Epilogue
Twilight Falls, Sunset Dawns
Epilogue
"The festivity preparations are going very smoothly, Your Highness. Refreshments will be ready to be served fresh on-schedule, there are no reports of any suspicious behavior, and all activities in the city will be ready for the crowds." Kibitz finished his report and looked up at Celestia.
"Marvelous. This may be the grandest Summer Sun Celebration we’ve yet had," Celestia replied. The sun was setting on the horizon and come morning the festival would begin.
"Indeed. And perhaps this year we can get through it without some manner of disaster," Luna said from across the dinner table. Celestia smiled.
"Quite."
The two continued eating as Kibitz read off preparation reports. Then, there was a knock at the door, and one of the two guard ponies pulled it open. A third guard stepped into the room and bowed his head. "Your Highnesses, Princess Twilight and her entourage have arrived at the train station. They will be here shortly."
"Ah, I was wondering if she’d be late," Luna said. "Kibitz, you made the arrangements. What rooms have we put aside for their stay?"
"The west wing, second floor. The large guest room has eight beds awaiting, and I’ve told the chefs to have a meal prepared for them on their arrival."
Luna frowned. "Eight beds?"
"Yes, Your Highness." As Kibitz spoke, Luna saw Celestia stand and walk to the door behind him. "Princess Twilight specified she would be attending with seven guests."
"Seven… oh dear." Luna turned around and headed to the door as Celestia stepped into the hall. "Sister, perhaps we should—" She stopped as the door swung shut on her, golden magic holding it in place.
The hornblowers raised their horns and trumpeted a beat to herald the arrival of the guests at the entrance of the castle. On the grand staircase looking down at them, Luna smiled warmly and bowed her head. The pony at the doorway cleared his throat.
"Presenting, Her Royal Highness, Princess Twilight Sparkle. In her company, the Bearers of the Elements of Harmony, Miss Applejack, Miss Rainbow Dash, Miss Fluttershy, Miss Rarity, and Miss Pinkie Pie. Also accompanying her are Mr. Spike the Dragon, and…" the guard trailed off and frowned as he realized he didn’t know the name of the pony walking behind Spike.
"Guest," she provided.
"And… guest," the guard said.
Luna descended the stairs and stood in front of the group. "Good evening, Twilight Sparkle, everypony. And dragon." She winked at Spike. "My sister sends her apologies for her absence. She is quite busy making sure the Summer Sun Celebration goes perfectly and did not have time to take from her schedule to greet you."
Twilight smiled and bowed her head back. Luna, however, was watching the mare in the back of the group who hung her head at her words. Twilight lifted her head, blocking Luna’s view for a moment. "No trouble at all, Princess Luna. I’m sure there are much more important things than just saying hello to us."
"Quite. We have boarding prepared, or if you’d prefer a meal we have one waiting." Luna nodded at a nearby guard. "Please show Princess Twilight and her friends to the dining area." The guard nodded and turned to lead the group down a passage. As they passed, Luna locked eyes with the eighth member of the group. She turned her head when she realized Luna was watching her, and after only a moment looked away again, hurrying after the group.
Twilight Sparkle, you are either very foolish, or very brave.
Twilight looked behind her as the guard led them through the castle halls. Took longer than I thought. She was all right on the train ride, but now that we’re at the castle it’s going to get tough. She began walking slower. One by one her friends passed her, chatting among themselves, until the last of the group was coming up behind her. Sunset Shimmer looked up and saw Twilight watching her, but kept walking.
"I’m not going to have you walking around the castle looking like that," Twilight said, keeping pace. Sunset shook her head.
"You know why she wasn’t there to greet us. You sent word of our arrival. She knew I was going to be here."
"I’m sure that’s not it."
"Yes, it was."
Twilight sighed. "You told me you could handle this."
"I said I could handle coming back to the castle," Sunset said sharply, looking at her. "It’s going to be hard enough. Who knows how many ponies working here are going to recognize me and start asking questions? I figured Celestia would be too busy and we wouldn’t see her."
"And we haven’t yet, so why are you upset?" Twilight asked.
"Because if she didn’t find out I was coming before, she’ll find out now."
Twilight shook her head and stopped. Sunset took a few more steps before she noticed and turned around. Ahead of them the procession continued on without them. Twilight looked up at Sunset. "You’ve done well these last few months. And I’m going to tell her so, whenever it is I see her. I like to think she’ll be happy for you. Better yet, we can tell her together."
Sunset’s eye twitched and she turned away. She looked down at her neck and flicked a hoof at the anti-magic charm dangling under her face. Twilight frowned at the action. She told me she was going to stop playing with it.
"Can I have some bits, please?
"You are not going home."
Sunset took a breath and closed her eyes. Twilight saw her begin to shake and moved closer. "Please, Twilight. I can’t do this."
Yes you can. You just don’t realize it. That’s the problem, and that’s why we’re here. If there was one thing Twilight had caught on to in the last several months, it was how to handle her charge. "All right. I’ll make you a deal." Twilight put a hoof over her neck. "We’ll go have dinner. When it’s over, if you still want to leave, we’ll discuss it. Okay?"
Sunset gave her a wry smile. "You say that, but when we discuss it after, you’ll still insist on me staying."
"Yup."
"… Fine."
"We have arranged for a private viewing box for you and your entourage, Princess, during the festivities. Until then, all preparations are proceeding as scheduled and I doubt we will require any intervention from you," Kibitz looked up from his clipboard at the seven mares and one dragon seated in the dining room.
"Excellent. Thank you, Kibitz." Twilight nodded at him and he turned to leave. Sunset watched him and saw his eyes dart towards her for a moment before he looked away. She looked down at her plate and sighed.
"All right, here we are, everypony." The others looked up as a unicorn attendant wheeled a cart of food through the door to the kitchens. "We have three types of fruit salad. And for you, Mr. Dragon." The attendant smiled and floated a small bowl of gemstones in front of Spike. "We also have a wonderful assortment of pastries and gelatins waiting for desert."
"Can we skip to that part?" Pinkie asked. Twilight chuckled.
"It looks lovely, thank you," Rarity said. The unicorn nodded and floated the three bowls of fruit salad to the middle of the table. The ponies began helping themselves, spooning heaps of flower petals and fruit pieces onto their plates. Fluttershy looked beside her at Sunset, who had her eyes down on her plate.
"Oh, Sunset, do you need help?"
Sunset jerked and looked up. "Hm? Oh, um, no. Thank you." She looked up and waited for Rainbow Dash opposite her to put the spoon back in the nearest bowl, then reached out to it and lifted a single spoonful onto her own plate. She put the serving spoon back in its bowl and awkwardly took hold of a smaller eating spoon next to her plate.
She’s still having trouble using her hooves. Twilight ate her meal as she watched Sunset eat hers. Her movements were slow, unsure, and she dropped her spoon more than once. But she’s too proud to ask for help. That’s a good sign, means she has pride at least.
Sunset glanced up and caught Twilight watching her, the princess smiling at her. Sunset lowered her gaze and went back to her meal. Twilight’s smile vanished. It’s been months. It can’t be physical inability that holds her back. I made the right choice bringing her here, then.
There was a knock at the kitchen door and the assembled party looked up as the guard at the door pulled it open. Sunset saw who was standing on the threshold and immediately turned her head down again. Twilight noticed, but smiled and nodded at the visitor. "Good evening, Magistrate."
Rosen Cross approached the table and bowed his head. "Good evening, Princess Twilight."
"Girls, this is Magistrate Rosen Cross. I told you about him, right?" Twilight looked over the table. Understanding flitted over their faces and they nodded.
"Care ta join us at the table?" Applejack asked.
"I thank you for the invitation, but I must decline. Princess Twilight, if I could have your company for a few moments?" Rosen looked at her. Twilight glanced at Sunset: she had her eyes locked on the plate below her muzzle and Twilight thought she saw her eye twitch.
"Certainly." Twilight stepped back from the table and followed Rosen into the hall. The door clicked shut behind him and Rosen turned to lead Twilight through the castle. When they were a distance from the dining room doors, he spoke.
