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The DM


Dungeon Master (DM) - the organizer and participant in charge of creating the details and challenges of a given adventure, while maintaining a realistic continuity of events.

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This story is a sequel to Voyage's End


Eleven years has passed since ponies and humans met for the first time. Now, Twilight ventures out on her most incredible endeavor to date.

"Once more, we boldly go into that great unknown." -Twilight Sparkle

Edited by: Way2Dawn

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 112 )

Live Long, And Prosper.

Not a bad story, though I do have to seriously question the timeline. 11 years, no face-to-face contact? No summits on Mars, Equestria, or other colonized worlds? Not even on the ship they met in the first story? I find that terribly hard to believe. They're each other's source of first contact; that's a staggering turning point for any civilization. The first story mentioned humanity had star charts with other habitable worlds. Would they not have shared them in all that time? Why is this the pony's only apparent second voyage to the stars?

I could honestly see this as taking place only a short time (likely days, weeks, or months at most) after the events of the first story better than it is here. Especially with the explanations that you're giving for the different atmospheric readings between then and now. Edit: Not to mention Trevor's reaction to Twilight's magic. I can buy him being surprised that Twilight teleported them, but I can't believe he'd be wholly ignorant it would be possible. Again, this is something I feel would have become known when the two races started talking to each other.

What happens planet-side and the rest is nice and all, but I just can't reconcile the setup to it. It just doesn't work for me.

Pretty good. I don't expect more, but extra adventures of Twilight would be nice. :pinkiehappy:

A story not hamfisting a message about humans being evil? Count me in!

It's a much better effort than the previous attempt at a sequel.

This is heartbreaking :fluttershysad:

upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/d4/George-W-Bush.jpeg
"Yup, uh, a comet! It was TOTALLY a comet, fellas."

Side note: If humans don't have any sort of life extension at this point, or any bit of augmentation, I will be mildly disappointed.

If there can be a bear on the surface, then humans wouldn't have had to leave the planet. It simply makes no sense.

Earth is about to be the first planet ponies have ever stepped hoof on.

You know, I'm pretty sure they've set foot on at least one planet before.
Also:

that has peaked our interest

PIQUED, IT HAS PIQUED THEIR INTEREST.

Very nicely done. This definately fits with the tone of the first story better. I look forward to hopefully seeing more in this world. :pinkiehappy:

5705090
Thanks, we'll get the fixed

Aww... aww man. Bit disappointed you went with No Transhumanism Allowed - or at least so it seems - but I can understand why. And that picture at the end... oh my feels. You've killed them.:raritycry:

Manhattan has basically no ruins above knee level? Just how far in the future is this supposed to be? Or did humans actually take the trouble to raze everything before leaving?

5705353
~17000 years after the comet.

I'm amazed that bears survived the cataclysm. And that Twilight doesn't recognize bears. And that they don't have names for the metals in the crater; those elements would have to be in the island of stability.

Aside from that, a wonderful coda to a beautiful story. Thank you for it.

Like others, the timing and some of the science here is shaky at best. Eleven years without face-to-face contact? I suppose if the humans are letting the ponies set the pace and the ponies are nervous about the humans, it MIGHT make sense but it's still a bit odd. Earth is relatively lush but we haven't gone back? A bit odd to me but after a thousand years of waiting for the Earth to heal, I guess that going back would seem a tad odd to me too. The lack of knowledge from both the humans and the ponies seem ... strange.

BUT!

Overall, I think it's a MUCH nicer look than what little of the previous I managed to read - it's about Twilight and not some roughly named near-anonymous gun runners or whathaveyou - and the things that are a bit shaky can be explained away using ye olde authorial handwavium. I'm glad to have read this. Good job.

PS: Just noticed exactly what the picture was and was about - oh mah GAWD that was brilliant. Excellent job.

5704673
Comets can't melt steel beams!

I liked the story, however something that bothers me in most first contact stories on FiM is the strange lack of surprise and discombobulation at the fact that either party even knows what a bear is. Or an apple. Or a France.

Hell, they should be spending the first few months in mild hysterics as they ponder the consequences that there might be a higher power and that he/she/it likes to shake the mortals fishbowl now and then for amusement.

Huh. First contact story with no massive summits, just a walk in new york and humor an alien princess...

I had to go back and re-read You're voyager story. It still makes me tear up at the end.

This... Seems kinda like we're just saying, welcome to the stars, out of the way and let the grown ups handle things.

That ending though. You really know how to end a story/ chapter. Magnificent.

5705071 they've had 17000 years to repopulate, most species went extinct or endangered when it hit earth

Lovely work. I'd love to see more from this and perhaps some sci-fi elements come from it.

As the sun set on the east coast

How did the humans react to moving Sun and Moon thing again? I would think that they would notice a freaking star orbiting a planet.

Also, 200 000 years minus 15 000 years still leaves a lot of time. How did earth even survive that long?

Oh... a sequel.
Bueno.

5706486

No no. An impact whit enough force to make a crater the size of a few countries would create a huge descent in temperatures caused by the dust it would create. Coupled whit the number of volcanos that erupted due to the impact, the final result would be an incredibly dense cloud of dust and particles that would completely block out the sun.

Anything bigger than a rat just shouldnt be there.

AND, even assuming everything I just said was utter non-sense, if i bear could survive in the surface of earth, humans would be living there aswell. 1700 years is more than enough time to come back to our old planet.

