• Member Since 31st May, 2012
  • offline last seen March 1st

MaxBeezy


Better than Nicholas Sparks. Probably. Probably not. Also has a thing for Queen Chrysalis. Can't Explain Why.

Sequels1

Comments ( 141 )

Sounds like it could be interesting. Added to read later pile.

Hunter C. Creed

Interesting let's see how it will roll on

Lookin' good ,continue :ajsmug:

I had a break during work to read this. As I said I was interested. Starting off I quickly got into it. By the end I was cheesed because there is only one chapter. It was only like fifteen - twenty minutes of reading. But I ate it up, so I ask you;
static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/pictures/2011/8/24/1314207708786/oliver-twist-007.jpg
Please sir, can I have some more?

Hunter C. Creed

948368 More will come tomorrow. :pinkiesmile:

948375 As long as its ready so I can put it on my phone to read during my break tomorrow you are my hero.

Keep it up.

Hunter C. Creed

948368

MOOOOOOOOOOORE!?!? NOPONY ASKS FOR MORE!!!!1

awesome need more

Why did you have to post this right before I was going to go to sleep. I'm just about to go to sleep when I hear Derpy telling me I have an email. Just about any other fic and I would have ignored the notification and slept. But it isn't, so I didn't. Either way, I really enjoyed it, I had this stupid grin plastered on my face while reading this.

Thanks for the great read and can't wait for more. Have a great night!

Hunter C. Creed

Pshaw, what a silly concept, nobody could ever pull of a fic like this!

*reads*

cafr.wordans.com/wvc-1341354096/wordansfiles/images/2012/7/3/148981/148981_340.jpg
*favs*

This has caught my attention... I expect updates just like every one else. Oh. and I :facehoof: at Shining Armor and Cadance so much for love and tolerance. Must suck being seen as only a 'monster'.

Hmm sadly but i didn't fell that time what you described. Its like mater of week or something like that not mater of months, but still waiting for some more ;)

957502 I felt like if I went any further on describing the events during that period of time, it would get boring. But, I see your point. Thanks. :twilightsmile:

958376
But still its tragically chesse xD
maybe some revenge plot ?
or Chrysalis conscience about swarm starve, she didn't do anything to repair her mistake,
etc etc ;)

shit is going to get serious as fuck

So the Captain is going to turn traitor wow... I hope he gets caught that would teach him a thing or two but then again if he does get caught then the story might not progress as well. At least the way I'm thinking about it.

Do you always have to have an update just as I'm about to do something :applejackconfused: Two days in row I was just getting ready to something when *update*. Another great chapter, you've had me hook, line and sinker since day one. I applaud you good sir!

Have a good night, can't wait for more :moustache:

Hunter C. Creed

:pinkiegasp::pinkiegasp::pinkiegasp::pinkiegasp::pinkiegasp: all i have to say is- Cant wait for the next chapter, This story is Amazing! It is by far one of my most favourite stories ever.

Duh duh duh and everybody know how it will end :D or maybe in last moment ... (and here go pinkie pie with singing and starting war xD)

shining all I have to say is you dun fuck up bigtime

rule number one with women of any species do not make them mad and BY ALL THAT IS HOLY DO NOT MESS WITH THERE BABY
I wouldn't blame the princesses at all if they GAVE YOU ANd CADENCE TO ThE CHANGELINGS FUCK IT TURN THEM INTO CHANGELINGS LET THEM BE THE 'MONSTERS' THEY HATE............and punch cadence in the face and nut shot armor for me. I am mad:twilightangry2::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage:

:ajsleepy: Well played. You almost had be crying there :facehoof: see no tears:twilightblush:. I'm almost afraid to read the next chapter...

Hunter... C... Creed...

FUUUUUUUUUCK YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH

SHIT IS GOING TO GET FUCKING HARDCORE

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO PUMPED UP :rainbowwild: :yay:

I'm screaming so hard in my mind right now, this better than the revenge ending of Hostel

....Beautiful; nothing but.

Damn beautiful, i hoped for much more and it end that how i though it will but ehh happy ends and ppl will mob you about sequel ;D


Still very cheesy but i like it

Is your goal to see me in tears good sir? Because if so you've done your duty. I really don't know what else to say, I was hoping you would misuse the sad tag like so many others. But alas, you made use of it perfectly. You had me wanting to shout at my monitor, just hoping that it wouldn't end as it did. But it did and I'm quite depressed.

Have a great day and I shall keep watch for any future projects of yours.

Hunter C. Creed

Manly Tears:fluttercry::fluttercry::fluttercry::fluttercry::fluttercry: 5/5 Crys

:fluttercry: *slow clap*

:fluttercry: That was fucking beautiful.

