• Member Since 15th May, 2014
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Troposphere


Apparently, this user prefers to keep an air of mystery about them.

Comments ( 35 )

Daaamn. Where did you obtain such thorough knowledge about equine anatomy and physiology?
On top of quite hot, it was correct to the dot, equine mating behavior described better than in textbooks!

This was different, in a good way.

I haven't read it yet so I could still be right, but for a second I thought the stallion is going to literally nail the mare down and then fuck her. But then I saw the lack of gore tag which I would expect with such a concept.

Compliments to the author, this story is a fantastic read, putting aside the guilty pleasure that was swelling up inside of me while reading it.

Reading this as a straight story (which, really, wasn't all that difficult to do), I'd say that the thing that bugged me the most in this story is the odd separation of groups of paragraphs every now and then. Most of the time the scene separations made sense, but a few times... not so much. Also first lines aren't indented.

She shifted her weight from hoof to hoof, trying to find a comfortable position to stand in for the coming hours

Already foreshadowing I see

I'm not sure about the rape tag here... it's more a keen insight into a sub who wants to be broken instead. He makes it clear there's a safeword, from what I read at least.

4397172
It was meant more as a trigger warning than as a recommendation. (I've edited the description to make that more clear). Someone who gets a panic attack from reading about the viewpoint character being forced is not going to be much helped by an academic argument that it doesn't really actually cross that line.

That being said, I think it's somewhat ambiguous. I can declare by authorial fiat that she's ultimately okay with what her experiment turned into (and likes the result), but would have a harder time defending his behavior ethically. He leaps to a rather large conclusion about what she's up to - though not necessarily an unreasonable one given her strange request - but his way of verifying that she's okay with it is arguably rather confusing and manipulative.

And it's not really a safeword. A proper safeword would give the sub a way to end the scene completely, so the worst she has to deal with afterwards is shared disappointment that it didn't work out. Here he does give her an opportunity to object, but also makes a credible threat to shear her bald if she uses that opportunity, trading private violation for public humiliation. That doesn't really meet my real-world standards for freely given consent.

4398472
Fair enough. With her thoughts afterwards, I took that as the author saying it was aan empty threat for the sake of the scene, not that he'd actually do it if she called it off.

4398482
Yes, it might have been an empty threat -- that's what she's telling herself later on.
Or it might not. We'll never know.

4396927
I'm not sure I understand what you mean by "reading this as a straight story". What else would it be? It's pretty unambiguously M/F.

I see what you're saying about the scene breaks (though I stand by not indenting the first line after one, as a matter of typography). They're all deliberate, put in where I thought the story needed a "deep breath" or "let's cut to commercials while you think a bit about what you just saw" feeling. But you're right that it looks a bit off in the few places where the action has to continue immediately in-universe. Bad planning, I suppose. Perhaps I should cut the hayburger paragraph?

4398602
Ah, I knew that 'straight' would be a very ambiguous term to use here. I use it in the definition as a straightforward story, disregarding the fact that it's clop(-ish).

Also, it's the hayburger paragraph that really stuck out to me the most with that issue, actually.

I dunno, maybe you're overqualified to write sex stories. :derpytongue2:

4398660
Tis done. No more hayburger.:twilightsheepish:

This was wow. . .intense in a very good way and a concept I hadn't thought of for equine bondage that now seems like, well der of course you could do that. :rainbowwild:

The only question I have and it's most likely from a lack of actual knowledge in this but wouldn't nailing the hoof to the floor mar the top of the hoof? possibly cracking it or making it harder to re-shoe them? :rainbowhuh:

Also the idea of a fierier as a type of equine specific foot dentist with all the fears that come with that when one is little is something I think could be used in non clop stories very well, bravo good man bravo. :rainbowdetermined2:

4489701
Glad you liked it!

It's not clear to me that it would necessarily be worse than nailing a horseshoe to the hoof. Ordinary horseshoe nails do go all the way through the hoof wall and out the front, where they are then clinched off. I imagine when the planking is done by a competent farrier, he would avoid the places on the hoof perimeter that correspond to the nail holes in a horseshoe, so the two uses don't conflict. Still, one probably wouldn't want to engage in plank play too often, instead waiting until the hooves have grown enough for the nailholes from the last time to have been trimmed away anyway.

And yes, the dentist analogy was exactly what I was shooting for!:twilightsmile: I'm not the first to get that idea; for example the last chapter of this story has a case of rampant farriophobia as its basic premise.

4492463 Ah see I knew I was short on details there about it I wasn't aware the nail actually went all the way through like that hmmm you know if a pony were to want to engage in this more often then that I would guess you could have nail holes built into the the horseshoe (ponyshoe?) that would add up to the same effect without risking damage to the hoof itself.

I think I'd enjoy talking over story ideas with you sometime if you ever have an interest, I at least hope I'll be seeing more stories from you either way.

