• Member Since 20th May, 2014
  • offline last seen Mar 18th, 2022

New Dawn


This has been dead for a long time. I return now and again for various reasons, but I've moved on from here.

T
Source

A Displaced Story.

My name is Heather, and I'm stuck in Equestria. I'm hated by 2 and a half of the mane 6 and I'm stranded with a young changeling. Ok, let's see what else... Ah yes, I'm constantly changing into wolf link whenever the black twilight crystal decides. Wait, It's me? Never mind! Oh yeah, plus I'm stuck here without my best friend... I'm slowly going insane...


I know I've already written this but now I've just changed it up and tried the best to my ability to make it good.
Marked Teen because there is going to be fight scenes because you can't have a LoZ fic without fighting. I'm terrible with fight scenes so the first one I do most likely is going to be because of a fit of rage or something. The next... I might need help on.
Thanks to zekromthepokemon for the new title name!
Takes place sometime around the first few days of Twilight's alicornhood.
More tags will be added as story develops and don't worry, the main character won't turn into a pony.







Maybe... But most likely not. I'll make no promises :raritywink:

Chapters (21)
Comments ( 132 )

First off, drink heavily, second off, write the best fanfic ever about my life so at least i can catch a glimpse of heaven before i descend to hell. FRom there if it did finally happen i would go and try to end it all, because suicide might make up for all the grammar mistakes im sure my fanfic author would have since im so unlucky. And in the end, ope that i don't turn into another HIE fic where the human gets turned into a pony.:ajbemused:

Good story though, but you need to remember to get your dialogue a little more meaty. Your going to fast for it to properly flow, and it ends up being read in a choppy and monotone voice. You also should change your story description with her being mute since it doesn't matter at all if it gets entirely cleared up in the first chapter. Also, maybe you should back up a chapter and explained what happened before she was kidnapped by lyra, as well as go and give some more meat to the exchange between link and ganondorf. Hope this helps at all! I really want to see where this story goes!:pinkiehappy:

Comment posted by Disconcerted deleted Oct 22nd, 2014
Comment posted by Uberdeathninja deleted Oct 22nd, 2014

I'm sorry that you lost your editor! Though from it looks like there is no notice lr drop in quality, so I assume that the reason the editor is realley needed is for spelling and grammar mistakes, along with seeing it from an outside perspective so that you can add in bits to have it make sense if your filling in story gaps in your head. I hope you get an editor soon youth, and as I said I'm sure many, inclusion myself would be happy to do te job!

5173941 Yep I do need help with grammar and stuff like that but like I said in my blog post, I'm learning. This isn't really my best work but I have one I worked on with Dazzler. You can clearly see the differences in that one, but because it was on a different channel and FiMfic won't let me post it on this one... No One is ever going to see it again... I got it saved on my computer though, like all my fics. even the bad ones.. *Shudders*

5173961
All of them you say, in hard drive 3? An which file is it? I can't help but wonder if it's in fanfics on finfics. My hacking skills are getting shoddy! How am I supposed to steal stories from authors computers to read them if I mix up my ifs and thens! Though I do wonder what doc could make one of my fav authors shudder.....

5173994 NO FICS FOR YOUUUU!!!! :flutterrage: If you ask kindly maybe I can figure something out and you can read A New Rule. PS I have it on a separate USB that is hidden away where I keep all my personal treasures.

5174003
Curses! A USB! The greatest protection against me I have ever dealt with. Seems like now I'll have to say please may i read A new rule? I'll can add an Internet cherry on top!

5174014 Sure :twilightsmile: I'll set a code on it so no one but you can read.

5174024
Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!

5174037 Ok it took a day but I finally got it up. gotta wait til it's got approval though...:raritycry:

Congrats man! Good to see a new chapter. It looks kind of confusing though, as the text bounces around a lot, since i couldn't really Evan tell where Heather was with the changing... Also there's the fact that she seemed to have some erratic downswings when she heard stun, but then again, the original description did say she has anger issues. Just make sure you make a new paragraph every time the speaker changes.:pinkiehappy: Keep up the good work!