"I first must convey my sincerest apologies for what we have been through. I treated you terribly and did not heed your words when you attempted to explain your situation to me. I am deeply sorry."
Twilight looked at him and frowned. "You say that to me. Would you be apologizing if it really was Sunset Shimmer you had been caring for?"
Rosen sighed and nodded. "True, true. I am not fond of her; that is surely obvious to you. Yet, though you may not believe me, I would indeed still apologize to her were it truly her at the time. I allowed my emotions to cloud my judgment and my treatment was worse than warranted."
"Apology accepted. Thank you," Twilight looked forward. Is he leading me somewhere? Or does he just want to talk?
"I trust Sunset has been doing well under your tutelage?" Rosen asked.
"Well enough," Twilight replied. "There are still obstacles to overcome, but in time, she will do just that. We have hit a wall, currently. I keep an anti-magic charm on her neck to restrict her movements and negate her magic, and I’m trying to teach her about friendship. Trusting others, forgiveness, relying on them for help. It’s going well, but I think she’s ready for the next step."
"And what step is that?"
"I know she’s truly repentant and sorry, but do you think I can trust her?"
"I am not the pony to ask. My bias against Sunset is already proven. I can only recommend for you to use your best judgment, a foolish piece of advice itself."
Twilight thought for a moment, lowering her head and bringing a hoof to her mouth. "She still doubts herself, that’s the biggest obstacle to her growth now. I know my friends haven’t completely forgiven her, and that’s understandable, but they keep quiet about it around her. She’s hard enough on herself without others adding to it. Until she overcomes that, I’m not sure I trust her, or else she could relapse again. She might even be a danger to herself."
"Then what is the solution?"
Twilight lowered her hoof and looked up at Rosen. "Push her over that final hurdle and make her let go. She has to forgive herself. But I don’t know how to help her with that. She’s still so full of guilt for all she’s done."
Rosen nodded. "I thought as much. If you cannot assure forgiveness for Sunset from herself, then there is another party that may be of aid."
"You have something in mind?"
"I do."
Twilight tilted her head. "I thought you hated Sunset."
"That is a bit strong a word, ‘hate’. I do not hate Sunset, but you are correct in stating I do not care for her."
"Then why help her?"
Rosen came closer and looked down at Twilight, his eyes stern. "Because there is another mare we both know that is in anguish over Sunset’s actions. I believe that to heal one will heal the other. My affections for this other mare override my distaste for Sunset, and thus I find such a compromise acceptable."
Realization sparked in Twilight’s eyes and she nodded. "Tell me what you need."
Sunset poked a spoon into her fruit salad and picked up a cherry, slowly popping it into her mouth. They’re talking about me. I know they are. Rosen’s probably telling Twilight right now that I’m a waste of time and she should just get rid of me.
"Not hungry, Sunset?"
Sunset looked up and saw Applejack watching her. She swallowed the lump of cherry in her mouth. "Not really."
Rarity nodded. "Don’t worry, dear, we’ll be here all night, and the Canterlot kitchens will surely be happy to oblige."
Sunset looked back at her food and took hold of her fork, spearing several flower petals and stems. She bit into it and chewed slowly.
Spike eyed her as he polished off his own meal. He reached over and tapped a claw on her back. "Hey." Sunset turned to him. "She’s not bad-mouthing you. You know that, right?"
Sunset stared for a moment. "… Of course."
"He means it, Sunset," Fluttershy said. "You know Twilight is very supportive of all you’ve done."
"Yeah." Sunset finished off what was on her fork. She’s right. Twilight is trying to help you. She wouldn’t run off with Rosen to insult you. Rosen will have that covered on his own. Not that he’s wrong. I shouldn’t be here. I have no business being here.
The kitchen doors opened again, and Sunset looked up, expecting to see Twilight returning. Instead, a different alicorn entered the room.
"Greetings again, everypony," Luna stepped up to the table and looked over them. "I trust everything is well?"
"Yup, the food is great." Rainbow smiled and took a large bite of her meal. Rarity grunted in disgust and looked away.
Luna chuckled. "I’m glad to hear it. The ceremony will not begin until the morning, until then you may rest in your quarters. We also have various entertainment acts performing in the courtyard, if you like."
"Sounds swell. Thanks, Princess!" Applejack nodded at her.
"My sister is pre-occupied with the ceremony, so if anypony requires anything at all, ask a guard to retrieve me and I’ll do my best to accommodate you." Luna bowed her head and turned.
"Um… Princess Luna?"
Six pairs of eyes turned over the table and looked at Sunset. Luna looked over her shoulder and nodded. "Yes?"
"May I speak to you? In private, I mean."
"Certainly." Luna gestured her head forward. Sunset stepped away from the table and followed her into the hall. She didn’t look back as she left, but she didn’t need to. They’re watching me. They always are. Like everypony else. Watching, waiting to see if I slip up, if I do something wrong.
When Sunset stepped into the hall, Luna used her magic to click the door shut behind her. "How may I be of aid, Sunset Shimmer?"
Sunset looked at the wall, her eye twitching. "I… Twilight told me what you did. That you knew."
"I see. And?"
Sunset slowly looked up at Luna to see her giving her an impassive look. She gulped. "I just… why?"
"Why?"
"Why did you not tell Celestia? Why did you tell me all the things you did? Why did you try to help me?"
Luna nodded. "I see. Fair questions, I suppose. To the first, for the same reason I indicated to you on your departure from the castle; I wished to spare my sister the pain. She was quite distressed when she found out what had happened through Spike's letter, and I assure you it was not something I would inflict on her on purpose. I thought I could resolve the situation on my own, perhaps even without her knowledge. I was deeply mistaken, and for it endangered my sister's dearest students. I assure you, my sister had numerous choice words for me when we returned to Canterlot." She grimaced and darted her eyes to the side. "I have not heard her use the Royal Canterlot Voice so liberally since before my banishment."
"Okay… I guess that all makes sense."
"To the second and third questions, I wished to see how you took the information. I thought perhaps, with a bit of coaxing, you would confess your crimes and seek forgiveness. You only knew your side of the story, not Celestia’s or Star Swirl’s. I sought to enlighten you to these matters and so allow you to shift your perspectives. Beings that have committed more grievous crimes than yours have sought and found forgiveness before, Sunset Shimmer. I kept an eye on you from afar and afforded you a chance to do the same."
Sunset shuffled her hooves and nodded. "Right."
Luna looked away and let out a long breath. "However, I admit some responsibility for the deteriorating circumstances you found yourself in rests with me. I overestimated your mental discipline, and underestimated the side-effects of Waljiru Stones. They are so archaic I’d not even heard of them before this incident, and surely the dream magic you attempted under my direction only worsened those effects. Harsh truths came with your dreams, and I hoped my aid would allow you to suppress them and come to terms with those truths on your own terms."
"Didn’t quite work out that way," Sunset said bitterly.
"No, it did not. I cannot imagine the agony your mind was put through under this dual strain. I offer my sincere apologies for my misjudgment."
"It's all right. You…" Sunset gave her a small smile. "You were trying to help me."
"Yes, though I did a poor job of it." Luna peered down at her. "You are doing better now, though, are you not?"
"Twilight thinks so."
"You do not."
Sunset bit her lip and batted a hoof at the anti-magic charm, the black stone swinging under her head. "I don’t know. I don’t feel like I’m redeeming anything. Doing good deeds for Ponyville citizens doesn’t fix what I did to Twilight and Celestia. Or my old friends in the other world."
Luna hummed in her throat. "Do you know what I did to atone for my past as Nightmare Moon upon my return?"
"What?"
"Nothing."
Sunset looked up, surprised. "Nothing?"
"My sister told me there was nothing to be done to atone. She only ever desired to see me again, and I had given her that. I came to understand that redemption and atonement are in the eye of the beholder. I am sure some ponies would say that my deeds as Nightmare Moon should never be forgotten or forgiven, just as others would say it is in the past and dwelling on it will do no good."
Sunset tilted her head. "So, what are you saying?"
"I am saying that you are correct; nothing you do will make up for what you have already done. Redemption is not some sort of abstract where doing enough good deeds will wash out the ill ones. Only you can judge when you feel you have atoned for your actions, and others will judge in their own time just the same. Striving to achieve it will only worsen your guilt."
