Blackjack, an incompetent security mare from the dystopian Stable 99, suddenly has her monotonous life turned upside down when the stable is invaded by vicious raiders. Blackjack flees the stable with EC-1101, with the wasteland in hot pursuit.
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Reminds me of Spaceballs movie end of "Hello my baby" scene..
Now Blackjack exits a memory orb in the most humiliating way yet, that's a record.
OH now I know the perils of an unclosed italics, the rest of the chapter is in italics..
This is still in italics starting from the last line.
I lay there should be right?
Fucking slavers, if it's not the raiders it's the slavers being jackasses.
Echo to Glory, fuck, not again!
75% to level up that is new, too..
6518034 Thanks for the typos. I fixed them. Transfering things from Gdocs to Fimfic is a nightmare. Each chapter takes an hour or two. It's a mess...
6518048
You are most certainly welcomed. It is certainly great to know the bug reports (ok bug mentions) gets noticed and corrected.
I can imagine transferring can be a pain. But caring is pain even through the nightmares, I salute that dedication.
(So happy I got a reply from you, an author of this fanfic especially makes me squee)
listen to this while reading a lot of the action points its pretty good
Now she really is Fallen Glory
...
I'll see myself out.
Whoooo what a chapter man, what a chapter... dat ending dough, hehehe... ouch.
Can I hug Scotch Tape? 8'D
heheheheh.
nice job!
You switched to complete italics somewhere around the middle. Otherwise, great chapter.
6519926 too soon. That was bad and you should feel bad. (i know i do. I made the same pun when i read that.)
Hmmmm, there is that crazy intelligence again.
vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/teamamerica/images/5/5b/Intelligence.png
So there was some infrastructure connecting all these high profile buildings together it seems. Possibly tied in with the Enervation fields and those weird coils.
Well, i don't know if this is a typo or not, but it was freaking funny.
Damn it, I can't take more than one chapter a day. Too much feeling breaking me apart on the inside and tearing my soul to pieces.
Really love that last scene. Maybe it's just that VisualPony scored it well, but it's well-paced and perfectly dramatized, very cinematic.
Also, I have to praise you: If you're going to include something dumb in a story like ponies playing a table-top RPG, going Deadlands is the classiest option. You are a gentleman and a scholar.
More praise: I'm glad you're sticking with the hilariously incongruent names for Steel Rangers thing. I mean, we get Fruit Salad, Radishes, Turnip, and then you give us Archivist Napalm Strike and it's like, yeah, you know what you doin'. :V
Other thoughts, uh... "Sometimes when you win, you lose" is about the bleakest thing that could be said. Rarity and Vanity was unexpected. I appreciate how aware Blackjack is of the Rampage-sized hole in their party. Turnip was hilarious. I assume the crazy hologram at the end is somehow related to the machine pony in the tunnels. I wonder, though, how it happened, because I thought Lacunae destroyed all the emitter gems. c.c Redundant systems?
6816937
Hope ya feel better!
6812636
(At least where seaponies are concerned. : ) )
I think I need to distinguish a couple things here. I really enjoyed the content of the interviews, and as you say it's something that we probably couldn't see in the normal course of events absent Blackjack eavesdropping on several fairly unlikely conversations. But they left a niggling feeling of off-ness where the narrative was concerned, because the perspective is normally so consistent and it's not clear when or how Blackjack heard them (and it strikes me as very unlikely she heard them in the gaps they occupied). There are other cases where this is done (like when digging Thorn's grave which is the main case I can think of offhand), but besides enhancing the tone of the chapter, they can also often be rationalized (as in that case) as a product of Blackjack's mental state at the time, especially given the use of other in-universe mental perspective-changers like memories and dreams. It's not necessarily a problem, certainly not a major one and in this case I think worth the content, but it's something I notice all the same.
6819219
Also nice about the scene is the incorporation of Blackjack's guilt and inadequacy, which is a good fit for so personal an action sequence.
