Rainbow Dash knows it’s the rule that you should always be nice to service workers, but it’s getting really hard to keep it together when she’s about to be late for class and the blonde girl behind the counter insists on taking 30 minutes to make her order and keeps staring at her the entire time, and Rainbow desperately needs her Monday morning boost, like right now.

---

Rainbow Dash's smoothie-related misadventures lead her to starting a new part-time job at Sweet Apple Shakes. Now she must face her super-weird new coworker, a girl named Applejack who probably hates her.

(Based on an EQG short, but not EQG. The cover is a temp thing.)

Rated Teen for swearing and talk of unhealthy lifestyle habits. Warnings to be updated.

⠠⠺⠑⠄⠗⠑⠀⠝⠕⠀⠌⠗⠁⠝⠛⠻⠎⠀⠞⠕⠀⠇⠕⠧⠑⠠⠽⠀⠐⠅⠀⠮⠀⠗⠥⠇⠑⠎⠀⠯⠀⠎⠀⠙⠀⠠⠊⠀⠐⠣⠙⠀⠠⠊⠐⠜
⠠⠁⠀⠋⠥⠇⠇⠀⠉⠕⠍⠍⠊⠞⠍⠢⠞⠄⠎⠀⠱⠁⠞⠀⠠⠊⠄⠍⠀⠹⠔⠅⠬⠀⠷⠠⠽⠀⠺⠙⠝⠄⠞⠀⠛⠑⠞⠀⠹⠀⠋⠀⠁⠝⠽⠀⠕⠮⠗⠀⠛⠥⠽⠠⠊⠀⠚⠀⠺⠁⠝⠝⠁⠀⠞⠑⠇⠇⠀⠽⠀⠓⠪⠀⠠⠊⠄⠍⠀⠋⠑⠑⠇⠬
⠠⠛⠕⠞⠞⠁⠀⠍⠁⠅⠑⠀⠽⠀⠐⠥⠌⠯⠠⠝⠐⠑⠀⠛⠕⠝⠝⠁⠀⠛⠊⠧⠑⠀⠽⠀⠥⠏
⠠⠝⠐⠑⠀⠛⠕⠝⠝⠁⠀⠇⠑⠞⠀⠽⠀⠙⠪⠝⠠⠝⠐⠑⠀⠛⠕⠝⠝⠁⠀⠗⠥⠝⠀⠜⠨⠙⠀⠯⠀⠙⠑⠎⠻⠞⠀⠽⠠⠝⠐⠑⠀⠛⠕⠝⠝⠁⠀⠍⠁⠅⠑⠀⠽⠀⠉⠗⠽
⠠⠝⠐⠑⠀⠛⠕⠝⠝⠁⠀⠎⠁⠽⠀⠛⠙⠃⠽⠑⠠⠝⠐⠑⠀⠛⠕⠝⠝⠁⠀⠞⠑⠇⠇⠀⠁⠀⠇⠊⠑⠀⠯⠀⠓⠥⠗⠞⠀⠽
⠠⠺⠑⠄⠧⠑⠀⠐⠅⠝⠀⠑⠁⠡⠀⠕⠮⠗⠀⠿⠀⠎⠀⠇⠰⠛⠠⠽⠗⠀⠓⠑⠜⠞⠄⠎⠀⠆⠢⠀⠁⠡⠬⠂⠀⠃⠀⠽⠄⠗⠑⠀⠞⠕⠕⠀⠩⠽⠀⠞⠕⠀⠎⠁⠽⠀⠭⠀⠐⠣⠎⠁⠽⠀⠭⠐⠜
