Two enemies wind up in Equestria due to a major mishap. Will they come to terms with this world? Most importantly, will they be able to put their old feud aside to survive?
Two enemies wind up in Equestria due to a major mishap. Will they come to terms with this world? Most importantly, will they be able to put their old feud aside to survive?
The Everfree forest was a dark and silent place at night. Every now and then, a soft rustle could be heard as a hunter passed in the dark or the wind gently shook the leaves. Apart from that, nothing broke the silence. Almost nothing.
In a small clearing in the depths of the old forest, something new was about to enter this world.
A thin line of light had formed a few feet above the ground, hovering there for a few short seconds before starting to grow with increasing speed. As the line grew into a gap, the wind around the opening started to roar violently, flattening the grass beneath the tear as the air was pushed outwards. Small lightning bolts started to dance on the tear's surface, singeing the grass around it when it struck ground.
As the gap grew wider, two screaming voices could be heard becoming louder and louder. Two figures were flung out of the gap, landing in the clearing with loud thuds. Just as quickly as the tear had appeared it vanished again in a moment, leaving the two heavily panting and groaning figures lying in the grass.
“Please tell me your dead...” the first of them said as he got up. He was clad in a black tunic and a long black mantle. The dark hair on his head had a few streaks of gray in them. They betrayed his young age.
“Black caster...” the other snarled as she stood up. She was covered in chain mail and white plates. Blond hair could be seen showing at the edges of her helm. In her right hand she held a longsword, on her left she held a large shield. “What trickery is this? What have you done?” she pointed the sword at him.
“What have I done?! You were the one storming into my lab and disrupting me in the middle of my work!” he pointed an accusing finger at her, “And that was very important research, mind you! For fuck's sake! You never cross the conjuration circle when said conjuration is in process! Don't they teach you paladins anything these days?”
She took a defensive stance behind her shield, “Don't you dare mock our order, lying snake!”
“And here we go with the names again!” he shouted at her, "Did you even think for one second when you stormed into my lab; 'Oh... maybe I should stay out of the fricking mana flow...' because, you know... the necromancer fucking tells you to!" he brought his hands to his temples, "What were you thinking?!"
She seemed slightly perplexed by his outburst but tightened the grip on he sword, “The high lord has bestowed upon me the duty to destroy all those who dwell in the shadows. You will be punished for your crimes!”
He gave her a look of sheer disbelief, “My crimes? Well check this out as I bring your little world crashing down; I committed no crimes! All of my research was performed on legally purchased and traded bodies and within the boundaries of the regional law!”
She hesitated at this, “What? But... you're a necromancer!”
“So? That's the sky, those are trees, plants grow, birds sing and bodies rot! The fact that I am a necromancer in itself doesn't give you any right to crash my labs! I admit it was funny the first three times, I even took the time to add some challenges for you. You know, doing the 'Oh you have destroyed my hold on this place but we will meet again!' and adding some traps for fun.”
“Wait, you set that up?”
“Of course I did! Did you really think talking doors would be something a real necromancer would actually install in his towers?”
“But... why?”
He shrugged, “Because it was fun. What else was I supposed to do? Had I grilled you the moment you set foot into my first tower, I'd have your whole order on my ass.”
“They don't actually know I'm following you...” she started to mumble.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa... are you telling me you're not a full paladin yet? I don't believe it! I've been stalked by a bloody conscript!" he wailed.
“I will be a full paladin once I defeat you and bring you in!” she shouted in anger at his mockery.
“Sure, Mengus the Lightbearer will certainly reward you for bringing in the head of another innocent. I hear he has quite the collection already.” he imitated a deep voice, "'What's this? Another innocent? Splendid! Put him up between those possessed orphan heads, he'll look lovely under all those unjustly decapitated witches! HAHAHA! It feels good to do the right!'" he gave her a look of disgust, "Seriously, do you even believe any of the shit they shovel down your throat?"
She started to chant, “By the light that shines from within us. By the faith that leads me I will...”
He threw his hands up in the air, “And she starts to pray! We've just been hurled across only hell knows how many dimensions and she starts to chant psalms!”
She continued her prayer as she prepared to charge at him, “The holy light will guide my sword and my faith will make it strong. I will not fail...”
“I give up.”
She stopped, perplexed, “What?”
“I give up. Tie me up, drag me off, whip me and burn me at the stake, if you want... but please... SHUT UP! I swear I'm going to throw up if you don't stop chanting that rubbish!”
---
“You're lost, aren't you?” She gave a groan as she pulled him on by the rope around his wrists, “Don't you have any of those fancy anti-magic cuffs? I mean, rope... seriously?” he tugged on the rope.
“Those are only for full pledged paladins.” she mumbled. They had been walking for hours now, her pulling him along by a long piece of rope while he constantly tried to make some kind of small talk. Much to her annoyance. One moment he'd spot a bug he found pretty, the next moment he was thirsty or needed to remove a pebble from his shoe.
“Ahh... that explains that.” he continued to follow her as she led the way through the undergrowth, “So...”
“What?” she whirled around to face him, her hairs clinging to her sweaty face, “You're not going to tell me you're hungry, are you?”
He looked at her in surprise for a moment before putting on a playful expression, “You know... I could use my 'MAGIC'...” he wiggled his fingers, “To find a way out of this forest.”
One of her hands went to her sheathed sword, “You, are a prisoner of the order of light. If you truly are as innocent as you state, you will follow me quietly and refrain from using your dark arts until a court of the order finds you innocent!” she snapped at him.
“What order?!” he shook his bound hands around frantically as he faced her, “We are in a different dimension! How long does it take you to get that in that thick skull of yours?! For all we know this world could be ruled by giant carrots!”
“You are my prisoner and I forbid you to use your black magic unless you want me to remove your head.” she stated another time before continuing to drag him along.
"This is ridiculous! How do you even know where you are going?" he protested behind her.
"It's simple, I just follow the northern constell..." she stopped in mid sentence, suddenly realizing something.
He guffawed at her, "You... you're kidding, right? Are you actually telling me that you're trying to follow the stars? In a different dimension? I'm starting to get the impression you're doing things like this on purpose..."
"Shut up, shut up, shut up..." she grumbled through grinding teeth.
"At least let me use my magic to..."
"I SAID NO MAGIC!" she screamed at him in anger.
---
“Burn them!” she shouted in frustration as she tried to free her sword from another wooden wolf while using her shield to fend off another.
“Oh, now you want me to use my forbidden magic? Has the paladin fallen so low she needs the black magic of a necromancer? My word, the dishonor!” he replied as he hung from a low branch, several wooden wolfs snapping at his feet.
“JUST USE YOUR DAMN MAGIC DAMN IT!”
There was a bright flash of light accompanied by the sound of searing flames and cracking wood as the air around her became so hot it almost burnt her skin. She could hear him chant a few words as the wooden wolfs around her were turned to ashes.
The heat quickly left as he stopped chanting and dropped to the ground again. The trees and grass surrounding him were charred and black, the bodies of the wooden wolfs had fared no better. “Well...” he huffed as black smoke started to rise from the charred vegetation, “That was interesting...” he saw her pick up the rope, “Oh, come on. Seriously? You know, you are, by far, the most condescending, self-righteous bi...”
---
On one of the highest balconies of the Canterlot castle, looking out far across the land and over the Everfree forest, two alicorns stood in silence. They had been in a conversation when flash of light from the woods had caught their attention. In their faces were mixed expressions of worry, anticipation and wonder.
"Do you also see smoke rising over the Everfree forest?" Luna asked with a perplexed voice. In the distance, a thin pillar of black smoke was slowly growing into the clear night sky.
"I do. As unsettling as that may be already, did you feel the surge of magic that preceded it?" Celestia replied.
"I did, it was tremendous... Do you think these two events are connected?"
"I would assume so... though I am unsure what could have caused something like this... Let us go see what is happening, I do not wish that something dangerous stalks so close to our subjects without us knowing."
The two alicorns set off into the air with a quick flap of their wings, heading towards the still growing pillar of smoke.
---
“MmmgmHmm.” he protested from behind.
“Can't understand you.” she replied with a smirk. She should have gagged him much earlier. The forest actually seemed much more peaceful now that he couldn't talk anymore.
“MmmmgGmmmGM.” his protesting became louder.
She stopped and turned around with a small sigh, “What is it this time? You don't have to pee again, do you?”
He shook his head, “MmmgmMMgHmm.”
She gave a groan, “This should better be damn important.” she removed the gag, “What is it?”
“Manticore.”
“Huh? What in the world are you...” a roar cut her off.
---
Five minutes later they were still being chased. “Can't you just burn it?!” she shouted in full run, her armor clanking like a can filled with pebbles.
“Is that your solution to everything?” he replied next to her as he tried to keep pace, “Fun aside, I'm all out of mana.”
“We need a plan!” she grit her teeth as another roar sounded behind them.
“Hit it with a stick, then run faster!” he replied with a laugh as they continued to dash through the night. For a moment, she felt like tripping him.
In their wild run for safety they failed to hear the two pairs of wings above them.
"I... I think we lost it..." the paladin gasped for air as she and the necromancer leaned against a tree.
"You think?" he muttered between ragged breaths, "Why didn't you use your sword? I always thought you paladins never run from a fight."
"That doesn't count. Did you see the size of that thing? 'Only a thin line runs between honor and folly, a paladin must always take care not to tread over it.'" she repeated the words with an even pace.
He gave her an unbelieving look, "You just cited a passage from one of those ridiculous tomes, didn't you?" she blushed lightly, "I don't believe it. Anyone with a decent common sense will be able to tell you that running is always an option."
"Stop mocking my order!" she gave him an evil glare, "For that matter... what kind of necromancer runs out of mana? You never ran out of mana when we fought before!" she pointed to several scorches on her plates, "I thought you could throw out destructive spells all day!"
"Don't tempt me to try..." he replied with a sinister look, "It's one thing to throw a few fireballs and lightning bolts at a fool in armor...." he saw her sneer, "But it's another to hold up a damn portal while...." he stopped, "Something is approaching..."
"Please not another manticore..." she whispered as she eyed her surrounding with unease.
"No... this is something very different..." he closed his eyes and concentrated for a moment. His eyes opened again and he looked into the night sky with a worried expression, "We're about to meet the deities of this world."
She gave him a bewildered look, "You mean gods?"
"That's one way to put it, but yes. They are heading this way as we speak."
"Impossible! The gods never tread their own worlds! It is a sacrilege to even talk of something like that. To think, that an immortal would actually walk among..." she was silenced as two creatures the likes of which she had never seen before descended from the sky and landed in front of them without a sound.
"You're right, they fly." he muttered as he observed them carefully. The two deities were looking at them with puzzled looks, seemingly shocked by their appearances. He could feel their power, and it worried him greatly. Deities were always difficult to negotiate with, especially those that were herbivores.
"They're magnificent!" she whispered in wonder.
"That's one way to put it..." he replied.
---
Celestia and Luna silently observed the two creatures before them. Never before had they seen the likes of them. There was a certain familiarity to minotaurs, but only on a few points. One of them was obviously a warrior, the heavy armor and weapon a clear indication of her profession. The other one... they couldn't quite place a finger on it, but there was something very odd about it. It weren't the black robes or the fact that its hands were bound together with a piece of rope, its presence simply felt... off.
The creatures were constantly passing the two princesses glances, one in wonder, the other with worry in its eyes. The alicorns could hear them argue, but the language was not one they recognized. It sounded hard and gruff, fast paced sounds escaping their mouths as they made small gestures with their hands.
When Celestia decided to take a step forward the creatures' reactions were immediate. The armored one immediately went down on one knee and bowed her head while saying a few unrecognizable words. The robed one had taken a step back and was giving its companion a disapproving look before muttering something under his breath.
"Greetings, I am Celestia, deity of the sun. This is my sister Luna, deity of the moon. Together we rule these lands. Tell us, what are you and why are you here?"
---
"I think she just asked us something..." he said quietly as the paladin got back up carefully.
"How do you know it's a female?"
"I don't see any balls..." he slightly tilted his head to shift his point of view, "Yeah, definitely female..."
"Can you understand her?"
"Not a word." he replied with a casual voice, "Let me try something..."
Before she could react he took a step toward the deity and started talking. Much to the surprise of all present, he constantly switched between languages.
"Urhas Thu Lum Fan?" he waited for a response, the white alicorn looked at him in confusion.
"RassatChoLem-Click-matabu?" again, only confused expressions.
---
Celestia and Luna listened to the robed one with fascination, it seemed it was trying to find a language they could understand. Judging by its voice they assumed it to be male. How a single creature could know so many languages was beyond them, he had been going on for minutes now while constantly switching between different speech patterns.
"Suron de Vlieu ma... And I swear I saw her take the biggest crap I ever saw out of that bull hole..." both of them took a step back in surprise, though it was more in shock at what he had said.
A small smile appeared on his lips, "Aha, finally! I was starting run out of..."
"You dare speak the language of the demons?!" Luna thundered at him with her royal voice, making him and his companion flinch.
He held up his hands, "Not a demon... just speak the language, don't run with them."
Celestia gave him a stern look, "Very well, we will hear what you say. What are you and how did you come here?" she looked at his hands, "For that matter, why are your hands bound?"
---
The paladin observed the conversation with concern, she doubted it was a good idea to let him talk to these gods. "Can you understand them? What are they saying?" she asked from behind.
He turned around to her and gave her a big grin as he held up two thumbs, "Don't worry, I totally got this!" he turned back around and continued his conversation.
She wasn't sure what it was he 'got', and as much as she could tell the two winged unicorns weren't so sure either. He was making wild gestures with his hands and constantly pointing at himself, at her, then at the sky and the ground. The more he talked the more doubt she could see in their faces. At the end the blue one was giving him a rather disgusted look while the white one only raised an eyebrow with a perplexed expression.
Before she could react the white one shook her head with a sigh and a bright light escaped her horn, blinding them and making her topple over.
"What was that?" she asked as she slowly came to her senses again.
"Spell of insight." he groaned next to her, "You have no idea how much that stings if you know more than a few languages already."
"I am sorry to have caused you discomfort, but it was necessary so we could talk with your companion." the paladin looked up at the white one in surprise as she heard her words, "He has been telling us some rather strange things..."
She cast him an accusing glare as she got up again, "What did you tell them?" he was still lying on his back and holding his head.
"He told us that you were a mutated frog than came from the earth to eat worms and flies, and that you wear that armor to hide the warts covering your back... He also remarked that you were severely lacking in qualities as a servant but could be purchased at a reasonable price, even though we strictly forbid slavery in these lands... When asked why his hands were bound he said that a terrible rash had befallen his... behind... and that he bound his hands so he couldn't scratch it... Needless to say we found these things hard to... would you please stop doing that?"
The paladin was currently trying to choke the necromancer with her bare hands, "It was just a joke!" he croaked beneath her.
---
"I take it he was not telling the truth then?" Celestia cast him an annoyed glare.
"He was not." the paladin bowed before the two alicorns, "I am Calindria Westwind, paladin of the order of light."
"A paladin? Tell us, what is the quest of your order?"
"We fight evil and corruption, to bring the holy light of creation and enlightenment to even the darkest corner of this world." the necromancer snickered at her words.
"And what about him?" she pointed to the necromancer, "Why are his hands bound?"
"He is my prisoner. He is guilty of practicing black magic and the dark arts of corruption. I am currently transporting him back to our order to see him trialed by our court... though I fear I have lost my way and have fallen into this world by accident."
"You're the accident if you ask me..." the necromancer mumbled before a tug on the rope silenced him.
Celestia turned to him with a stern gaze, "Is this true?"
He started to sweat slightly, "Well... that is a very difficult question as it holds several..."
"Do you, or do you not practice the art of black magic?" she asked with a voice like steel.
"... Maybe?" He tried to calm her, "Now, I know this may look strange to you, but let me assure you..."
"If you are truly are a caster of the black magic you will be considered a threat to the peace in this world until proven otherwise." she turned to Calindria, "We will transport you to our castle for further questioning. You are our guest, but I must ask you to relinquish your weapon. As for him..." she turned to the necromancer again, "You will placed under arrest until we determine the meaning of this situation. Should you be proven innocent of her accusations you will be set free, even if only under observation, but for the time being..."
---
He sat in the small dungeon, the rope still around his wrists. A single, small candle hung outside his cell, the light making the shadows of the bars dance in the darkness. From time to time a water drop could be heard, "I hate this place already..." he muttered as he sat in the dark, "Feels just like home."
He put his hands against one of the walls, raising an eyebrow as his fingers trailed the surface, "Interesting."
During his inspection of the stone walls, he had made a discovery that amused him greatly. He actually had a hard time to keep himself from laughing out loud. The ponies were either simply idiotic or careless to a dangerous degree. The paladin, he was certain already, was both.
The whole castle had been build using magic, and there was still a sizable deposit of it resting inside every brick. There were quite a few magic enchantments on the cell itself, but nothing to prevent him from messing with them or the magical residue inside the walls... Did they really think him so little a threat? Or was it a test... to see what he would do?
As he thought about these things a sudden realization hit him, they didn't know... they simply didn't know what a necromancer was. He would have expected a fully pledged paladin to bear this factor in mind, but the young paladin was probably still too inexperienced to consider the full extent of his abilities. Any normal magic user would have a problem to cast even a simple spell within the cell, simply due to the fact that the enchantments wouldn't allow the caster to pull mana from his own reserves... but he didn't need to.
He was a necromancer, and if there was one thing necromancers were good at, it was the art of leeching and alteration. Whether it was life force or mana, if it was there he could make it his own or change it to his desires... by force too if it was required. It made no difference if it was being held by blood or stone. He could use it. Why he hadn't thought of this in the forest already was a mystery in itself.
He put his hands on the surface of the floor and concentrated. The flow of mana was slow at first, almost resisting his urges to move after decades of resting in the stone. Ever so slowly though, the flow started to increase its pace and he could feel the enchantments growing weaker and weaker. The sheer abundance of magic in the walls served to surprise him. He had to be careful not to take too much or he would overstrain his body.
While the magic continued to flow into him he wondered what he would do first... He could search for the paladin and pelt her with a few lightning bolts for fun. Or he could make an effort to get as far away from this place as possible. Then again, he could also use the time to do some research...
---
"Your gods never show themselves?" Luna asked in wonder, "Then how do you know they are there? How do you know your prayers are heard?"
"The gods test our faith constantly." the paladin replied firmly, "But our faith is ever lasting. Hope and belief is all we require to perform our holy duties."
Celestia smiled briefly at her words while she sipped from her cup of tea. The paladin's devotion to her cause was commendable, even if it was a little too frantic for her liking. They had been listening to the story of her order and her world. It seemed fascinating for such a world to exist, but it was also troubling to see how easily they accepted the violent aspects of their life. War, death and famine... these things seemed to be a daily occurrence to the paladin, and it saddened Celestia to think of all those that suffered such a fate.
"Tell me..." Celestia started, "Do you know what caused your appearance here?"
The paladin shook her head as she tried to sip from her own cup as delicately as possible, "I do not. I fear that the necromancer made a mistake in his spell that inadvertently transported us to this world."
"There is that term again." Luna cast her a questioning gaze, "We have not heard of a cast that is referred to by this name. Tell us, what is a necromancer?"
Calindria put down her cup of tea, "We know only little of them... but they are wielders of the dark arts and as such pose a threat to any form of order or life."
Celestia raised an eyebrow, "And what crimes of his have you witnessed or hold proof of?"
The paladin frowned, "Actually, I've never seen him perform necromancy before. He always seemed content with throwing fireballs at my face."
"And you never questioned if he may be innocent of your order's accusations?" Celestia asked with wonder.
Calindria shifted nervously, "I have not... but it is not my duty to question the order's principles. To us, he is a threat that must be removed."
"I see..." Celestia said, "But know this, as long as he has committed no crimes in this world he cannot be prosecuted by us. We may hold him as long as we consider him a threat or you find a way to return to your home, but that is all."
"I understand." the paladin bowed her head.
"I am still curious about this cast of his." Luna remarked, "Tell us, what abilities do the arts of necromancy entail."
Calindria put a hand to her chin, trying to remember what stories the tomes of her order had told.
---
"Excuse me, young mare. I am searching for records of the star movements as well as any maps of the star constellations your fine library might hold."
The librarian of the Canterlot library didn't pause her work to look up, "Section three to four... do you have a library pass?"
"I am afraid I do not... Is it required to view the material?"
The voice sounded strange to her. She didn't notice the large shadow above her, "Only if you wish to lend something. Would you like me to make you one? It is only a formality and free of..." she looked up and her pupils dilated visibly, "... charge." She was staring at the strangest face she had ever seen.
The large figure smiled warmly, "If it is free of charge I would be overjoyed to have one. Tell me... do you also have a section with information on this lovely country as well its history?"
The librarian replied more by habit than by free will, "Section five..." she whispered.
"Beautiful... now..." he said with a evil smirk, making her shudder before he broke out into a big grin, "About that library pass, is there a form or do I just sign something?"
She meekly pulled out a sheet of paper, "Fill out this form... then return it to me..." she paused, "You're not a pony."
He bent down and carefully took the form from her grip, "I am not."
"What are you?" she asked perplexed as she watched him handle the quill with his hands.
"I'm a mutated frog, of course."
"Oh... did Twilight Sparkle mess up another spell?"
---
"Raising the dead, both in spirit and body... Summoning and commanding demons... Mastering destructive and corrupting magic..." Celestia summarized the paladin's words with unease, "That is indeed troubling..."
"And it is only the peak of it all..." Calindria replied, "It is said they can also cause plagues and natural disasters, and they are widely known for their capabilities in the arts of alchemy and alteration."
"Yes, but as terrible as these things are, it is not what worries me the most..." Celestia replied slightly nervous, "Tell us about this art of leeching again."
The paladin raised an eyebrow, "In battle, necromancers can draw energy and life from their surrounding to use it for their own purposes. This makes them extremely unpredictable enemies in combat." a flash of unease passed the two alicorns' faces, "Is something wrong?"
"Tell us, young paladin." Luna said with concern, "When you say they can draw energy from their surroundings... does this also entail magical energy?"
She raised an eyebrow, "It does, as long as there is magic in their surroundings they can draw from it. There are even rumors that they can suck the magic from enchantments and others spells as well." she saw their faces drop, "Is there something I should worry about?"
"This whole castle..." Celestia replied nervously, "Was build with magic."
Calindria stared at them for a moment, "That... That may actually be something we should worry about... a lot."
Before the discussion could go any further, there was shout from outside, "Halt! State your..."
"No time!" a voice all of them recognized bellowed, "I have to go shout at someone!" there was a loud zap accompanied by two yelps.
The doors to the room were thrown open, and the necromancer stepped inside in full stride. Under his arm, he held numerous books and scrolls. His other hand was still glowing slightly. Behind him, they could see two dumbfounded-looking frogs sit on their former armors.
Celestia was about to say something, but he cut her off immediately, "Me first! I have a few things to say before you go and throw me back in my dungeon if that's alright with you." Celestia nodded slightly. He heard a croak behind him as several more frogs started to hop towards the doors, "Don't worry about them, it'll only last a few minutes."
"What are you..." the paladin started to get up.
"Sit! Or so help me I will put a hole in that armor of yours." he thundered at her, making the mana crack around him and her sit down again. In all the years she had hunted him she had never seen him in such a mood. The two princesses merely watched him in shock as he stepped towards the table and dumped his scrolls upon it.
"Now..." he started but froze for a moment to stare at the tea cups, "Were you actually having tea while I rotted in that dungeon cell?" the paladin smiled nervously, "Just lovely..." he turned to the princesses, "And she has probably spent her time telling you of all those horrible things I have done."
"She has..." Luna replied, "But..."
"No buts! Still me talking!" he snapped at her, "Now, where was I... Ahh, yes. While you were up here drinking tea, I took the liberty of visiting your royal library."
"You went to the library?" Celestia asked with new worry in her voice, "Did you..."
"Didn't hurt a soul on my way." he finished her sentence, "There was a very nice young mare there more than eager to show me everything." he held up a little card, "I even got myself a library pass so I wouldn't break any laws."
Celestia gave him a questioning look, "And your escape from the dungeon?"
"First, I didn't commit any crimes in your world yet so I was being held without reason. Second, I got bored. Third, don't place a necromancer in a cell made with magic." he sneered at her.
"I will not." Celestia replied with a slightly sour voice.
"Good. Now, as I said. While you were having a good time..." he cast the paladin an accusing glare, "I was doing research."
Celestia used her magic to pick up one of the scrolls, "These are maps showing the star movements..."
"Exactly!" he said with a strange glee in his voice, "To open portals across different dimensions, a very special alignment of the stars is required. I checked all of your records to find out when I could return to my own world... and do you know when that will be the case?" there was a strange twitch to one of his eyes.
"When?" the paladin replied with unease. His expression reminded her of a madman.
"Never!" he threw his hands in the air and struck a pose as a huge grin found its way to his face, "We can never return to our own world!"
There was a moment of silence as he let the words sink in. He continued, "So that means, I am stuck here. In the wonderful, colorful and magical lands of talking ponies!" he gave off a maniacal laugh.
He pointed a finger at the alicorns, "I am stuck here with the deities of the sun and the moon, and I'm probably going to spend a thousand years on the latter for being what I am. Don't act so surprised princesses, I took the time to read up on you two as well."
He pointed his finger at the open-mouthed paladin next, "And of all persons to be stuck with, I get YOU! The one person that has been pestering me for years and that already marked me as a criminal the moment I set foot into this world. Not to forget that you're the one responsible for this whole mess."
He made a half turn and walked towards an open window, "So... I'm stuck here. An eternal prisoner to two tea-drinking, pony deities and a half-pledged, self-righteous, irresponsible and insufferably stupid conscript." his voice was constantly getting more maniacal, "And to top things off... There is no alcohol, nothing to smoke, no meat and the inhabitants of this world are more than unwilling to sell me any dead bodies for my research."
He gave off another laugh, "But it's okay, it's alright. To hell with my research and my peace! What's an eternity in a land of harmony if you can't enjoy it?!" he held up a finger, "But I have plan! There's a simple solution to this whole nightmare!"
"You do?" Celestia asked with concern. Something about his voice told her that nothing was alright, and he had already stepped dangerously close to open window.
"I do! It's simply ingenious!" he pointed a thumb behind him with a crazed smile, "I'm going to jump out that window."
"Hey! Let go of me this instance!" he complained as Celestia held him in her magic grasp, "I demand the right of a proper fall to my death!" To the side, the paladin gave off a deep breath of relief... and startled herself, why had his jump for the windows shocked her so much?
"Why do you value your own life so little?" Celestia asked with a motherly voice.
"I would rather die than spend another thousand years alone!" he snarled at her and once more tried to struggle in her grasp.
"Another thousand years?" Celestia asked with surprise, "What do you mean by that?"
He blinked at her, realizing what he had just said. For a moment he simply started at her, but then, "Nope... gotta jump out that window!" he started to make swimming motions in her hold, "I'm not going back to that dungeon!"
"We have yet to decide on that matter..." Celestia said, "Now please hold still while my sister and I try to assess your case."
For a moment he did not understand what they intended, but the second he felt the slight tug on his mind he understood. They were trying to see into his mind... This would not do. Not while he still carried his title. He closed his eyes and concentrated. He wouldn't be able to keep them out by force, but maybe he would be able to distract them enough so they would lose their focus.
Unknown to the paladin, a battle of minds was about to take place.
---
"This is... certainly unexpected." Luna looked around herself puzzled. Upon entering the necromancer's mind, she and her sister had found themselves in a seemingly endless, empty and white space. "Do you think this is a defensive mechanism?"
"It would seem so, let us be careful. I do not wish to run into any unexpected tr..." her words were cut off as she turned around and walked face-first into a wooden door.
"Where did this come from?" Luna asked as Celestia rubbed her nose, "It certainly wasn't here a moment... Look!" she called out with excitement, "There's a little sign on it."
Celestia did a double check on the door. Just like her sister had said, there was a little sign attached to the door. Blank at first, letters suddenly started to appear on the sign, "Thought I wasn't there before? Suddenly door!" the words hovered there for a moment before disappearing again. New letters started to appear, "I'm a door."
Luna raised an eyebrow, "Is he mocking us? Does he really think such a little barrier could hold us out?" she started to pull on the door with her magic. To her surprise, the door didn't budge. Luna let an irritated snort escape her nose before trying to open it again, "Why... can't I open it? Nothing should possess that kind of willpower!"
Celestia observed her for a moment, "Wait for a moment, Luna." she stepped up to the door and inspected it carefully, "Amazing..." she whispered.
"What?"
"You have been fighting yourself..." Celestia replied with the tiniest of smiles, "The door is powered by your own magic... So this is the art of leeching."
On the sign, new words appeared, "No it's not. Try to open it again, it'll totally work!"
"He mocks us!" Luna's magic flared up in anger, but Celestia calmed her.
"Stay calm... Concentrate... cut him off from your magic first. Then we shall try again."
"Oh boy... Can't we talk about this?"
"I am afraid we need to see this for ourselves to be sure." Celestia replied, "Sister, are you ready?"
Luna gave the door a sinister look, "I am."
Both of them charged up their magic and pulled on the door. For a moment it hesitated, but then it gave way, opening to reveal... nothing. There was nothing behind it, it led nowhere. To all observers, it was nothing more than an open door standing in endless white plain. New letters started to appear on the door, "Wrong door... try again."
Luna was about to slam the door shut in frustration when her sister stopped her, "Look closer... do not let yourself be fooled so easily. Look up there, at the top of the door frame."
Luna squinted her eyes, making out dozens of tiny rings fixed to the top board of the frame. Beneath them, little folds ran through the white. "What are..." she stopped as she recognized what she was looking at, "Those are curtains! It's nothing more than a simple trick!"
"Very good, now let us see what a mind such as his looks like." Celestia said with a smile as she grabbed the curtain and pulled it aside with an quick motion. Behind the curtains, an old stallion sat in a bathtub. The moment he saw them he gave off a surprised shriek, "Enough with the illusions..." Celestia muttered with a stern voice as she stepped through the door, closely followed by her blushing sister.
When they had stepped through the door, the two alicorns found themselves in a dark void. All around them pictures and small windows with moving images swirled past. Memories, thoughts... everything a mind could hold was present. Celestia grabbed one of the windows and pulled it close, looking into the memory it held. "Let us see now, who we are dealing with..."
The two alicorns watched as the memory came to life. There was the castle, they could see everything from his point of view. How he walked down one of the hallways.. how he had approached the doors leading to the room... how the necromancer came running around a corner and straight towards him and... The two sisters took a startled step back.
"What in the world?" Celestia asked with surprise, "How could he see himself? That's not possible..." her face deadpanned, "Luna..." she said with a quiet voice.
"Yes, sister?"
"Do you realize where we are?"
"Even though I cannot explain myself how this could have happened... it seems we are in the mind of one of our guards..."
---
The paladin watched in surprise as both the princesses and the necromancer opened their eyes again. While the two alicorns seemed slightly angered, he wore the biggest grin she had ever seen. "Alright!" he put his hands behind his head, "First round goes to me. What do you say? Two out of three?" he looked at Luna, "You're pretty easily fooled for someone who is said to be so wise..."
"You still mock us?" Luna said with anger in her voice.
"When it comes to sheer force you are pretty powerful, I'll give you that. But that's about it. You do realize, that I can send you around a grand tour of all the castle guards' minds?"
Celestia took a step towards him and looked him in the eyes, "Why are you keeping us out of your mind? We only wish to see if you are a threat to this world or not. If anything, your acts only make it seem more likely that you are guilty of the crimes the paladin's order accuses you of."
He gave her a contemplating look, "We humans really don't like it when others mess with our heads. So... no. Not going to happen. My magic will stay my magic. Now please, do me a favor and just chuck me out that window."
Celestia narrowed her eyes, "We are not killing you!" she thought for a moment, "What if you lead us?"
He raised an eyebrow, "What?"
"We will let you lead us through your memories. That way, your magical knowledge will remain safe, and we can see for ourselves if you are a threat or not."
He gave a laugh, "And what, dear princess would I have to show you?"
"Everything concerning Calindria, her order and their hunt for you. Also, the events leading to your appearance here as well as everything from that point on." he seemed about to protest, "Or... we can stay here and continue to play these games until we find a way around your defenses. And I believe we have more time than you do."
"You would be surprised..." He seemed to contemplate her words before letting out a sigh, "Very well, but nothing else."
The three of them closed their eyes again and concentrated once more. This time, the two alicorns found themselves in another place. All around them, a seemingly endless amount of images whirled around like a whirlwind. The mind of the guard was nothing compared to the sheer volume of memories and knowledge in this place. "Let us see..." they could hear his voice, "Where do I begin..."
---
When the three of them opened their eyes again the paladin was more than eager to find out what they had learned. "So?" she asked with suspense, "What did you find out?"
Celestia put the necromancer down with a small smile, "For one, he is innocent of your accusations." the paladin's mouth fell open, "And there is something very interesting concerning you..." the necromancer gave her a worried look. She turned to the paladin, "Did you know that he saved your life?"
"What?!" the paladin asked with a baffled face before turning to the necromancer.
"I don't know what they're talking about... you're probably just seeing things..." he tried to act uninterested.
"When the portal spell you disrupted grabbed a hold of the both of you, he used a main part of his magic to ensure your safety. Without his help, you would have been lost." she turned to necromancer, "That was very kind of you."
He gave them a disapproving look, he had hoped that this detail would pass their attention. He saw the paladin's unbelieving face, "Don't look at me like that... I didn't do anything."
"You saved my life?" the paladin watched him with wonder, "Why did you..."
"You know what?" he crossed his arms, "I just made up my mind..." he turned to the window, "I'm gonna jump anyway."
"I had thought we had passed this phase..." Celestia said with a frown as she held him in her aura once more, "There is no need for you to fear us. You'll find this world is more than welcoming for new friends."
"I never agreed to anything, and I don't want new friends..." the necromancer grumbled as he flailed in the air, "I just want my peace."
Celestia shook her head with a sigh, "Such stubbornness in one so young... Luna, please hold him for a moment while I talk with the paladin in private."
Luna gave her a questioning look but took hold of the necromancer nonetheless. She held him up before herself while Celestia beckoned Calindria to follow her into another room. "Hey..." he greeted her with a calm voice as he floated before her, "You gonna let me down?"
"Depends..." Luna replied with the tiniest of smiles, "Are you still planning to jump out that window?" She was enjoying handling him like this, it helped to sooth her hurt pride after the incident in his mind.
"Maybe."
"Then I have no choice but to keep on holding you."
There was a strange moment of silence as the two observed one another. Slowly, he started to turn in the air. For a moment he looked confused, but then his eyes fixed her horn, "You're doing this on purpose..." he said with an annoyed voice.
"Maybe." she replied with a small smirk.
"Well stop it, or I'm going to throw up."
She stopped turning him. Again, the two observed one another in silence. It actually served to make her feel uncomfortable. Whatever was Celestia doing with the paladin? After another minute of silent staring, Luna thought about making an attempt at small talk.
He had shown them many interesting things and she wished to find out a bit more about his capabilities. A lot more, actually. She was keen to learn how he could have fooled her so easily. But where to start? She looked at him for another moment, trying to come up with a subject.
"You have nice robes." she commented with a strange tone.
He raised an eyebrow, "What?"
"Your robes..." she said feeling like a fool immediately, "They're nice?" At least she had gotten a response from him.
He observed her with a scrutinizing look and his eyes narrowed in suspicion, "Are you coming on to me?"
