• Member Since 16th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen May 17th

ColdGoldLazarus


Tired, But Trying

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When the three new students arrived and proposed the Battle Of The Bands, they attracted suspicion from Sunset and her friends, but they were prepared to deal with that. What they didn't expect was that their song affected another student more deeply than they could have forseen, and now she's found them. As magical battle erupts around her, Trixie just wants to know if she's rooting for the right side.

And Adagio Dazzle is all too willing to give her the answer she wants to hear...

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 25 )

Your use of description is entrancing

Nice character piece.

Did she truly care for Aria and Sonata despite their frequent ididocy? Yes.

You know, if this is true it makes them not just more, for want of a better word, 'human' than most of the show's villains, it also technically gives them another source of power, since friendship is literally magic.

5086194 :heart:

5086622

Nice character piece.

Thanks!

You know, if this is true it makes them not just more, for want of a better word, 'human' than most of the show's villains, it also technically gives them another source of power, since friendship is literally magic.

...You raise a good point; that's an angle I hadn't thought of... :rainbowderp: I dunno if it should count as a plot hole in my story or something I could maybe work with, but either way, thanks for pointing that out!

The great and powerful Trixie had long been one of Canterlot high’s most infamously self-centered students, with only Lavender Lace and Fuchsia Blush to call friends, and even then just barely. She was full of hot air and boasted at every opportunity, but nobody took her seriously anymore – on some level, she couldn’t even take herself seriously.

Substantative:

This is exactly why Trixie needs a mentor. Just not an evil predator from another dimension. She has few others to anchor her to sanity, she thinks she's sophisticated, and she's really alarmingly innocent given that she's now caught up in a situation where she may encounter truly dangerous forces.

I'm guessing Lavender Lace is the blonde and Fuschia Blush the redhead in the Illusions?

Typo:

Capitalize "high" in "Canterlot High."

There was a door right behind her, but a quick jimmying of the handle revealed it to be locked as well – and she hadn’t thought to bring her lockpicking set, either.

Trixie has a perfectly good, non-sinister reason to be a skilled lockpicker too. Part of stage magic is escape, and an escape artist secretes lockpicks on her person and has to be able to use them under pressure.

“I have to relieve myself, Adagio,” the first voice responded, clearly annoyed at having to be asked in the first place. “unless that’s suddenly against the rules?”

I'm guessing Aria means in the normal, non-horrific sense, but given what they are and that they have singular hungers and thirsts, not entirely satisfied by the consumption of tacos, I am reminded of a scene in Stephen King's Night Flyer. I think we all know which scene I mean, too.

Trixie found herself yanked inward, the door slamming shut behind her. Disorientation and lingering grogginess ruled her scrambled mind, so she just lay there, not really taking in the conversation happening over her head.

“How long has she been here?” Oh, sweet voice, melodic tone…

“How should I know? Anyway, I’ll be back, but I still need to pee.” No, bad. Stupid other voice with your stupid anger and stupid disrespect for the first voice’s beauty. Go away.

Your representation of Trixie falling under Adagio's mind control is truly terrifying.

It’d only been twelve hours and Trixie had forgotten how hot she was.

Their surprise at Trixie actually showing up at their hideout makes me think that Adagio's original mind control succeeded too well -- it was supposed to make Trixie pliable, not make Trixie infatuated with her.

5158454

This is exactly why Trixie needs a mentor. Just not an evil predator from another dimension. She has few others to anchor her to sanity, she thinks she's sophisticated, and she's really alarmingly innocent given that she's now caught up in a situation where she may encounter truly dangerous forces.

Indeed. :twilightoops:

I'm guessing Lavender Lace is the blonde and Fuschia Blush the redhead in the Illusions?

Eeyup!

Capitalize "high" in "Canterlot High."

Woops, thanks for catching that; I've got it fixed now! :twilightsmile:

5158484

Trixie has a perfectly good, non-sinister reason to be a skilled lockpicker too. Part of stage magic is escape, and an escape artist secretes lockpicks on her person and has to be able to use them under pressure.

Indeed so! She forgot them this time, though; her mind was on... other things. *wink wink, nudge nudge*

I'm guessing Aria means in the normal, non-horrific sense, but given what they are and that they have singular hungers and thirsts, not entirely satisfied by the consumption of tacos, I am reminded of a scene in Stephen King's Night Flyer. I think we all know which scene I mean, too.

Unfortunately, I haven't actually read that one yet, so I don't actually know. Either way, Aria was simply referring to the more mundane sense of the word.

Your representation of Trixie falling under Adagio's mind control is truly terrifying.

