This isn't where I belong. I left all this behind years ago, moved on with my life. But a mare from my past brought me back, and now she won't let me go. So I'm stuck here, trying to make the best of it with ponies that don't understand me, don't even like me. But when something moves in the darkness, and when things go wrong in the cold, dead night, they'll turn to me to try to set things right.

Why? Because once a police pony, always a police pony.
~~
This is a spin-off story to 'Why am I Pinkie Pie?!', and will contain spoilers for that story, but it's not necessary to read that story to understand this one.
Cover art by the talented Conicer
Need more Cinnamon Swirl? Merlos the Mad wrote a fanfic of this story!

There is now a side-story: A Hard Day's Nightmare Night

After the 'Canterlot Wedding' incident the Changeling swarm was scattered across the land, enslaved by pony warlords and slavers beyond the borders of Equestria. Weak, desperate and with only a dozen changelings to her name, Queen Chrysalis resorts to summoning one of the most obscure creatures in mythology; a human.

Thanks to zinger906 for giving me the idea for this story.

Walking with the paws of an ancient predator, a young man finds himself in a strange world. A world where horses are the dominant species, and he’s a very rare and dangerous animal. How will a speechless man turned wolf deal with society? How will he approach ponies? Would he even want to bother speaking to them?

(Love interest is not revealed in any of the current chapters. So don't freak out when you don't see it. I'm also focusing on a very realistic sense of love. This will be a later part of the story when romance becomes truly relevant. Point out ALL errors to me when you see them, even the ones that have been pointed out already, and I'll see what I can do.)

(Special thanks to my EPIC Proof-reader and Editor ultra1437)

Two enemies wind up in Equestria due to a major mishap. Will they come to terms with this world? Most importantly, will they be able to put their old feud aside to survive?

A dragon suddenly takes up residence near Ponyville. Cirrus Cloud, an ordinary pegasus living in Ponyville who has trouble making friends, ends up meeting it through a strange series of events.

It turns out the dragon is mute, and somehow, Cirrus Cloud manages to befriend it. But how does one be friends with a mute dragon?

When Twilight was young, she used to sit on the balcony and look down at the statues in the royal garden. At the strange creatures of fur and armour and feathers and horns, and just...wonder on them.
And out of all of them, out of the unique draconequus and the rare Cyclops and the terrifying Invention Monkey, one particular statue always caught her eye.
Four...blocky, for lack of a better word, knights. Frozen in perfect formation, their heads hidden deep within the confines of their helmets. Each one stuck in the same pose, for as long as she'd known them.
And beneath them, engraved into the stone they were a part of, was a simple message.
"Wake us when something fun happens or Celestia stops being a bitch, whichever comes first."

Now with tropes page, all thanks to Eyeshield. Good work, buddy.

Things happen. Nothing happens in between these things. If they did, they'd simply be things with more nothing between 'em. So how do you measure the nothing? Two ponies, equally flawed, intend to find out together... no matter how far it takes them.

This is the story that won first place in /fic/'s eighteenth write-off competition. The original story--here, split into three chapters--was written and edited over a period of just seventy two hours. I intend to add additional chapters whenever the fit comes upon me. Do yourself a big favor and check out all the other awesome entries as well!

Have you ever had a dream that just seemed so real, that it was impossible to say for certain that it was even a dream at all? A dream that, despite all of its impossibilities, seemed to re-write your entire perception of reality, re-writing your sense of what—and indeed, who—you are? Accepting change is hard enough as it is. But when you're a somebody who wakes up as a somepony, how do you cope with the impact such a drastic change has on your mind and body? With changes like these, it must surely just be a lucid dream—albeit a suspiciously accurate one—just brimming with potential and ripe for exploration. So you might as well suck it up and make the most of these distressingly…unusual circumstances, and seize this psychological adventure before you wake up and the dream ends.
After all, this couldn't possibly be real, so the dream must come to an end eventually…right?

Less than a few hours have passed since Twilight ascended to an Alicorn and Equestria Celebrated. As the kingdom rests she is called in the early hours of the morning after the coronation festivities to aid her mentor in a task the Sun Princess herself could not complete.

This task will test Twilight's newfound talent for crafting magic. It will take her on an epic quest to face a foe already contained in the darkest recesses of Canterlot Castle.

As Celestia's desperation grows and its bonds weaken, Twilight is entrusted to do what The Princess Celestia could not; she is entrusted to defeat it.

Monsters are what bear the most secret fears of our hearts. They bring forth our nightmares without mercy. To fight one risks becoming one. What we all should understand about monsters however, is that they are so much more than the shapes that they bear.

Originally on fanfiction but brought to you here. Originally written back during my "Oh my Celestia, Twilight is an alicorn now" bombshell.

When several ponies find themselves taken far out of harm's way, when they would have been severely harmed or even dead otherwise,—and when other, more secretive and suspect ponies are found eviscerated, or go missing, it becomes evident that something strange and otherwordly has its watchful eye perched on Ponyville and the surrounding areas. . . .

And no one has the slightest clue who, what, where, when, why or how.

Note(s): This story was started a while ago and many things have changed. Some aspects of the story are hindered because of this; broken images, changes in formatting, etc. Let me know if you see anything and I will work to change it.

Also: no, he is not me, he is not Zee Captain, and he is most certainly not the Pyro.