Taken for Granite

by Cloudy Skies

Fourty-Nine Weeks Later: Epilogue and Author's Notes

“Bye!” Pinkie said, leaning forward to steal a quick hug that Fluttershy happily returned.

“Goodbye, and thank you for inviting me,” Fluttershy replied, smiling and dipping her head. “I’ll see you two tomorrow?”

At Pinkie Pie’s side, Applejack nodded, and with that, Fluttershy trotted off to catch up to Rainbow Dash and the others. Pinkie waved one more time as she disappeared into the deepening dusk and the trees beyond.

Standing together with Applejack at the threshold of their home like this was a little weird, exchanging good-byes and see-you-laters with everypony one by one. Usually, ponies just left her parties whenever they felt like it. Goodbyes were for the last leavers, or if she caught somepony on their way out.

On the other hoof, she’d never before hosted a party quite like this. This particular day had a little less bouncing and dancing than most. Today had been a day of chatter, muted laughter, and a bare minimum of party games. It would do for now. She could always try to turn the music up a little next year. Right now, Pinkie was content to stand side by side with Applejack and thank their guests for attending her—no, for attending their party. She leaned on Applejack and let out a content sigh when she felt Applejack’s tail wrap around her own in response.

“It ain’t called a cake!” Applebloom said. “It’s called a wake.”

“I didn’t say it was called a cake, I said there was supposed to be cake!” Sweetie Belle said.

“Well, I didn’t see any cake,” Scootaloo said.

Pinkie Pie giggled at the trio of fillies, Applebloom giving a wave to her sister in passing. Applejack tilted her head to watch the departing Cutie Mark Crusaders with a minute frown crossing her face.

“There was cake?” Applejack asked.

Pinkie nodded. “Yep! There was!”

“When the hay was there cake? I didn’t see nothing but sandwiches and the pastries we brought.”

“There was cake until the first guests arrived and you went to answer the door and I went to eat the cake, duh!” Pinkie said. It was really quite obvious, and clearly Applejack agreed because she didn’t press the issue. She just did that little roll of the eyes and the sigh that she did whenever Pinkie was right but Applejack didn’t want to admit it—which was fine so long as it ended with a peck on her cheek. And it did.

“You could wait with that until we’ve left.”

Pinkie Pie grinned, both at Inkie’s words and at Applejack’s faint little blush. Applejack grabbed her hat and cleared her throat, nodding at Pinkie’s family. Inkie, Blinkie, mom and dad, they were all here for her. Pinkie felt a little clump build in her throat, but it wasn’t painful at all, more like a little chunk of taffy she hadn’t chewed properly. They were all here for her—for them—but more than that, they were here for Granny Pie.

“I suppose we have to make this trip next year too, huh?” Clyde said. The bearded stallion worked his mouth soundlessly even when he didn’t speak, and Pinkie knew he missed his pipe, but both she and Applejack had agreed their didn’t want any smoking in their home. It was strange how much more often ponies understood and respected things when you actually talked to them.

“That would be really, really super-sweet and nice,” Pinkie said. “You’re staying for another few days, right? Because we’d love to show you around town! The skating rink, the park, the other park with the bouncy castle—”

“And you gotta come visit the farm before you leave. Standin’ invitation, of course,” Applejack said.

“I’m sure we’ll have time,” Sue said, adjusting her glasses and offering a small smile at that. “We’d better get back to the hotel before they close up for the night, though. And you better come visit us more often, young lady.”

“Sure!” Pinkie said. “Maybe next time Applejack and I can bring some of our other friends?”

“As long as they’re not picky about where they sleep,” Clyde said, giving a little snort, but Pinkie saw it for what it was, saw the smile lurking. She’d have to ask Twilight if she wanted to come with, and Rarity, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash and Spike, too.

“Well, see you then. Sleep tight!” Inkie said, setting off a chorus of good-byes and good-nights while the Pies filed out through the door. Most of them, at least. Blinkie paused at the doorstep, hesitating, and Pinkie thought maybe she was about to say something really confusing like she always did. Instead, she looked past Pinkie to Applejack and smiled. Pinkie would barely call it a smirk, an unpracticed attempt at happy that rated two out of ten tops, but on Blinkie, it was huge. Without so much as a word on the matter, she too was gone, leaving Applejack and Pinkie Pie alone.

“Well. You might say that was a bit of a doozy,” Applejack said.

“I totally would say that,” Pinkie said, grinning. She turned around and rested her head on Applejack’s back, looking up and around at their home. The fall theme worked pretty well, with red and yellow balloons, fallen leaf-themed banners and all, and the guests’ appetites weren’t hurt by the fact that she couldn’t come up with more than twelve different pastries that were appropriate for the last weekend of fall before winter. In hindsight, that was a bit of a mixed success.

“No leftovers,” Pinkie sighed. “We didn’t plan this well enough.”

Applejack chuckled. “If you don’t mind me saying, I think the bar for planning was set pretty darn low when you insisted we invite people over here of all places. This is more a construction site than a house.” She grinned and craned her neck to look around the room as well, probably mostly to make a point on account of she herself having done most of the work so far. “Turned out well enough, though.”

Pinkie shrugged, peering up past the two support beams that were in place, past where the roof would be. With the sun gone, the stars were blinking into existence one by one. “It’s not like it’s gonna rain or snow. Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy would take care of that all whoosh—” she struck the air with a hoof. “—kapow! No more rain! Besides, it’s like a housewarming party. This is our place. I wanna use it!”

“I ain’t disagreeing with that,” Applejack said, slipping out from under Pinkie Pie to rest a forehoof against one of the three walls they’d raised. “All I’m saying is that the farmhouse and my room there, that’s our place too.” She grinned. “Judging by all the stuff of yours I keep finding everywhere, anyway. What the heck was that thing you stashed under my pillow yesterday?”

“Aw, I guess. We just couldn’t fit everypony in that tiny room! Not all of my family!”

Of course the farmhouse would be fine if they just invited Pinkie’s sisters and parents over, but that wasn’t at all what she had meant. All their friends, both their families, the Cakes and everypony else, all were family to her. Applejack didn’t protest, and Pinkie knew that was because she knew, too.

Pinkie Pie smiled at the whole mess all the guests had made. Empty platters, spilled punch and popped balloons, all were evidence of an evening well spent. A party in her gran’s memory. Family made everything easier, and now she knew how sharing something sad could make the burden so light you didn’t even notice it. Sharing sugar and happiness was easy and nice, but to let somepony else share in something that hurt, that had taken some work. Yet here they were, and all Pinkie Pie wanted to do was smile.

“What’re you thinkin’ bout now?” Applejack asked, setting about stacking the dirty plates atop one another.

