Ohey, is it time for The Infamous Chapter Six already?

6398669 Yup. Sorry it is so bad.

There are more of these,” she replied softly.

Lines like this (at least, given the particular context) are what helped Glory grow on me quickly my first time through PH. That, and she's got the whole Good Natured thing going, which I immediately relate to.

Work is a fun chapter that I'm particularly fond of, but Play is definitely another one of those memorable chapters that is firmly associated in my mind with PH. A mix of children's games, explosions, techsystuff, and dramatic hostile tension. I just generally dig it!

Three or so more chapters until we hit my favorite chapter of Volume 1~<3

6397219 whatcha expect dude when they haven't used their equipment in action for two centuries? no one alive in the pegasus enclave had done such a large scale operation.

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PLAY.

6398715 I disagree with that. In order to justify a military junta even in a faux democracy, the military would have to arrange specticals where outlying outposts were attacked and the military swept in to save the day... and asked for more money afterwards. But yes, I had issues with the way the Enclave were handled, which is why in Horizons, I explained why the death of Harbinger AND so much of the higher military at maripony resulted in a clusterfuck that crippled their ability to respond. 200 years of self interest at the top doomed the Enclave more effectively than anything esle.

Don't know if that worked for everyone, but I hope it did. That chapter is way down the pipe though.

Did you mean to have 5k words+ all in italics? Cause that feels like an odd formatting choice.

God... I remember this chapter, and it's just as soul-shattering as the first time.

One of the first chapters that really show just how screwed up the situations and choices Blackjack has to make. Plus... the first episode where she gets near killed and yet brought back... a few more of those than anyone really expects throughout the series...

LilPip's got nothin on the damage BJ's sustained.

6398771 shrugs. i didn't have an issue there. even if they had made up targets, well it would not make them any more prepared for war.
also their shit was over two hundred years old. they could maintain it but that does not equal building new ships. they did not have the resources to build more ships. everything they could use was below the clouds, and for a large amount of time even venturing down there would be fatal.

also that is only something that could happen when the world is NOT a post apocalyptic land. the land below was a hellscape so they could use that as a reason for control, rather than staged attacks. in addition such a thing would not work. post apocalyptic societies are conservative in nature, trying to sustain. they were better off than others in the Enclave but that does not change the fact they had the exact same limitations in comparison to those below.

6398777 nope, that was an import mistake. Sorry.

SPOILER WARNING

"A long time ago, I read a recursive fanfiction piece that started better than the story it was spawned from. At first it was fine and nice and you received an update notification and a smile would appear.
And then it had this scene where the main character was supposed to die, and the PoV would pass to someone else. It was a rape and torture scene.
Thing is, the writer seems to have sort of... fallen in love? With the character and while I can handle a rape scene, reading it written by someone that had a boner under the table was far worst -- don't ask me, but I was reading and saying, "What the hell is wrong with this guy?" His, er, enthusiasm permeated what he wrote. Kind of like when you have a feeling that something is going to happen? It's very hard to put the exact feeling in words, but I've seen most other people agree with me on this. The character didn't die and turned more and more into a uber powerful dudette with robot parts that could destroy a concrete wall with ease and repair themselves. The story has gone down the gutter, most people who still read it do so by morbosity to see the writer outdo himself in bad decisions (Only now after two years, the guy is finishing this monstrosity) because, to make it worse, the dude is good from a technical standpoint and some of the chapters are still genuinely enjoyable. It's his fetishes getting into the book that ruin it."

After being asked what story the writer was talking about.

"This thing [Project: Horizons] is 75 chapters long dammit", he continues, "I should warn you about the rabbit hole this is. As for now, Blackjack has been attacked in every way imaginable, killed three times, been raped, has had every bone of her body broken at least five times, has been cursed, her brain has been hijacked by someone to see what she saw, her soul was cursed, she has been accused of being the harbinger of doom, has had to fight an immortal being with around five thousand years of combat experience and regenerative abilities, has been cursed again, had a cerebral hemorrhage for eating moon dust by mistake, has blown up, has had her mary sue robotic body stolen to go to a healthy organic body that is somehow more mary sue and then got her body back which was mary sue-ized by the bad guy who stole it, acquired the soul of an immortal being, and that's only from the top of my head."

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I don't think anyone should be worried about that.

6399446 Interesting perspective. I disagree of course. The work is more pretentious than anything, and easily dismissable due to the poor writing discipline and planning I employed at the outset. The story is an attempt to deconstruct the messianic archetype and examine the question 'Can an individual save the world from overpowering sin, pride, and ambition. It is as if Jesus, rather than dying for humanity's sins, were instead locked up in a prison in general to suffer humiliation after indignity, forced to commit sin to counter sin, or simply allow themselves to be consumed in a futile gesture of virtue. This is Horizons, which sought to push the envelope of endurance and see if a person can lose themselves utterly and maintain their sanity, their identity, and above all, their virtue.

Opinions vary greatly as to if I succeeded or not, but I have individuals who like Blackjack, respect her, and enjoy the heaps of drama that make the story what it is. Dislike it if you wish. You are certainly free to do so. But I would make mention of one thing...

