6383586 It'll definitely be in the top 5 but I don't think it'll be out Chase have you seen the things word count it's ludicrousdicrous.

6417212 What you've never read project Horizon before I don't know if I should warn you to stop or encourage you to keep going I'll just warn you that this will probably be one of the most outrageous things you will ever read and leave it at that.

6403386 If you don't like them my mistakes cost a life and so I have to be worthless and I deserve to die then you should probably stop reading because not only does that never go away it gets worse you have multiple characters all going through that exact same crisis literally to the very end of the fic.

Man, BJ has a hard road ahead of her, all of this shit she has to go through, all the shit she deals with.
Goddamn, she has it rough, but she's trying damn it, and for that I admire her. Fucking A man, fucking A.

This was a damn good chapter well done, I'm glad I read it, its fucking awesome! fuck this story is amazing.
And there is still more to come... I loved that ending, it was sweet in a way.

Good show!

6403386 cause being thrust into a kill or be killed world and then causing the death of an innocent filly who was just raped, is totally a meh moment. She worked through killing her first raider fine. but causing an innocent to die and going on without a care is monstrous.

There was a strange glass booth near the ceiling, and I was stunned to see two earth ponies sitting behind a counter of controls and looking down at us through their thick shades and strange metallic helmets studded with rainbow LEDs. I heard the shouts approaching the club doors and looked up at the pair. “Can you help us get to the roof?” I yelled up at them. They looked at each other. “Hello? Can you help?”

They looked back down at me and then nodded in unison as Pecos started to flood into Mixers. Suddenly, the speakers began to blast a blaring beat that stunned both the Pecos and me. The bizarre, rapid-fire music pumped into the club like some sort of sonic weapon; it sure wasn’t Sweetie Belle! Neon bars of light rose and fell in rainbow cascades behind their plastic casings, and beam talismans began to fill the space with flickering bars of dancing color. I looked up at the box, giving it a withering glare. This was help? The pair just grinned from ear to ear.

If you try anything… anything at all… I’ll blow your head off.

This guys an idiot. I really hope BJ hugs him then slowly makes a move on the detonator while smiling psychotically.

I slammed the door closed, knocking the twins’ SMGs into the hallway

She has her smart moments.

The barpony just blinked at me, then smiled.

The barpony is Caprice!

I was stunned to see two earth ponies sitting behind a counter of controls and looking down at us through their thick shades and strange metallic helmets studded with rainbow LEDs.

Daft Punk reference .
img09.deviantart.net/4a3b/i/2011/326/4/f/pony_after_all_by_purmu-d4gz1q4.png

P-21 led the way up the stairs as her giggles became hysterical laughter.

I really like murderously deranged characters.

Mini just laughed softly. “You’re a good pony, Miss Blackjack.” I felt a second unicorn’s magic on the gun.

If they hadn't been stupid, they all could have been friends.

“Congratulations. You’re a Reaper now. If you want it.”

Twice over, she killed Grogon too.

“I’m going to go wait for 69 to open. I need... something... bad.”

Rampage is not bad, but there is something stopping her from being good.

They better retrieve that revolver.

That's the first arc over and i'm already crying. I get the feeling rereading this it literally gonna kill me with feels

Ah, damn it all. Re-reading this is as hard as I expected. I always liked the Gemini twins, and the Zodiacs in general. They tended to be more interesting than the generic bounty hunter archetype would suggest. Also, cue the horrifically untimely I'm not an executioner moment. I always thought that moment was a great paradigm for Blackjack there. She had no qualm attempting to shoot them in the face earlier, but the moment they're helpless, helpful or begging for it, she just can't let them die.
Still, the re-read of this hits me hard in places I didn't really anticipate. You called him doofus again, you monster!

6426517
I was going to post this again anyhow, but since you asked, a completed epub can be found here.

6431458
Not naming any name *cough*Somber*cough.

6431458
Sorry; we fixed most of those, but unfortunately it appears that that one got through.

Also, unfortunately for errors spotted here, Somber has decreed that, once a chapter of PH has gone up on FIMFiction, it's locked and will not have further corrections accepted. Sorry.

