A Little Silver Lie
None of her students could tell, but today Cheerilee was quite nervous. Today she had a project planned for the class, which would be fine, however, she had never asked a student without a cutie mark to do it; she had never had to. But in this particular class sat three fillies that had yet to discover their special talent. She had no doubt that they could still complete the project, or at least the special directions they were to receive, no, she was nervous about the embarrassment it may bring them.
"Okay, listen up class. Today we have a special project that requires groups of two. It's an essay project designed to help you understand the deeper meaning of your cutie marks with the help of an onlooker. Of course, since not everypony has their cutie mark yet, their job will be to write about what they think it takes to earn one, with their partner's personal story to help guide them." Cheerilee waited and noticed the words slowly sink into not just the Cutie Mark Crusaders, but the whole class. "So would Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, and Apple Bloom please step forward. You're going to draw names to determine your partners, then everypony else can partner off like normal."
As Cheerilee just smiled and gestured at the bag of names, it was the CMC's turn to be nervous. Besides not being able to pair with each other, or Dinky who was normally the partner of the odd horse out, there was also the fact they could draw into somepony they didn't want. Silver Spoon for example...
"What, no, Miss Cheerilee, I can't be partnered with Scootaloo, I need to be partnered with Diamond Tiara!" The gray Earth-pony whined. Scootaloo also looked hopefully up at her teacher.
Unfortunately for them, part of a teacher's job was to make her student's do things out of their comfort zone. "You don't need to be partnered with your friend Silver. Scootaloo isn't being partnered with her friends, and I don't see her complaining. It was luck of the draw."
"Or unluck, as the case may be." The orange Pegasus mumbled, as Sweetie Belle took her place.
As Scoots sat back down she noticed her teacher nudging her head to one side. After a moment she realized that Cheerilee was beckoning her to go stand with Silver Spoon. She hoped Sweetie got a better draw.
"Button Mash, who the hay is that!"
From the back corner of the room there was almost an audible note of surprise as a brown Earth-pony colt looked up like he had been caught doing something wrong. He timidly raised his hoof to show he was indeed Button. Sweetie trotted over to her partner. He seemed just a bit too excited to be paired with her.
Apple Bloom was last to draw, and she was taking her sweet time with it. There were a dozen ponies in her class that she would be fine with, but only one that she must avoid drawing at all costs. After a bit more time, Bloom finally drew her lot. She looked around franticly. What could she do in this situation?
"Well Apple Bloom, whose name did you draw?" Miss Cheerilee politely inquired.
"Oh, ah, er... it was blank?"
"Now Apple Bloom, I put those slips in this bag myself, and I know I didn't put any blank slips in. If you'd please give me the paper, this will all be over quickly." Cheerilee spoke softly as she reached for the name, but Bloom was to fast, and ate the slip whole.
There were some sounds of disgust as well as amusement, but they were cut quick by Cheerilee. "Apple Bloom, take your seat! I don't know what your playing at, but I can only be so patient." She grabbed the bag and took out a slip. "Your partner is NOT Snails." Another slip. "Your partner is NOT Ruby." Apple Bloom's face began lighting up red. Cheerilee was going to read off every name to find out who Apple Bloom ate.
And so for days and days Cheerilee read off one name after another, and after two minutes Cheerilee discovered Bloom's partner. The only pony oblivious enough not to realize her name hadn't been called. "Apple Bloom, please go stand next to your partner."
"Ha, ha! All that work and you still failed. You must have gotten a really lame partner if even you didn't want them."
"You said it sister." Apple Bloom retorted as she plopped down next to the pink pony's desk.
"No, this is some kind of joke? Miss Cheerilee this isn't fair!" Diamond's whining was even worse than Silver's. "I'll have to do more work than the other kids! You can't do this to me!"
"That's enough. Everypony else partner up and report your groups to me, after that your dismissed. I want you all to start on this project as soon as possible."
Really Cheerilee just wanted some peace. She guessed that phrase about 'best intentions' applied right about now.
