- Member Since 13th Mar, 2012
- offline last seen Feb 5th, 2015
Come Hither
I'm just full of bad ideas*. *By "bad ideas", I mean stories that are pony porn. Just clarifying.
Come Hither
Joined 13th Mar, 2012 ·
Offline
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notbad.jpg This was fairly well written. Good job. I did enjoy reading this one. Keep up the good work.
Yum yum yum. Starfall likes.
Quite well written, no huge errors. Nice work!
Welcome to the world of fanfiction, my friend.
Also: "I have a lot of mind to blow." = fantastic line.
Magical lesbian sex on the ceiling of a library? Hell, why not?
It was well written, I can't come up with any mistakes, but I wasn't really searching. The story was... well, clopfic-logic. Similar to "doujin-logic", if not the same.
It was not the most original clopfic, but certainly a good one, thumbs up for you.
This was nice^^
Me hoofsta.
Great story it may not have very much emotional buildup but it was very well writen and I would love to read more
Genuinely one of the better TwiDash Meet and Fucks that i've seen in a good long while. I saw no grammatical errors. The beginning was really Inceptiony and confusing. Was she dreaming about Twi reading porn, or did one of them dream about the whole fucking part? All in all your on Butterscotch Sundae level, so stick around for awhile.
As much as i never thought i'd say this, it needs more... NOT sex. I lose interest with a 4000 word sex scene. What i really would have wanted to see was more of the awkward Twi RD library scene... shit's funny.
First comment on my first story is negative, yet no dislikes yet. That's kind of cool, but now I'm going to have to take this whole ponies fucking ponies thing seriously. Thanks for showering me in your warm, sticky compliments, everyone*. They taste great, have nutritional value, and plant the seeds of inspiration for my next story.
327119
The beginning was something I wrote last to give the whole fic a tad more context. I guess I made it unclear, but it actually happened, and Twi and Dash had been doing the benefits thing for awhile by the time we reach the main body of the fic.
Sad to hear I made a grammatical error, but happy to hear it wasn't anything glaring. Nothing worse than a spelling error breaking immersion.
*The compliments are semen. Just clarifying.
Well for a first fanfiction... You did alright! And you did clopfiction the way its meant to be.
clopclopclopclopclopclopclopclopclopclopclopclop
Dat description made me
and dat fiction left me ....... 
Satisfied and messy I ummm I need a shower and a cold one at that
Very nicely done especially for your first fic.
I'm going to swallow my pride and comment on this, mostly because you say it's your first.
This was pretty incredible. It's the first clopfic I could honestly enjoy without trolling or humor, and I hate to admit to having done so. Despite the tagline of "generic TwiDash", it's imaginative and excellently detailed in all the right places. I'm going to be using this as an example to inform my own work (which doesn't happen under this name).
All I can really say is, "Whoa-oa, what a feeling! When you're fucking on the ceiling!"
First Twilight x Dash I've ever read... and the use of magic was quite interesting. The story wasn't better than any other clop I've seen, but the wording and grammar/spelling was top-notch. Good job!
"I think you may have sprained one when you were holding my forelegs behind my back. Remember?"
Oh... my!
At first I was intrigued, then I was enraptured. Then I saw your name and icon and I lolled.
This easily takes its place as one of the best clopfictions I've ever read. Just behind Romance Reports and one or two others.
As for criticism, the 'you may not be wearing the collar, but' comments fulfill their function, they're hot, but they do come out of nowhere. I was so blindsided that I actually had to go and look if there were any chapters before this one.
331192
I've written before, if that helps. You know those terrible, cliche, self-insert wish fulfillment stories we all write in the beginning? I've got those.
329808
Just because it's clop doesn't mean I can't type with both hands and then do a quick read-through before I post
331357
'The collar' is something I'd like to use as a sort of continuity marker, to show that all my fics take place in the Hitherverse (Comeverse?). I think I'll try slipping the references in outside of the actual bedroom scenes. Sentences with no context are jarring, and we can't have immersion broken in the middle of the steamy bits.
Good generic clopfic. Very sutible for your first real post.
Very good.
One of the most passionate and litterally off the wall (obvioudly barring meth addict trolls) clopfics I've read.