6431795
Meh. What did I know at the time? Not that.

6432611 It's not so much that I'm missing the point. Aside from the fact I simply don't enjoy reading through angst, I have a lot of trouble empathising with that perspective.
All those grandiose themes about virtue, heroes becoming villains, the wasteland claiming your soul and all the other fragments of fanciful philosophy scattered through the subtext of Littlepip's narrative are all say a lot about her character. That doesn't mean she wasn't constantly whining.

While it might seem like a shallow perspective, I honestly think that she was needlessly overcomplicating things. All that stick to your virtue or you'll lose yourself and become a villain just sounds like a load of self-indulgent, guilt-driven nonsense to me. Her actions were her own, and no amount of corrupted kindness or the wasteland is taking you was going to change that. If she was going to become a villain, it would be of her volition, but she never entertained any inclination of such thoughts, was constantly performing selfless acts and continued to be horrified by the atrocities of the wasteland. And yet, every other paragraph later on was full of blubbering about all these imaginary influences were going to corrupt her. I genuinely believe that she's whining and crying over what is essentially nothing at all, which is the main reason why it's painful to read.

6433577 Blackjack whines a lot. It's a character flaw. While it's annoying, the bigger question is 'does she have reason to'? As she starts to realize what she's done, she has much more justification for her whining and angst. Denial was the only thing that kept her happy, and she's losing that. Now you might think that's poor characterization or good character development. If you're not enjoying reading, I'm not sure how to help you. Sorry.

Also, multiple times she's called out on it, so her friends are aware she's a whiner too...

6433955 Honestly, it doesn't bother me that much. I can appreciate the irony of that statement considering I've blathered on about this for days now, but I really have no problem with Blackjack's whining at this point in the story. Most of the discussion was involving Littlepip however, who whines over her virtues as opposed to Blackjack, who whines over her actions. Between the two, I can tolerate Blackjack's whining a lot more, because her actions tend to be something worth whining about. I hope it's not bothersome that I've inadvertently provoked a discussion on the original Fallout: Equestria in your comments page.

Blackjack losing her denial was positive character development in my opinion, actually. In these early chapters she really grows as a character, and being forced to face the reality of her decisions was one of the main driving points of that character growth. And yes, I do think the her friends' reactions to this particular trait of hers were particularly well implemented—although only at the beginning. P-21's "Not everything is about you, Blackjack." is particularly pertinent, and it's something I really wish she would have taken to heart later on. But, well, to be blunt, everything goes a bit downhill later on, even without considering the way Blackjack floods every chapter with veritable geysers and torrents of angst. But I'm sure you've already heard enough about that, and I'd like to go into this second reading with a fresh perspective myself.

In short, you don't have to worry at all. The story is spiffing so far, and I am much enjoying the re-read.

I put off this story for too long. And this has been so friggin worth it!! That ending was amazing!
Somber, I salute you!

I gotta admit, a lot of times I mostly skim through long stories to finish reading them faster, (Unless there's something really interesting going on that catches my full attention. Don't worry, this story has plenty of that) and I have to say, re-reading monster has been quite satisfying so far.

Reading 1-2 chapters at a time before waiting for the next update is a lot more satisfying and helps me to get immersed in the story better. There's so much details I missed when I first started reading this story. I'm eagerly waiting for the next chapter even though I already know what's gonna happen.

Here's a completely pointless question: Exactly how old are the main characters? I've always imagined Blackjack and Morning Glory to be in their early twenties, with Glory being a year or two younger, and P-21 being in his mid-to-late twenties. No reason to know, just curious.

Oh, and why did you change the name of the story?

I wonder when the alicorns are going to show up... Blackjack met one already at the museum... curious to see what plays out!

I'm a waterbender! Fear my sub-ocular surprise attack!

No, seriously, the end of this chapter was just fucking gold! I now have mad respect for P-21, nice work, Somber.

6437881 When I have chapters 17-20 uploaded to the new book, I'll post it.

WELCOME WELCOME TO FIMFIC BABY!

Not only is the story over but I can also downvote it, this is a good day.

Yesssssssss

My favorite chapter thus far. That ending was exquisite. I have a hard time seeing this story go for another 1m+ words, but I'm excited for each and every one of them.

6440305 you fool, it's not over yet. Not by a long shot. You should feel bad. That's a dickish thing to say and you deserve a slap to the face.

Excellent chapter. Love the fight with Deus.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! COOOOOOOOOCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKK! What Deus' final words should've been.
T

Skill Note: Melee (100)

You know what this means...

