This story is a sequel to Genealogy - (or the Mating Habits of Nocturnes Pegasi)
They have waited a thousand years in darkness to meet their creator, but tonight, their wait will be over.
And their lives will never be the same again.
Written for the Equestria Daily 2013 Batpony Writeoff
Written as a standalone as part of the Nocturne saga, but can be placed after these stories (most recent on top):
Genealogy (or the Mating Habits of Nocturne Pegasi)
Two Unicorns Walk Into a Village
To Sleep, Perchance to Dream
Related works:
Diplomatic Security (set 200 years in the past)
Foals Tales from the Book of Tradition : History of the Night Pegasus
The Monster in the Twilight
Diplomacy by Other Means
The Traveling Tutor and the Royal Exam
I’ve been meaning to get this written ever since I completed Genealogy, but I just haven’t had the time. Thank you to EqD for running a contest to get me off my lazy flank. I hope you all enjoy it.
The excellent artwork is called Nightmare
Credit: Gardelius at Deviantart.com
Editing assistance by : Peter, Tek,
Bad Horse, Mook Massacre and a chicken who prefers to remain anonymous.
As noted in the description, I would like to thank EqD for getting me off my rump to write this one. It's been stuck in my mind for nearly a year now, and it's nice to see it on paper.
This story is rather good in my humble opinion!
I know this is part of a body of non-canon fiction that will likely be obliterated by the show, but... I really like what you've set out here. The tragic and noble elements mesh very well together, and I like the tone you set. Great reading!
3413755 Yeah, I expect the batponies to wind up being some weird subterranean race that feeds on mushrooms or something. I'm looking forward to the seaponies in S4, though. I see much water in fanfics in the future.
3413799
I, for one, welcome our new mycophagic overlords!
[aplauso]
That might be a problem, depending on how closely you plan to stick to canon...
I know that I've read that part about the elements falling before! Was it in a teaser or something? That's going to drive me nuts.
And wasn't it Honesty and Loyalty that fell together in that version? *raises eyebrow* Somebody have a change of heart about a certain ship recently?
Granted, this is all based on an amazingly vague memory and a sense of déjà vu.
I've always said that the story of the Celestial War is the biggest story that canon will never tell (although Season 4 may force me to eat those words), but this is a touching treatment of it and I'm glad I took the time to read it. You've got lovely headcanon.
3414639 From To Sleep, Perchance to Dream (Yes it is a little Rarijack)
Then Loyalty fell, hitting the floor with a crash. Luna had always been there for her, they had always stuck together through thick and thin. Until now.
Kindness barely made a noise as it fell, the stone silently formed around it and it shyly rolled to a far corner of the room, as if to flee from one who would be so cruel as to imprison their own sister.
Generosity and Honesty fell at the same time as if they could not exist without each other, each rolling into a stone ball and laying at her hooves with the rest of the rubble.
3416209 Thank you. I use Headcanon And Shoulders every morning. And yes, I'm willing to bet Season 4 kicks the heck out of my background. As much as I want Twilight to have gone back in time to see Luna's fall in S4, I'm suspecting more that it is her living in a pensieve memory.
3414433 I'm almost willing to bet that S4 keeps the Elements with the M6 exclusively, as well as keeps any romantic entanglements away from them, and keeps Twilight in Ponyville. (although the possibility of a Ponyville Castle exists...)
3416274
Well, yeah, but just because you deviate from canon in one aspect doesn't necessarily mean you'll deviate in some other, unrelated aspect, y'know? I think I get your drift, though.
I like it, I've been enjoying your take on the bat ponies for quite a while now, and this is a nice expansion on it.
Oh man that was great. Very touching.
finallyadecentstoryinthiscontest
asidefrommyownofcourseThe story-within-the-story got a little monologuey, but that ending brought me chills. I love how you used the entire race as a single character.
This felt much more complete and had a sort of closure over what will likely not be continued by Prancy, who did well to try and establish the innocence and uniqueness of the Batponies as their own race who've just existed rather than created by Luna. All in all though, I felt this story was just overall more emotionally contextual to the show and did very well to tie itself into already established lore of the show.
I did feel that Luna had no real emotion in her dialogue, no difference in speech over her sister at least where as in Prancy you get more of a feel that if you were reading two character's in dialogue alone without any form of exposition or being told who is speaking, that you'd be able to tell who is who. Story wise this is marvelous. And due to being more of a recap with filling in gaps in history in the way you see things, I honestly can't fault the dialogue since it stays purposeful to the context of the story and does a great job more so towards the final half.
No, nitpicks aside, I put you over Prancy in that this felt more Equestria and gave us closure vs just creating a history that may or may not serve purpose down the road that leaves us only with having to accept the rest as "And then BATPONIES happened."
There is no way I'll be able to read all 44 Batpony stories, which is why I won't be casting any votes for anyone's story, but I wish you all luck.
On character and world building on a from scratch level, in a purely fanon pov, I do love Prancy's attempt at establishing the origins of how Luna met and recruited the Batponies into quelling the lands and convincing her and her Sister to rise up and become Equestria's new rulers (that last stuff is mostly implied/left to the imagination) which was very fun. I hope he one day sees its potential for being a really amazing 2-4 chapters long epic at the least. Oh well. On to the next batpony story!
(I said it would be neigh impossible, didn't say I'd not *try* to read all 44 :P)
loved it!
Where has this been my whole life!?!? I love your Nocturne, they are probably the best description of bat ponies I've read. Great world building, well paced, gotta love it!
Poor Celly is never going to live down the cake thing, is she?
Dammit, man... this whole summation gave me chills. So horribly sad...
Wait, so... It was Twilight who requested that? Hah!
This whole fricking short story is made of chills and awesome and the occasional manly tear.
Remarks and corrections:
> the instructions and stories left behind by the the first clan leaders.
Double "the"
> but I am proud of you, the descendents of my creations.
should be "descendants".
So all batponies are magic illusion. Somone has to cast some powerful dispel spell and all batponies will become normal ponies.
AWESOME...JUST AWESOME !!!!!!! I would like very much to see more bat ponys in the fim series. More night oriented adventures. Interactions with lunas' night guards.
And Celestia was correct in that. But! Give ponies a choice. "Hey, are there any volunteers to become Ponies of the Night? It's this new thing my sister cooked up that could be pretty cool!"
Even if they only got a hooffull of volunteers, over time their children would multiply. As happened with the Nocturne. *baps sunbutt for missing the obvious*
8163036
consider for a moment this was 1000 years ago and they had just fought a tyrant who twisted the world around to suit his own whims
the scars were too fresh, the idea probly reminded her too much of something discord would do.
Ow...my heart...
This one... the feels are overwhelming. If only Hasbro would do something as excellent as this, especially now...
Thank you for this story.
i may be a lolly Pegasus but i am true follower of Princess Luna.
and thank you Stellar Light Sparkle fore pointing me to this story.
9290193
Hasbro would not be able to do this story.
this needs to be Lyonsgate.
9291756
I totally agree. Make Peter Jackson direct it.
9292510
O yes.
Well done! A nicely written and heartfelt story.
I see no need for the "SAD" label.
How much time passed between Luna/NMM creating the Nocturne and her killing them in her battle with Celestia?