---
"Princess, I must ask this..." the paladin seemed nervous, "Is he really innocent?"
"He is." Celestia replied.
"It just seems so strange... I mean, he is a user of the black arts, even a master of them if the rumors are correct..." she shook her head in wonder, "Why would he save me? Of all the people?"
"I do not know." Celestia replied with a motherly voice, "But even though he has done his best to hide it, he is far from uncaring." a moment of sadness passed her features, "And he is sad... so sad it makes me wonder what could have caused him to become this way."
Celestia shook her head, "He is not a threat unless threatened himself, so much I am sure of. But his mind, I fear is very volatile. If anything, he is a threat to himself. He will need time to adjust to this situation, and someone to watch over him while he does." she turned to the paladin, "I cannot do this on my own, and we certainly can't keep him in the castle as much as I wish..." she chuckled, "I fear there are too many windows here. So that only leaves you."
Calindria made a surprised face, "Me? Watch him? I don't know if you noticed princess, but he pretty much hates my guts." she said with a guilty face. To find out he was innocent after all the years spent hunting him... all those fights with him... it had been a shock for her. Not as much a shock as finding out he had saved her though, but still a shock. "I can already hear him yelling at me... I can't even blame him after all those years..."
"And still, he saved you." Celestia replied with a smile.
---
"What?!" Luna nearly shouted in anger, "How could you even imply such a thing? I am a princess and deity of the moon! I would never..." her cheeks started to burn in a bright red as an unthinkable picture started to form in her mind, "If anything, I strive to act as paragon of virtue for our subjects!"
"Don't act so high and mighty!" he pointed an accusing finger at her, "I can see you blush from here! Don't you have a sense of decency? I admit, I'd rather put my dick in a can of boiling water before putting it in that paladin, but seriously... just because we're the only two of our kind here... you can't possibly think I'm that desperate! Or are you in heat?"
"You dare say such things in my presence!" she snarled at him in rage, but quickly tried to compose herself. She narrowed her eyes as she talked to him with a serious voice, "I would never stand for something as lewd as this. I merely tried to offer a nice compliment... It is demanded that a pony of my status always shows she understands the essentials of good manners."
"Good manners?... Your status?" he made an amused face, "Well let me tell you something, princess. Even you, even as the deity of the moon, are a mare." Luna's flush started to return. He leaned forward slightly and started making gestures to accompany his words, "And under that tail of yours, there's a little star, and beneath that little star..." his hands trailed through the air as he tried to mimic the shape with a smirk, "There's a big, fat, long cu..."
---
"So, in order to ensure he has a chance to adapt to this situation and to keep his thoughts away from high windows, I am sending the necromancer to a little town called Ponyville. I will place him under your supervision during this time. There is a small house on its edge, perfect for the two of you. Will you accept this request of mine?"
The paladin shifted nervously, "I'm not sure, princess... Are you really certain he is fit to walk among your subjects? He is extremely easy to anger and even quicker to anger others."
"That's why I am having you survey him. Make sure he is not placed in a position where he might act carelessly. Rest assured though, Ponyville is a peaceful place with kind ponies. One of my students lives there as well, she will certainly be happy to help you in any ways required. I am sure you will do just fine." she chuckled lightly, "I even think he was able to impress Luna with his skills, even though she would never admit it. He has probably already found a friend in her without..."
Their conversation was cut short as an explosion shook the castle walls.
---
When they rushed back into the room where they had left Luna and the necromancer, the smoke was slowly starting to settle. When it had cleared, they saw Luna blazing with magic and anger, and the necromancer sprawled out in a small crater on the floor. A little cloud of smoke escaped his mouth as he gave a groan, "Totally worth it."
"This is ridiculous..." he muttered as he looked outside the train window.
"Cheer up, it could be worse." she replied from her seat opposite of him.
He sneered at her, "Really? I'm stuck in magical pony land for eternity and under your supervision at that. Tell me, dear paladin, how could things be worse?"
"You're not inside a dungeon for one thing, and you're alive... though I'm still surprised how you're still walking after that blast."
He shrugged, "Pfff... magical pony princess inside a magical castle. There's so much magic in that place she could have blasted me all day..."
"I'll remind her of that the next time we see her."
"Don't you dare."
There was another moment of silence as the scenery passed on outside. Except for the two of them, there was not a soul in the train at this time of night.
"So..." he started, "How is this going to go?"
She checked the letter princess Celestia had given her, "Well... according to this, we're going to be picked up at Ponyville station by one of her students. A unicorn named Twilight Sparkle..."
He gave a laugh, "Ponyville? Twilight Sparkle? Seriously, what the hell is it with these names? How do they expect anyone to take them serious like that?"
"Their world, their traditions. Just run along." she replied with a sigh.
"And you're not at all disturbed by this?"
"I could be, but my training has taught me to be reasonable and calm in every thinkable situation." she said with pride.
His eyes narrowed, "I remember you screaming profanities in my tower like a drunken wench in a pub."
She glared at him, "It was your fault! How did you even come up with flying and shitting asses? It took me weeks to get that smell out of my armor!"
A smile flashed across his lips, "Those were glorious, mind you. One of my finest creations! Do you know how much magic it takes to create shit without a stomach to process food?"
She made a face, "I don't even want to know."
He gave a sigh, "I miss Tobie..." she shuddered, "Did you really have to put a sword through his eye? He was so adorable!"
"He was a giant, stinking pile of meat..."
"With lots of cocks!" he cackled in glee, "I still remember the flapping sounds he would make whenever he would slump through the corridors..."
"It was disgusting."
"It was ingenious." he smiled at her.
She raised an eyebrow, "Sometimes, I don't even know if you're playing with me or if you're just plain mad."
A spark could be seen passing behind his eyes, "How much longer till we're in Ponyville?"
The paladin gave him an uncertain look, "Another hour, I guess. Why? You're not going to jump out of the window, are you?"
He clapped his hands, "Far from it. If I have some time on my hands, I might as well do some work."
"What in the world are you talking..." she stopped as he pulled something out from his robes, "Is that a hand?"
"It is." he said with joy as he held it up, "Got it from a corpse just before we came here. Isn't it lovely?"
"I think I can see maggots..." she replied in disgust before giving him a distrustful look, "Must I remind you that you are still under my supervision?"
"Don't get all fussy..." he laughed, "It's not like you haven't seen worse."
"I'm more worried about what you plan on doing with that."
"Don't worry, I'm just making myself an assistant." he said with a small smile as he began to chant softly.
Calindria watched him with both concern and interest. She had never actually seen him perform this kind of magic, but at the same time she was worried what he was planning. She was about to protest, but her interest turned into wonder as she saw the dried and shriveled hand start to regenerate.
"There..." he said between chants, "Good as new. Now... for the finishing touch..."
Before the paladin's startled eyes, the hand suddenly came to life. Twitching for a moment before standing on its fingers like a bug. It turned to the necromancer and wiggled its wrist in joy, like a dog greeting its master.
"Who's daddy's favorite little hand?" he cooed as he petted the hand. It shivered in joy, "Yes you are! Yes you are!" he cackled maniacally.
"I don't believe it..." she said, "You really are crazy..." the hand showed her a finger.
"Don't you listen to her, you're perfect!" he continued to pet it.
"That's how easy it is? You just chant a few words and it gets alive?" she asked baffled, "I thought you'd have to do some kind of crazy and bloody ritual?"
"It's not that easy, mind you. It takes years of practice and learning to do something as complicated as this, and it's much more than a simple raising I've done." he replied with a proud voice as he tickled the hand's palm, "Only amateurs need rituals, and the blood is mainly for show. Now..." Before she could even react he simply pulled down the window and tossed the hand into the night, "Out you go! Have fun!" he waved after it before closing the window again with a happy smile.
For a moment, she just sat there, not able to comprehend what he had just done. The next moment, she was at his throat, "What did you do?!"
"I've sent my assistant on a messenger run." he replied calmly, "I'm guessing he will be in Canterlot within an hour."
"So help me the light, if you don't tell me what you're up too I'll gut you right here!" she snarled at him, "What are you planning, black tongue?!" she held him by them hem of his robes.
His face became hard, and a mischievous smile crept across his face, "I don't like the tone of your voice, young lady... Let's find you something... more fitting." his hands flared up with magic.
---
Luna and Celestia sat inside the dining room in utter silence, Luna still trying to calm down and Celestia trying to remain calm.
"Do you wish to talk about it?" Celestia offered.
Luna huffed as a flush spread over her cheeks, "I don't even want to think about that insufferable necromancer and the things he said to me!"
"Was it that bad?"
She held her head up in defiance, "I don't want to talk about it."
Out of their view, something crawled inside through one of the windows.
Celestia gave a sigh, "Please keep in mind, this situation is stressful for the two of them. I'm sure he did not mean to insult you, maybe it's even customary in their..." she was interrupted by a clatter as something hopped onto the table.
The two alicorns watched in surprise and fascination as a hand started to walk over the table towards them on fingertips.
"What in the world is this?" Luna muttered with big eyes, "Is this another one of the necromancer's attempts to mock us?"
"It carries his magic..." Celestia said as she mustered it carefully, "I am curious to see what this is."
The hand stopped on the table in front of them. For a moment, it just sat there but then, it started to hover. The alicorns watched in wonder as a quill and a peace of parchment appeared from the air in front of it with a puff, and the hand started to write on it frantically while being suspended in mid air. When it was done, it handed the parchment to Luna before setting on the table again.
Luna started to read out loud, "To the dear alicorn sisters. This little hand is a token of my gratitude for your hospitality and will keep you entertained during your so strenuous chores. It will entertain you with riddles unlike any other you have seen before. With kind regards, the necromancer."
Luna raised an eyebrow, "I knew it... he is trying to mock me again! But I will not lose my temper again, let us see the riddles he thinks I cannot solve!" she read the last line, "What sound does a single hand make when it claps?" the hand started to twitch.
She turned to Celestia, "That really isn't a riddle at all, is it?"
"Careful, sister. There may be more to this riddle than meets the eyes." Celestia replied with care. She eyed the hand with worry, it looked like it was about to jump...
Luna bent down to the hand, "A single hand cannot clap since it has no other to hit. Therefore, it makes no sound." she said with pride in her voice. The hand however, shook a finger in a way that showed that the answer was wrong.
"I am wrong? Well then, since you are a single hand do show me what sound a single hand would make when it..."
She was interrupted in her words as the hand simply sprang into the air and slapped her across her face, a loud smack sounding through the dining room as flesh struck flesh.
When the hand landed, it took off in wild a sprint, fingers rushing over the floor like a mad spider as Luna gave chase with a shout of rage.
Celestia gave a sigh as she watched her chase after the hand, she hoped that the paladin was faring better than her sister at containing her temper. She had to give the necromancer credit though, in all the time she had known her sister, no one had ever been able to make her lose her temper so quickly.
---
Twilight Sparkle watched the train enter the station with high expectations. Even though it was the middle of the night, the princess' letter had gotten her wide awake. Two members of a new species had appeared in Equestria, one of them even a magic user, a skilled one at that if Celestia's words were correct. On top, Celestia had written her that he used a magic unheard of in Equestria. Twilight already wondered what new secrets she could learn.
The unicorns of Ponyville rarely practiced advanced magic, so it would be more than welcome to converse with someone on her level for once. The things they could discuss... she wondered what his thoughts on Star Swirl's theory on magical flux confluence would be.
The train came to a halt, and Twilight could hear voices come from inside one of the carts.
"I think it suits you perfectly, really! Totally captures your inner beinOUCH! Don't use the gauntlet! ARGH!"
"BAAAAHH!" Twilight took a step back, was there a goat inside the cart?
"I'm telling you, it'll go back in a few minutes! Just walk it off!"
"BAAAAHH!" there was that sound again.
"Ouch! I get it, I get it! No more magic for today! Alright, already! Stop it with the beating! I just couldn't help myself!" the voice chuckled between yelps of pain.
For a moment, there was silence. Then, one of the cart doors started to open. Twilight took a step forward to greet the newcomers with a big smile, "Welcome to Ponyville! I'm..." the rest of her words never made it out as she saw a strange creature step out of the cart.
It wasn't the armor, not even the sword or the fingers that unnerved her, minotaurs had fingers too, after all. No, what really startled her was that under strands of blond hair, the creature had the face of a goat.
For a moment, the two simply stared at one another. The creature opened its mouth, "BAAAAHH!" Twilight flinched and took a step back. This wasn't what she had been expecting. The letter had clearly said they could talk.
Another figure stepped out of the train behind the goat-faced creature, a big smile on a very differently shaped face, "I never get tired of that lovely sound." the other one passed him an angry glare, but he ignored it and addressed Twilight instead, "What do you say? I think it suits her rather well, don't you think?"
He was rewarded with another slap from the paladin's gauntlet to the back of his head.
"That was... strange..." Twilight said with a flustered voice.
"You tell me." the paladin replied. Her face still hadn't returned completely back to its original shape, but at least she could talk again. She was still picking hairs out of her teeth though. She gave the necromancer an evil glare, "If you ever do something like that again..."
"Don't step on my toes..." he replied with an amused grin.
"Was that a spell?" Twilight asked with excitement, "Can you show me how to do that? I've never seen a partial transformation like that before!"
The paladin cast her an incredulous look, "Why would you want to learn something like that?"
Twilight blushed, "It's just... I have the chance to learn a completely new field of magic! Think of all the possibilities! This could be the discovery of the century!"
The necromancer snickered, "I can see the headlines now, 'Paladin looks like goat, no one was surprised.'" Calindria felt tempted to slap him again.
"Not that! I mean your magic!" Twilight replied slightly irritated.
"Suuure..." he replied with a casual voice. All hell would freeze over before he'd teach her any of his magic, but she'd find out this fact herself eventually. "So... who are you again?"
"Oh, of course! I am Twilight Sparkle, librarian of Ponyville and student of princess Celestia."
The paladin gave a short bow, "I am Calindria Westwind, paladin of the order of light. It is an honor to meet you, Twilight Sparkle." the unicorn blushed at the paladin's courtesy.
Twilight turned to the necromancer, an expectant look on face.
He returned her stare for a moment, "What?"
"Show some manners, man. Introduce yourself." the paladin commented with a sour voice.
He gave her an annoyed look before turning back to Twilight. "I'm the necromancer." he stated flatly.
Twilight tilted her head, "Don't you have a name?"
"I do."
"And?" she asked inquiringly.
He turned to the paladin, "I don't get her."
"Don't play dumber than you are." she replied, "Tell us your name already."
"Wait... You don't know my name?!" he gave her an unbelieving look, "You've been hunting me for all those years and you never took the time to at least learn my bloody name?"
The paladin shifted nervously, "It's not like I had time to ask you..."
"It was written on the bloody door!" he exclaimed and waved his hands in the air, "Seriously, didn't you ever read the signs I put up? How did you even know it wasn't some poor farmer family's house you were storming into?"
"Because farmers don't live in towers decorated with bones and skulls! And I stopped reading those damn signs after realizing you just scribbled profanities on them to anger me!" she snarled back.
He scratched his chin, "I always wondered why those didn't slow you down anymore..."
"Excuse me?" they looked down to see Twilight give them a wondering look, "Why did she chase you?"
"Long story short, it's complicated." he replied with an uncaring voice.
"So... would you like to tell us your name?"
"I am Wouldyoutakacraponme." he said quickly,
"Would you take a crap on me?" Twilight tried to repeat his words carefully. She only realized what he had done when she heard the paladin give an annoyed groan and the necromancer's face light up in a big grin. "That wasn't nice." she said with a sour voice.
"It was hilarious." he said, barely holding his laughter, "But fun aside I'm not going to tell you my name."
She tilted her head, "Why wouldn't you? We're all friends here."
He raised an eyebrow, "First, why would I?" he pointed to the paladin, "Second, I'm not her friend, I'm her prisoner."
Twilight turned to Calindria, "He's your prisoner?"
The paladin gave a long sigh, "He's not my prisoner, the princess just ordered me to keep an eye on him. Let's just move on to that house she told us about, we'll figure out mister Anonymous here later."
---
There was a clatter as Luna pushed aside another shelf and caused several plates to shatter in the motion. The whole royal kitchen was a mess, tables and shelves alike had been turned over and searched. Much to Luna's annoyance, she still hadn't found the hand, but it was here somewhere she knew.
Celestia walked into the kitchen to see Luna rummage frantically through drawers and bend over to look beneath another shelf, "Luna, it is far too late for this..."
"I know it's here somewhere!" she replied with anger, "And when I find it I am going to take it and shove it up that insufferable necromancer's..." she looked up at her sister and stopped, a strange look appearing on her face, "Tia... do not move." she drew every single word out carefully.
"What is it?" Celestia asked with concern. She started to take a step towards Luna.
"Don't move!" Luna shouted out with a frantic voice, "Just stay where you are..."
Celestia eyed her sister with worry, "Is something wrong?"
It was in her hair, the very object of Luna's loathing was in Celestia's floating mane. It was hovering above Celestia's neck and using two fingers to give Celestia bunny ears. Luna eyed it carefully, "Don't move... I have this."
Celestia's eyes widened as she saw Luna's magic flare up, "Sister?"
"Don't move..." Luna whispered as she concentrated to take aim, "This will only take a moment."
---
Half-way on their way to the outskirts of Ponyville, the necromancer suddenly stopped.
"Is something wrong?" Twilight asked.
He ignored her question and turned to look at the Canterlot castle in the distance, "Wait for it... wait for it..."
Both the paladin and Twilight followed his gaze. For a moment they didn't understand what he was waiting for, but then a blinding flash seemed to explode from one of the towers. When the two had regained their eyesight, they were shocked to see a big hole in one of the towers, smoke slowly starting to rise from it.
He turned around to give the two open-mouthed and big-eyed females a big smile, "Perfect." he stepped past them, "Let's hurry on, we don't want to be tardy now, do we?"
---
In the shattered remains of the Canterlot kitchen, stood a startled Celestia. There was a big and charred hole in her floating mane, and smoke was still rising from it. Behind her, the wall of the tower had been reduced to rubble by Luna's blast.
"Did I get it?" Luna scanned the room with excitement, "I think I got it!"
Celestia tried to contain her anger, but her anger turned into mischief as she saw the hand crawl on a beam above Luna. "Sister." she spoke with a clear voice.
"Yes?" Luna turned to face her, and saw her mane. She cringed visibly and blushed, "Sorry... I think I may have overdone it a bit."
"You don't say..." Celestia replied, "Maybe you would like to look up for a moment."
Luna gave her a quizzical look, "Why? What am I supposed to..." she was cut off as the hand landed on her face and took a hold of her nose, turning her words into shrieks, "GETITOFF!GETITOFF!"
"Don't worry, Lulu..." Celestia gave a small smile as her magic flared up, "Just hold still. I have this."
Luna's face blanked, "Sister?"
---
As he was pinned down by a shouting paladin and a shocked Twilight, the necromancer looked up in time to see another flash come from the castle, "Two times? Heh, maybe this place isn't so bad after all."
"This is a cruel joke..." the necromancer muttered as the paladin shoved him along. Once again, his hands were bound, with anti-magic rope this time, courtesy of Twilight Sparkle.
"You're lucky you get to sleep in a house at all!" she barked at him, "I should drag you back to the dungeon! What were you thinking?"
"Exactly!" Twilight stomped her hoof, "Tomorrow morning you're going to go and apologize to the princesses!"
"Yes, yes... of course I will." he wouldn't, "But back to the matter at hand..." he pointed his bound hands towards the little house in desperation, "Look at it!"
"What about it?" Twilight asked with an annoyed tone.
"It's pink! I can't live inside something that's pink!"
"Sucker up... I think it looks..." the paladin gave it a measuring look, "Nice."
He raised an eyebrow, "You think it looks gay."
The paladin flinched, "You can read minds too?"
"No." he replied with a smirk.
"You don't like it either?" Twilight asked in shock, "But it's so pretty!"
"To a five-year old maybe..." he muttered before turning to the paladin, "I think I like the dungeon better..."
Calindria gave a groan, "I'm too tired for this... Look, we'll just get some sleep. Go apologize to the princesses tomorrow morning, and then we can go look for some paint."
"And skulls..."
"No skulls." she barked at him, "We'll be lucky enough not to scare the townsfolk by our sheer looks."
"Says the sword-swinging goat..." he mumbled under his breath.
Twilight turned to him, "We should get you something nice to wear... those black robes just look creepy..."
"They're supposed to look like that."
She tilted her head, "Why?"
He stared at her, "You don't leave this place very often, do you?"
"Hey!"
"That's enough, both of you!" she started to pull him by his wrist, "We're going to get some rest..." she saw his face, "And I swear, if you start shouting rape again like before, I'll make you sleep in a trash can."
---
He hated the house. Everything inside was small and colorful, the chairs, the shelves, his bed... He wriggled to around to find a more comfortable position. Sleeping tied in anti-magical rope sucked, even more so in a bed suited for a child.
At least he had gotten to hear the paladin swear like a sailor when she hit her head on a low door frame. He had even learned a few new words... the flush on Twilight's face had been priceless.
Suddenly, he became aware of little taps sounding through the door. He strained his ears. There it was again, almost like Morse code. A grin spread his lips as he realized it was the hand.
"Get the key!" he whispered. There was a short pause, followed by more taps. He gave a groan, "I'll scratch you later. Just get the key!"
He could hear the hand scurry off. After a few minutes, there was click and the door swung open. The hand quickly scurried inside and jumped up onto his chest, wiggling its wrist around in joy.
"Did you have a good time? Good boy!" he greeted it, "Now, untie these blasted ropes." the hand immidiately got to work, "No! Don't pull there! The other end!" the hand twirled around frantically to free its master.
When the rope finally slid off, he sat up and rubbed his wrists, "Perfect!" He turned to the hand and scratched it behind its knuckles, making it shudder in wanton abandon, "Who's daddy's favorite little hand? It's you! Yes it's you!" the hand fell on its back and wiggled its fingers happily, "Good boy!"
He stood up and rubbed his palms in glee while the hand climbed onto his shoulders, "Now..." he said with a big grin, "Let's do some serious work!" sparks started to form from his fingers, "They are going to love this!"
---
Even in spite of the little bed, the paladin had slept like a log. When she woke up she stretched her limbs with a sigh, the sun was already starting to rise outside. A content smile passed over her lips, the necromancer was locked in his room, unable to use his magic, so this would surely be a good...
"Calindria!" a voice called from outside, "Calindria! Are you there?"
She got out of her bed and walked over to the window, finding that not only Twilight, but also a whole mass of colorful ponies was standing outside the house. It seemed the whole town was here. She noticed their strange expressions... whatever was going on now?
"Twilight, is something wrong?"
"I think you better get down here and see it for yourself." Twilight replied with a worried voice.
The paladin quickly adjusted her clothing. She didn't want to scare the locals so she left her armor and sword behind. On her way down the stairs, she did a quick check on the necromancer's door... still closed. Good. She reached the front door and stepped outside, meeting a stressful looking Twilight Sparkle.
"What's going on? Why is everyone looking..." her gaze followed the ponies' views, making her turn around and stop dead in her tracks.
For a moment, she just stared, mouth opening and closing in a futile attempt to form words. When she finally did, "You have got to be kidding me."
There, next to the little house and rearing into the sky like a black pillar, was a tower made of stone. A tower that had definitely not been there the night before. At the bottom of the tower, little imps were scurrying around frantically to carry all kinds of furniture and chests inside. For a moment, Calindria even thought she saw one of them run around with a bucket of paint. As she and the ponies observed the spectacle in wonder, a voice suddenly piped up behind them.
"Shaquar! Shaquar da tsam!"
The paladin and the ponies whirled around to see several imps approach them, a huge couch balanced on their little shoulders. The imps ignored their stares and quickly carried the couch towards the entrance of the tower. Upon arrival, one of the imps looked up at a window and called out.
"Zaka za shuuna na Bak?!" it seemed to wait for a response.
After a moment, a familiar head poked out of the window, "A couch? Splendid! Get it into the observatory! Top floor!"
The imp gave a groan and returned to the other imps, relaying the necromancer's orders and helping the imps carry the huge couch inside.
"I don't believe this..." the paladin groaned, "We've been here for one day and he's already build himself a bloody tower."
"What are they?" Twilight asked with concern.
"They're imps. Don't mind them. He uses them for household tasks. Only the light knows why the little pests work for him..."
"So... they're not dangerous?"
A shout could be heard from above, "No no no! The yellow goes in the kitchen! Red in the dining room! Traska mek tara! Irka mek fa fonsa!"
Calindria rubbed her temples, "They're pretty much cowards but they can be a pest if you upset them... They are sneaky thieves though, so keep a good lock on your possessions when they are around." she saw another group of imps approach with a huge bed, "There's just one thing that really concerns me at this point..."
"What?" Twilight asked as she watched the imps pass in wonder, maybe she could get one of them from the necromancer for research.
"From where are they getting all this furniture?" she saw two imps approach with a huge painting of... the royal sisters... the same one she had seen in the castle...
For a moment, she and Twilight just stared at the huge painting in utter horror and with huge eyes as the imps carried it past them.
"Twilight..." Calindria said with a quiet voice, her eyes staring straight ahead.
"Yes?" Twilight was in the same speechless state as the paladin.
"Do you realize whose bed that probably was the imps just carried in?"
"Judging by the black sheets..." Twilight gulped.
"Yeah... Luna really is going to kill him this time."
"Have you gone totally insane?!" the paladin shouted up at the tower, "Has your madness no boundaries?!"
"Impulsive people don't know boundaries!" he cackled from his window maniacally.
"Get down here at once!"
"Not by the hairs on my chinny chin chin!" he laughed.
"Great... now I have to go get him." she turned to Twilight, "Wait here, I'll get my armor and..."
There was a murmur in the crowd as a regal-looking chariot, pulled by several pegasi landed near the tower.
The paladin watched it in horror, "Oh crap..."
"They're here!" the necromancer laughed in glee before addressing the imps at the bottom of the tower, "Get everything ready! Thaka tza marri! Thaka ta trabba!"
The imps picked up their pace immediately, running inside the tower and pulling the large doors shut behind them.
The paladin turned around again in time to see Celestia and Luna approach. The expressions on their faces were enough to make her cringe. Especially the one on Luna's face. While Celestia's features swayed between anger and surprise, Luna's features only showed anger.
The paladin bowed before the two, "Princesses, I..."
"Never mind, paladin." Luna said as she walked passed her and towards the tower, "I have to go and blast a certain necromancer.... Repeatedly if possible."
Celestia stopped in front of Twilight and Calindria for a moment, "Did he build this tower over night?" she asked in wonder. The paladin only nodded, "Impressive... though it does not excuse the missing of our personal furniture. I hope he..."
She was cut off as the necromancer used his magic to increase the volume of his own voice, his words thundering over the ponies in a volume that matched Luna when she used her royal voice.
"Ponies of Ponyville! It is with great joy that I introduce myself to you on this fine morning! I... am the necromancer, and I have come bearing presents! But before I continue, let me express my deepest gratitude towards the royal sisters, for they have seen it fit in their endless generosity to gift me with their personal furniture so I would not have to sleep on the cold stone floor instead. Please, a round of heartbreaking applause for the princesses!"
The ponies stomped their hoofs and applauded. Even though none of them knew what a necromancer was, they still expressed their joy at the kindness of their rulers.
"Clever..." Celestia remarked with a tiny smile, "Now we can't simply demand our possessions back without making ourselves seem unkind and selfish."
Luna, however was not amused, "You took my bed!"
"And it is a most splendid gift! I will never be able to repay you for your kindness." the necromancer replied with a smirk.
"Now then!" he continued, "To celebrate my arrival and to show my gratitude, I have created this tower for the sole purpose of bringing you joy! Inside, you will find thousands of rooms stuffed with adventures, challenges and mind-rattling puzzles put in place and tailored specially to test and challenge your individual abilities. Solve the challenge of a room, and you win a most fabulous prize! But words alone could never describe the treasures that await you inside... so let me give you just a glimpse of what hidden wonders await you inside!"
He disappeared from the window for a moment, and sounds of rummaging and clatters could be heard over his voice, "Now let's see, no... too simple, too crap... possible... let's just get the enchantments running and... Aha! Perfect!"
The necromancer reappeared at the window, the ponies watching in wonder while the alicorns and the paladin watched in a mix of wonder, annoyance and concern.
"Behold!" he held up a large bowl, "The bowl of rotten fruit! Enchanted so that you will never run out of rotten fruit to throw at your annoying neighbors!" He picked up a large quill next, "The magical quill of writing! Never runs out of ink! Always writes just perfect, never misses a letter!" A little dragon eyed the quill with wonder and fascination. The necromancer continued.
"These fashionable threads of pure silk!" he held it up with one arm, "It can change its color and patterns to any effect you desire. Send your creativity into a new world and amaze the world with your creations!" A white unicorn swooned in admiration as the silk began to swirl with colors.
Next, he picked up an instrument with strings attached, "This beautiful guitar!"
"We don't have fingers!" one of the ponies called up.
"Don't need to! It plays by itself!" as if on cue the guitar started to play a wild and passionate song, "You think it, and it does the rest!" He put it down again, "Let's see... what next?"
He held up a long and slightly curved object. When the ponies below realized what he was holding up, a flush went through the crowd. "This life-sized... replica of a phallus? It seems it's already enchanted too!" the object started to buzz and whirl around violently, "Ewww..." he turned to face someone out of view, "Where the hell did you find this? Really? Zhartak ma una? Wow... I just hope you washed it first..."
He held up a small bottle next, "This potion of ludicrous speed! Think you were fast before? One sip of this and you'll double your speed, no... you'll go even faster! Show the world your absolute awesomeness as you set your trail on fire with your speed!" a rainbow-colored pegasus watched the bottle with huge eyes.
The necromancer put the object away and returned his attention to the ponies below, "These and many more treasures await, should you manage to beat my challenges! There is no danger, you can leave any time you want and you can't get hurt, I promise! Plus, if you manage to beat enough challenges to reach my chambers..." a big grin appeared on his lips, "You get to wish for anything your heart desires... you wish it, I'll make it happen."
A murmur of wonder passed through the crowd, the necromancer waited for his words to sink in before continuing.
"Now... you may wonder how I can afford to offer such entertainment, and it is with sadness and shame that I must admit that there is a small token I have to demand for your fun. A single drop of your blood. Now wait..." he held up a hand, "I know it sounds strange, but I promise that you won't feel a thing and you'll not only have the time of your life, but you'll also help my research for the good of all of Equestria! And... first try is free! Isn't it amazing? Go inside, try your luck and be entertained! I'm sure you'll see that a single drop of your blood is only a small fee for such an amazing offer!"
He started to head back inside, "Only one try per day and customer, no refunds, side effects may include short-timed loss of memory, slight confusion, diarrhea and excess adrenaline production. Have fun! And before I forget..." he bent down and reached into the bowl of rotten fruit, "Hey paladin!" he called out before tossing a huge and rotten tomato downwards.
A moment later, there was a splash and a storm of swear words screamed in anger could be heard from below. "Right on the kisser!" he cackled in joy before closing the shutters of the window.
---
When he turned around, happy with this new game of his, he was surprised to find himself standing in front of an overly active and pink pony.
"What? How the hell did you get up here so quickly?"
"I used the rear entrance, silly!" she laughed happily.
He turned to his imps, "Do we have a rear entrance?"
The imps shook their heads in wonder, as long as they had been working for him, none of them had ever witnessed something like this.
"Neesa ztha mak." one of them replied in confusion.
He gave a sigh, "Well... it seems we have our first winner already." he passed the imps an angry glare. They instantly got to work to check everything and to remove the rear entrance should there really be one. He bent down a little to greet the pink pony, "Tell me, what is your name?"
"Pinkie Pie!" she exclaimed happily as she bounced up and down in front of him.
"And what, Pinkie Pie, is your wish?" he had trouble to keep himself from smiling, she was just too amusing to watch.
"I want you to come to my party, of course!" she gave him a card with an invitation written on it.
"Pinkie's super duper incredibly awesome and surprising barn festival..." he read out loud, "Fair enough... I'll come. Anything else? Want me to do any magic tricks?"
"Nope, that's it." she started to bounce around the room before stopping for a moment, "Where's the exit?"
He pointed to a door on the far side of the room, "Down the stairs, past the flogging table and the screaming skull, third corridor to the left..."
"Thanks! See you at the party!" she waved him a goodbye as she left.
He watched her bounce off with a mix of confusion and amusement. He still had to decide if she was sane or even a pony for that matter, but he wouldn't miss a party that had 'awesome' and 'barn festival' written in its title for anything in the world.
He put the card in one of his pockets and called for one of the imps, "Alright, what's the situation outside? Are they getting ready to enter?"
"Zra tam kana ficha." the imp replied.
"Well of course she's getting her armor and sword. Why would I get flying baboons if she didn't bring that stuff along in the first place? What about the big blue and the white one?"
"Ukanta tam zuras am icha."
"Splendid! Make sure the room with the thousand hands is ready for her when she enters. As for the white one..." a big grin found its way to his face, "Send her straight through to me. I have something special planned for her."
Before Celestia could call them back, Luna, Twilight and the paladin had already stormed through the doors, leaving her behind outside. She gave a sigh, it seemed that the other ponies were eager to enter the tower as well but were waiting for her to enter before them.
She shook her head, "I may as well." and stepped towards the large doors.
The imp that stood in front of the doors did a quick salute and pulled one of the doors open, motioning for her to enter, "Thscha ka ma." it said with a polite bow.
"Thank you..." Celestia replied with a bit of a amusement, the imps looked rather adorable, but their sharp eyes told her otherwise. With a deep breath, she stepped through the door... and found herself in a large living room.
Countless books were stacked onto shelves and the room was decorated with carpets and furniture that strongly reminded her of her own... most probably because they were her own.
"Ah... princess!" the necromancer stood up from a big armchair with a big smile on his face, "You are just in time. Would you care for some tea and biscuits?" he turned to an imp standing at a door, "Trabba zum mekka can tura."
The imp nodded and dashed through the door, returning only a moment later in a maid gown and pushing a large wagon with tea pots, cups and diverse biscuits and cakes.
"Where are the others?" Celestia asked with a firm voice.
He went to the wagon and started to fill two cups with tea, smiling the whole time, "Enjoying their challenges of course, or at least trying to I'm sure... come, please be seated. Your challenge is about to begin." his voice carried excitement as he placed the cups on a small table between another armchair and a big cushion.
"My challenge?" Celestia asked with surprise as she followed him to the small table.
"Well of course, everyone gets their own, but I just thought... hell, I just had to give you a special one." he sat down in the armchair with a big grin, "So, we'll play a little game instead! Please, get comfortable so we can enjoy ourselves!"
Reluctantly, Celestia sat down on the cushion, "Thank you." she said politely as he placed her cup of tea at her side of the table.
"Now..." he started, "I was thinking, what better way to get to know one another than playing a good old-fashioned game of chess?" another imp approached, placing a huge and decoratively carved chess board on the table.
"This is from my room." Celestia stated with a quiet voice.
"It is? Sorry for that, the imps can be picky at times..."
"You don't say..."
"Heh... should we start? I suggest you take white and I black. It just seems so..."
"Fitting?" she finished his sentence with a frown.
He only replied with a big smile.
---
"Damn buggers!" the paladin shouted as she threw off another baboon, "I'll tear him a new arsehole for this!" she bashed another baboon with a shield.
If at least they were trying to bite or kill her, she would have had an excuse for killing them, but they didn't. Instead, the moment she had enter the large room, countless flying baboons armed with brushes and pens had latched onto her and had started to scribble profanities onto her armor.
