• Member Since 16th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen May 17th

ColdGoldLazarus


Tired, But Trying

E

The elements of harmony wake up scattered across a mysterious island. They soon find that it is inhabited by an enigmatic society with their own set of elemental protectors, and despite their best attempts to regroup and search out a way to return home, they find themselves increasingly involved in the problems of their benefactors. As a familiar darkness encroaches and astonishing parallels between the worlds are brought to the fore, escape seems less and less likely...

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 95 )

This story sounds complicated.
I dont think my handle can brain it.

:rainbowhuh:Wait...is this...Bionicle?!?:rainbowderp:

476066 Wait, are you being sarcastic?

Wait, is that a crossover tag I see? The colors looks a little suspicious, too...:ajsmug:

476084 Yes. :trollestia:

476089 That is indeed a crossover tag you see. ^_^

476102 That's right! It had to be done.

476115 Thanks!

Ahh, bionicle... I remember those... wait... does that mean there will be mechanicle ponies?

476130 Before I was a brony, I was a Bionicle fan. Be careful, I might regress to nerd-mode in the coming chapters.

Never did like Bionicles.Too hard to make.
I'll give this credit and a track, though.

Avi

I like it :D

Oh god, I would've never thought of a MLP-Bionicle crossover. Maybe because it's been like 4 years since I stopped caring about the storyline, I pretty much forgot about it until now, when I read the comments, glanced at the pic and instantly recognized the Toa Mata, Takanuva and Makuta. Now that I think about it, I always saw a connection of sorts between the Mane Six and Toa Teams, which usually were of six different elements too.

This sure will be interesting, faving just to see how it turns out. :moustache:

476160 Gee, that tells me so much. :ajbemused:

476172 Good guess, but not quite. The ponies are ponies, but everything else is biomech.

476243 Same here. I consider myself duly warned and would like to warn you in return that I have a bad habit of picking and choosing which bits of canon I like, so there may be some things off. And since the toa are ponies, I had to adjust for that, too. :twilightsheepish:

476452 Eh, I actually liked the more complicated ones better, but to each their own. Thanks, and I hope I can make this worth your while!

476854 Thanks!

476897 Same here; I have mixed feelings about 2008 and hated 2009-2010, so I'm just going to stick to the first few years in this.
Yep, there's also a lot of similarity between the early storyline and the Nightmare Moon 'mythology.'

476958 :twilightblush: Sorry; I have a friend who says stuff like that in complete seriousness (though it's not true) so I wanted to be sure.

Heh, not bad. found 2 bionicle crossovers in one day. And I'm tracking both. so, keep it comin'

A Bionicle-MLP crossover? I freakin' love you.

It's ironic that in the space of one week at least 3 MLP/Bionicle crossovers spawned... and while this one seems slowest to grow it is showing the most potential. I look forwards to more of this, though I must say that if this is a crossover with the mane 6 acting as the toa, the entire timeline will be screwed over and changed rather fast.

If I recall, they first face a number of rahi, then their dark clones or shadows, then bohrok, then bohrok queens, then bohrok kal, then rahkshi, then makuta him- (on in this case, her-) self. then they find their ancestral home, then the flashbacks of metru nui, then the ignika/mahri sidestory (I would love to see you make a band of the sidecharacters the ignika... that would be perfect) and then finally the arc in karda nui against actual makuta, before moving to bara magna and having celestia as the mane character.

Hmmm... most interesting.

hello fellow Bionicle nerd/brony first I like to say this is a great intro to your story and I see what there with the mane six and the six Koros. Twilight to Ko-wahi, Apple Jack to Po-wahi, Rarity to Ga-wahi, Pinkie in Le-wahi, Rainbow Dash in Ta-wahi, and Fluttershy in Onu-wahi. Now I'm an author of another Bionicle/MLP story called My Little Bionicle: Destiny is Magic and I have the same pic, with permission from the artist. Some one by the name of Orpheus said that I ripped you off. Now I'm not whining about this I'm just saying that it is good to know some one like that to have your back.

488936 Are you referring to Toa Coy's? And thank you, I will!

518339 Thanks!

519582 Thank you. I do apologise for how long this is taking, but life has a way of barging in on writing time, and I'm as neurotic as Rarity or Twilight sometimes.
I won't be going past the Mask Of Light arc if I even go that far, but just for fun...
Jaller: Shining Armor (Duh!)
Hewkii: Bon-Bon (Macku is Lyra. :I)
Nuparu: Twitht
I dunno about the others, though...

520204 I'll take a look at your story! And yes, very.

Also, going to say right now to everyone that I'm not having the Mane Six replace the Toa. Nope, I have a different plan in mind. >:D :trollestia::pinkiecrazy:

526432 That leaves Hali, of water,
Kongu, of Air,
and Matoro, of Ice.

Twilight as Nuparu though...? There are other unicorns... much more fitting ones.

527218 Yeah, I can't think of anyone fitting them.

No, Twitht! :twistnerd:

527239 If you would allow... leave that, to moi'. I love helping other people with their stories since I don't have any of my own to handle yet.

527299 Well, like I said, I won't be going any further than MOL. I have a pretty clear idea of how this will end, (though I'm giving myself leeway on how it gets there) but thank you for the offer! :)

527327 my pleasure. Heck, maybe I'll continue it if you leave it open ended.

476172 Just for pun... are you enquiring as to the presence of iron horses in this fic? Because as far as I know the only one I've seen goes between canterlot and appleloosa with a stop in ponyville... and it's an iron horse pulled by horses with iron in them! sweet huh?

