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The discovery of a tiny extraterrestrial object within our own solar system makes a strangely equine alien race aware that the Earth is inhabited by an intelligent species, and they're on their way to come visit.

But since space is a really, really, really big place, they aren't going to get here for about a thousand years. They do have FTL communication, though, so while we wait maybe we'd like to be pen pals...

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Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 357 )
Sihv #1 · Dec 10th, 2013 · · ·

The first (known) instance of interplanetary phone sex occurred eleven hours later.

I can't even pretend to be surprised by this.

The first (known) instance of interplanetary phone sex occurred eleven hours later.

Well, at least we know some things never change. As for the missing inspiration, yeah; I remember something like that but can't for the life of me remember the title or author.

Very very interesting. I like it.

What a great story! Thank you so much for sharing it with the rest of us :pinkiehappy:

O, wonder! How many goodly creatures are there here!


:unsuresweetie: Certainly a weird idea and concept, but at the same time it .... makes sense? :rainbowhuh:

:flutterrage: You, young mister, have a very annoying habit of making my mind think in very convoluted ways.:trixieshiftleft: I find it both refreshing and bothersome.

Keep up the good work.

More traditional factions railed against the process, arguing that humans should only be permitted to copy the genetic information of Earth species into their bodies the way God had originally intended.


I find that last line to be extremely ominous.

The question you should be asking is: Who invaded who?

Eakin, who are you kidding?

The Ponies conquered Earth several years ago. We just need the older non-mind controlled generations to die off before their conquest is complete :p

3607926 We don't know the full extent of Earth's influence on Equestria. Possible sequel?
Still, the Equestrians managed to instigate a war, an entirely new tech path, and the site's only sane Conversion Bureau scenario even before the colonists arrived and brought the portal. I think that counts as a cultural win.

For the first time, Earth heard the voice of one of these ‘pony’ creatures they’d been writing back and forth with for so long.

The first (known) instance of interplanetary phone sex occurred eleven hours later.

My favorite line! :rainbowlaugh:

Well, this was a nice and fun read.:twilightsmile:

This >> With a single spark the portal began to open, but the invasion was already over. <<

If you do not cease your behaviour, you will be destroyed.

Done by Ponies who just want to be nice.

You can take care of your enemy either by killing them, or getting them to accept and adrore you to the point where they would save your life at the extent of their own.

Im just puzzled at the idea of having to transmit a physical device when you can transmit the information. Oh, that was it, Contact.

We built a spare. :twilightblush:

that was amazing. i never thought of it being an invasion until that last line

Yeah, I kind of ran into that in my head as I approached the end of the story. I hand-waved it as the two spheres that were the 'keys' to the portal having to have been in the same place as one another at some point because something something quantum entanglement something something magic.

uh, hold on... Invasion?

Was this a long... oh right, ageless Alicorns.

Still, this was an invasion story? Well a very odd one at that, due to the fact that humanity invaded Equestria rather hard as well with ideas... it seems to the point that one could not....

Oh.... oh my. To the point that one could not tell if one was from Earth or Equestria... oh my.

That, just... oh wow. that is... what a very long term plan it seems, still a very good story and frankly well written.


Dont try to understand entanglement, like I can, your brains will melt out of your ears. One of which will be two weeks to the north, and the other will be fish days to the hair. :twilightoops:

Looks like Im still catching up with stories and authors I read here on FimFic before I signed on. I find Hard Reset and all its sidequels very intriguing, but I wonder how many people actually understand what occured.

Well, that worked.

I was pretty much making it up as I went along anyway :twilightblush:

3607926 We invaded and assimilated each other simultaneously. Duh. :rainbowhuh:

Jokes aside that was quite fantastic. Defiantly one for my favourite favourites folder. :twilightsmile:


Thus is demonstrated the power of a true puppeteer. :trollestia:

"But they were on the losing side of history, and their great-great-great-grandchildren would read their accounts and arguments, then turn the page of their book with unicorn magic and chuckle at how quaint the notion seemed."

Wow, dude. Really? That's really offensive.

3608282 That is already happening, currently with slavery, soon racism, and eventually homophobia. I also fail to see how it is offensive.

Eakin #26 · Dec 10th, 2013 · · 1 ·

It wasn't really intended as a shot at religion, just how the goalposts move as as societies progress, and how 'liberal/progressive' and 'conservative/traditional' shift with the times. And the 'quaintness' was supposed to refer to the not-gene-splicing attitude, not worshiping a deity in general.

I seem to have a knack for pissing off my more religious readers without ever actually meaning to. :ajsleepy:


Human Sacrifice
Worship of Leaders (i.e. Pharaohs)
Geocentralism (Sun goes around the Earth)
Racial Supremacy

Lots of ideas got the same treatment - religiously important in the past and regarded as ridiculous and stupid in the present. How is it offensive? Depressing, sure, at least in this particular context, but it's just human nature and how history works in general. Failing to see the part that could be intrepreted as an attack on someone or something.

Funny, you were just talking about unnecessary sequels, and I find myself sort of wishing for one here. Of course, it probably wouldn't come out very well because the story, funnily enough, is over. But you've opened up an interesting world here, the sort of place it would be nice to play around with. Or in. Whatever. :derpytongue2:

Upvoted and faved, even if it'll never actually be updated! :rainbowwild:

I like the bitcoin reference. Truly an area where it would shine.


Offending religious people is easy. They just have to decide to be offended, which they do frequently.


If I called your belief system "quaint", I would not have to explain to you how it is offensive.

Bravo, this was a fantastic story.