"How did he even teach you how to spell?!" she shouted as she kicked another one away.
By now, her whole armor was covered in swear words, pictures of little flowers, donkeys and the occasional penis. She was certain, this time he had really snapped.
---
Luna walked down the hallway with quick steps, expecting to find the necromancer after the next door. When she opened the door though, she found herself in a white room instead. A white room with her bed standing in the middle, and the hand on top of the bed nonetheless.
"You." her voice carried the threat of death, but the hand didn't even flinch as she stepped up to the bed, "Get down from my bed this instant so I can blast you... you..." she was interrupted as the hand pointed a finger upwards, her head following the direction, "You..." she looked at the ceiling, and her mouth dropped.
Up on the ceiling, hanging on and sitting there like countless spiders, there were hands. Hundreds of them, uncountable in their sheer mass, all of them trembling slightly as Luna's terrified gaze traveled over them.
Her gaze returned to the hand on the bed as it snapped its fingers, looking down to see it hold up a letter for her to read.
'Welcome, princess Luna. The challenge of this room is simple, the safe word is uncle. Have fun! Regards, the necromancer. PS: The hands have terrible hearing, so you may have to shout it out several times, '
She looked back at the hand, it already had its fingers poised to snap again. Her eyes went wide in realization, "No... Please no... no..."
Before she managed to finish another word, the hand snapped its fingers a final time, and a thousand hands jumped towards a screaming Luna.
---
Twilight looked around herself in wonder, she was in what looked like a huge reception, stairs running up and down numerous levels and countless doors and counters with different numbers lined the walls. She stepped up to what she though was the main counter, an imp reading a newspaper sat behind it.
"Hello?" she asked carefully.
The imp looked up for a moment before passing her a letter, she read it.
'Welcome, Twilight Sparkle. To win this challenge and to claim your prize, you must succeed in obtaining form number three-two-five-A. Have fun! Regards, the necromancer. PS: No magic.'
She looked up at the imp, "So where do I get form number three-two-five-A?"
The imp only raised an eyebrow, set aside the newspaper and vanished behind the counter with a huff. After a moment, it reappeared, hoisting a humongous stack of paper onto the table. "Fill out forms two-one-five-B to one-six-three-C, hand them in at the designated counters and return to this counter with form six-two-zero-D."
Twilight gulped, the tower of paper was as big as herself, she became aware of a problem, "I don't have anything to write. Could you..."
The imp gave an annoyed huff and disappeared behind the table again, returning a moment later with an equally huge stack of papers and a short, gnarly pencil, "Fill out the forms required for lending internal property and office materials, hand them in at counter six to fifteen on levels three to five, obtain material outsourcing form three-yellow, and bring it here."
Celestia used her magic to place a pawn a field forward, "Tell me, was all this really necessary?"
He pushed one of his own pawns towards her, "The tower? Absolutely! I simply couldn't live in a house that colorful. And look around..." he waved his hand over the room, "It's absolutely beautiful, isn't it?"
"It does hold a certain flair now that it is furnished with our belongings..."
"You're not angry about that, are you? I figured you had enough wealth to spare a few things." he replied with a smile.
"Angry is perhaps the wrong term..." she sighed, "It was an unpleasant surprise though. My sister though, yes... she was very upset. Especially after that incident with the hand."
"But wasn't it fun?"
"To a certain part... maybe. Luna would likely disagree though." she moved another figurine forward, "Speaking of Luna, what challenge have you set up for my sister?" she gave him an accusing glare, "You're not going to anger her even more, are you?"
"I wouldn't dream of it!" he laughed, "We could have a look though... I'm curious to see how far they've gotten." he started to chant a few words, a ball of light appearing in front of them.
"Now..." the lights inside the sphere started to turn, "Let's see what the paladin is up to first..."
An image started to form inside the sphere, but before it even had a chance to give them a clear view the paladin's voice could be heard thundering through the room, "Blasted flabberfuckin' necromancer!"
"Ahh..." the necromancer's lips spread with a warm smile, "It seems she has reached the challenge of the kraken..."
As if on cue, the image became clear and the paladin could be seen being flung about wildly by a set of huge tentacles, all the time screaming profanities that made a flush grow on Celestia's cheeks.
The necromancer made a motion with his hand, and the image disappeared from view, "Well... she seems to be enjoying herself... Let's check on Twilight Sparkle next..."
"You didn't set her up against a monster too, did you?" Celestia's eyes narrowed.
He shook his head with a guilt-stricken face, "I wouldn't dream of it... The only monster she'll be facing..." he made a dramatic pause as the sphere started to swirl again, "Is the monster of bureaucracy!"
Inside the sphere, Twilight Sparkle could be seen standing at a counter, an endless stack of papers by her side.
"What do you mean I've brought the wrong forms?! Look!" she showed the imp behind the counter a blue piece of paper, "I got protocol three-point-two-B!"
"Yes, you have." the imp relied with an unmoving face, "But you forgot to fill in your surname on appendix B-three-one." the imp pointed a finger at the section.
"But it's not required for protocol three-point-two-B!" she wailed.
"It isn't for the deposition of form three-point-two-B, but the outgoing protocol requires sheet six-two-four-C and filled-out copies of appendix B-three-one to C-three-four."
"What?!"
"You need to pick up form four-four-point-one for the acquisition of appendix B-three-one to C-three-four at counter C7 on level thirty-two, have it filled out at counter thirty-one on level one, and approved of back at the main counter. Then, go to level twenty-four, pick up form..."
Twilight gave of a scream of desperation.
"She's not playing it very smart now, is she?" he chuckled, Celestia gave him a glare, "No offense meant, but the challenge is to beat the system with its own rules, not become a slave of them."
She didn't seem to be amused in the slightest, "I do not enjoy how you play with my subjects."
He spread his hands, "They can leave anytime they want to. I'm not forcing anything on anyone..." her glare continued, "Don't worry, I'm sure she'll figure it out..."
"Show me the challenge for my sister." her voice was even.
He paled slightly, "I'm sure she is enjoying her challenge and assure you that your worries are..."
"Now."
He sighed, "Oh well... let's have a look what Luna is up to..." he started to move his hands again.
The shadows started to swirl and take shape, but before the image became clear, a deep and throaty moan escaped the sphere of light, making the both of them flinch backwards in surprise.
"What the..." he started to mumble as the image became clear. When it did, both he and Celestia found themselves staring at the image in utter disbelief.
"Noooo, don't stop! A bit deeper... Ooooohhh... Don't stop! This is incredible!"
The necromancer clapped his hands and the imagine disappeared, "That... that certainly wasn't what I expected... That image is going to haunt me for the rest of my life!"
Celestia was quiet for a moment, obviously just as shocked as himself at what she had just witnessed. Her eyes narrowed further, "You put my sister in a room full of hands?"
He cringed, "Sorry, I simply couldn't resist... at least she seems to be enjoying herself... though she can keep the bed after... after that."
"Are all your challenges like this?"
He shook his head, "Certainly not, their meant to be challenging and enjoyable, though some seem to find them more challenging or just... enjoyable."
A frown appeared on her face, "Prove it."
He thought for a moment, "Let's see... what do we have..." the images in the sphere started to whirl around, "Ahh... perfect."
---
"Cutie Mark Pirates to the sea!" Applebloom shouted excitedly, a large eye clap over her left eye, "Enemy ship spotted to the west! Prepare for battle!"
"ARRrrr..." Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle replied in unison, both of them in perfect pirate costumes.
The small ship sailed through the water, the waves cracking as they hit the hull, sending white foam and water raining over the fillies.
The other ship shot off a full side of canons, the projectiles flying over the water and towards the little pirate ship.
"Pwepare foe impffat!" Applebloom shouted with a wooden sword lodged between her teeth.
"What? I don't understand what you're saying!" Scootaloo replied, failing to dodge a projectile as it hit her in the face and threw her over.
"Scoots! Are you alright?" Sweetie Belle called out with worry from her position at the helm.
"They're shooting with pillows!" Scootaloo laughed as she got up, "This is so cool!"
"Prepare to return fire!" Applebloom called out from above, "Cutie Mark Pirates, into battle!"
---
The image disappeared again, "So..." he had a big grin on his face as he watched her face, "Say it... you love it."
"It was nice." she replied with a small smile, "Now... let us continue our game, shall we?"
"And your sister?" he asked with a raised eyebrow, "I'm scared she might run down the carpet if she let's the hands continue at this rate..."
Celestia shook her head at his insinuation, "She's a grown mare and capable of making her own decisions. I'm sure she'll come to her senses soon."
"I sure hope so or she won't have any feeling left in her legs afterwards..." he chuckled as they continued their own game, "Seriously though, I'm going to have to burn that bed."
She chuckled, "Better the bed than you, don't you think?"
"Are you feeling alright?" Celestia asked with worry, "You seem... tired." she had only recently noticed that his eyes carried heavy bags under them and his movements seemed a bit slurred.
"It's alright." he waved a dismissive hand, "The raising of the tower took some toll on me but it is nothing I can not handle." he moved another figurine forward.
"It must have taken a lot of magic to create all of this..." she replied in wonder, "It is very impressive to think that you created all of this in one simple night."
"This?" he looked up, "Not at all. Simple conjuration and a few alterations... the spells needed to create all the rooms where a bit difficult I'll admit, not to mention the enchantments required to morph the space inside the tower..."
"That doesn't really sound as simple as you make it appear." she replied with chuckle as she moved a chess piece, "But even so, you look tired. How much of your magic did you use to create all of this?"
"Not an ounce of my own." he smiled at her, "There's so much magic in the surroundings here that all I had to do was simply grab it out of the air and use it for my purpose."
"The art of leeching?" she asked with an inquisitive look.
"Yup."
"Then why do you look so tired?"
He sighed, "Because my body can only handle so much magic." he saw her questioning face, "When leeching, my body channels the magic I pull out of my surroundings... But a mortal body can only handle a certain amount of mana flow before it strains the body and starts to damage it. And believe me, a lot of mana was required to build all of this."
She gave him an incredulous look, "You risked your own health to build this tower?"
"It's not as bad as it sound, it was enough to wear me out a bit but it is nothing a good sleep won't fix."
Celestia raised an eyebrow, "For the future, would you please refrain from doing things like this? I don't like the thought that you would hurt yourself simply to entertain others."
He shrugged, "Sure... shouldn't we continue our game?"
She gave him a disapproving glance, "You're taking this far too easy, it is worrying that you seem not to have a concern for your own life."
"Pfff... you're just trying to change the subject so you won't have to see me beat your flank all over this chess board."
She frowned, "Am I? Very well, let us continue then."
---
Calindria stepped through the door and into the hallway, cursing all the time.
"Bloody kraken had its sloppy tentacles all over me... How did it even know how to open my harness?" she shuddered as she repositioned it over her chest, "I bet this was his idea all along... wait till I get my hands on..." she stopped as another door in the hallway opened and a very smug-looking princess Luna stepped outside.
For a second, the two just stared at one another, "What happened to your armor and face?" Luna asked with a quizzical look.
Calindria pointed to her armor, "Flying baboons..." she pointed to the red ring on her face, "Kraken sucker..." she didn't dare mention that the red rings were, quite literally, all over her. She would strangle the necromancer for this. "What happened to your mane?"
Luna blushed, her mane was so drenched with sweat and... other things that it clung to her body, "I... had a workout..." and an exciting one at that, she still had to regain full control of her legs.
"Well..." the paladin sighed with a frown as she tightened another loose strap on her armor, "Seems like we get to do the next challenge together. I just hope he's enjoying this as he watches us, because I'm going to murder him when I find him."
Luna's face paled considerably, "What do you mean with... he watches us?"
The paladin raised an eyebrow, "He has like... this magic ball of light he uses to check all the rooms."
Luna's face became even paler and her pupils shrunk, "You mean to say... he saw..."
"Everything." the paladin shrugged, "He can even hear us, bloody bugger is probably watching us as we talk..." she looked up into the air, "Wait till I get my hands on you! You're as good as dead this time!" She turned back to princess Luna, "Are you alright?" she asked with worry, Luna looked like she was in some state of shock.
"Everything..." Luna whispered, "He saw... everything..."
"Hello?" Calindria waved her hand in front of Luna's eyes, but got no response. She gave off another sigh and started to pull Luna along, "Come on, might as well see this through..."
"Everything..."
---
"Hey! That's cheating!" he protested wildly.
"What?" Celestia asked in surprise, "I merely moved my pawn back a step."
"Exactly! You can't do that! Pawns only go forward!"
"Not in Equestrian chess." she replied with a witty voice.
"What?!"
"In Equestrian chess, the pawns may be moved backwards as well so you can protect them from the enemy's attacks."
He looked at her with a baffled face, "Why would you want to do that?"
"The sense of the game is to either conquer your foe by a single, well-placed move or bring him to an impasse while protecting one's own subjects."
"That..." he stared at her with an unbelieving face, "Is the single, most useless idea of chess I have ever heard."
She raised an eyebrow, "Then how do humans play chess?"
"Simple." he said, "Pawns go forward only, you sacrifice them to open up the ranks of your opponents and lure them into a trap."
"That is cruel." she replied with frown, "Why would anyone take such a civilized game and turn it into a barbaric slaughter?"
He gave her an annoyed look, "Because..." he made a motion with his hand, and before her eyes one of his pawns sprouted legs, arms and a miniature knife before dashing over the field and starting to brutally stab down one of her pawns, "It is effective."
She gave him a glare, and with a slight glow of her horn a miniature sun appeared over the chess board. Before he could react a beam of pure light shot out of the sun and turned his rampaging pawn into nothing but ashes.
"You incinerated my pawn! That's not allowed! Why did you do that?!"
She stuck out her tongue, "Because... it is effective?"
He gave her a glare, "I changed my mind."
She raised an eyebrow with a smirk, "About what?"
"You're getting a challenge like everybody else." he stated flatly.
"Whatever do you..." before she could finish her sentence, he snapped his fingers and a hole opened beneath her seat, Celestia falling through it with a yelp.
He eyed the chess board with disapproval as the trap door closed again, "Blow up my pawns will you... stupid game." He turned to one of the imps, a look of slight worry on his face, "Where did I send her anyway?"
"Maka zta kjuta." the imp replied with a broad smile.
"Room of the hundred paddles?" The necromancer chuckled, "Oh, that is going to be glorious... I wonder though what the paladin and Luna are up to..."
"Welcome..." the robed figure said with a deep voice, "To the challenge of wisdom."
Princess Celestia raised an eyebrow. Before her stood a small imp in a dark robe, and it looked ridiculous. Behind the imp however, a long stair went up and into the dark, and on each step stood a similar imp with a big wooden paddle in their little hands.
"The challenge... of wisdom?" she replied with a slightly amused voice.
"The challenge of wisdom." the imp repeated solemnly, "To attain true wisdom one must ascend the path of knowledge and understanding. Each step represents another burden you must take upon yourself to truly be wise..."
"And the paddles?" she asked
"They represent the striking force of realization as you take each step."
"Are they really necessary?"
The imp nodded, "They are obligatory. Also..." it held out a small cherry, "You must carry this between your bottom cheeks."
She stared at the cherry in disbelief, "And what is that supposed to represent?"
"Nothing, actually... we just think it highly amusing. And what is wisdom without laughter?" the imp replied with a dead-serious voice.
She gave the imp a stern view, "And if I refuse to take this challenge?"
The imp pointed towards a door, "Then you may leave..." the door swung open to reveal another set of stairs with more imps, "And descend the path of ignorance... while holding a cherry with your bottom cheeks."
"It is exactly the same!" she gave the imp an angered glare.
"It is not." it replied, "The path of knowledge and understanding leads up, the path of ignorance down. Also, the path of ignorance has double as many steps and many turns and dead ends."
Celestia eyed the imp for a moment, debating with herself whether she should simply blast a hole into one of the walls. A thought passed her mind, "What is the prize should I complete this challenge?"
"Since the challenge of wisdom is a high tier challenge, the necromancer will be at your command for a whole day should you complete it."
---
"This isn't so bad..." the paladin mumbled as she took another bite from her cotton candy, "He's never had fun challenges before."
"I admit, this challenge is not against my tastes." Luna replied and chucked down another roasted nut, "But it is slightly worrying, or is it not?"
The paladin looked around herself. She and princess Luna were on a huge country fair, countless small stalls with foods, games and fun rides waiting to be tried out. Every stall or ride was operated by the imps, and they worked feverishly to keep everything running. When they had entered, a small imp had given them a card with a single message; 'Enjoy yourselves.'
"I don't know, normally I'd agree with you, but I'm starting to think he's finally snapped so I wouldn't be surprised."
"That doesn't exactly put my worries aside..." Luna said as she chewed another nut, "These nuts are fabulous though!"
The paladin turned to one of the imps, "So... how long do we have to enjoy ourselves before we pass the challenge?"
A brief smile passed over the imp's face, "The challenge? Hasn't started yet, but it shouldn't take much longer."
"What the hell is that supposed to..." she stopped as Luna gave off a groan next to her. Calindria turned around to see Luna shake on her knees as a grumble escaped her belly.
"Princess! Are you..." she froze as she felt her own stomach churn, "Oh god!" she went to her knees as a wave of agony washed over her. She looked up at the imp, "What did you do?!"
The imp got out a small letter, cleared its throat, and started to read.
"Welcome, to the challenge of hastened steps. The food you have been consuming so happily is heavily laced with a strong laxative, as you are probably starting to notice at this moment." a loud gurgle from the paladin's stomach sounded in confirmation, "There is, one lavatory somewhere among the stalls. The challenge is simple, find it and do so without spoiling yourself or look like an idiot doing so." the imp closed the letter, "Have fun."
---
Celestia walked through the corridor, her behind bright red and burning with each step, her sense of dignity considerably lessened. It had taken much commitment to eat the cherry at the end, but she had what she wanted; a golden ticket that would entitle him to be her servant for a full day... And she would use it.
She reached a big door, and once she had stepped through she was surprised to find herself on a big country fair. What surprised her even more though, was to see her sister and the paladin hobble along the stall at a maddened pace.
"There!" the paladin shouted and started to waddle towards a small green stall at a frantic pace.
The two of them reached the stall, and immediately started to squabble wildly about who should enter first.
"I'm calling dibs!" the paladin shouted but was thrown backwards by Luna's magic.
"Princesses always have the honor!" Luna shouted before storming inside and locking the door.
"Damn you!" Calindria shouted and looked around wildly before storming to a stall with a large kettle.
Celestia watched the scene in wonder, not comprehending at first what the fuzz was about, but taking a shocked step backwards as she heard the both of them unload themselves in a series of mind-wracking sounds and sobs.
"There's no toilet paper!" Luna shouted from inside the stall in agony.
Celestia gave an annoyed sigh, she had enough of the necromancer's games for one day. She flared up her magic and aimed for one of the walls.
---
"Let's see now..." the necromancer shifted his vision through the countless rooms and challenges, "Few wins here and there... but all dropped out eventually. Seems that everyone enjoyed themselves." he chuckled, "What a perfect start! I'm sure they..." he stopped as the door to his chambers was pushed open and a tiny foal stepped inside.
"Hello?" the foal said through a wooden sword clenched in its teeth, "Is anyone here?" he spotted the baffled necromancer and his eyes became big, "I made it! I actually made it! This is so great!"
The necromancer stared at the foal, "Who are you?"
"I'm Pipsqueak, Sir." he answered as he put down the sword.
He waved his hand and a scroll appeared before him, "Let's see... Pipsqueak. There it is... Completed the challenge of bones, completed the challenge of the labyrinth..." he eyed the little foal with disbelief, "And you completed the challenge of the ogre? I say... I'm impressed! What did you win?"
"This sword that never breaks..." he held up the wooden sword, "Also, this cap that always fits..." he showed the necromancer the little cap on his head, "And this bouncy ball that glows in the dark, but I think I lost it."
"A shame..." the necromancer replied.
"Do I get a wish now?" Pipsqueak asked with excitement.
Neither he or the necromancer noticed that three others had entered through a separate door.
"Of course!" the necromancer flexed his fingers, "What can I do for you?"
"Can you make me brave?"
The necromancer stalled, "What?"
Pipsqueak looked at his hooves, "Well... I get scared really easy, and I just want to be brave so that the others won't laugh at me..."
For a moment, the necromancer just stared at him, "You just battled a horde of skeletons, passed a labyrinth full of booby traps and you searched a haunted mansion for an ogre. How could I make you any braver than that?"
Pipsqueak returned his stare, "Oh... so I'm... brave?" the necromancer nodded, "I'm brave!"
"So..." the necromancer interrupted him, "What's your wish?"
Pipsqueak's face blanked, "I don't know... I guess I already have what I wanted..."
"Tell you what..." the necromancer started and a small, golden ticket appeared in his hand, "Take this. If you make up your mind, or if you ever need my help, just call for me and I'll come straight to you." he handed the ticket over to Pipsqueak with a big smile.
"Wow! Thanks!" Pipsqueak took the ticket with gleaming eyes before turning his head, "Oh, hello princess Luna!"
The necromancer froze, "She's behind me, isn't she?"
Pipsqueak nodded, "Princess Celestia and a funny looking creature in armor as well."
The necromancer cringed visibly, "You better leave, kid. I think things are about to get ugly. Take the door to the right, it'll lead you straight out."
"Okay. Thank you! I really had a lot of fun!" Pipsqueak replied before running off.
"My pleasure, kid." he took a deep breath before turning around, "So... I take it you blasted your way here?"
"Indeed we did." Celestia replied with a raised eyebrow, "And were it not for that kind gesture just now, I would be tempted to blast you as well."
"I'm still tempted." the paladin replied with a grim face.
"As am I." Luna added.
The necromancer grinned, "Well... you know what they say..." he snapped his fingers, and another trapdoor opened beneath him, "You'll never take me alive!" he shouted as he fell into the darkness.
For a moment the three just stared at the hole, cursing silently to themselves that he had gotten away. But then, a voice could be heard from the hole, "Blasted hells, I think I... I think I'm stuck! Who designed this piece of crap?!" one of the imps present made a nervous face and quickly retreated from the room.
Celestia approached the hole with a small smile on her face and looked down into the necromancer's.
"Heh... fancy meeting you here... care to give me a hand?"
"Do you know, what this is?" Celestia levitated the golden ticket before his face, watching happily as he turned very pale.
"You ate the cherry?!"
"Indeed I did, for the path to wisdom may be hard, but endurance and determination are always rewarded." she spoke with a motherly voice, "I expect your presence an hour before sunrise. Your day of service starts then."
He gave a yawn as he stepped out of his tower. Two hours till sunrise... he shuddered as he breathed in the cold morning air, but his eyes widened in surprise as he found a pony waiting in front of the doors.
"What the... don't I know you? What was your name again? Sprinkle Sparkle?"
"Twilight Sparkle!" she corrected him with a glare.
"Uhmm... okay?" he looked at the huge stack of paper she was carrying with her, "What are those?"
Twilight Sparkle struck a proud pose, "These are all forms required for the challenge, filled out and ready for checking. I wasn't able to finish yesterday, so I prepared everything last night."
He stared at her for a moment, "You do realize those aren't going to help you?"
"What? But I filled out everything!"
He groaned, "You did, the forms from yesterday... They change them every day..." he picked up a piece of paper and held it up with a disapproving look, "These... are worthless."
Twilight's jaw fell open, "But... but... I worked the whole night!" she wailed.
The necromancer gave off a sigh, "Do you want a hint?"
She tilted her head, "A hint?"
He rubbed his temples, "Look... normally I don't do this, but it's far too early for this crap. So listen up, you go in there when the tower opens, and you demand a form that doesn't exist. And whatever they say, insist that it exists."
"How's that going to help me?" she asked with a raised eyebrow, "I know what I need, so why should I ask for something else?"
The necromancer yawned, "Just do it, and watch... it'll be fun, I promise."
Twilight watched him leave in wonder, not understanding a single word he had just said. She gave a sigh, "Might as well..."
---
Celestia slumbered peacefully in her bed, still tired and sore from yesterdays events. Her sleep was interrupted though, when a tired voice penetrated the silence.
"It's time to wake up." a male voice cooed next to her bed.
"MmmmMmm..." she mumbled into her pillow in protest.
Someone gave off a silent curse and mumbled several profanities, "The crap I put up with... Come on, it's monday..." the voice sighed, "I hate mondays..."
She gave a happy yawn and snuggled deeper into her bed, "I delay mondays..." a soft snore escaped the pillow as she drifted into sleep again.
There was another sigh, "Get up... you have to raise the sun." someone shook her shoulder.
She struck the hand away with a lazy motion, "You go do it... I'm tired..." she mumbled.
A short pause followed, "Alright."
For a moment she thought she was dreaming, but then Celestia's eyes ripped open in surprise as she felt something tap into her powers.
Her head shot up from the pillow, and she watched in total shock as the necromancer stood on her balcony, one hand pointed to her and the other pointed at the horizon, a thin line glowing gold between the two of them.
"Come on..." he mumbled, "Come on, you big fat fu..."
Celestia watched in utter disbelief as the sun appeared on the horizon.
The necromancer started to breath heavily, beads of sweat forming on his brow, "Up you go... just a little bit... how did I think this was good idea? I'm installing pits of shit when she visits the next time..." he mumbled between ragged breaths, but eventually, the sun started to climb, "Almost..." he wheezed, "Move your fat ass!" he snarled, and with a last motion of his hand, the sun rose into its position.
She felt the connection cut off and saw him sink to his knees, bent over with his head held low and heaving heavily.
"Are you... are you insane?!" Celestia nearly shouted as she quickly scrambled out of her bed, suddenly fully awake, "What in the world were you thinking?!"
"You told me to..." he coughed up blood, "Damn that piece of shit is heavy..." he struggled to turn around and leaned against the balcony, "I say, I knew you were powerful, but seriously..." he took a deep breath, "Even the little I took nearly killed me..." he spat out blood again, "If you weren't connected to that yellow fuck so deeply, I wouldn't have even been able to touch it..." She noticed with dread that a new streak of gray ran through his hair.
"We have to get you to a hospital!" Celestia started to panic, his face was pale enough to match her own coat.
He waved a dismissive hand, "Just give me a moment..." he wheezed through cracked lips.
Celestia watched in concern as he put one of his hands on the railing of the balcony, and concern turned into wonder as she saw the stone start to lose its color and crumble before her eyes as if aging a thousand years in mere seconds. As she continued to watch, his breathing slowly returned to normal, and the color started to return to his face.
He gave a sigh, "There we go... good as new." he stood up and looked at the stone he had touched, "You should probably have that exchanged..." his voice became quiet as she stepped up to him with a very upset glare.
"Never... do something like that again." her eyes burned into his own.
"But you said..." he started to reply.
"Never! No matter what I say. You nearly killed yourself! Putting aside the fact that what you just did should be impossible, it was an absolutely foolish and reckless act! What if you had made a mistake?! The sun could have..."
He gave her a small grin, "But I didn't, did I?" he waved a hand at the sun, "Looks absolutely perfect, doesn't it? I could probably get it to do some loops with a bit of practi..." he turned pale as she stepped closer to him, her face almost touching his.
"Never." her voice carried the threat of death.
"Never. Got it." he nodded quickly, still grinning like an idiot.
She shook her head, "You are unbelievable."
"I'm awesome!" he protested as she turned around and headed for another door, "Where are you going?"
"I am going to take a shower, and then I am going to prepare myself for my duties." she replied as she entered the bathroom.
For a moment, the necromancer stood alone in the bedroom, slightly at a loss, "Do you need me to scrub you down? Or should I take the shower for you?" he asked with false excitement.
He was rewarded with a door being slammed shut.
"Guess not..." he chuckled as he looked around himself, "Wonder what she's going to say when she finds out I turned twenty of her guards into frogs just to get here..."
"Would you like some tea?" Celestia asked over her own cup.
"What? You're not going to have me serve you breakfast?" he asked with mocked surprise.
"As much as I'd like to see what your skills are in a kitchen, I highly doubt the staff would be happy if you mingled with their work." Celestia replied with a small smile, "Not to mention I'd rather not put you in a room full of sharp knives and open fires..." she whispered.
He raised an eyebrow, "Then what do you want me to do?"
"I'd like to enjoy a simple conversation over a nice breakfast." she replied, "Now, would you like some tea?"
"I'd rather have some coffee..." he mumbled tiredly as he took some toast.
He looked up in time to see Luna enter the dining hall, she looked just as tired as he felt.
"Good morning sister." Celestia greeted her with a happy voice, "How was your night?"
"The same as always..." she mumbled as she took her own seat next to her sister. Luna gave the necromancer a glance, "So, you really made him come?"
"I did." Celestia replied with a small smile.
"I was surprised you managed to raise the sun on time." Luna said as she poured herself some tea, "I would have thought you'd oversleep and I'd have to do it again."
"Again?" the necromancer snickered, "Does she always sleep in on mondays?" Celestia blushed.
Luna gave him a disapproving look, "I'll have you know that our duties are very strenuous, to raise the sun every morning is no simple task."
He laughed, "Don't I know it..."
"What is that supposed to mean?" she asked with suspicion.
"He did something very foolish this morning." Celestia replied uneasily.
"Why doesn't that surprise me?" Luna sipped from her cup, "I take it this is somehow related to the frogs sitting in the hallways?"
Celestia gave the necromancer a glare, "You promised they'd return to normal."
"After a few minutes... give or take an hour." he put on an innocent smile, "I do tend to get the timing a bit off when doing things hastily."
She shook her head, "Hearing that I'm actually surprised you didn't kill yourself earlier."
Luna looked up in surprise, "Kill himself? Why? What else did he do?"
Celestia seemed about to change the subject, but the necromancer interrupted her.
"I..." he struck a proud pose and waved his hands around dramatically with a piece of toast wedged in the corner of his mouth, "Raised the sun."
Luna stared at him for a moment before turning to Celestia in disbelief, "Please tell me this is a joke."
"If only it were..." Celestia replied with a sigh.
At this moment the doors to the dining hall were opened again and a pink alicorn with a bathroom robe walked in with happy strides, "Good morning everypony." she piped happily, "Isn't it a beautiful..." she stalled as she saw him sitting at the table, "Who are you?"
"I'm Celestia's new love toy. Wanna have a practice round?" he said with a casual voice.
Celestia sighed in annoyance, "Cadence, this is the necromancer. Necromancer, this is my niece, princess Mi Amore Cadenza."
Cadence stared at him, "So... what is he?"
"I'm a slave." he muttered grimly as he munched on his toast.
"He is a guest." Celestia corrected him with a frown.
"He is a plight..." Luna muttered over her tea.
"I'm awesome." he gave her a wink, "And don't you think I didn't see what you were doing with the hands."
There was a spray of tea as Luna nearly choked on her drink, making him burst out laughing.
"Seriously though, I could probably make you a set of your own if like them so much."
Luna blushed, "You... you could?"
"Please let us not talk of this at the breakfast table..." Celestia interrupted with a frown, her glare telling him not to say anything inappropriate before Cadence.
"Uhmm... okay?" Cadence replied unsure of herself and took her seat, "So... Mr. necromancer... Are you enjoying this fine morning?"
"I fail to see what's so good about it..." he muttered, "I don't usually wake up for another four to six hours at this time."
"So you're a night person?" Cadence tilted her head, "Aunt Luna is too, I'm sure the two of you could have a lot of fun together."
"I sincerely hope not." Luna replied with a frown.
"Meh..." was his only reply.
"Could you pass me the butter?" Cadence asked with an innocent smile, but before he could give a reply, the doors to the dining hall were thrown open and a unicorn in armor stormed in.
"Good morning, captain." Celestia greeted him with a warm smile.
"Good morning, princess." he turned to Cadance, "Good morning, dear." before turning to the necromancer with an angry glare, "Are you the one who's been turning my guards into frogs?!"
The necromancer raised an eyebrow, "Why? Would you prefer sheep? I could probably do butterflies too..."
"I'd prefer it if you didn't at all! Do you know how many schedules I had to redo because the guards scheduled were hopping around croaking? Not to talk of the mental trauma caused when they ate flies by reflex! I demand an apology!"
The necromancer stared at him for a short moment before turning to Celestia, "Who's this cunt?" now it was Cadence's turn to nearly choke on her piece of toast.
"Watch your tongue!" the unicorn stepped up close to him, "You're in the presence of royalty! I am captain Shining Armor, and I refuse to allow vermin such as you are to simply..."
"Do you like goldfish?" the necromancer interrupted him with a small smile.
Shining Armor drew back in surprise, "What? What the hell is wrong with you? Are you insane?" he grabbed the necromancer by his collar, "Are you making fun of me?"
Celestia was about to intervene, but then she saw the necromancer's hands flare up, "Oh no..."
There was a loud crack and a flash of light. When their eyesight had returned, Shining Armor was gone. The necromancer however, was wearing a big grin and holding up a squirming goldfish in his fingers, "I just love goldfish so much... they're just so calming to look at." he placed it in a glass of water, "There you go little fellow... much better."
The necromancer crushed a piece of toast between his thumb and finger, letting the crumbs fall into the glass, "There you go... can't have you miss breakfast!" he clapped his hands together with a happy sigh before leaning back, taking a moment to observe the shocked faces of the alicorns, "What?" he started to frantically scan his robes, "Did I spill..."
His words were cut off as an aura of pink magic enveloped him and yanked him around wildly, bringing the necromancer face to face with a visibly upset Cadence, "What did you do to my love?!" she growled at him.
The necromancer eyed her with a blank expression, "Who?"
Cadence turned him around and pointed at the glass with one of her hooves, "My husband!"
He raised an eyebrow, "You're married to a goldfish?"
"You turned him into one!" she shouted at him.
"I did?" he asked with a patient voice.
"I saw you do it!" she thundered back, her eyes burning with rage.
"You did?"
"Yes!"
"Really? Are you sure?" he asked with a somber voice.
"Cadence..." Celestia was about to interrupt.
"YES, I AM SURE!" Cadence's voice thundered through the dining hall.
"I see..." he stared at her for a lingering moment, his brows knitting in thought as she breathed heavily, "How does your husband know where to stick it?"
"What?!" she took a startled step back, not believing what he had just asked.
"Well, I am curious... seeing as you're all pink, there's really no point looking for the pink flag... does he aim by memory or do you have some kind of tattoo to show him the right hole?" he tilted his head, "Can't see any arrows..." he observed her completely speechless form for another moment, "Or do you glow in the dark?" to their side, both Celestia's and Luna's jaws had just hit rock bottom.
"Youuuuu..." Cadence looked like she was about to catch fire.
---
Calindria gave the pan an annoyed glare, she had never been good at cooking... the scorched toast was a silent testimony to that fact.
"What I wouldn't give for a boar on a stake..." she mumbled to herself, "And a good flagon of ale..." her mouth watered but she quickly composed herself, paladins always made the best of what they had. She eyed the toast with dismay and sighed, "Bloody necromancer is probably having breakfast with the princess right now."
Her thoughts of food were interrupted by a knock from the door. The paladin put the pan aside and walked out of the kitchen, passing the hand sitting in the corridor. She couldn't help but think that it looked a bit sad as it waited for its master to return.
When she opened the door, she found Twilight waiting outside with a big smile.
"You're in a good mood..." she observed Twilight's grin, "What happened?"
"I did it!" Twilight laughed in triumph, "I beat the challenge!"
Just as the necromancer had told her, she had demanded a form that didn't exist. The results had been astonishing. The imps had seemingly thought that one of them had made a change to the procedure without telling the others. Soon, hundreds of imps were running in a crazed mob between the different counters, shouting at one another and quarreling about who had made a mistake.
