• Member Since 30th Oct, 2013
  • offline last seen Apr 28th, 2016

Swift Swap

Hy, I am an Italian brony since an year, and I have imagined lot's of fun or even touching stories about our pony friends. I hope you all will like them, even if my english is pretty bad!


This is what happened, in my opinion, right after the events of "Flight to the Finish". The story of an unexpected dialogue between Scootaloo and Silver Spoon, where we get to know a little more the grey filly.....

A huge, enormous thanks to Graphite Sketch, who helped me a lot to improve the language of this story before I publish it.
Go check his stories, because they are awesome!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 24 )

My feels..... why do you ache so?

Damn. This was surprisingly actually really good, especially the ending. The only complaint I have is that a lot of the dialogue seemed really formal and "proper" to be coming out of Scootaloo and Silver.

And this line was great: "All this struck Scootaloo's mind, instantly forming a nasty concept that could be expressed in two words: Silver Spoon."

Good stuff.

The only thing I would really criticize about this is that the characters' dialogue seems a bit too formal and grown-up for their ages. :unsuresweetie:

But since English is your second language, that probably accounts for a lot of the "stiffness" of the dialogue. :twilightsmile: It's hard to write informal, natural-sounding dialogue in a different language; I imagine if I tried to write a story in Italian, my characters' dialogue would sound pretty stiff and stilted too. :twilightblush:

(Oh -- and the paragraph indentation needs to be fixed. Either indent the first line of every paragraph, or don't indent any of them; don't mix styles by only indenting the dialogue, and not indenting paragraphs that aren't dialogue. It looks odd.)

Well this sure turned out well! Huzzah for 12 likes so far!


The indenting of the text and the dialogue is different because I got suggestion for doing so, because it help read the story more smoothly, distinguishing the two things.

If anyone else find it to much odd, please tell me, and maybe I'll change it.


Well... you really shouldn't do it. It doesn't make it easier to read; if anything, it's distracting, because now the visual cues for where a new paragraph starts aren't consistent.

I'm not sure who's going around telling authors to do this, or why -- but you will never see a professionally-published book formatted that way. In fact, I can't think of any other place I've ever seen that done, aside from fanfics. Unfortunately, there's a lot of bad advice that gets passed around from one amateur writer to another; I don't know how this particular bit of incorrect advice got started, but I do know that it's absolutely wrong. :twilightsmile: "Qoute marks" are the only visual indicator necessary for dialogue.

:rainbowderp: Well, didn't see that one coming.

What the hell did I just read?

You've read a story about regret, repentance and friendship, in its perhaps most unlikely form. That's what I read in it, at least. Listen, I can understand that you may not like what you have read. And I'm fine with it. If I couldn't take a dislike, I would have quit a long ago. But the important thing is not to please everyone, but to please at least someone. Anyway, if you didn't like it, I would like to know why. Just so I can get better at writing. I think I can take critics. But please, give constructive criticism.

5346441 were you that one dislike?

That. Was. Beautiful. I hope that the writers pick up on the huge amount of people putting great character into SS and apply it to the show. I'm pretty sure that about half the community will cry in happiness, the other half mad because it isn't quite the same as their favorite fic.

5479386 What, are you gonna complain about it like a brony? I get dislikes all the time for less.

5479525 no, I'm not complaining, I'm just curious why you didn't like it. Explain?

5481390 Well, we got Scootaloo and Silver Spoon having that talk and then Silver Spoon being a backstabber because Scootaloo didn't get her BFF "code". You know, it's like the episode "Twilight Time". I saw that episode and I think Dave Polsky who wrote it completely discredits the intelligence of children and makes them all grade A stupid. It was very, very sad. I don't care if Silver Spoon wanted to keep her image with Diamond Tiara. Did she honestly think Scootaloo was stupid to interpret "blank flightless flank" as "best friend forever"? That makes no sense. If Silver Spoon really wanted to be friends with Scootaloo, she would get the gall to stand up to Diamond Tiara and express what she feels about it, not play along like a puppet.

So in short, this story ends with Diamond Tiara being a threat to Scootaloo and Silver Spoon being an idiot for even thinking that Scootaloo could interpret her words THAT way. I can assure you that I've seen more than enough images of kids being written as stupid morons in "Twilight Time".

And whoever is stalking me will give this a negative comment "because it was Black Kyurem who said it".