"I see…"
Luna smiled and stepped closer. "I believe a good first step to moving forward would be to reconcile with my sister."
"No!" Sunset shrank back and shook her head. "I can’t."
"Yes, you can. She misses you, Sunset Shimmer. You know this as well as I."
"No. She doesn’t want to see me. You know this, it’s why she didn’t greet us. I’ll just make her angry, or sad. I’ve caused her enough pain already."
Luna frowned. "Celestia, too, is prone to a guilt complex, irrational as it may be to blame herself for so much. Truly, you seem to take after her in this. I know better than most, Sunset Shimmer, that dwelling on one's past will only hinder their ability to realize the future. You will both be subject to this truth if you cannot forgive yourselves and each other."
"I…" Sunset backed away again. "I can’t. I’m sorry."
Luna frowned, but said nothing. There was movement behind Sunset, and Luna raised her head. Twilight rounded the corner and stopped beside Sunset.
"Is everything all right?" Sunset jerked at the voice and looked up at her.
"Quite, Twilight Sparkle." Luna nodded and stepped past them. "Please, the two of you return to your meal." Sunset turned her head to watch Luna go by, then looked to the other side when she felt Twilight’s hoof brush hers.
"Come on. We’ll finish eating and take a look at our rooms, okay?" Twilight said. Sunset nodded and followed her back into the dining room.
Twilight paced back and forth at the end of the hall, her eyes narrow. It’s a good plan, good, good plan. Just do as you discussed, and it’ll be fine… or they’ll come out worse than ever. She stopped pacing and gulped. I guess that’s the risk we have to take. She turned and headed down the hall. The two guard ponies she passed bowed their heads and Twilight stopped at the door at the end. She knocked on the door lightly. "Princess Celestia?"
"Come in, Twilight."
Twilight pushed open the door to Celestia’s room. Celestia was on the balcony, looking up at the moon. "Did I disturb you?" Twilight asked.
"Of course not," Celestia replied, looking at her. "What is it?"
"Nothing. I just wanted to see you." Twilight came onto the balcony and sat down beside her. "It hasn’t been that long since the Summer Sun Celebration was held in Canterlot."
"No, but our initial plans to hold it in Appleloosa fell through after a treaty negotiation with the buffalo went poorly. Next year, perhaps."
"That’d be good. My friends and I would be happy to help."
"Excellent. That would be appreciated."
The two alicorns fell silent and Twilight gave Celestia a sideways look. Celestia didn’t notice, and Twilight took a breath and looked forward. "She misses you." Celestia’s face instantly hardened over, but Twilight didn’t stop. "She doesn’t say it, of course. But I can tell. Whenever she’s in my room she looks at the painting of us and gets lost in it."
"Twilight," Celestia said, shaking her head.
"You’ve refused to speak to me about it every time I tried to write to you about it," Twilight replied, speaking louder to drown out Celestia’s protests.
"I told you it is a risk to keep her so close to you. You are putting everypony you love at risk from her, and you ask me to support you in this?"
"I ask you to support your two most faithful students."
Celestia sighed. "Please, not now, not on this night. Perhaps tomorrow, when the celebration is done and we will have time. But I will not speak to you of this now."
"You don’t have to. You can listen." Twilight steeled her nerves in case Celestia kept arguing or turned to leave, but she attempted neither. At least that’s encouraging. "She’s doing well. I’ve retreated the blockades on the castle. She’s free to move about as she wishes save for the alchemy lab, and she goes out into the village to run errands with Spike. She does what she can whenever she can to help those in the village. They don’t know about her past so most of them have welcomed her happily. They just see her as my new friend that likes to be helpful."
Celestia showed no response, so Twilight continued. "It took a while for my friends to get used to her. Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie understood, Rarity is at least courteous. Applejack and Rainbow Dash, they’re coming around. They don’t all accept her as a friend, but I think they’re starting to trust her. She’s eager to help them whenever she can, trying to do anything she thinks will help make amends. They let her. I think it’s good for her to do something redeeming, even if she didn’t actually do much to them. She seems to feel better after helping, at least to me."
Twilight looked down and sighed. "The first month was hard on her. There were days when I couldn’t get her to leave her bed for anything, not even meals. I come to see if she’s awake and find her crying and saying she’s wasting my time and she doesn’t deserve our friendship. She doesn’t have those days as often lately, but they happen. Then there are days that start off normal, but then somepony does something or says something, and she begins crying, or just walks away and hides in her room for the rest of the day."
Twilight walked in front of Celestia and looked up at her. "She terrifies me when she has those days. All I want for her is for her to have a normal, happy life, because she deserves at least that. But she keeps having these breakdowns, and when she does, not a book in the library can help me help her. All I know is that when she has one of these days, she shuts everything else out and just huddles in bed feeling sorry for herself. I don’t know why or when they happen, so I can’t stop them, and I can’t figure out how to make her feel better."
"Why are you telling me this?" Celestia asked softly.
"Because she needs you," Twilight whispered, giving her a pleading look. "The only way she can truly begin to heal is if she lets go of her pain. She hates herself, and no matter what I tell her, she thinks we should hate her, too. I can be her teacher, her friend, her confidante. But I can’t be her mother. Seeing as I can’t get through to her, that just leaves you. She needs her mother again."
"She does not need me. She hasn’t for years."
Twilight grunted and shook her head. "Are you sure she’s just your adopted daughter and not your biological one, because you’re both as stubborn as mules. Do you understand what I’m saying? She’s tearing herself to pieces on a regular basis because she can’t forgive herself for what she’s done, and the best way to break her out of that mindset is to set an example. Forgive her, for her own sake."
Celestia didn’t respond, and Twilight peered at her closely. "Unless you don’t feel that way."
"I wish it were that easy, Twilight. If all could be healed with words, Equestria would truly be a utopia. I do not know if I could forgive her or not, and it is not fair to her to make her reliant on words that may come out a lie."
Fine then. Time for Plan B. When it shows up. Twilight glanced at the door to Celestia’s room. After a few seconds, there was a knock, and she smiled. "Come in." The door opened, and Sunset slowly walked in the room.
"Forgive me, Princesses." She stopped and bowed her head. "Princess Twilight, I’m afraid Magistrate Rosen Cross has gotten into a dispute with Rainbow Dash over bedding arrangements. Rainbow Dash is threatening to hurl him out a window, and… used some colourful terms I don’t believe should be repeated in royal company."
"Very well." Twilight nodded and stepped into the room from the balcony. "I’ll go and take care of it." Twilight trotted past Sunset out the door.
"I’ll help you," Sunset said, moving to follow.
"No, no, it’s fine." Twilight stepped into the hall. "You stay here!"
The door slammed shut in Sunset’s face and she saw it glimmer violet afterward. Twilight had cast a sealing spell. Sunset sat down and stared at the door. She heard the muffled sound of Twilight’s hooves head down the hall and realized she had really been left here.
… She knew what she did…
The realization washed over Sunset like a bucket of ice water and she swallowed a lump in her throat. She turned her head to the balcony. Celestia overlooked Canterlot below, her rainbow mane streaming in the air behind her. Sunset took a deep breath and slowly stepped to the doors, her hooves like lead weights hanging from her body. After what felt like hours, though it was surely only a few seconds, she stood on the balcony, only a few hoof lengths separating the two of them.
Sunset kept her eyes trained on the polished stone beneath her hooves, waiting. There was no sound but for her breathing. She darted an eye up at Celestia. The Princess was still looking down at Canterlot, eyes focused ahead. Sunset slowly opened her mouth to speak, but then looked away and closed it. She tried again, but this time no sound came out. She let out a sigh and hung her head. The silence between the two continued to bore into her. Sunset looked up at Celestia, but she was still silent and motionless. Sunset closed her eyes.
"… Please look at me."
At the sound of her voice, Celestia flinched slightly. Her mouth quivered for a moment and she forcibly stopped it. After a moment of mental debate, she turned her head and looked down at Sunset. Sunset cracked her eyes open, and when she saw Celestia looking back she opened them fully. Before she could attempt to speak, Celestia did.