After the rest of the class had already left, Silver Spoon and Scootaloo remained. They had been 'discussing' where to go, with Silver trying to go anywhere BUT her house it seemed. She had even offered to treat Scootaloo to ice cream to distract her. It had almost worked too, until Scoots realized what she was trying to do. Now they just sat there, Scoots needing Silver to lead the way to her home. It was funny, the Crusader knew where Diamond lived, but not Silver. She was soon to find out.
~~~
Scootaloo seemed to noticed that the two fillies had been walking for a long time now. Or maybe it seemed like a long time because neither of them had said anything since school. No, no, it had definitely been awhile, that was the only explanation for them to be at the very end of the high-class housing... correction, heading past the high-class housing. There was definitely something very wrong here, but before Scootaloo could ask anything of her companion, Silver spoke first.
"What I'm about to show you," Silver seemed to be struggling. "You can't tell anypony."
Scootaloo found this display strange, to say the least.
"Not a soul. You have to promise!" Silver whipped around as she continued. Whatever this sudden bout of seriousness was, it was clear it was very important to her.
"Um, I guess, is- is something wrong? Are you all right?" Either worry or fear was shaking the Pegasus's voice.
Silver inhaled deeply. "Everything is fine, but remember you promised, I don't mind failing this assignment and taking you with me."
"Silver, for Celestia's sake your freaking me out! What's wrong? Did I do something- I'm sorry!"
Scootaloo had no idea what she was apologizing for, or, she realized, why it was to Silver Spoon of all ponies, but she found out rather quickly as Silver lead her down a path that seemed to lead more to a forge than a house. She received a harsh glance from her companion once again before the gray filly walked on in.
"Daddy I'm home!" After a pause, "And I guess we have company!"
~~~
Silver's father had been all but too friendly to Scootaloo. He quickly disclosed his delight that his daughter had finally brought a friend home to visit. Scootaloo just nodded, she just hadn't the heart to tell him that they weren't really friends. In fact she mostly just nodded as information was gushed to her. Silver's father, Iron Bonds, use to trade in stocks, his special talent, reflected by a green graph on his flank, and was pretty well off until an unfortunate accident, now he worked as a clerk in a neighbouring town. Nothing had been mentioned about Silver's mother, she was apparently not in the picture. He gushed about his messy house (it wasn't). He gushed about not having snacks prepared (how could he have known). He gushed and gushed until finally Scootaloo came to.
"Oh yeah, well it was nice meeting you, Silver Spoon's dad, but, uh, we have a school project we need to get working on."
Silver quickly jumped at this opportunity by adding, "That's right! It's a pretty important one to, lots of concentration needed."
"Oh, well, if you plan on staying for dinner, Scootaloo, it'll be eggplant. There's a phone in the kitchen if you need to call anypony."
Silver motioned for Scootaloo to escape though a nearby door to her. Once through, Silver let out a sigh long enough sigh for Scootaloo to get a good look around the room. A child's bed and night-stand in the corner. Faded wall paper covered up by posters here and there. No door on the closet or dome on the ceiling fan's light. A few toys laying around. Silver Spoon was poor.
"The other Crusaders are going to have a field day when I tell them about this," Scootaloo smirked. This was exactly the bitter irony that would put one of her bullies in their place.
"You can't, you promised!" Tears were welling up in the eyes of the filly.
Scootaloo almost felt bad, though she wasn't exactly sure the tears were real.
"My reputation will be ruined if you do!" Silver's tears were real all right, but they were tears of anger. Scootaloo could deal with that.
"Exactly!" Scoots shouted. "That's perfect! All those times you were mean to me and my friends, ruining you sounds like just the right way to get back at you! I should actually go do that right-"
As Scootaloo turned to leave Silver pounced on her, cutting her off mid-sentence. The tussle wasn't something Scootaloo had expected, but even with Silver's surprise advantage, Scootaloo's agility won the day. Silver looked scrawny, but she had that Earth-pony strength in her, which made holding her down difficult. After a couple futile attempts to shrug off the Pegasus, Silver's tears finally turned into the sad kind.
"I may tease you, but I'd never be this cruel. I wouldn't take away your friends!" Silver sobbed. There were other words after, all unintelligible.
