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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Take down the chapter and release it Dec. 25. Best Present for everyone!
5422136
There is a reason, and the details of the orb will be expanded upon in a later chapter. Bear with me.
Few words come to mind beyond what I feel flutters does best. yay...
You pulled off a pretty good chappy here, I'm loving this character interaction, but I'm wondering when anyone will start to suspect something of her being OOC for the moment. I also don't blame you for taking a while to get this out, I have a problem doing practically anything in a reasonable amount of time.
I loved this chapter it was a awesome beyond awesome read.it was funny and sweet. I can't wait to see what happens between them all and to them all next .this story just keeps getting better and better. I'm so happy it finely back.
5422388
Well my main problem is I basically went from an employee position to a management position. Pay is better, and I'm grateful, it's just a time consumer. I have days where I wake up at 9am, have two hours to get ready, then leave to make sure I'm on time at noon, and be stuck there till closing at 10pm. The sad fact is that once home, I'm not in the mood to write.
I'm just glad my vacation was able to grant me enough time to do this. It still may grant me time for one more. We'll see, but god I hope so.
5425590 I completely understand your position and I don't blame you for not being in the mood to write after working, so don't sweat it ^^ (Although, another would be nice... Heheh... )
This didn't make much sense:
I'm guessing a chunk of the story is missing between these two lines?
Yeah, that and the part where Luminare explains what he did to the paparazzi seem to refer to things that didn't happen.
5426046
Editor for the story here, It seems that part got removed somehow when it was transferred from gdocs to this. The gdoc reads:
5426220
What about the part where he explains what happened to the paparazzi? I can't find the issue. Any chance you can point it out so I can fix it?
5426046
It's been fixed. Thank you for pointing it out. Really weird it just got cut during the transfer.
5426468
It never explains what he did with the paparazzi after going into his cutie mark, though I guess it might be meant to be read between the lines that he charmed them into leaving, somehow.
5426596
"He sent them on a wild moose chase" Or basically wild goose chase. Yes he basically used his charm talent to get them to go somewhere else while he made his escape. Basically he said: "Oh Princess Skyla? I do believe she is on her way back to the palace" AKA he lied and the paparazzi all went to try and find her, when really she's outside a particular exit and then they go eat.
It seems like there's a missing line of dialogue here.
5427350
Fixed.
*Sigh* I'm going to have to look this over soon and see if the gdocs transfer cut anything else out.
Well, duh, she's Cadance and has the same figure as Best Pony. Though some may know her as Princess Luna.
We can all that thought about food a guy thing. Still have some cards left.
Space
And yes you are very pretty.
I thought they were good friends, so that nickname works anyway.
We can guess there is some kind of spell at play but it was never stated earlier in the section.
Capitalize
That already happened anyways.
Couldn't notice a horn and wings I take it?
And the referred to spell is now magically gon... fucking magic.
Now blow his mind with what electricity can do and get that stallion a PC.
Shouting answers? What is this, a classroom? Stupid ass reports won't stay in their damn seats!
Nice to see this back up and I wonder what Cadance has been doing so the ponies are not tripping over themselves like they do with Celestia.
5430810
Huh, I didn't even think of that. Eh, it's a bit of a plot hole, but one I'm not willing to go back and mess with. I'll just say he didn't know about the colt.
5431108
For some reason the gdocs transfer cut various lines of dialogue. The part that talks about the spell that obscures the lips is now explained.
I've also fixed the typos and changed the 'answers' to 'questions' good catch.
Yes because that was what he was looking for. Not the fact some young colt was sneaking about his shop. No he didn't notice the horn until it was mentioned Eos was the Prince. It'd be like grabbing a kid trying to steal a candy bar. Your first thought isn't going to be if it's a girl or a boy.
To be blunt, spells don't last forever.
5432475
Trixie, you ignorant slut. With how much Blueblood gets around and Trixie travels... It could work.
Can we expect SkylaXLumy cloppy goodness?
5432945
I'm not very good at clop. It might happen, but I can't come close to what Twisted Spectrum can do.
5433322
If you want just drop me a message and I can help you write some clop. I've written some pretty popular cloppy goodness
img1.derpicdn.net/img/view/2015/1/1/796983__safe_solo_screencap_trixie_hat_reaction+image_smirk_boast+busters_mexican_bueno.jpg
Also you're great at clop. TwistedSpectrum just had an ideal situation to work with. Plus I mean like, "I want to come inside Rainbow Dash all my life and this is the closest I'll ever get so do it!" wasn't exactly the most classy way to describe the situation. Nopony is perfect, so don't kick yourself just yet. That's our job.
Though if you want advice I'd say either a bit more time between the cooldown and the onset of crushing shame, or else actually being ashamed of herself right through the orgasm, depending on what sort of reaction you were shooting for. Anyway it's a minor detail compared to the skill in which you described the experience of the city and the interactions between the princess, Luminare and Eos.
some how I missed this chapter when it came out.
I love it and the detail is really good cant what for more.
harts fire
I like it so far, can't wait for the next chapter!
I thought about something interesting while reading the part about the orb:
If the orb contain a "save" of his body, does it mean he could modify it so that he get the body of a pony instead of a human and stay in Equestria if he wanted it? That would be so cool!
I'm sorry if you already talked about that on another comment or if anypony else already said that, I didn't really read them.
i feel bad for Eos. he doesn't know he'll still be losing a sister, sorta. plus, how do we know skyla wasn't planning on leaving the empire at some point?
then again, maybe skyla will like living as a human and decide not to go back.
Am i the only idiot reading it Lumimare?
Because that's wrong and i'm stupid
Also, the end of this story is really going to suck for you, deciding who goes and who stays, with cadence it was easy, cadence was a dick and new cadence is awesome.