6600515
Aaaahhhh, the feelings this brings back, you're promoted to 'awesome stranger'.

Very satisfying end. Deus wasn’t much of a character, but as a force of nature style villain, he was great, which I can tell because of how good it feels that he’s dead. Poor Glory, why must the Wasteland shit on her so? D: I love how I knew instantly that those two had to be Gemini; on that note, I don’t think the emotional finale for them quite worked, given we only had one chapter to get to know them.

What I’m most happy about is P-21: I’m glad he forgave her, and doubly glad he didn’t forgive her for everything. Of course, then there’s that little bit about the bar mare: am I right in getting that she’s Caprice? Did you literally show us that tidbit of information by use of a tiny smidgen of body language? Because if so, that’s incredible.

Anyway, this is the end of book one, so you can find my thoughts here. I’ll let you know when I do further reviews, because this story is so unwieldy that you get at least one more!

I'm forcing myself to re-read all of this from the very beginning, and I don't regret a single inch of that thought. I'd gotten up to the mid chapter 50's about a year ago, and I felt I needed to go back and re-read everything to make sure I hadn't forgotten anything important.

Maybe it was just the music I was listening to, but watching Taurus, then Gem, and finally Mini being put to rest fucking put me to tears, even though we only knew them for less than a whole chapter. They may have been mercs, but they were a family. They didn't hunt out of vengeance, glee, or fun. They did it for the work, nothing personal. And when a bigger threat arrived that posed a threat both to Taurus' former target, and to his family, he ante'd up to the game, and stood his own ground. For that, I'll miss Taurus.

Gem and Mini may had been trying to murder Blackjack, but they weren't doing it out of glee, either. Granted, they had some fun with it, but in the end, they seemed more innocent than most of the mercs out there in the Wasteland. Seeing the reaction of her sister after seeing Mini solidifying in a wall, effectively sealing her fate tore me the fuck up. The same to Taurus.

Blackjack lying to Mini to assuage her fears in her dying moments. The lies we tell to the ones we care about, sudden or not, it strikes a pang of emotion to anyone, whether they've experienced it or not.

And Blackjack finally taking up the courage to end her pain. Something she couldn't do in the past, not even by a longshot. Fuck. If it's one thing I can always enjoy about this epic of a story, is the emotional trainwreck it brings. And it makes it all the more amazing to read. Every chapter seems to have something more to bring in it, and it always leaves me wanting more and more.

Thank you, Somber, but writing something that truly enraptures me on a different fucking level. ;w;

So, I guess Mini's not that good at the Kool-Aid joke, huh?

I'm forcing myself to re-read all of this from the very beginning, and I don't regret a single inch of that thought. I'd gotten up to the mid chapter 50's about a year ago, and I felt I needed to go back and re-read everything to make sure I hadn't forgotten anything important.
Maybe it was just the music I was listening to, but watching Taurus, then Gem, and finally Mini being put to rest fucking put me to tears, even though we only knew them for less than a whole chapter. They may have been mercs, but they were a family. They didn't hunt out of vengeance, glee, or fun. They did it for the work, nothing personal. And when a bigger threat arrived that posed a threat both to Taurus' former target, and to his family, he ante'd up to the game, and stood his own ground. For that, I'll miss Taurus.
Gem and Mini may had been trying to murder Blackjack, but they weren't doing it out of glee, either. Granted, they had some fun with it, but in the end, they seemed more innocent than most of the mercs out there in the Wasteland. Seeing the reaction of her sister after seeing Mini solidifying in a wall, effectively sealing her fate tore me the fuck up. The same to Taurus.
Blackjack lying to Mini to assuage her fears in her dying moments. The lies we tell to the ones we care about, sudden or not, it strikes a pang of emotion to anyone, whether they've experienced it or not.
And Blackjack finally taking up the courage to end her pain. Something she couldn't do in the past, not even by a longshot. Fuck. If it's one thing I can always enjoy about this epic of a story, is the emotional trainwreck it brings. And it makes it all the more amazing to read. Every chapter seems to have something more to bring in it, and it always leaves me wanting more and more.
Thank you, Somber, but writing something that truly enraptures me on a different fucking level. ;w;

You stole the words out of my typing. This was the most heartbreaking thing that I hace ever read. I have a new deep respect for Blackjack now. Love between siblings is a sacred treasure. When Taurus and Gem passed on, Blackjack didn't lie to Mini. They were both in a better place. The fact that Blackjack was sorry for Mini's situation and that Mini said she was a good pony go hoof-in-hoof with each other. When Blackjack finally put her out of her misery, that made me want to type this.