"What are you talking about I'm not-"
Again Scootaloo was cut off by a sneaky move. This time a pair of back hooves to the stomach. It hurt, but Scootaloo knew how to take a blow like that and kept her foe pinned, after a few rolls.
"WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM YOU PSYCHOPATH!" Scootaloo didn't even care her shouts were probably echoing throughout the entire household; she wanted answers. "I'm not taking anything away from you!"
"Yes you are! If everypony knows I'm poor, Diamond won't be able to hangout with me any more! You'd make me lose my only friend!" Her voice began to lower, which caused it to be harder to understand through the still-flowing tears. "But, more importantly, you'd take away her only friend. I won't let you!"
Silver tried to buck again, but Scoots would have no more of that and kept the other filly pinned. After little more fighting, Silver's body gave up, and when it did, Scootaloo finally rolled off of her and sat against the wall.
"You know that's not how it works right? Real friendship isn't conditional like that."
"You just don't understand."
"I really don't."
Right about then Silver's Father opened up her door, "Shoot, you two didn't call for me or anything did you? I though I might of heard something."
The two traded glances, Scootaloo of worry, Silver's, smugness. Scoots was sure that Silver was about to tell her dad everything, but at the last moment her expression eased. "No daddy, we're fine."
"Okay then, I'll turn my radio down though."
"Actually," Silver caught her Dad before he was gone. "You might want to keep the music up, we might be getting loud later."
So Silver's dad left like that was a perfectly normal thing to say. Scoots was not so sure it was, and was already readying for another bout. Silver's next line didn't ease her fears.
"So, are you still going to pursue this Scootaloo?"
Scootaloo stood too, "Yeah, I think I am."
"Then, can we at least work on our reports?"
"Uh, yeah, I-I guess?"
"Well come on then, I can't show you my special talent here," Once again the gray filly ushered the orange one through the doors of her house.
Scootaloo didn't quite know what was going on, or where they were headed, but she did have a question for the journey, "I thought your special talent was being a trust fund foal?"
"Oh come now, knowing what you know now, can't you tell that was a lie?" Silver had stopped at the entrance to a room without a door. Her father's music could be faintly heard form the other side of the house.
"Well, if that's not your special talent... what is?"
As if on cue Silver Spoon stepped inward and a warm glow overtook her. Scootaloo wondered what was causing the light for a moment before realizing it was the glow of a forge. She had never been in a forge, but she had always thought one would be sooty and cramped. This forge was, nice almost? Instead of dark stone the furnace itself was made of a yellow brick. Nearby sat an anvil and a container of clear blue water sitting at a child's height. A few metal objects lay on shelves here or there.
"Welcome to my forge, where I go to release my stress by hitting things with a hammer." Silver smiled coyly at the Pegasus. "I suppose you want the story of how this came to be? That is the assignment after all."
Scootaloo nodded again. She wasn't to sure what Silver meant with that hammer line, but she wasn't going to push it.
"Well then," The Earth-pony began both her story and her bellows. "I'm not sure you'll enjoy this, but this is what you get, pay attention."
"I wasn't always friends with DT, y'know. Our friendship started on a particularly bad day for everyone. My father and I were at a pawn shop in Canterlot, we needed money so he was planning on selling a set of fine silver cutlery. Diamond and her father had just finished a pageant, one in which Diamond won second, and a silver tiara. She was just as much DT then as she is now, so she wanted a gold tiara, since she thought she deserved first, so they came to the shop. With me and my pearls and my father with his silver, they naturally thought we were buying the wares, not selling.
Offhoofedly I mentioned that I thought Tiara's headpiece was very nice and, well, you can imagine the telling off I got. By all rights I should have backed down, but I insisted. My mother had always told me that there was such a thing as showing you were rich, and then there was showing that you were refined. Refinement needed a touch of humility, not gaudiness, and that's what I told her a nice, silver tiara would do. I guess that's when we became friends. Later that year, when school started, is when we found out that we lived in the same town. That was good. Neither of us knew it, but we wouldn't have had anyone one we knew without each other.