Holy crap dude!:pinkiegasp: There are so many epic stories on this site, I can't get enough of it!:rainbowwild: Especially this story, because it rocks so hard!:pinkiehappy:

Ah!! I was about to make a comment about how annoyed I was that you switched Twilight "Firemane" Sparkle into an Ice-typer, and Dash into the fire type... then I read the footnote, and wish to express my deepest facepalm and apology at that sentiment. I can't wait for more, and I can empathize with how good unlimited internet feels.

Also... Kapura is a creep.

571112

Kapura is just a little aloof. If you know Vakama, you'd know that he can see potential in things normally deemed worthless.

571281 Now that I think about it, that is eerily like Celestia.

571286

Not really, if you're thinking about Twilight's backstory as her student. Twilight made it kinda friggin' obvious she had something in store.

571315 Yeah, but Celestia pretty obviously thinks that way about everypony. What other reason is there for her to keep scum like Blueblood around?

571319

Family and press coverage? Besides, I think Blueblood only showed up at the GGG.

As far as the whole interaction played out, it looked perfectly fine to me; you definitely captured Kapura perfectly (not boring, just slow) and it reflects in how RD reacts to him. Based on events in the show, I'd say you portrayed Dash just fine to me, all six of them have learned and grown in their own way, just remember that she is impatient, abrasive and quick to jump to the point (or to get others to the point). I'd like to imagine that having Tank would give her the chance to slow down every once in a while and allow others to catch up.

533172 Why, thank you! :scootangel:

571112 Wow, I didn't even think of the fire-mane connection... But still, I stand by Twilight in Ko-koro due to her intellectual nature. [strike]and the shenanigans that would result from her having immediate access to the island's main source of knowledge[/strike] and RD seemed to fit best in the village of hotheads. [strike]In fact, I chose all of them based on what would result in the most chaos![/strike] :pinkiecrazy:

571281 Yeah, that's the impression I got too, from the MNOLG. :)

573495 Thank you! I think I could have had RD be a bit more confrontational, but whatever. I suppose I didn't think of that, but it does make sense!

571112 Just kidding. I have deeper reasons than shenanigans. [strike]Mostly.[/strike]

Why do the Matoran and Toa have to ponified while the Rahi don't?:rainbowhuh:

578456 Because a pony version of a Nui Rama would be weird, and because I'm lazy. :duck:

578784
Huh?:rainbowhuh: I meant, why did you ponify the Matoran and the Toa?:rainbowhuh:

579477 :derpyderp2::derpyderp1: Ummm... simplicity? I'll be honest with myself and admit I just sort of always had them as ponies when I was planning this out. It didn't occur to me to keep their biomechanical forms.

Waited forever for this, nice to know about your unlimited Internet. :rainbowkiss: Rainbow Dash was perfectly in character as far as I'm aware, and the few that is known about Kapura's personality was captured pretty well though. I loved the MNOLG references scattered on the RD-Kapura dialogue, but I really do hope the following episodes aren't just copypasting dialogue from there and throwing the Mane Six in. But I assume you'll be wise enough not to do so. :twilightsmile:

My only complaint is that so far everything seems pretty... Linear, and kinda lacking emotion. Might be your writing style, or even the lack of action in the story so far.

579625 Sorry; I promise I'm working on the next one! Thank you, and don't worry, that scene was less out of copypasting and more to liven up the otherwise dull trip to the volcano, and I figured meeting Kapura would be the perfect way to establish RD's later additude towards the ordeal. :moustache:

I hope it's simply the lack of action, though I have been told I can be a bit dry. When I don't watch myself, though, I tend to veer into Purple Prose, which is arguably worse. Part of it is that I'm not good at writing emotion very well, another is that I see RD as being like HL's Barney Calhoun; put your less productive emotions, like fear, panic, or sadness on hold until after the crisis is over.

Linear?

Well, there I was, lying awake in bed and unable to sleep. So I figured I'd hit up some FimFic to catch up on some reading, but looking over my list of fics that I've been falling behind on nothing was jumping out at me. It was all either way too long to start on or just not anything I was in the mood for. Then I thought to myself, Wait, doesn't my friend LDLUYAB have some writings? In short order I moseyed over here, to confirm and hey only ~1800 words for Ch1, yeah I can knock that back.

Over all opinion, you got talent. I could easily recognize the core personalities of each of mane-6 and you did a great job of painting a narrative description of both their moods and the world around them. The en medias res intro wasn't what I expected, but it drew me in fairly quickly too. I especially like the way each scene sort of bleed into the next, giving it a nice jumpy pace. Special applause go for transitioning from Pinkie getting attacked by one beast and straight into Applejack already mid fight with one of her own.

After I finished I started skimming the comments and a word I hadn't at all expected came up, "Bionicle", and I was like :pinkiegasp: No way! How did I miss that? Looking back the signs were all there; island divided into six distinct regions and populated by bio-mechanical life-forms, crossover tag up top, and after taking a second look at the art, yes those are ponified Toa. I was a pretty big Bionicle nut for like 4~5 years, getting every single set, multiples of a few, and dozens of mask packs and the like, before I sorta lost touch with it when the Piraka arc started.

So yeah, MLP + Bionicle + written by a friend + written very well = I have no choice but to like this. Updates look to be sparse, so I'm not going to dive straight into Ch2, but I'll definitely be back for more of this.

PS: I'd been in something of a downer funk most of the night :pinkiesad2:, but this story snapped me right out of that and into a very happy place. :pinkiehappy: Thanks man.

729837 Wow, thank you! :D I wasn't sure how well the transitions would go over, so I'm glad you liked them!

Yeah, same here. I held on a bit longer, but yeah, same story here.

By the way, I'll get onto proofreading your new story soon; been adjusting after the flight and got roped into helping with some yardwork. Definitely before tomorrow ends, though! :twilightsmile:

I'm glad I could help. :)

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