Epilogue: Encore
Big McIntosh grinned as he walked over the creaky old floorboards of the kitchen. Three or four foals weaved around him, under his belly, and through his legs as they chased each other about the house. He brushed his graying forelock out of his eyes.
Full. This house had always been better when full, and these days, it certainly didn’t disappoint. One of Applejack’s children still lived here—the next generation to take over the farm, once Big Mac and Applejack had retired, in name, if not in actual refraining from work. And it seemed like at least a dozen of either Applejack’s or Apple Bloom’s grandchildren would rule the place on any given day. Exactly as it should be.
The old Cutie Mark Crusaders clubhouse on the edge of the property still stood, but more as a curiosity. They had an actual building. A whole building now. Apple Bloom’s construction company had put it up a good twenty years ago, and she’d started a national organization, all official-like. Similar to the Filly Scouts or something.
Big Mac flipped through the mail and left the bills on the small desk in the hallway, then broke into an even wider grin at the last item: another postcard. No wonder Derpy had smiled so big. She’d swooped in with her six-year-old grandson on her back and paused a minute like she wanted to say something. From the smile alone, he’d figured on a note from Tavi, but what else? They came regularly enough—Tavi had kept that promise. She’d kept all her promises. Years later, he still didn’t count anypony as a closer friend, not even Derpy. But the mailmare had bitten her tongue and flown off.
He checked the postmark, but it was too faint for him to read. At least the front had nice, big words on it. From somewhere overseas—he had no idea where Maretonia was.
And so he headed for the stairs. He loved having all these kids around, but sometimes he needed a bit of quiet. Once in his room, he swung the door shut, mostly anyway. They didn’t usually close doors in this house. Not surprisingly, he heard a tiny knock just a few seconds later.
“Uncy Big Mac, can I play with Miss Smarty Pants?”
He turned and patted the small filly on her head. “In a minute, Honeycrisp. I got somethin’ to do first.”
She nodded and tore off back down the stairs. With a chuckle, Big Mac walked over to his dresser. He’d tell her when he went down later that she could come get the doll. If she even remembered.
On top of the dresser, his growing array of family photos sat. So long ago, he used to have postcards propped up amid them, but not anymore. Not enough space—instead, he’d kept them all in a binder on the dresser’s corner, and it had grown pretty heavy over the years. Tavi sent one nearly every month, all this time, and he’d write back when he knew she’d be in Canterlot. She’d even stop by for the occasional weekend to catch up and play some songs with him, and every year or two for another week-long folk music festival. All promises kept, and not because she felt obligated. She really wanted to. No deceit in those eyes—an Apple could tell. Even helped out with the gardening.
He took the book over to his bed and paged through it. Those first few that he could recite by heart. Then about a year’s gap before they’d started up again. Pictures and messages from every corner of the world.
The one where she’d told him she was getting married—he wouldn’t read it again, not today. The one only seven months afterward, where the shaky writing said it had ended already. She’d come back to visit not long after, but kept mostly to herself.
Another, where she’d tried to comfort him after his own broken engagement. Seems like they’d both given up after that. The one that got away, that was never meant to be, but that he’d never equal again, so why try?
With a sigh, he pushed through a couple of decades, all in one clump, and found the next empty spot near the back. “What do you think, Miss Smarty Pants?” he said, holding up the picture. “Maretonia. See all the pretty costumes and the old castle on the hill?”
And with the postcard’s back toward him, Big Mac finally saw the writing at the top, in big letters.
“I’m done.”
He blinked, held the card closer to his face, and felt around on the bedside table for his reading glasses. He read aloud to Miss Smarty Pants.
“I’m done. I got it all out of my system. There’s only one thing in my life I never accomplished, and it wasn’t fair to have to choose between my music and the only authentic love I ever found. If only I’d known that then, but as you said at the time, I always felt like the music was something bigger than me, something I owed the world. But I’m done. I’ve retired, and it’s time to do something for me. In two weeks, I’ll ride the carriage in from Canterlot, and my heart will skip a beat, just like it always has when I’ve made that trip. Now, maybe I’ll be the wise elder musing to a young mare about first love. But this time, I won’t have a return ticket. I just want to find a quiet corner of Ponyville where I can ply my simple gifts. And maybe I can finally find that last piece my life has been missing for so long. I hope I’ll see you there. You know I still love you. You’re better than I deserve.”