Then one day, Diamond traded her tiara for my pearls, just for the day mind you. I was so excited that I ran straight home, and tripped on the steps and snapped the jewellery in half. I was sure I had just ruined the best, and only friendship I ever had, and I cried. The tears didn't stop me though, I knew I had to find a way to mend it. Nothing I tried worked, not even glue, but I knew that Mom had a metal forge installed, and even though I wasn't allowed to go in that room, I did. It took hours, but somehow I fixed it. I was so glad I didn't even notice my cutie mark until Diamond said something about it the next day. She even thanked me for taking great care of her namesake."
"Oh wow, so you got your cutie mark by being a good friend, then?" Scootaloo asked when her partner finished.
"I guess that's partly true, yeah."
"Y'know, I'm thinking that maybe she wears that thing on her head because it reminds her of your friendship. Just maybe, she thinks that's more important than even first place."
"I'd rather not risk it, but it's not up to me," Her tears were coming back.
"Well, I guess it's not up to me either." Scootaloo sighed at the chance she was giving up. "I did promise after all."
"Thank you. This doesn't make us friends you know?"
"Eh. Doesn't really make us enemies either."
That would be the last smile they shared for a long while, but at least they shared it.
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i could totally see this turning into a ship fic later on down the line.
Nice one
4022694 it felt like days to poor old Applebloom.
I adored this take on Sliverspoon.
That line about losing her and DT's only friend, aww.
A few things that I noticed while reading.
I believe that is "Too"
Might need to be "Whose"
There are a few more like that.
4022423 Um...it won't.
4022423
It won't, I'm not a fan of ship fics. The most heavy thing I'll likely write about are zombies.
4022694
Weldbrony is correct, it felt like a long time, however it was only a few minutes. If it was more confusing than clever, sorry.
4022989
Thank you for pointing those out, I'll try to go back through this and correct my mistakes soon. You probably saw a least one then/than mistake, that and typing 'and' instead of 'an', and 'won' or 'one' instead of 'on' are my normal mistakes.
4023188
But shouldn´t blacksmithing leave traces in Silver´s body: the smell of the forged metals, worked muscles, burned hair, etc...?
4023228
Don't actually know much about real smithing but I'd say: Generous doses of perfume/frequent baths (or maybe she lies and says the metallic smells are a fancy perfume, I'd doubt any non-blacksmith (especially a child) could tell the difference), Earth-Pony body type (AJ doesn't have a twelve pack), and hair tied back (actually what put the idea in my head). Those are my cop-outs.
A Great fic, I wonder if you have more concerning SP&DT <3
4023427
Sorry, not unless a bout of inspiration hits me. I'm mostly going to do one-offs episodes of Mane 6.
My own pride and expert opioin can't say this Silver Spoon story is better than mine, but it did it well by leaving the story more open ended then mine, so in the sprit of good sportsmanship, this story earns my like.
Great fic, though I saw some errors that haven't been fixed yet
There were some grammar errors that I'm too lazy to go back and check what they were, but I saw that you had spelt "later" wrong by spelling it "latter" Otherwise, a great fic
Edited on March 2, 5:30ish CST. Changelog includes:
Commas, 5 or 6 added, 1 removed.
A period evolved into a Question Mark, another became an Exclamation Mark.
Various spelling/grammar mistakes corrected.
Thanks everyone so far that have pointed things out to me!
That wa an awesome take on Silver Spoon. Maybe this could somehow continue with the homeless Scootaloo fan canon.
That was an awesome take on Silver Spoon. Maybe this could somehow continue with the homeless Scootaloo fan canon.
Other than this typo I didn't notice any problems.
SS felt a touch OOC to me at first, but really there's not much of a canon for her character to go off of... so really it's just my perception of her getting in the way, I'm sure. Perhaps having SS being more of a bully to start, then having Scoots say something like, "Come off it, you don't have to show off to anypony, and we need to get along to finish this project" or some such would have improved things for me.
All-in-all, I rather enjoyed the story. Gave me a touch of the feels, this did. I dig it.
Nice little story... But quick note... There were several times when you wrote "your" when it was meant to be "you're"
Other than that, its a cute little fic that could make a great story...
