• Published 25th May 2013
  • 1,500 Views, 52 Comments

Teleportation Gone Wrong - Pump It Up



Twilight teleports. And fails miserably.

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4
 52
 1,500

This is Unusual

Twilight Sparkle shook her head. You know, usually when I teleport, it doesn’t hurt so much…

She tried to move her hoof and realized she couldn’t. She tried to look side to side, but she could only do it so far; all she saw was wall.

“Hello? Anybody? A bit of help here!” Twilight struggled to move. “Where am I?”

“You’re at my second house!” a voice said.

Twilight looked up the best she could and saw Pinkie Pie on the wall. “Come again?”

“My second house. Doesn’t everyone have one?”

“Well, I do, but I can’t speak for anyone else…” Twilight mumbled.

“ ‘Kay, so you’re on my hunting plaque!” Pinkie Pie hopped off the wall.

“WHAT?!” screeched Twilight. “You hunt!”

The pink party mare went pfft and said, “No silly! I hunt for food, like cupcakes! Duh!”

Twilight sighed. “I guess that makes more sense…”

“Unfortunately, you can’t use any magic for a little while.”

“How long?” Twilight asked worriedly.

“Um… At least a day.”

Pinkie Pie got a stare in response.

“Would you like a cupcake?” Without waiting for an answer, Pinkie Pie shoved a cupcake into the other mare’s mouth. “Feel better?”

The lavender mare swallowed. “Yes, actually.”

“Would you like me to tell you a story?”

“Uh…”

“Alright, so one day this meanie pants pony walked into this really pretty town that threw lots of parties…”

***

Five hours later

“…and that is how I got this tattoo!” Pinkie Pie rubbed the side of her hoof, revealing a yellow heart.

“Huh. Very interesting, Pinkie.”

“I think I’ve seen some other ponies with the same tattoo as me!”

“Okay…”

“Hmm... I think Mr. Cake has one, maybe even the princess herself!”

Twilight laughed nervously. “I think that’s enough Pinkie.”

“Would you like one?”

“NO!” she answered frantically. “I mean, no, no thank you.”

“Okie dokie lokie!”

Loki poked his head in. “Did someone call me?”

“Nope. Sorry Loki,” Pinkie said.

“Okay. Sorry to interrupt.” Loki’s head disappeared.

Twilight didn’t know what to think about the surprise visitor.

“Well, I need to get going!”

“Wait, where are you going?” Twilight asked. “It must be very late.”

“And that’s why I’m going to bed!”

“What? You’re leaving me?!”

“No! I’m going to sleep here! I wouldn’t leave my friend who’s stuck in the wall all alone! I’m just going to get ready!”

“Oh.” The lavender pony let out a breath of relief.

So while Pinkie Pie bounced around, getting ready, Twilight thought about her predicament.

I certainly didn’t expect this to happen. Teleporting outside isn’t that hard. So how did I miscalculate so much?

“Twilight, I hope you don’t mind.”

“Don’t mind what?”

“I sing before bed!”

Oy.

“Ahem…

Wake me in the morn
With some candy corn
So that my mornings will be sweet
And I’ll cheer up everyone I meet!
My friends will be happy
And maybe I’ll see my pappy!
So good night and good morning
No forewarning
Be sweet in your dreams
And eat some lima beans!
Maybe you’ll have sweetness too
When I see you!

“Wow Pinkie, that was better than I expected,” the alicorn in the wall remarked.

“And I came up with that on the fly!” Pinkie Pie bounced over to the bed she had set up. “I come up with a new one every night!” She got under the covers. “Nighty night Twilight!” Then she giggled. “That rhymes!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Twilight?”

The mare lifted an ear and then opened her eyes. “Yes Pinkie?” she replied, voice thick with sleep.

“I need a story.”

Twilight was awake now. “You need a story?”

“Yes.”

Twilight tried to think of a story that would help her friend. Is this how my friend is at night? The silliest one, scared of the night? “How about Luna’s first Nightmare Night?”

“I experienced that one. Could you tell me a different one?”

Twilight was reminded of the time she had to tell a story to one of her cousins. The foal was acting like Pinkie Pie was. “How about the story of the Braymentown Musicians?”

“What’s it about?”

“Well, I can’t say too much, but it’s about a rooster, a cat, a dog, and a donkey wanting to become musicians.”

The pink mare sat up. “I wanna hear the story!”

Twilight glanced over at Pinkie Pie, noticing that her mane was flat. “One day, an old donkey who could no longer work heard his master making plans to be rid of him. The donkey, fearing for his life, decided to run away to Braymen. ʻThere I will be a musician,ʼ he said. As the donkey walked along the road, he met a dog…”

***

“…And they were so comfortable there that they never went to Braymen to be musicians. The end.”

“Oh, thank you Twilight for that story!” Pinkie Pie went over to Twilight and gave her a hug. “That was the best story ever!”