“I wonder if Granny Pie is watching,” Pinkie said, hopping over to help out with the cleaning. “It was a great party, and we made so many ponies happy—and even when the party’s over, I got you!” She nuzzled Applejack and beamed. “That’s almost like a party, too, except this party isn’t over. I think Granny Pie would like that.”

Applejack smiled back and kissed her on the snout. “She sounds like the kind of pony to appreciate that. You wanna clean this all up tomorrow? I’m plum tuckered.”

“I would love to clean this up tomorrow!” Pinkie said, bouncing on the spot. “Hey, maybe we can fix the roof tomorrow? We should do that too. We should make a roof tomorrow, with hammers and planks and whatever else it is you make a roof with, okay?”

“Except we’re attendin’ the butterfly migration,” Applejack said. “We promised Fluttershy we’d go with her. Rainbow Dash might come with, too.”

“Aw. Well, we can’t miss that. What about the day after?”

“That’s first day of winter, Pinkie. We’ll probably have to pick this all up come spring unless we get Twilight to cast some fancy spell, and we ain’t in no rush.” Applejack chuckled and started walking towards the door. “Let’s head on over to the farm. I’m gonna tuck Apple Bloom in, and then we can head to yours if you don’t wanna sleep over.”

“Oh. Okay.”

Pinkie pouted, but it was a reflex of being denied more than anything—an expression that never touched her mood. As much as she liked the idea of finishing their own little house at the edge of Sweet Apple Acres right now, Applejack liked to take it slow, and that was just as fine. After all, Applejack didn’t complain much when Pinkie Pie had accidentally eaten one or two of the special cinnamon buns where she used sugar instead of flour and wanted to do something silly.

They could do their own things without losing themselves or each other, just like how gaining new family didn’t mean losing your old one, and that thought reminded Pinkie Pie of something she’d remembered and forgotten and then remembered again.

“Hey, do you wanna get married someday?” Pinkie asked. “I think getting married would be super sweet. Mr. and Mrs. Cake are married, you know. I asked them and they said that ponies who love each other lots and lots do that, and I do love you lots and lots!”

Applejack rolled her jaw tilting her head up as she thought, silent as they passed one, then two, then three apple trees. In the moonlight, her coat was dull and muted, but when she smiled back, her eyes sparkled in a way that made Pinkie’s heart beat twice as fast.

“Sure. That sounds like a good idea on account of me loving you, too.”

Pinkie trotted a little closer to Applejack so their flanks could touch as they walked, smiling as broad as she could. “Neat! When?”

Applejack chuckled. and leaned her head against Pinkie’s, walking in step with her. “Well I dunno, Pinkie. One of us’d have to propose. Ask all fancy-like. You’re supposed to go down on your knees and all that, and you’ll need an earring or a bracelet for each of us. Rarity’d have a fit otherwise, I reckon.”

“Oh. Maybe I’ll ask tomorrow then, if you’re free!”

"Tomorrow’s the butterfly migration,” Applejack said, rolling her eyes. “Heavens to betsy, sugarcube, I’m getting you a journal or somethin’ for Hearth’s Warming.”

“Shoot, right, hm. Well, the day after, then,” Pinkie said. She curled her tail around Applejack’s and nodded at herself.

“Might be I’ll say yes,” Applejack said. Close as they walked, Pinkie could feel more than see the spring in Applejack’s step.

“Great!” Pinkie said. “Wait, do I get down on my back knees, or is it with the forelegs?”

“I don’t reckon it matters. I’ll probably say yes either way,” Applejack said.

Author's Note:

Hi! This is the part that I always look forward to writing, because only in writing these words do I truly feel done with this story. This despite having the last chapter written three weeks ago.

It’s probably also the part most readers skip, and I don’t blame you. Well, I don’t blame them. You’re reading, aren’t you? Thanks for that! You’re not obligated to read the author’s notes, but fact is, it means alot to me if you’ll read at least the first half. The part that’s about saying thanks.

Writing isn’t a solo affair. Maybe it is for some, but in wanting a second set of eyes on what I write—and then a third and a fourth—this became quite the production. Adding more and more people for feedback and opinions, I have a lot of people to thank. More than ever before, in fact.

Corma and Kits have been involved since the story’s inception. I don’t know how many times you’ve read this story, how many iterations you’ve given feedback on, but I know this: Without your input, this story would’ve never seen the light of day. If it did and if I published it, it would’ve been shit. Taken for Granite has been through more edits-to-length than any other story I’ve ever written, mostly because you two marvels alerted me to serious issues. The story’s gone from shit to still shit to passable to what it is now—as for what that exactly is, what the story is now, that’s up to the reader to say. I just know I’ve spent so much time trying to fix holes that you found, it’s actually making it harder for me to thank you. It feels like I’m thanking you for pain. I’m not, though. I’m thanking you for saving this story. For the results.

Featherprop, Kai, Still Waters and Somepony, too, have aided greatly. I came to a point where I’d edited myself blind on this story, and it was massively useful to be able to bring in new people to give fresh perspective. The first barn scene would’ve been far less than it currently is without Featherprop’s help, and that’s just one of many ways in which you helped.

Last, I want to thank Present Perfect for being the final set of fresh eyes. An ace in the hole. Thank you ever so much for your input, for coming along like a bulldozer at the last second and alerting me to issues that needed to be fixed. In short, thank you for being an asshole and tripping me on the finish line before moving the goal further down the road. Thank you also for the title. I am terribly embarrassed that I didn’t think of it first. A title that both fits so well and induces groans? Win!

And that brings us over to the second part where I talk a little bit about the writing process and okay, goodness, when I say it like that, this sounds terribly pretentious and contrived. I’m going to do it anyway, if only because it’s pretty much tradition at this point. Sorry about that.

Taken for Granite was an absolute ass and a pain and a pain in the ass to write. I am absolutely sick of this story now. I’ve never before had to hammer a story this much to beat it into shape, and I never want to do it again. I’ve lost entire days to staring at the document, willing it to make more sense. I’ve spent weeks in a state of near-depression over my failure to make this story good. Only now, and I mean now, this literal instant of writing, do I feel like I can let go.

I don’t think—or hope, at least—that it’s a bad story. Thanks to all the fine folk above, it’s become a story that I can be proud of. Happy with, definitively. I hope to re-read this some time in the future and perhaps even enjoy it, but there is such a thing as working too hard on something. For me, this was it. I don't regret it, I don't think it colours the story, but I know I look forward to writing "easier" things.

It’s almost by chance that I ended up writing ApplePie. When I finished my last story and tried to find my next project, I had two very ambitious ideas, and a host of smaller ones. After I’d spent a few weeks battling with one of these big plots, I put it down and told myself that I’d ice that particular idea and instead see if I could make ApplePie work. Among perhaps a dozen half-planned shipfics, ApplePie stood out as the more interesting one, and the other megaproject was simply too big.