4396885
Still think it needs [gore]? :pinkiecrazy:

4949426 Nah, it's violent but not bloody. Especially because it's through hardened bone/skin/whatever that that stuff is on a hoof.

Thought it was a good fresh take on the concept, just that it came and went like a blur.

Bondage is so tricky for me to decide what I like and where my limits are.

So I just read this story and I am a bit confused. I know NOTHING about horse/pony anatomy - wouldn't having nails through your hooves HURT LIKE HELL??? Can horses not feel it? Even if they don't feel nails through their hooves, why would it be a thing?

6138499
In our world horseshoes are actually fastened to the hoof with nails that go through holes in the shoe and come out the front of the hoof. More precisely, the nails go through the hoof wall, which is anatomically similar to a human fingernail. And like fingernails, the hoof wall is made of non-living matter and contains no nerves, so being shod is supposedly not any more painful for the horse than it is for you to trim your fingernails. (Some modern horseshoe systems are glued to the hoof instead, but nailing is the classical method).

The farrier (which is a real-world profession, though much diminished compared to 100 years ago) needs to have some anatomical knowledge in order to make sure the nails actually go through the hoof wall only, and not the soft tissue behind it, which does hurt. That's one of the things that separates a farrier from a mere blacksmith.

Does this clear it up?

6149609 Yes. I guess that makes a lot more sense than ponies agreeing to have nails put through areas that can feel pain.

I feel like this is missing a critical piece at the end: aftercare. There's no cool down. One would think there would be quite a bit to talk about; the emotions and feelings that came up during their encounter, some chastising possibly for putting her in a dubious situation, anything.

It just feels like a crash ending.

7193615
The intention is that something like that is definitely about to happen when the story closes -- it would be natural for them to start talking it over while he reshoes her.

It's just not part of the story. My feeling was that it would be better for a reader to be able to imagine their own version than if I arbitrarily declared one of the ways it can go to be the right one. Sorry if that doesn't work for you.

7194402

Fair enough.

Other than that it was a very nice read.

Comment posted by Zyrian deleted Jul 28th, 2016

How many clopfics have you read where the bottom needs to rest their front (or even "upper") body on a bed or a table so they can be taken from behind? How many clop authors seem to think pony bondage automatically entails chains, rope, and ball gags? Guys and gals, they're horses. If that doesn't count for anything, why not just write human porn instead? [/rant]

I've put this on my need to read list as it sounds like it will supply me with a bit of inspiration even though I do Anthro clop.

They still have hooves after all. ^_^

But I wanted to counter your rant, with one of my own, in a lighter tone. Don't take it seriously. I don't.

My pet peeve is people who hate anthro, but eat up pony clop that has the ponies contorting in ways that would only be possible if they were humanoid. [/rant]

sounds like you felt much the same way, only from the opposite end of the spectrum people using human type bondage on four legged equines.

I'm kind of middle of the road with this fic, to be perfectly honest. I was drawn in by the idea BDSM that actually makes an attempt to deal with the fact that ponies aren't human, but a great deal of the story made me rather uncomfortable/unamused. We're not talking pseudo 'sorta rape' here, we're talking pretty much straight up rape rape--and from the very start his behaviour suggests he's just abusing her in a sense--they never discussed, for example, wearing a gag of any sort. Moreover, any attempts for her to communicate are cut off by the threat of mutilation.

Just once I'd like to sit down and read a story featuring BDSM that didn't come off as questionably consensual.

7750367
That's fair. See also comment #10 (etc.) below for more discussion.

You may like The Toymaker's Marefriend better; that is explicitly consensual.

Very intriguing. Definitely flirting the line of non-con there but you do a lovely job of capturing that submissive mindset. I'll have to read more and see how you do for a dominant mindset too. :twilightsmile:

An interesting style of clop. While the bits I would consider cloppy and lewd were short, they were wonderfully painted, with the story as a whole exploring a form of restraint fetishism that was truly unique and exhilarating. Thank you for writing this.

This is a story I always come back to. It's like a shining example of how to write perfectly balanced erotic fiction. It's all about the most effective words, using your pacing to match the rhythm of the scene. The shortest, and best, sex scene I've ever read. I really admire how well compacted it is. You've nailed something about erotic literature a lot of writers don't get, and it's that longer, more drawn out doesn't mean better.

I will always reflect back on this as the best example of how to pace an erotic scene, how to use minimal wording for the greatest possible effect, and most of all, using the reader's imagination to fill in the blanks. Simply superb.

This story is absolutely the bar for quality for this kind of fic. The best clopfic on FiMfic.

10077183
Thanks for the praise! :twilightsmile:

Gotta admit. this was pretty hot. i loved the part where so couldn't see anything but the wall and her imagination ran wild and humiliation of possibly being shown off to another pony was just perfect. were there two sets of hooves? we'll never know!

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