“You’re welcome Pinkie Pie.”

“Night Twilight!” Again, she giggled.

“Good night Pinkie.” Before she closed her eyes and went back into Luna’s realm, Twilight looked at Pinkie.

Her mane was poufy once more.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Twilight’s head jerked up. “Huh, whuh?” She saw Pinkie Pie looking at her. “What?”

“I was just thinking about how your face would look on a cupcake.”

“Okay…”

Pinkie Pie bounced out of the room. “What would you like for breakfast?”

Twilight felt her stomach growl. “I’m kind of in the mood for some dandelion soup.”

“One dandelion soup, coming up!”

Not too long later, Pinkie Pie came out with two bowls. “Here it is!”

Twilight tried to see inside the other bowl. “What are you having for breakfast?”

“Cereal!”

“Cereal?” The purple alicorn was puzzled. “What’s cereal?”

“In its simplest form, it’s wheat—” she pulled out some wheat “—with other ingredients, like sugar!” The Element of Laughter poured some (maybe a bit too much) sugar in her bowl. “Then you add in milk… and voilà!”

“That seems interesting. May I try?”

“Sure!” Pinkie Pie picked up Twilight’s spoon and scooped some cereal. She then proceeded to put it in Twilight’s mouth.

Twilight chewed and then swallowed. “Not bad.” She tried levitating her bowl, but then remembered that she couldn’t perform any magic. “Um, Pinkie?”

“Yeppers?”

“Could you feed me?” Twilight asked sheepishly.

“Sure! One good turn deserves another, you know!”

***

It wasn’t long before all the soup was gone. “That was delicious, Pinkie!” Twilight licked her lips. “What was in it?”

“Well, the usual, plus sugar, celery, butternut squash, and suntree fruit!”

Twilight nodded her approval. “Suntree fruit was a great choice!”

“Yep!” Pinkie bounced into the kitchen and then bounced back, minus the plates. “So, how did you get into my wall?”

“I teleported.”

“Did you mean to come here?”

“No.”

Pinkie Pie thought a bit. “Were you thinking of me?”

Now it was Twilight’s turn to think. “I was thinking of visiting you later yesterday.”

“Well, there you go!”

“Huh?”

Pinkie Pie bounced around the room. “Thinking of me distracted you from doing the spell right. And since I was here, just checkin’ on Gummy’s pond that I have here, that’s where you teleported!”

Twilight went over what Pinkie said. “That’s pretty good Pinkie!”

The party mare glanced at a clock somewhere. It must have been on the same wall as Twilight, because she couldn't see it. “It’s been almost a day. Try… lifting me up!”

“Alright…” Twilight started concentrating, and she could feel the magic flowing through her. She saw a magenta aura around Pinkie. “It worked!"

“Now try teleporting! After you set me down, off course.”

So the alicorn set Pinkie down and said, “Wish me luck!”

“Luck!” Pinkie Pie said as Twilight teleported…

…into the opposite wall.

“Wow Twilight! I didn't expect you back so soon!”

“I would face-hoof if I could,” Twilight muttered under her breath.

“Time for another story!”

Twilight sighed.

Author's Note:

Pinkie's heart tattoo is a reference to the G3 heart on the magnet hoof.

The part about Pinkie being scared I wrote while I was listening to “Zero Gravity” by Kerli.

The story of the Braymentown Musicians is based off of a children’s Real Along With Me™ version of The Brementown Musicians.

A suntree fruit is both spicy and sweet, kind of like the Sun: hot, but life-giving. The suntree was cultivated by Princess Celestia’s gardeners, who named the tree, along with the fruit, after the raiser of the sun. Its leaves are perpetually orange or yellow, and the fruit is the same, but with red, and the colors swirl all the time. The fruit is also round. There is also a moontree, but I won’t tell you what it looks like or what its fruit is right now.
I have an idea. Guess what it looks like! See if what you think is similar to what I think!

Comments ( 49 )

Well, it's original. That's more than I can say about my stories.
...Fuck it, have an upvote.

The brementown mention made me nostalgia all over the screen
Nice story overall
Am i perverted to think of what might of happened if twilight rear while stuck in the wall? :trollestia:

2629937 Yes.

But it's okay, I did it too. :moustache:

2629937
What would happen?
.....
Twilight would be dead.

Loki? Huh; when he's not running around Valhalla trolling the Aesir, killing Balder, or having Snake Venom dripped all over his face, he hangs out with Pinkie. Holy crap, I can actually see that happening.

Why do I get the feeling that when Twilight teleported the second time she was facing about?

Am I just perverted?

>>Chaotic Pony
No, Twilight was facing with her head out again.
And yes, you are kind of perverted.