Like so many of my stories, it began with the idea of a single scene. An image in my mind that wouldn’t go away. One of Pinkie Pie knocking on Applejack’s door in the middle of the night, and a discussion that led to a similarity, a shared memory neither of them really wanted. I wasn’t entirely sure I wanted to write it, because to me, it strayed uncomfortably close to sadness. Long time readers will know I don’t write sad. I don't touch it.

So I had to twist it to be more than that, more than a sadfic. I think I lost some of the potency of that scene in diluting it in other challenges, certainly, but I didn’t want to write a novel-length story around a single scene. That, and trying to make it upbeat using Pinkie Pie, but almost entirely from Applejack’s PoV, that was a challenge in and of itself.

As another piece of trivia, I hadn’t planned on including the Pie family until I got there. It's fast becoming another tradition of mine, to derail my own story last minute, though usually for the better. I was getting dangerously close to the train scene when I realized how incredibly samey (for lack of a better word) the story would be if it ended with a confession there. Other authors be as they may, I myself have written too many stories that conclude in such a manner, and I need a break from those. Thankfully, Pinkie Pie was more than happy to invite Applejack over, and I think that without that decision, I wouldn’t be half of fond of this story as I am.

That’s enough of me rambling, though. Thank you, presumably-gentle reader, for taking the time to read this story, and thank you again for reading the author’s notes. I don’t know what story comes next, but Applejack and Pinkie Pie can live happily ever after in this book at least. I've written so much Pinkie Pie lately, she deserves a rest, and I think Applejack can provide that.

If you’d like to tell me that you think this is a load of crap, that my story is bad and that I should feel bad, you can always throw me a mail over at [e-mail] — and you can use the very same address if you’ve something nicer to say, too. I usually always reply to comments and mails!

Until next time,

-Cloudy Skies

Comments

[Cloudy Skies]

3101004 I think it's highly likely at least, but names in a non-canon series + confirmed sighting isn't definitive enough that I feel bad using their fanon names for the moment at least! If I'm wrong and they've been called by these names in storyboarded content though, I simply haven't heard of it yet.

3101066 Very glad you like! I don't want to get involved in some large bashing spree on how much of the fandom characterizes her, but I will say that I've always seen her as far more predictable and stable (when it counts) than most give her credit for.

3101544 I knew I ran the risk, and while I'm confident in my ability to write a mental journey (and accompanying angst/anxiety) for, say, Fluttershy, I really wanted to get away from anything that could be described as maudlin with AJ.

3107214 While I can't and won't comment too much on account of fearing spoiling stuff, I'm having a lot of fun reading peoples' analyses like this!

3107900 Much obliged!

3108835 What, why can't you see the fine print? It's right here on the inside of my glasses!

Oh wait.

(I totally get that.)

3110135 I think this is particularly interesting because I don't remember how overt I was with that in W&W/O: In my head, I tried to be subtle about that, at least until later in the story, and as such, I am very honoured you'd draw a parallel like that since the story's two years old. Flattered, even!

Won't comment too much on your comments on the story (good grief that's a convoluted sentence) but I'm looking forward to see what you think at the end!

3118666 If you mean in a scene, then I'm very glad to hear that! Being able to use multiple characters in a single scene is something I've had a lot of practice with since I tend to use the full mane6 and small groups quite often. It's not the first time someone points this out, but I'm really happy all the same!

If you mean using the mane6 in the story, however, then I'm of course glad to hear that too, but I'm not sure I'm quite as far advanced there as I'd like. In this story, I think I did a passable job, but I've had stories where I felt I could've done a far better job integrating the less-used castmembers, where the (better) alternative might be to cut them entirely, but I lacked the courage to do so.

Thanks either way though! I'm gonna keep working on it, you can bet your butt on that.

Also: 3119287 With the last batch of chapters up, you'll have your answer to that!

[Otterbee]

Your depiction of various ships always become definitive for me and ruin most lesser writers' efforts.

Jerk.

[Kail]

This was immensely fun to read. AJ and Pinkie are a pretty cute couple.

[Uncr3at1ve]

A truly wonderful story, you probably have my favorite characterization of Pinkie Pie I've seen.

[JBL]

Ah, so this *insert positive adjective here* story has come to an end. Four updates in one shot, I was like
I admit, my eyes kinda glazed over when reading the epilogue, but other than that, an excellent story. Any plans for future fics (Personally, I'd like to see one with Spike)?

[Olpert]

Man does the title fit. That is something you can't plan, and you haven't according to your notes. But... that title is quite simply perfect in so many ways, and this story would have to be written if only for the perfect title.
Which is not to say that that's the only thing I love about the story. I pretty much love everything about it, but I guess I may have subtly hinted toward that. The characterization, the so very believable conflict, its resolution, the family theme that draws throughout the entire fic, some very memorable moments and sentences, and the fact that the end is where we began, namely Pinkie's granny...
You say in your notes that you went from shit to something passable, and now it's for the reader to decide. Well, this reader says it's good that you had to toil so hard on this, because writing something so perfect without much effort would just be unfair

[PresentPerfect]

Hooray! :D All your hard work paid off!

[LionAgain]

Good grief, I don't even know where to begin. Well, I guess I'll just start with whatever first comes to mind.

I adore this. It has been an absolute pleasure to read every time a few new chapters have popped up over the last few weeks, so much so that when I saw a chapter with 'Epilogue' in the title pop up in my news feed with the last batch of chapters, I was kind of afraid to go read them, because I didn't want to think it'd be over.

But alas, all good things must come to an end, right?

I can certainly understand how you could be sick of this story, clearly an inhumane amount of work went into it, but I really hope you believe it when I say it's absolutely wonderful and great and it made me smile a bajillion times and its memory will probably make me smile at least a bajillion more before the day I eventually die.

I'm beginning to think Apple Pie might be my favorite ship.

[Cloud3180]

Its a very good story and its nice to see deeper characters and development as time progresses. but, i personally was looking forward to a break up or tradgedy to bring the story to a final greater climax of their relationship being tried and true rather than it just being a steady development to the predicted goal.
However im happier with you finishing this after all of your struggles than i would be with you dropping it due to the difficulty of making all of the conflict. Thanks again for the delicious applepie

[Hobbestc]

I totally loved this story. It's too bad you're so burnt out on it though. As a reader i'm quite happy you didn't decide to just ship and not complete it or anything. Also, by dropping the chapters so fast you kept me from losing focus at anytime. Some writers take months to update. That occasionally leads to completely forgetting what the last chapter was about and having to reread it. Ok, maybe that's only when ones story follow folder is as large and out of control as mine is. Anyway, loved it. Thanx for writing it.

