• Member Since 11th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen May 29th, 2019



My first My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic fic.

After a stormy night in Ponyville, the Cutie Mark Crusaders are getting ready to gather at their clubhouse to try to think of how to get their cutie marks for the day. Little do they realize, that fate has other plans for Scootaloo, while a mishap with magic leaves Twilight Sparkle powerless.

Chapters (10)
Comments ( 43 )

it good but some the paragraphs were a little long noting big can't wait till the next one i.imgur.com/pCMx3.gif

nice start ^^- :yay:

ooh.. a little shipping in there huh? nice going!
keep up the good work and i'll be tracking this story for sure!

I like this but you keep confusing applejack and applebloom

829361 I only found once instance in which I made the error and fixed it. Thank you for pointing it out to me. :pinkiehappy:

829533 alright, cool. Keep it up.

:fluttercry: You made me cry...I thought this story was gonna be happy, but it was good.

Wait what?!:pinkiegasp:
no, no, no!:applejackconfused:
you didn't!:fluttercry:
you didn't kill scoots!:raritycry:
damn i wanna know how its gonna go on, as it sais the story isn't complete yet...
keep up the good work:heart:

There there. It'll be ok.
I've already started the next part. Have at least two chapters to go. Dash is taking it hard though.

Why is everypony so mean to Scootaloo?

Does ponyville have the least competent doctors in history?
How do you fuck up a diagnosis that bad? damn!

To be honest, Equestria in general and even then Ponyville's not exactly a technological capital or anything. They rely heavily on their hooves, skills, and magic. All I have to say is just wait for the next chapter, and things will be explained.

860767 lol, i know. but that is one helluva lawsuit there:rainbowlaugh:
wait. was that distasteful to use the dash laugh in this situation?

Ok. So this one's a little long, hope you all don't mind. Not quite done yet either, but I think my next one will be about Twilight and Spike with the CMC showing up. Or, if you'd like, I could continue focusing on the CMC a little more. Would love to hear your thoughts. :pinkiehappy:

Man, you got me with that last chapter i thought Scoots died. :scootangel: Nice chapter way more happy then any of the other ones. :twilightsmile:

926584 Well, the first chapter was the accident after all. I promise that things will be (mostly) happy from here on out. At least for Scoots when she recovers.
926843 Yup. The original NES version at any rate. It just came to me one night at work that I should give Scootaloo some kind of dream sequence, so I figured on Kid Icarus, with Scootaloo being Pit. Anyways, I had to change some of the weapons and items around for the purpose though.

I know this one took longer and probably not as good as my other ones, but hopefully Part 5 will make up for it as the girls get ready for the pageant.

took a bit of a time to write this one eh?
No matter. It can happen :) Keep up the great work!

Well the main problems I've had with this one is trying to figure out what kind of complications Twilight and Spike would have in each other's bodies. Tried to avoid experiences that would lead towards me having to give this an adult rating anyways.

The picture at the bottom is a little rough, but I do think that it would be fairly similar to what Applebloom's cutie mark would look like. If there's any errors, do let me know, and do let me know what you think. :pinkiehappy:

Also want to thank darkangel_31314 for giving the story a once-over and helping me with ideas as I'm helping angel with the fic "Broken Mare"

pheew i thought i was going to have to rip off a changlings skin:pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy:

don't worry nexus yor skins safe for now:pinkiecrazy:

1198102 wait, changeling? Wha? Huh? I'm so confused! And that don't take much to do! :derpyderp2::derpyderp2::derpyderp2:

Here is the song that is sung within the fic, and I did ask for his permission to use his song, just in case. Better to be safe. Anyways, here it is. Ponyphonic's The Moon Rises. One of my favorite songs and if you haven't heard of him, give him a listen as well as his other two songs. :)

beautiful play... great chapter! can't say anything negative...

Did you make that picture at the bottom?

1318907 I'm assuming you mean Sweetie Belle's cutie mark? I sure did... well... to an extent. It was just finding some clipart and assing the heart shaped notes to it really. Same with the one in the last chapter with the flower, apple, and tools for Applebloom's. It just how I see their cutie marks would be.

On a side note, I plan on expanding their play into a seperate fic to go into more detail about the voicce of corruption and whatnot. AfterI finish this of course.

Ahhh, here it is. The final chapter, unless I happen to do an epilogue. I'll mark it as complete, at least for now. Do tell me whether or not you want a small epilogue. I have a small thought as to how I'd want to do it, but would love to hear what everypony thinks first.

And thank you all for bearing with me with increasingly longer upload times. First couple of chapters were easy, and others not so much.
Of course the release of Mists of Pandaria didn't help much either, plus procrastination.
At any rate, thanks to all who have read it, I probably will write other stories in the future as I think of them (I have several ideas milling about in my head)

But for now, have a safe and wonderfully evil Nightmare Night!

I think an epilogue would be cool, and YAY!!! Happy ending, no scootaloo tragedies, no sadness, just good feelings.

This is the first of three epilogues I wrote specifically for Fimfiction. I hope they turned out ok as I only spent about 15-20 minutes on each as I wanted them fairly short.

I have another fic in the works, fleshing out details, but I know most probably won't like it.

At any rate, these epilogues I see taking about 15 years after the event of Broken Scooters. Do enjoy!

This was such great story!

Are you going to do a story of them meeting at the Summer Sun Celebration or is this story line finished?

any chance of a sequel that's after the end of the main story but before the epilogues? maybe give us an insight of dash an scoots life's after these events? :rainbowderp: :scootangel:

2732784 Haven't thought of much of a sequel since I finished this. On this one I just wrote as it came to me and kept going. I've had lots of ideas that seem to have potential, but I have yet to get around to those, as well as helping my friend with Broken Mare and Rogue Stallion and giving her ideas for that.

All that coupled over other things and a new job I started a few months ago that gives me longer hours, working on a costume for an upcoming convention and getting dental work done.

But I'll see what I can do about a sequel, that is if I can think of anything that I could use.


I know that this fic is complete. But can you please go through this and break up paragraphs [A few are clumped together], and separate different speakers into their own lines?

It's making it hard to read this, and is the hugest error here. Personally I want to read this, but can you fix it up so that it's legible. Also:

Apple Bloom and Rarity both looked down at their sisters and smiled

Apple Jack.

Please PM me when the chapters have had a quick run through to fix the paragraph/dialog spacing errors fixed. Thank you.


And as for you, you can start on your detention assignment by writing 'I will not make fun of ponies in the hospital' 100 times and by thinking about what your going to say when I talk to your parents."

thats all that i have to say

Comment posted by Dragon of Shadows deleted Jan 23rd, 2016

FUCKING SUCCESS finally a story that has zecora in it and zecora rhymes perfectly without a mistake HELL TO THE FUCKING YEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What could possibly go wrong?"


Does ponyville have the least competent doctors in history?
How do you fuck up a diagnosis that bad? damn!

So good a comment I had to repeat

I so want to beat you up author for the last chapter and the beginning of this one.

In the third paragraph post Dear Princess Celestia, "It's going to be great seeing Sweetie Belle and Applebloom again" you meant Scootaloo not Sweetie Belle sense Sweetie Belle is writing this.

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