Big Mac stared at the writing a minute longer. Why would she even doubt it? “Couldn’t be,” he said. He shut the book again. This postcard wouldn’t go in there—he propped it up with the photos and put his binder back on the dresser.
Derpy had read it as usual, not that he minded. She’d always done that, with his okay. But the varmint knew his routine well enough to figure things’d play out exactly as they had. Him, in his room, nice and private. He owed her a muffin for that.
“Honeycrisp!” he shouted down the stairs. “You can play with the doll now!”
Two weeks. It had all started with two weeks, so why not? Maybe it’d just mean his best friend living nearby, maybe more, but either way, he’d love nothing better than to spend the time with Tavi. Black and gray, always with that sense of wonder and wind chimes of laughter. And the burgundy. The beautiful burgundy.
Like every time he’d gotten a postcard, he planned to stop by Carousel Boutique. He couldn’t find Rarity there too often these days, but within a week or so, at the shop or at a Ponytones rehearsal, he’d catch her. And he’d thank her, then she’d ask why, but her smile would say that she knew.
He opened his bottom dresser drawer, looked over the old walnut case inside, and rubbed a hoof across his mouth. Not lesson day until tomorrow. He’d taught two of those foals for a couple years now—Applejack’s third grandson and Apple Bloom’s oldest granddaughter.
The filly even saw the colors. So voice lessons for her, too. Just like Granny Stone said, can’t get one without the other, at least for somepony with that particular family inheritance. For a minute, his mind drifted to a cabin on a mountaintop and fiddle music by firelight.
No. No lessons today. But like he did once or twice a week, he’d enjoy an afternoon for himself. Not necessarily by himself—friends and family were always welcome to listen—but playing just for fun. For the love of it.
Then, humming an old lullaby, he took his dulcimer out and headed for a small pond at the base of a hill in a quiet orchard.
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Killbles · 7k words · 140 4 · 3.5k views
- BaronVonStallion · 43k words · 102 7 · 3.5k views
- Grenazers · 2k words · 176 9 · 4.5k views
- The6thMaster · 72k words · 317 14 · 7.8k views
- Pascoite · 6.1k words · 214 3 · 3.8k views
- Shrapmo · 7.2k words · 49 4 · 1.2k views
- GivingSpider · 3k words · 66 4 · 3k views
- Sir Barton · 35k words · 41 11 · 853 views
Stats
Page generated in 0.212 seconds
Total duration
1,018 users online
2,015,010 hits today, 2,280,440 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Oooh! Mixed emotions here, it was a shame they didn't really get together and in a way that neither of them found somepony else but Mac seems happy and I guess Octavia was as well and they can still have many happy years together.
Overall I feel quietly optimistic at the end.
Gotta say first half loved it then it went down hill. SO in the end i didn't like it... at all it was just wrong i couldn't even truely finish the epilogue.
As amazing as this story is, I can't but help disappointed. I felt that chapter 6 and the encore were just... shoved in there for the point of adding the sad tag. Reminds me of mass effect 3 in a sense, the journey was amazing, but I just can't get behind the ending.
Either way, 8/10 from me. However when I end up re-reading this, I think I'll stop at chapter 5. I don't want to sound offensive with what I'm saying or ungrateful for this amazing story you wrote, but that is just my opinion.
5218588 I'm sorry you feel that way. But to me, Big Mac is completely right. He couldn't leave behind the life he loves and dump all that responsibility on Applejack. He also can't have Octavia move to the farm, because either she'll never be there, or she'll have to give up her career. It's a no-win scenario, and one that happens in real life often enough.
I knew I'd get some readers upset, just because many only want happy endings to their shipping, but it wasn't tacked on. The whole thing was rewritten with this ending in mind.
5218558
I second this.
This is more worthy of the tragedy tag, not just sad.
And here is why.
This story captivated me. I love it. The writing style, the descriptions, everything just flowed. I don't seek out sad stories- and to specify, stories that END sad. Characters are meant to be tried, put through the wringer, and then spat out as they try to recover themselves, but then come out on top. It's when they don't recover, when the optimistic spirit is broken, that a story becomes a tragedy.
The characters were broken, as was the upbeat and carefree spirit of the story. It saddens me to see the story take this turn. I did not expect a sad tag to lead to this.
That's why this is a tragedy. A romance, an adventure, it all has sad points.