"If there is anything you wish to say to me, you’ll not find a better chance anytime soon."
Sunset nodded. "Yeah. Yes. I…" She tried to sort out her feelings and figure out what to say first. A thousand words were attempting to rush out of her mouth, and they caught in her throat and made her choke. She swallowed them back down and tried again. "I… I know nothing I say can make up for what I did. And there probably isn’t anything I can do, either. But… I’m sorry. For everything." Sunset lowered her head. "I can’t ask for forgiveness, I know that. I have a long way to go before I come close to deserving it. But please… I just…" Sunset sniffed back tears and couldn’t continue.
Celestia watched her former student impassively as she struggled to talk. When she was done, she turned away and fell into thought. Sunset hiccupped, and Celestia looked back at her. She hesitated only a moment before she raised her hoof and came closer. Sunset raised her head slightly as the golden hoofguards and pale hooves stopped in her field of view.
"Do you remember the last words you ever said to me?" Celestia asked. Sunset nodded. "For five years, every time I thought of you, I heard those three words ringing off the halls, and saw you glaring at me. Five years."
"I’m sorry," Sunset whimpered, her eyes tearing.
Celestia shook her head and sighed. "I wish to believe you, and on some level, I do. But in its own way, despair is no easier to be rid of than hate. You spent five years hating me, and I have spent five years mourning you. I did not merely mourn the loss of a daughter and heir. I mourned the loss of a kind, loving pony that I had allowed to become bitter and power-hungry without reigning her in before it was too late."
As Sunset looked up at her, Celestia bowed her head and closed her eyes. "I am sorry, Sunset. I am sorry I could not be the teacher and mother a pony like you deserved. I can only hope now that Twilight will succeed where I failed you."
"No!" Sunset shook her head. "Don’t apologize! You did nothing wrong. You loved me, you cared for me, you took me in when nopony else would. I betrayed everything you taught me, I ran away and left you alone. How can you apologize to me for what I did to you? I made my choices, and they were bad ones."
"Did you? Was it your choice to rarely see me in those final years as I devoted more time to Twilight? Was it your choice to be told about her and so spark the jealousy that would grow and consume you? Was it your choice to be sent away to live with a stranger for years as another student endeared herself to me? I made your choices for you, Sunset, and you paid the price of my mistakes."
Sunset looked away and batted a hoof at the charm over her neck. "Five years since we’ve seen each other. And all we can do is argue over which of us is more to blame for what happened."
Celestia gave her a sad smile. "Then we are truly mother and daughter, that you have taken after me to become so foolish and deprecating."
"We’re not going to get anywhere in this talk if we keep taking the blame for each other. How about we agree we’re both idiots who made bad choices?" Sunset raised her head.
"An acceptable affair. Agreed." Celestia nodded. The two mares stared at each other in silence for several seconds. Then, Celestia’s mouth twitched up. Sunset snorted and giggled, and the two burst into laughter.
"That really does sum us up, doesn’t it?" Sunset said through her laughing. "We’re both fools."
"Truer words have not been spoken for some time," Celestia said. Sunset looked up at her again. Celestia smiled, opened a wing, and gestured her head. Sunset ran forward and wrapped her hooves around Celestia’s front hoof, a new wave of tears falling from her eyes. Celestia gently brought her wing down over her and put her other hoof over Sunset’s back.
Sunset sniffed and hiccupped as her tears stained Celestia’s pale white coat. Her words were barely understandable through her sobs. "I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’ve missed you, I really did, I thought about coming back all the time to see you again, but I thought… I’m sorry."
Tears slowly rolled down Celestia’s face and dripped down onto the wing covering Sunset. "I have missed you as well. Not a day has gone by that I have not thought of you. I did my best to think only of the good times, and you provided plenty of them. You may not have become the princess I thought, but you have always been the daughter I wanted."
Sunset lifted her head from Celestia’s hoof and wiped her face. "I wish I could go back to that day five years ago and redo it all. I wouldn’t argue with you, I wouldn’t leave. I’d change everything."
"Such privilege is denied even to us princesses," Celestia said, kneeling down in front of Sunset. "No power of mine or yours can change what we have already done. But we can do our best to put the past behind us, so we can work together to create a better future. Together. "
"I’d like that." Sunset smiled.
"I love you, Sunset."
"I love you too, Mother."
Sunset hugged Celestia around the neck and Celestia lowered her head to nuzzle Sunset back. As they embraced, Celestia looked up over Sunset’s head. The door to her room was slightly ajar. She lifted her head from Sunset. "Twilight."
Sunset turned around. The door pushed open, revealing a very sheepish looking Twilight. "I’m sorry, I wanted to leave you two alone. But they’re getting ready for the ceremony down at the stage and somepony had to come get you."
"Of course." Celestia nodded and approached her. Sunset began to follow her, but Twilight raised a hoof and shook her head. She frowned and stayed on the balcony as Celestia and Twilight left the room. The door shut behind them. Sunset fidgeted and looked around. After what seemed like hours, the door opened and Twilight came back inside.
"Is everything alright?" Sunset asked.
"Quite." Twilight joined her on the balcony and gave her a smile. "Don’t be nervous, it wasn’t anything bad about you."
"Bad? About me?" Sunset laughed. "Whatever would make you think I was nervous?"
"Your eye."
Sunset put a hoof over her eye and frowned. "I wish it would go away."
"It will in time." Twilight sat down beside her and looked over the balcony at Canterlot below. Sunset glanced at her again.
"Was it your idea to have Rosen pick a fight with Rainbow, or his?"
"His," Twilight said casually. "We needed an excuse to allow me to leave. I assumed Rainbow would do the rest once Rosen provoked her."
"Well, I was there, it certainly worked." Sunset chuckled. Twilight just smiled. Sunset coughed slightly and looked away. "We talked. As you wanted, I assume."
"How do you feel?"
Sunset took a deep breath. "I feel… lighter. Like this tension I didn’t know I was carrying has just left in a rush."
"She forgave you, then."
"Yes and no. We’ve come to an understanding. Dwelling on our pasts will only bring us more pain. It’s time to move on with the future." Sunset smiled. "It’s a curious thing. For the first time in years, I truly feel like I have a future."
"I’m glad you feel that way, because I was talking to Celestia about you in the hallway. I think you’re ready."
Sunset frowned. "Ready for what?" In response, the anti-magic charm around her neck lit up pink and floated in front of her. Sunset inhaled sharply and brought up a hoof to pull it back down. "Twilight, no."
"Sunset…"
"No!" Sunset shook her head. "Please, I’m not ready. Maybe a little while longer, but not yet."
"You are ready," Twilight said, giving her a stern look. "I trust you, Sunset. You’re truly my friend as well as my student, even if you don’t see it that way. My friends trust you and Celestia agreed with my decision to do this. Everypony else has forgiven you. It’s time for you to forgive yourself and let go."
"What if I can’t?" Sunset shook, her eye twitching. "What if I do something to you? To one of your friends?"
"You won’t."
"I might."
"You won’t." Twilight sighed. "But I know I can’t force you to take that step. So, I figured out a compromise." She looked at the charm and focused. The glow over her horn grew brighter, and the stone shone, then dropped down. "There."
Sunset tried to lift the stone in her magic, but only felt a twinge in her horn. "What did you do?"
"I removed the seal that keeps you from taking it off. Wear it or don’t. It’s your decision to make, when you’re ready. But know that I trust you to make that decision on your own. You are your own pony, Sunset, for better or worse."
"I usually end up on the ‘or worse’ part of that saying."
"And this time?"
Sunset looked down at the stone and flicked at it with a hoof. "I guess we’ll see. Eventually." She looked up at Twilight. "I still have a long way to go. Just because I’m forgiven doesn’t mean everything is fine."
"Yes. There’s still many lessons to learn and they’ll only grow harder from here."
"They’ve been hard enough already."