⠠⠔⠎⠊⠙⠑⠂⠀⠺⠑⠀⠃⠕⠹⠀⠐⠅⠀⠱⠁⠞⠄⠎⠀⠃⠑⠢⠀⠛⠕⠬⠀⠕⠝⠀⠐⠣⠛⠕⠬⠀⠕⠝⠐⠜⠠⠺⠑⠀⠐⠅⠀⠮⠀⠛⠁⠍⠑⠀⠯⠀⠺⠑⠄⠗⠑⠀⠛⠕⠝⠝⠁⠀⠏⠇⠁⠽⠀⠭⠠⠯⠀⠊⠋⠀⠽⠀⠁⠎⠅⠀⠍⠑⠀⠓⠪⠀⠠⠊⠄⠍⠀⠋⠑⠑⠇⠬
⠠⠙⠕⠝⠄⠞⠀⠞⠑⠇⠇⠀⠍⠑⠀⠽⠄⠗⠑⠀⠞⠕⠕⠀⠃⠇⠀⠞⠕⠀⠎⠑⠑⠠⠝⠐⠑⠀⠛⠕⠝⠝⠁⠀⠛⠊⠧⠑⠀⠽⠀⠥⠏⠠⠝⠐⠑⠀⠛⠕⠝⠝⠁⠀⠇⠑⠞⠀⠽⠀⠙⠪⠝
⠠⠝⠐⠑⠀⠛⠕⠝⠝⠁⠀⠗⠥⠝⠀⠜⠨⠙⠀⠯⠀⠙⠑⠎⠻⠞⠀⠽⠠⠝⠐⠑⠀⠛⠕⠝⠝⠁⠀⠍⠁⠅⠑⠀⠽⠀⠉⠗⠽⠠⠝⠐⠑⠀⠛⠕⠝⠝⠁⠀⠎⠁⠽⠀⠛⠙⠃⠽⠑
⠠⠝⠐⠑⠀⠛⠕⠝⠝⠁⠀⠞⠑⠇⠇⠀⠁⠀⠇⠊⠑⠀⠯⠀⠓⠥⠗⠞⠀⠽⠠⠝⠐⠑⠀⠛⠕⠝⠝⠁⠀⠛⠊⠧⠑⠀⠽⠀⠥⠏
⠠⠝⠐⠑⠀⠛⠕⠝⠝⠁⠀⠇⠑⠞⠀⠽⠀⠙⠪⠝⠠⠝⠐⠑⠀⠛⠕⠝⠝⠁⠀⠗⠥⠝⠀⠜⠨⠙⠀⠯⠀⠙⠑⠎⠻⠞⠀⠽⠠⠝⠐⠑⠀⠛⠕⠝⠝⠁⠀⠍⠁⠅⠑⠀⠽⠀⠉⠗⠽⠠⠝⠐⠑⠀⠛⠕⠝⠝⠁⠀⠎⠁⠽⠀⠛⠙⠃⠽⠑
⠠⠝⠐⠑⠀⠛⠕⠝⠝⠁⠀⠞⠑⠇⠇⠀⠁⠀⠇⠊⠑⠀⠯⠀⠓⠥⠗⠞⠀⠽⠠⠺⠑⠄⠧⠑⠀⠐⠅⠝⠀⠑⠁⠡⠀⠕⠮⠗⠀⠿⠀⠎⠀⠇⠰⠛
⠠⠽⠗⠀⠓⠑⠜⠞⠄⠎⠀⠃⠑⠢⠀⠁⠡⠬⠂⠀⠃⠀⠽⠄⠗⠑⠀⠞⠕⠕⠀⠩⠽⠀⠞⠕⠀⠎⠁⠽⠀⠭⠀⠐⠣⠞⠕⠀⠎⠁⠽⠀⠭⠐⠜
⠠⠔⠎⠊⠙⠑⠂⠀⠺⠑⠀⠃⠕⠹⠀⠐⠅⠀⠱⠁⠞⠄⠎⠀⠃⠑⠢⠀⠛⠕⠬⠀⠕⠝⠀⠐⠣⠛⠕⠬⠀⠕⠝⠐⠜⠠⠺⠑⠀⠐⠅⠀⠮⠀⠛⠁⠍⠑⠀⠯⠀⠺⠑⠄⠗⠑⠀⠛⠕⠝⠝⠁⠀⠏⠇⠁⠽⠀⠭
⠠⠊⠀⠚⠀⠺⠁⠝⠝⠁⠀⠞⠑⠇⠇⠀⠽⠀⠓⠪⠀⠠⠊⠄⠍⠀⠋⠑⠑⠇⠬⠠⠛⠕⠞⠞⠁⠀⠍⠁⠅⠑⠀⠽⠀⠐⠥⠌⠯⠠⠝⠐⠑⠀⠛⠕⠝⠝⠁⠀⠛⠊⠧⠑⠀⠽⠀⠥⠏
⠠⠝⠐⠑⠀⠛⠕⠝⠝⠁⠀⠇⠑⠞⠀⠽⠀⠙⠪⠝⠠⠝⠐⠑⠀⠛⠕⠝⠝⠁⠀⠗⠥⠝⠀⠜⠨⠙⠀⠯⠀⠙⠑⠎⠻⠞⠀⠽⠠⠝⠐⠑⠀⠛⠕⠝⠝⠁⠀⠍⠁⠅⠑⠀⠽⠀⠉⠗⠽
⠠⠝⠐⠑⠀⠛⠕⠝⠝⠁⠀⠎⠁⠽⠀⠛⠙⠃⠽⠑⠠⠝⠐⠑⠀⠛⠕⠝⠝⠁⠀⠞⠑⠇⠇⠀⠁⠀⠇⠊⠑⠀⠯⠀⠓⠥⠗⠞⠀⠽⠠⠝⠐⠑⠀⠛⠕⠝⠝⠁⠀⠛⠊⠧⠑⠀⠽⠀⠥⠏⠠⠝⠐⠑⠀⠛⠕⠝⠝⠁⠀⠇⠑⠞⠀⠽⠀⠙⠪⠝
⠠⠝⠐⠑⠀⠛⠕⠝⠝⠁⠀⠗⠥⠝⠀⠜⠨⠙⠀⠯⠀⠙⠑⠎⠻⠞⠀⠽⠝⠐⠑⠀⠛⠕⠝⠝⠁⠀⠍⠁⠅⠑⠀⠽⠀⠉⠗⠽⠠⠝⠐⠑⠀⠛⠕⠝⠝⠁⠀⠎⠁⠽⠀⠛⠙⠃⠽⠑
⠝⠐⠑⠀⠛⠕⠝⠝⠁⠀⠞⠑⠇⠇⠀⠁⠀⠇⠊⠑⠀⠯⠀⠓⠥⠗⠞⠀⠽⠠⠝⠐⠑⠀⠛⠕⠝⠝⠁⠀⠛⠊⠧⠑⠀⠽⠀⠥⠏⠠⠝⠐⠑⠀⠛⠕⠝⠝⠁⠀⠇⠑⠞⠀⠽⠀⠙⠪⠝⠠⠝⠐⠑⠀⠛⠕⠝⠝⠁⠀⠗⠥⠝⠀⠜⠨⠙⠀⠯⠀⠙⠑⠎⠻⠞⠀⠽
⠠⠝⠐⠑⠀⠛⠕⠝⠝⠁⠀⠍⠁⠅⠑⠀⠽⠀⠉⠗⠽⠠⠝⠐⠑⠀⠛⠕⠝⠝⠁⠀⠎⠁⠽⠀⠛⠙⠃⠽⠑⠠⠝⠐⠑⠀⠛⠕⠝⠝⠁⠀⠞⠑⠇⠇⠀⠁⠀⠇⠊⠑⠀⠯⠀⠓⠥⠗⠞⠀⠽