331545
typing a clop with both hands? what do u clop with?
you must have a lot of restraint good sir
*clop clop clop clop clop*
hm I don't know if boner should stay or go away...
This was my first clopfic. Not because it's the first I found, but because it was the first I felt was worth reading. I'm in shock at how you portrayed Rainbow and Twilight's personalities so spot-on in a context which the show would never be able to explore. I never even questioned what was happening.
Also, clopclopclopclop, etc.
EDIT: Oh, before I forget, the one problem I had: so many cheesy vagina euphemisms. But I dunno maybe I'm the only one who just wants it to be what it is lol.
EDIT 2: Since I was looking through it again. "panting heavily through her two nostrils" probably should just be "her nostrils."
I noticed a few very small errors, but the only one I remember is saying "to" where they (Dash, I think) should have said "too."
Not a bad effort overall.
that was asome!!! if you where to make more ... make a pinkie pie x pinkamina diane pie... that would be asome >///<
Very well written, and I enjoy the lack of the more vulgar explicit words. Very nice story.
<.<
>.>
It´s always the nerdy ones, isn´t it?
"I have a lot of mind to blow." <- That line needs to find its way into a movie, some action one would be the best, with lots of explosion and comedy. And hawt women.
us10.memecdn.com/Pringles--me-gusta_o_71595.jpg
This is all I can say.
i came
chzgifs.files.wordpress.com/2010/08/nph_loves_mondays.gif
Very fun and well written. Thank you!
I see this other fic that I can't remember the name of because I have a GREAT FUCKING MEMORY. anyways it had like five fucking chapters and I was like FUCK NOOOOOOOOOO. I see this one and I'm like SCORE!!! off tuh you Bobby, with live coverage of the 2012 Olympic games.
LIVE COVERAGE MEANS IT HAPPENED FIVE FUCKING HOURS AGO!!!!!
WHY THE FUCK HAVE I NOT SHUT MY FUCKING MOUTH YET?!?!?!?!?! SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!!!!!!!! SWAG.
HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS TURN OUT?
denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw1126_my-little-pony-friendship-is-magic-brony-im-with-twilight-on-this-one.gif
It's over 9000 (Views!) When I first read it, it had 9001 views!
I CAME
Dat was awesome! and thats coming from a fellow writer!
btw, your story got read out by Mindlessgonzo! congraz!
This story has been read by Mindless Gonzo
link here
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LPQhxzxJ7Po
this was actually amazing for a first fanfic
good story.
I squirtled... And I'm not even a guy....
Oh yes. Now Thats the Twilight Sparkle I know, using her intelligence and magic directly to manipulate and arrange things her way, just like a second Cel/Tro/Mollestia.
Now, imagine Twilight creating delayed smart versions of those spells, to have emplaced, sleeping, in the pranksters, so even when Applejack demands she tells if she did it, she can truthefully say she didnt, because it was conditions that triggered them.
Then theres the binary situational setups.
Oh The Possibilities.
I Twilight Sparkled everywhere while reading this
Very good starting point for any Twi fic: research an ancient fertility ritual to set the mood
well written, in my view. The ceiling session was imaginative, mostly because there was no strain on RD and she could let her wings stiffen naturally without sending both of them plummeting to the bed
I always like horn stimulation in unicorn/alicorn stories, so this fit the bill on various levels.
I don't really read these for pleasure just bored and wanna read :T but don't judge cloppers.
Couple of details I loved about this fic:
Twilight and Rainbow Dash have different kinks and sweet spots.
Great description of expression. Especially the one Twilight did when they first ended up on the ceiling (yeah, never thought I'd be saying that).
Twilight and Rainbow Dash also have different physical tells. I thought it was very cute and fitting that Twilight would be the tense one with her eyes scrunched closed while Rainbow Dash just becomes slightly lethargic with pleasure.
Who'd have thunk it, but there's actually some measure of skill involved in writing clop, and you sir have some skills.
Excellent use of verbiage and feeling. I can honestly say that this is one of the few smut stories that I'm going to include in my favorites because I think it was well-written and contained meaningful emotion.
One of the better clop fics I have read.
Have you ever heard of a subtle clopfic title?
Very Hot. :3