I honest to god wouldn't mind seeing this continue.
4030324
I have no idea what you're trying to tell me.
4030416 Most common literary advice. Do not say something happened, instead have it happen in the story.
You could say "This character goes on an adventure and gets the thing and goes home and becomes the guy" but that's not a story. The more you put into showing the thing happening, the more of a story there is.
4030678
Right. Unless I'm missing the implication the entire story is that, I don't know what specific part of the story is being referred to. Likely it's one of those parts hit by the word cuts, but I still don't know which one (not that it can be corrected and still be under 3000 words mind you).
If it's the part at the end where Silver explains hows she and Tiara met, well, Scootaloo can't see flashbacks unless they're her own I'd imagine, so Silver telling rather than showing makes sense to me.
0-0?!
Both the spoiled fillies ended up working with the CMCs?!? Are you SURE that was random?!
I ABSOLUTELY LOVE HOW SHWERD CHEERILEE IS BEING!!!
I wonder where DT and AP went during this chaos.
And WHOSE HOUSE didn't want to go where?
She had even offered to treat Scootaloo to ice cream to distract her.
Her doing something nice would be distracting enough. And her acting of her own will without her master nearby.
Now they just sat there, Scoots needing Silver to lead the way to her home.
Why Silver's?
"Silver, for Celestia's sake your freaking me out! What's wrong? Did I do something- I'm sorry!"
Apologizing to her enemy?
a trust fund foal?"
0-0
Now I'm stuck wondering how things with the others went.
I really enjoyed this story. I LOVE the idea of that being Silver's special talent.
I agree with Scootaloo on this one. It's out-of-character for Diamond to wear a decoration that marks her as second best unless it has another significance of her. In this case, it is that it is something that brought her and Silver Spoon together; it's a symbol of their friendship. By wearing it she's reminding herself every day just how valuable that friendship is to her.
That was... one of the more unique interpretations on Silver Spoon's and DT's origins I've read in forever, not the forge thing, but just Silver's backstory and how they met. That was all pretty cool stuff.
You know, I was hoping for exactly that. Any other story it could of been a Snips or a Snails. Every other one it'd be Diamond, sure, but the way AB dragged things on helped really delivery on this line. I don't think I laughed so hard in a story in days. Great execution.
Fun story. I liked it
I loved it. In the end, it left me wondering about the other 2 CMC's. What happened to them? Are you planning on writing a sequel about Applebloom and Sweetie Belle? That would be most lovely.
4034953
I didn't plan to, but I might wright a short epilogue to explain what happened with AB/DT and SB/Button. I might get more focused on a different story altogether though, so no promises.
I will never be able to look at silver spoon the same way again. Diamond tiara and the other hand...
yeah, good luck with that.
It is a shame they can't be friends now, but maybe silver and scoots will meet up again at her house some time.
Aww, this story has good potential that has been drowned out by a poor choice of pacing and a lack of thought.
Similar to my own entry to the same contest, this story felt very rushed. The idea works, and we see the direction the story wants to go — with friendship being based on personal value rather than materialistic wealth, despite the fact that Scootaloo's bonding is purely circumstantial.
Scootaloo's character can and cannot work, depending on execution, and in this form it seems very off. She goes immediately from trying to blackmail Sliver to making up with her. Her mindset switches from the thought that revealing how Sliver is 'poor' would ruin her reputation, a very petty wish that a character like Trixie or Diamond Tiara would try to pull off, to explaining to her that friendship is not based on how much money you or your family has. That makes her seem hypocritical, and though Scoot is hypocritical in her cannon representation, she doesn't step into this line of thoughtlessness for her actions.
Sliver Spoon's father is an uninteresting character. I thought that his talent and his naming seemed clever until I realised that you can't 'lose' the ability to play stocks after an accident, especially if your livelihood depended on it. Of course, it is never truly stated that he was a very successful and rich investor or broker but it is implied. As such, it can seem as though he is a genius in 'Hoof Street' and would still be able to find ways to make it big even with a broken leg or a lack of eyesight and such.