[Biker_Dash]

On a scale of 1-10...
100!

I do have to say that I have seen only a few ApplePie ships, and this one was VERY well done. I feel blessed to have found this one, and the only sad thing is that it is finished, and I shall see no more updates for it.

Thank you, good Sir, for an excellent story.

[Titanium Dragon]

I liked this story. I liked Pinkie Pie's little spiel to Applejack about Applejack not just asking her out, and about her hurting her, and not really thinking about it.

The story was a very nice one, and I can see why you had so much trouble hammering it out. Honestly, it isn't a "convince me of the ship" story, but it was a cute tale and was woven quite nicely. Well done; this will stay on my favorites list even though it is complete.

[Misago]

Well, that was the most casual romantic gesture since TaB (yes, maybe I will propose to TaB, quiet!), and a fitting ending for another excellent story from you. The last batch of chapters was quite heartwarming, if you forgive my language, and it was nice that Applejack was stubborn and (in her mind, probably) practical about her developing relationship with Pinkie, yet not so stubborn that she refused to change her mind when outsiders, as in the Pie family, set her straight. And the epilogue was just one ApplePie-offspring short of being the peak of happy ending.
Thank you again for your hard work, though I am saddened to hear that you had such a hard time writing it. You authors spend a lot of your time to provide something fun to read for others, so you should definitely get some measure of enjoyment out of it.

And by the way, I think that if Pinkie planted plastic fruits, something would grow. Maybe a plastic tree. Maybe a hat. I'll leave specifics to the experts.

[Raven Flight]

Oopsies! I forgot to thumbs up this story. Cloudy, I think this is the first of your work I've read, and I'm gonna have to get after the rest of your stories. THIS WAS GREAT!!! Sorry it was a beast, but I loved all of it.
BTW, Blinkie was my favorite character in this. Very well done with her.

[Willsons]

Thank you for taking me on such a fabulous jorney with your words.

[Xerzes]

Job well done.

[Duck_Armada]

I enjoyed this very much. Good Job.

[SHL]

Beautiful ending ^^ Perfect Job, Cloudy ^^

[Shader]

3122983

"Haha! I suckered those silly humans! Trading that ton of worthless diamond for a ton of quartz! I'M RICH!!!"

"Haha! I suckered those silly ponies! Trading that ton of worthless quartz for a ton of diamond! I'M RICH!!!"

[PoweredByTea]

Taken for Granite was an absolute ass and a pain and a pain in the ass to write. I am absolutely sick of this story now. I’ve never before had to hammer a story this much to beat it into shape, and I never want to do it again. I’ve lost entire days to staring at the document, willing it to make more sense. I’ve spent weeks in a state of near-depression over my failure to make this story good. Only now, and I mean now, this literal instant of writing, do I feel like I can let go.

Man, do I know that feeling...

In any case, I'd say that including Pinkie's family was a huge win. It was my favourite part after the barn scene. They were interesting and really came out feeling "right" somehow. I'm not sure I can really point out to what it was, mostly a lot of subtle things. Stuff like the way they wouldn't let Applejack do any of the work and Pinkie eating healthy, wholesome (if bland) food. I don't know, it just felt very real and right.

But in any case, it's published now. Your free!

[NeutronStar]

3117098
It was confimred on one of the MLP conventions this year. I already forgot which one exactly. XD
Maybe on BronyCon 2013. Not sure. But it really was confirmed, that I remember.

[Adenbadens]

“There are hundreds of different types of gems, but ponies always forget how great rocks are, too. ...Most ponies never really realize. They just see a rock and think that’s that. That’s really stupid of them.”

This story was a rock. A fantastically beautiful rock that I'm glad I didn't overlook. ApplePie is probably one of the harder ships to write, (or at least it seems that way by how little ApplePie there is) because you have to find common ground with two distinctly different characters, with different goals and outlooks on life, who somehow find it in themselves to love each other. I like how you portrayed the Pie family, and I'm really happy you included them in the story, since you said you didn't mean to at first. You've said this fic was a lot of work, but in doing that you turned what would be an average-grade story into something truly worth being proud of, and fits in with the caliber of your other stories. It's definitely one I'll be coming back to.

Can't wait to see what you have next!

[OmegaJasam]

This is definitely one of the best storys I've read. I guess all that hammering away at it resulted in something really well made rather then something forced after all ;)

[Donnys Boy]

Perfect ApplePie proposal was perfect.

For what it's worth, I always read your author's notes! And I so hear you on reaching the point of being sick to death of a story. Also, I think the decision to take Applejack to the Pie farm and to include the Pie family was a very good one--I'm not sure the story would've worked half so well if that hadn't been included.

She just did that little roll of the eyes and the sigh that she did whenever Pinkie was right but Applejack didn’t want to admit it—which was fine so long as it ended with a peck on her cheek. And it did.

That seems just about as good a summation of their relationship as one could hope to have.

[JAG]

And another one ends. It's always a little sad to see that happen, but the ending was big-stupid-grin-inducing, as usual, so it evens out.

Anyway, I'd say you absolutely made the right call in including the Pie family chapters. Ending with a confession on the train would've felt very inadequate. Doing things this way, letting the Pies guide Applejack toward realizing how wrong she'd been, was much more satisfying. Getting to meet your take on Blinkie was a nice bonus, too.

[ShootingStar81]

A wonderful story, to be sure! Regardless of anyone's opinion's on shipping or the like, you wove quite the trip here, and it was quite fun to read through it as you posted the chapters. A mighty thanks to you and all of your help for giving us such an entertaining read, and something to lift the spirits, too!

[friedchicken96]

Great afterward! And yes I did read your authors note till the end. I completely understand not liking your own work. I myself have wanted to write fanfiction before, and then freaked out because I thought it was awful, and never did anything with it in the end. I have no idea if I will ever write some of my own, I have ideas but I'm not sure I have the time or courage yet. For as hard as you worked on this story, I think you'll be pleased that I think it turned out wonderfully. As you said in your note, I agree that it was a good idea to have Pinkie invite Applejack to the farm. The confession and conversation there was very well written and good for the story itself. Considering I prefer to ship Pinkie with Twilight, I really think you did well with this story. I'm pretty open to mane 6 shipping anyway.

[emrlddrgn]

Well, it'll never be my favorite Cloudy Skies story, but Cloudy Skies will still be (one of) my favorite author(s).

I liked the thing with the rocks.

[monkhm]

The ending was a bit strong for me, but like usual I enjoyed it. By strong ending I mean having them share a movie style *I love you* kiss in the middle of the first date. Great intro and body though. Looking forward to what comes next. Keep up the great work :)

[Silver Scrolls]

sadpanda.us/images/1227354-7SI4TOT.gif

I LOVED THIS STORY. I like never find good pinkie ships, her character is just so hard to ship with anypony. You did an outstanding job, in my opinion anyway.