I'm slowly, ever so slowly making my way through this glorious piece of you've crafted, Somber. A friend of mine wouldn't stop gushing over it, back when you were finally finishing it up, and I can see why. It's an insane thrill to read, with insane highs and depressing as hell lows, and this chapter included both. You somehow made me feel bad about a trio of characters that were trying to kill BJ just moments before their death. Also, I'm glad she and P-21 got to have their little... truth-giving moment and such. She's changed a lot since leaving the stable, but I guess that's to be expected when the blinds are pulled from in front of your eyes and you're shown the truth of the world. Onward and upward!

~SolidFire

Ugh... (curse) me... some this is such an powerfull chapter.. i felt myself on the verge of crying over and over again.. and there are still so many chapters left to read... i truly applaud you for your hard work with the assistance of Kkat and many other people..

Deuses death reminds me of the end of terminator 1 when all of the fleshy parts of gon and he gets crushed

Am I the only who still feels like wasteland is no place for ponies cuz they say I am so sorry to sempony they killed BECAUSE they tried to kill them ? I would personally totally kill The Twins and send Green buck to tell his family about it and about every other fucker that tried killing Blackjack. It just might be my Virtue - Wanna do right things, have a code of honor and feel to guilt for my enemies as I crush them. (That's basicaly how it looks when i play Fallout after a while and everthings trying to kill me in my X-01 with plasma weapons and of course my drum fed shotgun with Fat man on my back.)

7679683 My friend, there is a difference between a game and reality.

Achievement unlocked!

Deus Ex Being Dead!

Kill Deus Ex

on a seperate note, R.I.P. Gem, Mini, and Taurus Zodiac and Rest in Pieces Deus Ex

"I walk a lonely road, the only one that I have every know..."

"Holy fuck! I don't know if you've been shot in the nuts! Spoiler it sucks!"

What a touching chapter. I feel this one may be a huge milestone, and the beginning of a new arc.
Can't wait to see how it comes together this time.

R.I.P. Mini & Gem.
(it was really sad to seen the ghost twins die. They really struck me as caring and honest. But definitely NOT innocent. Cute twins.)

And finally,does this mean BJ is finally a certified Reaper?
And does Rampage have this super radical regeneration thing going for her?

I mean...she got shot. In the face. By a shotgun!
Then snapped his brittle little neck.
But she got shot in the face By a shotgun!

What kinda ponies are these guys!

Oh, and R.I.P. Deus. (as in: Rest In Pieces)

7679683 I agree with Triple 333 up there.
There is most definitely a difference between game and reality.

I, too, would pobably try and dominate the Wasteland.
One up every mare and filly that tries to screw me over, then throw a party on their graves.

Get some slaves, and literally demolish every civilaztion in smoke and fire until I am the only living thing in the Wasteland...then use that silver bullet straight below me.

In reality though? Faust help us if something like this ever becomes a reality.
I already know for a fact that i couldn't do half the things to a real thinking thing as a virtual one.

Gimme a GTA Copper, I'll blow his head clean off his shoulders.

Gimme a real life cop? Hell no.something called spiritual and ethics.
I don't want any taint on my soul, and could never take another's life for any reason, even with a sufficient drive.

People say I'm the most passive person they know, but yet I have one of the most visceral and destructive imaginations I know of.

Ironic, eh?

8075050 Maybe that's part of why you'd be considered passive... People who understand the pain and horrors they're capable of causing, are either psychopaths who enjoy it, or the profit they can get from it, or people who hate the idea of doing such to another person, whether or not they avoid it entirely or do so only when 'neccesary' to preserve their own and other's lives.

I think of myself as the latter personally, I envision the horrible gorey things that could be done to a person, and it makes me gag, it makes me sick to imagine it, I even feel more sympathy and sadness for stranger's subjected to such horrors than I do for my other family who've died of old age... But if push came to shove, I like to think I'd be willing to accept the burden of a killer, if it meant being capable of killing those who 'deserve' it, those who would blow up children for not bending knee to their ideology, those who would stomp 'the little people' down under heel for the sole sake of personal profit or power mongering, and of course those who get off on Torture, physical 'or' psychological of people for inane worthless reasons like skin color, religion, or political beliefs.

