- Member Since 25th Jan, 2012
- offline last seen Yesterday
Yukito
Trixie and Twilight are best ponies! (Diamond Tiara is best filly :D )
Yukito
Joined 25th Jan, 2012 ·
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Loving it.
It's Goofy Time! Prepare your anus!
well okay that was decent
What the hell, Yukito? What is up with this foalcon kick you've been on?
4746853 Well, I have been egging him on, so I can accept two percent of the blame. The other 98 percent is yuki being a sick perv.
I've followed your fanfiction for awhile and always thought it was funny and cute. Now I think less of you as a human being. Sad.
4746890
There is much worse out there. A small bit of foalcon hurt nobody.
4746979 Yes, but now someone I liked is doing it.
4746999
So? It is one foalcon out of his x number of fics. Don't go demeaning him like that for one fic.
4747022 I feel we have very differing moral outlooks if you think that just one kiddie fucking story is alright.
In any case, I'm out.
Welp! This proves my theory that all pink ponies... (sunglasses on) ...can break the fourth wall.
YEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!
4747110
We have very differing opinions when you take fanfiction, FICTION, very seriously. It is a fictional, non-real story based off of fake, talking horses that can apparently use magic, shit rainbows, and break the sound barrier. Yes, child sex when the age difference is that extreme is wrong, but this is a fictional world. We can do pretty much anything we want to it and it's characters. Itbdoesn't exactly make us huge perverts or anything, it just means we can see different situations and meanings and bring them to light, some are more unsavorable than others. This is just one unlikely situation and outlook to a scene, but it is an outlook nontheless.
4747155
Well yes, but by that logic it's totally cool for me to write and publish a story about heroic defenders of the white race who set out to defend the virtue of Southern womanhood by hunting down and torture killing the roving packs of negro rape beasts who have been committing acts of serial miscegenation in the area. That's fiction too and it doesn't directly hurt anyone, but it's a type of thinking that should be discouraged and people would and should think less of me for writing it, especially the twenty page description of the boss negro being castrated and sodomized.
4747285
That's not the same as foalcon. That is extreme, this is animal nature. Oh, guess what. THESE ARE RACES OF ANIMALS, NOT HUMAN BEINGS.
4746890
If you don't like the content, don't read it. If you don't like the story itself, fine, go ahead and ignore it, maybe even dislike it or post about the things you don't like. It's your choice. But there's hardly any need for insults and personal attacks on other users
Thankfully I'm in a happy place in life and have friends to fall back on whenever I'm feeling down, but there are people out there who feel they have noone and a comments like that can really rattle them up. I know this having been one of these people in the past, and it isn't a very nice experience. Just be more considerate because you may be dealing with one such person and you wouldn't even know it.
This fic hurts nopony. Comments like "you're less than human" do hurt people's feelings. As the saying goes, 'If you've got nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all'.
4746890 XD you're entire basis for disliking this guy is because he wrote a story about two ponies fucking?
Because if you think the story is pedophilia inspired you have the wrong reality.
Humans have things called age of consent and those who are below that age that engage in sexual acts with older people are usually the victims of statutory rape.
Horses don't have that age of consent irl or in MLP.
Who knows if they recognize consent at an early age as they used to with humans back in the olden times.
Kids as young as 14 would have been married off and some much younger.
In Equestria there isn't any age of consent law that has been talked about and the show teaches love and tolerance.
What I am saying is basically. Don't be mad at foalcon because reasons.
4749549
No, it's still pedophilia regardless of what fanon you apply to it.
Good story though.
4749148 Giggle at the rustled jimmes!
Your story is really good! Thanks for writing and sharing!
Have a Twist-nerd of approval!
Also, this story qualifies for the Foalcon group's fetish contest. There are some really great prizes, so please (join the group if necessary and) add it to the competition folder here:
http://www.fimfiction.net/group/1995/folder/27082/1/fetishfoalcon-contest
As a bonus, your fic also also qualifies to enter in the 1000 member Foalcon group raffle event for a chance to win a free one-shot commission of your choosing (from yours truly -- and I promise I'm not a terrible writer). Your fic will automatically get a place in the group's folder of honor just for entering.
Enter the raffle here:
http://www.fimfiction.net/group/1995/folder/31755/1/1000-member-raffle-entries
What the fuck is yuri?
4749677
It's the japanese term for lesbian sex.
Now for some actual constructive commentary!
Typos and errors:
‘sticky.’ (I think a period is better than a semicolon, too.)
shelicked
smile
Silvey
Add a comma after "in."
filly
Insert "and" after "back."
juices
Rephrase. I suggest maybe changing "stained" to "staining."
Just a suggestion:
"Cute ceañera" is fine, but I think combining the two parts makes it read better, like the real-world equivalent quinceañera.