"You’ll face them and triumph as you have so far." Twilight put a hoof over Sunset’s neck. "Remember this, above all else: you’re not alone. We’re each of us all here to help each other, no matter what. Me, Celestia, Rosen, my friends, Luna. We’re all here for you, and we’re not going anywhere. Whatever comes next for you, however much longer you stay with me, and no matter how bad things seem, we’ll always be there to help you through it. You’re a better pony than you realize, Sunset. And until you do, I’ll be right there beside you to remind you of it."
"Right." Sunset looked behind her at her flank. "It’s funny. Celestia said I was always her daughter even if I never became a princess. I always thought my cutie mark was a sign I would get the crown someday. Now I don’t know what to think of it."
"I do," Twilight said, drawing her gaze. "You were the daughter she could never have, the only one she could turn to after a millennium of waiting for Luna to return. Even if you didn’t become an alicorn, you made her realize there were good ponies out there worthy of Star Swirl’s ritual." Twilight smiled.
"You told me you got your cutie mark the day before the Summer Sun Celebration, the day I realized I wanted to be her student. I became the star that united the Elements of Harmony together, that brought forth the power of friendship. I think your sun is a mark of the light of hope. The hope for a new day and a new beginning. Celestia got the hope for a family, I got the hope to become her student. And now it’s the hope for you to experience a new beginning of your own."
"Hope…" Sunset smiled. "When you describe it that way, it sounds good." Sunset stood on her hind hooves to hug Twilight. "Thank you, Twilight. You’re a good friend."
"It is my pleasure, my faithful student."
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Justice3442 · 78k words · 408 18 · 11k views
- Piccolo Sky · 40k words · 66 5 · 2.2k views
- iml1994 · 3.4k words · 30 1 · 2.3k views
- stormfury12 · 14k words · 47 4 · 2k views
- Regina Wright · 4.6k words · 49 5 · 1.1k views
- LotusRaven · 1.3k words · 42 4 · 2.1k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.205 seconds
Total duration
794 users online
646,199 hits today, 2,156,967 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
...you did it. You actually did it. HOW THE *yay* DID YOU MANAGE TO TURN THIS INTO A SOMEWHAT HAPPY ENDING?!?!?!?!?!? This didn't feel contrived, over simplified, or like it was just pulled out of your *yay* like most other feel-good endings to sad fics do. Seriously, I could not have seen this hopeful ending coming. Bravo!
I decided to stop reading this epilogue halfway through and return to it later when I'm not in quite so sour a mood over Luna's self-righteousness. No surprise based on my prior comments that I didn't care for that. I was resigned to the idea that Luna knew what was going on, but I expected at least some measure of apologetic admittance in the end... Instead, she actually argued that everything was under control immediately following the scene where Sunset admits that Twilight barely avoided being beaten to death by her own hooves. And then here, she adds that she missed the little detail about the stone causing mental breakdowns of those affected by it... And still isn't the least bit apologetic about letting things play out, despite the fact that it was only Twilight and not her who kept things from ending in a complete tragedy.
Twilight literally had every single thing stolen from her, was locked away from everyone she held dear with no assurance of what was happening to her friends, to her relationships, to her reputation... And Luna thought she was fine where she was and likely enjoying it as a study session?
These two chapters keep stressing how serious and heinous Sunset's crimes were... That there is no socially acceptable punishment known short of execution or banishment. And Luna was an accessory to them, and literally did nothing to bring things to an end. It instead blew up in violence and almost killed Twilight. To show no remorse or humility in the face of that is sociopathic... And she is literally the only one involved who voices no deep regrets at all.
I've enjoyed the rest of this story greatly, so I'm stopping before the reunion scene between Celestia and Sunset. I'd like to read that with a better mindset, otherwise my last impressions of this story will be the ones that prompted me to get this off my chest.
...
I really liked this story, but I don't like the ending.
Rosen Cross and Celestia come off as an asshole and a dumb asshole, respectively. What they did to Sunset—Celestia abandoning her in favor of the shiny new student, Rosen generally being a dick, a bad teacher, a worthless mentor, and Celestia not even bothering to make sure that Sunset Shimmer was coping under Rosen—was terrible. Their actions were not borne of rage or a twisted, pressure-cooker upbringing, but simply neglect and thoughtlessness.
I've known students and teachers like Rosen, and they're fucking dementors. They suck the joy and soul out of everything and everyone around them. Being able to function with a mentor like that isn't a matter of mental ability, it's about having the same kind of sangfroid an army recruit has when a drill sergeant screams in his face for an hour and lets it all roll off him. It's a difficult relationship to maintain when you respect a person's work, when you want to work with them, but they happen to be a dick. Being pushed into a student-teacher relationship when you're not interested is just terrible for everyone involved, and for Celestia to just ship Sunset off like that was genuinely a horrible, pointless thing to do.
Celestia just can't stop acting like a stupid dick. First, she neglects her original student. Second, she shuts her ambitious, talented and cunning original student out of the career path she had expressly outlined for her. Thirdly, she does not talk with Sunset Shimmer and move this ambition into a different area, which should not have been difficult, since basically any door in Equestria is open for SS. Fourthly, she ships Sunset Shimmer off to live with a notorious asshole with no prior thought other than 'hey they're both clever I'm sure they'll work something out.' Fifthly, she doesn't bother to check up on Sunset Shimmer and make sure the mare she considered her daughter was thriving. Celestia is a shambles on every conceivable level. I know heroin addicts who paid more attention to their kids in college than Celestia did to Sunset Shimmer.
And like, in the end, Celestia apologizes—but it's not a real apology. I think you notice it if you've grown up around a certain type of shitty person, but Celestia takes a lot of angst without taking any responsibility. She does not attempt to make amends to the person she hurt the most, which is undoubtedly Sunset Shimmer. She wallows in 'woe-is-me' like a tormented thirteen-year old goth, but isn't galvanised by it. She shows no imagination whatsoever. Her response to the capture of the mare she considered her daughter, who had killed no-one, caused no permanent injury, and had harmed herself most of all in the confusion, is 'gee I guess banishment, maybe kill her? oh well.'
Celestia is a child who gets a dog for christmas, neglects it when the next shiny thing comes along, and allows it to turn half-feral. When the dog is returned to the house by a concerned friend, noting that the dog is stressed, angry, and malajusted, the child's only reaction is 'it'll have to go to the pound.' Celestia swings between callous moron and callous monster in her treatment of Sunset Shimmer.
She says sorry in the same way an emotional abuser says sorry. "I'm so sorry I let you go shopping alone when you're too dippy to remember what to buy," "I'm sorry I let you get so irrational without telling you to shut up," "I'm sorry you trusted that guy even though we could all see straight through him." It's not owning up to a personal mistake, it's seeing your terribleness and feeling bad about it. Celestia shows no contrition. She never censures Rosen for treating her foster daughter like shit. She never even talks to Sunset Shimmer before allowing her replacement to pass judgement.
(Let's not even get into how badly Celestia screws up Sunset's vocational education. She has a brilliant student, interested in statecraft, leadership, and applied magic. Celestia could have sent her to work with Fancy Pants, given her an entry-level position in the diplomatic corps with a good mentor, trained her as a spy—but no, she sends her to work with a theoretical magician who is famously difficult to get along with. GOOD PANRENTING, CAP'N ARSEWIPE!)
The way they treat Sunset post-capture is bizarre and unpleasant. They conclude she's 'obviously' a risk based on pretty much nothing. The natural conclusion is the opposite! She got her goal, to become a Princess of Equestria, and she hated it. It practically broke her. In any case, she's far less of a risk, in terms of both stability and power, than Discord, and yet they give her more restrictions than Discord had to put up with. She gets a magic blocker—something Twilight knows from personal experience is degrading, humiliating, and disabling for a unicorn—and is made the student and subordinate of her bete noire. Discord gets friendship whenever he's not actively being a dickhead. Sunset Shimmer gets held at arms length and treated with fear and suspicion—the exact combination of events that led to her turning bad, twice.
Don't get me started on Luna. Ugh.
