• Member Since 12th Aug, 2013
  • offline last seen 18 minutes ago

Bad Dragon


I write so that one day I may finally stop writing and be free, but these damn new ideas keep finding ways into my brain. I need to write more to keep up with them!

E

The pony has lost his memories. Left to himself, he wanders the streets of Canterlot. Despite his misfortune, he finds his ‘one and only’.

Why worry about amnesia when there is a wedding to go to? It’s not like the forgotten past can haunt.

[You may also enjoy the Youtube reading and mp3 download that are available for this story.]

Here's what the readers are saying about it:

I saw it as an allegory about how a desire to seek love clashes with itself. Those who seek love never stop doing so, and they hurt themselves and the people they love by doing it in the first place. It tells me that staying away from romance is the safe bet, and I approve. ~ Snakeskin Ducttape

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 56 )

Comment section minigames for the story Forget Love (anypony can play it in the comment section of this story)

GAME 1
Does this story remind you of a song that you know? If yes, post it in the comments in the following format:
- A link or embedded youtube video of it.
- Percentage of correlation (0% being an unrelated song, 100% being a song written exactly for this story).
- Reason why this song reminded you of this story or the excerpt of the lyrics that is similar to a scene in the fic.

Music for reading:
Above & Beyond feat. Richard Bedford - Thing Called Love — Correlation 60% (Lyrics)
And you will never know — My secret plan, how close we came — To share another road

James D. Stark - What It Means — Correlation 50%
You can't know what it means to be in love — because you don't love anyone (message to the changeling)

W.A.S.P. - Wild Child — Correlation 50% (Lyrics)
I ride, I ride the winds that bring the rain — A creature of love

Malison Rogue - This Lonely Road — Correlation: 50% (Lyrics)
Somewhere along this lonely road — I lost track of myself
Is this what I've been dreaming of? — This person I've become — Will I achieve something in life

Fair Warning - Real Love — Correlation: %50
Will I ever break that spell — that has seeled my heart so well

To/Die/For - Wicked Circle
— Correlation: 45% (Lyrics)
out momentary joy was a lie — And heavenly moments never last

Eyes of Eden - Pictures — Correlation: 45% (Lyrics)
On the wings of love tonight — Within this dream I'm living — I'd rather die than open my eyes

Leaves’ Eyes - Into Your Light — Correlation: 40% (Lyrics)
Alone but strong when you're in my sight — Your love hit me like a stroke — Take me with you

Ravenscry - Nobody — Correlation: 40% (Lyrics)
you'll always live — To wait and not to attain

The Symphonyx - Immortal Venus — Correlation: 40% (Lyrics)
Love and inspiration — I will take it from your eyes — Like an offer from the gods

Nightwish - I Wish Had An Angel — Correlation: 40% (Lyrics)
Greatest thrill — Not to kill — But to have the prize of the night — Hypocrite — Wannabe friend

GAME 2
Does this story remind you of a picture that you know? If yes, post it in the comments. You might win this game and your picture gets posted as a cover art for this story.

GAME 3
Record yourself reading this story aloud. Upload your mp3 to MLP: Audiobooks, for instance, and paste the link to your audio or video in the comments.

Reward: A spot in the author’s note of this story.

[youtube=youtube.com/watch?v=B1zCN0YhW1s]
My body was filled with scratches. Chest hurt. I felt angry and sad at the same time. I must had been in a fight, but I couldn’t remember any of it. In fact, I couldn’t remember anything at all. 22%

[youtube=youtube.com/watch?v=knLRZw80PuI]
I try to scream, but my gagging reflex doesn’t let me 17%

[youtube=youtube.com/watch?v=-s8UA3fTpds]
I look at my flank 100%

4541734 With your comment, you've just won a game on my other story, and had your name put in the place of glory.

This story was like a roller coaster, starting off a bit down, rising its way up to the climax, then tragedy struck. I like that in a story. This short but intense emotional roller coaster was great! Your satire was subtle enough to be noticeable (how many times has the amnesia card been played?) but not too in your face to make the story not enjoyable. Nice!

Possibly want to squish author between two fingers for being unbearably cruel to fictional character? :flutterrage:

Kind of so-so as a story. Mildly intriguing, but lacking depth. Kind of tacky to suggest that said pony has now been taken advantage of twice, somehow.

