Sir_Elton_lunar
Joined 9th Jun, 2014 ·
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Great first chapter. Please keep this story going because the premise is actually promising.
Most excellent.
Very compelling.
You have a few minor errors with your grammar, such as using 'there' when you needed 'their', and so on, but nothing to make it off-putting in the slightest.
Scars from falling of a bike does not fade, my face knows that.
4537532
I know what it's like to get scars from a bike.
Yeah I know, but it just adds to they description.
4537541 I just wish I would have been older when I got my first scars from a bike, and second time :/
4537552
Yeah. It looks bad when the scars grows with the skin.
4537584 tell me about it , surgery when I was 0,5 years , those three scars is very hard to miss nowadays :/ (or that a nice chunk of my right leg is missing , but it doesn't affect me tho)
4537619
Yeah, I have too many scars to count. The worst is the scars on my face.
4537631 yeah , you just stop counting them after a while... Ppl just complain over their small scar on their hands, you have the rights to complain my friend, not those with a tiny scar on their hands.
4537725
Yeah, they don't know the feeling of have to live with the pain bigger scars pose.
4537732 normal ppl: paper cut . SOMEBODY CALL THE AMBULANCE! Me hitting my foot with the blunt part of an axe ( I don't know how it happened , I just failed , bad) oh, well, better ask mom what to do...
this is gonna be good.
4537842
Let the chaos commence!
Hmm interesting.
4537725 my legs makes peaple thing that I'm a war veteran from the sheer volume of scara there
4538430 I don't know what that would be like, I probably wouldn't be to bothered tho. (On my right leg under my knee, it looks like the a decent amount of muscles are missing, but that might be cus a bone was missing there since my birth) but do you mind if I ask what happened?
4538430
When I was younger I was attacked by a dog, and after the countless stitches, My face now makes people think that I was born like this.
Wow! 50 favorites in less then 12 hours. So what do you think guys? Did I do good?
4539029 you made good man and I like that world of yours
This story has potential, a few grammar errors but it's ok
4539282
Thanks. I made it off the top of my head.
Your telling us to shut up!? WELL THEN
My skyrim senses are tingling
4539685
Lol. Yes I did get the ideas from there.
4540461 me tooooooooooo!!!!
4539292 agreed, feels just a bit rushed in a few places but this story certainly got potential.
keep it up and i will stick around and enjoy it.
4538465 Legacy of a mispent youth
4537769 *cough* blunt part of the Axe *cough*
*cough* papercut *cough*
Hunting knife, across the back of my fingers.
Funny thing was I only noticed when I saw the bloodstains on my pants.
4542980 *cough* bone missing in my tight legg upon birth *cough* had metal attached to the bone the first half year of my life, infection. Then a surgery when I was six months , moving bones from my left leg to my right leg, taking a slice of a bone and let it grow to a normal bone in my left leg . Started taking shots in le leg every night when I was three, ends when I stop growing... (Syringes?)
4541084
Lol, I love this so far!
4543050
Kay, you win there. Closest I've got is a fuckup with razor wire.
4543166 but the scars caused to our bodies is nothing compared to the scars caused to our souls. Never.
4543275 oh god, I got multiple lacerations on my left leg over twenty bucks. My pants and shirt (which were ruined) cost more than that.
worst scars for me sk8 board acciedent front tooth= full out of gumline and i also burned a hole through my palm when i was 5 hand hasn't worked right since then
4543320 yeah, that stuff leaves bunch of scars , kind if have a self made cutie mark, heh. ( right side) (are we seriously arguing over who have most scars here ???)
Sorry this all started when we first talked when I first posted it.
Oooooooh, that latest comments were about scars. Lemme post the irony.
I used to be that one person who was too smart to do anything small that had a good risk of injury, but crazy enough to do maniacal things that accompanied a very high risk of injury. One such incident involved me breaking a mirror....by falling on it, almost bleed from the major artery in your calves. Now I have only been cut and left a scar with things that are made from glass or mirrors.
I just need to stop underestimating the damn clear and reflective objects!
Why is it always Rainbow that randomly assaults strangers? Especially bleeding strangers.
Also, the guy needs a consultant on appropriate clothing for assassination. Black and red make it look like you're either a middle class teenager angry with your parents or an assassin. Or a cosplayer.
4545696
That's like trying to argue that a gun-toting man going into a convenience store is A-okay, because he's not hiding his gun. Hiding or not, a gun is still capable of causing some chaos.
Speaking of scars, I used to have a pretty nasty one going over my eye. It sucked at the time, but I kinda wish I still had it now. It'd be pretty badass, IMO.
4545717 thats oddly specific
Very, very good, but needs an editor (Me?
). Or for your editor to take another look. Aside from that, great start! I like the beginning description. Fast-paced, yes, but not too fast. A little unbelievable, but... Well, long story short, I can believe it because nukes.
Other than that... Nice!
And of course, since we're all about scars here.. Mood music!
Also, why are his gloves platinum? Platinum is soft, heavy and shiny. And a shemagh(it's a real thing goddamnit, look it up) would work better than a hood for face hiding.
Rainbow needs her ass kicked so damned hard that all of her throughout the multiverse gets some brains
Dude this story is just amazing keep it up
What is it abut that mane 6 and not having any common..... and there's the answer to why they don't common since! It's to blasted UN-common.
Especially with ponies
4552967 ponies in a lot of stories are racist and quick to judge, you think they learn after awhile but they don't. It's quite odd don't you think?
this is related to Assassins creed, following you