Equestria boasts its loving ways, but deep down, there is an empty feeling. A feeling that, somehow, their lives aren't complete. Christians nowadays would call it a god shaped hole in their hearts.

And, as always, God cares for everyone (and everypony), so he sends his only son on yet another mission of salvation.

Nightmare Moon, Discord, Chrysalis, Sombra, and Tirek. All were once powerful beings bent on taking over Equestria, but they were constantly stopped again and again by six mares, who were the bearers of the Elements of Harmony. All six of them lived in a quaint little town called Ponyville. They lived simple lives, and they enjoyed each others company immensely.

But after the events with Starlight Glimmer, who would become one of the mares new students, one higher up authority now believes each of them would need protection within for the future. The Pony Goddess, the mother of Luna and Celestia, has made a fateful decision.

So after much deliberation, she has taken six humans from another world, one that interested her so much, and a race that had been familiar with war and conflict for millennium, and assigned each of them a former bearer each. Solely for the purpose of matchmaking.

What? Gods get bored sometimes.

And how do these humans take the scenario? well as one of the humans chosen says in his native tongue...

'For Fuck Sake!'

This is not family friendly is you hadn't already guess from the rating

Set after 'Times are Changeling'

Anon does not like Equestria.
It's not that life there is too hard for him, quite the opposite.
The ponies have been generous enough to provide him with clothing, shelter, and more food than he could possibly eat.
And he hates it.
In this new world everything he had learned has suddenly become useless.
All he can do now is mooch off of others.
And to top it off some stupid retard decides to crash into him

This was the summer that everything went wrong. This was the summer that my best friend vanished.

First person story told from Rainbow's perspective. Based on a real life event that happened a couple years ago.

Preread by: DerpyMuffin7

Featured on 4/7/2017 and 4/8/2017! Thanks so much for the support, everyone!

One wintry evening, a frozen, half starved and exhausted mare wanders into Ponyville from out of the wilderness. It seems straightforward on how to deal with her, a traveller from a world of humans across the forbidden Void, on an adventure in Equestria. Welcoming her, the Element Bearers try to befriend this mare, aid in her quest, and help her find her way home again.

Things don’t quite work out as planned.

Captured by your enemy. It's something that no soldier wants to think about, much less experience. Unfortunately for one U.S. soldier fighting in Equestria, that's exactly what happens. At the mercy of the ponies, he will have to resist their attempts to extract information from him, and hope that he'll see freedom again.
(Language warning for those who care.)

Many thanks to my prereader, Cosmic Cowboy, for letting me bounce ideas off him, and not letting me upload garbage.
Cover art by the awesome (and patient) Erindor.
Appeared in the feature box for a brief time on 10/11/2015. I have no words...

Twilight Sparkle screwed up magic experimentation. Again. So cliche.

Here is her diary post-factum.

You've had your eyes set on Applejack for a long time. Maybe your best friend Rainbow Dash can help you earn Applejack's heart. You wouldn't see why not. Besides, she's your best bro. Right?

Previous Cover Art

Chinese Translation on Fimtale
Spanish Translation by Spaniard Kiwi

This story is contained in my book "Dash Tries to Win Your Heart and Other Short Pony Stories"

If you have interest in purchasing this non-profit book, check out my online store at this link: https://www.lulu.com/search?adult_audience_rating=00&q=flutterpriest

Second person shipping starring you as Mouse Cursor and Rainbow Dash the Interactive Pony. You had a crush on her for a while now, but is the feeling mutual? Innuendos galore.

Special thanks to Koen and CloudHop.

When a man needs a shave in Ponyville, there isn't really anywhere to go. After all, horses don't shave! So, you have no choice but to go to the most stylish pony in town for assistance: Rarity. Lucky for you, she's the helpful type, and is willing to make you look good as new. But at what cost?

...
Oh, and by the way, thanks for the idea Enigmatic Otaku. I hope you choke on a pineapple.