Page generated in 0.035 seconds
Total duration
947 users online
29,158 hits today, 1,333,287 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
well that was rude braeburn :(
After all that build-up and tension Soarin has been going through, that ending was quite anticlimactic, somewhat funny because of it, and unlike any of Soarin's expected situations as well.
Once again you've done a great job in keeping the reader engaged in your story. Switching between retelling of old memories to first person retelling of the story itself to quick little remarks in the present keep the story fresh and engaging. I love how descriptive you are in the emotions Soarin experiences over the course of the story, as well as how he deals with it. It seems genuine almost, believable in a familiar sort of way. The contrast between his troubles over the reunion with Braeburn and expectations of it going poorly with the endearing emotional memory was a very welcome one as well, breaking up the worries and shedding a potentially positive light on the continued journey.
I greatly appreciate you taking your time with the story. It gives you a chance to explore and develop Soarin's character. Both his experience of the train rides, good and bad, and the retelling of his past are good examples of this. Last chapter as well showed great promise on this part, in particular showing how Soarin has grown through the experience in relation to his dealings with the Wonderbolts earlier in the story. His frustration with Firestreak, but decision to try and help him out and cheer him up, showed a lot of character strength and a means of learning to cope with the situation.
I did notice a couple of spelling issues here and there, but nothing major. Anyway, I'm still ever so excited for following chapters ^^ Keep up the good work.
Hehehe. Good ending.
Aw hell! Slam!
5016100
Good to know the structure is still working. I'm trying to be very conscious of the pacing and tone, too, and I was worried I'd missed big-time with the academy chapter. Still not totally convinced I accomplished what I wanted, but I can certainly tweak it later.
I'm going to give this chapter another proofreading tonight, but when you see spelling errors in the future, please feel free to call them out in the comments or via PM. I promise I won't bite.
5017331
I was hoping you'd like that line.
Well damn, so close of whats gonna happen next but nope cliff hangers. Anyways, another great chapter you put up for us, after what happen to the end I bet soarin pride felt like thisi2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/621/899/276.gif
That went better than expected.
At least this other so called stallion hasn't kicked the straw out of Soarin yet (i assume that's happening, knowing Soarin's luck)
Really want to see how this turns out.
"The stars were twinkling, and the moon was almost perfectly round. It reminded me of Braeburn's butt."
*breaks out and laugh to death.
Welp, that happened.
And that’s exactly what I thought was going to happen.