• Member Since 12th Aug, 2013
  • offline last seen 9 minutes ago

Bad Dragon

I write so that one day I may finally stop writing and be free, but these damn new ideas keep finding ways into my brain. I need to write more to keep up with them.

Comments ( 384 )

Comment section minigames for the story Rape Is Bad and You Should Feel Bad (anypony can play in the comment section of this story)

Does this story remind you of a song that you know? If yes, post it in the comments in the following format:
- A link or embedded Youtube video of it.
- Percentage of correlation (0% being an unrelated song, 100% being a song written exactly for this story).
- Reason why this song reminded you of this story or the excerpt of the lyrics that resonates with this fic in some way.

Music for reading:
Nemesea - In Control — Correlation: 75% (Lyrics)
Fear, will be yours, in this world — Full of whispering voices — Day after day, I will stay, I will haunt you — Here I am am, you will be mine

The Birthday Massacre - Looking Glass — Correlation: 70% (Lyrics)
I see it coming — But I can't defend — You cut so deep

Sin7sinS - Between Broken Dreams — Correlation: 70% (Lyrics)
Walk through the darkness — and leave me hanging  — between broken dreams

The Gathering - Saturnine — Correlation: 70% (Lyrics)
All the stuff you left me with — is way too much to handle — but I guess you don't care

[Recommended by 4895141] Whitechapel - Prostatic Fluid Asphyxiation — Correlation: 70% (Lyrics)
I'm not sorry. I don't care at all for what I did — You deserve everything you got — Disinclined. Her fear is keeping me enticed — Her gateway of sin exposed for fornication

[Recommended by 4899742] Nine Inch Nails - Big Man With A Gun — Correlation: 70% (Lyrics)
I can reduce you — Annotate if I want — I can devour — I'm hard as fucking steel, and I’ve got the power

Peter Dreimanis - Bad Moon Rising — Correlation: 50% (Lyrics)
Hope you got your things together—Hope you are quite prepared to die—Looks like we're in for nasty weather

Death Party UK - Bad Moon Rising — Correlation: 45% (Lyrics)
Looks like we're in for nasty weather — One eye is taken for an eye

Inkubus Sukkubus - Hedonistic Gene — Correlation: 45% (Lyrics)
Destruction tastes sweeter, each time that you meet her — She's reckless and gives and she takes

Dharma - Energy vampire — Correlation: 40% (Lyrics)
I’ve been draining — You’ve been holding out with the fire in my eyes — Our bed — Our funeral pyre — Ashes of empire

The Birthday Massacre - Falling Down — Correlation: 40% (Lyrics)
Trace your footsteps home — Your hands are always reaching out of favor — Your kind are only good for bad behavior

Dangan Ronpa - Despair — Correlation: 40% (Lyrics)
Mask the weakness — Delve into the madness

Elysion - Killing My Dreams — Correlation: 40% (Lyrics)
Cries in the sky pray to believe — My heart and soul will never forgive — We are all being used — Our lives have been abused

[recommended by 4895122] Robin Thicke - You're A Good Girl (I Know You Want It) — Correlation: 40% (Lyrics)
OK now he was close, tried to domesticate you — But you're an animal, baby, it's in your nature — Just let me liberate you

Beautiful Sin - Lost — Correlation: 40% (Lyrics)
Trapped into a fateful web, my instinct couldn't tell — On my own with my decisions, decay into that spell
Beautiful Sin - Lost — Correlation: 40% (Lyrics)
And boys are so cruel — So don't let them find you...tonight

Does this story remind you of a picture that you know? If yes, post it in the comments. You might win this game, and your picture will get posted as a cover art for this story.

Record yourself reading this story aloud. Upload your mp3 to MLP: Audiobooks, for instance, and paste the link to your audio or video in the comments.

Reward: A spot in the author’s note of this story.

Triggered and reported.

Faustin #3 · Aug 23rd, 2014 · · 1 ·

Wow, Luna is just as bad as Butch.

Because you triggered me so hard I went into a coma.

4894982 I'm not sure I follow you. How did I trigger you, what was there to report and to whom?

It's times like this that make me wonder how the story approval system works. I know there's people, but I'm not really sure what the exact process is.

4895006 Do you feel that there's something wrong with this story?

Rape is my trigger word. Even if it's used in a non-offensive way, or displayed to make a social commentary, I still feel an overwhelming urge to report all who dare speak of it.
By writing this story, you raped me, Dragor. Why would you rape a lemon?

Wow, Luna is a fucking idiot, she didn't even let him speak his reasons. I only hope that Humanity somehow finds out who is doing this to Earth. Perhaps more Human Lucid Dreamers come to Equestria and rightfully criticize Luna for judging an entire species based on one perverted sicko and demand her to stop killing their world.

4895011 I'm wondering if the guy reporting this had any grounds on you actually breaking a rule.

4895015 I think this is a very important subject that should be talked about, and not swept under the rug, like it's usually done.

4895021 I don't think, I've broken any rules. And if I did, I certainly didn't intend to. It's a serious story about a serious subject.