In the end, and on the verge of total chaos, they had simply shoved form number three-two-five-A into her face and told her to leave them alone.
The paladin raised an eyebrow, "That's nice for you... I guess... and you didn't mind giving him a drop of your blood for it?"
Twilight cringed a bit, "Well I wasn't so happy about it at first, but it didn't even sting so I guess it's fine..." she pulled out a small box, "Look what I got as a reward!"
Calindria eyed the box with distrust, "What does it do?"
Twilight's face lit up in joy, "It's a box of lost things!"
"A what?"
"A box of lost things!" Twilight explained with glee, "If you lose something, like a key for example, you just open the box and it'll be inside!"
The paladin gave an approving nod, "That's pretty useful..."
Twilight tilted her head, "Something smells burnt."
Calindria sighed, "Yeah... I tried to make toast but I guess that didn't really work out..."
"Would you like to join us for a picnic?" Twilight spoke up with a happy face.
"What?"
"Well, me and the girls were planning on going out for a picnic. If you're hungry you'd be welcome to join us." Twilight smiled at her.
The paladin looked back into the house where her burnt toast was waiting, and back at Twilight.
"I'd be honored."
---
"Change him back... now." Celestia commanded.
The necromancer gave a grumble from his seat, had it not been for Celestia's intervention, Cadence would have thrown a fit for sure... and he would have loved to see that.
"Alright, alright..." he sighed, "Give me a moment to concentrate..." under the watchful eyes of the three alicorns, he spread his hands over the glass... and paused, "Huh... that's new..."
"What is it?" Celestia asked with a tint of worry.
He chuckled, "I forgot the spell to reverse the transformation..."
"That's not funny." she gave him a stern gaze.
"No joke... I guess I forgot it since I never used it..." he saw her glare, "Don't worry, I'll figure it out."
The necromancer spread his fingers and started to concentrate, "Alright... here we go!"
There was a bright flash, followed by a loud squawk.
"Seagull... wrong." another flash, "Butterfly, wrong." he continued, the flashes starting to repeat themselves at a constant pattern while he mumbled to himself, "Apple... tree... sheep... rock... glass of juice... another rock... cricket... bucket of butter..."
There was another flash an the paladin stood in the dining hall with a baffled face, "What the fu..."
"Bitch..." she was gone with another flash, "Cat... puppet..." with the next flash, a confused Shining Armor stood before them. For a short moment, the alicorns where about to cheer, but the necromancer, lost in his work and not paying attention for a moment, continued, "Pony..." there was another flash.
"Wait!" the three alicorns shouted before a pumpkin appeared.
"Pumpkin..." he mumbled before looking up, "Did you say something? I need to concentrate so keep it down... sheesh, some ponies these days..." he continued, "Pot plant... bee... another fish... stack of bits..."
---
Twilight eyed the paladin with worry, "What just happened? One moment you were gone and then you were back!"
The paladin stared straight ahead for a moment, her eyes still blinded from the flash. She sighed, it was far too early for this kind of crap. "I don't even want to know... We better get going before something else happens."
Twilight raised an eyebrow, "Do you think he..."
"Right now, I don't even want to know what he's up to." Calindria interrupted Twilight and shook her head, "He's probably annoying the princesses to no extent..." she mumbled to herself before looking at Twilight, "Let's just go eat something and have a nice time, I don't think I can deal with him on an empty stomach."
"Tia..." Luna whispered into her sister's ear, causing her to look up from her scroll.
They were in the middle of the morning hearings. Numerous ponies and nobles mingled in the great hall, waiting for their turn to state their requests and concerns. Most of them were trivial, but Celestia insisted that she and Luna hear them all. Her commitment to her subjects' concerns never wavered.
Luna on the other hand, was mostly bored. And tired. Her duties during the night always left her on the verge of sleep. This morning though, had been quite interesting and by her evaluation, it would still get more interesting.
"What is it, Luna?" Celestia replied.
"Look." she nodded her head towards the far end of the hall.
There, sitting on a stool a good distance from the general crowd and under the nervous glances of the guards present, sat the necromancer.
Amazingly, he had been sitting there for over a full hour now. Not saying a word or moving even in the slightest, just staring straight ahead and making any pony cringe when they came too close to him without noticing until turning around.
Celestia followed Luna's eyes and looked over to where he was sitting, "Has he done anything while I wasn't looking?" she had explicitly forbidden him to use any magic during the morning hearings.
Luna shook her head slightly, "He hasn't done anything."
Celestia sighed in relief, "That is good then. I'm happy to see he can pull himself together if..."
"You don't understand." Luna whispered fiercely and her eyes narrowed, "Look closer! Do you see his eyes?"
Celestia's focused on the necromancer's face, "I admit it is a bit strange for him to just stare straight ahead like that..." she whispered to Luna before turning back to her scroll, "But taking into account what he has already done today I'm more than happy for him to be serious for once."
"He hasn't blinked once in thirty minutes."
Celestia's head snapped up and she stared at the necromancer with unbelieving eyes.
Luna raised an eyebrow, "I'm starting to think those are just painted on."
As if on queue a soft snore escaped the necromancer, traveling through the air and making the ponies turn their heads in wonder as the necromancer's head slumped forward slowly. Celestia felt a headache grow in the back of her head.
---
"This is nice..." the paladin commented happily as she took another bite of her sandwich. It had taken her some time to find some without flowers on them, but doing something not related to war or hunting the necromancer was a nice change of pace. They had found a nice place in a big park in the middle of Canterlot, the castle looking majestic as it stood over the other buildings.
"It certainly is a beautiful morning." Rarity chimed, "Princess Celestia outdoes herself every day."
"Hey! Who do you think made sure there weren't any clouds today?" Rainbow Dash protested, "I've been working all morning!"
"Ah seem to remember you snorin' in one of our trees... or was that a different Rainbow Dash?" Applejack laughed as Rainbow Dash blushed.
"I can't help but wonder what the necromancer is doing right now..." Twilight eyed the castle in the distance with worry, "And I still wanted him to show me some of his magic!" she grumbled.
"Forget it." Calindria sighed, "He'd probably wear pink before he tells anyone about his secrets and I certainly don't want to know what he's up to now." she saw Twilight's look of dismay, "Sorry."
"I think he'd look charming in a suit of pink!" Rarity swooned, "I can already feel the inspiration running through me!"
"I'd advise strongly against it." the paladin chuckled, "He'd probably throw a fit..."
Rarity huffed, "Well, we can at least get you something nice to wear."
The paladin looked down herself in surprise, "What's wrong with my clothes?" She was currently in her boots, saggy pants and white linen shirt, her sword lying by her side. "I always wear these when I'm not in armor."
"And they're dreadful! Far too crude!" Rarity huffed, "But a beautiful dress, with ribbons!" The paladin blushed, she had never been one to wear dresses and the necromancer would probably die laughing should he ever see her in one... "And of course we have to do something about that armor!"
"My armor?" the paladin asked bewildered.
"I think the armor looks awesome!" Rainbow Dash interrupted Rarity before turning to the paladin, "You have got to show me how to use that sword!" she eyed it with a glint in her eyes.
The paladin's brow furrowed, "My armor and my weapon are a sign of my rank and belief. It would be blasphemy to paint it in any colors other than those of my order." she picked up her sword, "And a paladin never lets another wield their sword and only relinquishes should etiquette demand it."
"I see..." Rarity replied with dismay, "Still. I'll be sure to make you something nice to wear when your not clad in metal." she rubbed her chin, "I wonder if one sash would be enough for a casual summer dress..." the paladin cringed.
"May I... may I ask something?" Fluttershy asked softly.
The paladin eyed her with surprise, the pegasus hadn't even spoken up when they had been introduced.
"Yes?"
"Well I was wondering..." Fluttershy mumbled without looking up, "Now that you have such a nice house for the two of you..."
The paladin felt a frown grow on her forehead. Fluttershy had obviously not heard of the necromancer's tower yet, and she would skin him alive should he try to pull one of his pranks on the timid pegasus... but what was this about?
"Well..." Fluttershy trailed her hoof over the ground, "Are you going to start having foals soon?"
The paladin just stared at her, her face suddenly white as snow and her eyes big.
"What?" it was barely a whisper.
Fluttershy tilted her head, "Isn't that how you normally do these things? First, you find your special somepony, then you find a nice home, and then..." she saw the paladin's bewildered look, "Eeep..."
"I... What? Are you..." the paladin mumbled before a picture flashed before her mind, "I think I'm going to throw up..."
The looks of surprise on their faces became even larger when an explosion shattered the silence of the morning. All of them turned their heads in shock to see the windows of the Canterlot main hall burst to pieces, fire and lightning shooting out in all directions.
"Shit! Speak of the devil!" the paladin cursed as she picked up her sword and ran for the castle.
---
They were hunting him... how had they found him this time? Where was he? Everything was a blur as he ran aimlessly from the sounds of his pursuers. The necromancer looked around himself in the dark, shadowy figures with red eyes approaching him slowly. In the distance, standing open in the dark he saw a door, and behind it he saw a room he was all too familiar with... a torture chamber... and they were waiting for him.
The necromancer felt his heart beat frantically, and the scars on his back burn like fire. The figures started to draw nearer, ready to take him away. He ran into a deadend, he was cornered. The shadows came down upon him.
His eyes snapped open and the necromancer snarled as he sprang to his feet, his magic already rushing to his fingers, "You'll never take me alive!"
---
Celestia and Luna cringed as countless magic missiles pelted the shield they had set up over their subjects.
Until a few minutes ago, the necromancer had been snoring softly and causing several of the guards to give him stern gazes. Then, he had started to sweat and shake on his stool, mumbling to himself in his sleep. When one of the guards had poked him in an attempt to get him to wake up though, chaos had erupted.
The necromancer had jolted straight up from his seat with a frenzied look in his eyes, giving off a savage scream before bringing his sparking hands together in clap.
The shockwave that erupted from his hands had been powerful enough to shatter the windows in the great hall and throw all the ponies around him off their hooves. Celestia and Luna had barely had enough time to set up a shield before he started to hurl thunder and fire in all directions, screaming like a mad man the whole time as guards tried to take cover behind overthrown benches or shattered pillars.
What surprised the two alicorns the most though was the sheer amount of power he was putting into his chaotic attacks. There seemed to be no end to the destruction as he blasted everything in sight. Not much longer and he would likely destroy the carrying pillars.
"Luna!" Celestia called out to her sister over explosions and cracking air, "Uphold the shield! I will..."
Before Celestia could finish her sentence, it stopped. Just as sudden as the mayhem had started, it was over again and an eery silence started to spread as the dust started to settle. In the center of the hall, among scorched stone and crushed pillars, the necromancer stood with a strange expression on his face.
He looked around himself in disbelief, his face growing pale and a look of sorrow appearing on his face.
"No..." he whispered, "It wasn't supposed to be like this... I wasn't..."
He turned to see the ponies stare at him with terror in their faces. The necromancer looked up and into Celestia's eyes, and she saw something in his face she had not seen before... fear.
"No..." he whispered one more time before a glow started to appear from his hands and he vanished.
"The tower is closed. You're not getting in." the imp said with a flat voice.
Celestia eyed it with worry. Standing behind the imp were at least a hundred more, and the looks on their faces made them appear anything but ridiculous or cute. If anything, their determined expressions told Celestia that they were dead serious and ready to fight.
"The necromancer wishes to express his deepest apologies for what happened this morning. He has already ordered that we repair any damages done." the imp continued, "He has further decided that in order to avoid further conflicts, he will remain in his tower for the rest of his stay."
"You can not be serious." Luna replied, "He can't just stay inside his tower for the rest of his..."
"He can." the imp interrupted her with a glare, "And he will if that is his wish. The tower is locked down. We will supply him with anything he needs." the other imps nodded with grim determination. They were armed to the teeth with spoons, forks, pans and the occasional rolling pin.
Celestia started to take a step forward, but the moment she did she was pushed back by an unseen force so strong it actually surprised her.
"We may not be as skilled or powerful as our master." the imp spoke with a low voice, "A little push is all we manage at best. But it'll be a good thousand of us doing the pushing, so even you shall find it difficult to step past us. And we are more than capable of absorbing whatever magic you have to throw at us. Even if it kills us."
"This is madness." Celestia spoke with a careful voice, "I only wish to talk with him."
"Not important." the imp replied, "The tower is closed. And it will be moved into the forest on the next occasion."
"Into the Everfree?" Luna asked with surprise, "That is far too dangerous!"
The imp's gaze turned even harder, "Not important. The boss wants to be alone, and that's it."
Twilight turned to Calindria, "Maybe you can talk to them."
The imp looked at the paladin with a scowl, "The necromancer also stated that we are allowed to let out Tobie should the paladin try to enter the tower."
The paladin turned pale, "He brought Tobie back to life? You're bluffing!"
"Try me." the imp sneered, "The boss gets creative when he's upset."
Celestia shook her head, "We are all worried for him. No serious damage was done and we only wish to help him."
"We're not letting one of you take him." the imp replied with fire in its eyes.
"None of us intend to harm him." Celestia tried to plead with the imp, "Please, let me talk with him."
"Excuse me?" a little voice spoke up, making everyone present turn around to see Pipsqueak walk up to them, "Isn't the tower open today?"
"Sorry kid, the boss says the tower remains closed." the imp replied with a kind smile before turning around to face Rainbow Dash with a growl, "That goes for all of you."
She had been trying to sneak around the imps, but now Rainbow Dash found herself under the stern gaze of a hundred pairs of eyes.
"Pfff... this is ridiculous." she spread her wings, "I'm just going to fly in through the window!"
Celestia watched with concern as Rainbow Dash flew towards the window. What concerned her even more was the fact that the imps weren't even sparing her a single glance as she headed upwards.
"Alright, prepare for awesomeness!" Rainbow Dash called out before shooting inside.
For a moment, nothing happened. Then the doors to the tower were thrown open from the inside and a huge set of tentacles chucked a wide-eyed Rainbow Dash outside.
"He decides were the doors and windows go." the imp gave her a disapproving look as she lay before him, "And the kraken never tires. Even if you manage to get inside you're going nowhere but outside again."
"Is mister necromancer in trouble?" Pipsqueak asked with worry.
"He threw a fit, blew up half of the castle and now he's locked himself in his own tower." Calindria replied casually.
"He had a small accident." Celestia corrected her with a small glare, "But I am afraid he won't allow us to talk with him."
Pipsqueak pondered on this before walking towards the imp, "Can I talk with him? I don't want him to be sad."
The imp raised an eyebrow before turning to another imp, "Ztak muk tapra..." he turned to the foal, "What was your name again?"
"Pipsqueak, sir."
The imp turned back to the other imp, "Ztak muk tapra Pipsqueak."
"Uztahh?" the other imp asked with a surprised face.
"Uztahh."
The other imp shrugged and gave Celestia another glare before heading inside the tower. When he opened the doors, she saw countless imps waiting behind them, undoubtedly ready to intervene should they try to enter the tower by force. After a few moments he returned and joined the imp at the front.
"Mkazh."
The imp nodded and turned to Pipsqueak, "You can enter. The others may not."
Pipsquak turned to the princesses, "Don't worry, I'll talk with him."
Calindria saw Celestia's face, "You're not actually considering this, are you?"
Celestia sighed, "I do not wish to resort to violence." she turned to Pipsqueak, "Please tell him that I am not angry with him and that I only wish to talk." she looked up at the imp, "He will be safe?"
"The boss would have my hide if not." the imp replied with an even voice, "He'd never let a kid come to harm."
"Very well then." she turned back to Pipsqueak, "You may go, but be careful."
"I promise I won't take long!" Pipsqueak ran through the imps and into the tower, the heavy doors closing behind him with an audible thunk.
The rest of them remained outside, waiting for his return under the watchful eyes of the imps.
---
"Hey kid..." the necromancer sighed, "Did you meet Tobie on your way up?"
Pipsqueak smiled, "I did, he was really nice. He looked a bit strange with all those arms though."
"Don't I know it..." he whispered so Pipsqueak couldn't hear him, "I wanted cocks, but I all had were arms... not that Tobie seems to mind much... not that hard though, without a brain..."
"Huh?"
"Never mind kid..." he waved his hand with a tired expression, "Tell me, is Celestia outside?"
Pipsqueak nodded, "She is."
A small smile crossed his lips, "And does she have her guards with her?" The necromancer sat down in his armchair with a heavy sigh, "Won't be much longer now, I guess..." he rubbed his temples, "You should probably get out before they bring this place down with me inside it."
"The princess said she isn't angry with you." Pipsqueak said, "She only wants to talk with you."
"Sure she does..." he chuckled, "That's what deities always want..." he pulled out his pipe, "Might as well..."
"What's that?" Pipsqueak tilted his head as the necromancer started to stuff it.
"Nothing for kids..." the necromancer mumbled, "Bloody last batch I have anyway..."
"You should let them help you." Pipsqueak spoke up, "Everypony is worried about you and only wants to help."
"Kid..." he put the pipe between his teeth, "I'm beyond help."
Pipsqueak shook his head, "We learned in school that you can always say sorry and that it's okay to ask for help. Princess Celestia only wants the best for all of us."
The necromancer gave him a sad smile, "That's what I'm afraid of, kid."
"What does that mean?"
He shook his head with a sigh, "Never mind... go down and tell her I'll talk with her if that's what she wants..." he flicked his wrist and a small flame came into existence in the air, putting fire to the head of the pipe, "It can't be helped now anyway..."
Pipsqueak smiled, "Okay, I'll go tell her now!"
"One more thing..." the necromancer drew in a breath from the pipe, a small blue cloud exiting his mouth as a small grin spread over his face, "On your way down... could you tell Tobie that the paladin is waiting for him outside?"
"This is taking too long!" Calindria cursed through clenched teeth, "We have to do something!"
They had been waiting for half an hour already, and every minute that passed felt like an eternity. Needless to say, many of them were anxious to find out what was happening inside the tower.
"I appreciate your concern, paladin." Celestia tried to calm her, "But remember that no harm has been done yet, and I wish to keep it that way for as long as possible." untold to the others, she too felt a slight feeling of concern pass through her. What was the necromancer doing?
The paladin protested, "Only the light knows what he's doing with..."
At that moment the doors to the tower were opened, and Pipsqueak stepped outside with a smile on his face.
"He says you can come in now, princess." he bowed before Celestia.
"Thank you." Celestia returned the foal's smile.
"What took you so long?" the paladin asked with a frown.
Pipsqueak blushed, "Well, there was cotton candy on the way, and I was hungry... Oh! I almost forgot!" Pipsqueak jumped around and ran back to the doors, the ponies and the paladin watching in wonder.
Pipsqueak stopped inside the doors, took a deep breath and shouted into the tower.
"TOBIE!" The paladin's face became white as snow, "The paladin is waiting for you outside!"
For a moment, there was nothing but silence as the ponies' eyes alternated between the open doors and the shocked face of the paladin. Then... a heavy footstep could be heard echoing through the tower.
"No..." the paladin took a shaking step backwards, "He couldn't have!"
A strange and melodic voice could be heard singing, "Little children hide or stay, Tobie comes today to play..."
Calindria started to reach for her sword with a trembling hand, "Oh god... anything... anything but him!" she started to sweat.
"What is that?" Celestia asked with a raised eyebrow, the footsteps started to draw nearer, the singing becoming more clear.
"Hugs and kisses for twenty days, Tobie does as father says..."
With the last line something huge shot out of the doors, jumping over the imps and towards the screaming paladin. For a moment, all Celestia could see were arms. Dozens of arms attached to a hulking, sweating tower of meat and fat, hairs running down the back and a little, disturbingly deformed head on top. Two little eyes with too much space between them stared at the world while constantly looking in different directions without contemplation until they fixed on the paladin.
The sword was snatched out of Calindria's hand and at least a good dozen stumpy, fat arms with short and gnarly fingers took hold of her body, pulling her upwards and into the bear hug of Tobie.
"PALADIN! Tobie so happy to see you!" a sweaty hand patted the paladin's head, "Pretty little paladin! Tobie will hug and brush pretty hair!" from a shaggy and heavily torn set of pants, a small brush was pulled out.
"Oh god! He stinks even more than before!" the paladin cried out in terror, "Get him off of me!"
The ponies were at a complete loss of words as Tobie started to brush the paladin's hair, humming to himself with each brush while using one of his many arms to scratch himself in an undignified spot now and then.
"Tobie miss paladin!"
"Get your filthy hands off of me!"
"Has little bow for paladin!" he attached a pink bow to the paladin's head, "So pretty! Tobie just wants to brush all day!"
"AAAARGH!" the paladin struggled furiously, but the dozens of arms held her in place with a grip like steel.
Next to Celestia, someone coughed.
Celestia looked down and at the imp from before, "You shouldn't keep him waiting for too long, or he'll probably change his mind."
She gave Tobie another concerned look, "Don't worry..." the imp followed her gaze, "He won't hurt anyone..." the imp chuckled, "And he's even suitable for kids, now that he has arms instead of dicks."
Celestia shook her head with a frown, but headed for the open doors nonetheless, "Luna." she called out to her sister, "Please keep an eye on..."
"Tobie!" the hulking form waved three stubby little hands at her with joy as the paladin continued to scream.
"Please keep an eye on Tobie." Celestia repeated before she stepped through the doors, the heavy wood closing as she entered the tower.
---
"Such a pretty little paladin." Tobie cooed.
"Somebody do something!" the paladin screamed furiously, "For fucks sake! Get him off of me!"
"Little pretty paladin, caught in a whim, watch as Tobie makes hairbrush spin!" the mountain of flesh continued to chant happily.
"Uhmm, excuse me?" a little voice spoke up. Tobie turned his head to look down at a little, yellow pegasus, "Could you... put her down? If you don't mind, that is..." Fluttershy almost whispered.
Tobie just stared at her, unmoving and unblinking. "Pony..." slowly, his massive form started to tremble, "Sooo... pretty!" a small squee escaped his mouth.
"Fluttershy! RUN!" Calindria called out, but Tobie was already on the move, dumping the paladin on the ground as he rushed off towards Fluttershy.
"Is sooo pretty!" the huge form loomed over Fluttershy, "Tobie is going to brush, cuddle and hug! Then brush more, hug and cuddle again!"
"EEP!"
"So cute! And yellow too! Tobie loves yellow! Is best..." Tobie's words were interrupted as a blade emerged from his brow, a puzzled expression spreading on his features. Having turned his attention away from the paladin, he had failed to notice her pick up her sword and sneak up on him. Fluttershy looked like she was on the verge of tears.
"AHA! Got you, you fat fu..."
"Hihi! Tickles!" Tobie started to chuckle before reaching behind him, plucking the paladin from his back and pulling out the sword from his skull, "Father made Tobie without brain this time, so sword won't work any more."
"He what?!" the paladin started to struggle in his grasp.
"Now..." Tobie turned his attention back to Fluttershy, "Tobie will cuddle all the pretty ponies!"
"Stop right there." Tobie turned his head to see Luna approach, "I have had enough of this, put down the paladin. There will be no cuddling today."
Tobie tilted his little head, a toothy smile appearing on his face, "Oohhhh... big, blue pony! Father gave Tobie present for big, blue pony!"
Luna watched, first in surprise but then with horror, as Tobie reached into one of his pockets, and pulled out a hand. Unlike the others she had seen before, this one was clad in a black glove with metal studs. The moment it felt Luna's gaze, the hand started to twitch violently.
When Celestia entered the necromancer's quarters, she found him sitting in his armchair, occasionally letting a small cloud of smoke escape his mouth as he smoked his pipe.
"You smoke?" she asked with surprise.
"Yeah, yeah..." he waved a dismissive hand with a sigh, "I know it's forbidden here, but it's my last batch anyways and it helps me stay calm."
"It is not forbidden by law." Celestia shook her head, "It is merely highly frowned upon since it is bad for your health."
"Right..." he huffed, "I have a feeling that letting you inside is going to be much worse for my health anyhow."
Celestia frowned, "What would make you think that?"
He raised an eyebrow, "Because you're here to destroy me? Or at least imprison me..." his face became contemplating, "But I am neither going to be put in another dungeon nor on the moon if I have a choice in the matter."
The necromancer stood up from his seat and flexed his hands with a tired sigh, "So lets get on with it. I'll be sure to put on a good show for your subjects downstairs, thunder clouds, evil battle cries... maybe even an explosion or two..." he smiled, "Yeah... I'm all about explosions. But when you do burn me to ashes, could you at least not aim for the face?"
Celestia stared at him with confusion, "Why would I do something like that?"
He frowned, "Because I blew up half of your castle?"
She shook her head, "No damage was done that can not be repaired. Did the little one not already tell you that I am only concerned for your wellbeing and only wish to talk?"
"My wellbeing?" he watched her with surprise, "Celestia, I don't know if you noticed but..." he was interrupted by shouts from outside.
"Drop me down ya vermin!" a voice could be heard hollering from outside.
"Pretty hat. But pony should take more care of hair, could be much prettier. Like white pony over there. Has most pretty hair Tobie has ever seen! Is perfect!"
"Why, thank you very much. A mare does have to make certain to look appropriate everyday. May I ask, what you would suggest we do with Applejack's mane?"
"Damn darn it, Rarity! Don't give him tips! Get me down!"
"Tobie has blue ribbons, also red and green... maybe curls too? Tobie likes curls..."
"Yes! Those would look fabulous!"
"For crying out loud, are you all insane?! Get me my sword so I can chop his head off!"
The necromancer groaned, "One moment, be right back."
He walked towards the window and poked his head out, "Tobie! You're supposed to keep the paladin busy, not play with the locals!"
"Yes, father."
"Then get to it. Luna and Twilight, that hand is going to stick a finger up a very indecent place if you continue to glare at it like that! Play nice, or leave it alone!"
The necromancer pulled his head inside with a sigh, "He's a good boy but he tends to lose focus... maybe I shouldn't have removed his brain." he turned back to Celestia, "Where were we again? Oh, yeah. You were about to kill me." he held up a hand, "Alright. Let me get in the situation... What pose should I strike on my last moment? Vengeful?" he shook a fist in the air, "Shocked?" he made a surprised face, "Or should I..."
"For the last time, I am not here to kill you!" Celestia interrupted him with a glare, "I only want to talk with you."
"Huh... really? No explosions?" he looked a bit disappointed before giving her a suspicious look, "What would we talk about?"
"I want to know what happened." she stated with a caring voice, "What made you lose control like that?"
He sighed heavily and slumped into his chair, "Just a bad dream. We all get those from time to time..."
"Not like that I am afraid." Celestia replied as she took a seat on a cushion, making sure to move it a bit to the left, "Even I have bad dreams, but I have never seen anyone panic from one like that."
"Clever, you remember where I put the trapdoor." he chuckled.
"I do. Now tell me, what did you dream about?"
The necromancer rubbed his temples, "Do we really have to do this?"
She nodded with a stern gaze, "We do. It is important for me and even more important for you."
He leaned back far into his chair and closed his eyes, a small trail of smoke escaping his mouth, "It was something from my past. Something I hoped I had left behind me." he turned to her with a sudden smirk, "If you'd have to guess... What kind of people do you think my parents were?"
She frowned, "Your parents?" she thought for a moment, "Judging by your skills in spite of your young age, I would suspect that they were very devoted to your education and social status. Thought it seems they were a bit too strict, which would explain your childish behavior. Was your father a mage as well?"
"My father..." the necromancer's face and voice suddenly turned so cold that Celestia felt the hairs rise on the back of her neck, "He should pray that the two of us never meet." the seriousness disappeared from his face and was replaced by a smile, "And you're wrong, my parents were the exact opposite."
He leaned forwards in his chair, his fingers crossing over his lap, "My mother, was a prostitute."
"What?" Celestia asked with shock.
"She worked in an old harbor brothel with at least ten other girls like her. She was young, and naive... but she was kind. I don't know who my father is, and I don't really care. I grew up as a bastard child in that place under the caring eyes of prostitutes. It wasn't really a place to grow up, but they were kind to me... and I learned a lot more about how the world works than I could have anywhere else." he chuckled, "You know, how to tell real affection from illusion... how to work with money and how to handle a knife if a customer doesn't pay up."
He saw Celestia's mortified expression, "You're surprised?"
"More shocked than surprised, if I am honest. How did you learn to use magic in a place like that?"
The necromancer leaned backwards again, "When I was five... or six? No, it was five... When I was five, I started to show signs of talent..." he waved his hand through the air, a soft glow following the fingertips, "It was merely a mixture of instinct and desire that allowed me to do a few simple things. It started with floating toys, things being pushed back or forth... and wilted flowers coming back to bloom..." he sighed, "My mother loved it so much when I did that. It always made her smile."
"She and the girls realized I had talent. But talent needs to be guided, so they collected money without my knowing for three years, taught me how to read and write..." he scratched his head, "I think one of them was a teacher before she changed her profession... So they saved what little they had, until they had enough to send me to the capital and to the mage guild."
"That was very kind of them." Celestia commented with a smile.
"Yeah... but kindness alone doesn't always cut it, I'm afraid. Like I said, my mother was kind, but naive." he puffed his pipe, "When I arrived, the mages were shocked, and scared. A mere bastard boy without royal blood or a name for himself already showed more understanding and instinct for magic than the whole lot of them. Being a mage was a prestige only reserved for the rich and royal. If some lowlife like me would be allowed to best them, how would that make them look?"
Celestia eyed him with growing concern, "What happened?"
"What do you think? They called me a charlatan and threw me out, after taking my entrance fee of course, mind you."
"That is terrible..." Celestia started.
"You tell me. So there I was, a kid without money in the big city. No way back, no goal to head towards to... and you know what the real painful thing was? I had failed to show the world what I could do... to show my mother I was worth the effort." he placed his pipe on a small stand, "So I became a street kid... Wasn't that difficult, I already knew how to handle a knife, after all."
Celestia eyed him with sorrow, "But what about your magic?" she silently prayed that there was a happy end to the story.
The necromancer frowned, "When the nights are too cold to sleep, you have to keep your mind occupied. So I practiced on what little I had." he smirked, "And if there is one thing that there is an abundance of in big cities, it's rats. Dead rats, to be precise. They became my toys, and then my tools. First I merely controlled them directly, but with time and study, I learned to bring them back to life."
He chuckled, "Turned out to be pretty difficult to make them move on their own, but I figured that out too. I started to send them on burglar runs, even got myself a little hideout in the sewers so I could continue my studies undisturbed. At some point, I learned how I could use them to gather information. I could look through those dead little eyes, and see what they saw. And you know what?" he smiled, "I sent them to the mage guild."
"What happened next?" Celestia asked with suspense. She felt slightly worried at the thought of him sending hundreds of rats into the mage guild.
"Well..." he sighed, "At first, I admit, I just wanted to get some revenge... You know, have the rats gnaw off a few ears, fingers and toes... maybe even the occasional cock." he chuckled before turning serious, "But my mother wouldn't have liked that... like I said, she was kind but naive... but she still was my mother. So I used the rats for something else."
A sigh of relief escaped Celestia, "So what did you use them for?"
A grin appeared on the necromancer's face, "I sent them to the library, and through their eyes, I learned. The basic spells were a breeze... the complicated ones were a bit hard at first..." he looked at his hands, "I had burns for weeks after my first high-tier fire spell... fun times."
He looked back at Celestia, "So I spent my time learning the secrets of magic on my own, studying the fields I found most promising... and one of the most intriguing ones was the art of alchemy." he sighed, "What wonders I discovered, potions of unimaginable effects and powers, all you needed were the right ingredients and patience. With the knowledge I gained from them, I was able to take my research even farther. Simple reanimation was no longer a problem now that I could use potions to lessen the necessary steps."
"You learned all of that by yourself? That is very impressive." Celestia smiled before a small frown appeared on her face, "But it is also very dangerous."
He scratched his head, "You don't say, my first healing potion was miserable. I grew three extra arms!" he laughed, "And they all tried to strangle me! But I was a quick learner, and with the books at my disposal and the rats running for my ingredients, I was able to make good progress. It was also in my first year of study, that I discovered the term necromancer."
"At first, I was simply intrigued by the term but as I delved deeper into the subject, I realized more and more that this was what I had become. So I dug up any information I could find on them, but most of it was simply rubbish."
"What do you mean?" Celestia asked.
He wave a hand, "It seemed most of them used their powers in an attempt to take over the world... You know, raise an army of the undead, spread plagues and terror over the world and watch it decay..." he chuckled.
Celestia gave him a mortified expression, "That's what necromancers do?"
"Pfff. Only the wannabe ones, all idiots if you ask me. The true purpose of a necromancer, is research."
Celestia raised an eyebrow, "What kind of research?"
"The essence of life." a broad smile appeared on his lips, "To uncover the very secrets that form it, to master death itself... in other words, to attain true immortality." he started to explain with excitement, "Raising a dead body and infusing it with what in essence is a soul, is simple. But at the end of the day, they're still just walking corpses. The real challenge, the true goal any real necromancer is devoted to, is to uncover the secrets of true reanimation! To bring the dead back to life!"
Celestia eyed him with shock, the raising of the dead was already a worrying issue, but to actually bring the dead back to life? In all her years she had never heard of something like that. "You can reanimate the dead?"
He shook his head with a tired sigh, "Nope... and it is unlikely that I'll finish my research now that I'm stuck here." he waved a dismissive hand around him.
She eyed him with mistrust, "Why?"
"Because, your subjects are too clingy of their dead. To finish my work, I need bodies to study and experiment on. The fresher the better. Sadly, that's considered a crime in this world... not to mention I never worked with ponies before." he rolled his eyes, "So that's that. Years of study and work down the drain... and I'm certainly not going to stoop down to grave robbing now."
Celestia watched his face for a moment, trying to contemplate why this was so important to him. "This still doesn't explain what happened during the morning audience."
He clapped his hands, "Oh yeah, this is were the real fun part starts. I continued my studies for several years, forgetting about the world above and concentrating on the art of necromancy only. Turned out though, my actions hadn't gone unnoticed."
"You were discovered by the mage guild?"
The necromancer gave a hearty laugh, "Those old farts? They wouldn't know I was there until one of my rats bit them in the ass! No. Unnoticed by me, a new order had been formed above. A bunch of religious fanatics with strange ideas of how the world should work, the paladin downstairs is one of them... though she hasn't delved as deeply into their madness as the rest of them, yet. She still believes that they represent everything good and true in the world... friggin' order of the light."
His face became grave, "I don't know who or what ticked them off, but imagine my surprise when one day a full battalion of paladins and clerics comes barging down into my home like an earthquake." he sighed, "They turned my lab and my home into nothing but rubble and ashes in mere minutes, and they put me in chains."
"How old were you when it happened?"
"Ten, eleven? I don't even remember... I was still lucky though. They believed I was just some poor, possessed kid the real necromancer used for his errands. They simply couldn't imagine a brat like me was capable of magic like that." he leaned his head on one of his arms, "And so, in an attempt to save my soul the paladins took it upon themselves to perform an exorcism on me. You know, what an exorcism is, don't you?"
Celestia didn't say a word, she only listened. She could see something familiar rise in his face, and she didn't like where his story was heading.
Suddenly, the necromancer clapped his hands and stood up from his chair, "Well, that's enough for today. See you tomorrow!"
"What? I want to hear what happened! What did they do to you that made you..."
"If you wish to find out more, visit me tomorrow or ask the damn paladin downstairs. I still have work to do, now that you're not going to blow me up... And on a side note, I moved the furniture before you entered."
"What is that supposed to..." before Celestia could finish the sentence, the necromancer snapped his fingers and the trapdoor opened beneath her.