I think the best way to sum it up is with a comparison: Robert Oppenheimer, the creator of the atomic bomb, tried to poison his academic adviser while he was a student at Cambridge. With real, actual, kill-your-ass poison. Oppenheimer confessed before his teacher took the poison, and after a meeting with the disciplinary board, they put him on probation, with regular psych reviews. A decade later, he was put in charge of one of the most ambitious science projects known to man, one that required the collaboration of experts from mechanical engineering, electrical engineering, chemistry, aviation, logistics, experimental and theoretical physics, a feat so difficult that even today only a handful of nations can hope to accomplish it, and built a goddamn nuke. Freakin' Britain and America gave that dude a second chance, the same nations that respectively castrated Allan Turing and keep 22% of the world's prison population.
So why in Equestria, this wonderful land of sunshine and candy, is a brilliant mind being treated so low?
5818427 That's a lot to reply to. I'll begin by saying, you're not fully wrong with Rosen and Celestia being poor for Sunset's development. Rosen was not always such a dick to Sunset, and in hindsight I should have given more flashbacks to make that clearer. When he's not stuck with a student he loathes, he's stern and introverted, but not cruel. The catch was that, that wasn't the type of mentor Sunset needed. She was learning how to be a good politician rather than a good person, and when it comes to being a princess, both are important.
I think you got the chain of events in Sunset's past confused, though. After deciding to train Sunset as a princess, Celestia sent her to live with Rosen Cross to study the subjects that will prepare her for that. After an unspecified amount of time, the involved parties realized this wasn't working out and Sunset went back to live with Celestia and Celestia tutored her personally again, but spending less and less time with her due to Twilight's education taking precedence since Luna's unsealing was approaching in a few years.
Beyond that, you're right, Celestia does not think clearly when it comes to Sunset and makes terrible decisions regarding her, she's too emotionally involved to think clearly. That's why the ending has Twilight taking over from Celestia, because she sees Sunset in a different way than her or Rosen. Twilight isn't Sunset's mother or mentor, she's trying to be Sunset's friend, and that's what she needs right now.
The last point I'll note, in regards to Sunset pursuing other paths beyond princess-hood, that is an idea I've had for a sequel that I may or may not write, probably not. Essentially, Rosen is set to retire, and Sunset becomes a candidate to become the new Royal Archmage.
Otherwise, I know the ending is polarizing, and it's not unfair to think so at all, I realized it would be. I'm glad you enjoyed the rest of the story, though, and thank you for taking the time to read it.
5818479 Fixed on both counts, thanks.
5818427
I find myself agreeing with your general sentiment there. Ultimately, nobody is just born rotten. We all make our own choices, but those choices don't grow from a vacuum. With the most relationship-oblivious adoptive mother anyone could have (*cough*Luna*cough*Nightmare Moon*cough*) raising her, making her love and idolize her, telling her she was destined to be the immortal god-princess of a whole nation just like dear mom every day of her life, effectively completely bungling up her moral education in every sense, could she really have turned out any differently?
One thing many parents forget is that children are stupid, but they're also perceptive. They notice when you aren't really practicing what you preach. Sending your daughter and heir off to the middle of nowhere because you found a more fitting replacement instead, only to tell her in a fit of pique that she isn't adequate for the one thing she lived her whole life preparing for (to the best ability her limited education granted her,) is not what I would consider a good example.
It's why the constant assertions that Sunset is a terrible person really rankles me a bit. Yes, she's spiteful, bitter and full of hatred, but after that kind of betrayal, how isn't this a perfectly natural and reasonable defensive reaction? Everything she ever cared about was taken away from her in one sentence; it's frankly a testament to her moral character that she didn't do much, much worse than become a schoolyard bully. I know I would have.
When Celestia says that exercising the lightest touch that she could was the best thing she ever did for Twilight, it's the only thing she says in the entire story that I really agree with. In the end, the whole thing is her own damn fault, and nobody else's.
RIP indenting
I enjoyed the ending and loved the story, but I do agree with Harwick regarding Luna. I can see where some of her arguments make sense, but a lot of what Harwick said makes more sense. I feel like that sequence could have been handled better.
5818547 whoops. Indents fixed, thanks.
I am not fan of "Twilight forgive all your sin". I kinda expected Twilight to force Celestia to handle and talk with SS just after her capture and just stay away from SS. The only thing I like is Twilight's friend reaction. It's hard to trust someone that betray you just for her own ambition.
But Celestia reaction is correct, SS is a treat, she is a ruler of a nation and her personnal feeling came after Equestria.
"Best part of story, 10/10" -IGN
I really liked this story, but yeah. Luna and Celestia both are horrible. Luna behaves like a Tyrant, not even realizing that she did something wrong, much less apologizing. And Celestia just completely fails at social interaction. Good thing Sunset was only an alicorn in training, else we'd had gotten a Nightmare Sunset.
Twilight saved the day pretty much on her own.
5818673 ?
Hmmmm, Twilight could have been jealous and attacked Sunset to be Celestia's daughter, hmmmm. I guess since she is all grown up now all Twilight can do is marry Sunset and become Celestia's daughter-in-law.
I liked the story, but there were issues. Many of which Chuckfinley touched on. I also have no time to think of anything better to say since I have procrastinated hardcore on a project.
And that's a wrap!
Expanding on my review for the last chapter, you take it higher and farther. I really started to get Rainbow-Rocks vibes from Sunset and, even though she still isn't as good as she was in that movie, the lack of confidence and genuine kindness reminded me of that movie. You fix up loose-ends like confronting Rosen, Sunset questioning why Luna never said anything, leading up to the moment with Celestia.
Will this be a very polarizing finale? absolutely. I can completely understand why someone wouldn't like it given that the story, as a whole, is still a very dark and depressing one. You do your best to make this ending flow, but I can see someone still wanting Sunset to face 'justice' for what she has done. Admitting, my own interest in this route comes from my attachment to the character and wanting her to have a happy ending....or at least, the best ending underneath all the circumstances.
And it honestly was: the "phoenix rising from the ashes" is truly becoming a recurring theme of her character (and even canonically as I'm sure we all saw!). Sunset failing to be the princess she wanted to be, but rising to be a good friend and shining in her own light is something I'm seeing more and more from authors. It's quite a uphill battle, but after she hits rock-bottom she begins to stop comparing herself to Twilight and letting go of what she could have been. She needs friends infinitely more than she needs a crown, and while she doesn't quite have the destiny she thought she would have, she's still an irreplaceable part. Particularly in this story in holding a place in Celestia that Twilight can never touch.
I really liked the messages in this story, such as redemption/justice being what you want it to be, and that forgiveness doesn't mean forgetting. Nothing ultimately can wipe away what Sunset kept doing, but she and everyone else is making the effort to grow from it and move on. Beyond time-travel, that's simply the best outcome anyone can possibly hope for. For all her ambitions, it's true that there really wasn't anything that Sunset did that touches the horrors of Discord's chaos or plunging the world into eternal nightfall -- it only seemed that way because Sunset was much closer to everyone's hearts. If a malevolent being like Discord can be reformed (and is in this story, as we recall), there simply must be hope for Sunset as well.
Will this be enough for some readers? No, it won't, but hopefully they can still enjoy the ending for what it's worth. Ultimately, "hate begets hate' as was said, and while banishment may be the punishment Sunset deserves, friendship is ultimately what she needs.
I don't know if there is much more I can say! Celestia and Sunset was my favorite part, and it was surprising to see Twilight touching upon her cutie-mark. She may not be an Alicorn Princess, but Sunset is truly irreplaceable and it wouldn't surprise me to ultimately see her wielding the magic of friendship from the direction this story goes. It may not be to everyone's taste, but I personally couldn't ask for a better ending.
It's been a crazy ride! congratulations on completing this story after so long! I look forward to what you do next!
5818717 I actually really wanted to squeeze in a phoenix metaphor to Twilight and Sunset's final conversation to reference the vid (which is AMAZING SUNSET MAI WAIFU U SO <3), but doing so required torturing the imagery to make it work, and I thought it was fine how I had it already anyway.
5818737
You were honestly expressive enough in the imagery as it is, so it was the right choice in not going any further :).
5818774 What Twilight has done is beyond forgiveness. Sunset's crimes are one thing, but bumping into a princess? Inexcusable!
5818678
Author's note at the bottom of this chapter.