A good idea and premise, but it could have been fleshed out better.

~Crystalline Electrostatic~

4656476 Yes, you're right, the romance is lacking, but if I wanted to give it more time, it wouldn't be one shot anymore. Also, I intended for the fast romance to parody the Gary Stue's fast conquests. If I let the love birds get close through multiple chapters, it would be doing it right, and it wouldn't be a parody any more. It was a trade. :twilightblush:

Review by Authors Helping Authors
Name: Stranger
Grammar score out of 10, 10 being the best and 1 being the worst:8
Pros:
1. Good original idea
2. Good explanation of how the Changelings are so developed
3. The ending is very interesting
Cons
1. Even though the pony lost their memory, at least try and detail their appearance like their color or at least their gender.
2. The romance seemed a bit rushed.
3. Work on your pacing, it was a little to fast
Notes: As I said before, add a little detail to the surroundings and ponies in the story so it is easier to envision. Also remember your pacing. Maybe go back to the romance part and slow it down a bit.
Enjoy your review! Please help me out by reviewing my story, A Hoof Heights Story: Sapphire Shores and Jill Jewel:twilightsmile::twilightsmile::twilightsmile::twilightsmile::twilightsmile::twilightsmile::twilightsmile::twilightsmile::pinkiehappy:

4786931 Thank you for your review. I enjoyed it.

You're right about the romance being a bit rushed. However, it should be noted that all the romance was merely an answer to the stranger's question, "Why is there so much love in my eyes?"

Now, you see, this pony is very talkative. He could tell you an entire chapter on his black coat and red mane alone. Alas, he was in a hurry. Despite not wanting to dismiss the stranger, he also did not want to be late to his own wedding to his 'one and only'. The stranger had similar plans, and would probably also get bored hearing a whole novel as an answer to his simple question.


Would it please you, if I reviewed your two chapters (2,390 words) of The Sea's Pearl?

Or I can do all 5 chapters of it, if you also give me feedback on either one of my other two romance stories: Discord Sits on Celestia’s Throne (2,487 words) or this one shot (4,431 words).

What say you, friend?

4794950 I'll do Discord sits on Celestia's throne sometime in the next few days, probably tomorrow.:pinkiehappy::twilightsmile:

4796115 I reviewed all chapters of your story The Sea's Pearl. I hope you like the review.

This story gives me the chilies

Hey, Bad Dragon.

I don't understand you. :trixieshiftleft: Sit down, tell me your tale, so I may understand.

5607294 Ask, and I shall answer. What is it that perplexes you?

5607303 What is?

That is the question. What is Bad Dragon? Are you a writer? A reader? Are you really that "bad", or do you just assoicate yourself with dragons? Do you like Spike?

5607316 I do like dragons, but that wasn't a deciding factor when I chose my avatar.

It was the look that caught my eye. That piercing focus that wants to see past the BS that resonated with me. It wasn't even a choice. It called to me to be my avatar.

I wish to be a reader, but I feel guilty for not writing, so I go and stalk MLP forums that, for some reason, don't make me feel guilty.

The grown up spike resonated more with me than the regular one. That unstoppable drive that he experienced. I do also like the cynicism in young spike, though.

My name was sex shop add inspired, but it goes beyond that. If you see me as bad, I know that it's genuine. If you give me adoration, I feel dissonance and a burden of expectations. I want you to hate me, and maybe someday, I may surprise you.

If you have any more questions, send them my way, and I will answer. Besides that, you may also enjoy My quotes and Ask me anything thread.

Reviewied story for the Goodfic bin: despite me personally enjoying this story, there are a handful of technical issues that get in the way. I've included details here.

If you ever revise some of this story, do give me a call, because I really did think this was a nice set-up.

5754057 Thank you for your review. I really liked it.

I enjoyed this. I liked the unexpected way you used Daring Do, and I thought it fit the story. I was also surprised that the blank slate pony didn't end up being the changeling. That made the twist at the end even more gut-wrenching.

Great cover art, too. The only thing missing is a "Sad" tag. :raritycry:

5918493 You can thank 5754057 and his review for my inspiration to add Daring Do into the picture. I was a bit unsure about making her abandon the life of adventure. It was risky to discard her core aspect. I'm glad to hear that you think she fitted. I can now put my fears to rest.