---
Outside, while the paladin and Applejack were facing off Tobie, princess Luna and Twilight found themselves in a strange battle with the gloved hand. It was fast, much faster than the hand Luna had seen before... and it was clever.
The hand constantly used the gathered crowd as a cover, darting between the ponies' legs at incredible speed and making it impossible for Luna and Twilight to get a good shot at it.
The two mares stood back to back, frantically trying to pinpoint its location only to give off a yelp of surprise when it shot up from somewhere and gave them a good slap across their rears.
"I can't see it! Where is it?" Twilight called out, "This is insane! We need to... OUCH!" there was a loud slap as the hand dived into the grass, the rustling shooting off into the crowd.
"I'll have the necromancer scrub the ceiling of the great hall for this indecency!" Luna was only moments away from a meltdown, her flaming rear fueling her rage even further, "I hope my sister is not going too easy on that..."
Everyone present, even Tobie and the hand froze as a high pitched scream could be heard becoming louder.
The imp in front of the door looked up with a slightly surprised expression, "Was about time he threw her out." he mumbled to himself, some of the other imps nodding in agreement.
Before the ponies' eyes, a clap swung open on the side of the tower and a screaming princess Celestia shot out into the open, giving off a loud thump as she landed on the grass.
"I don't even know if I should be amused or insulted." Celestia groaned as she struggled to get up, "Paladin?"
The paladin gulped, what had he done now? "Yes, princess?"
"I'd like to have a word with you, now."
The silence of the moment was broken by another yelp from Luna as the gloved hand continued its work.
The necromancer walked through his quarters with a sigh, constantly mumbling to himself in thought. He didn't even notice the imp as it entered through one of the doors.
"Boss?"
The necromancer looked up, "Huh? Yeah?"
"Everything okay? You seem a bit troubled..."
He waved a hand, "No no, everything is fine... I'm just wondering about something." he shook his head, "Doesn't matter, guess I'll have to make due with what I have..."
The imp gave him a worried look, "Boss?"
The necromancer turned to the imp, "Get everyone back inside, I think Tobie and Edward had enough fun for one day."
"Okay." the imp hesitated, "Should we open the tower for public access again?"
"What?"
"The locals keep on asking if the tower is going to be open again soon. It seems most of them found the challenges quite entertaining."
"Of course they're entertaining, I made them to be entertaining." the necromancer groaned to himself, "Alright, open it up again and get everything running. But make sure I'm not disturbed, I have a summon to perform."
The imp nodded, but also eyed its master with concern, "You're going to summon him?"
"Yeah, there's something I need from him..." the necromancer flexed his hands.
A heavy sigh escaped the imp, "Do be careful, Boss. You know we can't help you should anything happen."
"Yes, yes... I know. Now leave me to my preparations."
With one last, sullen look the imp bowed and left. None of them liked it when the boss summoned him, it was dangerous and it troubled them more than anything that they couldn't help their boss in any way. But they knew well enough that the necromancer wouldn't drop the issue for anything.
---
When the necromancer was alone inside his quarters, he started his preparations by pushing the furniture to the walls and removing the big carpet from the floor. Underneath, the summoning circle he had burnt into the floor when he had pulled up the tower was still waiting for him. Countless runes in an old and forbidden language ran over the stone floor in circular patterns, glowing a soft red as he eyed them.
There were countless layers besides the ones actually needed for the summon. Runes for protection, runes for containing and control, runes for control of the mana flow, the list went on and on. It had taken him hours to prepare it, but when it came to summons he had learned from experience that one should be prepared. Especially so with this particular summon.
The necromancer stepped into the outer circle, and began to chant, the words coming from nothing but memory since he dared not write them down. Slowly, as the first circles started to glow with more intensity he drew out a small knife. While simultaneously keeping chanting and pouring magic into the circles, he drew the knife over his palm, letting his blood fall into the inner circles. The colors of the runes started to change, slowly taking a color symbolizing the nature of what he intended to summon.
With his last chant, the summoning circle became alive, the runes running in patterns over the floor as the desired summon took form within them. The necromancer felt a shiver run over his skin as he sensed his presence.
Inside the summoning circle, a shadowy figure took form, revealing a dark, tattered cloak and a sharp scythe on a frail and bony shoulder. Two glowing eyes looked out at the world from an empty skull. The grim reaper had arrived.
"I had wondered where you had gone to when I couldn't feel you in your dimension anymore..." the emotionless voice escaped an unmoving mouth, "Why have you..."
The grim reaper was interrupted in his question as the necromancer broke down onto his knees in a fit of laughter.
"What is so amusing?" death asked with an invisible frown, he was not used to being interrupted. Not even by the necromancer.
The necromancer looked up for a second, trying hard to contain himself but breaking into uncontrollable laughter again as he looked death in the face.
"You..." he managed to choke out between holding his sides and struggling for air, "You..."
"What?"
"You're a pony!" the necromancer broke down again, "You look simply adorable! Had I known you'd appear here like that I'd have summoned you way earlier! Death is a grim pony!" he mocked the grim reaper's voice, "I have come to reap the hay! BUWAHAHAHA!" the necromancer started to hammer his fist onto the ground, "I don't believe this! This is so glorious! Oh god, I can't breath... HAHAHA!"
Death gave an annoyed sigh, which was hard without lungs, "It seems you have not lost your sense of humor. But yes, I tend to take the form of the most prominent species present in each dimension. So why..."
The necromancer held up a hand, "Wait! Wait!" he wheezed, "I have to take a picture of this!"
"Why have you called me?" Death asked with a voice that made the runes tremble.
The necromancer sat down on his rear with a sigh and wiped a tear from his eye, "What do you think I called you for?"
"This again? Are you still trying to break the rules of nature?" Death shook his head, "You should know better than that, Aergad."
"Your current form doesn't really help me to take you serious." the necromancer chuckled before calming himself down again, "You know that if I want to finish my work, I need her soul here, and not in the other dimension."
"You know that your attempts are destined to fail, she does not wish to return..."
"Only because she doesn't know what happened! She's lost between planes because she was still waiting for me! Name your price, I want her soul here!" Aergad snapped back.
The grim reaper stared at him with those soulless eyes for a lingering moment, "A soul for a soul. That is what I demand."
The necromancer sneered, "That's it? That's all you want?"
"That is all. But it must be one untainted and pure. Contact me again when you have it." Death paused, "Shouldn't you prepare for a party soon?"
"Why? Am I expected to bring some sort of present?" Aergad asked with a raised eyebrow, "Or do I have to do some tricks?"
"No, you do not. But you are getting blood all over yourself." the grim reaper replied, "Now release me from this seal so I can continue my work."
The necromancer gave a sigh and released the binding seal, the pony form of death disappearing immediately. "A pure soul?" he mumbled to himself, "Shouldn't be too hard around here... though Celestia is probably going to trip her balls when she finds out." he chuckled, "Well then, lets see where this goes..."
There was a knock on his door, "Boss? You in there?"
"Yeah, I'm here... what is it?"
The imp entered and approached him, noticing his bleeding hand with worry, "It's about one of the guests, boss."
Aergad raised an eyebrow, "What about them?"
The imp held up a small vial. Inside, a green drop of blood was suspended in a clear liquid, "I don't think this one is a pony."
"So..." the necromancer said with amusement, "This is the one?"
"Yes, boss." the imp gave the pony a poke with a thin finger, making it squirm in its ropes. The imps had jumped it during its challenge, and tied it up with ropes in mere seconds. It always surprised him a bit how good they were at these kind of things. The brown mare had already been squirming wildly when he had arrived, but the moment she saw him she doubled her efforts to escape.
The imp chuckled as he watched her squirm, "Should we just eat her now or do you want us to cook her?"
The mare's eyes shot open and she looked around herself in terror. Off to the side, an imp was slowly working a hatchet over a whetstone, the grinding sound echoing sharply within the chamber. For a moment, it looked up from its work and gave her a big, toothy grin while running a testing thumb along the blade. The mare started to panic.
"Easy now, easy now. Let's have a look first at what we are dealing with." Aergad chuckled as he walked up to the mare with a kind smile and bent down to her, "Madam, I am sure this is just a big misunderstanding. Let me assure you that we'll be getting you right out of this mess and back home." he started to undo the gag in her mouth.
The mare seemed to relax a bit at his words. She started to talk, but before she could mouth a word the necromancer cut her off, "Could you answer me one question first? If I travel back into the past to kill myself, but set aside a fresh-baked pie before I do, what temperature will the water in the bathtub have?"
The mare just blinked at him with big eyes and at a complete loss for words, "I... I... What?" He could almost see the gears in her head grinding, but he knew it would lead her nowhere. Then, as her confusion reached its peak, it happened. For a single second, the shapeshifter lost its concentration and Aergad saw her true form.
He scratched his chin with a wry smile, "So even if not much concentration is required, you still need some to uphold the illusion? Impressive... but not the best I've seen."
The mare just stared at him with an open mouth, not believing she had been found out so easily.
Aergad waved a dismissive hand with a small laugh, "Don't worry about it, I've seen shapeshifters in all shapes and sizes." his face suddenly became so serious that it sent a shiver down her back, "So drop it. You're not fooling anyone."
For a moment, she hesitated. But seeing as there was no other thing she could do, she finally let the illusion fall away.
"Alright." he clapped his hands, "Now we're making progress. Let's see now..." he called out to one of the imps, "Did you get it?"
"Sure thing, boss." the imp handed him a book.
"Are you really going to eat me?" she eyed the imp with the hatchet with dismay, it was still working it on the whetstone with a big grin.
"Quiet now... I'm reading." he flipped through the pages of the book, "There we are... Changeling..." he mumbled a few words to himself as he read the lines, "Interesting." he turned to her, "Can you do bipeds as well?"
She frowned, "We can... but we're not good at walking on two legs so..." she looked around herself nervously, "Could you..."
He cut her off again with a big grin, "What about alicorns? Can you do those?" he started to make gestures with his hands, "Like, could you do Celestia? With a really big butt? Then I could have you prance around the town and declare that everyone has to give her cake or she'll sit on them!" he chuckled, "That would be awesome! I can already see the look on her face when they all send her cake!"
"Alicorns are really hard..." the changeling mumbled, feeling slightly irritated at his strange behavior. She had expected some kind of interrogation, but this seemed far from it. The imps though, seemed keen to do something entirely different with her. They had been giving her evil smirks the whole time.
"No alicorns, huh?" he replied with a sigh, "Well then, that leaves only one issue..." he grinned, "You."
The changeling swallowed, what was he going to do with her?
"First off, introductions! I, am the necromancer." he grinned at her.
"I know..." she frowned, "I'm Xerghis..."
"A pleasure to meet you! I'd shake your hoof, or whatever you call it, but it seems you're a bit bound at the moment." he laughed, the imps chuckling darkly with him.
"What are you going to do with me?" she asked.
He gave her a contemplating look, "Difficult to say... there's still the idea of cooking you..." the imp with the hatchet looked up form his work with a happy grin and Xerghis paled considerably, "But then again, what are you doing in my tower? It says here you feed off love." he held up the book, "Can't really see you getting much of that here..."
"We feed off many emotions... love is just the strongest one." she replied, "But there are all kind of emotions here for me to collect... and the challenges are fun." she mumbled the last words out sheepishly.
"Mmm..." he flicked his wrist, and a scroll of paper appeared in his fingers, "Let's see now... Buttercup." he raised an eyebrow and gave her an amused look, "Seriously?" he shook his head with a laugh, "I know the ponies have a strange ideas when it comes to names, but that's just taking it too far." Xerghis blushed.
"Well now... you did, the challenge of the comfy sheets?" a big grin appeared on his face as she blushed even deeper, "And you even made it to the third bed, impressive." the scroll disappeared again, "So, after you collect the emotions... I take it you bring them back to your hive?" she nodded, careful of what information to give him.
He clapped his hands with glee, "Excellent! Now then, when you head back to your hive, be so kind as to relay a message to your leader."
Xerghis eyed him with an uneasy look, "What kind of message?"
His grin widened even further, making her cringe as she saw too many of his teeth and a maniacal look in his eyes, "An invitation to tea, of course! What else?"
Off to the side, the imp put the hatchet down with an unsatisfied humph. Some meat would have been nice for a change... then again, the boss always did enjoy new toys.
Pinkie's party was fun for the most part. The necromancer had arrived in a flash of light and throwing confetti in all directions, much to the joy of Pinkie. He made idle chat here and there, but most ponies only had questions about his challenges, which bored him to no extent.
So instead, he focused on the various pastries and drinks, trying as much as he could until his tongue couldn't deal with any more sugar. Strangely though, Aergad found himself becoming more and more depressed as he continued to watch the party from the side. Everyone was enjoying the party, the paladin was nowhere to be seen and even Twilight wasn't pestering him with questions, which was nice. So why couldn't he enjoy it?
Was it the fact that there was no alcohol? No, that couldn't be it. He normally drank when he was upset, which he had been a lot in the past. And in his drunken ravings he had even created some of his most ingenious creations, thought his imps certainly disagreed with him on that point. But what was wrong with a child-like ghoul screaming she loved you while trying to grind your face off with a cheese grater?
Was he upset because he had smoked up his last batch of tobacco? A bit, admitted. Smoking had always been one of his favorite activities, but that wasn't causing this. He'd probably manage to grow a batch of his own over time anyway, or he'd find something else to smoke. He chuckled to himself, after all, if it comes out of the ground, people should be able to smoke it.
But then what was it? His conversation with Death? No, that had been more than amusing, in spite of the sore subject of her soul. The changelings certainly weren't something he was worried about, he'd have his fun with them or just incinerate the little buggers if they tried to make a fool of him.
He shook his head and tried to clear his thoughts, feeling himself slide deeper in his sour mood. What was it? The only thing left was... he could feel himself frown as he realized the source of his mood, his talk with Celestia. He had never enjoyed talking with deities, and he had never liked to think about his past, much less even so talking to anyone about it.
"What's her aim?" he mumbled to himself, "Talking like she cares or could understand... lives in fucking candy land that stuck-up..."
"Howdy there." a voice interrupted his rambling. He looked down and at an orange mare with a big hat on her head, "Everythin' alright? You looked a bit glum over here all alone so I came to give you some company."
The necromancer stared at her with a blank expression, "Who are you?"
"Ah shucks, sorry for not introducing myself." she laughed, "I'm Applejack, this here is the barn of my family."
A farmer... great, he mentally groaned. "I'm the necromancer." he replied with a weak smile, "Nice barn you have here."
"Thanks!" she smiled at him, "You got yourself quite the tower as much as Ah saw. Can't wait to see it from the inside for myself!"
He didn't reply to her comment, but just continued to stare at her.
"So..." she seemed a bit taken aback by his silence, "Somethin' bothering you?"
Aergad frowned, he had no intention to talk about his worries with anyone and he still felt unhappy at having talked with Celestia about them. In his mood, the necromancer did what he had always done when he wanted to avoid a conversation, he changed the subject.
An evil thought crossed his mind, "Do you have pigs on your farm?"
Applejack tilted her head, slightly confused but smiled at him nonetheless, "Sure do. Why?"
A small, devilish smile appeared on his lips, "Would you sell me one of them?"
This time, it was Applejack's turn to frown, "What for?"
"For a barbeque."
Applejack's frown became bigger, "You want to buy a pig so you can eat with it at a barbeque? Why would you..."
He cut her off, "I don't want to eat with it at the barbeque... I want to eat it at the barbeque."
The moment his words had sunk in, Applejack's eyes became big as dinner plates, "You want to WHAT?!" she asked in a mix of horror and rage.
He crossed his arms defiantly, "Well that's what you have them for, don't you?"
"We certainly don't!" she hollered at him, "They eat what refuse falls off and help keep the ground open! They're members of the family to us!" she took an angered step towards him, "Ah have a mind to drag you right outside and make you apologize!"
By now, the whole barn had turned to the two of them and was watching their fight with worried glances. But before any of them could react, the necromancer turned to the crowd with a huge smile, "And now, it is time for me to entertain you with a joyful magic trick!"
"What?! Don't think you're gettin' out of this that easy!" Applejack took another step towards him, but at a motion of his hands, she started to float into the air.
"First, take an overly excited mare." he laughed, "Make her do a few spins... chant the magic words, ALAKAZAM!" there was a loud puff, "And there you have the most adorable little pony you have ever seen!"
In his palm, he held a miniature Applejack, shouting furiously at him with a tiny voice. Under the thundering applause of the ponies, he put her on the table next to the punch bowl and placed a glass over her. Somewhere to the side, he could see Twilight Sparkle next to a laughing Rainbow Dash scribble down notes, probably trying to note down the spell.
"The next time someone asks something you don't like..." he whispered to Applejack, "Try to remain calm and polite." and with that, he slunk off and out of the barn. He had certainly had enough of the party for today, and farm girls always had a big, brawny brother somewhere, so a tactical retreat would be good for now.
---
Outside the barn, he drew in a deep breath to calm himself. She had seemed generally concerned and friendly, but like he had said before, he wasn't here to make friends. He still wondered, had he overreacted? Probably. Did he care right now? No. Would Celestia gnaw his ear off if she heard? Likely, but seeing her try would be fun.
Putting aside teleportation for the moment, he decided to walk back to his tower... and immediately regretted it as he saw the paladin approach. He stopped on the road and waited for her to close the distance.
"You're a bit late, I'm afraid." he said as she came close to him, "The party has already started, but it's dull anyway..."
"I'm not here for the party." she wheezed.
"Were you running?" he asked with a frown.
"I was looking for you." she replied with less spite than he was used to, "I couldn't find you at the tower so I figured you'd be here..." she took another breath.
"Please don't tell me you're going to give me a life counseling..." he groaned, "And please! No more prayers! I'll have nightmares for weeks!"
"Could you just be serious for one moment?" she cast him an annoyed glare.
He grinned widely, "On such a beautiful night? Where would the fun be in that?"
"We need to talk." Calindria said with a serious voice.
"Do we?" he chuckled, "You're not going to try and chop my head off?"
She ignored his remark and put on a determined face, "I need to see your arms."
The moment the words had left her mouth, Aergad's face and eyes became as cold as ice and the paladin could actually feel the wind around them come to a halt. For the first time in the countless times she had looked into his face, she actually shuddered.
He stared into her eyes, his brow furrowed and his features hard as stone, not even the tiniest sign of a smile on his lips, "So it's about that... is it?"
Calindria's mouth felt dry, but she managed to choke the words out, "I need to see it for myself. Please, let me see your arms."
The necromancer stared at her for another, agonizing moment. Then, he slowly lifted his arms and held them out before her, not the slightest emotion on his face as he watched her.
Slowly, with trembling hands the paladin reached out and took a hold of the sleeves that went down to his wrists. Taking a deep breath she pulled them upwards... and froze as she stared at his lower arms in utter disbelief.
"Not what you had hoped for?" he gave her a dry laugh, "Funny how the brightest lights always cast the biggest shadows, isn't it?"
On the underside of the necromancer's both arms, and burnt into his flesh for all eternity two symbols of the sun stared back at the paladin, the scars broken at the edges and a sickly red. A sad memento to the hospitality of the order of the light.
For what seemed like minutes, the paladin stood frozen before him, his arms in her hands and her gaze locked on the burn marks that decorated them... until he grew tired of it.
The necromancer pulled his arms out of her grasp with a sigh, readjusting his robes around his wrists once more and hiding the scars. His gazed followed her shocked, frozen expression, "Come on now..." he raised an eyebrow with a weak smile, "Surely, you can't be that surprised?"
"I can't believe it..." she whispered, still frozen with her hands out, "I... it's impossible... it's forbidden!" she looked up into his face, "They simply couldn't have! The Order proclaimed this form of exorcism illegal!" her voice was becoming louder and louder with each word.
A sad laugh escaped him, "Tell that to the guy with the branding iron..." he leaned his head back and closed his eyes before starting to chant the words from memory, "And by the blessing of the Lord's holy and purifying sun... the fires of life shall cleanse you from your wretched demons and sins... and then... sizzle... the smell of burnt skin and everything that came with it..." he opened his eyes again and looked at her, "They always took those psalms a bit too... seriously, didn't they? Or maybe I'm just standing on the wrong side of the fence?"
The paladin continued to stare at him, "But why?"
"Why?" he gave her a slightly annoyed look, "What do you think? Mengus would have looked like a fool if he tore up half the city and all they could present the Order was some low-life kid living in the sewers. So he became desperate and did what he always does, bend the rules a bit... declare it was demons all along and that only by his sheer sacrifice and faith he was able to save a child from the grasps of evil..."
"That's not what I meant!" she gave him an angry glare, "Why did you save me?!"
He sneered, "This again? I have no obligation to..." he was stopped as she grabbed him by the collar of his robes.
"Stop it already! I realize by now that you could have killed me all along! I'm not that dumb! You could have let me die back when the portal crashed as well! Even in the forest you could have just left! And still... after all the Order has done to you, after all I did to you... Why?! Why did you save me?!"
He looked at her with a calm face and slowly reached up to undo her hands from his collar, "You remind me of her..." he replied with a sad smile, "Naive... but kind." a small laugh escaped his lips as he watched her puzzled face, "More naive than kind though..." he turned around and started to walk back to his tower, "See you around..."
"How..." Aergad stopped as he heard her voice, "How am I supposed to carry on like this?" he turned around to see Calindria had sunk onto her knees, "How can I continue to believe that the Order stands for all that is right when they did something like that?" she looked up at him, "What do I do now?"
The necromancer shook his head with a smile, "Carry on, of course. What else? Just because the Order is made up of nothing else but dicks doesn't mean you've got to be one too. As far as I'm concerned, you're more of a nuisance than one of them anyway..." he chuckled, "So do what you do best. Be that paladin that you always wanted to be and annoy me some more... I still got a ton of challenges just for you, after all." he turned around and continued his way, "And I'll be the necromancer that I always wanted to be... wicked, but genuinely awesome."
---
Aergad had been walking for half an hour, his mind constantly swaying between his past and these last days before he heard a small stampede approach his position from behind, "Great." he mumbled, "Here comes the cavalry..." he stopped and turned around to look back up the road.
Just like he expected, the damn ponies were on his tracks... There was Applejack, and boy did she look furious. Next to her was Twilight... he scratched his chin in thought, what was the rest of her name again? There was also a yellow pegasus he didn't recognize, but she definitely looked angry too. The necromancer gave a sigh and waited for them to approach.
"There you are!" Applejack hollered as she ran towards him, "Wait till I get my hooves on you!"
"What is it?" he replied with a casual voice, "Do you want me to shrink you again? Or should I turn you into a frog?"
The three ponies came to a halt before him... or at least two of them. The yellow pegasus chose to hover in front of his face instead, giving him a glare that would've put a pit demon to shame, "You big meanie! You're going to apologize to Applejack! And then you're going to go back there and apologize to Calindria for making her cry!"
He stared into her eyes with an impassive gaze, "Nope." he flicked her nose with a finger, making her flinch and snap out of her glare, "That stare may work on animals and the lot... but I've seen worse. So, bug off." he turned to the other two, "Applejack was a bit too unfriendly for my tastes, so I gave her a chance to cool off..." Aergad turned back to Fluttershy, "As for the paladin... she's not crying because of something I did, but because of something I didn't."
The necromancer saw Fluttershy's and the other ponies' puzzled expressions and shook his head with a groan, "Why am I even bothering? Damn ponies don't know anything..." he muttered and turned around to continue his walk again.
"I challenge you..."
The necromancer stopped dead in his tracks, "What was that?" he asked with a quiet voice as he turned around slowly.
Twilight glared at him, "I challenge you to a magic duel! If I win, you're going to apologize to Applejack and Calindria! You're going to take friendship lessons... And you're going to teach me some of your magic!"
Aergad stared at her with an unmoving face, "And what if I win?" his voice was a tone lower than usual.
As Twilight continued to glare at him, a small smile appeared on her face. She was certain, if the paladin and princess Celestia could handle him, then she could too.
"What do you want?"
The necromancer stared at her for another moment. Then, a wicked thought crossed his mind and an evil grin spread on his face. This, he decided... he would enjoy.
The necromancer was finding this task a bit more... complicated than he had at first anticipated. He had fought duels before, of course. The paladin hadn't been the only one disturbing his work. There had always been mages, aspiring sorcerers and the occasional low-grade necromancer trying to steal his books, which had inadvertently led to magic duels... which he had won, always. But this was a bit more... delicate.
He sighed as he flicked through the pages of a small book, "Let's see... what should I choose? Incineration? No..." a blast of purple energy grazed off his shield, "I don't want to kill her... or do I?" another blast shattered on his shield, laying waste to the grass and earth around him, "Maybe lightning? But what if she has a heart condition? Or should I turn her inside out? No... that wouldn't do at all."
He looked for a moment as another blast hit the shield straight on, "Are you healthy? Have there been any cases of heart diseases in your family?" another bolt of magic bounced of his shield without effect.
"AARRGH!" Twilight gave a shout of anger, "Stop making fun of me!" her mane and tail started to burn like fire and her eyes started to glow. Twilight started to charge up another blast. Up to now all of her attacks had simply bounced of the shield the necromancer had pulled up, but she was sure that if she put enough power into it the barrier would surely break... Twilight deadpanned, and looked around herself in confusion.
The magic she had been gathering and concentrating until a moment ago was gone... simply vanished. Even her mane was back to normal... What was going on?
"Settle down over there..." Twilight's gaze turned to the necromancer, one of his hands was stretched towards her and glowing in a soft lavender tone, "I'm still trying to decide whether to burn you or turn you into a closet." he looked up from his book for a moment to give her an annoyed look, "Are you even sure you know how duels work or would you like to do some more research first?"
Twilight's eye began to twitch with frustration. How had he taken her magic away? The princess had mentioned that he wielded a form of magic the likes of which she had not seen before, but Twilight hadn't expected something like this. And that blasted shield... it drove her nuts. No matter how many magic blast she had shot at it, they had simply glanced off them like... like light hitting a mirror. Twilight's eyes widened in realization, it wasn't a shield, it was a mirror spell. But that meant...
The necromancer interrupted the study of his little book of spells to look up for a second "You wouldn't happen to be allergic to nuts, by a chance?" and saw a huge branch flying towards him, "Huh... "
Off to the side, Applejack gave a cheer as the branch passed through the necromancer's shield, hit him square in the stomach and sent him sailing several feet through the air, "You go Twilight! Show him how we ponies do things!"
Twilight watched his unmoving form on the ground with a tiny smile. Just as she had thought, the mirror spell only worked on magic or solid objects, not both. She waited for him to move, was it a trap or had she won already? Somehow she doubted that this fight would end that easily.
On the ground, the necromancer was inspecting the clouds with a hurt feeling of pride and he realized, he longer cared. If the little unicorn had figured out the weakness of his shield, then she'd find a way to survive a real attack as well... probably. Aergad concentrated and started to whisper silent chants, the clouds above him starting to gather and darken at an unnatural pace.
Twilight watched him as he held up the book and closed it with a snap before returning it to his robes, "Hey, Twilight!" he called out to her without getting up, "Pony got hit by lightning said what?"
Her concentration given way to confusion for a moment, Twilight tilted her head, "What?"
The moment she had mouthed the word, the necromancer pointed a finger upwards with a smirk, "Exactly..."
Above Twilight Sparkle, the sky gave its answer.
---
Princess Luna looked up from her work and outside the window for a moment. Had she just heard thunder? At this time of year? Luna shook her head with a sigh and concentrated on her work again, she'd have to talk about this with the weather patrol on the next occasion. It was far too early for this type of weather.
---
Aergad walked through Ponyville with a happy smile on his face but couldn't help but feel a bit worried. Maybe he had overdone it a bit but then again, she had challenged him to a duel. He shook his head with a small sigh.
Twilight had still been alive when he had left, though slightly charred and lying inside a small crater unconscious. The lightning bolt had been weakened considerably, a full powered blast would have turned her to nothing but ashes. She would feel it the next day, but she'd survive... probably. After all, her two friends were taking care of her. He'd collect her debt in the morning, if she had recovered by then.
As he arrived at his tower though, he spotted a figure waiting for him in the shadows of the entrance. He raised an eyebrow in surprise, "I had not expected you this quickly."
The figure stepped out off the shadows of his tower and into the moonlight, a jagged horn and a black carapace glinting softly, "Neither had I expected for my scouts to be found out so easily." a feminine voice spoke up, "Judging by your robes, you must be the necromancer."
The necromancer gave a curt bow, "Guilty as charged. Judging by your... size, you must be the leader of the changelings."
A set of green eyes watched him with interest, "I am queen Chrysalis, ruler of the changelings." a small smile appeared on her face, "I have observed your battle with Twilight Sparkle, I must say... it was quite entertaining."
He waved a dismissive hand, "She asked for it... not that it's going to stop Celestia from chewing my ear off for it, I'm afraid." he stepped up to her and inspected her form, "Well now, should we get inside?" he motioned to the tower with a smile of his own, the doors opening at an unseen command and by themselves.
Chrysalis watched him with mistrust, "And what would we do inside your tower that we can not do out here?" untold to him, she felt a bit at unease at being so close to Ponyville. She wasn't even sure why she had come to see him. At first she had been furious at Xerghis for being discovered, but the message and the tales the scout had brought had been interesting indeed.
There were of course, several drones waiting nearby to jump to her aid should she need it. However, stepping into his tower would cut her off from them. It had been an unusual bout of curiosity on her side at first she had to admit, but considering the fact he had beaten Twilight Sparkle with such ease she was still distrustful of his intentions.
"Have tea, of course!" he laughed as he beckoned her to enter with a grin on his lips, "And then, we can discuss business."
Chrysalis studied his face for several moments, trying to see if he was planning anything but aside from his smile, she could see nothing. With a deep breath and her head held up high, she stepped into the tower.
"Would you like some sugar with your tea?" the necromancer asked with a grin as he went about setting up the cups.
Chrysalis eyed him with a skeptical look, "We changelings don't..."
"I know, I know..." he waved a dismissive hand as he interrupted her, "But still, would you like some sugar with your tea?"
"A bit." Chrysalis replied with a raised eyebrow. She couldn't help but feel slightly amused by his behavior, he seemed to be not the slightest bit intimidated by her presence... If anything at all, he even seemed to be joyous about her being here, "What did you really invite me here for?"
"Well..." he sighed as he placed two cups of tea on the small table, "I always thought that trades should be done face to face... so why not have a good cup of tea while we are at it?" he chuckled.
Again, Chrysalis eyed him with scepticism, "And what kind of trade do you wish to conduct with me?"
He clapped his hands, "Tea first..." he pulled out a small flask, "You are going to love this!"
She watched him unscrew the lid with an almost playful motion, and her confusion grew as he poured some of the liquid into both of their cups. Chrysalis watched the cups with distrust, "What is that?"
A smile crossed Aergad's lips as he picked up his cup and took a sip, "Try it... Like I said, you'll love it!"
Seeing as it had no effect on him, Chrysalis hesitated for a moment but then brought the cup up to her lips and ever so tentatively, she took a sip.
The moment the tea had entered her mouth, Chrysalis' eyes widened in surprise. She watched the cup before her in utter disbelief, but then she downed the whole cup in one fluid motion with a happy sigh.
"See?" the necromancer chuckled as he watched her wanton display, "You love it."
"I don't believe this..." Chrysalis whispered as she watched the now empty cup before her with wonder, "How is this possible?" she eyed his grinning face with amazement, "There are emotions in this tea!"
"Not so much in tea, directly..." he chuckled as he showed her the flask again, "But in here, there is the gathered-up joy of a full pony party graciously provided by Pinkie Pie... I figured that as long as I was there I could gather some up."
"You can turn emotions liquid?" Chrysalis asked, her voice shaking with excitement.
"Not exactly..." he explained, "This is actually just water. But with a little enchantment on the bottle, it acts as storage and filters out the emotions around it." he placed the bottle on the small table with a sinister grin, "Interested?"
Chrysalis watched the bottle before her like a child staring at an unknown, beautiful toy. Did he realize what he had just done? What it could mean for their entire race? Her gaze traveled over his face and in spite of his idiotic grin one look at his eyes was enough to tell her... he did.
Her eyes narrowed and she carefully asked, "What do you want?"
---
Several minutes later, Chrysalis still wasn't sure what to think of his offer. Was he really serious about this? She pushed aside her doubt, this was a chance to free her race of their hunger and a road to a better future, so she would run along... for now at least.
What he was about to do next still served to unnerve her though, "Are you really sure this is necessary?"
"Of course it is, my dear." he replied with a chuckle as the floating hand prepared a piece of paper. Chrysalis frowned at his choice of words... no one had ever dared called her 'dear' before but she quickly got a hold of her temper. The next step would require her to be as cool-tempered as possible.
"Alright, alright..." he scratched his chin in thought, "Let's see now. How should we go about this?" he snapped his fingers, "Okay. Got it." Aergad turned to his hand, "You ready?"
The hand showed him its quill and hovered over the piece of parchment, waiting for his words.
"Dear princess Celestia..." he started, "First off, a big sorry for blowing up Twilight..." he turned to Chrysalis, "What was her full name again? I always forget..."
"Twilight Sparkle." Chrysalis commented with a sour voice.
"Thanks. Now... picking up where we left." he coughed, "A big sorry for blowing up Twilight Sparkle." the hand scribbled away furiously, "I know she's your student and all, but she did challenge me to a duel and I am sure she will be completely recovered by tomorrow." he started to walk around the chamber as the hand continued to write.
"Anyway, to the matter at hand." he grinned, "Right at this moment, I have the lovely queen of changelings, Chrysalis herself, over for tea."
"She is going to go insane when she reads this..." Chrysalis mumbled as she put another shot from the little flask into her tea, "I can't believe he isn't already standing next to that prattling old fool in her garden..."
"As it is, the two of us have come to the startling realization that there is the possibility of a trade that all of us could profit from." he paused as he waited for the hand to catch up, "Please, be so kind as to join us for a cup of tea and to discuss the terms of our business at your earliest convenience... but seriously, you should come within the next five minutes as I am running out of tea. Love, the necromancer."
Aergad put his hands behind his back with a satisfied grin as the hand finished its work, "Finished? Let's see it!" he picked up the paper and let his eyes wander over it, "NO!" his shout made Chrysalis jump in surprise and the hand cringed, "These are all cocks! Why would you even..." he paused, "Actually... these are pretty good." he turned the paper so Chrysalis could see it, "What do you think? The little guy even drew in shadows to add depth."
Chrysalis' cheeks turned a crimson red before she tore her eyes away from the grotesque display, "Are you insane?" she shouted at him.
"I see..." he scratched his chin as he observed the drawings, "They are a bit out of proportion, aren't they?" he turned to the hand, "Alright, B+ for effort, we'll send it to Luna along with the real letter for Celestia. Now get on that letter and send it out once you're done..." he looked outside his window and into the night outside, "I'm finally going to be able to continue my work!"
Behind him, the hand wrote down his earlier words with a furious pace, delighted that it would get to send Luna its gift.
The necromancer tapped his foot on the floor with impatience, "Any minute now..."
Chrysalis shook her head, "I am starting to have doubts if it is a good idea to include Celestia in this trade... Surely it could be done without the ponies' knowledge?"
"Oh it could, no doubts about that..." he smiled, "But research is so much more simple when it isn't illegal, isn't it now?"
"Still..." Chrysalis commented with a worried expression, "How will she react to my presence?"
"She'll be delighted, of course!" the necromancer saw Chrysalis deadpan, "Lighten up. There's a trap door under your seat in case you need to make a hasty retreat anyway."