This is not that; it is a tragedy, and rather than pick up and continue into a positive, it tumbles off a cliff into despair.
I do not write this to bash you, author, because your story is, simply put, amazing. It's realistic, well written, and chocked full of intricate descriptions. I only write this because I am truly disappointed that the feeling that pervaded the first three-fourths of the book didn't just vanish- it was shot down and burned.
The epilogue wasn't able to resurrect that feeling, only hint and a possibility that may or may not exist. It was too little, too late.
So, well done author, on a brilliant piece. I only wish I could enjoy it and look back on it with enthusiasm, and re-read it to watch a lively romance blossom and flourish. Instead....I am left feeling saddened, rather miffed, and empty. I wanted to read about romance, but was met with a sad tragedy.
If I was warned with that tag- that implies it is not all sunshine and rainbows, (Tragedy) then I'd be inclined to think differently
Regards,
-Radbunny
5218609
When I was reading this, I thought that was going to happen. I did think that they were going to break it off. But I thought some years later, after Octavia's career had waned, they would get back together in the epilogue.
I am a sucker for happy endings, like you said, so I really can't make an argument against that. It was just the entire feel and tone of the story took a nosedive and that is what threw me off.
BRAVO BRAVO Well done,
Dude you did good
Some times life gets in the way, Time,
Time to retire from the post office !
[aplauso]
Thank you for this read. Got me right in the feels. Dead center in the feels....
This is going to be another one of those stories that I can't bear to read again. Maybe if you came out with some continuation that shows them getting together again, but that would spoil the effect, and still so much time lost. Makes you almost resent what is often the reality of life and love.
It really shows that you've put a ton of heart into every bit of this. So bittersweet it hurts, and done so well that I can't get away from the feeling. Thanks for sharing the experience! This is definitely going on my page as a top favorite.
I have to disagree with some of the above comments. Neither chapter six nor the epilogue felt "shoehorned" into the story. I think it was a very natural, very reasonable path for the story to go down. I hate to compare other stories, but, to me, the ending is sort of like Background Pony. Beneath the tragedy and the sadness lies a spark of hope. This is may not be the ending the story deserved, but it's the one it needed to make it as compelling a read as it is.
So with that, well done, Pasco.
5219234 I'm glad you enjoyed it and stuck with it the whole way. It is a sad development, but the amount of time they'd have remained sad about it is pretty small, compared to the fact that they remained very close lifelong friends. That's a better outcome than trying to remain in a doomed relationship and coming to resent each other because of the strain.
5218616 Completely agree on the Tragedy Tag. Most see tragedy is someone dies or someone kills off someone or even someone gets hurt badly but Sadly few people look at the Emotional side to tragedy. YOu built up a great story it had its moments that made you laugh and cry and you wanted to see how they went on with life. They with the last chapter it just kinda went oh you know how i went through all that stuff making it happy yeah... well here they split have fun.
5219015
Thank you, btw, for introducing me to that hammered dulcimer/cello piece Pascoite mentioned in the last chapter's A/N. :D
5219316 Because real life never happens that way...
5219821 yeah well i call that tragedy was well. Or in my sister and her boyfriends case a punch to the nuts.
It's clear how much you care about these characters. Mac and Tavi are both incredibly well-written, their reactions are believable, and I found myself connecting with each of them as the narrative switched between their perspectives.
When I originally read Chapter 4: Elegy, I felt like you were tipping your hand. After reading those first few paragraphs, it seemed like there was only one way for the story to end, and I wish we hadn't seen Tavi's doubts so close to the start of that chapter. Overall, though, the foreshadowing created a beautiful, melancholic sense of inevitability. I can't say I was surprised by the ending, but you delivered it marvelously.
As for the epilogue, it was equally beautiful and tragic. I'm so happy that they'll finally be together, but that happiness is tempered by the knowledge of how much of their lives they spent apart and how much of their time together has been lost.
'Duet' hits all the right notes. It's a new favorite for many, many reasons, and I know I'll return to read it again and again. Thank you so much for finishing it.
5219869 There'll always be some disagreement over whether a story had the right tag set. I consider tragedy to be something really out of the ordinary. A natural death, a common illness, a breakup—they happen all the time, and you can expect a certain amount of them in any life. But a violent death, an incapacitating injury, a natural disaster, or other things along those lines aren't the kinds of things anyone would expect. Even for the former, I'd probably tag any death of a main character as tragedy, just to be on the safe side, but I didn't feel it was warranted here, and neither did my pre-reader.