4895018 4894966 Luna has made bad decisions before in the past. Talking things over isn't the first thing she resorts to.

How dare you talk about something which is a real threat, and should by all rights be addressed in today's day and age, media in particular?
Shame on you, Dragor. Don't you know that rape is bad, and that you should feel bad?

okaaaaay. yeah doubtful that is how it would work out. at the very least she would not judge it all on one human

4895089 Luna blames humans for her transformation into Nightmare Moon. Butch is just a conformation of her fears.

Whats that song where the guy continually says you know you want it? That song seems to be controversial in it being about rape or something.

4894760 Huh. 4k words and it's complete. You certainly didn't dragor it out.

:pinkiehappy::pinkiesmile::pinkiesad2::pinkiesick: Sorry that was bad

4895122 Congratulations, you've just won the Game 1 with your song recommendation
Robin Thicke - You're A Good Girl (I Know You Want It)

Have a cookie.

4895129 I found it funny. :rainbowwild:

"Raping her" pretty much the entire song considering its a first person perspective of Jack the Ripper.

How does a person even win that game? You wrote this story based 100% around that song? That's...sorta scary.

4895109 one guy did it. if it were me i would probably just sit down thinking i was on drugs or something............ yeah.

4895141 Congratulations. You've also won the Game 1. It won't be 90% since there isn't that much gore in the story, but the lyrics are very in line with the fic.

Have a cookie.

4895144 You win the Game 1 if you post a song that is relevant to the story. It doesn't have to be 100% relevant. 40% correlation will get you on the list.

4895154 One guy did what? Are you on drugs?

4895169 she only has one human example of one human example. and mostly if i guy like me found myself in a world of pastel equine i would think someone slipped me acid or something.

4895187 Butch didn't think it was real, either. He thought it was just his lucid dream.

I don't think I actually got this story.

Except if the intent was to show Luna being a complete and utter asshat.

disliked,because rape really IS bad.
dont write rape,rapefagit >:C

Best clopfic I've ever read.

4895281 The point of this story is that ignorance does not exempt you from a judgement of a crime. Butch was both ignorant and an asshat. In the end, he experienced a subversion of his own making.

4895323 You have the same tactic as the Catholic Church in regards to rape. Let's keep everything hush-hush, and maybe the problem will go away on its own.

I disagree with your view and I don't approve on your voting based on the theme of the story (instead of its quality). I appreciate your opinion nonetheless.

4895409 Is this story really your favorite clopfic? I've been told that it doesn't have enough rape. Either way; thank you for your vote of confidence. I was a bit conscious about my clop writing abilities. I'm ashamed to admit this, but I haven't read as much clop as I should have. There just wasn't enough time for it all. :fluttershyouch:

4895481 I like it because of the title and the plottiwst.

If you say so.

It looks more like entrapment to me. Everyone is king in their own mind, and dreams are wholy in the mind. By pulling him into a real world and not telling him , she did the equivalent of giving him a toy gun and letting him shoot zombies on a screen—and then punishing him for shooting real people. Maybe it took her longer to locate him, but what about contacting him first before doing what amounts to abduction?

Plus, group punishment is a disgusting practice. And we don't have even have to discuss the genocide of an entire planet. Incidentally, not her first attempt at that either.

4895527 Yes, plots and twisting is my thing. Also plot twists. :rainbowwild:

4895533 You make a good point. I concede. :twilightsmile:

somehow he has no fault, he doesn´t knew it was no dream right? I think as long it is not real, people can image what they like

So Luna's the reason for global warming?

You say that,while wearing a fedora.I have a strange suspicion that you live in your mothers basement.
It is certainly not the worst,yet neither is it good enough.Why write such a thing?

What a stupid story. Really, really just... ugh. I know it's not serious, but it's still stupid.

The writing itself is fine, but the whole idea of him actually being in the wrong for his dream-rape is way off. Should we all go to prison for murdering people in video games?

Luna is by far the most evil character in the story. Genocide for an accidental crime by a single person. If that was your intention, then I guess it makes sense, but the story seems to imply otherwise.

4896175 Offense bruh. I live in my parents house.

If it's a lucid dream, if he's dreaming about essentially raping a cartoon horse after a misunderstanding, then he should invariably be incinerated by the sun. Why would you even waste the mental capacity to make the dream happen?

4895858 He thought he was still in his dream. If you believe that his rape was not morally questionable then that would mean that there are no absolute moral values and that morality is only situational. Christians may disagree with your view.

4895997 Indeed. Global warming is no longer a mystery.

4896849 Why do you think that the story is stupid? How would you write rape?

4896956 Some people do, in fact, believe that video games and violent movies incite fractiousness in people, and would ban them if they could.

Luna punished the planet because she believed that the corruption originated from there and was infectious. In her mind, she was killing the source of the corruption. Butch was only a confirmation that her actions were just.

4897606 Some readers believe that what he did wasn't even wrong, despite the act being committed outside of the dreams. What you're implying is, that people should also be judged for their bad thoughts besides being judged for illegal actions they take.

There are people that would make rape happen even in real life. If you take away all the moral restraints from people and give powers of gods, than such behavior would probably occur even more often.