5818814 Okay, I just didn't get the IGN reference.
Well, now I feel empty. Excellent finale for an excellent story. I really enjoyed the ride. This is one of those fics where if I noticed it has updated I immediately dropped everything and read it. Definitely in my Top Ten of Sunset fics and Top Hundred of all MLP fics.
One thing is still unclear though: What about the human world, especially with regards to the sirens?
Then again it isn't really fair to expect you to explain that after the fact as this story began a while before Rainbow Rocks came out.
5818390
5818427
Well said, both of you! I honestly enjoyed the ending, but your thoughts are very well articulated and I see exactly where both of you are coming from. Luna indeed was messing around with Twilight's life, and while she assured that neither her or Sunset were in danger, I'm pretty sure that wasn't how Twilight felt when Sunset was beating her face in.
Well, I liked this. While there were parts that could have been better like Celestia's role in all this, it was still very much in tone with the spirit of MLP. Personally I would have liked to know a bit more about what went wrong on the Canterlot High-side of the mirror.
I don't get all the criticism for Luna. Her reasons for letting things play out are still better than any we get in the show for Celestia being idle when the going get tough.
And this.
All my yes. Because sometimes we get what we don't deserve.
While I loved the ending, I agree with everyone else that Luna was way out of line. Her justification was that she wanted to let them get through it themselves and grow. In my eyes, that's like watching your kid get bullied at school and doing nothing because "it builds character". Twilight almost died! Sunset lost her mind there for a while! And she doesn't show the slightest bit of remorse that she didn't try to put an end to it when she had the chance.
Despite the way this sounds, it's actually not a point against the story. Really, it's only a point against Luna because the whole thing was well written and justifiable for her character.
First things first: CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! *showers of flowers and cookies rain upon your household* You actually FINISHED a lengthy, detailed fanfiction! That is a FEAT, few enough writers can manage it. Be very proud of that accomplishment alone!
Not that you don't have plenty ELSE to be proud of. I am really impressed with this story; I usually aim for fics with a comedy element, but your concept intrigued me. You pulled me in from the start with an intriguing opening. There were plenty of interesting twists, and you inserted a lot of interesting character development; both Twilight and Sunset were interesting to watch and learned a lot about each other in a way that kept me wanting to see where things would lead. (I especially looked forward to Twilight's parts, if only because her situation of being in magical tutor house arrest and learning about Sunset's previously unknown backstory AND escaping provided a lot of interesting material!) The bit about the Waljiri(sp?) stone causing Sunset's mental instability and hallucinations was an excellent and unexpected explanation for something that might not have made sense on its own. I like the character interactions and your development of Celestia's relationship with Sunset, and I didn't realize Luna was aware of the situation until that hint after her conversation with Celestia. Dang, but you did a great job of keeping secrets and revealing things at a great pace!
And MAN, what a great ending! You really made Twilight shine as the Princess of Friendship! And it wasn't cheesy at ALL, which is not always the case. XD; You took a sad story with a really unfortunate character, brought her through a really hard situation mentally and physically, and successfully broke her through to the other side of realizing her faults and her need for redemption. There were some really valuable and relatable lessons in this: the blindness of jealousy, understanding one's enemies, forgiveness of those who've wronged you and forgiving yourself, reconciliation, hope in dark times, the difficult but powerful act of being someone's friend past all deserving. Dangit, dangit, dangit, I am just SO IMPRESSED with your work on this! There are so many good points! You should be really proud; you kept the characters pretty well in character, stayed true to the show canon as far as I can tell (and a little bit of comic canon), had a really solid writing style with very few technical errors, and YOU FINISHED IT!!!
(P.S. I was pleased and amused at the irony that you chose one of the few MLP comic canons I know of, because I learned about that whole alternate-Sombra thing just a few weeks ago thanks to a fancomic online. XD It was nice to know what was going on!)
Well done, I say. I hope you'll write more in the future! Great job!
I like this ending, allot, I think it was a pretty fitting way to wrap it all up. I'm not sure I buy the punishment part of the Sunset is punished and forgiven thing, it seems closer to therapy, but I can live with that. I admit part of me feels she's getting off easy, but that's in keeping with the spirit of the show and the moral of the fic itself so I'm willing to get behind it.
But this story does have one huge flaw, Luna, she comes across as very self righteous and dismissive of Celestia and Twilights mental anguish, and just generally unlikeable, and I find her conduct deplorable, irresponsible (Twilight nearly died during the final battle you idiot, do you not get that) and a bunch of other mean words. I could write a lengthy rant about how much I despise her portrayal in this fic. I admit I'm tempted to downvote it for that reason alone, frankly I think its bad enough to justify it.
But ultimately there's enough stuff I liked that I'm going to keep the rant to myself. I'm going to unfavorite this one since I don't think I'll ever want to read it again (because I'd have to reread this unctuous version of Luna again) but I'm glad I did read it,
It's funny, but Luna's actions are something I actually agree with, in this case. She's in a position to know exactly what resentment can do to a person and was in a similar situation not too long ago, so it makes sense that she'd feel like she owes it to Sunset to at least give her a chance. It's not like she actually put Twilight into serious danger or discomfort, after all. Rosenkreuz (that ought to be one word, by the way) was being a bit of a dick to her, but not actually cruel or abusive in any way, so she was not exactly in a position of unbearable hardship. If not for the context of the situation, she probably would have loved it there.
Mind you, I wouldn't appreciate having that kind of thing done to me, either, but I understand her reasons for doing it.
5822540 Well, Rosen Cross was a reference to both Rosenkreuz and the Rose Cross, so it works either way. And I didn't want the reference to be too obvious.
5822689
Oh, right, you didn't actually spell it "Kreuz." Sorry, my mistake. I'm so used to constantly switching between English and German these days, I tend to forget which language I'm using if I don't pay attention.
Such a great GREAT story DrakeyC. Hope you can make a sequel :P
In a seriousness, that was one big epilogue. I read this part and I was in awe of feels as Celestia and Sunset reconciliate with each other. In a way, I hope one day Sunset can become a great character (and great waifu) for years to come.
Also, good thing you elaborate about Celestia-Sunset' (Step)mother-daughter background on the author notes. Reading ch 15 with the daughter surprised me. Probably because I never caught that word on previous chapter.
Applause to DrakeyC to finish a fic. I've seen quite a lot of unfinished fic these days.
Loved it. One of my favorite fics of all time.
5821534
5818390
5818547
5818896
A blanket note, I went back and adjusted the Luna scenes a big. I agree she came off as much more self-righteous and aloof about the whole thing than I intended. Being I revised other parts of the story before on feedback, I figured I may as well tweak this too.
5828830
I think the small adjustments worked well (at least in the Sunset/Luna conversation in the Epilogue; I didn't go to check the others).
5828830 It's much better...but I still am bothered by the whole thing. In fact, ironically perhaps, now that Luna has apologized for some of her scheme, but not all of it, I find myself with new reason to dislike her, because re-examining the parts of her scheme she didn't apologize for I find they were in fact far more offensive than I originally realized.
Firstly I find Luna is to dismissive of Twilights ordeal, I mean she had her body stolen, and even if she got it back that's still a horrible traumatic experience, as well as (briefly) being imprisoned (however nicely), but Luna acts like its no big. Then there's the fact that while under Rosen's care she had no way of knowing how long her imprisonment would last or what was happening to her friends, and so had to live with constant fear and guilt, which Luna also dismisses. Moreover, it was entirely unnecessary, there was no good reason for Luna to leave her with Rosen at all, she could have just retrieved Twilight right away, and then tried and talk Twilight into agreeing to going along with the wait and observe plan, thus giving Twilight some agency in her own life, not treating Twilights life/body/freedom as meer objects that can be stripped from her and given to another to teach that other a lesson. Because that's Luna's biggest crime, not sub-optimal handling of the situation, but treating Twilights' life as a tool to reform substance without ever bothering to consider that it is Twilights life and that she had some rights too, instead just leaving Twilight to endure what was (from Twilight's perspective) a terrible ordeal and then brushing it off by saying no "permanent harm" was done, as being stripped of ones body/identity is no big deal as long as one gets it back intact, or as if it's okay to have Twilights rights to freedom and self determination be violated (temporarily or not) in order to benefit Sunset Shimmer.
