It's been 12 years since my wife died. It has been a hard time without her here, but one thing will always be my lifeline. My little angel Emma. She is all I have left in this world and there is nothing I won't do to make sure she's safe.....nothing

Chapters (1)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 7 )

Someone just became a pawn!

That is a pretty strong start. you have my attention and will be following the story.

One thing though, Can you try to add some space between paragraphs as it felt a bit to much like a large wall of text.

It was a good thing she was in Ponyville for Nightmare Night or else she would have fried the alien alive.

I think this line needs to be fixed, other than that a good start.

Yeah I feel the same, but I didn't know how it would work.
I'll go ahead and try to fix that, thanks:twilightsmile: .

7427808 very good and interesting I would love to see more! :pinkiehappy:

It have potential:ajsmug: but you may need to be careful with where the story is to going.:twilightblush: I mean you don't want to cut the wrong wire now, do you?:pinkiecrazy:


Come on man, this story was going so well and it had such a strong start too.

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!