Well, with that bit in particular, her disorientation and grogginess also contributes quite a bit.

Their surprise at Trixie actually showing up at their hideout makes me think that Adagio's original mind control succeeded too well -- it was supposed to make Trixie pliable, not make Trixie infatuated with her.

Yeah; I guess I should have made it clearer, but while pliability is part of the equation, much of the actual infatuation is purely from Trixie herself. Doesn't make it healthy, of course, given that her attraction is based off an incorrect perception of Adagio's nature, (and one which Adagio is all too willing to perpetuate) but still.

Wow! I thoroughly enjoyed your story! From the initial stage setting in the train yard all the way until Adagio bends Trixie to her will, the atmosphere was incredible.

Your characterization of Adagio as epic manipulator was entrancing, and showed one way and one reason why attacking the Dazzlings directly at the start would have been a catastrophe. Great story!

Regarding Fuschia and Lavender ...

I've been thinking about them. First of all, the way their models are drawn, they both look younger than Trixie -- if The Great And Powerful One is supposed to be around 17-18, I'd peg them as being around 14-16 years old. That doesn't sound like much, but a year or two is a big deal in high school. They're probably young and impressionable, and probably look up to Trixie for her willingness to be herself, even if it's a bombastic sort of self. They may like Trixie more than she does them, and might be hurt if they knew she considers them "barely" her friends.

Both of them from their names (which I'm aware you gave them, but fit them very well) sound a heck of a lot as if they used to be part of the Fashionista clique, but their adherence to Trixie sounds as if they're trying to break loose of the stereotype. Trixie may not feel close to them but they are obviously loyal to her or they wouldn't have gone along with dumping the Rainbooms in the pit. Trixie, note, is above and beyond all the cliques, as was fairly apparent from the first movie -- no one can make Trixie be anything but Trixie.

Fuschia Blush might have come from sort of background in cosmetics or fashion to the point where she was always expected to be like her parents. Lavender Lace looks so much like Cloud Kicker that she practically has to be a Kicker, perhaps on some non-lineal side. Probably a cousin. I'm guessing the Kickers are a big family with a strong military tradition, and this particular branch is into something connected with clothing design or perfume -- and Lavender is rebelling against both sets of expectations.

Anyway, thainks for naming them, as this lets me speculate a bit more productively about who they are.

5171308 It's alright, I just want to give my friend her credit. :pinkiesmile:

5166683 Thank you! I'm glad you liked my take on Adagio. :twilightsmile:

5167453 Actually, I'll admit I got the names off of Derpibooru and hadn't really put that much thought into them, given I was only giving passing mentions.
That being said, I like all that stuff you came up with; it is okay if I use that in future chapters?

So I decided to give this a shot.

It looks like I won't be burned by the [Romance] tag. :yay:

Also
>fight scene
>conjuring weapons and stuff
Lolwat :rainbowderp:

5175149

It looks like I won't be burned by the [Romance] tag. :yay:

Most likely.

Also
>fight scene
>conjuring weapons and stuff
Lolwat :rainbowderp:

See author's notes. :rainbowwild:

5175173
Still completely out of left field! :rainbowwild:

Or maybe right field.

5175195 Fair point. :derpytongue2:

What about forward and slightly to one side field? Or in-a-box-by-the-door field?

Woow, I never expected to see this updated. Huzzah! I really enjoyed your depictions of the siren's, especially Aria and Sonata. Trixie got a glimpse of what they are like to those they care about. I am most interested in seeing what happens with Trixie and the sirens, especially if she finds out Adagio's lie.

7450147 Thanks!

And I think it's pretty obvious that Trixie will find out eventually. It's just a matter of when.

She felt like she knew the three of them from somewhere, and like she could just implicitly trust them, despite having never met them until earlier today,

This is one of the best and most subtle descriptions of falling under the sirens' influence that I've read. It doesn't override peoples' normal character or have them acting like idiots, just gives the sirens an implicit advantage.

Really interesting take on Sunset, really refreshing and works well. I like to think it's the sort of angle the show itself could have taken if the EG universe got the same runtime as the Equestrian one, instead of having to deal with 1.5 hours of Sunset being loathsome to another 1.5 hours of her being quiet but nice. I liked her nasty thought about Fluttershy, because I think it's realistic that she would still think things like that from time to time, as you say, after just a month versus three years.

Very much looking forwards to reading more.

Falling for the Sirens call, check.

Here's to hoping she doesn't start sleeping with Sirens.

I'm so sorry for that joke

This story has definitely peaked my interest.
One sided love(so far), I can't wait to see if the train wrecks into Feelsville or continues down the Romance Junction.

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