She looked down herself and at the floor in surprise, "There is?" she quickly shifted her seat a few feet to the side as she scrutinized the floor, "Where does it lead to?"
"Heck if I know..." he raised an eyebrow, "Haven't tried that one yet... probably goes outside."
"Probably?" Chrysalis asked with an unamused voice.
"Maybe..." he grinned at her, "For all I know it could lead to the torture chamber as well. I can't think about everything I do, can I now?"
Before their discussion could continue any further, there was a bright flash inside the chamber and a clearly aggravated Celestia appeared in front of the necromancer, "You are by far the most impossible man I have ever met!" she glared at him.
"I'm the only man you have met yet." he replied with a kind smile.
"What did you send my sister that made her lock herself in her chambers?! And what is this I hear about my student Twilight Sparkle and you in a duel..." she trailed off as she spotted Chrysalis sit at the table and take another sip from her cup, "I don't believe it." she whispered with clear disbelief.
"I can't blame you..." Chrysalis replied with an even voice as she lowered her cup, "I find it hard to believe it myself."
Celestia whirled back around to give the necromancer and accusing glare, "I thought you were playing a cruel joke on my part but you have clearly gone insane this time!"
"I haven't..." he leaned to the side to look at Chrysalis, "Have I gone insane?" Aergad asked with a contemplating voice.
"Hard to say..." Chrysalis mumbled in response.
"Why is she here?!" Celestia thundered at him with anger, "Do you even know who she is? What are you scheming?!"
The necromancer ignored her question and eyed her mane with amusement instead, "Are you wearing hair rollers? At your age?" making Celestia blush and her eye twitch.
---
A good ten minutes later, princess Celestia had calmed down considerably and after removing the hair rollers from her hair, the three of them were sitting at the table with stern expressions... at least two of them.
"So that I understand this correctly..." Celestia summed up what she had just learned, "You can enchant vessels to gather the emotions given off by those around them." the necromancer nodded with a happy grin, "And you plan to distribute them among my subjects in order to feed the changelings?" again, he nodded.
"Let me be clear on this..." Chrysalis spoke up, "If this will work, it would finally put aside the need for us to collect the emotions in disguise or by force. It would solve one of the oldest and most dire problems of our race... and it would open the possibility for a more... diplomatic relation between the changelings and equestrians."
Celestia listened to her words before turning to the necromancer with a frown on her face, "That is all good and well... I would indeed welcome such a solution. But still, you mentioned a trade in your letter... What is my part in all of this?"
"Well..." he sighed, "Seeing as I'd be the one doing all the actual work, I'd of course be demanding some sort of compensation."
"What do you want?" Celestia asked with skeptical voice.
"I need bodies..."
"No." her reply was immediate.
He continued, "Dead bodies to be precise..."
"The answer is still no." she cast him a glare.
"Hear me out on this." Aergad held up his hands defensively, "I have already discussed the matter with Chrysalis, and she would be more than willing to supply them to me."
Celestia gave Chrysalis an unbelieving look, but she only shrugged, "We changelings have no use for the dead, and we do not believe in burials or the rites of rest. For us, a dead body is just that... If he has use for our dead, then I have no concern in supplying them to him in return for his work."
"So there really wouldn't be the need for you to supply them..." the necromancer continued, "Your graves hold no interest to me."
"Then what is my part in this?" Celestia eyed him with doubt.
"Legalize my research. Make an exception so I can continue my studies." he spread his hands, "If we are really going to do this, I want to be sure not to commit any crimes while doing so."
"And what interest do you have in the corpses of changelings?" Celestia asked with slight disgust.
"They're abilities as shape shifters, of course." he replied with a casual voice, "It'll take some time for me to figure everything out, but when I do, I'll be able to bring them close to human bodies for sure... And I'll be able to conduct my research on them instead."
"You're talking about the reanimation?" Celestia asked with a skeptical face, "I am not sure if I can agree to something like this... nor am I sure that what you propose would actually be possible."
He sighed, "Neither am I... but I'm willing to give it a try." he chuckled, "Even if it all turns out to be impossible after all, you'll still have the changeling issue solved once and for all." Aergad searched her face for an answer, "So, do we have a deal? You'll let me continue my work and bring your world closer to harmony and peace in the process?"
Celestia let her gaze travel over both Chrysalis' and the necromancer's face, both of them were looking at her with hope in their eyes, though Chrysalis evidently tried to hide her anxiety. Countless scenarios and possible results rushed through her head... Allowing the necromancer to experiment on changeling corpses? That was indeed a very troubling thought... but this was also an opportunity to bring forth a new era of peace between them and the changelings. Would she be willing to give up such an offer simply because his own, personal ideas offended her?
She closed her eyes and played over the options she had over and over again... but in the end, she already knew that she desired peace with the changelings. The possibilities offered by a friendly relationship between their two species were simply too promising.
Celestia opened her eyes again, "I will allow it." a huge grin spread over Aergad's lips, "But I will make three conditions. First, you will not tell any of my subjects about the subject of the changeling bodies... it would not stand well should this become public." Chrysalis nodded, "Second, I will make the existence of the vessels and their purpose public, so that my subjects know of them and can decide for themselves if they accept them into their homes."
"I can agree to that..." the necromancer raised an eyebrow, "What's the third?"
"The third condition concerns your research." Celestia replied with a frown, "I wish to be informed on what you are doing inside your tower at all times. For this reason, the paladin will survey all of your research and report to me on a regular basis. Should I find her reports too troubling or your work a threat to public safety, you will stop your research immediately. And I will come personally from time to time to check on your work myself."
Aergad bit his lower lip... That condition didn't sit well with him at all, not a bit. "Why must it be her?"
"Because neither my sister nor I have the time or patience to watch over you at all times." Celestia replied, "And I trust Calindria to care enough about the safety of my subjects to report any troubling findings to me immediately." she paused, "These are my conditions. Take them or leave them."
"Can't it be that student of yours instead?"
"No. I do not wish to burden her with such a task. Also, I fear that her curiosity might get a hold of her. I have no desire for her to attempt to copy your... art." she mouthed the last word with unease.
The necromancer rubbed his temples, "That is... one heck of a condition."
Chrysalis watched him with a troubled expression, "Surely, that can not be such big a problem for you?"
"You have no idea, my dear." The thought of the paladin standing behind him during his work already served to send shivers down his spine... but for the sake of her soul, he would do it. "Very well..." he sighed, "I'll agree to your conditions. But you'll be the one to spill the beans to the paladin. I can imagine she's not going to be very pleased about this." he paused, "She wouldn't believe it coming from anyone else anyway."
Celestia nodded, "Good. It is decided then." she turned to Chrysalis, "Once everything is set up, I expect a diplomatic visit from you to show your good intentions... and you still owe princess Cadence and her husband an apology."
Chrysalis groaned, that would be a hard task for her indeed, "I'm am not happy about this, but for the sake of my people... I will comply." somewhere in the back of her mind she wished the necromancer had put more power into his lightning blast, then at least she'd be sure she wouldn't have to meet Celestia's student again.
Princess Celestia nodded, "Then all parties of this trade agree on the terms and conditions. I will prepare everything needed at once and inform everyone involved as well. I bid you goodbye until our next meeting." with a flash of light, Celestia had disappeared again.
"How annoying..." the necromancer mumbled to himself, "Making us agree to such silly conditions."
"Indeed..." Chrysalis replied with a sour voice, "I can already see the face of that idiotic captain Shining Armor."
"Huh? You know him?" he raised an eyebrow with surprise.
"I do... far better than his wife would like, I am certain." Chrysalis put on a small smirk, "What is your history with him?"
He chuckled, "I turned the little cunt into a goldfish since he was so annoying..." a conspiring smile appeared on his lips, "Also..."
"Also?" Chrysalis asked with curious voice.
"When I changed him back, I may have made a certain part of him glow in the dark." a sinister chuckle escaped him, "I'm surprised he hasn't shown up yet, he's probably enjoying it way too much to complain about it."
A small blush appeared on Chrysalis' cheeks as she laughed with him, "My, my... you certainly are a devious one, aren't you?"
"Just impulsive, I'm afraid." he fished another flask from his robes, "Care for another round of tea with shots to celebrate?"
Even though she had been feeling a slight high since her last cup of happy party emotions, a wicked smile spread over Chrysalis' lips, "How could I say no to that?"
---
A good hour later, the necromancer was laughing so hard that tears appeared in his eyes, "Oh god, no more! This is simply not fair!" he bawled as he watched Chrysalis, "Do that other one again! The one with the butt!"
Chrysalis groaned as she downed another cup of pure party emotions with a red face, "Alright, alright..." she slurred, "But this is the final time!"
There was a flash of green light and instead of the changeling queen, it was now princess Celestia that stood in front of him... with an impossibly huge behind no less. "Oh my..." she mimicked Celestia's motherly voice as she pranced around his chambers with her rear swinging from side to side wildly, "Our stocks have run out of cake ingredients? I simply can not imagine where those all went..." she knocked over a small shelf as the necromancer rolled over the floor, laughing helplessly at her display.
"Wait! Wait!" he got to his knees gasping for air, "I know just the thing to make this even better!" a small flash came from his hands.
As Chrysalis watched his spell take effect her eyes went wide and a big grin appeared on her face, "Oh, this... this will be glorious!"
---
The two guards walked the streets of Ponyville, just as bored as they always were. Nothing curious ever happened in Ponyville... A scream interrupted their boredom as something ran towards them. What came running around the corner though, was too much for them to even comprehend.
It was a cake... a huge cake with white frosting and two legs pumping furiously as it sped around the houses screaming, "Help! Princess Celestia has turned me into a cake and is trying to eat me!"
As if on queue, the said princess shot around the same corner with a hungry look to her eyes and a huge butt whirling through the air as she rounded the corner, "Come back here and let yourself be devoured!" she shouted with a maniacal voice, "Fulfill your ruler's desire and make my glorious rear wider!"
Both the cake and their princess shot past the two guards, all the while laughing manically as they stirred up dust. When they disappeared around another corner and from view the two guards just stood there, frozen in their position with unbelieving faces for what seemed like minutes.
"Should we report this?" one of them finally asked to no one in particular with a shaky voice.
The other guard shook himself wildly, as if awaking from a horrible dream, "Report what? I didn't see nothin'... did you see anything?"
The first guard shook his head with a nervous laugh, "Nope. Didn't see a thing. Especially no running cakes."
"Right then... just the usual boring night..." the two of them looked at one another, "Seriously though, if stuff like this is going to happen again in the future, I'm leaving service."
"I hear that." replied the other one. He silently hoped he wouldn't be the next to be turned into cake, "I wonder what color my frosting would have..."
---
In the entrance of the shadowy tower, the now human-again necromancer and the queen of the changelings were panting heavily from their wild chase through Ponyville.
"Did you see their faces?!" Aergad laughed as he gasped for air, "That was so worth the effort!" he eyed her with a big grin, "I think I'm falling in love!"
Chrysalis laughed as she gasped for air herself, "Don't get any wrong ideas, I'm normally far more composed. This is merely to deepen our official affairs."
He chuckled as he fished yet another flask from his robes, "Well then, how about we deepen them some more?"
"Why did I ever agree to this?" Twilight mumbled with an upset voice, "And who does he think he is just throwing lightning around like that? He could have seriously hurt somepony!" she continued her way towards his tower with a pouting face. She had lost the duel with him the day before, and she still felt a bit numb in her legs. Not to mention that it taken her a full two hours to stop twitching when she had regained consciousness. Right now though, something else was troubling her... her debt.
For a moment, she hoped that maybe, just maybe... the necromancer had already forgotten about the terms of their duel. Surely, he had already found some other insane way to entertain himself? That short moment of hope was crushed though, when Twilight saw that one of his imps was already waiting for her at the entrance of the necromancer's tower.
"You're late." the imp greeted her with an impatient voice, "And you're not dressed as demanded."
Twilight cringed, "Do I really have to?"
"The conditions were clear." the imp put its fists to its side, "If you lost, which you did, you'd have to be his maid for a whole day..." it raised an eyebrow with a smirk, "In a maid uniform no less."
"Urgh..." Twilight groaned, "Does it really have to be with a maid uniform?"
"It does."
Twilight eyed the imp with a small smile, "Well, I don't have one so..."
"No problem." the imp interrupted her, "We have one for you." Out of nothing, the imp reached behind itself and pulled out a uniform which Twilight could already tell, was more than degrading, "Now put it on and get to work." the imp tossed her the uniform.
Twilight gave an undignified humph, but seeing as there was no alternative she put it on. She wanted to get this over with as quickly as possible. The imp watched her with an impassive face, "You're unbelievable, by the way..."
"What?" Twilight asked as she struggled with the uniform, "What makes you say that?"
The imp frowned, "Challenging the boss to a duel? That's just foolish in more ways than one. You're lucky you're up and walking again so quickly. Either he was in a really good mood..." the imp sighed, "Or something was troubling him. One way or the other, don't do something like that again... I don't even understand what made you challenge him in the first place."
Twilight's gaze searched the imp's face, "How powerful is he really?"
"How powerful?" the imp asked with a surprised huff, "The fact that you ask that question shows that you don't understand a single thing." it held up a finger, "Here's a little lesson... Power is nothing."
"But..."
"Power is nothing." the imp repeated with a stern voice, "When he called that lightning blast, did you even for one moment feel him channel the magic? Could you feel the flow as it passed between him and the sky?"
Twilight's eyes widened with sudden realization, "No.. I couldn't. Nor could I whenever he did any other spells before... But how does he do it then?"
"As I said..." the imp repeated, "Power is nothing. It's about control. A whisper is enough to move mountains sometimes."
"That doesn't make sense." Twilight frowned, "How do you move mountains with a whisper?"
The imp groaned in dismay, "Like I said, you don't understand a single thing." it started to head for the doors, "Come on, lets go inside and get you started. You've got a lot of work waiting for you, egg head."
Twilight pouted, "Well at least tell me how powerful he really is!"
The imp stopped and turned around for a moment to look at her with a strange look in its eyes, "Just so you know, I'll tell you this. There are two necromancers behind those eyes of his... one smiling, and one that's not. You should pray that you never meet the other one."
"Two necromancers? What's that supposed to..."
Before Twilight could finish her question, the doors of the tower were opened from the inside, and a sight that would forever haunt her stepped forth.
"That was the most beautiful night I ever had!" slurred a clearly intoxicated queen Chrysalis, wobbling on her hooves as she held onto the necromancer for support.
"It certainly was, my dear." he replied with a chuckle, "Are you sure I can not interest you in another tour of the tower? There are still so many fun challenges to be seen!"
"I'd love to, but I do have a nation of my own to take care of..." she sighed, "But I'm sure we'll meet again."
"I can hardly await it, my dear." the necromancer chuckled.
Chrysalis leaned up to give him a peck on his check, "Neither can I, my dear..." she noticed Twilight's petrified expression, "Oh my, is that Twilight Sparkle I see? In a maid uniform no less?" she gave the necromancer a smirk, "You certainly are a devious one... I shall look forth to our next encounter with impatience." she detached herself from him, "I shall leave you to your games for now." she chuckled, "Males need their playtime after all, so long then."
"You are too gracious, my dear. Have a safe journey!" he waved her a goodbye as she took off.
As Chrysalis' form started to shrink in the distance, the necromancer turned to Twilight, "Up and about already? I must say, I am impressed... and that uniform is just stunning, if I may add."
"I..." Twilight was at a complete loss of words, "What... Do you even know who that was just now?! That was queen Chrysalis! I have to inform the princess..."
"She already knows." Aergad interrupted her, "The three of us have made a deal concerning the future development of your country, so you should be thankful."
"What?!"
The necromancer sighed, "Celestia will explain it to you in due time, I am sure. But for now..." a grin spread his lips, "I think there is a debt you have to fulfill. Isn't there?"
---
Somewhere during the second hour of her duties, Twilight gave off a shout of frustration, "What do you need all those crayons for anyway?! This whole place is a mess!" the flying baboons only shrugged, they were enjoying watching her clean up the challenge room they had left in a complete disorder.
"If you have time to complain you've got time to work." the imp commented from its seat on a small chair, "Now get to it! The kraken needs to be fed next..." a small smile appeared on its face, "And I think it left a small surprise for you in its den. Actually, it's a big surprise, if you catch my drift. You might want to bring a shovel."
---
In the depths of the tower, far under the earth and hidden from spying eyes, the necromancer finished a summon that he had performed many times before. As his chants took effect, a small figure bent over a long stick started to rise from the glowing ground within the symbols he had written on it.
"Ahh! Aergad! I had been wondering when you would call me again." the demon leaned on its staff with a happy smile, "How can I be of service today?"
"Just a few things that are hard to get a hold of in this world, Zhergons." Aergad replied, "Only commodities today, I'm afraid."
"Huh? That's an unusual one." Zhergons raised an eyebrow, "But trade is trade. Though I probably won't be making much of a profit when you're not buying rare ingredients like you usually do... So, what can I supply you with?"
The necromancer tossed him a scroll, "Here's a list, can you supply?"
Zhergons' gaze traveled over the list with a short motion of his eyes, "A bit unusual for me to supply things like this... but nothing I can't handle. The question is... can you pay?"
With a smile, Aergad pulled out a small vial with a drop of red blood suspended inside it, one of many he had already collected. The demons eyes lightened up considerably as it saw the contents, "What do you think?" the necromancer put on a wicked grin, "I'm sure I can offer something you want in exchange for your services."
The demon grinned, "That, my dear friend... I am sure of as well."
---
After another grueling hour of feeding the kraken, Twilight had finally made her way up into the necromancer's chambers. The mess that awaited her there was even worse than anything she could have imagined.
"How can anypony live like this?" she growled, "This place looks like a battlefield!"
Immediately, she got to work, picking up books from the ground, rearranging overthrown furniture and cleaning up liquids and stains she would rather not try to identify. Had there been a celebration? Not even Pinkie left her parties in such a mess. As she continued her work though, her gaze traveled over the many books scattered on the floor and she realized with a moment of surprise... these, were spell books.
Twilight quickly checked on the imp to the side, it was sleeping on its chair.
She returned her attention to the countless little books, the secrets within them calling out to her. Would she really steal them to sate her curiosity? No... she shook her head, it wouldn't be stealing. She would borrow one, just one. He probably wouldn't notice anyway and she would finally get some answers about his magic. She'd simply sneak it back in on the next occasion.
Making a fast decision, Twilight quickly picked up one of the books at random and hid it under the folds of her costume. Unknown to her, the writing on the cover said 'Advanced Summons' in bold letters... a warning to the reader to what was hidden within it.
"Alright, lets see now..." Zhergons went over the list, "That's five barrels of ale, three crates of dried meat, two barrels of cider and six crates of esterian pipe weed." he looked up at the necromancer, "Did I miss anything?"
"Did you get the rum?" the necromancer asked with an anxious voice.
The demon tapped a crate next to him, "Finest Ruby Coast rum for you, I'll even throw in a bottle of Athron Blood Eye free of charge for my favorite customer."
"Great. I think that's about everything... so how much do I owe you?"
"Lets see now..." the demon brought forth a slide rule, "Considering that these aren't standard commodities for me... adding the fees for the summoning and general trade taxes..."
"Can't believe the plain lords actually introduced those." the necromancer commented with a chuckle.
"Don't I know it..." Zhergons sighed, "And they're still looking for you, by the way."
"I know, I know..." he waved a dismissive hand.
"You should take it a bit more seriously." the demon raised an eyebrow, "I hear that the Succubi Sisters even issued a warrant for your capture. Alive and unharmed, nonetheless." he chuckled, "I actually envy you for that one."
"Don't. You can't even begin to imagine how relentless that clan is. I swear, I almost died of fatigue after I summoned the first one... couldn't feel my hips for days."
"And they've been looking for you ever since, not to mention that episode with the Pain Lord... if I hear correctly he wants you alive as well... for one of his little diner parties."
The necromancer shivered, "That insufferable oaf always did have a taste I couldn't appreciate. So how high is the bounty?"
"High enough that you should worry." Zhergons replied with a serious voice, "The lesser demons are jumping for a chance to be on your tail. What ever did you do to make him that furious anyway? He's threatened to cut off the tongues of anyone that dares to even speak about what you did."
Aergad laughed, "I turned his favorite hell dogs into ducks." Zhergons paled, "And then I set fire to them..." the demon paled even more, "You can not imagine the fun I had listening to all of those frantic quacks!"
The demon rubbed his temples, "Sometimes, I wonder if you're not just looking for a painful way to get yourself killed... not that the pain lord would make it quick though." he sighed.
"Fun times." the necromancer chuckled, "So how much do I owe you?"
"Well..." Zhergons continued his calculations, "I'd say about one hundred and twenty vials."
"That's just cruel." Aergad replied, "I'd say about forty should be fine."
The demon put on a mortified expression, "Forty? I'd be the laughing stock of all seven planes! I charge twenty alone for the summon!"
"Let me sweeten the deal for you a bit then." the necromancer grinned as he pulled out a small gem from his robes, it was giving off a soft blue glow from the inside.
The moment the demon saw it his eyes got wide, "Is that what I think it is?" he could barely hide his hunger.
"Grade A pixie soul..." the necromancer turned the gem between his fingers with a small sigh, "Poor thing died a violent death too, got eaten by a badger."
Zhergons swallowed hard and started to stammer as his gaze never left the small gem, "Rose... or sunflower pixie?" sweat started to form on his brow, "Or maybe... maybe even daffodil?!"
A small, wicked smile appeared on the necromancer's lips, "Snow flower." If the demon's jaw could have dropped any further they would have, "Sounds interesting? I hear they have a very unique taste to them..." he let the gem dance over his fingers, chuckling as the demon started to shiver, "Though I can't help feeling it would be a little too much for..." he started to put it back into his robes.
"Wait! Wait! Wait!" Zhergons held up a frantic hand, "I'll throw in two more crates of finest Lesthar demon wine!" the necromancer raised an eyebrow and the demon cringed, "Alright! Alright! I'll even add a flask of pit demon brandy from my personal reserves! Just please... don't put it away!"
Aergad smiled, "Well now, sounds like we have a deal."
The demon held his head low in defeat, "My wife is going to kill me if she ever finds out."
The necromancer chuckled, "Which one? The one with the two heads or the one with three arms?"
"Both, I'm afraid."
"Send them my regards when they do... Those curtains they made me were absolutely lovely."
Zhergons groaned, "They'll be delighted to hear it."
---
Having returned from a full day of hard labor in the necromancer's tower, Twilight gave a sigh as she flopped down in her basement. She hadn't seen the necromancer during her day of work, but at least that had spared her a small bit of the embarassment. It still served to make her feel absolutely undignified. The imps had told her she could keep the uniform, seeing as it fit her so nicely... she had stuffed it into her trash the moment she got home.
Now though, all of her attention rested on the small book lying in front of her and she realized, that there was a problem she had not thought of before... She couldn't read it. The whole book was written in a language Twilight was completely unfamiliar with.
Strangely enough though, and much to Twilight's dismay... her translation spells weren't working as she had expected. Only small parts of the book had been transformed successfully, the broken portions of text telling her that the book was actually written in four different languages... not to mention the countless runes which she couldn't even begin to identify.
Twilight pouted as she flipped through the pages, but after a while she managed to pick out a few spells she actually thought she could perform with the little information given. She picked up a piece of chalk, and got to work. It took her half an hour to put down what she had identified as the circle required for the summoning. There was another circle mentioned at the beginning of the book, but seeing as it wasn't translated and that it was only at the beginning of the book she skipped it.
Unknown to her, the second circle was the enchantment required for containment.
As she finished drawing the last runes onto the floor, Twilight flipped through the pages once more and chose a spell. Concentrating her magic into the circle, she started to chant words of an unknown language in the dark of her basement.
Slowly, the runes started to glow in a soft red, and before Twilight's startled eyes something started to rise out of the glowing circle. At first, she could see horns, then a huge head with too many eyes and flames dancing from a mouth with sharp teeth turned to her as it poked out of the ground, "AHrkas Shrarska arARa?" a deep voice rumbled at her.
Twilight's jaw dropped, her concentration broke and the head disappeared from view as the summoning was interrupted before it had even truly started. A small drop of sweat ran down her brow, "Okay... lets not do that one again..."
She flipped through the pages again, determined to give the summon another shot. When she had selected one she thought more promising, she started to chant again.
Once more, the runes started to glow... but with a much deeper red this time. A small, tiny form started to grow from the glowing cycle, a head smaller than the imps. Spurred by the promise of success, Twilight continued to chant.
When she finally finished her chants, the Lord of Pain had arrived.
"Hahaha!" a small voice laughed maniacally, "Tremble in fear and despair! The lord of pain has arrived! Bow before me puny mort..." he stopped to look down at his form, "What in the name of the eight gates is this?!" he turned to Twilight, "Did you summon me?!" she put on a sheepish look.
The little demon fumed, "Insolent brat! Return me to my plane this instant! I refuse to appear in such a ridiculous and weak form! I shall eat your soul for this..." he stopped, and looked down at the circle. A sneer appeared on his little face, "The necromancer! I'd recognize those designs anywhere!" he turned to Twilight, "Where is he?!"
"Uhmm..." Twilight frowned, "I don't think I should..."
"Wait a second!" the demon studied the circle, "You didn't put down the second circle?" a sinister laugh escaped the demon's mouth, "Now, finally I shall have my vengeance! This world shall burn for my entertainment!" he gave her a smirk, "Goodbye." and with a snap of his tiny fingers, he disappeared... leaving behind an absolutely shocked Twilight Sparkle.
---
In his rage and hunger for vengeance, the Lord of Pain never paused to actually consider that in effect of Twilight's faulty summon, his current form held no real power... and the problem would not become apparant to him until he actually found the necromancer.
Princess Luna shifted her wings slightly as she descended towards Ponyville. She would have a serious word with the necromancer... and then she would ask him to make her some hands. Luna shook her head, what was she thinking? She refocused on her anger. She would put a stop to his constant shenanigans once and for all.
As she approached Ponyville though, she was surprised to see Twilight Sparkle head towards the tower in a mad dash.
"Twilight Sparkle." Luna landed next to Twilight, "What brings you here at this time of night?"
Twilight cringed and a guilty look spread over her features as she looked around herself nervously, "I... I may have done something not so good..."
Luna raised an eyebrow, but before she could ask any further a scream shook the tower.
"WHAT. THE. FUCK?!"
The upper portion of the necromancer's tower exploded into a fireball, blasting the roof clear off of the tower as the shock wave shook the very ground they were standing upon.
As Twilight Sparkle and princess Luna watched in horror beneath, more blasts of fire and thunder started to shoot forth from the windows and walls of the tower, blowing out pieces and chunks of the stone walls as more explosions rocked the ground.
To the side, the door of the little house was thrown open and the paladin stormed outside with her shield and sword at the ready, "What in the light is going on? I heard an explosion!" she ran towards Luna and Twilight with frantic steps.
While Calindria was running towards the tower, the explosions from inside continued and slowly spiraled their way down the tower as more pieces of the outside wall were turned into rubble. At the base, the large doors were thrown open and countless imps could be seen dashing outside with terrified expressions, "Go for cover!" one of them shouted.
From the inside of the tower, the necromancer's voice could be heard thundering over the countless explosions of fire and lightning, "COME BACK HERE YOU LITTLE FUCK! I'LL TEAR YOUR FUCKING EYES OUT AND FEED THEM TO YOU!"
The sounds of explosions accompanied by the necromancer's screaming quickly drew nearer to the entrance, and as both Luna and the paladin readied themselves for an onslaught an additional high-pitched voice could be heard screaming in terror.
All of those present outside the tower found themselves at a complete loss for what happened next.
As a huge missile of black fire shot outside the doors and over their heads, a tiny demon came running outside with huge eyes and screaming wildly as its little legs struggled to keep pace. Behind the small demon, the necromancer could be heard shouting like a mad man, "Stop that demon before he gets a chance to teleport!"
Acting out of instinct, the paladin whirled about and brought her shield down with a practiced motion, the demon crashing into it like a fly into a wall and giving off a loud smack as it collided with the wall of steel. Before it could get back to its feet, princess Luna enveloped it within a magical field and held it tightly in place.
While two of them were observing the little demon with curiosity as it groaned and held its tiny head, one of them was watching it with a growing feeling of horror in her guts. All of their eyes turned away from the demon though... as the necromancer stepped outside the tower. None of them believed what they were seeing.
He was burning.
His whole form was covered in blue flames that danced over his robes as his eyes glowed with a sinister red. Each step he took made sparks fly and the air shudder with his anger. As he watched the little demon struggle furiously, a grin appeared on his lips so sinister that it made all of those present shiver, "Well... well. Look what the cat dragged in..." he chuckled deeply, "Sticks and stones will break your bones, and words will never heal you... Loved that shield bash, by the way." he gave the paladin a wink.
A mad laugh escaped his lips as he bent over the trembling demon and spoke with a grim voice, "I am going to forcefully shove so many burning-hot things up your ass it's going to stop being funny." his grin widened, "I may even have to expand my torture chamber just for you... My imps will have to work overtime but it's going to be so worth it! I have a full book with little surprises waiting for you..." the demon started to cry in terror.
"Who is this?" Luna managed to stammer as she eyed his burning form.
"That, my dear princess, is the Lord of Pain himself. Ruler of sixty demon legions, keeper of the third plane and torturer of dreamless sleepers..." a chuckle escaped his lips as he brought two fingers together, "I have been waiting so long for a chance like this... I don't know what made you think you could appear in a form like that without getting your ass grilled..." he pulled the fingers apart, a line of cracking electricity forming between them, "But I am going to enjoy this..."
The Lord of Pain looked around himself desperately... and spotted the symbol on the paladin's shield.
"Asylum!" he wailed in horror, "You, paladin of the Order of Light! I beg you for sanctuary!"
The paladin raised an eyebrow, "What makes you think I would grant a demon asylum? As far as I am concerned, if you came here to cause trouble, your butt is his." she nodded to the grinning necromancer.
"No! Please! I did not come here by myself! I was called for!" he turned to princess Luna with tears in his little eyes, "You! Deity of this dimension! By all that is right, protect me from him! I'll do anything! I'll even suck your..."
"Wait!" the necromancer's flames died in an instant, "What was that?!" he ignored Luna's startled look, "Let me get this straight... Somebody called you?" his voice was nothing more but a malevolent whisper at this point, "Who called you?"
As Twilight watched frozen in terror, the Lord of Pain pointed a trembling finger towards her, "She did..."
---
Half way through Ponyville, a screaming Twilight Sparkle was surprised at how fast she was capable of running... and horrified at how well the necromancer was matching her pace.
"Come back here!" he thundered behind her, "Stealing my books?! Summoning a demon lord?! The fucking Lord of Pain himself?! FUCKING UNICORNS!" he snarled, "I'll turn you into a cricket and swallow you whole you blasted idiot! Then I'll spit you out and do it again! Come here!"
As he continued to chase after her, all the while throwing more angered shouts and the occasional spell after her, the necromancer couldn't help but wonder... How had she even managed to perform a summon like that?! He'd have to make her tell him how she did that once he had finished turning her into a selection of household accessories... he'd start with a lavatory brush first, then a box of matches... and then the Lord of Pain would be next in line.
---
Back at the tower, while the imps already went about repairing the damages, the paladin and princess Luna watched over Ponyville with unbelieving faces. Occasionally, a flash of light could be seen coming from the streets as the necromancer continued his angered chase.
"Shouldn't you... you know, help her or something?" the paladin asked.
"I would..." Luna commented with a quiet voice, "But I'd rather not let go of the Lord of Pain here..." she gave the little demon trapped inside her magical field a doubting look, "The presence of a demon lord, no matter in what form, does pose a threat."
The paladin shrugged, "I say let the necromancer deal with him..." in the distance, a small explosion could be heard coming from Ponyville... the demon started to grow pale. "I'd rather worry about what he's going to do once he catches up with her..."
Luna shook her head with a sigh, "I'd better stop him before he blows up Ponyville..." a small glow escaped her horn, and a collar with a leash attached itself around the demon lord's neck. She handed the leash to Calindria, "This is an anti-magic collar... keep a good hold of him while I go and find those two." with those words, she set off into the air and flew towards Ponyville.
As the paladin and the Lord of Pain watched princess Luna leave, the demon spoke up with a trembling voice, "Please don't give me to Aergad..."
"Shut it... or I'll stomp on you." the paladin gave the leash a yank before giving the Lord of Pain a surprised look, "Aergad?"
When princess Luna finally found the necromancer, he was standing in a small alley with a smug look on his face and an ice cream cone in his hand.
"Hey." as she landed, he greeted her with a smile that betrayed his former rage, "How is my favorite princess of the night doing?"
Luna ignored his strange demeanor for a moment and looked around herself with uncertainty, "Where is Twilight Sparkle?"
The necromancer gave her a blank look as he gave the ice cream a lick, "Who?"
Luna frowned, "Twilight Sparkle, student of my sister and element of magic? You chased her?"
He scratched his head, "Really? I did? Are you sure?"
Luna's frown deepened, "I am. Where is she?"
The necromancer seemed impassive to her frown, "Is she a little unicorn? Purple coat?" he held out a hand, "About this high?"
"Yes." Luna replied with a dry voice, the way he was acting made her worry even more about Twilight.
Aergad shrugged, "Haven't seen her." he gave the ice cream another lick, "Sorry."
Luna studied his face, just what was he trying to play here? Then, she took a moment to observe the ice cream he was holding... it was purple.
A strange silence spread over the alley as Luna simply stared at the necromancer with big eyes, "Please tell me that's not what I think it is..."
"This?" he pointed to the cone, "Ice cream." he flashed her a smile as he gave it another lick, "Tastes like grapes too, you want to try?"
"You turned Twilight Sparkle into food?!"
"Who?"
"Have you gone insane?!" she almost shouted at him.
The necromancer gave her a skeptical look, "You do have a point... ice cream may just be a little bit out of season." he gave the purple ball another lick, "Oh, well..."
"Stop eating her!" Luna thundered at him, "Turn her back this instant!"
"But it's grape! Grape is my favorite!" he whined, seemingly unimpressed at her use of the royal voice. He licked his hand where the ice cream was starting to dribble, "Eww... it's starting to melt..."
Before Aergad could finish his sentence, Luna had stepped up to him so close that their noses were actually touching, "Turn her back, now!"
He gave her a blank stare, as if trying to judge something. Finally, "I can't." he saw Luna's frown and quickly held up a hand, "I can't, because this isn't Twilight."
"This better not be one of your games." Luna growled at him, "If that there is not Twilight Sparkle, where is she then?"
The necromancer used his free hand to reach inside his robes, "Well, if you have to know..." he held up a little box, "She's in here."
Luna eyed the little box, it was barely large enough to fit an apple inside. She gave him a deadpan look and shook her head, "No, seriously. Where is Twilight Sparkle?"
"What's that reaction supposed to be?" Aergad returned her sullen expression, "Don't you trust in the wonders of magic?" the necromancer gave a humph before sticking the ice cream cone into the ground, "Alright then, watch me do what I do best! Amaze!" slowly, he started to open the little box.
When the lid had come off about an inch, a voice escaped the small box, "Hello?! Is anypony there?!"
"Twilight! Are you well? Where are you?"
"Princess Luna? Is that you?... I'm not sure where I am... this place is... strange..." Twilight's voice sounded distant and she seemed to be stressed.
Luna gave Aergad a glare, "How do I get her out?"
