits who wielded the greater arcane magic may have been stronger in this way, but the gentler elementals had far more resolve—combining their forces against their foes.

In the end, both sides lay fading and spent upon the desert sands.

Wish looked around at those elementals who had stood beside her, and thought of the ponies in the village. They would continue to thrive, yet now her companions and she could never come to understand those they had fought to protect.

This thought and sight filled Wish with such sadness that she wept the first tear an elemental had ever shed, and she wished from the deepest part of her spirit that they all might find some way to thrive as well.

Her tear touched the sands, and Wish collapsed into darkness.

“Wake up, young spirit,” Wish heard a kind voice beckon, followed by faint jingling sounds.

Opening her eyes, Wish saw before her a white stallion dressed in blue robes decorated with stars and lined by bells. For her tear, and wish, had summoned none other than the great Starswirl the Bearded from his travels and brought the sorcerer to her side.

Although she had never seen him before, Wish recognized Starswirl—for he was one of the most powerful wizards Equestria and the lands beyond would ever encounter, and all spells knew him in some way.

“Oh, Wizard Starswirl,” Wish said. “You came.”

“I did.” The wizard nodded his bearded head. “Your magic summoned me from faraway to this desert. You are quite strong.”

“I may have been strong, but I am fading now.”

“You are mistaken,” Starswirl the Bearded said, with a smile breaking over his features. “Rise, and you will see everything is well. Take a look.”

And Wish found that what the wizard said was true. She could reach her feet and was no longer fading.

Wish gasped in disbelief. For many of the elementals who had fought with her were fine, prancing in place with glee and stomping their hooves in celebration. Where Rampage and the wild elementals had once charged upon them, now many earthen jars stood in neat rows.

“I have placed all the dangerous spirits who would do ponies harm in those pots and sealed them tight,” Starswirl commented. “It might surprise you how many pot-related spells I have come to know or needed in my travels.”

That is when Wish noticed that boxes of various colors, wrapped in bright ribbons, stood beside each of her companions. She also had one such box, which seemed ready to draw in her spirit at any moment.

“Would you seal us as well?” Wish asked Starswirl, horrified.

“Because of how weak you were, I had no choice,” Starswirl responded. “I have attached your spirits to these boxes. But do not fear. You are not the same as those elementals in the pots, whom I will place in hiding where no pony can find them. No.” He winked at Wish. “Ponies for generations to come will to celebrate receiving and finding boxes such as yours, and in this, your wish has come true.”

“How so?”

“Because whenever a pony opens a box with you or one of your friends inside, you will have the power—and must grant them—three wishes. They will be grateful for this service, and you must stay close by until their final wish. So you will come to know each pony you help. And one day, perhaps you will find and become more than that.” Starswirl glanced at Wish’s blank flank.

Wish caught the look, and it gave her hope.

“Thank you,” Wish said. “On behalf of all the elementals.” Then she bowed before the great wizard, followed by those who had stood beside her in battle.

“Oh, but you are no longer elementals—or wandering spells,” Starswirl addressed the herd. “You are now Gift Horses, because you give delightful presents to the ponies who open your vessels. There are limits to what you can bestow, yet if ponies are humble and kind-hearted, they will always get what they desire most in the end.”

So if you should come across a present while wandering, or receive a gift with such a magical spirit inside—rejoice and welcome them with an open heart.

Author's Note:

This was an idea I had been mulling over in my mind for a while, since most equine-related phrases in Equestria might tend to have a basis in myth or legends.

In any case, enjoy! :D

Comments ( 50 )

Hmmmm........ Lavender..... Creates a huge impact.......... Observant........... Reasonable......rational.........logical.....magical... Powerful...... Twilight. That's twilights spirit.

5238963 Maybe, ^_^ Thanks for featuring this piece in your library, and adding it to your favorites. :D

5240381 your welcome! :)

5243966 Thank you! A story tends to have many tales wrapped inside it, and I hope you enjoyed this gift. :D

This was hilarious:

"It might surprise you how many pot-related spells I have come to know"

Incidentally, I thought this was a clever story, well told. I enjoyed it. Well done! You certainly know how to write.

5257307 Thank you! My ultimate career and personal goals include learning to become a strong storyteller, so your kind words really mean a great deal. ^_^ And thanks for adding this story to your favorites.

That was a wonderful story! I wish I could write this well!

5286184 Thank you so much! :twilightblush: That means a great deal to me. ;3

That was interesting! I had never ever thought about that before! *scribble scribble*

Minor typographical errors, nothing major. 10/10 for originality!

Thanks for adding to the Species of Equestria!

5387158 Thank you so much, and thanks for adding the story to your favorites! ^_^

Iovely story:pinkiehappy:
10/10 for originality indeed!