5220390 True, but it's still common to see people in Appalachia play hammer dulcimer. You more often see the strummed ones on display at craft shows and for sale, but in my experience, you more often see performers playing hammer dulcimer, at least in the North Carolina mountains.
Damn fine work you've done with this story
Well it seems that you have given allot of people the feels with this story. This story was masterfully executed, I loved how I started to get nervous when Big Mac took to the stage, very few stories make me feel along with the character, but this one did. So thank you for that and well done. I kinda want to read about them getting together again and her moving to Ponyville and all the changes, but at the same time this fic feels complete so I am hesitant for you to do so.
`Anyway great fic over all, it really got to me at the end, and I am seriously happy for following this fic. Though I highly doubt that I will be able to read the entire fic again, just because of all the feels that are in it.
So beautiful, but so sad. Yes, they're going to be together (even just as friends and neighbors), but despite all the dreams Tavi has lived with her music, it's heartbreaking that she didn't get to spend her life and grow old with Mac. Le sigh.
The feels . . . so many feels.
5220748 In a way, she did get to spend her life with Mac. She visited and wrote regularly, played music with him, held her folk festivals at the farm. They've been best friends all their lives, and now they have another chance to make it something more. They've had good lives, maybe not as good as they could have been, but definitely not ruined.
5219405
Your welcome. :3 The internet is my friend, if I decide I want to find something specific... it will show me the thing I am after.
I haven't found a story on this site that involves romance that doesn't have a clichéd happy ending in some form or another (that isn't straight up dark or a tragedy). I don't typically read romances -- at least not for romance's sake. I've read stories that have had romance in them and I have read romances because they had interesting ideas in them (Celestia not being able to be with anyone because she literally lights on fire with the heat of the sun when not in control, for example), but typically I don't read a straight up romance just because. I was attracted to this one partly because of the unique pairing, partly because of the musical connection thing mentioned in the description.
I got so much more.
This story is wonderful and oh so bittersweet. I honestly was not expecting the sad ending. It made so much sense, and that made it hurt that much more when it played out that way. The encore (I love what you did with the chapter names, by the way) made it even worse; it showed a lifetime of bittersweet that just drives it home and kicks you in the gut with emotion when you find that after all that time they get a chance to be together.
The way you weaved this story together with descriptions and color and repetition and language -- you are a great writer and it was a joy to read this.
For me, a story that writes itself is one where I've got a clear idea of the ending. But more than that, it's like the ending and connecting the dots that lead up to it just seem completely obvious.
"They're going to end up on 7th street. Well, coming from uptown that means they're going to cross 4th, 5th and 6th."
It all flows because of how well lit the path is, I just need to fill in the details.
All of the stories I've written that have stumped me at points were all heavily tied to a lacking in my choice of direction. Once I'd settled where things should go, getting there was a whole lot easier.
-----
I really liked this story. It didn't go in quite the way I'd hoped - I'm a romantic with strong personal beliefs on top of that - but it all still made sense.
What's strange is that chapter six wasn't sad for me. I didn't feel sad about what happened, I felt disappointed in the characters. I was not disappointed with the writing - gotta be clear about that. But, because of my romantic ideals and my closely held beliefs their choices seem short sighted and wasteful to me. There are ways to be a shining beacon of music, sharing it with as many as possible without touring. There have been some absolute greats in music that did little to no concerts whatsoever.
Hal Blaine was the studio drummer for pretty much all of Phil Spector's "wall of sound" stuff and has played drums on over 150 top ten songs. The Beatles stopped touring because the crowds were so big and noisy they couldn't hear themselves playing - John Lennon never toured again, just released albums.
She could have become a studio musician or started up a Ponyville orchestra, or gone into teaching, or a bunch of other "sharing your music with everyone" choices that wouldn't have required her being away. I was disappointed that she wasn't willing to let go of the spotlight and stubborn enough to prove to Big Mac that she could.
The thing that I've found the more I analyze why I enjoy music is that in the grand scheme of things - the performer matters little.
Sure, you want and need quality to truly share what the song can do, but any performer that's good enough can do that. It doesn't NEED to be a specific person. The song writing and the arrangement are the things that last forever though. The top ten violinists from Mozart's day are lost to the wind for all but the most dedicated musical historians, but Mozart's music is known to most of the world still. Though it's sad, probably the greatest classical guitar player to have ever lived - Segovia - is mostly unknown, but the music he played, the songs, carry on.
