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*Under Reconstruction*
I was just an ordinary human, doing an ordinary job- until I met a little girl named Screwball, everything pretty much went downhill from there.
Tags will change as the story progresses.
If you leave a like or dislike, please comment why-
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Okay then........
3956971 Could you elaborate on that, please?
The problem is ...
... why the fuck should a reader care for the main character ?
You drop him just like this at the start of the story, we don't know anything about him. Why did he look like shit ? Why is name sound so dark and edgy ? Why the Princesse force him to work with AJ? Why the ponies want to blast him with the friendship canon ?
You need to work better on the hook in the first chapter.
3959092 I would kinda agree with him (3959652)....except I would put it in a more calm tone
there IS no background,details,or any of the sort.in order to get interested, we need to connect with the main character and relate to what he is going through
.
-ZerOAimi,
Editor,Proofereader,
and cares for others.
3960443 Yeah, I'm thinking about doing a re-write, or at least adding a few chapters before the current one.
im loveing this story so far.
Rather enjoyable but has room for improvement. Come to me if you ever need help. Im good with details btw so I can help lengthen your chapters especially since detail is few in number for your story, Good job so far though
Going to make more?
This is pretty good when can we expect another chapter.