5481456 someone's stalking you? How do you know this bit of information?

5481467 Check my profile. I once responded to someone's comment saying he would read my last fanfic, assuming it would be at good as the others I wrote. I said "thank you". And then that reply I left gets a -1. Undeniable proof someone is stalking me and disliking me "because it was Black Kyurem who said it and everyone hates Black Kyurem because he's a fucking anti-brony who's disturbing the peace".

5481475 if you're an anti Brony, then why are you on a MLP fanfiction website?!

5481495 Look, pal. Being a user on this site doesn't automatically make that a person a brony! I came to write seven stories and the reason I'm against bronies is because some of them do really stupid, STUPID things like you wouldn't believe. If you honestly think everyone here is a brony, then... I'm sorry, but you're delusional if you think that! I know some 'rebels' on this site who aren't bronies. This should NOT have to be a site only for bronies! It should be for anyone who wishes to write fan fiction PEACEFULLY. It's called freedom of speech! There's a fine line between just liking MLP:FiM, being a fan, AND being a brony! I don't even care for the series all that much, so I wrote fan fiction to see if it could fare better than what I thought of most of the episodes.

5481531 I define a Brony as anyone, male or female, who enjoys my little pony, in any form. Be it comic, fan art, music, actual episodes, or stories like these, so... Pretty much by my definition, anyone on this site is either a Brony, or a person going on here just to strike down the brony community. And that second category of people are dead to me. I do understand that there's a difference between criticizing a work because it's bad, and criticizing it because of the fact it's based around ponies. Heck, I love criticizing stories for the sole purpose of making them better for future readers!

5481590 You're sad. You have no logic of in-between. Just shut up and don't talk to me ever again.

5481637 the in between are the people who don't give a horse's flank about the show and its fans. Like me and transformers!

OK, don't get me wrong, Morning Dusk, but I think Black Kyurem was actually right on a couple of things:
First of all, there aren't just Bronies and Not-Bronies. With this, I'm perfectly in agreement with Black Kyurem, because I don't think I am a complete Brony. I'm In the middle. I'm a fan. It's like you said "For what concern sports, there are only the ones who don't like them, and the ones who get all crazy at the stadium" That's absolutely not true! There are also the polite and respectful supporters. This is a fact.
Secondly, It's true that the part of the "BFF" nod was kinda messed up. The fact was that Silver couldn't act more directly toward Scootaloo Or Diamond Tiara. Why? Because all she wanted was to keep relationships with both, but, until DT was unbearable as we now her, SS would never be able to create a bond with Scootaloo too. The only way was to keep it a secret. And this would mean that, while with both DT and Scootaloo, SS would act as she normally do, but hiding inside her behavior some hints for Scootaloo, for reveal her that she wasn't really thinking what she was saying. And if you ask, "OK, she have to keep it secret to stay with both, but why she don't leave Diamond for stay with Scoots?". The reason is simple: Silver is mainly Diamond Tiara friend, and so, whatever could happen, and in any way she treated her, she would never leave her alone.
If you say "OK to everything, but the "BFF" nod was still messed up, I think you ma be right. But the fact is that I couldn't imagine, in that situation, an exit for Silver Spoon that could save both the bond whit Diamond and Scoots. If you have an idea, please tell me. As I said, I'm open to constructive criticism.
Speaking about SS redemption, after the infamous line "We've already called them Blank Flanks", I almost lost any hopes toward Silver. Then, I've read this comic, and my hopes for her became even stronger. That is basically how this story was made.

5483544 Thank you, THANK YOU for sticking up for my philosophy. Here's where I stand. I don't care much for the series in general, even though I think some episodes are good, but I like a lot of fan art and fan fiction stuff to a point, most of it better than the series. I hate things such as "Cupcakes", "Rainbow Factory", and of course "Smile HD" to a T, as those things just show me the insane side of bronies or just Internet users in general for that matter. I wonder where that puts me? A brony? No. I call myself an anti-brony because I see most bronies do crazy and outlandish things for no apparent reason and I simply wish for them to abide by their old policy they once set up - "Love and tolerate". If bronies can't do that, then I would say "Be gone with them". Quite frankly, a lot of users hate me for that because they possibly don't even know that their minds have been twisted. I could list examples, but perhaps another time and not on this story. Again, thanks for trying to clear things up.

5483558 let's just... Leave it at that. Cut the "thread", so to speak. Okay?

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