The necromancer smiled, "Easy. First, you take the box..." Luna used her magic to grab the box, "Then, you open it..." Luna opened the lid fully, "And then, you take a look inside."
Luna hesitated for a moment, but then took a look inside the box... and the world around her seemed to shift. The next moment, she found herself falling into darkness.
The necromancer closed the lid of the box with a small chuckle, "I said it before, I know. But I'll say it again. You're pretty easily fooled for someone who is said to be so wise..."
---
Calindria looked up from her position as she the necromancer approach the tower. She felt slightly worried when she saw neither Twilight Sparkle nor princess Luna in his company, but that was nothing compared to what she had just found out. The Lord of Pain had just told her some very strange things.
"Aergad..." she spoke up when he got closer, "Where are the princess and Twilight Sparkle?"
"Oh, you found out my name?" he gave a surprised huff, "Doesn't matter now, I guess." he tossed her a small box, "Here, catch."
The paladin caught the little box in her free hand and eyed it with curiosity, but before she could ask him what it was a bright ray of red light escaped the necromaner's hands and impacted with the demon's head at her side. The explosion and the heat that resulted from the impact sent the paladin flying to the ground and blinded her eyes.
When she got to her feet again, she saw him crouch over where the demon lord had stood just a moment ago. All that remained of the demon were ashes. But as she watched, the necromancer started to chant words in a language she had never heard before and a shining red light started to rise from the ashes before him.
For a moment, it simply hovered before him. Then, with a twist of his wrist he pulled forth a small gem, continuing to chant during his actions. The light flickered for a moment, pulsated... and then jumped into the gem.
The necromancer stood up and gave the now glowing gem an approving look, "Grade A demon lord soul..." he chuckled, "This will be sure to be worth something."
"You killed him?!" the paladin was unsure whether to applaud or to scold him for his actions.
"Sure did. Caught his soul too." he chuckled, "Considering the recent events I decided to move along a bit faster." he placed the gem inside his robes, "Be sure to tell Twilight to thank me for it. This way, she'll get to keep her soul a bit longer."
"Her soul?" Calindria gave him a skeptical look, "What's that supposed to mean?"
He gave a groan, "Simple basics... you summon a demon, you pay a price. The bigger the demon, the bigger the price. You actually summon a demon lord..." he laughed, "No matter how petty his form... You pay with your soul. Long story short, when she summoned the little fellow, she gave up her soul. But as long as he stays with me, she won't have to pay her debt... And I won't have to worry about the rest of the demon world finding out where I am." he whispered the last sentence to himself, shuddering at the thought.
The paladin nodded, "That's good then... I guess. But where are Twilight and the princess?"
The necromancer pointed a finger to the little box in her hand, "They're inside the box. Little word of advice, don't try to look inside. You'll probably want to call in Celestia on this, I'm not sure they'll figure out how to get out by themselves."
"Can't you just let them out?"
"I could..." he chuckled, "But where would the fun be in that? Besides... this is part of Twilight's punishment." The necromancer gave a yawn, "Well, that's settled then... I think I'm going to go for a walk in the forest. Tell Twilight to bring me back my book if she does get out! Just a reminder..." he called out as he left the paladin standing at the tower, "Don't try to look inside... you'll regret it."
"Wait!" she called out, "There's something I need to know. The demon lord... he told me something."
Aergad stopped, but did not turn around, "Did he tell you my name?" his voice sounded strained.
"He did... he also told me something about your father. He said that..."
"Whatever he told you... I don't want to hear it." the necromancer shook his head, "And I advise you keep it to yourself. There are things nobody needs to know... especially Celestia." she could not see his face, but his voice carried something that made it clear to Calindria that this was a delicate subject, "It would only cause problems..."
With those words said, the necromancer left her behind.
---
"Princess? Is that you?"
"Twilight Sparkle! It is good to see you are well... but where are we?"
Twilight shook her head, "I don't know! One moment I was hiding behind some barrels, then I saw a little box and then..."
"You were falling?" Luna finished her sentence with a sigh, "I should not have trusted him so easily." she looked around herself, the two of them were standing on a seemingly endless plane of charred and broken rocks, a red sky silently looming above them, "I worry what this place holds in store for us."
Twilight looked up at the sky, "It's really strange, I've been walking around but it all looks the same wherever I go..." she put on a nervous face, "And I think I'm being followed."
A short distance from the two ponies, a hundred tiny spears held by a hundred even smaller hands slowly crept nearer.
"Hello?! Anybody home?!" the necromancer's voice could be heard through the large slab of stone blocking the entrance to the tunnels, "I know you're in there, I can hear you wankers!"
On the other side of the stone, one of the changelings gave his brethren a confused look, "He can't really hear us, can he?"
Another changeling shook its head, "No way... What's a wanker?"
"How should I know?"
"How did he even find the entrance?"
"I don't know! Should we tell the queen?"
"We don't even know what this thing is!"
"I think one of the scouts accompanying the queen talked about seeing something strange in Ponyville..."
"Well get them. Maybe they'll not what it is!"
"Hey!" the changelings stopped their discussion as the necromancer's voice could be heard again, "I hope you guys won't miss your rock!" the stone exploded into thousands of shards, covering the changelings in dust as something shot past them and down the dark tunnels with a wild laugh, "Because I am making an entrance!"
---
"My queen!" Chrysalis raised an eyebrow as one of her guards came rushing into her thrown room, "One of the entrances to the hive has been breached!"
"What?!" she didn't believe her ears, "Who dares enter my hive without my permission?!" her eyes glowed with a venomous green, "How many intruders are attacking?"
"Well..." the changeling suddenly became nervous, "It's just one, actually..."
"One?!" Chrysalis' eyes narrowed, "You let yourself be defeated by a single opponent?!" her voice became threatening, "And yet you dare step before me?"
"He hasn't actually attacked anyone..." the changeling cringed, "He's just running through the tunnels like a lunatic and shouting profanities at everyone he passes... We did try to catch him once, but he used some sort of magic to evade us."
"He?" a small smile appeared on her lips and her voice changed its tone drastically, something that nearly scared the changeling out of its wits, "Tell me... is he a bipedal in black clothes with a maniacal grin?"
The changeling swallowed, "He is, my queen... and he has been laughing all along the way. I think he even called out your name on several occasions."
"Where is he right now?" Chrysalis got up from her throne.
"In the abandoned east tunnels, my queen. Scouting group three has taken up the trail already... it appears he has become lost."
---
The necromancer had indeed become lost, not that it really bothered him at this point. It was way too much fun... plus, he had gotten himself a guide. Though a very reluctant one at that.
"Stop! Let me go this instant!" Xhergis squirmed in his pocket. She had been walking down a tunnel, minding her own business when out of the blue the necromancer had shot around a corner with at least a good dozen guards in chase and laughing like a crazed idiot. He had recognized her immediately, which was already bad enough... but when he shrunk her and stuffed her into one of his pockets... not to mention the used tissues.
"No way, Buttercup!" he laughed as he shot on through the dark, "This place is amazing! I love it!" he suddenly came to halt, "Where did the guards go?" Xhergis stuck her head out of his pocket to see him look around himself with a disappointed expression, "Did they already give up?"
"You idiot!" Xhergis tried to shout at him, "We're in the abandoned tunnels! No one comes down here anymore!"
"Huh..." he huffed, "Can't see why not. It certainly has charm... could use some torches though." with a flick of his wrist, a small light came to life above him, illuminating the dark tunnel, "Certainly brings back memories. Do you think I could rent some space down here?"
"Why are you even here? Aren't you supposed to be in Ponyville?"
"That place is boring." he stretched his legs, "Do you think they'll catch up? If I shrink enough of you guys we could play a really cool chess game!"
"You are insane! Queen Chrysalis is going to be furious!"
"Oh, come on!" he petted her head with a smile, "Last time we met she was such a good guest!" he sighed, "The fun we had... where is she anyway?"
"I am right here." a set of green eyes glowed softly as queen Chrysalis stepped forth from the dark, "The next time you plan to visit, do give me a notice before. My guards are in a state of panic." a small smile appeared on her lips, "I see you have already found Xhergis on your way."
"Who?" he looked down at the small head sticking out of his pocket, "Oh, Buttercup! I figured I should get a guide..."
Chrysalis shook her head, "And the rest of the guards? The ones that tried to catch you?"
"What about them?" he tilted his head with a grin.
"How long will it take for your spell to lose effect?" Chrysalis asked with a small frown, "Some of them seem to think they are mushrooms."
"They should be alright in a few minutes..." he gave an amused laugh, "The illusion never holds for that long."
"And why are you not in Ponyville? I had presumed that you would partake in the upcoming festivities."
"Festivities? What are they celebrating?"
"Nightmare Night, of course." Chrysalis replied with slight surprise, "You did not know yet?"
Aergad scratched his head, "Nightmare what now?"
---
"So that I understand this correctly..." Celestia watched the paladin with disbelief, "The necromancer, Aergad... told you that both Twilight and my sister are inside this box?" she eyed the small box before her with suspicion.
The paladin nodded, "He also said I shouldn't try to look inside."
Celestia gave a short nod, "And it was good that you did not. There is a very strong enchantment on this item. Step back a bit, I will try to open it." she set the box down in the grass a few feet away from them, then she used her magic to carefully pull the lid open.
The moment she did, shouts could be heard coming out of the box.
"What are these things?! There are hundreds of them!" Twilight could be heard shouting... she sounded clearly distressed.
"I don't know!" they heard Luna curse, "Unhand us now you vile creatures! Why is my magic not working?!"
"Luna, Twilight!" Celestia called out, "Can you hear me?"
"Princess Celestia? Is that you?!"
"Sister, do not look into the box less you will be trapped as well!" there was a short pause, "Why are thy preparing a fire? And that pot..." there was a short pause, "They're going to cook us! Savages!"
"They're going to do what?!" Twilight could be heard wailing in shock, "Princess! Save us!"
"Where is the necromancer?" Celestia looked around herself desperately, only to spot one of the imps standing guard at the doors of the tower, "You! Where is your master?! Have him undo this at once!"
The imp gave her a curious look, "Why? What did he do this time?" it walked up to Celestia with a lazy pace and looked at the box on the ground, "Haven't seen that one for a while..." it gave a shrug, "So what about it?"
"They're adding vegetables!" Twilight could be heard shouting.
"Oh..." the imp raised an eyebrow, "So he put the book thief in there?"
"Book thief?" Celestia gave it an incredulous look, "What is the meaning of this?"
The imp gave an impassive yawn, "You can ask your sister about it, she knows. Where did she go anyway?"
"She's inside that box as well!" Celestia shouted at it, "How do we get them out?!"
"Why?" the imp asked without interest, "The pygmies are good hosts... some of the best stew I ever had."
"The water is starting to boil!" Luna could be heard shouting furiously among the thumping of hundreds of little spears, "Do something!"
"Alright, that's enough." Calindria drew her sword and took a step towards the box.
Before she could reach it, something shot past her and the other two... it was a hand. The moment they saw it, the hand had already jumped into the box. Immediately, countless shouts of rage could be heard from the open container, accompanied by numerous slaps.
"You know what?" the paladin sighed, "I don't even care anymore." and with those words, she stepped forward, looked into the box... and was gone.
Inside the box, steel could be heard clashing with wooden spears and pygmy skulls.
Outside the box, both Celestia and the imp stared at the small container of wood with surprise, "Huh..." the imp finally managed to huff, "Fancy that... I hope the pygmies have spare pots."
Celestia gave it a glare, "How do we get them out?! Tell me this instant!"
"How am I supposed to know? It's not like the boss tells us everything." the imp scratched its chin, "Did you try turning it around and giving it a good shake?"
"Calindria? Are you still there?" Celestia called out with worry. The rampage inside the small box had gone on for some time, but then it had suddenly ceased. Even the constant slapping had come to an abrupt end. All that could be heard now, was the constant thumping of hundreds of little spears. The imp, after having gotten bored had left minutes ago.
"I'm still here..." the paladin's hesitant voice could be heard coming out of the box, "They got me... sorry."
"At least you tried." Twilight tried to console her.
"Yeah... didn't help much though..." the paladin replied, "What are these things anyway? There's like hundreds of them!"
"I do not know." Luna remarked, "But if I am not mistaken they are preparing additional pots..."
There was a short pause.
"Get us out of here!" the paladin could be heard struggling furiously, "Where is that bloody necromancer?! I'll have his head for this!"
Celestia watched the box in panic, trying her best to think of a way to get her friends out of the trap. She carefully took a step closer, maybe there was a detail to it she had missed? As long as she wouldn't look inside, surely she should be able to do something.
In her concentration, Celestia failed to notice the figure that had walked up behind her. And she failed to notice it until a foot was placed on her rear and a strong shove was given, making her stumble towards the open box with a yelp. In her surprise, Celestia looked down and inside.
"And in you go."
The next moment Celestia found herself on a seemingly endless plane of charred and broken rocks... and surrounded by a horde of creatures she had never seen before. They were tiny, not even coming up to her knees and wearing bizarre, painted masks of wood that hid most of their features. As ridiculous or amusing their appearance and the sight of their even smaller spears was... there were hundreds of them, and they all stared at her with a deadly silence.
Somewhere in the back, among what looked like little huts she saw a large fire and next to it, she saw the others bound with rope to large poles. Next to the poles, she saw a ridiculously huge kettle...
"Run, princess!" Twilight shouted out, hanging upside down from her pole.
Princess Celestia's gaze traveled over the countless masks, and she saw hundreds of tiny eyes stare at her. She was surrounded, there was no escape and if she had heard correctly, magic wasn't an option either. She swallowed, and then decided to try a more diplomatic approach.
"Greetings." she spoke up, "I am princess Celestia. Would you please be so kind as to free my friends? I am sure there is no need for this to go any further."
The pygmies remained silent for a moment, then they simultaneously looked up. "CHaukMak ak?" one of them asked.
Celestia followed their gaze and turned her head upwards. A rectangular opening sat in the sky above her, as if someone had drawn a door into the sky itself. In the opening she could see the sky of Equestria... and the necromancer's face look down upon them.
"CHaukMak tha nka?" Aergad raised an eyebrow as the pygmies shook their heads, "Nah... screw that. Get her."
In an instant the pygmies were all over her, and within mere seconds princess Celestia found herself bound to her own pole next to the others.
"You can't do this! Stop this insanity at once!" Celestia shouted up at his face furiously.
"Nope." he smiled, "This is punishment, after all!" he paused, "Twilight is here because she stole one of my books, summoned a demon lord..." Celestia gave Twilight a quick look of disbelief. Twilight merely managed to cringe and grin like a fool, "And because she told him of my presence... That's certainly going to be trouble later on." he muttered to himself.
"As for the rest of you." he continued, "Celestia, you are her teacher and as such are to be held responsible for any of her actions. I found it only fair that you should share her punishment. The paladin is here... well, you ignored the warning." he gave the hand a quizzical look, "Why you are here is beyond me, but once you're inside you're part of it."
"And Luna is going to stay as well, now that I found out she's been trying to keep Nightmare Night a secret from me!"
"You didn't tell him?" Celestia asked her sister with surprise.
"Can you imagine what he would do if he was allowed to participate?!" Luna whispered back, "I thought that without time to prepare anything, it would at least be civil!"
"And now I just have two days left to prepare..." the necromancer commented sadly.
"You're not seriously going to let them cook us, are you?!" Calindria shouted up at him, "Even you're not that mad!"
"Cook you?" Aergad scrunched his face, "Why would they do that?" he gave the pygmies a nod, "They're not going to cook you, they're going to cook for you."
"That doesn't sound like a punishment..." Twilight gave him a bewildered look. To the side, the pygmies were already starting to carry out huge tables loaded with different ingredients and rolling out large barrels.
"Basically, it's quite simple." the necromancer explained, "They're going to cook, it will be delicious, you'll eat it and then you get out." he paused, "That... and you'll gain about twenty pounds in the process." he saw their absolutely terrified expressions, "Yeah... sounds like a punishment now, don't it?"
"I don't have time for your silly games!" Celestia called out with a stern gaze after regaining some of her composure, "I will see to a fitting punishment for Twilight myself later, but I need to return to Canterlot as soon as possible! I am expecting an important diplomat from the griffon empire to arrive within the next hours and he will be expecting..." she saw a huge and maniacal grin appear on the necromancer's face, "Nooo!" she shook her head as if in shock, cursing herself for letting the words slip out, "No no no no!"
"Griffons, heh?" the necromancer scratched his chin, "Always wanted to meet one..."
"Don't you dare!"
"Relax, I'm going to be really nice... I promise. Enjoy your meals, ladies!" and with a last smile, the necromancer closed the lid of the box.
Lord Leikvard Redbeak descended towards the castle with a strong flap of his wings, his guards falling into perfect formation behind him. The griffon never did enjoy talking with the alicorn sisters... they were simply too peaceful and harmonic in his opinion, not a single true warrior among them. Not that it could be helped though, there was an important issue that needed to be dealt with; a decision had to be reached concerning the area of the former Blackshadow Reach.
In the past, the mountain range known as Blackshadow Reach in the north of Equestria had formed the natural border to the griffon empire... but not anymore. There had been an earthquake, followed by a landslide and the collapse of a large part of the mountain range. As a result, a huge canyon had formed.
A huge canyon that now stood like an open gate between Equestria and the griffon empire... the natural border was gone. And now, a new border had to be drawn.
The problem, however was that none of the two nations wanted the area as its own. It was nothing more than a wrecked landscape, difficult to oversee and hazardous to cross... diamond dogs had already started to dig their tunnels into the debris... At the same time though, none of them wanted the other side to lay claim to the area. After all, it was still an open path between the two kingdoms.
Making it accessible would be extremely hazardous, any operation in the secluded area was difficult and expensive... not to mention what it would mean to send an army to secure the region. Splitting it between the two nations would not do either; too much potential for conflict. And letting it go to the diamond dogs? Leikvard shook his head, that was completely out of the question. He could only hope that the alicorns would make some sort of offer that he could accept, but he somehow doubted it.
Even as Leikvard and his bodyguards landed on the platform of the main tower, his thoughts did not leave him peace. Time was of essence here, the longer they waited the deeper the dogs would dig... The doors of the large tower opened, but what stepped out of them was no alicorn.
"What in the world?" Leikvard raised an eyebrow as he watched the strange creature approach. He checked his surroundings carefully, shouldn't there have been guards? The platform was completely empty except for him, his guards and... whatever it was.
"Greetings!" the strange creature offered a broad smile and spread its arms, "It is my pleasure to welcome the great Lord Redbeak and his fearless griffon warriors to Canterlot castle!" he bowed deeply before the griffons, "May your talons always find the meat of your prey."
Redbeak gave a short nod, whatever this thing was, at least it knew what respect meant. He waited for the creature to rise again, "Thank you for your welcome... but who are you? Where are princess Celestia and princess Luna?" his brow furrowed, "More importantly, what are you?"
For a short moment, a small, white and blue butterfly flew around the necromancer's head, its little wings fluttering furiously. Aergad pushed it away with a small wave of his hand, "Me? Oh, you are going to love me!" he watched the butterfly fly around him with a smirk... it was glowing in the dark.
---
"They're bringing more cake!" Twilight wailed desperately as the pygmies stuffed another piece of frosted dessert into her mouth.
"Where do they even get all of this stuff?!" Calindria cried out as she furiously tried to evade the slice of cake aimed for her mouth.
"It's delicious!" Luna sobbed between bites.
Next to her, Celestia too was trying to free herself from her bonds while being force fed a milkshake. She had managed to evade some of it, but she feared that she had already gained several pounds... not to mention that her whole coat was covered in sugar. Her eyes widened in fear as she saw the pygmies carry out a huge banana sundae.
"Princess Celestia? Princess Luna?" they all looked up and into the face of Pipsqueak, "Why are you inside a box?"
"Kid?" Calindria looked up between another bite, "Don't look inside or..." she paused, "How come you don't fall inside?"
"Fall inside?" Pipsqueak raised an eyebrow in wonder before spotting the mountains of cake, "Oh, wow! Can I have some too?"
For a moment, Celestia did not understand how the little foal had managed to open the box without being trapped by it. But then, she remembered what one of the imps had once told her; the necromancer would never endanger a child... or a foal for that matter. Granted, it would lessen her fury... but not much.
"Young foal?" she called up to the foal, "You are our only hope. Can you find a way to get us out of this trap?"
Pipsqueak scrunched his face, trying to understand why they would want to leave the magical land of candy... but she was the princess. The foal picked up the box, inspecting it from all sides as the feast inside continued relentlessly. For a moment, he wondered what he should do and then, out of impulse... he turned it around and gave it a shake.
---
"And then... and then, you know what she answered?" Aergad's grin widened as he gasped for air, "She ate the cherry!"
Leikvard burst into laughter, hammering his fist onto the table as the necromancer poured him another glass of Ruby Coast and struggling for breath as tears entered his eyes. "Beautiful!" the griffon laughed as he took another big gulp, "I would never have thought that my visit here would be this entertaining!" he gave Aergad a poke as he started to slur in his drunken state, "You have got to visit the griffon empire sometime, you know... meet someone more of your caliber."
"Oh?" Aergad chuckled as he watched the griffon wobble on his seat, "Is that an offer I hear?"
"Just a suggestion!" Leikvard put his arm around the necromancer's shoulders, "Someone with your talent is obviously wasted on the ponies! When you do get bored, send us a message!"
"I'll keep it in mind." Aergad smiled.
Their celebration was interrupted as the doors to the royal hall were thrown open, and Celestia entered in a dash... her coat smeared with cake and the alicorn clearly upset. The moment she spotted the two at the table, many emotions ran over her face; anger when she spotted the grinning necromancer... and worry when she saw the heavily drunken griffon.
"Lord Redbeak..." she started, furiously trying to think of how to excuse whatever mischief he had undoubtedly already performed. The countless butterflies she had encountered on her way had not necessarily lessened her anger... not in the least.
"Ahh, Celestia!" Leikvard greeted her with a smile she had never seen before, the old griffon had never been the friendly type... "Me and Aergad here were just talking about you! A most splendid..." he turned to the necromancer, "What were you again?"
"You mean besides awesome?" Aergad replied, making both of them burst out into laughter.
"Well, whatever he is..." Leikvard continued, "He is simply fabulous!" he sighed, "Well then, I fear that I must return to the empire to make everything official." he turned to the necromancer, "Think about my offer."
"What?" Celestia asked with surprise, "But what about Blackshadow Reach?"
"Me and Aergad have already come to an agreement, and I am sure you will be delighted to hear..."
The necromancer held up a contract, the griffons' seal imprinted on it shining like a beacon as he grinned with that maniacal smile, "That we're going to be neighbors! I've gotten a nation of my own!"
If Celestia's mouth could have dropped any further it would have... Next to her, a butterfly exploded into a puff of magic, and a dazed Shining Armor hit the ground.
Celestia's mind was struggling to keep her thoughts at bay. Had the necromancer actually just gotten control over his own nation? She had already planned for several punishments in view of his recent behavior, but with this she would have to become a bit more... creative.
The moment that lord Redbeak left the room though, heavily drunk and leaning on his guards for support, Celestia was surprised to see the necromancer fall over backwards and onto the floor with a tired groan, "That..." he wheezed, "May have been a bit too much..."
"Why, you!" Shining Armor fumed as he got up again, "I'll..."
"Careful now, Shiny." the necromancer held up a warning finger, "I'm down, but I'm not out... there's still enough juice left in me to make certain parts shrink... a lot." Shining Armor cringed and stopped approaching him, a nervous look on his face.
Celestia slowly walked to where he was lying, studying his face as she stood above him. It did not seem like he was playing with her again; He looked exhausted, fatigued... and there was a new strand of gray in his hair.
"Hey there, Celestia." he chuckled weakly, "How's the sun of my life doing today?"
Celestia raised an eyebrow, "Better than you, apparently. What did you do to wear yourself out like this?"
"You mean, what didn't I do?" Aergad huffed, "If you have to know, I killed and contained a demon lord, raided a changeling hive, had a quick one with Chrysalis..." somewhere in his pockets, the still-shrunken Xhergis cringed, "Then I had to rush back here, put a sleep spell over your guards, turn Shiny into a butterfly to see if he glows..." a small grin spread his lips while Shining Armor blushed, "Which he did. Then, I had to drink ridiculous amounts of alcohol without getting drunk, which is hard considering it's Ruby Coast..."
He stiffled a yawn before continuing, "All the while keeping the safety and peace of this world at my highest priority, mind you..." he pointed a finger at Celestia, "And during all of that I had to keep an enchantment running to keep two incredibly powerful pony deities trapped inside a pocket dimension." his hand fell flat onto the floor again, "So yeah, you try and deal with all of that and not get tired." he paused, "You have cake in your mane, by the way."
"Not cake." Celestia corrected him with a frown, "Banana sundae." she shook her head before turning her attention to the contract by his side. "I can not believe you actually got Redbeak to agree to something like this..." she murmured as her eyes traveled over the parchment.
"What does this contract entail?" Shining Armor asked out of curiosity.
"This contract..." Celestia replied with a slightly surprised voice, "This contract gives the necromancer complete control over the region formerly known as Blackshadow Reach, guaranteeing that he is the legitimate ruler of the area under three conditions..." one of her eyebrows started to rise, "One is that he will take care of the threat posed by the diamond dogs to ensure the regions stability, set up a toll-free area for trade..."
"You're welcome!" the necromancer held up a thumb.
"And third..." Celestia paused and her eyebrow rose even higher. She gave him a skeptical look, "You actually agreed to a Rite of Consent?"
"Sure, why not?" Aergad replied, "I mean it's more of public act anyhow, ain't it? I'll visit them, swear to be nice, kiss a few babies..."
"That is not what it means." Celestia interrupted him with a frown.
"It's not?" Celestia shook her head, the necromancer cringed, "Then what did I agree to?"
To the side, Shining Armor couldn't help but burst out laughing, "Oh, this is hilarious! You agreed without even knowing? I mean, what kind of..." a quick glare form Celestia shut him up, "Sorry."
Celestia returned her attention to the necromancer on the ground before her, "As it is, this contract is binding for the griffons, and it will guarantee that there will be no military conflicts concerning this area. So stepping back from it would only cause more problems... upholding it though, would ensure safety and wealth for all sides involved." she paused, "Congratulations, Aergad. You now not only have a nation of your own..." she placed her own seal on the contract, "But you're also going to get married."
"I am?"
"You are." she closed the contract and summoned it away, "The Rite of Consent was specifically called into life for situations where a third nation stood between two others. Very basically, to ensure you are loyal to both nations you will take brides from the royal families of both."
"I'm marrying?" the necromancer's voice was nothing but a whisper now.
"You are. Take my word for this, since you are the one who started this I will see to it that you finish it as well."
"Great..." Aergad groaned, "I already hate royals and pansy princesses... but a griffon and a pony?" he shivered.
"Don't worry, I will find a suitable bride for you." Celestia replied.
"Please tell me I won't have to marry you!"
Celestia shook her head with a groan, "No, you will not..." she saw his face grow pale, "And you are not marrying Luna either."
"Huh... well, I guess it could be worse... I can still always take the window if everything else fails." he slightly propped himself up on his elbows, "How did you get out of the trap anyway?"
"A young foal named Pipsqueak turned the box and shook it." Celestia replied with a frown, "The others are currently cleaning up the mess that accompanied our escape..." namely three hundred pounds of cake and dessert.
"Shook it? Clever boy..." a brief moment of concern passed over his face, "Wait. You did lock the lid, didn't you?"
"It can be locked?" Celestia asked with surprise.
The necromancer let his head sag back onto the floor with a loud groan, "Great. Just great... Just when you think things can't possibly get any worse, I get married to two princesses, and they forget to lock the box."
Celestia's eyes narrowed, "Why? What happens when you don't lock the box?"
"Stop them!" Calindria shouted frantically as another piece of cake flew by her face, "They're getting higher!" she raised her shield in time to fend off a cheese cake aimed for her. Next to the paladin, princess Luna did not fair as well as a big piece of strawberry cake hit her square in the face, making her topple over backwards.
"There's no end to this!" Twilight shouted in desperation as she took a shot at the ever-growing tower of pygmies.
They had been happy once they had found themselves outside the box again, but only a moment after Celestia left chaos erupted. The small box had grown to the size of a chest and the pygmies inside had started to build a living tower, all the while tossing cake up at the opening in an almost frantic pursuit of their former captives.
Seeing that their defensive of the opening was about to be toppled, the paladin quickly grabbed the lid of the chest and threw it shut, putting her whole weight on top of it. For a short, few seconds everything was peaceful again and all of them let out a sigh of relief.
To the side, Pipsqueak couldn't help but wonder what all the commotion was about. After all, the little creatures were handing out free cake. Next to him, the hand was sitting in the grass and watching the spectacle unfold itself.
"Should have done that right from the..." the paladin sighed, but was cut off by a shove from beneath that shook the whole lid, "By the gods, they are persistent." she turned to the two ponies, "Quickly, use your magic to..." there was another shove from below and the paladin flew from the box and onto the grass with a loud thump.
Instantly, the lid was thrown open and both Calindria and the ponies stared with expressions of horror as a pygmy with a huge frosted cake bound to its back poked its masked head outside.
For a moment it looked like it was about to jump them but then, the pygmy suddenly froze and stared at something behind them.
"Why do I have to do everything myself?" the ponies turned around at the voice and saw the necromancer approach with princess Celestia in tow.
Aergad ignored the ponies and walked straight past them, heading for the box in a straight line where the pygmy was still poking its head outside without moving.
The necromancer stopped in front of the box and gave the pygmy a cold and measuring stare, "Do we have a problem here?"
The pygmy visibly cringed and from inside the box the other pygmies could be heard muttering with impatient voices in their strange language, obviously waiting for their comrade to finally advance. The pygmy at the top responded by snapping its head back down and fiercely whispering a short string of words, the other pygmies immediately growing silent.
Aergad placed a foot on the edge of the box and took a look inside, "So... trying to get outside again?"
The pygmy shuddered and quickly started to make apologizing gestures, "CHmak mkar... heh..." Aergad's face darkened, "ZTrak?"
"Must I remind the lot of you of our agreement?" he replied, "Zuhm dka Tkrak?" one of his hands started to glow.
"Zuhm NKa! Zuhm Nka!" the pygmy frantically shook its little head. It repeatedly bowed its head before the necromancer while continuing to whimper, "Zuh ml'ka mur."
Aergad's eyes narrowed, "Oh? Really now? Does that mean you want me to come down there myself?"
There was a short moment of silence as the pygmy simply stared at him. Countless frantic and shocked whispers could be heard from below. Then, without another word spoken the pygmy simply grabbed the lid of the box and pulled it shut with another quick bow of its head.
The necromancer let out a sigh as he watched the box return to its former size, "Next time I'm getting myself a pocket dimension filled with sharks instead..." he picked up the little box and pushed down a little clasp, "I swear, every fucking time somebody forgets to lock this thing..." he put it into one of his pockets and turned his attention back to the others.
"Now..." his gaze traveled over the faces of everyone present, "I realize that some of you think my actions may deserve some kind of punishment..."
"I do." Luna replied with a glare, her face and mane were plastered with frosting.
"A beating would serve just as well..." Calindria muttered with a sneer, the was cake in every nook of her armor.
"And I can totally understand that..." he paused, "What are still lounging around outside for? Get back inside!" the hand immediately scurried off towards the tower, "Now, where was I?"
"Punishment." Luna stated with fire in her eyes.
"Ah, yes. That." he watched their expressions for another moment, "Normally I would completely agree with you, but seeing as I now have diplomatic immunity..."
"That has yet to be decided." Celestia replied with a sour voice, "You still have to hold your part of the pact."
"Of course, of course..." he chuckled, "But turning back to the matter at hand..." he turned back to the others, "Let me just say with the deepest of respect and sincerity..." he broke into laughter, "Did you girls gain weight?" he snorted, "I say, I could have sworn you were thinner the last time we met." and with a flash of light, he was gone.
The ponies and the paladin stared at the spot where he had been standing only a moment ago, none of them believing he had simply disappeared into thin air like that.
"I'm surprised he recovered so quickly." Celestia commented after a few seconds.
The paladin hung her head, "My armor feels tighter than before... This is going to take weeks of training to wear off."
Twilight sobbed to herself, "I'm afraid to step on the scale after this."
"This shall not go unpunished!" Luna scrunched her face as she tried to ignore her slightly wider girth, but she already shivered at the thought of the diet and exercise this would demand from her. She turned to Celestia, "And what was that about diplomatic immunity?"
"Trust me, sister. I can still hardly believe it myself."
"Oh, before I forget it..." they all looked up to see the necromancer poke his head out the window of his tower, "If you're looking to lose some of those extra pounds, and there's no denying that they're on you..." even Celestia blushed at this, "I have a nice set of challenges just perfect for the task." a small laugh escaped his lips, "I suggest you try them." he was about to pull his head back inside, "And Twilight? Be a good little pony and return my book before I do decide to turn you into a closet." he paused, "Oy! Is that you, kid?"
"Yes, mister necromancer." Pipsqueak called up.
"You decided on that wish yet?" he leaned on the window frame with a smile.
Pipsqueak suddenly remembered the reason why he had come here in the first place, "I did, mister necromancer."
"Splendid!" Aergad called down, completely ignoring the confused and angered looks of the ponies and the paladin, "So what can I do for you?"
The little colt seemed to hesitate, "Can you... can you teach me to do magic?"
There was a short moment of silence as the ponies watched the little colt with surprise, not believing what they had just heard.
"Are you insane, kid?" Calindria muttered with disbelief, "Magic? From that insane crook?"
"Magic?" Twilight asked the little colt with worry, "But you're an earth pony, you can't..."
"Magic, is it?" the necromancer asked from his window, "Sure, why not..." he chuckled, "Come on up kid, I'll see what I can do for you."
Aergad turned around as Pipsqueak entered his chambers, "Ahh, there you are..." he spotted the group behind him and his happy expression fell considerably, "And you brought guests... great." he gave a sigh as the others entered, "Alright, alright... Let's do this in order, shall we? One after the other." the necromancer turned to Pipsqueak, "First, you. Step closer."
Pipsqueak took a tentative step towards the necromancer, "Can you really teach me magic, mister?"
"We'll see in a moment, kid. Hold still for a second." Aergad reached out and placed one of his hands on the foals head, closing his eyes and concentrating on what he felt beneath his hand. After a moment, he opened his eyes again and pulled back his hand with a small chuckle, "It'll take some time, but you have what you need. I can teach you a few things." Pipsqueak's expression turned into one of pure joy, "But first, there are a few things that need to be settled."
"What things?" Pipsqueak tilted his head.
"First of, why do you want to learn magic?"
Pipsqueak scrunched his face, "I... I dunno really, sir. I just really want to do something that nopony else does. I... I want to be special."
The necromancer raised an eyebrow as his gaze searched the foal's expression, "Special? Well I guess that's as good as any other reason. But there are a few things you and I need to be clear on: One; this will be hard work. You'll have to head here everyday after school, do chores and then attend my lessons... and it will take time for you to make progress, be sure of that. Do you understand?"
Pipsqueak swallowed, but have a determined nod, "I understand, sir."
"Good. Two; since you're a kid I'll only do this if your parents agree. Go to them, tell them that I'll be happy to visit them any time to discuss this. I'm sure they'll have questions." Pipsqueak nodded, "Alright. Off you go then. Return to me tomorrow morning when you've told your parents. Then we can see what will happen."
"I will, mister necromancer." Pipsqueak took off with a happy dash, putting a small smile on the necromancer's lips as he watched the foal leave.