[AjandRd]

One of new fav stories and fav ship There are not enough for me to congratulate you on writing such a masterpiece, it was superb, Pinkies unique character captured perfectly! Applejack was also perfectly displayed as herself and you didn't need to go over the top with her accent, you were able to masterfully portray her character without it and that is something writers seem to struggle with. The Pie's were outstanding, especially Clyde and Blinkie! Most of the items and destinations were key to the story, and I loved how it all came together near the end. OMG I could go on and on about how this story is amazing and unique but, thank you, clearly a lot of dedication went into this story and I shall be sure to keep up to date with your other stories. You're a genius man, a damn genius! /)

[Soldierpony]

Created an account just so I could say this is an amazing story, not one of those where everything was pushed together but actual development. I absolutely loved it how there were not one, not two, but three teasers on the actual confirmation of the ship, glorious. Definately kept me reading, stayed up late to finish because I couldn't look away.

[kits]

I want to come up with some comment, but I can't really think of anything others haven't said. So I'll comment on author's notes instead. You spoke of editing yourself blind on this. I know exactly how you feel. Heck, I know I've read this through at least twice (the whole thing, no clue how many times I looked at parts) and yeah, you get blind so easy to the words. I still feel that way about some of my stuff; I don't ever want to have to read it again. I hope you're able to be happy with this, even if it takes a few weeks or months. I know that's the way it is with me.

[journcy]

Truly grand, Mr. Skies. I jumped for joy with every new update, and with good reason. You've brought us something special here, something we really shouldn't...

...take for granite.
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
But, silliness aside, it's been truly wonderful reading along with this wonderful fic. A glorious character study, a curious insight, and a wonderful piece of fluff in hindsight.
Thank you!

[Idylia]

The proofreader in me is in love with you, Cloudy Skies. I try to put my blood into analyzing a fic and helping someone decide if they want to change it and how, and fairly often that blood sees a quick-once over revision with half the edits for simple grammar.

Struggle & toil is a good thing. Your dedication shows, and the proofreaders who worked with you are probably going to be very likely to come back if the process seemed organic and beneficial.

I really liked this story. I think it's incredibly solid, as fitting as that is considering the title. A shining example of slice of life shipping. You didn't need to rely on heavy melodrama or insane plot twists to tell a compelling story, just things that are close to home. I respect and admire that immensely.

What's better, all of the quips that I made note of throughout the story are beautifully subjective (though one could argue they always are). They're not even really worth burdening you with.

I really hope that you are, or can be, proud of what you've done. I often find myself to be a very sympathetic reader when a story resonates with me; I want the author to love the story as deeply as I do, even though such a thing is probably impossible. In any case, I hope reading these words validates this story for you somehow. As shallow as that sounds, I think there isn't a single person in the world that doesn't like to hear that they should be proud of what they've accomplished.

And you should. Bravo.

[Convisku]

When I first realised it was a wake, I thought Granny Smith had passed on. I'm glad I'd just forgotten how many weeks there were in a year.

[Cloudy Skies]

3120480 3120537 On the first, you're very kind, thanks! On the second, the first I wish to say is of course that as kind as you are to say so, I hope you don't truly feel that way, because I myself have struggled with that exactly. Pardon if I'm waxing philosophical here, but it's one thing to be told and recognize the logic of "one work does not diminish the worth of another" or however you wish to phrase it, it's another to truly realize it. I don't believe myself good enough to threaten anyone else anyway, but it's a bothersome thought, at times!

3120623 Very glad you think so, thank you kindly!

3120792 It's a little funny, because in planning, the reveal was made out to be some sort of huge bombshell, but as you say, it doesn't really matter, so it became more important exactly for how tiny the splash of that revelation is.

On soap bubbles and balloons, I took so much delight in people discussing it here in comments before it was brought up again, you have no idea! I feared that the time-gap between the first mention and the explanation was too vast, but I think it worked well enough.

3120725 Aw, thanks! I guess it's hit and miss, but I've written a lot of Pinkie by now, jeez. I'm gonna try to tally the rough percentages of what I've written so far, but I suspect Pinkie wins by a landslide.

3120667 Unless you already had your answer: Yes, that was the intent!

3120829 It's always the quiet ones that sit on the sage wisdom. I'd love to write more Big Mac someday, too!

3120918 Glad if you liked it! I usually do large final updates simply because it feels like a silly thing to do, withholding only the final chapter and the epilogue when it's plain to see which way the wind blows.

Next? Oh goodness, I have more plans than I know what to do with. I'll probably make a blogpost on it one of the coming days. Spike is one of those characters I criminally under-use not out of dislike, but because I struggle with how to use him properly. I made a serious effort in TfG and it probably doesn't even show. I could base an entire fic around him, but I don't have any plans at the moment, and there are authors who do such a great job with him, it almost feels redundant. I assume you've read all of The Descendant's fics?

3120943 I really should've bundled the replies I made for your comments here, whoops.

>>But... that title is quite simply perfect in so many ways, and this story would have to be written if only for the perfect title.

It's funny, because it looks like a story that could've been written to fit a punny title, but instead, it was all just a stroke of the coincidencest coincidence ever. The title works in so many ways, I just had to get up and walk in tiny little circles when Present Perfect suggested it. I am still baffled. Don't know how I missed it.

I'm very, very happy to hear of it if you liked the end result, though. Thank you for your kindnesses, and for taking the time to read and comment! I would say something about being glad to write, about all the comments being just a bonus, that I write for myself in the first instance anyway, but this is one of those times where I almost feel like muttering "welcome" from under my blanket while I take a three-month nap, gah. Sorry.

[Cloudy Skies]

3121126 It's a bit of a coincidence I guess! I never liked dates except where I can point out that they're just a going-through-the-motions thing that's ultimately unneeded, a choke point for romance that very few care about. Celestia cared about it because she wanted to observe customs--as you point out--but beyond that, I like having ponies tear dates down.

3121130 Came to an end, anyway. Almost the same. Thank you again though!

3121693 It means a lot to hear this, it really does, but sometimes I worry, I wonder if I did the right thing in being so candid in the Author's Notes. While there are exceptions, people will be coloured by such things, just like they are coloured by others' opinions. If I rigged my next fic, got 20 people to help me downvote it to 0-20 the second it released and to post some comments on why this is my worst story yet, I imagine that the reception would be far worse than if I did the opposite.

I of course can (or intend) to do neither, but I have to wonder if me hyping or criticizing my own stories has an impact. I worry that saying that I worked hard on this story makes people more eager to agree and say they thought it was good.