The way he was introduced should have been slower, clearer and more subtle. The narrator just told it to us, making it lose its value... and making me question how reliable he actually is.
But the story itself, oh it has potential, definitely. It reminds me of a classic Charles Dickens tragedy, where everything goes wrong since childhood, and yet the characters describe their situation while looking at the little pleasures of life... all while still suffering, of course.
I love this story — what it represents. It's just that it's presentation ruins what value it could have. There are tons I could go on about, on each paragraph, and how everything can be improved. It feels far fetched in its current form, very forced. I find the message of friendship being defined by the values of a character instead of image, yet how Sliver tries her best to uphold that image regardless of how far fetched it is (and yet how it is also her downfall, making her seem the most shallow and petty of the duo), having the potential to be very relevant and powerful.
So... want a proofreader while you rewrite the story? Otherwise, mind proofreading my version of this tale?
4038058
If you like this idea and would like to envision your own telling you are welcome to it, I don't think now is exactly the right time to revise my version. However you might want to push out some of your own work first. If we both have admittedly poor pacing and that's one of the big problems of this piece, then I'm not sure either of us could fix it at this time and I don't think it will be the success you are hoping for.
I don't really think it was too far fetched that Scootaloo wanted to pay Silver back, but as Silver reenforced the idea that a real friendship was in jeopardy Scootaloo lost confidence in her plan. Scootaloo was still going to tell everyone when she was destroying fake friendships (ones that are based on wealth or status) until the very end, but then she couldn't without destroying one she felt was real. I would have liked to be more clever than 'Welp we're enemies, let's do a project' for Silver's final gambit, but I didn't feel like anything I was coming up with was any better so I just smacked Scoots with the dumb stick real quick, otherwise she would have bolted right then and told everyone, like she tried before.
iron Bonds (Silver's Dad) was a one off character who was supposed to be comic relief, and not much more (and some of that got the cuts). I think the 'accident' was unclear. He didn't injure himself or something like that, he just hit a really unlucky investment. No matter how good you are as an investor, you can't foresee (for example) a plague of locust destroying a farm. I'd like to think he is still investing, but stocks and bonds is rarely a quick way to go from poor to rich, but is a great way to go from rich to poor very fast. He was flattened somewhat purposely to not take attention away but was also needed to explain the social class and so Silver wasn't living alone.
I truly regret the pacing. I know it was fast, at my skill level I don't know how to slow things down without word bogs, which I didn't have the luxury of and have actually been cancerous to the story instead. That said, being a novice in writing and my own grammar mistakes I don't know if I'd make you a good proofreader.
4022423
it'd be one HECK of a stretch to accomplish but I guess it could be done it would just never by as good as this
It's an okay story, but the grammar needs work. There were errors like to/too, your/you're, and even "might of" in place of "might have" or "might've".
4038368
It's not about skill level, like an RPG. It's about getting it right. You don't level grind for something like this.
Iron Bond's accident was unclear, yes. The text could be interpreted to have him be physically disabled (Oh man, the thought of Sliver's stock broker father becoming mentally retarded after a terrible, terrible accident just sent me shivers).
Still, when your special 'talent' or 'destiny' is to play the market, it feels odd that one investment got him to completely give up.
My story for the contest was rushed and written under 4 hours with no editing. In fact, I am going to take it down soon.
Still, I get what you mean: now's not the time to edit this story for you. However, my offer still stands: want to help proofread what I'm planning?
I don't get the chance to praise many Silver Spoon fics often, last ones really being Moving On and Serenade of Silver Bells, and that one comedy one by Bootsy, but tossed you a vote on the Everfree contest along a LD fic along a very few other ones. Great job, wish you all luck.
37.media.tumblr.com/2949499f3407b66f52965e91d4dcb89f/tumblr_mpemt4qjEW1r5yhbco1_500.jpg
Ever since I got into M.L.P., I've always had a bit of sympathy for Silver Spoon. Watching her, I've always assumed she was a good pony at heart, and was surprised by how little of the fandom seemed to depict this. Sure, I've read a few fanfictions where she's nice and all, and yeah, I've seen a couple of comics where she's doing "the right thing", but I've never seen anything like this, anything that so accurately depicts what my perception of Silver Spoon's true character to be.