There are musicians that I always want to listen to because I know every performance they put out will be Manna from Heaven for my ears, but performances are an "in the moment" experience and ultimately fade.
Family is more important, and she didn't choose it. I feel bad for them.
I can't say I liked chapter six in the slightest, and quite frankly it nearly ruined the story for me. In the end they break up for issues that should have been apparent from day one, and the only logic involved is "people who travel a lot for work can't have relationships". Is every other member of Tavi's orchestra single and lonely? Do people who go into military service always end up single? Sure, some do, but others do not because they make it work as a couple. I used to work as a contractor who spent 5 days a week flying out to work in another city, and plenty of my colleagues were happily married. You can make it work, unless of course you go the route Mac took and are too much of a coward to try.
(I get just as ticked off as when I read a Dash ship-fic and she either doesn't join the Wonderbolts because of a relationship, or vice versa breaks up and is miserable.)
The epilogue redeemed it somewhat, but only a little since they still had these silly ideas about travel and relationships.
Sorry, Pascoite, but you managed to land dead center on a huge pet peeve of mine.
5220826 Yes, but ponies that close? That much in love with each other? And never married each other (except maybe at the end of their lives?) Yes, there's a certain beauty to it, but it still just seems sad.
At least she liked him back. That's something some of us have never known.
People say it's a tragedy- well, a tragedy is when something doesn't get a chance to finish like it should.
An old stallion took a path round the farm. An old mare cantered round the city.
Eventually, eventually those two paths met at a pond, where the music plays in simple ways. Love doesn't die because it's gray around the muzzle. Sometimes, it too has to take the long way round. But it never was lost. It just wandered, as Tolkien said.
I loved this story, and I almost never post. Ever.
However, I hated the ending. Don't get me wrong, I really enjoy what you've accomplished in the story. However, having been in a similar situation in real life, with conflicting career choices etc, I can safely say that there is always a way to make it work. The story centered around how much these two came to love one another, and yet even with all that love, they couldn't make it work? Macintosh lives and works on a farm. A very well off, established farm at that. Octavia is a famous musician who travels and preforms mainly in Canterlot, which is less than a few hours ride from Ponyville. Not to mention that she had just stated in the last chapter that she had three months each touring season she was able to stay with him? From personal experience, a Quarter of a year is more than enough to make something like that work. The less ostentatious music stars in today's industry do it all the time even. I feel like there simply wasn't enough reason to warrant them splitting off the relationship, when they so clearly enjoyed each other. It feels very unrealistic. Had they lived further away from one another, or simply had no time whatsoever to visit, it would have been better off.
However, this is your story, and you are entitled to finishing it how you choose. I hope you continue to write wonderful stories, even if I couldn't finish this one in good faith.
5223126 Basically, this right here exactly. The ending doesn't hold to the rest of the story, and just feels like you needed an ending and randomly choose this one in spite of how much sense it didn't make.
Sorry again, Pascoite, but this gets a downvote from me based on how much of the day it made me spend ticked off at Mac and at you. It's an emotional reaction, but hey, we're made of our emotions.
This story was the definition of bittersweet, and I think the ending was hauntingly beautiful. I understand completely the reasons why they had to call it off in the end, but to me it just seems so much sadder than if they had just broken up and forgotten about each other. Tavi visits that one weekend a month every month, just enough to keep them tangled up in each other's hearts and unable to share themselves with anyone else. They can claim they are happy with this state of affairs, but then they both tried to marry other ponies, only for it to fail. Now that they're at the end of their lives, it looks like they'll be able to die together even if they don't have much time to live together, rather like Cranky and Matilda. It's a beautiful story, and to me it all makes perfect sense, but that doesn't mean it isn't a damn shame.
Dear Pascoite,
What a hauntingly beautiful tale! It has certainly raised strong feelings in your readers, and I'm no exception. However, I must admit that I cannot decide whether this story would be better with a happier ending, so I won't promote either side of this argument. I do however, have to hand it to you, the author for crafting a tale so lyrically bittersweet. Thanks for having the courage to see it through!
5221716
Given Octavia's burgeoning interest, she's going to want to travel all over and collect folk music wherever she can find it. She wouldn't be happy cooped up in one place. At least she was willing to make a go of it, but Big Mac wouldn't let her.
