• Member Since 16th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen May 17th

ColdGoldLazarus


Tired, But Trying

E
Source

Twilight stands in an empty, frozen Canterlot Castle. She's freezing to death, but she dares not move an inch, for fear of failing the test.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 71 )

Hmm... interesting. All the descriptive flavor I would expect from you is there, and the premise is enticing.

The use of colored formating is novel. I really liked the early use on all the pronouns relating to HER. I do think the technique breaks down though when the color shifts over more completely; at that point all it really does is make the text harder to read.

1171698 Thank you!

Ah, thank you. Fixed it!

Yeah, the teal was a bad choice on white. A deeper blue would have preserved contrast and aided readability. Other than that minor stylistic nitpick, good show! Thumbs up from me.

1173924 Welp, I'll go ahead and fix that. Thank you!

I'm sorry but I tried to understand the story. Its great as in the writing but I just dont get it. PLEASE EXPWAIN

1173988 I don't really know either, so I'm afraid I'm of little help there. :applejackunsure:

I'm not sure that I get it.
Is it all in Twilight's mind as an interaction with her mother?

1173993 I guess that's one possible interpretation. :duck:

...wat.

Explain. My puny brain cannot grasp the true meaning of this fic. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/sillyfilly_Twilight_Sparkle.png

I liked it, no matter how badly it confused me. The use of color was a nice touch.

I'm surprised I liked this. I'm surprised because not even you, the author, are aware of what you wrote. While this could be open to interpretation, it's rendered slightly hopeless because not even the author can come to a conclusion as to what is going on. To keep the readers guessing because of this sort of bugs me. However, I really like the premise and the style, especially with the colors.

I love it, a very different take on the possible relationship between Twilight and Nightmare Moon. I hope we will see more in the future...? :pinkiehappy:

I like it. To me, it's if Nightmare Moon had won that night, and has spent years brainwashing Twilight. These "Test Days" make her a little weaker each time, eventually breaking her completely.

1174216 You cannot grasp the true form!

1174341 Thank you. :twilightsmile:

1175135 I can see where you're coming from with that, and I am a bit sorry I can't help in that department. But thank you anyway!

1175159 Well, I'm not sure whether or not I'll be continuing this at all...

1175197 That's a good interpretation!

Pweeze another chapter? Or two? Or twenty, if you feel like it? :twilightsmile:

Hmm... the new color is more readable but blends into the standard black text a bit too much, losing that sense of otherworldliness.

#00CCCC for Nightmare Moon, and...
#CC00CC for the empowered Twilight bits.

Possibly make both bolded as well; it helps the color stand out more and adds a sense of weight and power.

1175573 Whee, formatting! :pinkiecrazy:

But really, thank you again; I think it looks good now. :twilightsmile:

1175627
Mmm... yes, most tasty indeed. I still love how it makes NMM feel so icy in her power, invoking the cold and lifeless depths of space.

1175637 :eeyup: That's probably the thing I'm most proud of with this, in hindsight.

While I really like it, its not finished, and I can't say its good. It leaves without an ending, it starts without a base. Nor does it go on, to give it a base (more common in fictional writing).

1176097 I guess that's the drawback of spontaneous writing. :applejackunsure:

1176097 1176171
I don't think that's really a problem here. Some fics are sprawling epic masterpieces, others are tightly contained one-shots, this is something else (though I'm not entirely sure what). It might be a piece of something larger, but trying to expand on it might only lessen the value of this little snippet.

If inspiration strikes, by all means write more, but I think this fic stands perfectly well on its own as is.

Huh-wa....?
I don't think it be like it is but it do, the hell happen here?

I like it, I really do, but I still get that feeling of 'I think I missed something'.

1176316 Ah true. :twilightsheepish:

1176414 That does seem to be the general consensus...

I quite like this, and honestly, I'd love to see YOUR interpretation, if only because that means you could flesh this out. As for my interpretation, I see this as "Twilight Sparkle actually is child of Nightmare Moon, as in, after Luna became Nightmare Moon. When Nightmare Moon was banished, Twilight having just been born, the both of them were sealed away. As Twilight was not being as powerful as Nightmare Moon, and not the intended target, her "essence" leaked out of the prison and into the yet-unborn foal of her (canon) parents. Fast forward several years, and Nightmare Moon has either come back, or won the initial encounter. Having recognized her child either through sight or a "motherly bond", Nightmare Moon whisks Twilight away to bond with, train, and teach her. Twilight, not believing the unlikely but truthful scenario, is defiant (which would indicate that this is fairly early on after becoming her "student").

1180273 That's an interesting one. :pinkiehappy:

I guess my thought is that NMM somehow managed to escape a few years early, catching Celestia off guard. Since she hadn't fully enacted her plan to get Twi to go to Ponyville and meet the soon-to-be other EoH, NMM prevailed and has taken Twi as her own student. The Test Days, one every month or so (Whenever it's a new moon) are meant as more of a physcological training (Twi failed the test when she got impatient) type thingy. But because NMM's a bitch, she doesn't bother to explain how Twilight failed, leaving her no better off. Also, for whatever reason, NMM insists she call her her mother. Idunno about that part, honestly. :applejackunsure:

Or something.

1180273

That is actually a really interesting take on this. I thought Twilight had gone through mind rape or something. :pinkiecrazy:

What did I just read?:twilightoops:

1183720 What did you just read? :applejackunsure:

1183771 I'm not entirely sure.:twilightsheepish:

1184395 Did you enjoy it, at least? :duck:

1186678Yes I did, I was just a bit perplexed.

1187137 That seems to be the general consensus. For me, too.

1316354 Mind at least explaining why you didn't like it?

1339583 It's so confusing. I have no idea why, how, or a definite of who in regards to the story.

1339720 Well, I don't know about how or why either, but the who's in the character tags. :applejackunsure:

1339740 But it just doesn't seem like Nightmare Moon :/

1339795 It's not like we really saw much of her, so it's kinda hard to gauge her personality properly. :applejackunsure:

1339919 It's just too confusing for me.

I think i get it though explaining it seems to be beyond my grasp at the moment...

well maybe not as i see it twilight may have developed a student teacher relationship with nightmare moon but after a while the tests became more and more difficult eventually nmm got twilight beginning to call her mother. i really wonder if nmm would actually develop feelings for the unicorn or whether the Alicorn is cold all the way through? tho this is my two cents on the matter and they may not be entirely or even close to the pemise of the story cheers.

cheers:twilightsmile:

Ah, the "Read Later" list - how I have neglected thee.

This was very intriguing and compelled me think, google some long buried philosophy terms, listen to the track (neat!), hunt down the lyrics, and think some more. Still feel like I'm missing something, though that wasn't the point, right?


(Still, I had fun.)

a bit confusing and taken out of context, but enjoyable nonetheless.

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