>>Siegfried
Well, I just figured that since she says "okie dokie lokie," why not have him appear? :twilightsmile:

Comment posted by Pump It Up deleted May 26th, 2013

2633368
to replay press the button in the upper right of the comment you want to reply to, they way you did it, doesn't have the future of
1)easily finding the comment you are replying to
2)notifying the one you reply to

2643538
Thank you for your help. It's just that, in the comment at first, it's just a bunch of numbers, so I had jumped to conclusions and assumed it'd b numbers in the final comment. Thank you for your help.

2643548
yeah thats the comment-number
what surprises me is that you already used to reply right once(2630382)

2643565
I know! Also, I did figure out it was the comment number, but I didn't get any more comments until today.
So, comments aside, did you like the story?

2643573
not really, i'm no fan of random stories, sry:pinkiesad2:

It's alright. It's random because I randomly came up with it. That IS what that tag stands for, right? :rainbowhuh:

2643589
:facehoof: no

Random: A random-tagged story will contain major elements in storytelling that reflect a lack of logic in how they came to be.

This is kind of a sub-tag of "Comedy." It's for stories that are rather incoherent or "Random," if you will.

don't worry from the discription alone it seems to fit into this category

2643629
Oh, ok. *breath of relief* Wait, I was holding my breath? I was? No? Ok...
Sorry, I just felt like doing that...RANDOMLY! :twilightsheepish:

2643635
you are aware that you hold your breath for a short while, each time you breath? so yes you where holding your breath.

2643642
:rainbowlaugh: I think I like you. :derpytongue2:

2643649
good to know that i was able fool another one:twilightsheepish:

my eye wont quit twitching, but I loved the story none the less.

2643907
Thanks!
Uh... why won't your eye stop twitching? :rainbowderp:

This was perhaps a bit TOO random. It also could have used quite a bit more narrative prose. The ratio of prose to dialogue was so skewed it was distracting. Also, the characterization is way off. The cover image is the only good thing about this, and perhaps it would've been better off if you left it at the cover image without trying to write an awkward, muddled mess to go with it.

2643983
Thank you for that comment. I happen to like my story, however, even if the prose to dialogue is off.
Also, what do you mean by "characterization is a bit off"?

2630382 Actually since this is alicorn Twi' she is now immortal, so...

2704688
Thank you for the complement! You get a smile in return! :pinkiehappy:

I don't know what to think of what I just read. It was Twilight's head. Taking to Pinkie. For 1000 words. And cereal. :rainbowderp:

2724742
And that is why it has the tag Random. :pinkiehappy:

Have a 40th upvote!

2767147
Wow! Thanks! I didn't realize it had reached! That's good for me!

Interesting story, to say the least.

Also, this story has good enough grammar to be included in the Good Grammar Directory, a comprehensive list of gramatically-correct stories on Fimfiction. :eeyup:

Evaluation time! My favorite time after every story!

This story was actually pretty hilarious to say the least. The idea took my by surprise since it's never been done before, but in the end, I found it pretty decent.

You managed to maintain the characters' traits throughout the whole thing, and even made Pinkie a bit smarter which is unusual for her.

Wait, what am I saying? Everything with Pinkie is unusual. It's like a Looney Tunes character threw up on a piece of paper, and Pinkie jumped out. The point is, you maintained her character pretty well. I even thought the song was catchy! How long did it take you to think of it?

You, my friend, have earned my like, favorite, and if you keep this up, my follow. (Big deal, right? {Sarcasm})

~Literary Luna

2986795
Thank you! :pinkiehappy: :pinkiehappy:
And the song probably took me ten minutes. Fifteen max.

2986822
That was still a catchy tune, and I may or may not have sung it in Pinkie's voice....maybe..:rainbowderp:

2986827
There is no shame in singing the song in Pinkie's voice! In fact, Pinkie encourages it! :pinkiehappy:

2986840
There should be a ribbon that says 100% Pinkie Pie approved! with some kind of fourth wall breaking mayhem in it.

2986845
Yes! If I had time, I would do that! Maybe soon. IDK. :facehoof:

3055064
Yeah, it was on-the-fly. I'm going to edit it a bit so that there's some description and not just a lot of dialogue.

dab

Funny little story, only thing I noticed was this:

who could no longer work heard

should be "hard"

3098347
No, it's supposed to be "heard." I took it directly from the text. In the original text, it should be "...who could no longer work, heard his master..."

dab

3098529

Now that I read it again it all makes sense, thank you.

3098875
Glad to be of help. :twilightsmile: Be sure to check out my other stories, and offer advice if you want.

Nice little concept going on there. I like it! lighthearted and fun! Here have a mustache and an up-vote :moustache:

“Now try teleporting! After you set me down, off course.”

So the alicorn set Pinkie down and said, “Wish me luck!”

“Luck!” Pinkie Pie said as Twilight teleported…

…into the opposite wall.

“Wow Twilight! I didn't expect you back so soon!”

“I would face-hoof if I could,” Twilight muttered under her breath.

“Time for another story!”

Twilight sighed.

Way too funny XD :rainbowlaugh:

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