• Member Since 17th Aug, 2014
  • offline last seen 6 hours ago


Not much to say about me. Got a few stories on fanfiction and thats about it. First story was recieved well and I've only gotten better as I've made more.

Comments ( 440 )


This coming from a guy who doesn't read the prologues. You went into detail had a great backstory, perfect.

I'm also a guy who tell others stories my way.
Like um...

When the The Hellhound kills the rogue alpha manticore. He looks towards the fillies and warns them not to tell anybody about this.

Then scoots becomes a smart Alek and says "he said anybody not Anypony so it's ok" (add dumb person voice)

Sweetie doesn't like the idea and says how anybody applies to all species, apple bloom calls her a dictionary and sides with Scoots.

I can't think of anything else, this being a prologue and all, by what I think is mid way to your story I add/change my remixed story and see how yours goes and see if I'm as good as the writer.

I use this as practice for my stories, you should try it.

Sorry for the rambling.

Good story would continue reading 9.99/10 (because nothing is perfect)

I find it a little weird that he's jumping in to save the fillies when he has most definitely seen it hundreds of times by now since he's been there ever since
before ponies became the dominant species of the planet. let say for roughly 1500-2000 years and that's probably short by a quite a few
centuries.basically your saying that no one has wondered into that forest and died or almost died in over 2000 year....But let's say he hasn't been in the
forest for those 2000 years lets say he wandered that entire time(albeit unlikely considering the fact he said he had collected all human history, technology,art,music, misc.) There is practically no way he didn't see a lot of dead ponies so why is he saving them this time? ....... Well this is me just saying it was really dumb way to force the story so you can progress it in this fashion...It might have been better if they stumbled upon the entrance then (put whatever here) and then The Elements or Celestia and Luna show up or somthing like that


Im enjoying it, don't over think it the story.

He's a not fallout equestria writer, h'es the average Joe like the rest of us

I DEMAND MOAR AND LONGER CHAPTERS!!!!!!! if thats okay with you

There's a few spelling errors here and there, but good chapter in all.


Not bad, i love it.

OMG this looks as if it will develop into such a good story!

Wonderful but time will tell if he pussies out of this story or keep making it awesome

Oh dam, I feel bad for him, last one of his species and your immortal, WITH all the horrors of war, im suprised he hasn't gone insane yet

More please:pinkiecrazy: also when should the next chapter be out

This has potential to be a fantastic tale. This is the first thing I've read that incorporates humanity into equestria without ruining the story or making it suck. I can't wait for more.
P.S you get ten awesome points for making a Halo reference :P

Could use a solid proofread and I am really on the fence about the character, but I'll like/watch it for now. Whether or not I'll keep up will depend on how it fleshes out...we'll see.

So he's that last human and lives forever?

So it's kinda like in infection where the last man standing gets a shield

4893556 I think, he using a new kind technology make him became god.

There is only one thing that bothers me about this story. If it is an anthro Equestria then he would just look like a "pony" and wouldnt be a creature as they call him in the story. Other than that this is a great story and i cant wait to see where it leads.

4894591 He has 5 fingers and feet, while the anthros have 4 fingers and hooves.


Okay, let me tell you, you're story is amazing. It's quite a great story with an interesting plot! I haven't seen one story like this in my whole 3 years on Fimfiction! Good job, good sir. :pinkiehappy: :pinkiesmile: :rainbowkiss: :twilightsmile: :twilightsheepish: :applejackunsure: :duck:



Some blindingly fast pacing...

Just looking at that picture reminds me of that damn haybusa song

You need to slow down. The pacing is all off, but the story is good. I recommend rewriting some of this first and add more words. Like... 3000 or something. Just slow down with the chapters and write more. I can wait 10 days for a chapter as long as the chapter is good.

(Oh, and this is constructive criticism. I'm not doing it to be a dick! I am trying to help him! :trixieshiftleft:)

Y the blue blazes does he not get a choice in the matter he is not a slave he is an eon or so old being that dates pre all other races on the world and they say to possibly the most powerful being on the earth "you will bend to my will because I think I am superior to you" :twilightangry2::twilightangry2: why! Why does he let himself be pushed around! They have absolutely no hope to defend against him in the case that he attacks them! The only reason they won was because he was bleeding heavily and wasn't fighting them. Basically they are royal f****d if he decides to attack:ajsmug: point made

Hey guys I love all of your comments and suggestions so thanks for that.
I just want to make it clear to Nectarina that he is being complacent because he is just being nice. Now when he gets angry is when it really hits the fan. So just wait for that to happen and you will understand.:twilightsmile:
Till then keep them suggestions coming! Anything to help me improve I will take!

saw the img and I couldn't help but think " Pfff, add that to the list of 'shit I haven't seen in seven years'"


Wait wait wait THERE

Did you see it that was me giving a like!

It's a very Rare occurrence

The story is good, but you DESPERATELY need an editor dude.

I could do it if you want :)

There is nothing wrong here:derpytongue2:

First off I'll say that this story isn't bad. Decent premise -- if not actually breaking much new ground.
I would like to say that as some others have said the pacing seems quite fast. I'm normally opposed to too much introduction "pussy-footing" around as some are wont to do but this is a bit quick. I'm hoping you slow it down a notch once we get past this introduction phase (should be soon?).

Also some spelling typos here:
Then with a clap of my heads I say in fake cheerfulness,
I'm assuming this is suppose to be hands, unless he went full on ettin on this guys, or he's *really* well endowed.

I still kept in tough with the girls through letters so there was no problem there.
Assuming "in touch" here.

Her skin was such a dark grey it was almost black and shinned with the residue her species produced naturally
Assuming "shined" here? like here skin is glossy? On a note, apparently "shinned" is in fact a word, means to climb up something using your arms and legs to grab it (think like a native climbing a palm tree or something).

Mores please? Also, where did the Idea for the armor come from? Sorry If I seem like an idiot.

Just gotta say this: Please don't tell me he's going to be following every order w/out question and calling them 'Your Highness', 'Yes My Princess', etc. just because he's Captain of the Royal Guard when he didn't even get a choice in it.

No he's not. He actually thinks for himself he just wants to make a good impression.
He is actually pretty rebellious in some instances.

4900811 Last one should actually be 'gleamed' or 'shone'.

Shining got his ass handed to him on a silver flaming platter

4900915 Oh yeah, point.

Maybe glistened? As if her skin looks wet?

Love the story, I did notice some spelling errors however:

"It had been two days since my big reveal and now I found myself on my way towards Canterlot castle to start my new jobas captian of the royal guard."

Job as

"Yes that is all good but we think it is time for thou to meet thou's knew troops," said Luna as her and her sister got up and began to lead me to the guards training grounds.

New, not "Knew"

Can't wait for the next installment :pinkiehappy:

4901080 sir i asked for medium-rare not rare

4900812 Its from the Halo series, and I recognised it instantly from the picture.

Mm still needs a solid proofreader and the pacing is blindingly fast [large time-skips in there with little to no development before or afterwards] but other than that, it's an okay fic. Amusing enough for a quick read and I'll probably follow to to completion, but as is that will be the extent of it for myself.

EDIT: Shining Armory getting rolled on was incredibly satisfying and honestly nets a favorite completely on it's own, without the rest of the fic. ;O

4901689 I agree. "snaps beak back in to correct position"

Anyone willing to proofread let me know. I only want to get better.

4901893 I would love to proofread for you. And was actually going to ask if I could

Alright then Dark Tendencies I guess your my proofreader then.

Lemme know if you ever need another proof reader. Because I've got nothin else to do an I really like this story.

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