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Rainbow befalls a horrible accident and finds herself in the hospital, but when shes tormented by horrors of another realm will she be able to fight the rising darkness or fall to its embrace?
He who waits behind the wall shall one day come for us all.
Are we awake?
or is it a dream?
But for who has yet to be seen.
Not all things are as they seem
like the beauty of a Nightmare,
or the pain of Dream.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I'm... not sure if I want to track this or not.
Well, it's a brilliantly written story at any rate. Thumbs up and if I happen across it again... *Sighs* then I'll track it. Only reason I'm not now is 'cause psychological horror scares me and it's an hour off midnight here.
EDIT; It's official, I'm insane. I actually went looking for this. Hesitantly tracking.
Yikes...this is amazing and scary. Just...yikes.
421026>>423940
o.o my first horror fic with positive reviews and yay shadow!!! chap 2 is in the works!!!...when I write the story progressively gets darker.. and at this rate dash will be sedated back into a coma XD
Love it. I've always been a fan of the horror genre. <3
out of five.
Tracked <3 I give it four
Did I mention I am loving?
(Grimly) I'd come to the same conclusion as Dashie long ago. That or death, but there's no real way for Death to be evil. A few mistakes (their/there) but still pretty decent.
Not as disturbed today. Maybe 'cause reading during the day.
Loving. Absolutely. This one gets
Because of devil guy and awesome creepy imagery
I love this story!
But this one wasn't as scary as the last one, step up your game! And keep up the good work! Four and a half out of five! 
What just happened?
They they all just buy it?
WHAT ARE WE DEALING WITH?!
431364
Continue onward and venture into the dark,
It gets Darker as we make are way down...
Behind the wall, the truth to be found.
"My little Dashie, My little Dashie..
she's dead and gone...
My little Dashie,
Don't you want to join along?
A world of madness, aint it neat?
And your death would make it all complete....
My little Dashie,
Don't you know that this is you're end?"
i laugh out lound at this. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
434111
in a good way i hope XD
434121mostly in a "contemplating buying myself a strait jacket and getting rid of all sharp objects within reach" way.
434130
ahem....
Mission accomplished
434135 there are still patches of rebels here and there...
OBSCURE REFERENCE TO POLITICS
434139
any thoughts on the content other than my original lyrics XD I have fun making the shit up he says believe me...hes lyrical gold
434151 good. very scary. i like a good dark fic every know and then. this more than satisfied the quota.
Now it has Rainbow AND Twilight!
This is getting more twisted with every paragraph.
Well, I think I've seen enough to tell you what needs doing.
The writing is a mess. It's mostly obscure grammar and form, as well as missing commas here and there, but it makes the writing itself quite flat and difficult to read. There's also some formatting issues, where there's an awkward line break in the middle of a sentence.
In general, the most common thing I'm seeing is run-on sentences and tense switches, which are easy to rectify and just as easy to miss. I recommend running this past a pre-reader/editor, just to get a fresh set of eyes on it.
This has the potential to be really creepy, but the flat, messy writing takes away from it a little. It needs a significant polish, but I think it'll be well worth the effort.
I don't know what to think. On one hand, it's well written despite the occasional grammatical error (Though considering it was with... whatever was impersonating Dashie, it fits) and shows them as alive even after death, giving some sense of hope it'll end up alright. Truly, TRULY hoping it has a positive ending despite all so far.
On the other hand... the mane 6 are DYING and no-one's doing a damn thing to help anyone. Not even Celes, would've thought she'd caught on by now. Plus that thing seems to be the very embodiment of pure insanity, so I think I'll stick to madness from now on.
So ultimately this is fucked up, but too good not to follow. Kudos mate.
... If it's not lord of the flies, chances are it can't send the mane 6 to hell. Even if it could, none of them deserve it anyway, even if Dashie did something she can't remember or didn't mean to do, still can't be held against her.
I̸ͫ͜͏̼̱̫͎͈ͅt̠͉̗͇̦̻̳͙̏̓ͣ͜
̡̤̘̩̔̽̈́ͯ́į̥̣̝̗̎͂ͬ͛̊̐͢ş̠͙̳̋ͣ
̻̫̤̻̪̭̗ͯͥ̊̽͑ͩ͌ͥ͡Z̧̲̺͍̞̰̩̖̪̽ͦ͊͡a̫̼̤̭̋̓̈̾̎̑́l̷̪̞̗̯̥̦̦̎̏̾͑̌̊̆̕ͅg͍̦̔̃͌̽̊͝o̱̯̞͖̼ͩ̃ͣ̽̅͂.̹̯ͭ̄̉ͭ̑̉ͪ͜
438584
She cried out in pain from the sudden pain in her otherwise dead body, Un ready for what was in store.
her body was not ready!