5222129
5224041
I'll be equally blunt. I think you're being petty. You actually can't imagine real people making this decision? Then you either haven't met many people or you're just being contrary. You don't have to like the story. But there's a big difference between not liking it and calling it bad. I suppose it's your prerogative when and why you vote on a story, but I never downvote a story just because I don't like it. I downvote it because it's badly written in significant ways. I've even upvoted stories I didn't like because I could recognize the skill that went into it, and I had no objection beyond personal taste.
5223126
I get that you don't agree with their decision, but does that really mean it's unreasonable? There are plenty of real-life ones who have made this choice. You may call them weak, you may call them quitters, but that doesn't change the fact that it happens. People are flawed. So are these characters. No amount of rationalization will get you to be happy about it, but I will vehemently defend this as realistic. Yes, Octavia doesn't live that far away. But she's never there. She said herself that she spends less than four months at home each year. If Big Mac was willing to see her that little or travel with her, no problem, but he isn't. I think that's entirely consistent with his character. Just because some people can make that work doesn't mean everyone can. I also disagree with your description of the Apples' finances. Canon repeatedly portrays them as not far from financial problems. Pinkie gets her cutie mark switched and can't work very well? The farm falls apart. Applejack also keeps fretting about whether she'll ever be able to afford Granny's hip operation. Canon shows them as prosperous at times, too. My point is that there's evidence either way, and you can't fault an author for choosing one or the other. Likewise, canon portrays Canterlot as both a short carriage ride and an overnight train ride away from Ponyville.
5225636 That's what I meant by saying she wasn't stubborn enough. If Applejack or Granny Smith had been in the same situation as Octavia Big Mac wouldn't have been able to drive them out of town with a lynch mob. Even if he'd dumped someone with that kind of stubbornness they'd have stayed in town and gone through with the change in lifestyle to prove it to him.
I'm not disagreeing with what happened, I'm just saying what I'd like to have happened with a side of how and why it made me feel what I felt.
The fact that I care shows how well written this was - anybody who has a strong reaction for or against this story only did so because of how invested in these characters you got us all.
Don't mistake my spouting of philosophical ideals as dislike in the slightest.
Hello, thank you for a very pleasent story, i truly enjoyed it, and will point it out to my friends as well...
Im not sure how to feel about this story, but it was a great read regardless.
5225636 I didn't downvote because it was a sad ending, I'm not some newbie reader who wants everything to be sunshine and hugs. The reason for it is that if you wanted to make it a sad ending you should have come up with something that made more sense, something that matches the skill of the rest of the story. From my perspective, the ending is badly written.
Frankly, I was hoping I could be blunt enough to convince you to try, but since you are getting defensive about it both with me and with other dissenting readers then it's clear this is a lost cause.
5226352 You haven't said why you think it's bad beside the fact that it didn't turn out the way you wanted it to. Frankly, I expected that of a lot of readers. They like their shipping with happy endings. Your only complaint has been that you hate stories where people can't make long-distance/traveling romances work. And yet you can't concede that this happens in the real world all the time? Bullshit. And I haven't contested anyone who says they didn't like the ending. I've contested those who essentially say they can't see anyone making such a choice.
Octavia can't be held in one place. She wants to go around collecting folk music, and she explicitly characterizes her relationship with him as potentially becoming a choice between him and his career long before it actually came up. Big Mac can't leave his home, which he also explicitly stated long before things came to a head. Octavia even explicitly says she should have seen it coming. It's all built up pointing right at the resolution.
If you think it's bad, say why. You won't do it. Give examples. You can't just put that out there and expect it to fly. You sure sound like someone who's miffed because it didn't go the direction you wanted it to. If there's more to it than that, put it out there. All you've ever said is that the ending doesn't make sense, and yet you've only based that on some notion that people would never make this decision for these reasons, which is demonstrably false. If you're just going to call me defensive for asking for your evidence, then this will go nowhere fast.
5225698
No, I didn't take your response as necessarily saying you disliked it. But even if you did, that's fine. Your reaction is your reaction. You don't owe me anything. I'm glad you saw it through to the end.
5230246 Okay, you are right that I didn't really outline my full issues, but by the time I had them fully worked out in my head I had already made my last comment and didn't want to seem obsessive by continuing to comment unprompted. Here is where I am coming from. As I said, the more I thought about it the more it ticked me off, and it wasn't just the traveling thing, it was the history that developed between the two of them in the epilogue just as much.