Because even if everything had gone exactly as Luna had planned, she still would have committed a great wrong against Twilight, but she only apologizes for the failings of the scheme rather than ever conceiving it in the first place. I could forgive her given she motivated by a desire to help Sunset Shimmer (who reminds her of herself and all) but only if she accepted blame for everything, rather than brushing off the loss of Twilights body as a temporary inconvenience.
So yeah, basically I think she needs to apologize more and defend herself less.
5829351
Oh wow, what a terrible trial for her to go through.
derpicdn.net/img/2015/3/8/844918/full.jpg
I'm alright with how things ended with Sunset... Admittedly, I already liked the character, so I may be inclined to see her redeemed anyway, but her misery over her own actions is a good indication of her current character. The story does a good job of convincing me that it's not that she's upset at just how things worked out, but true remorse and self-loathing, and as a result there's no need or use for more punitive efforts at her rehabilitation. Equestria doesn't seem the place for punishment for punishment's sake anyway (especially when the victim herself doesn't want it administered.).
But I also agree with the precautions they took with her, and the wary nature of some involved. This was far from a first offense, and not even the first time she likely tried to kill Twilight (if that "This is the last time you get in my way!" speech she made as a demon was any indication of her intentions when she blasted human-Twilight with that final spell.)
I thought the reconciliation between Sunset and Celestia went as well as could be expected. They both admitted to screwing up, but it ultimately doesn't absolve Sunset of the choices she made, which seems right to me. There is only so much responsibility I can lay on a parent for not being perfect.
5828830
The changes definitely help in lessening my desire to see Luna punched in the face. I could more easily forgive Sunset before, as she was miserable over her mistakes while Luna apparently felt completely in the right for her role in things... Smugly so. Showing at least some remorse is much more palatable.
I was glad to see the "Celestia does this all the time" argument dropped by her as well, as I didn't think that was a very strong point based on my view of the show itself. I have no issue with the Princesses not swooping down to handle things themselves and treating them as learning opportunities for others, but in all of those situations Twilight had a choice to participate and put herself at risk. Here, Luna decides on her own to gamble with all of Twilight's life in the hopes that it will pay off for Sunset Shimmer and her Sister. She may have done all she could to mitigate the risk, but it was obviously still a factor considering how it all exploded in violence at the end. Ultimately, there was no reason that she couldn't have gone to Twilight and pled her case to let things play out, giving Sunset a chance to make it right while the two of them kept careful watch... Well, no reason except that Twilight might have said "no." But again, it should have been her choice to be able to do so.
So I can't absolve Luna's actions in the story... They're just morally wrong on that level. But at least now she doesn't come across as sociopathicly arrogant in her explanations. I'm glad that Celestia gave her a Canterlot Royal Voice level tongue-lashing though.
All in all, I quite enjoyed the story as a whole and am glad to see how things worked out in the end for Sunset and Twilight. I'd be interested in reading a sequel should one come around, but for now thanks for writing and sharing this one!
I just checked out the changes!
I...hope I didn't come out as pushy. If you feel the changes genuinely improved upon the story than it's a wonderful thing we could help. I can't help but be concerned when I see the author for a story making changes to there story in the face of many people clamoring for it!
But if you genuinely feel comfortable making these changes, than I'm happy for you :). It's nice to see Luna being a bit more sympathetic and level-headed. With the re-write, it feels more like her heart was in the right place and she genuinely was simply trying to help everypony not unlike her All-Powerful Bystander sister does. Before...it was the same way, but she came out as more detached about the consequences of her (in)actions which was what upset everyone.
Once more, thank you very much for this exciting story and I can't wait to see what you cook up next ^__^
5832433 I definitely made these because I wanted to. I re-read the chapters and yes, realized Luna came off more smug and detached than was intended. I felt perhaps I went a bit too overboard making her apologetic, but then it isn't unwarranted. I changed nothing regarding Celestia, however. Contrary to all the hate for her from the comments, I depicted her as I wanted her to be depicted, and am comfortable with the final product on that end.
5832460
I don't think Luna is overboard in being apologetic now. If anything, she should with how she played with the lives of both of Celestia's students. Sunset was about to kill Twilight, and Luna could have stopped this. Being over-apologetic about letting things go that far is much better than being detached and confident about her choices.
I had no problem with Celestia before so I don't have any problem now. I can understand why people were upset with how Celestia treated Sunset throughout this story, but changing that changes the very dynamic of the relationship. Ultimately, Celestia made a lot of mistakes. Sunset made a lot of mistakes. The answer to mending there relationship lies in both of them admitting that and that's exactly what happened.
You don't necessarily have to be happy with a character's decisions for it to be a good story. The most ideal outcome in Equestria would be if nothing ever happened at like Sunset said. Celestia instead essentially built Sunset up to be a Princess through her entire life and than pulled the rug from underneath her. Sunset doomed herself many times over and had to suffer a grand defeat in two worlds for her to see her errors.
They are both idiots and simply can't be separated from one another XD.
5829870 Not sure what the point you're trying to make is, if it's that Luna has suffered terrible ordeals (including possibly having her body highjacked by the Nightmare, depending on how you interpret those events) as well...I'm not saying no. That's true, but it doesn't somehow make her actions okay, having suffered (and maybe been stripped of her freedom) in the past does not give her the right to ignore the suffering and false imprisonment of Twilight in the present. I stand by my original complaint.
5832920
I'm just trying to maybe give you a slight teeny little idea of why Luna might think it's no big deal.
5832979 Okay, but...so what? The fact that Luna has (understandable) reasons for not recognizing the gravity of what she did does not lessen that gravity, and the fact that no one ever calls her out on the this specific aspect of her actions is still a black mark against the story. As I said in my earlier post I could easily have forgiven Luna had she been forced to recognize (and show remorse for) all of her failings, and part of the reason I'd be willing to extend such forgiveness is because I recognize that her perspective on these sorts of things is (understandably) somewhat hazy (and that she was ultimately well intentioned). But because only parts of her wrongdoing were dealt with and the rest of her misdeeds ignored it leaves the character and that part of the story somewhat askew, too much so for me to enjoy. Sunset too had sympathetic cause for her choices, but the fact that she had reason to think it was okay to steal twilights body didn't make it so, and the story never uses her distorted perspective to excuse her mistakes. While she is shown mercy in the end she's still called to make a full accounting for everything she did. I felt the same happened to Luna, all her bad decisions, including and perhaps most especially the ones she thought were harmless/justified, needed to be redressed. So no, I don't think your point about Luna having reason to believe this was no big deal makes a difference.
I don't think the new dialogue is an improvement, honestly. Besides my personal opinion that self-righteous and aloof is simply who Luna is (and also the specific character flaw of hers that has put her into her current situation to begin with) it isn't very well-written. The edit makes her attitude flip-flop between conviction, contrition and back again within the span of three paragraphs, which is just too sudden to seem sincere. You can still see the stitches, so to speak.
5839631 Check, and thank you for your honesty. I don't promise things will change much, but I'll take another look at Luna's scenes and see what I can do.
5839639
It's only her actual apology in chapter 15 that immediately stood out to me as so visibly out of nowhere that it had be one of the edits. Whatever other changes you made seem to fit in seamlessly enough as they are, at least to my eyes. Just wanted to clarify that.
5839682 Okey dokey lokey.
So..... What happens between the end of this story and the beginning of Rainbow Rocks? Why would Sunset return to the other world after all this, and how did she reconcile being Twilight's alternative friends? In addition, since that portal only opens up once every two and a half years, that would mean Sunset would spend a very long time over there. How does that work out with her relationship with everypony else in Equestria?
5843332 RR is not canon to this story.
Interesting ending, I expected it to be worse concerning sunset shimmer but it's fine to me and the feels with sunset shimmer and Tia, you got me with that. Overall I really liked the fic.
This fic...
33.media.tumblr.com/0412b5303f4a2aec24c5ef0c6111fcd4/tumblr_ncw80dl8oN1txeloqo1_500.gif
Great story!