Here I don't really understand you. Leaving aside that ponies playing tabletop RPGs was, I believe, a point in a couple of the better IDW comics (after this was published, so in fairness not providing up-front justification for it), why is it dumb? I'd personally say it's a better fit for the pony setting than, say, electronic/synthetic pop music. Non-unicorns, and especially earth ponies, playing, on the other hand, I could see as a real objection for mechanical reasons, absent something to indicate how the amount of writing, die rolling, and general fine motor skills wouldn't be prohibitive (even there, dice cups and long practice with mouthwriting in school/life in general bridge some of the gap).
6820073
Actually, I took the interviews as meta-narrative, like the show quotes and the time she spends expounding on various things at the start of chapters. It's just sort of there, fully fictional, not a part of what's going on.
Ponies playing RPGs isn't anything we've seen outside the comics. And for a story as generally serious as this one, it's a bit of an ill fit. I mean, at the very least, it's like including references to contemporary pop music or something. It just came off silly to me.
(And Deadlands uses cards, which we know ponies can use in this universe. :B)
Like war?
She should have taken out Lighthooves.
Glory... I constantly find myself not wanting to read the next chapter, but at the same time I must.
Also...is Blackjack the great great great great grand daughter of Rarity and Vanity?
You kill off glory.....I kill you...
I don't know, but I for one would have read that story!
that made me think of the "giant hermit crab" in Fallout 4: it looks like an abandoned van until it pops half-way out and attacks! fortunately, it's very slow.
that makes me think of the "tainted broadcasters" that Littlepip encountered in Canterlot...
Wait, she's alright with him being interested in another mare?
Heh, funny.
I like how Collar is demanding he has to stick to enslaving his family for survival, but then is willing to kill them and himself for simple spite less than two minutes later.
If it only ever was that easy. Sometimes doing the right thing is hard. Sometimes there’s no right choice. Sometimes the right choice can lead to a worse outcome.
Yeah there aren’t many victories in this story. And when there’s a one it’s usual something “minor” like saving one or two ponies from imminent death. A little thing to cheer up the readers after a very horrible thing happened and before the next very horrible thing is about to happen.
I’m trying to think of all the big victories for Team Blackjack where nothing bad happened and everyone (except the baddies) walked away happier. They can be counted on one hand: Dealing with the Rad Dragons, establishing peaceful relations between Riverside and the Sand Dogs and maybe dragging Dusk’s ass back to Glory after saving her from RedEye’s goons to make Glory feel better.
Then again, if you want more uplifting tale where the hero saves the day on a regular base, you clearly have chosen the wrong story.
And there’s the self-loathing Blackjack again. You know how some people’s motto is “Nobody matters but me”. Blackjack is the opposite: “Everybody matter but me.”
In Chapter 27 her moronic plan actually worked surprisingly well and it was one of the few times there weren’t any horrible consequences. So I guess the stupider the plan is the better the chances of success.
Okay I have not the slightest clue what that could’ve been. Some sort of monstrosity? A walking building like Blackjack thought? A pre-war machine?
At least there are no severed body parts this time.
A raider hideout is the worst place to take shelter from the rain. Then again, the group as a talent for always stumbling into the worst place possible.
A sex store called The Crop? Suddenly I’m reminded of the Ask Velvet blog. Was a pretty good one.
She’s learning. Good.
Vanity just had sex with the mare Blueblood is lusting after and he doesn’t even know it. Ouch!
But it’s well deserved. If he really cared that much about Rarity he simply shouldn’t have acted like a total prick. Heck, if he had apologized and acted nicer afterwards he could’ve still had a chance to win her over. Instead he behaves like he's entitled to have her.
Sadly, Rarity's taste in romantic partners is almost as bad as Scotch Tape’s choice of sexual partners. Sure, Trenderhoof was an improvement, but almost everypony is an improvement over Blueblood. Especially the Blueblood from this story.
I bet there was a huge market for memory orb pornography back then. Maybe even a black market where ponies would sell their memory of the sex act without their partners consent.
