Scootaloo was different from the moment she was born. Her eyes are slightly bigger than the average fillies, she has difficulty with simple words sometimes, and she's the only pegasus that can't fly. She doesn't care about any of that though. She has her two friends, and she has her dad. She has her scooter, and she always has a smile on her face. Her dad knows that she's... a little different... but he loves her anyway, and has promised to always be there for her.
What happens though, when she finds out what makes her a little bit different? Why the teachers look at her differently, why some of the other ponies tease her and pull her wings? What happens when she is told what makes her different from other ponies? Scootaloo knows there's nothing wrong with her... is there?
Edit: Huge thanks to fairybubblepuppy.deviantart.com for drawing the cover art for this one! You guys should go have a look at some of her other work. http://www.fairybubblepuppy.deviantart.com/
This is an interesting (and fresh!) take on Scootaloo's history.
I think you need to slow it down and stretch the story out a little bit, though. I work with children with disabilities and know how fascinating it is to write about, but it's kind of a sensitive topic that needs a lot of thought and care to make it work.
So far, so good, though! Keep up the great work.
I agree with Cranberry Muffin on slowing it down a bit and it really is a new look on Scootaloo's reason not knowing how to fly.
But I can't help, but feel a tad bit uncomfortable by the fact that she has Dowell Syndrome because the road i live on is Dowell
After reading the description, I had a feeling it would be about autism or something. This might be an interesting read, although that may be biased based on my own condition.
As for actual critique, I agree with the above comments. Slow down, stretch out the story, and step lightly, you are touching on sensitive ground.
Interesting story, I'm looking forward to the next chapter to see what happens!
When I saw your story on the main page, I was wondering why my story was suddenly appearing under the new story list.
1825008
Thankyou for all your feedback, and I promise the later chapters will be more stretched out. This one is more to 'test the waters' and see how people react to it. I understand that it is a sensitive topic for many people, and I will try my hardest not to offend anyone. I work with mentally disabled people as well, which is how I thought of this.
1825292
If the name of the condition is your only issue with my story, I am very happy with myself, and you. Thankyou.
1828200
Great minds think alike my friend! I'll look at your story, and I sincerely apologise if I've accidentally plagiarised something of yours. Whoops.
1825660
Again, I am fully aware of how sensitive my story can be, and I am trying very hard to not offend anyone. If you haven't noticed, Scootaloo is the PROTAGONIST in this story. This isn't trying to put mentally disabled people in a bad light or anything, and I apologise in advance in case anyone interprets my story as such.
To everyone who liked/ favourited my story, thankyou all very much and I hope you are satisfied with my future work on this story.
1829201 Don't worry, our stories are completely different.
1829201 It was a joke. I don't mind it, it was just a little creepy. Other than that keep going!
My God. The feels.
THE FEELS, MAN!
Diamond Tiara pulled on scootaloo's wings...
Where is that little swit, I'll pull her mane out and shove that tiara right up her 
ummm sorry please continue
All joking aside I do agree with the others but you've heard enough from them on the matter of pacing. What I truly wish to say is that I feel like I'm walking on egg shells in a room full of sleeping and very hungry lions as I read this story. I don't know why I feel this way but I do, it may stem from the fact that I personally don't know how difficult it is for any person (or pony) to live with a disability like the ones you've mentioned. Also I wish to applaud you for having the will to write about your experiences.
1859274
I'm sorry for making you feel unnerved as you read my story, please try to relax.
Also, thankyou for your applause, and I applaud you in return.
-Fighting_oreo
PS. Don't worry, Diamond Tiara will get her own back. MWAHAHAHAHA!
I look forward to seeing how this progresses.
I could repeat all the advice everyone has given you about pacing, but it'd be redundant at this point.
Writing as someone with a disorder himself, I know that a lot of times people are chancy about approaching the subject. Writing from personal experience as you are, I expect that you'll handle the subject a lot more accurately and tastefully than some other approaches I've seen...
Good luck!
i guess i'll keep an eye on this
it's an interesting idea
[insert pacing comment somebody else already made]
i've thought about writing one with a retarded twilight
literally retarded
It is not bad but I do suggest getting an editor for each chapter. It can really help things and help with advice. :)
Just a tip here: Start a new paragraph whenever another character starts speaking. This helps readers separate dialog between characters and avoid confusion.
Good story so far. I hope to read more soon.
Ah, I was wondering if this project had been abandoned! Still, I'm happy you got a new chapter out.
Still a cute story!
1882105
Thanks for your comment, and thanks for reading. It means a lot that someone with a disorder likes my story. Thankyou.
2121721
Still glad you like it!
2121680
I'm sorry this chapter took so long to get out there, I have been meaning to write it for ages. Don't worry, I wouldn't abandon a story...
2121064
I hope you read more soon as well!
1840405
I will give you compensation for any feels you may have lost... Q: Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
A: Because it was stapled to the chicken.