Wow, that was great! I've always loved mythology, and this was a really cool myth that feels like it could actually exist in Equestrian lore! If it weren't for some grammatical hiccups, I'd give it a 10/10, but because of them, I'll have to knock it down to 9/10. Still, liked, faved, and followed! Cheers :pinkiesmile:

5612919 Thank you so much, for your kind words, the favorite, and the watch! ^_^ I'll have to go back to revise those hiccups.

The connection to the phrase felt forced and entirely unnecessary, honestly. Other than that, I really liked this.

5619109 Yeah. It was a little hard there, but I'm glad you enjoyed it. ^_^ Thanks for the favorite as well.

I LOVE it!!!!! I truly hope it gets featured on EqD!!!! Continue to shine BRIGHTLY, LiterarySerenity

Yours truly,
Brightly Litt:derpytongue2::pinkiesmile:

5649275 Thank you so much for those kind words, and hopefully everything will go well. ^_^

This is honestly one of the best works that I have ever read. It reads like a true masterpiece. I sincerely wish you the best of luck in your goals and anything else you wish to do.

Haven't finished reading, but I wanted to note that your sentences don't feel as smooth as they could. Word choice is a little odd, and things don't flow as well as they could. Story could use a but of polish in that regard.

5663075 I'm honored! Since my dream is to become a masterful storyteller, your kind words are among the highest praise I could receive. Thank you so much! ^_^

Well, holy crap. I quite enjoyed that.

I'll agree that it could use some polish here and there, but the story I see is bueno. Take a favorite. :duck:

5668996 Thanks, and I'm glad you enjoyed it!

I'm afraid I followed you home. :raritywink:
This was a wonderful story. I'm glad I had the chance to read it. :pinkiehappy:

5741505 Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it. :pinkiehappy:

D'awwwww!

6560608 Aw~ Thanks for watching me!

6569637 and thank you for writing such a lovely tale.

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Author Interviewer

Really good stuff. :D

7888376 Thank you! I'm glad you liked it. ;3

This is a very sweet story. I like it a lot.

7890145 Aw~ Thanks for your kind words. I'm glad you liked it. ;3

Yup, I love this.

7899505 Thank you, and thank you for the favorite! :twilightsheepish:

A fascinating fable, complete with actual amniomorphic spells from Equestria's own hairy potter. Great work. Thank you for it, and congrats on the RCL induction.

7993996 Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it :pinkiehappy: . When I learned RCL wanted to feature the story, it really made my day.

And the history of the greatest hairy potter is revealed. All hail Stairswirl. :pinkiehappy:

7995678 Starswirl can do anything he likes. He's just that powerful of a wizard. :twilightsmile:

Huh there's actually a story out there with a nice not grumpy and mean starswirl the bearded!

7997698 Thank you! There's also the Reflections arc of the comics, which helped to influence my portrayal of him. I love the thought of him being a wise but eccentric wizard. :yay:

Goosebumps and feelings galore <3 Thank you so much for this!

8010191 Thank you for your kind words! I'm happy it gave you goosebumps. :twilightsmile:

I admire your story's central conceit. You turn the phrase "gift horse" from "the horse that is a gift" to "the horse that gives a gift" by treating it as an Anglo-Saxon compound noun. I think Tolkien would have smiled.

I would make one criticism about your choice of words. You are attempting to tell a fairy-tale, something timeless and universal. Yet your words are often modern and particular: entity, attention span, insignia, radiated, and so forth. These yank the reader back from "long ago and far away" to the here and now. When that happens several times within a single paragraph, the effect is disorienting.

To say this to you is a bit of a presumption, for an author's choice of words is one of the most intimate and personal aspects of writing. And I would not have you change a word of this story because you have had at last your dream, and it is yours and a good dream. But since you say in your author's interview that you want to improve your writing skills, may I direct you to a couple of things you might find interesting?

The first is Ursula K. Le Guin's essay "From Elfland to Poughkeepsie." It's very short--only twelve pages--but there is in that little space a great deal of thoughtful observation about word-choice in fantasy, observation which a writer may readily put to good use. Moreover it's a pleasure to read for its clarity and grace of both thought and writing.

The second is a book, but like Le Guin's essay it's a quick and joyous read in which you will learn a great deal: The Ring of Words: Tolkien and the Oxford English Dictionary . It explores how Tolkien's apprentice days as a researcher on the OED taught him not only the vocabulary but the prose aesthetic which later made Middle Earth so vivid and powerful a creation.

I'm sure those two works will be helpful to you as both a scholar and a writer. If you were curious about some much inferior work on the same theme, I could point you towards some of my blog posts as well.

But read those two, at least. You won't regret it :twilightsheepish:

8041703 Whoa! First of all, thanks for your insightful feedback. I know paying closer attention to those types of details will strengthen my stories in the future, particularly since I tend to gravitate toward fairytale and fantasy pieces. Thanks also for the links to the works by Ursula Le Guin and Tolkien (who definitely earned their reputation as skillful fantasy writers), which I'll be sure to check out soon. ;3

Thank you again! I'm grateful for all the advice I can get from fellow writers. ^_^

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