However, both new skyla and old skyla are awesome so you can either get rid of one and anger half your audience or get rid of the other and send an outcry amongst the other half
Oh the life and times of a popular writer.
5647661
I know.
I can say this though. I've known how this ends since I began writing it.
5647741 Cheater
5457559
Heh just noticed this comment. Did you see it updated? With any luck there will be another update this month as I have a surprise for everyone...
5647661
Both stay in Equestria as 2 Skyla's...
5729952 We both know that is bullshit, they switchedbodies through the crystal so one will end up on earth and the other will end up in equestria unless they can find a pony who wants to be a human forever and then use a transformation spell.
Personally i'm looking forward to when 'Cadence' finds out
5730026
Do we really?
Are you a prereader?
Prophet?
The Author?
Or some of the like?
If not, then you don't know - the story could very well go this or that-away.
5732277 I am none of the above but i'm a logical person and a realist and i will say right now that that would so much of a long shot that if i even see the writer headed in that direction i'm sorry but i would leave. Not because i dont want to see it happen but because it is the most weird ass thing that could happen. This would need to happen
Either
A. Find another pony willing to inhabit the human body (if A. Start at 1.)
B. Circumvent the body switching through some means that would HAVE to be bullshit because of the way he's already described the function of the crystal
1.The pony would then touch the crystal starting the body switch.
2. The pony would most likely be male, causing conflict
3. The pony would then become the human, we now have her stuck in a male stallions body
4. In my head gender benders and illusion spells are canon so they could turn her back into a female and put on the illusion of her being skyla but she would not BE skyla and that is a sorry existence in deed
Final verdict:
CANNOT HAPPEN WITHOUT SOME EXTREME BULLSHIT SITUATIONS
Now shut up you ass hat and come up with better witty explanatory come backs.
5733123
You said it, in your head, that's what you believe.
Now, in my head however...
P.S - If you need a more... 'logical' explanation, PM me, let's not flood the comments section, shall we?
5737822
5733123
Just want to point out that I know how this will end. I've known since I began to write, and while I'm sure no matter what I'll do, it'll piss someone off, I'm going to end this how I want. :P
5737845
Understood, i just can't help myself, i love a good argument and Zanec has proven to be a worthy opponent (insulted he simply came back and asked we debate outside of the story) So i will be replying YES
5737822
As long as we set some guidelines like no insulting each from now on like little children, belittling one another and not reusing arguments.
Oh and we can do it on my user page, easier to look back things than PM'ing
5737845
Yea, no problem, were just speculating.
5743583
Sad that I'm the latest commentator here :(
Any particular reason why Luminare keeps giving Skyla/Not-Skyla so much shit over everything? I mean, yeah, that's his personality, and I can really see a relation to prince Doucheblood, but it's a very constant and nonstop barrage of his jagoff-ery that's only lightly interspersed with him acting like someone that doesn't deserve a taser to the nuts. Anon/Skyla hasn't told him to shut up or piss off once, which doesn't make much sense, even with the physical attraction he/she feels towards him. There's no other interaction between them, and whenever they start to have a moment of mutual trust, he starts off with another smartass remark. Not really seeing why that's all that's been happening between them.
6034311
Given it could be another three months before I get the time to finish the latest chapter. (which is in progress) I'll answer this here and now: He's teasing her because she's reacting in a cute way, and despite her irritation with that, she's enjoying herself, though she isn't ready to admit it yet.
Luminare is keeping her annoyed and preoccupied with him and his shenanigans, that she isn't able to focus on going back to being in her old body, and as such is enjoying her time in this body, and well Luminare knows that.
He's also never gotten this kind of reaction from the real Skyla, and it's refreshing to him to see it. However he means her no harm, and if she did just tell him to buck off and leave her alone, he'd respect her wishes and probably just call a guard to escort her back.
6035076 Ah, I get it. Clever boy.
Also, "3 months"? Oh no...
6035463
I wish I could tell you otherwise, but my work schedule makes it nearly impossible to get any writing done.
6035786 my bb no
I really the hope the next chapter will be out soon... I really like this story.
What kind of work do you do btw?
6136337
I'm a shift leader/manager at a sandwich place. I don't make a TON of money, but it's enough to live off of. My shifts can generally be from noon to closing which is 10pm. I pretty much ALWAYS close. So I'll get up. Have maybe a couple of hours of my day before I have to take off and get to work. The issue here is it means my entire day is taken up by this, and I get at most two days off, BUT I do other things those days, which is why I tend to take them off.
Sadly this means I rarely have time to work on writing, and frankly a lot of time I'm too tired to want to write and would rather watch a movie, or play a videogame. So while I do occasionally make sure I type some stuff out for stories... It's VERY slow going.
Now I'm hitting a writing/idea block for the next chapter, so that's not helping at all.
6136628 Is there a way I could help you to make it go faster?
You sure about that? If so, I'll take one of your man cards.
okay, it's gotta be Trixie. In addition to what I mentioned before, she's a showmare...
is that how 'Skyla's' human parents died? Vehicular accident?
stop picking on the show's animators. You try fitting a an anatomically correct pony's gestures to some of the gestures I'm sure are in the show's script.
*effective.
I had to do a double take here, because I forgot that this is set years or possibly decades after the show, and in particular, "Hearts and Hooves Day"... so of course Button Mash grew up, and then started a videogame distributor.
That was quite an infodump you gave on the functionality of the crystal balls, but in context of the questions you mentioned in your Author's Note, I can understand wanting to explain in such detail.
And it seems I've run out of chapters that I haven't read... so I'll pray to the Creator against writers' block, and other things that prevent you from exercising your Freedom of Expression. He's never failed me before. Should be a new chapter within a few weeks if you put your mind to it :-)
6154292
Sorry, not a fan of Five divided by four. So no spin off work from me.