2123834 When do you think you will have more done?
2125572
I'm not entirely sure when I'll upload the next chapter, but it will be uploaded within a reasonable time period.
As long as people keep reading, I'll keep uploading.
Can anyone draw some cover art for this please? I would really appreciate it!
I like it, this is sort of a change from the usual sad scoot fic's: "homeless" or "Bad family", and i find it pretty nice.
2293960
Glad you think so! I try and stay away from cliched stories like the ones you're talking about. They have to be done very well for me to read them.
As for everyone else, I am so sorry. My computer glitched and I lost all of the next chapter. Not to worry, I'm working on typing it up again, and it should be uploaded soon.
Not dead just busy,
-Fighting_oreo
Not to be mean but strcture wise in the story it needs more spacing and a bit of work. “No. It was your fault Diamond, and I don’t think we can be friends anymore.” “Do you guys mind if I come with you?” Like that part there should be something like 'Silver Spoon turned her head to the crusaders.' in between the two sentences.
2309126
I completely agree, spacing is really not my strong point. I still don't actually have an editor, so that might explain some of it.
To put your fears aside, I plan on finishing this story up soon, doing one last edit, where I'll fix all the spacing issues and stuff, and then moving on to my next one.
With regards,
Fighting_oreo
I like how the story is progressing, but there are some parts of the story that could be slowed down and better described, or what ever the word is... As for instance, what Cold Spike had stated
That can be slowed down to describe better what had happened during the scene, because it just looks off when you put them so close together, you can say "Silver spoon turned to look towards the CMC members." Or something else. but I'm just sayin' :T
2310592
Consider it done.
2324998 Looks pretty good, I like it
This is quite... Interesting... [Can't find proper word.] Spacing's a bit off, but it's good.
Trust me I'm the Doctor. [Insert Doctor Whooves Emoticon]
MOAR!
Please?
Alright, new chap, pretty coo', more c:
Indenting paragraphs, or double-spacing between them, would help you out immensely.
I look forward to more.
2378143
'Interesting' is good. Not really what I was going for... but good.
2415617
Coming right up, good sir!
2420295
Noted. Thankyou very much.
Just checked the stats! Over 50 people have favourited this story! WHOOO!
Next update coming soon... I promise.
Ponies don't have toes.
I was wondering when the next update would come, and I guess today it came. I really enjoyed the chapter, Diamond Tiara got served.
-Hotwingsrule
I'm sorry, but I have a hard time feeling for Silver Spoon, and the reason is this:
Now, keep in mind what happened the chapter before:
There's a word for this, and it's called hypocrisy. Mind-blowing hypocrisy. That left a bad taste in my mouth, all throughout the final confrontation.
We would like to see something new. When thou writes thy new story We would appreciate it if thou left us a link on Our page so we could read it.
It ended sort of abruptly, in my book, but you shouldn't force an ending. The moment when Scootaloo forced herself to get a bowl, only for her dad to get her the box, was very endearing!
2575068
I thought it ended abruptly as well, but I couldn't think of how to stretch it out to another chapter... The last thing I want is for my stories to become monotonous or... Boooring...:
Anyway, I promise the pacing will be better in my next story.
1829201 I was just wondering if "Dowell Syndrome" is a real mental disorder & if so where can I learn more about it. If you can help with this I'd appreciate it. I doubt that I have it myself but I do some mental disorders as well & no I'm not ashamed to admit it.
P.S. Just so you know I am NOT offended by your story at all. Actually I found interesting. I simply figured you were trying to raise awareness about children with mental disorders as a way increasing our understanding & decreasing the ignorance & predjudice people feel towards those who are mentally challenged. I know what it's like to be made fun of for something like this, cause I too am mentally challenged.
I liked this story.
2580746
First of all, I'm glad you liked my story.
Secondly, I wrote the story because I like writing. Raising awareness was really just a bonus. I liked the idea of writing about a mental disease, so I did. I'm glad you weren't offended, as that was something that terrified me while I was writing it. Thanks.
Finally, Dowell Syndrome is not real. It was inspired by different mental illnesses, but the whole thing was my own creation. It's roughly based off Aspergers Syndrome, ADHD, and a little bit of OCD.
2583758
I liked this comment.
2587350 Ok Thank you so much. I won't say which 1 it is but 1 of the disorders you mentioned is certainly 1 that I myself has. Scootaloo is beyond all doubt 1 of my top favorite Ponies. Stay Awesome.
I've only just got around to reading this and I noticed so etching in the first paragraph,
Ponies don't have toes or hands
I've only just got around to reading this and I noticed something in the first paragraph,
Ponies don't have toes or hands
2971097
However, ponies do know what toes and hands are, and so they would logically know that left-handedness exists.
Not to ruin headcanon, but Spike has hands, and fingers/claws and toes.
1883303
You mean autistic?
What level, there are a few...
2978902
Gilda has somewhat... prehensile? Claws.
Awww!