Snap,
Crackle,
POP
suddenly, the marshmallow turned into cereal.
yeah. i have no soul, but i learnt that souls are overrated!
edit: reading this while listening to dubstep is fun.
Four down, two to go.
This is just chilling in every sense of the word. Freddy Krueger himself salutes you.
Oh my...dude.This story,is fucking perfect.From beginning to end,it's perfect.
The idea that Rainbow Dash is trapped in a dimension unlike ours and her friends being killed one by one by this demon (Which I can guess...is ZALGO,as I see the references of it living behind the wall) who we still don't know why it's doing this to them, and why it chose her.This story is basically creepypasta standards,and I love it.
Keep up the writing 8D!
441169
I thank you for your kind words and for those concerned regarding the lack of people caring.. don't fret the fun's not over yet.
441412
You're very welcome :3.And I knoow it isn't 83.I wanna seee mooaaar!
441433
Also if there is a way to make a creepypasta please do so or tell me how to do so
Shut up.
I did too read this.
445491
Thanks for the rating <3 I love the complements.
I am pleased with this and chapter 6 is in the works as I type. I really would like to see this story get more views, any ideas on how to spread the word of the one and only pony that lurks behind the wall?
>>mareinthemoon
Posting the news on other social networks? (Facebook, Tumblr, DeviantArt, etc.)
more back story than gore, there will be a full backstory fic released soon.
So, this thing pretty much started out like Lucifer? And it's responsible for both Discord AND Nightmare Moon? Wow.
Review time!!
Wow...um...just wow.
Okay, I have a few things to say. Let's just start with the constructive criticism, just to get it out of the way.
1) It seems you have a few run-on sentences. It's kinda odd. These sentences lose your interest a little bit, and with no commas or breaks, makes it hard to focus.
2) The grammar overall isn't too hot. I liked the story, but the grammar and formatting seems so loose and uncontrollably, making the actual story lose great appeal. I would suspend this for a while and get an editor, trust me. They're all very nice and helpful, it just makes everything better.
Now on to the positive!
1) Okay, this was downright scary. *shudder* I love Dash, so it really made it hit home that much more. Idiot know why, but I just can't put this down! The story has a great horror quality, which makes it so much more sad and scary.
2) Even though your structure isn't good, and the appeal takes a certain taste, your description was nice. It wasn't too descriptive and laboring, which most authors do. It also wasn't plain out simple, either. I think you found a really nice happy-medium that made it very enriching and detailed in its own way, which is hard to do. Nice job.
Overall I would give it a...
3/5 Scoots.
You could easily early those last two if you got a pre-reader or editor. Trust me, it will help so much and you'll definitely get more positive feedback.
-GiddyOnUp
Oh shit....Dash became the next ZALGO....I smell a scary sequel :D.
The story is fricken great mean,from beginning to end.I urge you to continue this story style,I did feel bad for Dashie though
.She couldn't get a break from all of this 
!Let's hope that when the knocking is heard...Dashie will end the world 
!
I GIVE IT....5/5 TWILIGHT.
467331
This is a part of a forming multi section story. the prequel is in the works and soon will follow a sequel or two. after I will release all parts into one big story
467350
Well I'm looking forward for them =)!More ZALGO PONIES!SOMETHING FOR ONCE NOT RELATING TO LUNA GAME.
467359
hell i make zalgo even more epic!! he needs no luna...luna needs him!!! lol
467374
XD Haha!YES!!
win. all i have to say. win. now what i would do if i was dashie in this situation is buy a hoodie, and try and prove my throie of "if powerful entitie creates life, life gets some of entities power."
467481
spoiler
this story gave me the Willies.
And thats hard to do... Good job
Oh, wow, this story is creepy! I'm definitely tracking this, can't wait to read more! Reading this while listening to the Amnesia soundtrack - so creepy!
Wow! This fanfic is giving me chills!
I don't know how I managed to get to sleep last night but I hope I can do it again. Keep up the good work! 
Four of the Mane 6 are dead?
Now if you will excuse me I am going to step outside and cry. 
Oh man, that story was scary! I loved it, I've been looking for a good horror story, and I found it.
Finding and reading a fanfic that actually scared me, and made me loose 30 min. of sleep (since I read it late at night) is definitely a good reason to celebrate it.
Can't wait to read the sequel
Looks like you wrote with weed kepp it up!
Every paragraph I was giggling like a school girl I love it neeed mooooooore
More girlish giggles and squees
do I need help?
I almost feel sad for the dreamer, ALMOST