• Member Since 2nd Sep, 2012
  • offline last seen Dec 1st, 2019


What to do with my life now


In which the princesses decide who has the best butt.

A tale of epic proportions involving cake, princesses, and the unwitting victims of royal tomfoolery.

Chapters (2)
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Comments ( 51 )

Silly Luna, a butt can't be too big! That's not scientifically possible!

I respectfully disagree. The butts I've seen... :fluttershbad::raritycry::applecry::pinkiesick:

2560920 A butt is like a pizza. Even when it's not good, it's still pretty good.

2561028 Now there's an idea! Put pineapples on a butt! Sir, let me shake your hand! Don't worry! I washed it!

You keep the pineapple, I'll take the butt.

Congratulations from Parcly Taxel, Princess Luna's personal spokespony!


Oh my gosh... You guys are worse than me XP

And I just said "Stupid Luna, Stupid, Idiot"

And they say Celestia is a troll.:trixieshiftleft: Luna seems very obsessed in stallions.:trixieshiftright:

So..Cadance needs a butt expansion?

A butt is like fine red wine. Its a quality thing to have when you want it.
But too much of it can leave you with more than just a terrible headache.

We needs more Flank Wars. Like Chrysalis getting in on the action XD

And I agree with kingtiger666, a rumpus can never be too big!


That I'm willing to bite my pride, and take it full force and tell it,'come on over here and mash me!' And I'll die with no regrets.

I vote in favor of Luna's twin moons.

Funny, glad you didn't make Twilight act out of character.

This deserves a mustache, and a follow!

So Shining forgot his purple helmet? One should always think about protection. But at least he brought his spear. A mighty fine example it is, with a firm wooden shaft and a stabbing tip, it's a standard among the guards. Or if that fails, he has his horn at the ready, prepared to penetrate any victim foolish enough to present themselves. But duty calls! As a proud stallion of the guard Shining will always stand at attention when presented to royalty, and provide any service the princesses may require.

Kind of reminds me of that Greek myth where all the Goddesses fought over who was the most beautiful, but with horse goddess ass quality.

Really? Trying to find who has the better butt by how Shining rises to the occasion? I am glad that Twilight didn't get in on this. I am reminded of another story where he was judging Fluttershy and Rarity, and he made Fluttershy cry. Then he gave Candace a failing grade, and divorced her.

The story was great, but these comments could make a story on their own! :pinkiehappy:

That... sure was something. Something funny, so I approve.

It seems to me that the "Flank War" was just an excuse (as much as you can use something something awkward as this as an excuse) to mess with Shining Armor.

2565861 I wholeheartedly agree. I was cracking up at a lot of these XD

Found a few mistakes. The original is on top, the fixed is below it. Probably missed some, though; I'm really tired.

princesses; Luna, Celestia, and Twilight, sat
princesses—Luna, Celestia, and Twilight—sat

them; and although it
them. Though it

bite-size product
bite-sized product

cake; but
cake, but

her, and
her and

understand. An
understand: An

alicorn, too you
alicorn too, you

nervously, "Who's
nervously. “Whose

you leave
There’s an unnecessary space here, like you hit enter on accident.

of excercise
of exercise

sister, "Get
sister. “Get

Luna!" The older
Luna!" the older

male! They will
male! He will

open, and
open and

bit, and
bit and

face, to
face to

today; for
today, for

Celestia began,
Celestia began.

now, and
now and

does thus conclude
does this conclude

sighed, "Everything's
sighed. “Everything’s

That's all I found. Really funny story, all things told. Nice, quick read.

Great, now write another chapter. I need more non-sexual butts.

asdfghjkl :flutterrage: not another chapter!? thank you for apologizing i think if you didn't i would have raged.

2573617 lol sorry. I think I got some dislikes for that. I'm thinking about a sequel though, just not real soon.

holy shit dude, you didn't tell me you got a reading, and this shit is hilarious! how the dialects inflected change so rapidly is fantastic!

edit; commented before he finished, omg roflmao! the way he said 'H W rawGerz' HAHAHAAAAAA!!!

2588961 Totally forgot to tell you! Yeah, the way he reads it, I was smiling like an idiot the whole time.

This was quite funny. Have you put this in Reading it For the Plot?

3456235 Yeah, a bit of a while back, I believe.

That's good. Bet those guys got a laugh out of it. Ever consider writing a sequel? Maybe with Luna's flank taking center stage?

3458121 I'd have to do some hard thinking on what else I could do with butts... well, not really, but still.

Sequel? Possibly, in a way, but nothing's really going to get done until I finish a different story of mine that's been going on for about 9 months now.

3458267 Nup. Close Bonds. Although I need to finish that up too... I'm actually in the last few chapters of it.

Cool. I haven't updated my stories in a while. Maybe I'll do that tomorrow.

3458310 Good luck on that, then. I'm going to get back to writing as well.

Best of luck. May the daughters of Zeus guide your hands.

3458339 It only took me eleven weeks to figure out what you meant by that XD

Shining you luckyBAS***D

Author Interviewer

Well, that was a thing. I'll admit, you got a big laugh out of me with "the usual victim". :)

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