Sorry. Idle thoughts. Really, really happy to hear it if you liked this in the end! I hope to have the time to read your ApplePie someday!

3121798 3122108 3122983 I just really delight in taking every opportunity I can to mess with these little things. I know some like to try to map out stuff and play by rules--or make rules--but I rather prefer playing to the fairy-tale and nonsense end of the spectrum. Besides, how often has quartz actually been mentioned in the show?

3122037 Thanks for reading and commenting!

>>i personally was looking forward to a break up or tradgedy

I think you're looking at the wrong author for this, sorry!

Naw, I'm just jesting, I know what you meant--I assume you mean you hoped for lower lows, simply put, without necessarily desiring a sad ending, and that's completely fair! Some stories, I do that, but I didn't want to artificially try to make this a sadder story than it looked to be. I never intended to have a relationship start and fail, and doing so would make it far longer than it had a right to be. I do plan to write such long stories, don't get me wrong, but it just wasn't for this story.

Besides, I'm a wuss.

3122070 Happy you enjoyed it, thanks! The rapid update pace is something I'll swear by any day, and I've had little but positive response on that. Then again, people here on FiMF are probably so used to stories that end up stranded and incomplete that so long as you show any consistency, you're a saint.

3122095 That's a scale violation, you can't do that! Rescind your statement at once!

Thanks so much for the read and the comment!

[Cloudy Skies]

3122107 That discussion, and pretty much every conversation between AJ and Pinkie, those were my favourite bits to write, I think.

I'm very curious as to what you mean by this--

>>it isn't a "convince me of the ship" story

I ask out of simple curiosity here, because some stories have that quality for me, too--while others don't. I never figured out what it is (or isn't). Have you?

3122223 Why, are you insinuating that you enjoyed TaB? Hm, curious!

Seriously though, I'm really glad to hear if you enjoyed this story as well. I had an intense amount of fun writing the very end last minute because it struck me as something profoundly Applejack to make a non-issue out of it, and extremely Pinkie to trivialize it in her own way.

>>the epilogue was just one ApplePie-offspring short of being the peak of happy ending.

Trivia: 49 weeks is apparently a normal duration for a horse pregnancy. Interpret the chapter title however you wish!

Naw. I just thought that was funny. If you'll forgive me thinking out loud, it feels like I'm building up to some sort of foal thinger, what with having written an actual wedding in WTAJ and all. Writing a fluffy pony wedding was as silly to me a year ago as writing horse romance was three years ago, you know? I seriously doubt we'll see any sort of magical offspring though.

Knock on wood, and thanks again!

>>And by the way, I think that if Pinkie planted plastic fruits, something would grow. Maybe a plastic tree. Maybe a hat. I'll leave specifics to the experts.

Sounds like a fic in and of itself, that!

3122280 Thank you so much, and I'm glad you liked it! If you decide to read any of my others, and if you like reading OC's/BG ponies, Within and Without and Ode to Friendship, respectively, are the only stories where they have a role worth speaking of, but if you're looking for more stories like this one, No Recipe for Perfection and Twice as Bright might be more your speed!

3122327 Thank you for reading and leaving a comment! I'm glad!

3122334 Thank you much!

[Cloudy Skies]

3122419 You may autocomplete it however you wish, of course, but I rarely if ever stray into that sort of territory any more. I like my things fluffy!

More seriously, I did wonder if the kiss felt a little too "hot" compared to the tone of the rest of the fic, but in re-reading it I didn't think it a problem. Do you disagree? Would love opinions on this!

3122545 Thank you very much! Super glad to hear it!

3122874 Aw, thanks a bunch, and thanks for reading!

3123056 I guess it's not really a unique stance, not an uncommon problem in writing (or any creative endeavour) but I thought myself resistant to it. Apparently not!

Really glad Pinkie's family seemed to work, though! I have no doubt the story is better off with them, but it's great to see what people think, and twice as awesome if people agree. I kind of wish I'd included them earlier as well, somehow, just to give them more characterization, but there was really no way to do that that I could see.

3123221 I don't think the scarcity of ApplePie is just based on it being "hard" (there are other hard ships--not all ships can be AppleDash y'know?) but it certainly wasn't half as easy as I had imagined, either. Darn.

Your words do me a lot of honour though, so thank you for those, for reading, and for taking the time to tell me what you think!

3123223 You're kind to say so, and I'm glad to hear it! Thanks for reading!

3123546 On gems, the intent was that Spike didn't have a gem, but I was kinda hoping nobody'd notice or poke at that because it feels like such a dick move now that it's highlighted, gah. Five gems in the barn, with one missing, and they were intended for the mane6. Then again, we never hear it outright, and all I control is intent!

That all said, I'm really happy if you liked the Pies, because that must mean I actually managed to imbue them with some character. I worried a little that due to how few scenes there were, they'd suffer, but it may be that I don't have enough faith in readers' abilities to pick up on stuff. Again I come back to how some people can convey so much with so few words. (I.e. you).

>>Pink pony speaks truth. I have gotten that chill down my spine many a time.

Haha, I was kinda banking on everyone going "Yep" at that one.

>>Also, I forgot to mention this in previous chapters, but I like that Pinkie considers Applejack "the clever one." Twilight's super smart, of course,(...)

This is pretty much what I was banking for, except you explain it better than I ever could. It's one of those little details that mean more to me in the end than most of the story's "big" points.

>>For what it's worth, I always read your author's notes! And I so hear you on reaching the point of being sick to death of a story. Also, I think the decision to take Applejack to the Pie farm and to include the Pie family was a very good one--I'm not sure the story would've worked half so well if that hadn't been included.

I am flattered by the interest--and really sad if you ever feel anything of the same, because ideally, we'd all want everyone to love their own stories, right? People keep talking about children, and while I've never had spawn of my own, people say that you always love them when it comes down to it, but sometimes you just want to toss them out the window. It's like that, except without the "always love them" part, hrmf.

Thank you again for reading, and for leaving me your thoughts! I swear, "Donny's Boy has commented on your story--" in my alerts is pretty much an instant smile from me!

[Cloudy Skies]

3125243 Yeah, I think it's pretty much a clear-cut improvement to extend the fic with the Pie family, but I'm glad if you agree! My one concern is that the story might have some stretch marks as I was worrying about running out of topics for Applejack's brain even before the winter date thing (though the winter picnic put a reset on that). Sorry, that probably only makes sense in my head. Point is: Thank you so much for reading!

3125563 Really happy if it was to your taste, thank you much!

3125921 3126045 The whole mess with the title is a story in itself, hah. Glad you liked, and thanks for taking the time to give me your thoughts! If you decide to read any of my other stories, there should be quite a bit to choose from, but if you want my opinion, No Recipe for Perfection may be the closest if what you're looking for is more Pinkie-d'aw.