...spoilers dude.

(FANBOYING.)

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Tried adding spoilers to the entire comment. That was a failure on my part, sorry about that.

A proper response to that will be made tomorrow.

6398684
Come now. I love this chapter.

6385204
Eh. Real life's fucked up. Why wouldn't post-apocalyptic life be more so? Though, I getchu if it ain't your cup o' tea.

This story actually made me feel depressed at one point. As in, full on sadness, wanted to not do anything but lie in my bed and think about how shitty everything is. Which is good. Stories that that actually make me feel raw emotion are too far and few between.

But it was also sort of bad because it was a week before finals.
And a week before that I had gone five days with a total of seven hours of sleep.
25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m0c1clL2HI1qas19no1_500.gif
Those were probably factors.

Goddamn it, this chapter... good lord this was, dark.
But, Fallout: Equestria ain't a happy pace, now is it?
... is it bad I didn't cry? God I'm a such a desensitized bastard I hate myself Dx Trust me this chapter was saddening, and I feel sorry for BJ, that was a tough decision that I don't think even I could make. Gaaaawwwwd, why can't I sob ;v;

Awesome chapter we done man, this is going nicely.
Fucking broke buttons making me spell shit wrong Dx

Keep it up!
Can't wait for the next update.

6399603
Huh. It's nice hearing your take on your own work, although the literal "Everyone is Jesus in Purgatory" is really selling yourself short.

Pretentious:
adjective
attempting to impress by affecting greater importance or merit than is actually possessed.

I do not believe that your story is pretentious. It is, in fact, quite brilliant, and one of the more memorable reads I have ever had.

6398699

Well if you think it's a spoiler then I will delete it

6399603

The work is more pretentious than anything, and easily dismissable due to the poor writing discipline and planning I employed at the outset.

But the beginning is what all people love the most about your story. If you could ignore the splitting opinions when it comes to PH, you can see that people that are so against it now had been previous readers. A similar example of this, to put into perspective (and is admittedly colloquial) is the whole Star Wars prequel issue. Of course they are not entirely the same but you get the idea. Everyone loves the original trilogy, but then the prequels happened and people were infuriated.
I might as well just speak for myself rather than use somebody's explanation of why they don't like what happened to PH. Ignoring those "fetishes" that the quote mentions because I do not claim to know that, nor do I care. I do get the feeling though that you have fallen in love with your character - something I am almost completely against. If you try to start drawing, people will tell you not fall in love with one piece because, similar to this, you become biased as a side affect.
You say that "sins countering sins" is an idea within your story, but I get no feeling of such unfortunately. And without that all I got was a pony walking through insane obstacles time and time again. I got a pointless, redundant cycle that didn't end for thirty-plus chapters until I could take no more. My suspension of disbelief was completely lost, which is ridiculous considering the story.
In all honesty I love this story until a certain point, and that is the worst feeling of all. Holding the second half of PH to the high standards of the first half makes it fall flat to me. It was so believably dark and foreboding, yet still contained lighthearted and comedic scenes in the beginning. Something like Breaking Bad now has me respecting the necessity of comic relief within a dark story, but ultimately PH veered to far off from what it was in the beginning.
I most likely will read it again and stop at chapter 33 just to save my time and mental health. In the case I should ever write one of these stories though, this is a good reference to see what works and what doesn't.

Well. Fuck. That chapter was a bit more than intense. It's not too intense to drive me away from this story. It's pretty damn awesome.

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Kkat mentioned this chapter in her blog and I can see why this chapter had an impact on her. This chapter was crazy, insane, creepy, horrifying -- and it is awesome!

So far, I am enjoying this story very much! Well done Somber!

YUP. THIS CHAPTER AGAIN.

We encountered a box in the hall, a large metal cube with small pink hearts painted on each side. I couldn’t explain why, but I had the strangest fondness for the box.

THE CAEK IS A LIE!!11!!!1!ONEONEONE

such funny meme, wow hilarity

Reminder: this is a fanfic with a gang rape scene.

Awesome story

achievement unlocked: clinically insane

He blinked out of his reverie, looking… embarrassed?

P-21 must be gay.

I couldn’t explain why, but I had the strangest fondness for the box.

Don't get too attached, you're just gonna have to throw it into an incinerator. Companion Cubes never last long...

That someone thought of that, or that you figured it out

Blackjack being smart? The fuck? Must have had a rare Twilight moment.

Nice and dark, I like it. Though I did read through the long critique comment that bordered on heckling. I have always taken the approach of reading FO:E stories like heavily modded Fallout. The player character always manages to survive and slowly gets stronger till they are god-like. Then only a few enemies are really hard. Then the cyborg and android mods are added for shits. Least there are no trains raining from the sky spells or Thomas the Tank Engine.

Achievement Unlocked

Playtime's Over

Survive the Fluttershy Medical Center

Play?
Play!
P...play?
play...
I don't wanna play anymore.
PLAY!