Monster's don't have to be 'evil', they just have be conscious of pointing themselves at other monsters.

Talk about a fuckin' emotional rollercoaster.
This is only chapter 16...and there are no breaks.

“One done,” Deus said as I reached the level he was on, my shotgun loaded with slugs. I had no clue how I was going to stop him. I just knew I’d either do it or die trying. His eyes narrowed as he smirked. “Are you finally done running, cunt?”

At this moment, I felt like The Emporer. I kept thinking about Blackjack saying to myself "Do it. Fulfill your destiny..."

Mini just laughed softly. “You’re a good pony, Miss Blackjack.” I felt a second unicorn’s magic on the gun.

Hnnng!! Ooooow.

P-21's speech at the end was wonderful. He won't lie and tell her he will forgive and forget, but he can move on and accept who she is NOW over who she was THEN.

Ah that beginning scene, more art from memory.
img08.deviantart.net/b18a/i/2013/091/3/a/blackjack_and_p_21_by_8aerondight8-d601ny9.jpg

“Will you stop laughing!

As nitpicky as this is, I think this deserves a question mark.

m- moron

m-moron (that extra space is unnecessary)

That brought be back down to earth… well, closer anyway.

That brought me back down to earth… well, closer anyway. (earth = equestria but that is never lower case it seems, so.. eh)

“What did he say?” P-21 asked as looked over at the unicorn’s limp form.

“What did he say?” P-21 asked as he looked over at the unicorn’s limp form.

RIP U-21, you were on the wrong side trying to work with Deus, and bounty hunters don't give a damn.

and the memory of crashing on the Quik-Kare floor won out in the end.

No consistency with this shop's name is crazy.

“I’ve found a place over a club.

“I’ve found a place over at a club.

A bolt struck finally struck one of them and she screamed,

Extra 'struck' before finally

That Daft Punk reference, is nice.

I can't blame the Zodiac Gemini twins, but their little deception act in the suite to capture Blackjack killed U-21 after all. Reminded me of the twins in the hall in 'The Shining' movie. He truly was screwed, I guess. Sucks for P-21, the scrawny U-21 was just starting to change sides.

Those crazy Zodiacs..
RIP Mini, did she die by her own magic hand? Or did Blackjack have the guts to pull the trigger with her magic?
RIP Taurus, you can't compete with Deus in a fair shootout.
RIP Gem, a suicide attack with that bomb collar and dynamite helped to weaken Deus. After Blackjack gelded him beforehand, ouch. Bastard got what was coming to him being all high and mighty.

One red eye-camera focused right on me, and he pointed his cannons at my prostrate form.

The formatting seems wide on this sentence.

I'm glad P-21 and Blackjack have their ending scene to talk about what needed to be said. I hope she retrieves that revolver. As 6429764 mentioned.

7786199
At least she does not need to walk the hard road alone. She's by her friends. ...

And so ends Volume 1. It only gets crazier from here.

m- moron

m-moron (that extra space is unnecessary)

That formatting shows up enough it's probably better to just treat x-x, x- x, and x– x as indicating slightly different kinds of stammering/cutting off.

That brought be back down to earth… well, closer anyway.

That brought me back down to earth… well, closer anyway. (earth = equestria but that is never lower case it seems, so.. eh)

Generally "earth" = dirt/ground, as it does here. Planet's name is Equus in PH.

“I’ve found a place over a club.

“I’ve found a place over at a club.

I think she was indicating she found an apartment over a club, not a job at one. At least that's how I always read it.

I can't blame the Zodiac Gemini twins, but their little deception act in the suite to capture Blackjack killed U-21 after all. Reminded me of the twins in the hall in 'The Shining' movie. He truly was screwed, I guess. Sucks for P-21, the scrawny U-21 was just starting to change sides.

I guess, in some ways. But Matrix Reloaded is really where I think they're from:

RIP Mini, did she die by her own magic hand? Or did Blackjack have the guts to pull the trigger with her magic?

Her own.

“Justice,” was all I said. He looked at me and then nodded once. He reached down and took it into his mouth, teeth tightening on the handle.

Kill the bitch P-21, DO IT!!!