5706598

Equestria's sun is not a star. You can tell; when Celestia casts the spell to move it in the show, it appears to begin moving instantly. Considering the speed of light, which is fixed, this means that this "sun" is very close to the planet, which also means it is very small. Too small for sustained nuclear fusion. Ergo, not a star.

5706751 Exactly, the fiction is very much prevailing over any attempt at science in this story.

Not to mention, you'd think they'd know better than to scan the gasses of a volcanic plume and assume the whole planet was covered with that. Given that most of the planet is clearly not inhospitable, how in the world did they manage to pick such a bad location, and then not make several more measurements from different locations to confirm? Anyone familiar with astronomy, climatology, astrobiology, or other related areas of research would immediately doubt the results and make measurements somewhere else when it's abundantly clear there are large areas of living green stuff visible to the naked eye from space.

Repetition is a hard-wired protocol of any scientific experiment. You cannot rely on just one result.

Advice to those wishing to write 'hard' science fiction: Study the science first. You need many solid facts to build the fiction upon.

5707190
Interesting. I wonder if Equus is one of those lone wandering planets in outer space since there's no star to form a system.

5707230 I do too. I think that might actually be the case, which makes me feel bad for the orphan planet. :( No star to orbit.

5706598 The Earth is several billions of years old. 200,000 years don't really amount to much in the relative scale

Dropping the specimen tube, Twilight spun around only to lock eyes with what looked like a large predatory animal that looked oddly like a small Ursa Minor. Remembering the amount of destruction that Ponyville suffered at the claws of that particular animal, Twilight ignited her horn.

... They've got bears in Equestria. Fluttershy is besties with one. Twilight has seen her manhandle him.

5707233
I'm more worried if it accidentally crashes into a nearby system. Murphy's law and all, though don't think it would happen for a while yet.
5707235
But nuclear weapons! *gasp* maybe even Giant Laser Dish of doom!

Don't look at me like that. It could happen.

5706751 Shit. I'm pretty sure an impact large enough to obliterate a significant portion of the middle east would crack the planet in half.

5707254 Damn Jupiter wasn't doing it's job as the Solar Systems Tank, and Saturn may be off-Tank but he sucks at it and had IRL stuff to do that day.

5707361 Earth wasn't even in the raid group! It's the Systems banker planet and it still got ganked, I blame PVP. I'm looking at you Beatlegeuse.

Twilight merely let out a deep breath as she walked over to glass cass holding her suit. Case
before snapping her saddlebags magnetic clamps to her sides saddlebags' apostrophe
pulled it on before tunning her personal radio tuning
Excelent. My name is Doctor Trevor Maltese, Excellent
and that has peaked our interest.” piqued. (TWILIGHT RAGE-MODE ENGAGED, PEAK, PEEK, PIQUE; THEIR, THEY'RE, THERE)
Twilight could begin to really make out the terrain of the region really is superfluous here.
massive industrial complexes, crumbling towers semicolon; and? I've never been good at that, but I know this is funky.
sure the video and audio recorder was turned on. were
still within the body of the space craft. universally, spacecraft
Slowly, Twilight reached into her saddle bags one word or two? Check above.

I fail to see how ALL TRACES of Manhattan disappear after merely 37,000 years.
That much artificial edifice would last millions, barring a volcano erupting on top of the location.

It is still a good story. I love attempts at hyper realistic HIE style. You've got a thumbs up. :twilightsmile:

This was a fun read, and I love how you left the truth of what happened up to the reader::scootangel:

Twilight nodded. “But that wouldn’t account for the radioactive elements.”
“Correct. The radioactive elements were released when nuclear power plants and weapons were destroyed following the impact.

Oh really now?:duck: Or how about:

a land mass known collectively as the Middle East. In reality, most of that landmass was gone, replaced by a massive water filled crater from where the comet impacted. Twilight tried to remember the names of the countries that once existed where the comet landed: Israel, Lebanon, Jordan, Syria, Iraq, Iran, Qatar, and Turkey.

Yes, the earth was surprised by a "comet" one of the brightest objects in the sky. Oh, and this "comet" which could have impacted anywhere on a globe that is 70% water just happened to hit the 30% that was land, and in that small area, it "just happened" to hit the middle east. It's a complete accident that the most unstable part of the world turned into a enormous crater that filled the atmosphere with radioactivity leftover from nuclear weapons.

Yeah... :unsuresweetie:

5707254

Well, Earth has crashed into a protoplanet the size of mars before, and it came out pretty well so.. A piece of rock about 15-20 km in size won't do that kind of damage.

Well that was depressing. At least we saved the Statue of Liberty.

5708792 earth was a molten ball at the time, and that collision created the MOON.

Also do you have any idea how big the Middle East is?

Are the mane six dead? Well besides twilight of course.

I loved this. It is really a great sequel to Voyage's end.

5709081 Although the earth was young. It wasn't a molten ball of magma anymore. A blazing hell? Yes it was. But with a stable crust formed millions of years Theia even hit. So crust or no crust. If a similar event would happen today it would result in the same awnser. Earth would swallow that protoplanet right up. Together with a ton of debris flown out yeah. But Earth would be able to keep its hold.

And second. The total area of the Middle East is about 8650000 sq Km. Lets say about 80 % of that is gone, so about 6920000 has been destroyed. A comet 53 km wide, going 50 km/sec and coming in at an angle of 45 degrees would do the trick. But won't disturb the earth itself. Not in the slightest.

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