A true horror chapter, and my favorite in the story. Nothing else after this is ever quite as good, but it comes close a few times.

I'd forgotten about the sadistic perk choice at the end of this chapter....

6406361 hehehe.....
Although android and cybernetic stuff would make sense if you assume the Collegiate to be somewhat like the Commonwealth (or more specifically, the Institute). But with a lot less resources.

6418911
I have no clue what you are talking about. Even though I own Fallout 3 and New Vegas, I have yet to play them. The main thing holding me back is I need to download everything on a crummy internet (and I need those texture mods).

I remember reading this chapter the first time. I had no problems at all with it until the end. Then I believe I got really loud, and perhaps threw something. I think it went something like...

"Oh, man. Oh, no way. Don't make her do that! Oh, no no no. Why children? Oh, Blackjack, oh no. Oh. Oh no. F-ing NO man! Oh, Blackjack, this is not fair. Aaaaaah..." Crash bam boom roommate screaming at me for being such a spaz. This wasn't the only chapter that ended with my roomie screaming bloody murder at me, but it was the first.

Le sigh. All aboard the Nostalgia train, next stop manic depression.

Having her sing "Hush Now, Quiet Now" while turning off the power was the cheesiest fucking thing ever, in line with some of Fallout: Equestria's worst show-quote-related slipups, but having P-21, Mr. Serious himself, join in flipped the dial on that scene.

Wow, that was horrifying.
Also, this story is so similar to Fallout 4.

6668043 Man, seeing your oh-so sarcastic nitpickings under almost every single chapter so far is really starting to piss me off.
How about you say something nice about the story for a change?

I have no problem with people expressing criticism, except when I feel they do it just for the sake of criticizing something

“Ugh. I am not a smart pony. Why do I have to deal with all this complicated shit?”

“Stop whining, Blackjack,” P-21 said from ahead.

“I am not whining. I am complaining.”

“No. I’m fairly sure that’s whining,” Glory commented overhead.

No respect. I tell ya, I get no respect.

ha ha! the references are doubled!

knowledgemktg.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/No-Respect.jpg

We encountered a box in the hall, a large metal cube with small pink hearts painted on each side. I couldn’t explain why, but I had the strangest fondness for the box.

Scratch that, tripled!

Shoot, Blackjack! “Play?” she whispered without moving even her lips. Shoot her! “Do you like my costume?” Slowly she tilted her head up towards me.

(1)

Shoot shoot shoot! Her mane fell aside, revealing two red lights for eyes. Her mouth wasn’t sewn in a grin. It was sewn shut! “I wanna be a unicorn,” she hissed. The gun shook in my magical grip as my focus wrestled with what was before me. “Can I be you?”

(2)

“Members of the Collegiate that have some academic interest in the site,” Splendid said calmly, without showing the slightest bit of umbrage. “We’ve tried to negotiate with them, but they’ve adamantly refused. You know the Collegiate.” Actually, I didn’t. “There’s nothing in Hoofington that they don’t want to study. So we need somepony to convince them to leave until my business is concluded.”

Curse you Institute and your Frakking Synths! Hey, at least I got some cool weapons off your stupid Synths. Hehehehehe

We encountered a box in the hall, a large metal cube with small pink hearts painted on each side. I couldn’t explain why, but I had the strangest fondness for the box. There was a little handle sticking out of the side. I glanced at the others, reached out slowly with my magic, and began to turn it. “All around the mulberry bush… the monkey chased the weasel…” Glory sang softly, and I couldn’t bring myself to stop her. I knew what was coming, but I was powerless to stop. When the note hit ‘pop’, the metal top snapped open, and out flew a pony. No… half a pony. The skinned front half bounced back and forth on a heavy metal spring, front hooves crossed as if hugging itself. Bony wings flopped around behind it.
“A pegasus?” gasped Glory in horror.
Then the box suddenly played the rest of the tune and there was a second metallic boing as its front legs popped wide and dropped three metallic apples. Through reflex more than thought my telekinesis flung them away as the three of us hit the deck. Silence. Silence. Silence. Slowly I lifted my head and carefully turned the nearest grenade with my magic. A hole had been neatly drilled in the bottom of each.

Baby Carriage Bomb, and a Grenade Cluster... That IS Cruel and Unusual.

more, Equestria knew peace and harmony under an autocrat. Why should it not be so again?

"Let's make Equestria great again!" Donald Trump, whatever the hell this stories time is set in.

This took a very creepy and dark turn...

I want more!

Blackjack, if it is any condolence, I would've killed them too.

Well damn! Its only chapter 6 and my heartstrings have been pulled already.. i teared up at the end pretty badly.. poor kids

NO THAT'S OKAY I DIDN'T WANT TO SLEEP TONIGHT ANYWAY

Is any one els going to talk about how one foal said fuck when bj asked what they wanted. This foal didn't want to exits virgin anymore

7485959
i would of too honestly. i know it is wrong to kill children, but they was never gonna get help likely. and they had been that way for so many years, suffering most of the time likely nonetheless. it might be wrong, but it is the right thing to do.