4897873 As long as it not happend to anyone else i see no problem with that, i don´t like it myself, but i think the people cannot help that they think that way.

The people which think or dream about rape, are maybe ill but they cannot help that they are born the way. If they really rape someone, that it is a bad thing. Who does it hurt if they just dream about it?

Like i said, i hate people who do this to a real human or animal, but i learned in my apprenticeship that people just are the way they are. I mean that something in their brain doesn´t work, they have some gene to less or something like that, and because of that they sometimes are not able to understand that this is bad and such thing. That doesn´t mean that they should not be punished.

Dream is just a dream, in Derpys Chase even if he thought it was a dream, he did a bad thing, i just think i had take him into a prison and get a psychologist for him. If he is cured, someone could observe him and that way he could live at least in another town. Don´t know if it work that way, but this are my spontaneous thought´s about it.

PS: I hope i could explain it better, i don´t want to think anyone that i am ok with rape, i just have other ways to ......handle it.


What the guy did was unforgivable. That's not the problem. The problem is how fucking stupid Luna is.

I hope Celestia kills her, by the way. Because how is she going to justify exterminating an entire race based off of one individual's actions? You do realize how dumb that is, right?

What if Twilight came to Earth and raped and bothered a human, and then we decided to nuke Equestria and wipe all the ponies out? Maybe I should write that story.

So, please, tell me this story isn't serious. Because it's really, really, REALLY dumb.

-Butch's speaking ends with exclamation points a lot. It's rather jarring and makes it hard to take him seriously if he's yelling that much.

-“Piss in peace in your own piss!”
That doesn't flow very well off the tongue. Like, try saying it out loud and it doesn't sound like anything anyone would say naturally. I dunno. "Pee in peace, piss puppy!" might be a better one liner. Plus alliteration =P

-Luna's monologue was a bit overbearing. It's one huge chunk of dialogue. Maybe throw in some body language to break up the monotony? I'm pretty sure Luna isn't the type to stand still when pontificating.

Luna's punishment is so hilariously disproportionate, so much that it makes this fic seem more comedic than serious. Actually, it reminds me of the time Bronystories' comment on Darf's Pinkie Pie Sucks One Hundred Dicks was used as an example on an essay as an example of the clipper community was a bad influence to the treatment of female Bronies (it took Bronystories' comment completely out of context. Fantasy vs Real Life.). Basically, using the actions of one to stereotype everybody. I was kinda under the impression that this fic might've been a commentary on those events.

As for the clop portion, it's kind of hard to see how Butch went from wanting to converse with Derpy to raping her, even if it is a dream. Maybe it would be a good idea to somehow convey his thought process here. I'm surprised he wasn't flinging around more accusations that Derpy wasn't real, so it wouldn't matter if they fucked or not.

The actual clop seemed pretty standard. Using the brick wall and tight confines of the alleyway was rather unique.

So to sum it up, there's a few technical aspects that could use some work. The logic could use a bit of tweaking, possibly, if the intention was to have a serious lesson. The clop was ok. Maybe read a few of the better clopfics on this site, preferably rape for this example. There's quite a bit more emotions that could've been expressed with Derpy.

An ok fic. Thumbs up.

As for the song game, Big Man with a Gun by Nine Inch Nails fits practically any rape fic:

4898839, 4899742 Thank you for the feedback. I really appreciate it. The points you made were all valid, and lead me to fix this story. I've probably edited this story more than 50 times before publishing, but there are still mistakes that I am simply blind to see until they are pointed out to me.

For anyone interested, the previous version of this story can be found here.

And 4899742, thank you for playing. With your suggestion you've won the Game 1. Have a cookie.

4898652 So, would you punish Butch or not? Is he accountable or not?

4905906 yes i think i would, but not like that, not to hard....like i said, he right punihment with a doctor for help. It is a bit difficult, since it was real rape and he just don´t knew it, but it shows that he had the capability of doing it again.

So...no need to banish him, a Dotor, the right punishment and another town would maybe do it, with someone who keep watching him for a while. On one hoof it was Lunas fault,(but not all of it) to just invite him without knowing him or speak with him, i mean she don´t right?

4907960 Luna tried to make contact over millennium ago. Connecting with a different world was her wish that she harbored for a long time. When Butch helped her out from this side, she wanted to meet this creature right away. If she waited to long he may have woken up and she'd have to wait for him to go to sleep again. In her mind, it had to be done right away.

She was to enthusiastic to plan anything. She just teleported him to the safety of Ponyville. What's the worst that could happen, right?

........i don't know how to respond to this...:unsuresweetie:

4908880 Maybe I can help with that. Here's a questionnaire to help you out with your responding needs.

1. What brought you to this story?

2. Did you find anything unique in this story? What was it?

3. What did you expect from the story compared to what you got?

4. What irked you? What would you do differently?

5. Was the story overall worth your time?

6. What was the thought process in your head when you finished this story?

rape is good !

4909774 1.featured box
2.derpy screaming rape before he even wanted to rape her
3.no idea
4.luna used a brick, i would have used a roundhouse kick

Login or register to comment