Believability:
The tongue kissing was good, but it started off a little unrealistically, I feel. I think if Pinkie had given them a little nudge in the right direction after they started kissing normally by saying something like, 'tasting each other's lips and tongues feels good,' that would have worked more believably.
Thrusting and touching another's clitoris is well and dandy when the one thrusting is upright, but I don't get how Pinkie realistically could have done it while her double-strap-on was in the way. This isn't a big deal, just maybe could use some polishing, or something to think about for future fics.
Some more convincing anxiety before luring them to the bedroom and a more realistic invitation to allow Pinkie to fondle Diamond would have helped me get into the spirit of things a lot sooner and set the mood better. For example, maybe Pinkie could have started to feel a bit jittery before extending the invitation for a private party, and when Pinkie started to get Diamond to open her legs, Diamond could have more vocally objected, and/or Pinkie could have offered her reassurance that, even though it seems weird, it'll be worth it.
I really liked the believability throughout the rest. I always appreciate realism in my underage cartoon horse porn!
Things I liked:
The length and overall pace (except the rush through Pinkie's initiation, I think) was good for clop! The number of times they get off, the fetish appeal of a female threesome, foalcon, and cumming on them while they slept are all highly appealing, imo!
Funny/clever references to the show, Button's Adventures, lolicon, etc.
Decent characterization. I liked Diamond's impatience with Silver at points, Silver's desire to make Di happy, Pinkie's enthusiasm, etc.
Something that I especially liked, beside the clop itself, was how you treated Pinkie Pie's secrecy throughout and her deception of Mrs. Cake.
4749677 A Japanese word for sex between females taken from anime.
4747285 Are you talking from experience? Have you read/written that? That is awfully detailed for a hypothetical example.
Sir Author, this is fucked up! Pinkie is a terrible pony, she should be locked up for the rest of her life. I enjoyed this. It's not easy finding good foalcon. Not saying it was my favorite, but it's pretty dang good.
5000877
Thank you Legendary Bird. I shall capture you last :)
this was great. i love How Pinkie didn't even know what she was doing was technically wrong. Just another weapon in her arsenal to make ponies smile regardless of age or gender.
She was gentle and loving. it was a little weird that she got off all over their faces while they slept though
And the after care was so tender and the interaction between Diamond and Spoon so heart warming and adorable.
I like the mention of
to. I would LOVE to read about her cheerup seession with Twisty
In the end everyppony is
as long as Alula can keep her mouth shut
Whew, for a moment there I thought you were going to go full-on dark tag there with Pinkie Pie! The wrong idea? And what idea would that be? I sure wouldn't leave her alone with my kids!
That said, I've seen Pinkie Pie mix the dark and sex tags before, and it's not an experience I wish to repeat.
But hey, you kept it pretty under wraps, except the part where Pinkie... Oh who am I kidding! This DOES deserve a dark tag! I thought I was reading a regular clop fic, when in reality it was a rape fic wearing a fancy getup!
And yet, you still get my thumbs up.
Fantastic clop fic, hope pinkie shows this game to more little fillies and colts.... lappin' up cum like
OMG yay another silvertiara clopfic! XD I love it :D and I wouldn't want to go to pinkies tho xDD (never tried clopping tho)
It's lovely and sweet, and funny and some parts xD especially this one:
XDDDDDD
I read this story, like, two or three times now XD but it got me wondering, who's Alula?
5671574
img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120211153959/mlp/images/thumb/c/cb/Cheerilee%27s_class_celebrating_2_S2E17.png/640px-Cheerilee%27s_class_celebrating_2_S2E17.png
The yellow one with a purple mane
5672995 How can she be their friend? She's a blank flank. They're always teasing the CmC for that.
5869269
First, she has a cutie mark in various other appearences.
Second, just 'cause they tease the CMC for being blank flanks sometimes (they don't do it every time they clash), doesn't mean they automatically dislike all blank flanks. They befriended Babs, after all. It's just something they know bothers the CMC in particular, although Flight to the Finish suggests it doesn't bother them so much anymore.
4746741 I agree. i want to read that to but if it were any pony other then Pinkie I would have to call bullshit now that I think of it. Twist JUST got her mark that day like RIGHT before Diamond's party so only Pinkie could inexplicably know that fast that Twist got her mark.
I see you are a man (?) of class and culture, and also have somehow avoided the attention of the anti-foalcon mob. Kudos to you!
Just promise me you won't (threaten to) kill yourself if someone downvotes you!
10882273
Haha, of course I wouldn't do that! ... W-Why, you're not... gonna downvote me, are ya?
10882471
Don't worry, little filly, my thumbs point only one way for you, and it's the happy way!