I didn't realize that OC was a candidate for being a changeling. What was the indication that he might be a changeling?

The cover art is actually a motive from a shirt that you can buy online. I was actually considering making it OC's cutie mark, but decided against it. It would be too straightforward.

I didn't put the sad tag because sad is reserved for stories that are drenched in sadness from start to finish. This one actually has a pretty positive middle part. Finding your one and only can't possibly be a sad thing, right?

5919433 I can see that viewpoint. I guess I take less of a "drenched in sadness" view toward whether Sad makes sense. I feel like one overall effect of the story is to make me sad, so I feel like it would fit.

I can also see the viewpoint that Tragedy gets that job done, but I take more of an old-school view about Tragedy being for fatally flawed characters bringing about their own undoing.

5923847

fatally flawed characters bringing about their own undoing.

That's what I was trying to portray.

OC was naive. He thought he was at the top of the world. When he accepted his ignorance, he paved the way to the demise of everything he held dear.

He is embodiment of tragedy. It's the main aspect of him that the changeling uses for his own agenda. Being lovable was his bane.

The sad story stays sad even if you remove the ending. If there was no changeling, this story wouldn't be bitter.

Interesting story, kinda seems like the romance was forced, but not to say nobody's exempt from doing that the first time around. Besides that, I like everything else: the amnesia pony could be something more like part of a sad backstory of how he lost his memories and maybe even regain them. Caring Doo almost made me say:'' Daring Do? Really?'' But It just sounded like that. :scootangel:

6040389 I had a message to tell with this story. There may be forces at work that we're not aware of. What feels nice may be, in fact, sinister.

And yes, Daring Doo is in this story, but she had changed her name to reflect her newfound purpose.

All I can say is 'dang'. This was very interesting, why I even got a bit of a biology lesson thrown in there. :rainbowlaugh:

Um...okay?

7326987 Feelings can make us believe with certainty. Yet, reality isn't phased by our emotions. Conviction based on feels is not the correct measure of reality. When one becomes complacent, one loses touch with the real world.

Well kinda odd but very intresting I liked it

Well...wow.
Geez.

Looks interesting. Will check out later and let you know how it is:twilightsheepish:

Whoa! Can't believe I didn't get to this before but it kills my story by a mile(And that's still an understament:facehoof::twilightoops:) I'm going to list off the good things on the story.
-Starts off slow but gets better once you get into it.
- The satire. I would have missed it had I not looked carefully. That itself was awesome.
-Best original story I've read in some time.
-The explanation of how the Changelings are made is great.
There is more but it wouldn't do this story credit.
My only complaints are...
-Romance is rushed (but then again, I'm not one to talk and it's not for me so...)
- Having amnesia is unfortunately very common but that's not a real issue with me.

Overall, I'm jealous and surprised about this story. You earned a like and a favorite. I hope to write something like this someday(assuming I become popular)

That twist at the end was dark...damn. So who is he gonna hook up with next?

Still can't get over that ending...

7499106 You could also ask: Who has he hooked up with before?

The ending is only dark if you look at it from pony perspective. The changelings are gaining ground. It's only a matter of time before they establish their utopia. Then again, it's a very open ending, and no plans for a sequel currently exist; unless you want to write one? :ajsmug:

7499199 Nah :twilightblush:
I don't know how to continue a masterpiece like this! Thanks for the offer anyways! :twilightsmile:

OC Doo I can't tell if this was just a combination of the words 'Odd' and 'Caring', or saying that the main character is an OC. Or both.

7830931 The main character is a black&red OC. As for her spouse, she's Daring Doo who put her adventures behind her and decided to help ponies instead. Thus the name change to Caring Doo.

You forgot a full stop after the void in my mind
the void in my mind

You done both words that that could instead of that could :trollestia:

8408637 Thank you so much for your comments. I fixed everything you pointed out. I love it when people tell me what irks them in my stories they read.

natural to me. I couldn't see

8410275
Ok but still reading I will look out for some more

Wrong
forgotten struggles?

Correct
forgotten struggles?”

Or where the speech marks go

There is only one you forgotten that I told you before

Wrong
would assaulted nobody

Correct
would assaulted no pony

So if her name was Daring Do the it should be Caring Do not Caring Doo because from her other name she had it had one “O” in it not double “Oo”

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