• Member Since 11th Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen Jul 16th, 2013

DiabolicalMonocle


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Scootaloo has never been able to fly. Everypony is laughing at her, so she decided to give it a go. You've got to run before you can walk. How will she ever learn from her mistake? Will she ever forgive herself?

Chapters (8)
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Comments ( 156 )

:applecry: Wow, that's so sad. If only RD would have had more time.

216770 Yep, but at least scootaloo is still alive:scootangel:

It's way too rushed, and you need to put some emotion behind those words. A good start, even thought the plot is very popular :pinkiecrazy:

216925 Yeah I did want to play Dead Island at the time :rainbowkiss: I didn't realise this was a popular plot though. Will try and put more detail in in the future.

216946 Thanks :twilightsmile: will put more in next chapter

NOOOOOOOOO! Not a cliffhanger!!:derpyderp1::twilightoops::applejackconfused::rainbowhuh::raritydespair:

217062 Yes it is :applecry: Next chapter will be tomorrow or something

OH NO!
Dash was Scoots Idol then she killed her
by accident! Good Story but sad :pinkiesad2::raritycry::fluttercry:

I must agree with Drystan here; you seemed to rush the sadness and detail. I find the essence of tragedy stories is making the reader feel a strong emotion without them feeling like you're forcing them to feel sadness (for me at least). Maybe next time, add some detail before the death scene; and put some emotion behind the words. :ajsmug:

Otherwise, good story and a nice start to boot. :raritywink:
Don't take my criticism seriously as I suck at this kind of stuff (excluding proofreading). :fluttershysad:

Keep up the good write!

217073 Yeah, I know. I felt like making a depressing story though. :pinkiecrazy:

217081 No, you are right. I completely understand you. Most people have been saying that anyway. I tend to just scribble down what's in my head, and not think about the results. Next time, I will think more about the emotions. :twilightsmile: Thanks for the advice.

217087 i know, I do like Sad ones
they have more story line
I just say things:rainbowkiss:

:ajsleepy: Sad ending, but it was sweet when Rainbow Dash saved Scootaloo. Even when she knew that Scootaloo was a weak flyer anyway. :twilightsheepish:

217099 Yeah same :derpytongue2: Sometimes you've got to have a sad story

217139 Well it's not the ending yet :pinkiecrazy: and it's going to get a whole lot sadder

CLIFHAAANAAGER!!! :flutterrage: Good fic. :D Good story

Very good story, but I must joint the crowd and say that it seemed a little bit rushed. Keep it up, it sure looks like its going to be interesting story!

217256 Cheers :yay: Yep, the dreaded cliffhanger. Don't worry though- I'm putting another chapter up tomorrow. Might just include another cliffhanger :rainbowkiss:

217277 Thanks :) Next time I'm going to take my time writing it.

217207 Im thinking of Making a TwiDash one
I have one story were one chapter made my friend cry :twilightoops: but thats it

Start of my Story
me::rainbowhuh:
Friend: :derpyderp2:
Middle
me::facehoof:
friend::fluttercry:
End
me::pinkiehappy:
Friend::raritycry::raritydespair:
That Chapter was Sucessful!

218049 Fair enough :rainbowkiss: Why don't you try and publish it? This is only my second fanfic, and I wasn't expecting this many views. It's worth a go at least. :twilightsmile:

218072 I have Published My Story
And it is my First:pinkiehappy:
Are you working on the next chapter?
im tracking it

Good to know :raritywink: and yes, I am. It'll be done by tomorrow. :scootangel:

218088 So, where is your chapter? Can't find it anywhere.:rainbowderp:

218146 Um its the Chapter called Depression in Truth of the Moon
The one before Comforting Scootaloo.

You sure it's on this site? Can't find it anywhere :derpytongue2:

Well, Happy Valentines Day folks!
Put this up a bit early for you guys :yay:

defiantly an interesting piece.

This is going to be a mind f*ck fic, isn't it? XD

Like that episode of Futarama with the honey

220217 hahaha i liked that episode :derpytongue2:
But I don't know where I'm going with this story. :scootangel:

doctors debating the health oh herself?
do you mean of and not oh?
cause there's no Comma?
Poor Scootaloo:raritycry::fluttercry::raritydespair::fluttershbad::fluttershyouch::fluttershysad:
Rainbow and Scootaloo have always been my 2 faves :scootangel::rainbowhuh:
Good Story!

220263 Sorry, didn't see your comment there :rainbowderp:
Yeah, bit of a typo there :twilightblush:
Yeah, same. Partly why I wrote this story.
Thanks for saying so :scootangel:

221323 Its Ok!:pinkiehappy:
I always spot spelling mistakes in storys
this is the only one so far :pinkiehappy:
which is a lot better than other stories i see

KEEP IT UP, THIS IS KILLER

some minor mistakes that ull find if you read threw it.

Its getting less Sad but still i have to hold back tears cause my brothers in the room :rainbowhuh:
Good Story though :pinkiehappy:

227313 Yeah, I know. :pinkiecrazy: Have to make it more sad, I guess.

227243 Pot calling the kettle black, my friend. :rainbowkiss:

227423:rainbowlaugh: hahaha that made no sense but ok I like kettle corn to.

227598 It's an expression :ajsleepy: Look it up. I'll explain it tomorrow, when I'm not on my ipod. What the hell is kettle corn? :rainbowhuh:

227620:pinkiegasp::pinkiegasp::pinkiegasp::pinkiegasp: you dont know what kettle corn is??!?!?!?!?!?

228009 No :fluttercry: Is it like popcorn or something?

228601 lol yes its a sweet pop corn

228799 Ah, okay. That was a complete guess there :rainbowkiss:

229114 lol figured its good stuff doesn't beat frybread mutton with a red chilly sauce but still good

Shit has hit the fuck

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