First, Octavia. As I said in my first comment on this chapter, she is in a traveling orchestra. That means she is surrounded day after day by people in the exact same situation she is in and a fair number of them are going to be in relationships that do work in spite of the traveling. In turn, that means she spends decades not having a relationship that "won't work" when she should be constantly seeing ones that do that are set up exactly like hers would have been. And yet she does nothing about it except fail any other romantic relationships because she is still in love with Mac.
The problem with this is that she has been characterized all fic long as someone who goes and gets what she wants. Personality speaking, she almost certainly wouldn't be in the orchestra position she is in without a certain degree of personal forcefulness that is a bit beyond most people, and you can see it in the story too. She goes and meets Mac. She makes the music festival happen and gets him to play. She brings him to Manehatten to play. And then suddenly she becomes this other character that pines after the love that shoved her away for decades while doing nothing about it.
Second, Mac. In the sixth chapter, he carefully sets up a future friendship that is close enough that neither character involved can manage to move on to someone else, yet far enough that it can never develop into the relationship it should have been from day one. And again, then he just sits on it for decades and similarly fails any other relationship he tries.
That could certainly happen, sure, but Mac is surrounded by nearly a dozen mares in his circle of family and friends, precisely one of whom is a shrinking violet. AJ/Granny/Apple Bloom would be smacking Mac up one side and Derpy would be smacking him on the other for driving Octavia away but not actually cutting it off, and if they didn't then I'm sure Rarity, Twilight, etc. would be happy to step in and help. He'd be hearing about it immediately, after his marriage fails, after Octavia's marriage fails, after AJ gets married and has kids, after Apple Bloom does, and so on. Not to mention that Mac himself should be able to see the problem unless he is willfully blind about it for a very long time, and I don't see an Apple family stallion being that dishonest with himself for the length of time required.
Could the scenario that you are proposing happen in a vacuum? Sure. Could the breakup happen to our two characters? Sure, if they briefly turn into idiots. Could it persist as suggested for the decades that they pine after each other? I don't buy it given the characters involved and their family, friends, circumstances, and acquaintances.
Well done:
So very well done. You established your view of the characters right at the beginning, and they stayed true to themselves throughout. So, yes, maybe "pleasure" is the wrong word to use for such a heart-wrenching story, but I can't think of any other: this was a pure pleasure to read.
Mike
5230929 In the end, it really comes down to whether you can envision characters doing this or not. You may not like that they did, but their character development through the early chapters is consistent with this, chapters which didn't give you any problems.
To the general issue, long-distance relationships can work, but sometimes they don't. I wanted to get an idea of such, so I did a Google search of ("long distance" "break up"), and since that'd probably get me a bunch of haphazard hits, I restricted it to search on blogger.com so I'd more likely get personal musings there. It's still not foolproof, but I got 400k hits, and the three I spot-checked on the first page all were about this type of scenario, where people had broken up due to the strain of maintaining such a relationship, and all three were due to career issues. So it's certainly not an unusual occurrence in general.
To the characters specifically: Big Mac's whole connection to the music at the beginning was because it brought to mind visions of his farm, and he relates all that to her as well. She knows exactly how important the farm is to him. One of the first things he tells her is that it's his favorite place in all of Equestria. His work ethic is apparent in the beginning of chapter 3, and she even notes that he's probably the only pony she knows who would be happy about his chore list at the beginning of chapter 5. She even anticipates her dilemma in chapter 4, asking herself whether she could give up her music for him, and she dithers at it, not able to decide. Big Mac even states that he couldn't leave the responsibility all to Applejack, which is supported by canon—he saw firsthand in "Applebuck Season" that it takes more than her to run the place. The point keeps getting made that he's never going to give up his home. He was willing to visit Manehatten with her, but he was none too keen about city life while there. The whole place rubbed him the wrong way.
Octavia is very much a go-getter, but she's also practical enough to realize when something wasn't going to work. After she'd nearly begged him to change his mind, she was a little disgusted with herself, hence her comment about if one of the photographers could see her. His reasoning is in earnest—he can't leave home, and if she gives up her career, he'd never forgive himself, despite any reassurances she might give him. She recognizes that he's too stubborn to change on the matter. Yes, all the Apples are stubborn, but Applejack hasn't prodded him into anything. For his part, Big Mac just rolls with her stubbornness, and she treats him back the same way. No use arguing with him, because she won't get anywhere, and as a sensitive subject, it's not worth beating him up over something he won't change anyway. They pretty much act like this in "Pinkie Apple Pie."