The first (known) instance of interplanetary phone sex occurred eleven hours later.

The only thing I am surprised at is that it took eleven hours.


Yeah, it should have taken less than an hour and maybe a week to set up the 1-900 numbers.

A sequel to this would be the unnecessariest sequel of all. By the end of this you've basically got two identical planets populated by human-pony hybrids, who've taken the best elements of each other's magic and tech. But the interesting thing, to me, was exploring how an 'invasion' like this could work as an extremely long game, sharing nothing but information with one another, and how the particular quirks of humanity might play out. By this point that element's more or less gone. If you want to write a sequel, though, knock yourself out.

I think bitcoin is a really neat idea, personally. The people who go on about how it will inevitably replace the US Dollar as the world's true reserve currency make me roll my eyes, though.


Well I suppose they might have needed to wait until they were alone in their respective laboratories.

feel a great deal life some sort

should be "like"

intention of burying the lede


Apparently, the lead scientist had declared without quite managing to hide the scorn in his voice, they were simply magic.


The first (known) instance of interplanetary phone sex occurred eleven hours later.


Apparently, there was a certain segment of their population that was utterly fixated on the prospect of growing hands.

:facehoof: LYRA!!!

Well that was a cool story.
I feel like "assimilation" might be a better word for the last line.

Right on with the life -> like thing. However 'burying the lede' is legit.

I'll make the fix.

Yeah, this story reminds me of the Chinese assimilating their Mongol invaders.

A mutual affair?

Rather pleasingly, I wrote a story that could be both a prequel and a sequel to this one. And in my head it is. :pinkiehappy:

Yes. The rarest and most special sort of invasion, in fact. The mutual, non-violent, nobody-actually-noticed invasion. The best sort, yes?

3608329 This was a very impersonal story. I feel like if he expanded it into a "One Hundred Years of Solitude"-like book (EXCELLENT BOOK BTW, you should ALL read it!) where dozens of generations were chronicled through a few family lines, it could easily be a 200,000 word epic. Eakin make it so!

Come to think of it, this is basically a short ponies and space version of that book.

Valsher #42 · Dec 10th, 2013 · · 16 ·


I see. That makes sense.

This is why I believe that the Bible is the absolute and inerrant Word of God. There are no moving goal posts. It's just one set of moral standards that apply to all humans at all times.

Sure, it gets corrupted and twisted and perverted by said humans sometimes (a lot), but what the Bible actually commands is a whole lot closer to "love and tolerance" than some believe. If more "Christians" actually read their Bible, we wouldn't have problems like racism or homophobia.

I agree that those ideas are totally wrong and if anyone ever tried to use God or His Word to uphold them, they were unequivocally wrong to do so.

I guess I got offended because it felt like you were basically saying "stupid conservatives". And I really hate it when people write a story like this and inject their political views as though they were gospel.

On a more positive note, I liked the writing overall. I feel like it could be a decent setup for a more personal story, as in Project Sunflower. But, I think that would detract from the overall point being made.

Keep up the good work!



are you British perchance? :rainbowhuh:

Nope, born and raised in New Jersey.

The first (known) instance of interplanetary phone sex occurred eleven hours later.

I think you mean, "The first (known) instance of interplanetary pone sex."

Sorry, sorry.

But anyway, I think it's almost a nasty cop-out to suddenly switch to the word "invasion" at the end. WHAT A TWWEEEEEEEST! It turned out that when they said, "friendship", they meant, "peacefully, voluntarily, and productively getting along to mutual benefit"! OH NOES! THEY BEAT US WITH DIPLOMANCY!

I see literally nothing wrong with this scenario.

The way I understood this is that pony culture and human culture merged of the course of the 1000 years, to the point where they where one and the same, and no pure human or pony were left. I, for one, accept our new Ponyman overlords. :scootangel:

The original story (which I still can't remember!) ended on that line. Of courser, in that story the aliens were superior in pretty much every regard and the flow of influence was a great deal more one-way than it is here. Call it a translation artifact.

I wasn't trying to bring politics into it, at least not in any recognizable form. 'Religious' here was shorthand for 'conservative,' and not in the Conservative party sense but in the sense of having unchanging ideas and priorities. The fact that they are the holdouts for 'the old ways' which are compared to today's standards radically transhumanist, and that another hundred years later the idea of not genetically modifying your body is ridiculous to even consider is supposed to convey just how drastically things have changed.

I also make no judgements on any of these changes being 'good' or 'bad' from a moral point of view. The impersonal tone, I hope, says more 'this is the way things happened' and less 'isn't it great that things happened this way?' After all, humanity as we would conceive of it today is pretty much gone by the end of the story. Up to you to decide if what we changed into is better or worse.

Several more paranoid military figures suggested that some sort of extraterrestrial combat unit be created to battle whatever invaders might be on their way, even going so far as to stock an underground base in Brazil with a small division of elite troops.

Hello, Commander. In light of the recent extraterrestrial incursion, this Council of Nations has convened to approve the activation of the XCOM Project. You have been chosen to lead this initiative. To oversee our first—and last—line of defense. Your efforts will have considerable influence on this planet's future. We urge you to keep that in mind as you proceed. Good luck, Commander.

I knew it was only a matter of time before someone noticed that.

But who starts in South America? Everyone knows Europe or Asia are where it's at.

3608535 Yeh, the only time I started in South America was to complete "A Continental Fellow" (amusingly: before Enemy Within, that achievement had the LEAST completion rate. Currently, it's second to the somewhat difficult "Army of Four", even though "don't get Squad Upgrades" is a common 'make the game harder' challenge)

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