Yes, these are the weird things, this story makes me think about.
Hey Green Menace, that’s the pony who covered for you when you wet the bed! Least thing you could do is not be so obviously gleeful.
That’s called character development. Interesting to see how Glory slowly turns from a somewhat naïve mare who doesn’t get sarcasm, into a more confident pony.
And only at the cost of her Cutie Mark and one wing.
My guts telling me these are the victims of the "walking building" Blackjack spotted earlier?
Uh-oh
As I said before, they do have a talent of stumbling into the worst place possible.
If there would be hundreds of empty and perfectly safe buildings and one full of crazy murder robots, guess in which one the group would take shelter?
Really? Two hundred years (I guess?) and nopony before has discovered such a device? It wasn’t really that well-hidden, otherwise Blackjack and her group would’ve been death. It was just lying inside a box in the back room. There must have been some scientist ponies who tried to study Enervation fields or even just some unlucky Ponies stumbling into and discovering the source of the Enervation by accident.
I mean you could watch that place from the distance for a while. See if somepony goes in and out and how they look. You have an Alicorn who can fly, maybe have her find a high point with a good view into the camp?
Even if they are Raiders, it would be good to know how many are there and how well-equipped they are. Not point in throwing yourself at opponents that vastly outnumber and dying a senseless death.
Even for Blackjack that plan is stupid.
At least they aren’t the crazy cannibalistic type of Raiders. Otherwise they would’ve already attacked.
Nice try but Blackjack’s not the kind of the pony to ignore an injustice. She tried it way back Stable 99 and it didn’t really work. Consider yourselves lucky that Blackjack is always willing to give Ponies a chance to do better, otherwise you would’ve a bunch of really death stallions by now.
Well, looks like we’re still going to get a bunch of really death stallions.
It’s very satisfying to watch these pieces of shit being scared shitless by Security.
“How dare you judging me for using our females as breeding equipment, locking them up and forcing them to wear explosive collars? Cleary I’m the good guy here and caresdeeply about my family. Which is why I’m threatening to blow them all up!”
I wouldn’t call killing ponies who put explosive collars around the necks of their wives, mothers and sisters an atrocity. They decided to become monsters because it was easier than being decent ponies and now they paid the price for it.
Admittedly I really like the blue guy, so I’m biased, bin my book he’s a good Pony.
He doesn’t have the same urge the save the whole world like Blackjack does, but if the chip are down you can count on him doing the right thing. I can’t imagine him just letting some poor slaves die.
Still, his reaction is odd. All the captives were females and P-21 has issues about mares. Despite forgiving Blackjack and developing feelings for her, he's still afraid of accidentally shooting her. Did something similar happen when he was alone with the prisoners. A bad memory from Stable 99 that made him do something bad?
Great, now I'm doubting him.
Sadly, I still don’t really care about Lacunae. To me she that Alicorn that’s just there, makes magic shields and talks about the Goddess. Probably just me, but there’s nothing that makes me felt invested in her as a character.
Wow, the Dealer really has been awfully quiet for a while. How uncharacteristically for him.
The Fallen Arc feels like it was just another side encounter to hammer in how cruel the Wasteland is – just in case there’s anyone who still hasn’t gotten it – but I liked it. It was interesting to see a town of ordinary ponies doing something so monstrous. Blackjack failing to save any pony is also par for the course, but I’m not bothered by it either. Sometimes you lose, sometimes you don’t win.
And compared to everything else that happened in this story, I’m not even fazed by it anymore. Maybe if it had happened before the Stable, but now it’s really going to be hard to shock the readers with random acts of Wasteland cruelty anymore.
I know Hoofington is a bad place, but this “shoot first, ask questions later” mentality of everyone isn’t going to improve things.
After everyone else in this story acted like the Alicron accompanying Blackjack & Co. iis no big deal, I completely forget that the majority of ponies are still wary of them. Especially the Steel Rangers.
