Two enemies wind up in Equestria due to a major mishap. Will they come to terms with this world? Most importantly, will they be able to put their old feud aside to survive?
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I actually like it. Despite its many grammatical and spelling errors.
You need to fix that. Maybe get a proof-reader to check those out for you.
Also, pacing. This is way too short for all that stuff, I get what you're trying to do, skipping through the story to get to the good stuff, but if you don't pace the story, you'll end up with a complete mess.
This has potential, especially the characters.
I'll be watching this.
Ok, I'm really enjoying this one. I can picture this happening as clear as day in my own AD&D campaigns. Just do me a favor, please don't ship these two without at least a few chapters of pony shenanigans first and foremost. I'd also like to see how our fledgling paladin handles herself when deities (two of them anyway) walk amongst the mortals. And as for necromancy, would ponies even know what that is? I mean, for all they know, it's just really really involved taxidermy. Ha! As long as the dead don't rise and stumble around him, the ponies will just think he's a strange magic user.
Of course, once the peaceful ponies do find out what exactly necromancy is, someone's going to have a lot of explaining to do or get a shot of rainbows and harmony in the nads.
Serious question: If you're not really evil or trying to throw the world into chaos, will the Elements of Harmony actually do anything to you? I mean, it probably won't turn you to stone or splatter your soul across the sky. Would it just make you feel really happy and loving like some goofball baddie that was hosed down with "Good" slime from Ghostbusters 2? The video is pretty much what I expect if a normal being got blasted... er, minus the drippings of goo.
Hmmmm.....are you sure you're able to keep up with the updates with all three of your active stories? The quality is top notch, but I don't want you to stretch yourself too thin.
dashie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw892_131715680015.png
this is awesome keep up the good work
Not sure if I should yell at you for making a story every week or congratulate you for making them all pretty good...
The latter seems like a better response, so good job!
i am enjoying this greatly
Gosh am I going to have to rip this story a new one: If what the person above (king of the muffins) said is true then I think you should work more on one project at a time instead of churning out a bunch of stuff, Seriously. I LOVE the concept but the pacing is waaaaaaaaay to fast. It is my personal opinion that you should have included the battle so that readers get a feel for the main characters. Instead it goes rather like this: humans in equestria! (What a concept!) timber wolves! Fire! Celestia and Luna: Oh lawdy time to investigate! (No plan, no telling anyone where they were going?) the necromancer is in prison! And I bet I know what celestia and Luna are going to say next chapter too: "being mean is a no no, go stay with twilight and learn friendshipz!" And then the way the characters act is kinda funk too, the people do not mix. I mean that as in each character so far has always acted the same way. And I am not saying the characters should break style and act like a different person. What I am saying is no matter the situation or what a person says or how another person acts they always act the same way about everything, which is quite frankly very bland. I am just giving criticism by the way, and I do not mean to come off as an ass.
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The pacing reminds me of sharp cuts you find in TV episodes when you don't have an hour to draw out the drama, they just cut to the next scene, like the dungeon, for laughs... I'd expect a mocking music background or laugh track to go with it too.
The whole thing reminds me more of TV episodes actually, such as when Celestia reveals the necromancer telling them the paladin is a frog and can be bought cheap to which she starts choking the crap out of him. And like parents, the two alicorns have to break up the "children" and their bickering.
Don't make me stop the planet! So help me I'll stop it and give you something to be sorry about!
Oh yes, the salad days of being the slightly older brother in a two-child household. Somehow my sister and I didn't kill each other... or drive my parents into the nut house.
2350635 ok I get that and it does make more sense now, Thanks for being polite and not verbally murdering me. :)
that's always a good idea...
you got me hanging on the edge of my seat.
more, more, MORE
I'm loving this necromancer!
I..I think he snapped.
LUNA! SAVE HIM FROM FALLING TO HIS DEATH! I LIKE THE GUY!
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you THINK?
this is awesome
he spent half a day in equestria and he's already gone mad.
That is pretty much my reaction to everything in Ponyland, Mr. Necromancer guy. Suddenly pony and no way home? Jump out a window!
YEESSSS LOL
that Necromancer guy is my most liked chararter alreaddy with the sacasme and now. he have gone nuts man i love him Ohh yeah I WANT MOAR
Seeing as how HiE will no longer be accepted on Fimfic, I look forward to this being good.
Jump out the fragging window!
Hah, that had me laughing a bit
Thank you author I love this chapter and have no complaints, in fact I find this highly hilarious!
Brilliant! Death by falling a large distance!
*denial
*anger
*skips bargaining
*probably depressed
*acceptance and decides to end it
Hes obsessed with jumping out windows... not that i blame him.
well he really likes windows doesnt he now
the necromancer has got to be one of the funniest characters i have ever read about
Quick, Rainbow save him with your random crash landings!
LOL
funny as hell :P
This is beautiful! Do Moar!!
You all realize that fate isn't done with him yet. Just to spite him, again, the ground is no more than a few feet below the window sill.
oh luna she just wants to be loved
my sides hurt, if you catch my drift
Well then.
I can see that he's still trying to get himself killed.
Robes are obviously a reflection of one's sexuality
...And that's where you cross from a jokester to a suicidal pers- wait, he is.
ha loved the star beneath thy tail joke
i think i get it now... five of my stories were updated just as i was about to go to sleep.
Oh god that hand! Never before have I laughed out loud while reading something, well done sir you are a genius do not stop writing. AND DO MORE CHAPTERS, NAO!
Out of curiosity, where did you get the joke of the sound of one hand clapping? Did it happen to involve monks?
2407236 there was a gif with a dog and a cat... basically the same idea, just altered it a bit
I can see Luna and Mr.Handy are going to get along so well.
So when can we expect a trolling of epic proportions from Luna? While it's a fact Celestia is the best at trolling, Luna should not be underestimated.
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the problem with the hand is it will be good at hiding... and will likely jump out to slap Luna when she least expects it
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Mr.Handy would never just slap Luna, that's just plain rude. If anything, her flank is unspanked yet and that must be corrected in a future chapter.
Celestia help the CMC if they go on one of their camp-outs and bring those two humans along. Spooky campfire stories are much worse when they're brought to [un]life. And I expect epic shenanigans when Nightmare Night rolls around... I'm calling it now; "Thriller" with dancing zomponies.
Referencing the old Adams Family TV program. We now meet Things many times
removed descendant. Luna had best watch where she sits over the next few days.
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i would pay to see that...
Oh my Celestia...
IT'S THING!!!!
He shall be named Pimpicus Slapicus the Goddess Slapper, aka the Ultimate Troll.
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What sound does a single pimp hand make? :3
im loving the necromancer
Equestria has just become hell for 65% of people