Yes, people who have to travel a lot can have successful relationships. Maybe they date other members of the orchestra and its support staff, maybe they just find ponies who don't mind being on the road or staying alone at home for significant amounts of time. Not everyone can do that, and Big Mac is such a character. Octavia realizes it. This doesn't require them to be stupid. It's easy to get overwhelmed by things, and Big Mac never really gave much thought to their living arrangements until he decided he couldn't perform with her in that public a forum again. The fact that she took the year off from touring right as they started getting serious spoiled him. It might have worked out better if she'd kept a normal schedule that year, since it would have been less of a shock as to how much time they could actually spend together. But the damage is done.
I don't see them as the kind of characters who would enter other relationships lightly. The fact that they'd each moved toward other marriages shows that they'd gotten over the romance aspect of their friendship, but they did get disillusioned after both failed. Their relationships weren't sabotaged by continuing affection for each other—it wasn't until afterward that they both settled back into a "what if?" mode. If his love for Octavia had really interfered with his potential marriage, he would have been honest enough with himself to say so when he was looking at the postcards. He specifically says he hadn't given up on love until after that.
In the end, they both played it safe, which is a very human thing to do when facing a big risk. It's easy to call someone's actions stupid when you wouldn't have made the same choice, but to that person, it may make perfect sense.
5234578 I simply don't agree that the actions taken match up with the characterizations of the characters involved, but continuing to argue about it would be more of a time commitment than I'm really looking for. I'm here to read after all, and I've already spent more time in making my previous replies than feels justified when looking back at them.
Besides, continuing to tick off one of the more central members of the fanfic part of the fandom is probably a bad idea, and that's all I see coming from continuing this.
Edit: I just had a bit of an epiphany while reading the author's endnote at the back of a book that I finished today. It's longer (and more salty) than I can include here, but the conclusion as it relates to this is that insisting a story match my expectations is a losing game. So one way or another, farewell.
Some people who read this story didn't understand that some people make no sense to other people, but that doesn't mean they aren't real or badly written. In my case, when I was reading this story, I found the contrast between Octavia and Mac fascinating, that both of them tried to meet each other halfway, and ultimately only Octavia was able to naturally follow through with that idea. I identify with both her desire to see life from everyone's point of view and his inability to move too far out of his comfort zone. The fact that this story sparked the debate in the comments that it did gives the story more merit in my eyes, not less.
Cripes, they were so into each other that they ruined each other for marriage.
When I think of it that way, they probably should have just stuck to the long-distance relationship. It seemed to be working out pretty well, and it's not like they could get on with their lives without it.
Oh well. Cute story!
Yay, Goombasa's doing a reading of this story!
Here's Chapter 1.
Why did I read this before bed?! I was already depressed, but now I'm about to bawl my eyes out! You're a meanie!
5279795 I never watched Heroes. I'm not sure where I first heard the idea of synesthesia. Probably from an article on it, but it just popped into my head one day as a way of having Octavia develop an initial fascination with Big Mac.
5235096 Perhaps it's simply that you don't want to admit to yourself that in the real world relationships aren't always fairytale romances that end with a castle in the sky.
I found this to be one of the few very realistic romance stories I've read in this fanfiction.
Too often, difficulties are glossed over and solved instantly with sex or hyper-dramatized with far-fetched conflicts (usually involving super villains).
It is a rare treat for me to see a Pony relationship suffer from very down-to-earth difficulties such as simply getting cold feet and just not clicking together perfectly.
Such are the ways of true relationships.
Besides, it's better to 'call off the wedding' than end up unhappy and getting drunk and beating your wife and messy divorce and all that stuff... which is also a VERY common reality in our world when people can't give up their fantasy future dreams.
5230246 They needed to have graphic sexx0rz! THEN it would have worked out! Especially if Mac turned into a mare and they had lesbian sexx0rz! Then nothing could break them up! Not even if they also became vampires! Or liches! Or vampire robot liches!
At least, that's how it usually works in shipfics around here... *glares angrily at the common-and-annoying-as-toenail-fungus shippers with a seething gaze of rarefied vitriol that burns ulcers into their stomachs*