Good thing Rampage isn’t here. So there also was an out-of-universe reason why Rampage had to leave the group after the Colligate.
That talk was long overdue. The group really ends up in very bad situation and almost get killed nearly every day. Them finally acknowledging and accepting this fact and making the choice to stay and help Blackjack felt really necessary.
Let’s see how long this will last. This group is incredibly good at making dumb decisions.
So he panicked. That’s a relief! I was really worried some small part of him just wanted them to die because they were mares.
Oh, hello Goldenblood. Thank God ,you're here. I don't want to image a story where character would've to make their own decisions.
What was the point of him being in this scene? Why couldn't AJ and Dash being the ones who convinced Twilight that the development of energy weapons was a necessary evil?
Okay we got another scene showing him dying and trying to use as much of his remaining time to save Equestria – more parallels between him Blackjack – but we already knew that.
That sounds both horrifying and awesome.
The way I remember it Notshy was the psycho that beat up Security.
Ah yes, the classic Raider look. Nice to finally have some no-crazy Raiders acting like Raiders in this story.
Hey, it’s the guy from 16 Chapters earlier. Didn’t expect him to show up. Good to see the story isn't just keeping him inside a closet until the Enclave war 20 chapters down the road.
Poor guy. He must look really feminine, considering how easily he was able to fool other ponies before. Interestingly, despite this, a lot of fanart shows him with an angular muzzle, which is the most obvious way of recognizing a pony as stallion.
Would’ve be smarter to tell Blackjack and Co. that part of the plan. Otherwise they may have decided to save you by attacking them, thus ruining the plan and getting you all killed.
When had plenty of rape in this story. Every time it was shown as something really, really horrible. So when the story told us about the captured Steel Ranger, I was expecting a traumatized or at least angry stallion. Him actually enjoying the sex caught me completely off-guard. So I have to give the story some credit for playing with my expectations .
However, this also clashes completely with the tone of PH. After Stable 99 AND P-21 breaking down crying after having been raped by the Overmare AND the town in this very same chapter who kept their females as sex slave we suddenly have the old joke about the capture male being revealed as horny guy who enjoys the sex.
No... just no! And this is me saying that this joke is in bad taste. It's just so competlly out of place in this story. It’s like having Blackjack, who always struggled with not killing a defensless pony no matter the crime, would suddenly executed a Raider with a witty one-liner.
Sex-Ed aside, most ponies don’t cover their rumps. So there wouldn’t be a nudity taboo and most foal would learn pretty early one that each gender has different bits.
And nothing of value was lost.
I’ m still pretty mad about this part. Feels like the story is trying to tell me that nobody except Goldenblood – not Luna or Celestia or the Mane Six – really matter in the grand scheme of things
Blackjack is getting pretty good at seeing through bullshit. I’m impressed!
My first guess was that this is Sanguine, but what we’ve seen from that ghoul he’s far to level-headed for such an outburst. “Goldenblood” on the other hand, seems to be one step away from a killing spree.
Goddammit Blackjack, get your shit together! This is the worst possible moment for one of your episodes.
Glory just earned 20 badass points!
Nothing a bunch of healing potions and the irresponsible use of Hydra can’t fix.
When Blackjack was first cut open in the medical center and had to drag her guts over the floor, it gave me shivers. But by now everypony has gotten mutilated so many times I’m just “meh”. Point in case: P-21 got two hooves blown up only to have them instantly regenerated with Hydra.
Cut off or injured imbs should be a big deal, but in this story it's as serious as a stubbed toe. Sometimes less is more.
Well that was intense.
Blackjack’s On-screen Body Count: 151
Waah waah maybe don't enslave your family, and then threaten to kill them all when you get cornered.
Could have asked scotch if she wanted to erase her memories instead of just doing it
I'm pretty sure when he was sneaking through thevstabke disguised as a mare
Wondering if Blackjack would ever meet the actual Goldenblood, maybe he had his soul siphoned somewhere?