On the whole liking/disliking your own work thing, I don't think you've had to have written fanfiction to understand it--we all have made something, and if you've ever disliked what you yourself have made, then it's really the same impulse. This one is just magnified by the sheer amount of hours I've jammed into this. That all said, I wouldn't trade it for the world, and I strongly feel everyone should try writing (and drawing!) for that matter simply for how useful it is to exercise your creative muscles.

>>Considering I prefer to ship Pinkie with Twilight, I really think you did well with this story. I'm pretty open to mane 6 shipping anyway.

Wait, you have an OTP and you're not rabidly attacking everything that conflicts with it? My goodness, clearly something is wrong here! (Joking, joking. But hey, if you like TwiPie, you should check out Donny's Boy's stuff unless you already have!)

3126621 Brevity in comments, brevity to the point of confusion. Thank you, I believe, though!

3126913 I can completely sympathize with that, actually. I replied to another comment on this, and would love your input too--is it simply that the kiss was too hot, or was it its existence at all? Initially, there was no kiss, but I was persuaded in feedback to put it in.

I actually prefer having a kiss there because it doesn't feel like it's going through the motions to me, since they've been discussing a relationship for so long. I have no problems with being a little cliché if I feel it's sweet enough to be worth it, but as is, I suspect I simply overdid it, made it too passionate instead of sweet.

Or am I missing your point entirely?

3127353 Thank you very much, I'm very glad to hear it! I don't want to come off as self-advertising here, but Pinkie Pie is probably my most-shipped character, and I have quite a few Pinkie Pie ships in my favourites that I'll heartily recommend, too!

3128029 Oh goodness, that's a lot of nice words. Thank you very much for the kindnesses, and again for taking the time to read! I'm reading a surprising amount of approval for Clyde and Blinkie especially, hah. I'm very glad!

[Cloudy Skies]

3128184 Aw jeez, thanks so much for the trouble, that's a huge feather in my cap! Really happy you liked it!

3128319 I'm near certain it will come with time. I've already placed it in my mental library, in the Cloudy's Own Internal Super-Secret Ranking-Of-Own-Fics thinger, and it's not unfavourable. The fact that I don't toss this below that-other-story-you-know-I-dislike-a-bit means I am slowly gaining the ability to be rational, I suppose. I know it's not bad, I just can't separate it from the toil of writing it. Yet.

3131972 Aw, puns, too? Truly this is a glorious day. Really happy that you seemed to enjoy this, and thanks for the comment, too! Fluffiness is my goal, sir/madam!

3132070 Well, dang. See, there are multiple reasons why your words mean a lot to me, the first and foremost being that you're a proofreader. That already means we're very different people, at least along one axis of measurement--if that sentence even makes sense. To me, proofreading and all that, the technical aspects of writing where they are not concerned with twisting words to be clever rather than correct, that's the worst part of writing. Editing is death to me. That makes your words stand out even more. Makes me feel... I hate to say this, but a little proud?

Pride is death, I understand. The second you say something--anything--nice about your own work, you've lost. You're no longer humble, and you're a huge unstoppable egomonster deserving only of internet hate. Okay, I get that.

>>Struggle & toil is a good thing. Your dedication shows,

But I'm still gonna be extremely glad to hear this, and say thank you from the bottom of my heart.

So, thank you.

I don't actually work with proofreaders because I don't feel comfortable asking people to do my dirty work. Even though I don't like it, and sure, I am grateful for all the help I get when people point out errors they come across, I still try to be clear with pre-readers in saying that all I ask is an opinion on the story.

Whew. That all out of the way, I'm really happy to hear of it if you enjoyed the story itself, too! I think "slice of life shipping" is a good description, but on EqD, the tags are contradictory, so I don't over-tag my stories. I think I strayed dangerously close to melodrama and maudlin sometimes, but the goal was certainly to avoid that. I would love to see whatever quibbles or issues you noted, but that's of course up to you on whether or not you feel like sharing!

>>I really hope that you are, or can be, proud of what you've done. I often find myself to be a very sympathetic reader when a story resonates with me; I want the author to love the story as deeply as I do, even though (...)

That's a rather beautiful sentiment, I feel, and I'm not sure whether to thank you for it, or whatever else I'm supposed to say. Either way, I hope so too, and I fully believe I will come to be able to consider this story more rationally in time.

Thank you again for your comment!

[Cloudy Skies]

3132742 Oh wow, that's scary, to me, especially since I got the two grannies' names wrong multiple times in writing. I think I edited and fixed it all before release, but I dread to think someone out there got the wrong impression or read a story that's considerably sadder than my intent!

3132996 Replying to all posts here rather than tagging them all!

Well, to make what comments I can. I don't want to spoil (presuming you're reading on) and can't comment too much on your thoughts where they are merely that, but I did want to address your main concern. Rather, try to do so without spoiling, treating the "lack of ship" as a question rather than just a comment.

I always favoured slow ships, myself. If you feel Slice of Life/Shipping is a better tag set for that, or if you have different expectations of a story lacking that first tag, then there's a simple explanation for that. I've always submitted my stories to EqD first. I moved to FiMF very late (just over a year and a half ago) and their tag system has SoL as mutually exclusive with Shipping. This story is decidedly a romantic story, it's not a story just about day-to-day life.

If the story's too slow for you, then I'm of course sorry to hear that. I've favoured slow buildups as of late, and particularly when the story is single PoV up until a point, it can be frustrating if you're after a quick fix of romance. It's not for everypony, and if it's not to your tastes, that's of course an entirely valid stance.

Also just wanted to poke at this--

>>I'm not sure I understand this yearly visit to talk about Granny Pie, but I've seen families with stranger traditions.

The intent was more that they gathered to be together around that time of year, and Pinkie's description of all this talking was just how she saw it--that it felt pointless to sit around and be sad and talk when there were better options.

Anyway, would love to hear your thoughts if you decide to read on, but I don't personally consider the slowness a problem with stories. I understand the desire of a Slice of Life tag by way of explaining to the reader that they'd better enjoy SoL if they're gonna read this (because you'll read the first 10-15k without getting much romance), I really do, but the tags are entirely contradictory to me.

Makes me envy the fandoms that have more comprehensive tagging systems, really.

[JBL]

3133159 Oh, believe me, I certainly don't mind, it always makes me smile when I see multiple updates from a story. I've read some of his stories, but the more the merrier! I'm more interested in how he interacts with others and how his relationships with his friends evolve; more Slice of Life than any Adventure story. I also like reading Big Macintosh; I suppose it's because both characters are so malleable, it's always interesting to see how writers portray them.

