• Member Since 18th May, 2013
  • offline last seen January 6th

Pump It Up

Dead, but also undead. It's complicated.


Teleporting usually doesn’t cause problems for Twilight, but today it did. Instead of ending up outside, she ended up in Pinkie’s second house. In a wall.

How is an alicorn to deal?

I wrote this in maybe an hour to two hours. This one just kinda popped into my head, and much of it I wrote when I was supposed to be sleeping.

I drew the picture myself in (total) about 4 or 5 hours. I colored it in GIMP. A speed-paint (what does that really mean, anyways?) video will be out soon.

EDIT: Please, no more perverted comments about what would happen if Twilight's butt was sticking out. Twilight does not appreciate it, and Pinkie says "Shame on you!"


Chapters (1)
Comments ( 52 )

Well, it's original. That's more than I can say about my stories.
...Fuck it, have an upvote.

The brementown mention made me nostalgia all over the screen
Nice story overall
Am i perverted to think of what might of happened if twilight rear while stuck in the wall? :trollestia:

2629937 Yes.

But it's okay, I did it too. :moustache:

What would happen?
Twilight would be dead.

Loki? Huh; when he's not running around Valhalla trolling the Aesir, killing Balder, or having Snake Venom dripped all over his face, he hangs out with Pinkie. Holy crap, I can actually see that happening.

Why do I get the feeling that when Twilight teleported the second time she was facing about?

Am I just perverted?

>>Chaotic Pony
No, Twilight was facing with her head out again.
And yes, you are kind of perverted.

Well, I just figured that since she says "okie dokie lokie," why not have him appear? :twilightsmile:

Comment posted by Pump It Up deleted May 26th, 2013

to replay press the button in the upper right of the comment you want to reply to, they way you did it, doesn't have the future of
1)easily finding the comment you are replying to
2)notifying the one you reply to

Thank you for your help. It's just that, in the comment at first, it's just a bunch of numbers, so I had jumped to conclusions and assumed it'd b numbers in the final comment. Thank you for your help.

yeah thats the comment-number
what surprises me is that you already used to reply right once(2630382)

I know! Also, I did figure out it was the comment number, but I didn't get any more comments until today.
So, comments aside, did you like the story?

not really, i'm no fan of random stories, sry:pinkiesad2:

It's alright. It's random because I randomly came up with it. That IS what that tag stands for, right? :rainbowhuh:

:facehoof: no

Random: A random-tagged story will contain major elements in storytelling that reflect a lack of logic in how they came to be.

This is kind of a sub-tag of "Comedy." It's for stories that are rather incoherent or "Random," if you will.

don't worry from the discription alone it seems to fit into this category

Oh, ok. *breath of relief* Wait, I was holding my breath? I was? No? Ok...
Sorry, I just felt like doing that...RANDOMLY! :twilightsheepish:

you are aware that you hold your breath for a short while, each time you breath? so yes you where holding your breath.

:rainbowlaugh: I think I like you. :derpytongue2:

good to know that i was able fool another one:twilightsheepish:

my eye wont quit twitching, but I loved the story none the less.

Uh... why won't your eye stop twitching? :rainbowderp:

This was perhaps a bit TOO random. It also could have used quite a bit more narrative prose. The ratio of prose to dialogue was so skewed it was distracting. Also, the characterization is way off. The cover image is the only good thing about this, and perhaps it would've been better off if you left it at the cover image without trying to write an awkward, muddled mess to go with it.

Thank you for that comment. I happen to like my story, however, even if the prose to dialogue is off.
Also, what do you mean by "characterization is a bit off"?

2630382 Actually since this is alicorn Twi' she is now immortal, so...

Thank you for the complement! You get a smile in return! :pinkiehappy:

I don't know what to think of what I just read. It was Twilight's head. Taking to Pinkie. For 1000 words. And cereal. :rainbowderp:

And that is why it has the tag Random. :pinkiehappy:

Have a 40th upvote!

Wow! Thanks! I didn't realize it had reached! That's good for me!

Interesting story, to say the least.

Also, this story has good enough grammar to be included in the Good Grammar Directory, a comprehensive list of gramatically-correct stories on Fimfiction. :eeyup:

Evaluation time! My favorite time after every story!

This story was actually pretty hilarious to say the least. The idea took my by surprise since it's never been done before, but in the end, I found it pretty decent.

You managed to maintain the characters' traits throughout the whole thing, and even made Pinkie a bit smarter which is unusual for her.

Wait, what am I saying? Everything with Pinkie is unusual. It's like a Looney Tunes character threw up on a piece of paper, and Pinkie jumped out. The point is, you maintained her character pretty well. I even thought the song was catchy! How long did it take you to think of it?

You, my friend, have earned my like, favorite, and if you keep this up, my follow. (Big deal, right? {Sarcasm})

~Literary Luna

Thank you! :pinkiehappy: :pinkiehappy:
And the song probably took me ten minutes. Fifteen max.

That was still a catchy tune, and I may or may not have sung it in Pinkie's voice....maybe..:rainbowderp:

There is no shame in singing the song in Pinkie's voice! In fact, Pinkie encourages it! :pinkiehappy:

There should be a ribbon that says 100% Pinkie Pie approved! with some kind of fourth wall breaking mayhem in it.

Yes! If I had time, I would do that! Maybe soon. IDK. :facehoof:

EDIT: Please, no more perverted comments about what would happen if Twilight's butt was sticking out. Twilight does not appreciate it, and Pinkie says "Shame on you!"

lol! Oh all right then...

A simple story well written and well delivered, yes kinda obvious but there you go, it was one of those on-the-fly stories after all! I feel the idea could easily work as an episode in the series, you shall have a like!
Lima Beans? I prefer Fava Beans... and a nice Chianti! :pinkiecrazy:

Yeah, it was on-the-fly. I'm going to edit it a bit so that there's some description and not just a lot of dialogue.

That's what I like to hear! :pinkiehappy:


Funny little story, only thing I noticed was this:

who could no longer work heard

should be "hard"

No, it's supposed to be "heard." I took it directly from the text. In the original text, it should be "...who could no longer work, heard his master..."



Now that I read it again it all makes sense, thank you.

Glad to be of help. :twilightsmile: Be sure to check out my other stories, and offer advice if you want.

Nice little concept going on there. I like it! lighthearted and fun! Here have a mustache and an up-vote :moustache:

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