• Member Since 29th Dec, 2013
  • offline last seen Monday

The Infinity Doctor


Remember, the future starts, with YOU!

T

*Under Reconstruction*

I was just an ordinary human, doing an ordinary job- until I met a little girl named Screwball, everything pretty much went downhill from there.

Tags will change as the story progresses.
If you leave a like or dislike, please comment why-

Chapters (6)
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Comments ( 9 )

The problem is ...

... why the fuck should a reader care for the main character ?

You drop him just like this at the start of the story, we don't know anything about him. Why did he look like shit ? Why is name sound so dark and edgy ? Why the Princesse force him to work with AJ? Why the ponies want to blast him with the friendship canon ?

You need to work better on the hook in the first chapter.

3959092 I would kinda agree with him (3959652)....except I would put it in a more calm tone:trixieshiftleft:

there IS no background,details,or any of the sort.in order to get interested, we need to connect with the main character and relate to what he is going through:unsuresweetie:.

-ZerOAimi,
Editor,Proofereader,
and cares for others.

3960443 Yeah, I'm thinking about doing a re-write, or at least adding a few chapters before the current one.

im loveing this story so far.:pinkiehappy:

Rather enjoyable but has room for improvement. Come to me if you ever need help. Im good with details btw so I can help lengthen your chapters especially since detail is few in number for your story, Good job so far though

This is pretty good when can we expect another chapter.

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