[Titanium Dragon]

3133223
I know what it is, I think, and it has to do with looking at something deep within both characters that shows -why- they are together. Twilight's List did a very good job of this, I think, because it showed WHY Rainbow Dash would be interested in Twilight, and vice versa, on a very fundamental level. "The me of magic" is just such a resonant line as far as that pairing goes, though it isn't JUST that; the same goes for Twilight, as we saw things which were admirable in Rainbow Dash and saw the two of them "click". I think that's really what made that story what it was, and what "convinced" me - I could really see it.

I think this is pretty hard to do with a lot of the ships, especially if the characters themselves might have trouble articulating it.

It is very much possible for characters to come together in a story without this aspect, I think, which is why it is possible for a shipfic to be good without being "convincing".

[HoofBitingActionOverload]

I really hate it when I don't enjoy a story, especially one by an author I respect and who clearly put a lot of work and effort into creating said story. I had a hard time reading this. I was constantly losing interest, looking away from the screen and then doing other things instead. About halfway through I decided to keep reading just so I could get to the end and be done with it. Huge swaths of this story simply aren't interesting, entertaining, enjoyable, or satisfying to read. A prime example is the introduction. You opened this story with a conversation about the weather. There must be at least a good 500 words there of characters doing nothing but talking about the weather. Just... really? Any other author and I would have yawned and moved on to something else. Really, nothing genuinely interesting happened until the scene where Pinkie Pie came to Applejack's bedroom at night.

After that, there were some interesting bits, enough to keep me from giving up on the story entirely, but not enough to make it enjoyable. I didn't find this plot to be at all compelling, especially in comparison to other stories you've written. I'm honestly not sure why that is. I would like to say that it's because of how doggedly slice of life this story is. It's both slow to start and slow to finish. And just slow all around. There's no tension. The stakes are never high. But a lot of your fics are very slice of life oriented, and I still found them consistently interesting. I'm not sure what's different about this one. For some reason, I found Pinkie Pie and Celestia going to the carnival to be much more interesting than Pinkie Pie and Applejack going sledding. The events here are simply dull.

I also found it to be entirely unconvincing. I was never really sure why Applejack became infatuated with Pinkie Pie. She saw that they were sort of kind of similar in some small way and then BAM, she's in love just like that? I'm even less sure about Pinkie Pie's reasons falling for Applejack. I just never got a good sense for why they wanted to be together, and I never really wanted them to be together as a result (and like with Pinkie Pie and Celestia, I have to be convinced of the pairing before I'm able to get excited about them getting together, and you never convinced me about Applejack and Pinkie like you did Pinkie and Celestia/Rarity/Rainbow Dash). Admittedly, I was so disinterested in the story, maybe I missed something obvious. You also went to great lengths to paint these two utterly dissimilar characters characters as similar. I think it worked in some places and not others. The baking scene was good, the earlier bedroom scene was good. But the whole farming bit felt forced. Pinkie Pie made it very clear in the show that she didn't enjoy living on the rock farm, and that she was unhappy there, as well as that she is a much more friend-oriented person as opposed to family-oriented person. I found your attempts to prove otherwise to feel fabricated and artificial.

I'm sorry, I want to like this, because there's so much good in this story. Enough can't be said about how well you write your characters, and how well you add little sparks of life to your scenes (the bit about Pinkie Pie being everywhere a Pinkie Pie could fit comes to mind). But I just couldn't force myself to be interested in the overarching plot.

[Biker_Dash]

3133202 Cannot rescind the scale comment. Pinkie won't allow it!

[Cloudy Skies]

3133777 It's probably-and-obviously-I-suppose individual but I appreciate the insight. The reason I can't say "I agree, that's it" right away is that it feels too simple an explanation given that it suggests a story that doesn't sell the ship fails to address that why. I don't think a non-terrible shipfic has been written that doesn't answer the why of it, so perhaps the difference is one of emphasis on that. I don't know, but I appreciate your thoughts!

3135013 I really wish I knew what to say to this except that I'm sorry the story didn't resonate with you. I'm twice as sorry that you felt the need to push on, because I know how it can feel to read something out of obligation, and I'd never wish upon my worst enemy to read something of mine they don't want to.

I could try to defend my choices (opening with comments on weather is a bit tongue in cheek and serves a very solid purpose, for example), but I don't really see the point in trying to address your issues one by one. I wish there was some cohesive criticism here I could respond to in some meaningful way, but there's little for me to grab on to.

I probably sound rude and outright dismissive if I suggest that there's perhaps just a mismatch between the story's pacing (something I'm rather unapologetic about) and your preferences, making it very hard for me to say much at all.

I wish I could offer you a refund, but alas. Thanks for giving me your thoughts, though.

[HoofBitingActionOverload]

3135277
I apologize. I wish I could offer some more focused criticism, or anything that wasn't just rambling and nitpicking, but I'm already far out of my depth.

I couldn't enjoy fully enjoy this story because much of the time I didn't care about what the characters were doing. That's a little because of the slow pace. That's a little because you never convinced me of the ship. That's a lot because many of the scenes and characters' actions didn't feel like they mattered or were important. .

I was interested during the scene where Pinkie Pie came to Applejack for help, and the subsequent party, because it felt like it mattered. That was something that was clearly very important to the characters, and that developed the characters and the plot. I wasn't as interested during the discussions about the weather or the sledding trip because they didn't feel as important, or like they mattered as much, like maybe they could have been replaced or cut down and the story would have remained the same. Or that they were something that could happen on any other day or in any other story. They weren't entirely unenjoyable, but they were a bit of slog to get through because I wanted to move past them onto the scenes that really mattered.

I realize that doesn't make much sense, because every scene had a clear purpose in the narrative, and every one pushed the plot forward. There really isn't much in the way superfluous words here. I didn't enjoy this story, and I don't entirely understand why. It's clearly good, and it seems like I should enjoy it. Maybe it just felt too average, or too day-to-day. But many of your other fics are just as slice of life focused as this one is, and I still enjoyed them. So I really don't know. Maybe those slice of life bits in those other fics felt more important than these ones did.

[Cloudy Skies]

3135688 Apologies are unnecessary, I think. Or rather, if one is to be offered, it's one from me to you if I sounded crass or rude, It's easy to dismiss it as preference. The things you describe aren't pointless or obviously interchangeable to me, but I've always had a huge fondness for Slice of Life. I can read (or more likely: write) 20k words about Pinkie and Fluttershy having cocoa together in which nothing happens and consider it time well spent. The counter to that is as you've said twice now--that you haven't felt this with other stories you've read by me.

I just feel very helpless when confronted by something like this, and that's not a good feeling. That there's little I can do to react to arguably-subjective (or at least vague) issues, that I could live with. That I'm responsible for having wasted someone's time, however? That I've bored or made someone do something they ultimately felt wasn't worth it? That's different. That's a bitter pill to swallow.