• Member Since 17th Aug, 2014
  • offline last seen Last Sunday

Nicranger


Not much to say about me. Got a few stories on fanfiction and thats about it. First story was recieved well and I've only gotten better as I've made more.

Comments ( 17 )

I like this. Can't wait to se what our assassin prince will do next. Keep it up:twilightsmile:

Maybe you should add your story to the group called "the good prince" to find your Blueblood lovers.

Aside from that...

Great plot you have there! Aside from the many missing punctuations, it's an awesome story for a Blueblood supporter like me! :pinkiehappy: keep it up! Can't wait for more!

~Firestreak

Ps, liked and faved

2x

this gonna be gewd :pinkiesmile :
I'm loving it already :heart:

Nice. Assassin Blueblood sounds badass.
You switch between present and past tense.

2x

5354650
that's just my way of saying that I'm new here,anyways keep up the good chapters,can't wait for the assassination:pinkiesmile:

Im sorry to say that I spotted a lot of grammer mistakes, and recommend (unless you do this already) that you carefully read through your chapters before publishing them. I also feel that some scenes could be written better, such as the line "so I wasnt able to attack him then." sounds a bit basic and could be improved by saying something like "so I wasnt able to take him out then."
I also think that you should try and distance yourself a bit from the assasins creed series. I get if you want to homage or parody them but its always good to be original, and I sense a lot of original potential here.
On more positive notes Im liking the story and hope to see it go to more creative and interesting lengths. I like the version of Blueblood you've created (though I dont see why he has to act like an asshole to throw off suspician. He could just act like a complete pussy).
I look forward to future chapters.

As has been noted already, you do have quite a considerable amount of mistakes. If you would like, I could be your proofreader/editor.

:pinkiehappy:Instant fav and like, I will read it when I get the time.
:pinkiecrazy:I love stories with Blue Blood being a good pony.

5354824 he does this to maintain his "I'm royalty and any thing else is nothing short of dirt," image to keep from being suspicious looking to the other royalty.

i came across this story and the premise hooked me. while reading it though, the occasional grammatical error here and there took me out of the experience. it got to the point that i couldn't keep reading. i'm going to give it a positive rating because the story idea is interesting and worth reading, but i'm not going to keep reading. sorry man.

2x

5357436
same here and I also fav it because I like assassins and disguise to protect characters

Where is the second chapter?

Why is this dead it sounds good

more please

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