Seems that Uncle Sam already paid this long description a visit. Would you like to know more?

Trigger Warnings:
Missiles, The American Dream, Exposed Rivets, Balloons, Twitter, Ponies, Human in Equestria tropes but with more war crimes, the Geneva Suggestions, Reddit, Tankies, Communism, Un-democratic Ideas, Brain Cells, Lack of Brain Cells, Twilightism, Rainbow Dash, Uncomfortable Situations, Trans-Animacy relationships, Isekai, Luna not being shipped with the main character, Alcoholism, , classified , Dave Applebees

A big thank you to DarthBall, for losing 39 IQ in the process of writing this shitpost, and Orderly Dissassembly for the five-dollar Applebees gift card (along with the cover art and editing).

The gathering of the world's worst, visited this year by a special guest: The world's Flutterest. And shyest, I suppose.

Loosely inspired by the 1939 Eugene O'Neil play 'Flutterdeath', the 1981 Frank Zappa song 'Minions', and the age old Finnish tradition of telling particularly devious japes and jiberies on the date known there as 'April Fool's Day'. Featuring a special mystery guest appearance! Who is it? Read inside and find out!

I live on Earth, just like every other human being in existence and every human being to exist. It's 2026 and AI technology is evolving rapidly, so what do scientists do? They stick an AI inside a robot and it walks and talks like a real human! People find this technology to be quite an amazing feat of humans, but I find it rather scary. Like, it's a fake human, don't trust it! However, my perspective changes one day as I hear a knock on the door and welcome into my house a peculiar guest.

Petunia Paleo is convinced Fluttershy is a dinosaur. She might just be right. Unfortunately, in the Everfree Forest, it's eat or be eaten.

An April Foal's Day crackfic that shouldn't be taken seriously.

They've face a lot of powerful villains in the past, Nightmare Moon, Discord, Tirek, all of which they defeated through the Magic of Friendship. But when an Ancient Sorcerer appears out of nowhere, the girls unite, confident that they could defeat the King of Curses with the Magic of Friendship. Unfortunately, for them...

...He has a counter to that.

I love Jujutsu Kaisen.

Featured 4/1/2024!

This story is a sequel to Hearts and Shoes Day

A shocking revelation quickly ends any thoughts Anon had about enjoying a lazy morning, fortunately, he has ponies he can trust to help him see through his mare friends antics.

Sadly, he didn't have anyone to stop him from trying to one-up Ponyville's premier prankster.

Technically a sequel to my previous Anon and Rainbow Dash story, but reading it isn't required.

(Takes place after Season 2 Episode 2)
The Mane 6 defeats Discord with the Elements of Harmony, and just before he was turned back into stone, he released a curse upon Equestria, starting a zombie outbreak and political unrest as one final attempt to bring chaos. Will the Mane 6 prevail and put a stop to one of Discord's games, or will he have the last laugh?

A MLP infection AU I made with changes to the characters and world building because I'm loving this trend.

Sunset Shimmer, once a bully and now a friend has a secret life, she is the wise-cracking hero, Solar Eclipse, but it's easier said than done, when dealing with bad guys, working for the local newspaper article as their photographer, high school drama and romance all while keeping her secret identity from her friends, she got this sort of.

This story did not explode! What a relief and/or letdown.

Part of OPERATION CRACKFIC STORM 2024 ( group | stories ).

Thanks to Silk Rose for coming up with the idea, writing chapters 22 and 9, and developing the code; thanks also to Meadowsys for general code help.

Thanks to IrradiatedPirateBooty ( tumblr ) for the awesome character art.

And thanks to everyone in the comments who stuck around for the final countdown!