Screw you man... :fluttershyouch:
Screw you... :fluttershbad:

GODDAMMIT WHY?!!!!!!:raritycry:

987441
Y U NO HAPPY ENDING? :raritydespair:

Ugh its okay...
It was a good read.
Quite refreshing to not have a gooey finish...
A proper tragedy.

988991 Good to see that you still enjoyed it. :twilightsmile:

I did think about giving the story a happy ending, but I set out to make a tragedy, and if I gave it a happy ending after all that happened beforehand, it would have felt very...out of place.

Any stories I make after this will be more pleasant...I hope.

989109
Yeah can you imagine?
"Shining Armor killed our baby!"
"Oh well lets have another one."
"YAY!"
End.

Also tragedy's nice, it gives a greater sense of katharsis than a romance ever could.

MANLY TEARS!:raritycry::raritydespair::fluttercry::fluttershyouch:

I SALUTE you for this fanfic, adding this to my favorite!

(edit: are you considering making a alternative ending, where one survives while another is still dying or both came out of it alive? Just throwing out quick ideas for some readers who is put off by the ending (not me if you're thinking that) )

1002717 Thanks for the favorite. :pinkiehappy:

As for writing an alternate ending, as much as I did battle myself (which is a story in and of itself), I'm proud of the ending that was ultimately chosen, but I do apologize to those who I upset.

I am thinking about making a prequel and a sequel, though.

1004450 a sequel! Do tell (in PM) :D

1004450

You sir, did an amazing job with this story. As is said on the Internet: you punched me right in the Feels. I was anxiously awaiting the chapters when they were still in progress. :pinkiehappy:

I agree that you should release an alternate ending to where the Strong Heart, Chrysalis, & the foal all live. I would love to read it. :twilightsmile:

Excellent work, my good man. Excellent work. :moustache:

That was a brilliant piece of work very well done

989109
Your comment of making the story as a true tragedy and avoiding a forced happy ending, is probably one of the things that make it so that I can truly respect you as a writer.

Too often everything has to end happy even if it wouldn't really fit with the story. Doing that ruins the story that is built up.:ajsleepy:
But you sir, managed to create a beautiful ending that leaves with a teary smile. Masterful, truly masterful.:twilightsmile:

1009783
I would really have to disagree on the alternate ending. :ajbemused:

1015726

Let me clarify a bit: I'm a huge romantic at heart and if relationships(which are extremely difficult to write as legit and not forced) are done properly, you really grow attached to those characters. I grew attached to Strong Heart and Chrysalis, as I'm sure most of the readers did. I would love to read that story of their hybrid child being raised. It's a great concept and one that should really be expanded upon.

The ending as it was, was very well done and punched me right in the Feelings. Didn't make me cry like "My Little Dashie", but this one hit pretty hard all the same.

1015726 Thank you for the comment. It's not every day where someone calls my writing masterful. :pinkiehappy:
I won't develop an ego about it, I swear. :trixieshiftleft:

1015883 I am also a romantic at heart. Though I'm more of an action movie guy, I'm very judgmental about romance movies, something a lot of people don't know about me. If I don't believe the romance, I'm out of the story. When writing this, I grew attached to Strong Heart and Chrysalis while writing them, and continually hated myself for doing what I did to them, but it just felt natural. I wanted the reader to feel for them, just as I did, and from the looks of it, it seems like I succeeded.

You should also read The Mailmare and I. It's significantly happier. :scootangel:

"Why do I keep reading these sad fics?"

This is beautiful! :heart:

I wish the story didn't have to end like this. I hate sad endings. Still, at least it's satisfying. Poor Chrysalis and Strong Heart and their little filly. At least they can be together as a family now...

Where has been this story nall my life. Beautiful, sad but still beautiful. I knw I may ask for too much, but can you make another ending I mean one that has a happy ending not, a sad ending. Please. :pinkiesad2:

wow. just wow. i love story now and forever. almost cried.

Very good story, entirely great story. Heartrending and sad, romantic and tragic. I kind of wish Cadence and Shining lived so they could feel the wrath of the Princesses. However it reminded me of Macbeth, everyone important except for a few characters die for vengeance, one way or another. You know, I would demand a happy ending version, despite the fact it would make destroy the build up the story was trying to make, but I understand why it needs to end like this. However it doesn't mean I won't wish for one. :derpytongue2:

Now, I wonder if a story about Twilight's child could be a possibility, though hopefully it will be happy. I don't think my heart could stand another ending like this. :fluttercry:

Best wishes, this was awesome, very, very, very awesome.

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