5208958 Navi's a good idea. put a little reference from Ocarina of Time. i'll think about it after Halloween updates.

5221173 What do you mean by that my good sir? :trixieshiftright::twilightsmile::raritywink:

5222533 just a idea is all :ajsmug: pm me if you want to talk about it:derpytongue2:

Hey man! Stop saying you have terrible writing skills! You are like the young flower, waiting for the power of the forbidden magics allowing you to grow into your own dark free will, with the ability to have others do your bidding as everyone has done unto you for too long! Rise my arcane minion! RISE! Soon, we shall win against all! Also , on a lighter topic remember that if Heather inst actually saying something out loud, it dosent need parenthesis for talking. I f shes just thinking, you can put it in like everything else. Theres also the fact that your still being a bit too choppy in your transitions, but that's more of a clinstide problem, not a server side one. I just hope to see more and good luck! Though I am kind of peeved i cant think of what that reference you put in is. Good luck!

"watches celstias banna power" WHAT DID YOU JUST HAVE ME WATCH:raritycry:
Though in other news im gad to see whats happening with this story, though it is slightly confusing again with the transitions since shes like in the dining room and then shes suddenly outside the palace. I cant wait to see what happens next, and if this keeps up i see an animation in the future of navi flying around heather as there fighting the various monsters of equestria!
Heck, that could be what happens next with heather going around the land, fighting off evil for pay, and facing the moral ambiguity of being a sword for hire, all with the help of navi using her powerful magics to go and help heather lock onto enemies!
But this is just an idea however, so you can take the story in any direction you want! Just go with what you feels best and keep up the good work!

5224838 Navi is the changeling.... I just don't know if you realize that\

STOP SAYING NO ONE CARES ABOUT THE BACK STORY OR YOU OR ANY THING ELSE THAT SELF DEPRECIATES YOU! Your a good writer with a dream, and i thank you for the delicious cake along with the cookies i got last chapter. And ill have you know that thomas the tank engine song is the best song that has ever reached this earth! just think of all the remixes online! Truly, thomas is the strongest of all trains, evan above mighty kain the vampire.

5237965
What did I jut say! Stop saying your bad, cause yor awesome!

Inside the bottle was a note.

You get a fave just for that little nugget of nostalgia.

5249195 :P Whaaaat Nostalgia? :derpytongue2: No I'm serious... that wasn't intentional... but I know the reference that I accidentally made XD.

Well, this is interesting so far, I can't wait to see where you take it...

Well, this is amusing, plus Twilight Princess Link is best Link. ^^b
I like the idea of morning-cranky Celestia, the casual Godessess and Navi. Your Navi. The real one is a headache.
I´m eagerly awaiting the next chapter.:twilightsmile:

5261498 Well, I'd better not keep you waiting. :raritywink:

5224799 The swordfight scene. Its supposed to be a reference to the panfight scene with fly-i mean Eugene and Maximus.

IT MUST BE GAVIN. TIS THE ONLY EXPLANATION!

"I'm terribly sorry about Dusk Light here, He lost the ability to use his voice when he was a filly but he has extraordinary fighting skills. Ah, right my name. Golden Might at your service." he said, holding out his hoof.

Transgender is now cannon!

"Why in the name of... of good in the name of jokes do you have a triforce on your flank?!" I asked, rather surprised.

Makes no sense in its current state. It can be shortened to a simple "why do you have a triforce on your flank?" I asked incredulously.

Master Blade

and you call yourself a LoZ fanatic... you should be ashamed...

5321501 I was tired on that day. I live in the U. S so, I don't know about you, I'm tired when I write these things! I'm also tired right now ok?!

5321560 Uhgh... I can't think straight... I'm just going to go to sleep now..

It would be hilarious if anyone who heard that message also heard the side conversation. I would die laughing.


5321507

Lesson One.
NEVER act defensive, regardless of how you feel or whether you think you're in the right. Simply grit your teeth, and write out a non confrontational message usually detailing how you thank them for their time in writing a message. Otherwise, you come off as a jerk, and people just latch onto that one message and it all spirals downhill from there.
*gives you a hug*

“So, about where you live…” She said, levitating the pencil back on the table.
“AAAND We’re done here!” I said, covering my ears with my hands.

For a comedic moment, you could replace the last sentence with:
"AAAND Cut! Alright lets do this again. This time you don't care where I live. AAAND ACTION!"

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