This is what I've always seen in Silver. This is what I envision her life to be outside of school, outside of Diamond Tiara. Sure, I may never have come up with the concept of her working a forge, but this is the pony I've always seen in Silver Spoon. And I want to thank you for bringing that pony to life. In the eyes of the brony community, you may have just singlehandedly redeemed Silver Spoon, and in the eyes of me, you may have just redeemed the brony community (by redeeming Silver Spoon in every pony else's eyes).
This is a fantastic piece; wonderfully written, beautifully crafted, flawless execution. Thank you for that.
5008016 I'm glad I could help with giving you a story that does that for you, (as well as apologies for a reply that I should have wrote much sooner.)
See I have this weird confliction where I totally believe there is nothing more to Silver Spoon than being a little brat, but she was a villain that was so blank it was easy to give her OoC feelings without them seeming that way. Plus it's really fun to find crazy explanations for cutie marks that make no sense. You can't be good at being privileged child, you either are or aren't. It's not really a choice. You can't choose to be born rich.
5116925 then explain tiara's talent
5625230 In this particular story I do drop hints to a few things it could be, particularly, beauty pageants. But coming up with a convoluted CM story for DT is not really in the cards for me. I can't/won't write a character I dislike, because my writing for them would only be half-hearted, and personal grudges would get in the way of true characterization and growth, leading to what little quality I can produce being removed completely, and ending with a terrible story.
5628845 so you saying that tiara is mlp's version of honey boo boo.....bwahahahha plus if you write a character you dislike that's OK does not mean you should write them though
4028722
I'm with you
I just got through laughing at her for eating the slip in the first place and then you hit me with that
okay I'm not clear to what she is refering by "this"
is it-
A. Telling the CMC and possibly the whole class that Silver is poor even after giving her word she wouldn't?
B. The completing of their assignment in general?
C. The Discovery of Silver's special talent?
5725503
Telling [Whomever] that Silver was poor. I think I was going for Scootaloo wanting to break the hold of the "false friendship" between Silver and Diamond Tiara, which would best be done by telling the truth rather then keeping any promises. That or Scootaloo was so focused on hurting Silver she didn't care about a promise to one of her bullies.
5730478 ah I see. Silver resigned herself to the fact Scoots was going to expose her but she had no choice accept to work with her. Thanks for clearing that up.
I find it amazing that this story's explanation for Silver's cutie mark and how she and DT became friends is still perfectly valid, even after Crusaders of the Lost Mark.
Finally crossing this one off my RIL list.
I'll hit the grammar first. Almost every instance of "your" in the story is supposed to be "you're." There are little things here and there that are off, like having commas in sentences that really should be two separate sentences. There aren't any glaring errors that distract from the story, so it's good in that regard.
In terms of the story I found it enjoyable. I mentally facepalmed and snickered when Apple Bloom ate the slip of paper.
I guessed Silver's secret early on, thinking it was either she was poor or her cutie mark was fake, which got narrowed down when Silver was avoiding her house.
I'm curious why they got stuck on going to Silver's house. I'm assuming Scootaloo was trying to take advantage of being partnered with the "rich girl" to go to a lavish mansion.
Scootaloo wanting vengeance by spilling the dark secret makes sense, but she does flip-flop quite easily.
When the two are fighting and Silver's dad comes in Silver is said to be looking smug and Scootaloo as worried. I didn't get that. I'm going to guess Silver was going to tell her dad about Scootaloo planning to sink her reputation, but her dad seems the chill sort like Filthy Rich, so at most he might give her a lecture.
I liked Silver's cutie mark story, and how it related to the two of them becoming friends, although it still seems like they're not truly friends. The two of them both care about status and appearance more than each other.
The only flaw at the end, as is described in the AN, isn't so much lack of skill as word constraints. While it does end on a decent note there could have been just a little bit more, like the result of the project, or Scootaloo's feelings.
All in all, a fun little read.
Oh.
So that's her secret now.
I thought it was something totally different.