• Member Since 7th Oct, 2012
  • offline last seen Wednesday

CrimsonEquine


Improvement is a dire mistress.

Comments ( 141 )

Not bad at all, though I think you could use a pre-reader/editor because I spotted a few errors.

I think this could turn out very interesting, Cadance's reaction for example.:trollestia:

Interesting I thought of the same concept a while ago you know shining armor being twilights father.

2608859 Because of later chapters....

2608900>>2609076 Thanks I was going to get a proofreader but, it took too long for him/her to reply so I went and just posted it anyway.

It's not too bad, but you really need to work on showing vs. telling. Also, why would Twilight need to go anyway? It's not like she's adopted or anything.

2609216 She wants to go in the name of science which I plainly explained in the story. Its a new genetics lab in Ponyville and she wanted to test that out.

That awkward moment when your father is your brother. Wait, what? Anyhow. Interesting idea! I'd like to see where this goes.

You caught me while drinking coffee you bastard...now my monitor is wet.. keep going...

Very good start. Looking forward for good'n'interesting'n'drama story! :pinkiehappy:

MOAR!!!:flutterrage::pinkiegasp:
Twilight's reaction:
:pinkiehappy::rainbowkiss::raritystarry::trollestia::unsuresweetie::derpyderp1::rainbowderp::pinkiegasp::twilightoops:

This, this intrigues me.

A little fast paced. You could've easily milked another thousand+ words with everything that happened

WTF?! New twist on the usual Twilight/Shining Armor relationship, that's for sure.....:rainbowderp:

O.O uh oh.... Shiny's got some splainin' to do. this makes Sparkle family incest story number: I HAVE NO IDEA!!!!!

2614711 I already got chapter 2 done just need someone to pre/proof read it.

2614736 *raises hand* send me a pm with the link please? I can do it for you if you want.

2614740 Give me some time. I have been asking around so...

2614744 Go ahead, I can wait.

2614747 Ah screw it, I'll just post it. Do you think I should or...

2614786 go ahead. If it has mistakes, just pay attention to the Grammar Nazis that comment about it in the comment section. It'll be a good chapter anyways, I just know it! Here, take these ponies with you:
:ajsmug::coolphoto::fluttercry::pinkiesad2::pinkiesick::pinkiesmile::pinkiecrazy:

Holy hell next chapter please.

well now you got me hooked,

probably the 2nd story i read of shining being twi's dad. can't remember where i found the first though.

*reads last line*

okay, by the set up some things might come to mind

1. Twilight is sitting there waiting for him
2. Cadence set some stuff up so they can do the mambo again
3. Cadence heard the news somehow
4. Cadence is caught cheating (with either A, some random stallion or B, his own father.)

MOAR MOAR MOAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

I can just imagine cadence going bat shit crazy and like fucking destroying shining. That would be, intresting.

Mind = Blown

Prediction: Shining Armor in an iron lung very very VERY soon

"Good news everypony! we have just invented the gun, and have given Twilight the first one and she will be testing it to-. Wait, what? She's gone off the deep end? and is looking for Shining Armor? Oh, dear... this can't end well." Said Celestia to all of Equestria

2615014
Or C, Twilight.

2615014
5: What's left of Cadance. :pinkiesick: That Dark tag has me scared, boys and girls. Very scared. :pinkiesad2:

I'm fine with this fic so long as Shining and Twilight don't do it. That's double incest. Will read latter, but only if that doesn't happen. If that is warn me now so I can back away. I like the bond Shining and Twilight share, but not like that.

Edit: That's why this fic makes me curious. I wonder how that bond would be if he was also her father.

Well I can declare shit just hit the fan.

I aint seen a cliffhanger that big since halo 2

*sigh*

Humanity, why you so disappointing?

Just what the FUCK MAN!!!

this is some fucked up shit man.

twilight, you have problems. big ones

2619295>>2619310>>2619327
Come on people! Its a dark story for a reason! Geez don't need to downvote me to hell!

2619339 What did you expect? An Oscar?

Not fucking likely... :ajbemused:

2619339

I ain't down voting.

this story maybe fucked up but it's awesome too.

2619345 Well you know what welcome to reality. This is how shit happens. Ponies lose thier minds and you think that it was going to be all cupcakes and lollipops? It has a dark tag on it by the way.:facehoof:

2619368 *sigh* People like you is why I'm tempted to leave the fandom behind me every day...

2619339
actually i'm one of the upvoters...the first 2 chapters looked promising :P

Comment posted by CrimsonEquine deleted May 23rd, 2013

2619398

I wouldn't just because people aren't fond of it being fucked up. But for any story that has content that will disturb and upset most people, I highly recommend putting a warning on the synopsis saying the story will contain rape/torture/etc. so that people who don't like such things don't read it, get upset, and then complain about it.

I personally don't abuse the downvote just because I don't agree with the content (ie, I won't down vote something with gore just because I don't like gore) I only downvote if the story genuinely sucks (which this story does not), OR if I'm mislead by the story description.

Dat sex scene. :rainbowderp::rainbowhuh::rainbowkiss::rainbowlaugh:

Deploying Pegasus Team 6* to find, capture, and put Twilight into a Mental hospital.

*Equestria's version of Seal Team 6

Well, I'm, uh, ok then. I did notice a few mistakes ANSI wanted to volunteer to be a proofreader if you don't already have one.

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