"That kid is going to be real big one day..." he chuckled before turning to Celestia and the others, "So, what can I do for the rest of you?"
Celestia gave him a long and calculating look before speaking, "Can you really teach an earth pony magic? At such a young age nonetheless?"
"Sure I can. He has potential, I can feel it." he saw her doubting expression, "He won't be able to do magic like a unicorn, granted. But I'm sure I can teach him a few tricks of my own."
"And what tricks would you teach him, to be specific?" Celestia asked.
"Nothing dangerous, mind you. A few defensive spells, a bit of alteration and illusion if he grasps the concepts..." Aergad scratched his chin, "Maybe some alchemy too... Don't give me that look, Celestia. I'm not going to teach a child anything dangerous."
"How would he channel the magic?" Luna asked with a curious voice, "He has no horn, after all."
The necromancer shrugged, "So? Neither do I. Magic isn't a question of biology, it's a question of insight. A few lessons and the kid will probably be able to create light on his own." he rubbed his temples as he saw Celestia eye him with doubt, "Look; I know the idea probably doesn't suit you, but give the kid a chance. I'll even make sure he writes you a report each week so you can keep an eye on his lessons."
Celestia was a bit surprised at his sudden, obliging behavior, "Why does this mean so much to you?"
"The kid has a dream, I think that's reason enough to help him." he waved a dismissive hand, "Relax, his parents still have to decide on the matter. We can continue to argue once they agree to it, if they agree to it, that is."
Celestia thought for a moment, "Very well, but I demand to be informed about everything that happens on this matter. Do you understand?"
"As do I." the paladin spoke up, "I'm not going to let you spoil the poor child. I'm going to keep a close eye on you as well."
"Sure. I'll keep you updated." Aergad chuckled and turned to the paladin, "You'll be spending more time with me in the future anyway, so feel free to attend the lessons. You may even learn something yourself."
Calindria gave him a questioning frown, "What's that supposed to mean?"
Celestia was about to explain, but was interrupted as Twilight entered the necromancer's chamber behind them... with a small book in her grasp. She held her head low as she approached Aergad, putting on her best apologetic face, "I'm sorry for misusing your trust and taking the book without asking."
The necromancer huffed and fished the book from her grasp, checking the pages with a quick look, "Translation spells? Figures..." he let go of the book and the others watched it float back to its original position in one of the shelves, "There's a good reason all of these are written in multiple languages, but I'm sure you understand that now... don't you?" he gave her a short glare.
"I do." Twilight gave a sullen nod.
"Good. I'm sure Celestia will want to know everything about this once we are finished with the other stuff."
"Indeed I do, I expect a full report on the matter." Twilight cringed at Celestia's words, "I trust that no permanent damage was done by whatever she summoned?"
"We got lucky..." the necromancer sighed, feeling the weight of the soul gem in one of his countless pockets; the ponies would probably never know just how lucky they had gotten. He shook his head and changed the subject, "Have you decided on that matter yet?"
"I have not." Celestia replied with a stern face. That matter was going to give her quite a few headaches; there were no other eligible princesses left in Equestria other than her sister and herself... not counting in prince Blueblood, but that would be a risky move. She somehow doubted the two of them would get along very well.
"What matter?" Luna asked with growing unease, "Why do I have the feeling that a lot more has happened than what I am aware of?"
Celestia sighed, "There have been a lot of things happening at a much quicker pace than we are used to." she gave Aergad a short look, "Maybe it is time for all of us to sit down and discuss the recent events. So that everyone is up to date."
Aergad grinned, "A secret council?" his grin widened as he saw Celestia's annoyed expression, "Splendid! I'll serve tea and biscuits." he turned to one of the imps ever-present in his chambers, "Get some extra chairs and prepare some tea, the legion of doom is about to have its first official meeting." the imp immediately scurried off.
"The legion of doom?" Luna asked with a frown, "Seriously?"
A small laugh escaped his lips, "Well, we could call it three ponies, one armored airhead and the awesome necromancer, but that title is a bit long, isn't it now?"
Celestia shook her head with a small groan, "Let us just start, shall we?" she saw his grin, "And I too, do not approve of the legion of doom."
His grin turned into a sour expression, "Three ponies, one armored airhead and the bored necromancer it is then."
---
Half an hour later, all of them were silently contemplating what they had just learned.
"So that I understand this correctly..." the paladin was the first to speak up, "I'm supposed to keep an eye on him while he does his research on... what were they called again?"
"Changelings." Celestia spoke up quietly, "And I ask this of you because I know you can be trusted." she turned to Aergad, "What about you?"
"What about me?"
"You said you would provide the required containers before I make this public."
Aergad waved his hand with an almost lazy motion, "Down in the cellar. Two hundred bottles waiting to be enchanted. I'll get right on it once we're done here. You can pick them up tomorrow morning."
"So that's why I saw queen Chrysalis leave the tower that morning?"
Celestia gave Aergad a look of small surprise, "She stayed for the night?"
A dreamy expression found its way onto his features, "She sure did... she sure did." on the other side of the table, Twilight couldn't help but make a disgusted face.
"I for one find the development of Blackshadow Reach far more concerning." Luna spoke up before addressing her sister, "Are you really going to give him a country of his own?"
"It seems that the griffons for once would be satisfied, I am afraid we can not let this opportunity go by. They already sealed the contract on their behalf too. If we were to pull back now, they would surely take it as an insult." Celestia tried to answer as calmly as possible.
Luna's eyes narrowed, "And who, pray tell dear sister, will marry the necromancer? Surely I must not remind you that we two are the only eligible princesses left in all of Equestria?"
"You are?" Aergad gave the two a look of pure terror.
"We are not." Celestia tried to calm him.
Luna's eyes narrowed even further as she saw her sister start to sweat, "Are you talking about Blueblood?"
"Blueblood?" Twilight asked with surprise, "But Blueblood is a..."
"Respected member of the royal family." Celestia quickly finished the sentence before a frown found its way back onto her face, "Aergad..."
"Yes, Celestia?"
"You are neither marrying Luna, nor are you going to marry me...
"I'm not?"
"You are not... So please, step away from the window."
The necromancer seemed to hesitate for a moment, but then gave an undignified sigh and returned to his seat.
"A good wife always puts the man in his place." the paladin gave a laugh as she watched Aergad's devastated expression, "But two princesses? I say, maybe they'll even get you to act like a sane being for once."
"Wouldn't that be nice..." he grumbled from his seat.
Luna gave her sister another short, meaningful glance before returning her attention to Aergad, "And what of the matter of the diamond dog infestation? How do you plan on handling the problem?"
The necromancer gave a short shrug and suppressed a yawn, "I'll make them the first citizens of my beautiful little country."
"And how do you plan to make them accept your leadership?" Luna asked with a frown, "You will need an army if you even want to make them accept diplomatic talks."
"Luna, have you forgotten what I am?" a sinister smile appeared on his lips, "All I need are a few bones... everywhere I go there's an army waiting for me to call it forth." he pointed a thumb towards the paladin, "That, and I'm sending her as well."
"What?!" Calindria almost shouted out, "And since when do I follow your orders?"
"Hey, you wanted to be a paladin, didn't you?" the necromancer gave her a smile, "Here's the thing; If I'm really going to keep the diamond dogs alive, they're going to need training. And who better to do that part than a paladin?"
"Train them?" the paladin asked with a baffled face.
"Long story cut short..." the necromancer sighed, "I'm going to give you an army of the undead to lead to that place, have you take over the diamond dogs and then supervise the construction of a fortress to house the capitol. The undead will do all the work, they're fast builders. But as far as the diamond dogs are concerned, they're going to need some military drill so they can guard the place and live like civilized beings once the undead finish their work and go back to sleeping."
He pointed a finger at her, "And I figured, I'm going to put you in charge of that part. I'm offering you the place of the general and governor of the first city in my new country. So here's you're chance to build your own order of paladins..." he chuckled, "You did ask me for a direction, and now I'm giving you one. Your choice, paladin."
---
Another twenty minutes later, the necromancer was the only one left in his chambers. The others had left; Calindria pondering on whether she would take up on his offer, and the two alicorn sisters preparing for a meeting with Blueblood... Aergad couldn't help but wonder why a pony princess would have such a masculine name...
He himself had given two promises; one was not to cause any troubles for the oncoming festivities... not that he had a lot of time to prepare anything at this point anyway... and the other one had concerned his teaching of the young foal. He would remain in Equestria for the time being, so that Pipsqueak would not have to leave his home should his parents agree to his wishes... and probably because Celestia was wary of letting him out of her sight.
So he would wait until the undead had set up his capitol, with or without the paladin's supervision. After that he'd build another tower, set up teleportation runes and just jump between the two places when he needed to. It would take some effort at first to optimize all the adjustments, but he would manage with time. He just hoped that he wouldn't land inside some wall on his first attempt...
The necromancer's thoughts were interrupted though, as he felt an all too familiar shiver run down his back. He didn't need to turn around to know who had just entered his chambers, "What do you want? I don't remember calling for you..." he checked his chest, "And my heart is still beating too..." he chuckled, "Or did I eat something I shouldn't have?"
Death took a moment to observe him, "I have made a decision to bend the rules."
"What now?" Aergad raised an eyebrow in complete surprise.
"I am willing to give you what you wish for... if you are willing to give me what I wish for...
The necromancer observed death's form with a careful expression, "And what brought on this change, if I may ask?"
"See for yourself..." Death opened his robes and a small globe of light detached itself from within, hovering before the necromancer and showing him countless images.
Aergad silently took in the pictures within the globe before it disappeared again, his face turning emotionless as he stared into Death's cold eyes, "That's what's going to happen?"
"It is one of the possible futures..."
"So soon too... You're not really giving me a choice here..."
"You are right, but you will need to make a choice... Will you continue to live out of nothing but spite, or will you finally accept the path that I planned for you so long ago?"
"If I do this..." the necromancer was quiet for a short moment, "You'll give her to me?"
"She will be yours... as you will be mine..."
"Did I ever tell you how much I hate it when you talk like that?"
"Always." Death replied with his emotionless voice before he started to fade from existence, "I have made an exception, Aergad. I have shown you what can be... what you can be... Now, my son... it is up to you to decide which path you will take..."
Aergad watched the empty spot where Death had just stood, an expression of pure contempt on his face, "You always were an asshole, dad." he sighed, "Always..." a small, sad laugh escaped him, "Celestia's really going to lose her shit this time..."
Aergad had been heading for his cellar when he came to a sudden halt on the stairs, "You're still there, aren't you... Buttercup?"
For a short moment there was no answer, but then a weak voice could be heard from one of his pockets, "I am..."
"So... you heard everything?" he asked as started to walk again.
"I did..." Xhergis carefully stuck her head out of his pocket, trying to get a look at his face, "Was that... that was really death, wasn't it?"
"Yeah, that was him..." the necromancer chuckled, "Though I'll probably never get over that form of his... I mean, seriously? A pony? That's just..." his laugh died, "That's just stupid."
"Aergad..." Xhergis wasn't sure how to ask, "Is he really your... I mean, are you really..."
"It's complicated." Aergad cut her off, "Let's not delve deeper on the subject, not now." he reached into his pocket and carefully brought the tiny changeling onto his palm, "I've been getting careless... haven't I?" he sighed, "Seriously, what am I going to do with you now, Buttercup?"
"You're not going to eat me? Are you?" Xhergis cringed as she saw that maniacal smile of his appear.
"Eat you? That would be taking it a bit too far now, wouldn't it?" he laughed and traced a finger around her, a thin glowing line starting to surround her on his palm, "I've got just the thing in mind though..."
"What are you doing?" Xhergis watched the line around her in terror.
"Quiet now, you don't want me to mess this one up." he chuckled.
Xhergis heard him chant in a language unlike any she had heard before and as he chanted, the line started to grow brighter and brighter. Then, with a flash of light, the chanting stopped and the line disappeared again.
"There we go." he chuckled and placed her in his pocket again, "That should do it."
"What?" she poked her head out, "What did you do just now? What was that?"
"A curse." the necromancer replied nonchalantly as he continued to walk down the stairs.
"Cu-c-c... A WHAT?!"
"It's quite simple. If you ever tell anyone about this, the great demon worm of Tzukl'ma Ban, devourer of a million souls and keeper of the three pits of decay, will come to find and devour you..." he gave her a happy smile, "And that, will be the end of you."
Xhergis only stared at him with an expression of pure horror.
"So no playing secret breaker, right?" he asked with an almost playful expression.
"O... Okay." she frantically nodded her head. Xhergis wasn't even sure if there really was a great demon worm, but she sure as hell wasn't about to test his curse.
"I'm curious though..." he asked, "Why didn't you speak up and ask me to return you to normal again?"
"I'm not sure..." Xherigs pulled herself up onto the rim of the pocket, "I just guess I like being small... We changelings are anxious at getting spotted, so being small is kind of nice. I get carried around all day, there's lots of emotions... and your pockets are really a good place to nap in."
Aergad sighed, "Looks like I just gotten myself a new familiar... I'm sure Chrysalis will be..." he stopped, "Wait... back in the hive, when we went into her chamber and..."
Xhergis blushed, "I didn't watch... but you were awfully loud..." no words could even describe the things she had heard... and seen. Poking her head out had left her staring and unable to tear her eyes away, "Please don't tell her... If she ever found out..."
She was cut off by the necromancer's amused laughs.
"It's not funny!" she scrunched her face, but became serious after another moment, "Back then... what did he show you? What's going to happen?"
"Life... I guess." the necromancer chuckled, "And then..." he gave her a smirk, "Death!"
---
Just after sunrise, two alicorns could be seen walking the courtyard of Canterlot castle.
"Are you sure about this?" Luna asked her sister as they stood outside the castle, "I can not imagine that Aergad will be amused. Not to mention that Blueblood will likely..."
"I know." Celestia replied, "But as it stands, the two of them will have to meet sooner or later."
"And what exactly did you tell them?"
"I told Blueblood we would need a representative in a new country... and I will tell Aergad that Blueblood will be here for a meeting with him when I pick up the containers." she saw her sister's look, "I know what you are thinking. Trust me, I don't like it either but this is the only way I can think of. As it stands, tradition does not demand for them to be actually married to one another if they are of the same gender. It would suffice for Blueblood to live under his protection."
"Supplied that Aergad would agree to this, which I highly doubt." Luna frowned, "Not to mention that Blueblood can be very difficult at times."
"Yes, I know." Celestia sighed, "But if I can bring the two together just carefully enough and explain to them that..."
"Hey." a voice interrupted them. During their conversation, one of the imps had walked up to them.
"You're one of the necromancer's demons." Luna remarked, "What brings you to Canterlot?"
"The boss told us to bring you the flasks up here." the imp pointed behind itself, numerous imps were carrying large boxes into the courtyard, "He got done earlier than expected, so he said there was no point in waiting for you to come pick them up."
"He did?" Celestia frowned, "I still had something to talk to him about... where is he?"
"The boss?" the imp scratched his head, "Didn't you meet him on your way out? He said he was heading for your chambers..."
"No, we didn't meet him." Celestia replied, "We took a different route here since we were..." she stalled, "My chambers?" her face started to grow pale, "But Blueblood is..."
Luna groaned, "So much for bringing the two together carefully..." both she and Celestia whirled around and looked up at the castle in shock, "Sister, do you feel that?!"
The imp gave one of the towers a short look and gave a short chuckle, "Uhhh... haven't seen him use that one in a while..." he turned to the other imps, "Everyone, gather up! The boss is about to do the Four-Cheeks!" the imps answered with a cheer as the two alicorns ran into the castle with frantic expressions.
---
Up in the castle, inside princess Celestia's chambers... the necromancer was already channeling enough mana to create a small star.
Celestia and Luna rushed through the castle and up the stairs leading to Celestia's chambers. As they came around the last corner and approached the doors, a magical explosion shook the floor beneath them and the necromancer could be heard shouting through the closed doors.
"Motherfucker!"
The next moment, the doors were thrown open from the inside and the necromancer rushed out with fury in his eyes and mana still cracking around him as it slowly started to dissipate again. A few steps outside the doors, he spotted the two alicorns, "You!" he stormed towards Celestia, "I have been put through many things in my life, but that?! That is simply insulting!" he thundered at her, "What the hell were you thinking?!"
Celestia cringed, "Aergad, please. There is no reason to..."
"A fucking stallion?!" he continued to curse, "Do I look like some sort of queer to you?! Even if I would agree to this and even if he is the only royal around..." his fists shook with anger and he sneered at her, "If I ever have to meet that self-indulgent, stuck-up piece of shit again..." he pointed a finger at her, "I will blow him up. Do you understand me? I will fucking turn him inside out and incinerate what is left of him! Got that?!"
"So you didn't kill him?" Luna raised an eyebrow in surprise, she herself had a very strong distaste of Blueblood.
"Why? Do you want me to kill him?" the necromancer pulled back his sleeves, "I can do that too! Free of charge!" he started to turn around.
"No!" Celestia nearly toppled over her own legs as she cut him off.
"No?" he narrowed his eyes, "Then why the hell did you make me meet him?"
"As it is, he is the only eligible candidate." Celestia tried to calmly explain it to him, "And tradition does not require you to marry him if he is of the same gender as you are." the necromancer raised an eyebrow, "He would only need to live under your protection."
"Under my protection?" the necromancer sneered, "The only way that little fuck can stay inside my place is inside a torture chamber or a coffin!" he shook his head, "I no longer care who I have to marry, as long as I never have to see him again!" he gave the two alicorns a stare, "So you can either appoint a new princess, or you can step up yourselves! I am done with negotiations!" he stepped past the two alicorns and started to leave, "Number thirty-two?!" his shout echoed through the castle.
"Yes, boss?" one of the imps poked its head around a corner.
"Get the slingshot ready!" the necromancer thundered as he stepped past the imp, "I want to blow something up!"
"At once, boss!" the imp struck a salute as Aergad left.
Celestia and Luna watched as both the necromancer and the imp left, feeling slightly at a loss for words.
"What do we do now?" Luna finally commented after a moment of silence.
"I don't know..." Celestia sighed, "I need time to think this through and... wait." she paused before her eyes widened considerably, "Blueblood!" under the necromancer's storm of anger, both of them had temporarily forgotten the prince.
Before the two could rush through the doors though, Blueblood's voice could be head from inside, "This way, I say!"
"No! This way!"
"I am prince Blueblood!"
"No, I am!"
Celestia and Luna listened to the argument, completely at a loss at what they were hearing. As the dispute inside continued though, prince Blueblood finally stepped out of Celestia's chambers... and the unasked question of what had happened was solved.
At first Blueblood's head poked through the open doors, then his neck, his body... and finally, where is flank should have been... a second head just like the first came before the two alicorns' eyes. It almost looked as if the young prince had been mirrored in the middle, the front halves of two ponies tied together at their waist... and continuously arguing with one another.
"I am leading!"
"No, I am!" the two heads struggled for control of lead position.
"I don't believe it." Celestia managed to mumble as the two headed Blueblood tried to walk in two directions at once.
"He has got to teach me that one..." Luna commented with a small smirk.
As the fight in the corridor continued, a second set of hooves exited Celestia's chambers and the two alicorns felt their jaws drop. The creature before them had no head. Instead, there was a flank at each end. It seemed that what the two arguing Bluebloods were missing from waist down had been joined to form a second, even obscurer pony.
"Four cheeks..." Luna mumbled in surprise as the two flanks stumbled through the corridor and occasionally bumped into a wall.
"Why would anyone even know of such a spell?" Celestia asked next to her as the headless obscurity started to whirl around itself.
Luna raised an eyebrow, "How does it eat?" she turned her gaze to the two quarreling heads of Blueblood, "And how will they use the toilet?"
"I don't even want to find out." Celestia groaned and approached him, "Blueblood..."
"Yes?" the two heads turned to her in unison and Celestia found herself unsure which head to address.
"What did you do to make the necromancer this upset?" Celestia's voice was stern.
"Nothing!" the first head protested.
"That hideous creature insulted me first!"
"I merely stated that his appearance was utterly unfit for a meeting with somepony of my social status!"
"His attack was absolutely unwarranted and I demand..."
"Blueblood..." Celestia's voice took a warning tone, "What, did you say?"
Both heads flinched, "I... may have made a slightly suggestive comment regarding the profession of his mother..."
Next to him, the two-flanked obscurity ran into a wall and toppled over, eliciting a small snort of amusement from Luna.
---
The paladin had been busying herself by polishing her sword, the whole time trying to come to a conclusion concerning Aergad's offer. A general... the title in itself held promise... and the chance to train her own army and govern a city... Even if she had to work for him, it would give her something to strive for... the founding of her own order of paladins.
Though there still was the issue of the diamond dogs. She didn't know what they were or what to expect... she'd have to ask Twilight Sparkle for information on them on the next occasion. She would not set out heading towards an unknown foe, even with an army of the undead under her command.
Calindria paused her work and looked up in surprise, "Did I already decide on this?" she shook her head with a sigh, "Damn him for using me like that..." she watched nicks in her sword with a sad face, "But what else would I do?" she looked around the small room in dismay.
"Fire!" Aergad's voice could be heard even through the closed windows of the small cottage. A split second later, an explosion rocked the chair she was sitting on.
Calindria let out a groan, "And here we go again... What's that fool doing this time?" she started to go for her armor, but paused. She took another look at her sword and the plates on her bed, struggling with herself. But then, she left the armor on the bed and leaned the sword against one of the walls.
As she started to the head for the front door of the small house another explosion shook the walls. The paladin reached the front door, "Here's to new starts..."
---
"Fire!" there was a loud twang as the large slingshot sent another disk into the air, followed by an explosion as the necromancer's fireball hit it in midair.
The necromancer flexed his fingers and watched the imps reload the spring, "That little bastard..." he mumbled to himself, "Saying that to me with a straight face? You just wait..." an evil grin spread his lips, "You just wait till you have to hit the toilet." he chuckled, "Let's see how you like it when real shit comes out of your mouth! Fire!" he watched the disc shoot into the air, "Fucking royals..." the disc was shattered by his fireball.
"You're in a good mood." Aergad turned to see the paladin approach him... unarmed, "What happened this time?"
"No sword? No armor? That's a new one..." he raised an eyebrow and returned his attention to the sling, "Almost didn't recognize you without all the metal..." she scoffed, "Fire!"
Calindria watched the explosion that followed, feeling the heat on her face as she stood next to him, "Nice shot." she remarked with a dry voice. It actually was impressive to watch now that she wasn't on the receiving end for once.
"Doesn't give me much peace though..." the necromancer grumbled before rubbing his chin, "Maybe I could make them scream?" he passed the paladin a short glance. If she had been carrying her armor he would have felt tempted to blast her instead.
"What happened?" she asked again.
"Princess Celestia, in her unending wisdom saw it fit to have me meet princess Blueblood..." he sneered.
"And?"
"Turns out princess Blueblood is really prince Blueblood..." a snort of amusement escaped the paladin, "And he is a complete and utter arse..."
"You didn't kill him, did you?" Calindria asked with worry.
"The boss did the Four-Cheeks!" one of the imps at the slingshot cackled with glee, "Ready when you are, boss! Shot's loaded!"
The paladin cringed, "Oh god... What did he do to deserve that one?" she remembered her own experience with that spell... and the horror that had befallen her when she had needed to use the toilet.
The necromancer sighed and let his head drop slightly, "Insulted my mother..." he rubbed his temples, "Everyone, bring it inside again. I'm not getting anything from this." the imps made disappointed faces, "Come on, I still have stuff to take care of..." he watched the imps carry the slingshot and discs inside before returning his attention to the paladin, "Do you want a drink?"
Calindria stared at him with disbelief, "A what?"
"A drink." he repeated with a slightly bored expression, "You know, booze."
"You actually have alcohol?" she gasped.
"Ale, cider, wine, rum and brandy..." he remarked with a small smirk before heading for the tower, "I feel like I could use a good drink right now... Feel free to tag along."
The paladin suddenly felt thirstier than she had ever been before. How she had longed for a good flagon of ale or a hearty wine these past days...
She only noticed that she was already following him when the doors of the tower closed behind her.
"So..." Luna asked as both she and Celestia were trying to forget the sounds of the two-headed Blueblood going to the toilet... and the sight of the two-flanked Blueblood eating a carrot. It had been a very disturbing sight... he had even chewed, if one could call it that. They would likely have the image stuck inside their heads for all eternity, not to mention the sound it had made... "What are we going to do?"
"About Blueblood?" Celestia replied with a sigh, "Hope that the spell will wear off soon and keep his lower halves away from food in the mean time, I suppose."
"No, that's not what I meant..." Luna shook her head, "Even though that may be a good idea..." somewhere in Canterlot Castle, a two-flanked pony toppled over a small chair while a crying two-headed Blueblood was brushing his teeth with desperate ferocity.
Luna gave her sister a questioning gaze, "What do you intend to do about the Rite of Consent? Now that Blueblood is definitely out of the question, there aren't many choices left... except if you intend to turn him into a mare."
"I fear that may not work..." Celestia answered, "I have been trying to find a solution to this ever since our last meeting, but I can only see three possible solutions to this dilemma."
"And those are?"
Celestia took a deep breath, bracing herself for the dispute that was likely to break loose, "One; one of us marries him..."
"He would undoubtedly be delighted..." Luna scrunched her face, "I can already see him heading for the window. What are the other two?"
"Two; We select a daughter of one of the royal families and appoint her a princess of Equestria..."
"And draw the wrath of all the other families upon us in the process... and I hardly doubt the griffons would accept her without questioning her bloodline."
"I know..." Celestia sighed, "But both of the first seem a trifle opposed to the third."
Luna's face hardened, "Are you talking about the elements of harmony?"
Celestia gave a glum nod, "It is a possibility we have to consider, I am afraid."
"It is not!" Luna repelled, "You can not seriously be thinking about this!"
"Then what should I do?! Give myself or my only sister to him? Or risk a political calamity by appointing a new princess at seemingly nothing more than a whim?"
"You could find another way! There has to be a solution to this!" Luna's voice was steadily growing louder.
"Then tell me!" Celestia surprised her sister by matching her volume, "Tell me what I can do to uphold peace with the griffons! Tell me who should carry this burden if not you or me!"
Somewhere in the royal garden, a thin crack started to appear on a statue of stone.
Celestia quieted down again, "Believe me, I too despise the idea of making any of my subjects bear this burden... be it the element bearers or any other of my subjects."
"Then why tell me of these possibilities if you despise them so much?"
"Because both of us rule this country, sister." Celestia turned to Luna, "Both of us must take responsibility for the safety of our subjects. Now that I know your view on this subject, you and I must make a decision... one of us will have to marry him."
The silence that followed between the two sisters only lasted a few seconds; they were interrupted by two yelps from outside the doors, which were thrown open as the necromancer tumbled inside... two pumpkins in armor standing guard behind him, "There you are!" he slurred.
Celestia watched his staggering form approach them with a look of surprise on her features, "Aergad... Why are you here?"
"Wait!" he suddenly held up a hand and started to fish around his pockets with the other, "I brought an apple for Four-Cheeks." he chuckled, "Wanted to see if he could swallow it in one go... may need some lubricant though." a small laugh escaped him as he wobbled from side to side, "Couldn't find a melon... but an apple will do too... Damn farm pony is going to go nuts when she hears this..."
Next to Celestia, Luna couldn't help but shudder as she remembered the incident with the carrot. It had already been a terrible thing to watch, even though its shape had aided the... process. But an apple? "You came here simply to torment prince Blueblood? He is still suffering under your curse..."
"Of course he is..." Aergad's hand got caught in his robes and he started to whirl around in a frantic attempt to free himself, "You think that's bad, guess what... He'll have fart breath for weeks! But that's not what I came here for." he flopped onto the ground after a particularly unbalanced turn, "I feel dizzy..."
Celestia carefully walked up to where he was lying on the floor, carefully inspecting his face and eyes, "Are you... are you drunk?"
"Like a fish!" he held up a thumb in approval.
"Drunk?" Luna raised an eyebrow, "I thought our subjects abolished alcohol over a thousand years ago?"
"Not one of your subjects!" Aergad chuckled and got up again on shaky feet.
Celestia stepped up closer to him, almost expecting him to fall over again, "Why did you come here then?"
The necromancer straightened up, "Me and the paladin are having a game of dare..."
"Oh dear..." Celestia felt her shoulders sag, already bracing herself for whatever madness was about to break loose, "What are you..." she was cut off as the necromancer put his arms around her head and neck, pulled her into his embrace and planted a deep kiss on her lips.
Luna watched, frozen in shock just as her sister was as the necromancer gently trailed his fingers through Celestia's mane and along her neck while playing with one of her ears with the other hand. Luna felt her mouth fall open as she saw her sister's rear legs give out beneath her and her rump fall onto the floor. Luna's mouth fell even further, as under his caressing hands, there was a small pompf and Celestia's wings shot fully open.
Aergad pulled back from the kiss with a happy smirk on his lips as he watched the crimson face of the startled alicorn in his arms, "Still got it..." he chuckled and turned to Luna with a maniacal grin, "Now..." Luna felt a strange shiver run down her spine as she saw the look in his eyes, "Your turn."
---
In Ponyville, the ponies watched in wonder and marvel, as the clearly intoxicated, shouting paladin led a parade of costumed and dancing imps, juggling demons, assorted monsters and an orchestra of skeletons through the streets.
"You there!" the paladin shouted to the back as she waved her sword around, "Swing those flags faster! I can still see them too clearly! Put your back into it!"
The kraken renewed his efforts, furiously swinging the flags in its tentacles, occasionally throwing all eight of them in the air to catch them again as the ponies applauded the act.
Calindria gave a grim nod of approval and turned her attention to the skeleton orchestra, "Enough of the graveyard music! Play us the song of your people!"
"This is the song of our people!" a skeleton playing a wooden piano replied as he was carried along.
"Who made her boss anyway? I say we get some dibs on the fleshy ones!" a skeleton with a violin whispered to one of its companions as they marched and played, eying the town ponies from empty eye sockets with hunger.
"Aergad made her boss." the other skeleton replied while it played on its own ribcage with a matching set of bones, "He also said not to munch the locals."
"Ah, man... not even a taste?"
"Nope."
"I'm still hearing graveyard music!" the paladin hollered at the front, "Play something snappy before I drum it myself on your empty skulls!"
"The nerve of some people..." the lead skeleton sighed before addressing his band, "Alright, you heard her! Let's give 'em what they want! Trumpets, violins, flutes and cymbals! Everyone!" the skeletons did a short salute and readied their instruments, "CanCan!"
The ponies were dubious at first, but then a small sound reached them. What started as a short, small tune quickly grew in volume and speed as violins and trumpets joined the song and played in perfect unison... while the lead skeleton played the triangle, "Yes! That's it! Make Jacques proud, boys! HaHaHa!"
As the orchestra continued to play countless imps danced around them, colorful costumes and grotesque masks turning into a blur of color as the ponies continued to watch in wonder and marvel.
And as the parade marched on, demons juggled laughing and singing skulls and a huge ogre threw out candy to the cheering ponies, Calindria couldn't help but wonder how the necromancer was doing with his dare.
At least until the kraken decided to use her as a flag.
---
"Don't be ridiculous, Luna!" Aergad laughed as he chased after her, "It will only take a minute! I'm sure Celestia won't mind at all!"
"Leave me in peace!" Luna shouted as she ran, "I refuse to be a part of this insanity!"
There was a small flash from the back and the necromancer reappeared next to her, "You know..." he smiled as she watched her surprised face, "I do like it when they make me work for it."
"I don't!" she shouted and charged up her magic, a blue bolt spouting from her horn and towards his face... only for him to catch it out of the air with a small laugh, "Still powerful... but still not very wise." he chuckled and pouted his lips, "Now give me some sugar!"
The necromancer made a jump for her, but Luna disappeared in a flash of light before he could reach her, "Ahh... no fair!" he laughed as searched his surroundings, "Now where would a deity of the moon hide?" Aergad tilted his head slightly and took a look through one of the windows and at the sky... searching for the moon, "Naahhh... too obvious."
"Shouldn't you stop it?" Xhergis poked her head out of his pocket, "I don't think princess Celestia will be happy once she recovers... not to mention what queen Chrysalis would say if she heard."
The necromancer waved a dismissive hand, "She'd laugh about it..." he sighed, "I do hope she'll come visit me from time to time once I've set up my country."
"What are you going to call it?"
"Call what?" Aergad replied as he lifted a curtain to peek behind it.
"Your country?" Xhergis asked, "What name are you going to call it?"
"Ohh... I don't know yet." he smirked, "I'll think of something once it's there..." Aergad looked out another window and down at the Canterlot maze below, "That looks promising... Chase a princess through the maze, win a prize."
---
"You're lost, aren't you?" Xhergis gave him a frown. The necromancer had been searching the maze for a full hour by now, "I know we've passed that bench before."
"Oh, lighten up Buttercup." he chuckled, "I still have a princess to kiss..." he stopped at a junction, "Does this look familiar to you?"
"It's the same crossing we've passed three times already!"
The necromancer scratched his chin in thought, "Are you sure?"
"Yes! For crying out loud, yes! Admit it already, you're lost!"
"I don't know..." Aergad paused, "That leaf doesn't look familiar to me."
"Argh!" Xhergis wailed in despair, "You are driving me insane! Can't we just go back? Please?"
"And lose the dare to the paladin? Never!" Aergad cracked the knuckles of his fists, "But you're right, I'm getting tired of this maze."
"I never said anything about..." she was cut off as the necromancer channeled the mana around him, brought forth his hands in a pushing motion... and shot a fireball that burned a hole throughout the entire maze.
"See?" he chuckled, "It's much nicer this way."
"You ruined the royal maze! Celestia will be furious!"
"I think it is quite an improvement." another voice spoke up behind the necromancer, "And such a beautiful job on the miniature changeling... does she do tricks?"
"Buttercup? Give her a bed and she can do some amazing..." Aergad turned around to see who he was talking to, his eyebrow raising slightly as he came face to face with something new, "Things..."
By this point, Xhergis could do nothing but stare in horror.
"Greetings!" a lion paw was offered to Aergad, "I am Discord, king of fun and straight back from vacation." a toothy grin appeared on his face.
The necromancer seemed to hesitate for a moment, but then reached out and grasped the paw in his hand, "Aergad, necromancer..." he tilted his head with a strange expression on his face, "Charmed?"
Discord returned the shake, "Absolutely! I have never seen something as interesting as you..." he retrieved his paw and observed Aergad's form, "I like the robe... so mysterious!"
"Thanks... I like... how all of your body is made of different parts?"
"Oh, you'll soon see that there is a lot more to me to adore." a strange chuckle escaped Discord, "But first, you wouldn't have happened to have seen a white alicorn around?"
"You mean Celestia? She's somewhere in the castle... Are you a friend of hers?"
"Aergad!" Xhergis whispered, "Be careful!"
"Oh, I am more than just an old friend..." he turned around and started to float towards the castle, "We'll meet again, I'm sure. Bye!"
The necromancer watched the strange being leave, feeling at a slight loss at what to say for the first time in his life... "It's him..." he whispered, "I thought my old man was just playing a trick on me... but that's really him."
"Aergad! You have to do something! He's..." Xhergis tried to get his attention.
"He's the one that's going to kill me..."
A good distance down the smoking tunnel in the maze, Discord turned around with a smile on his face, "Before I forget... catch!" he threw something small and red towards him.
Still too baffled to think about what he was doing, Aergad caught the object by instinct... it was an apple. He watched the small thing in his hand with surprise, feeling a clear sign of chaotic energy run through it, "What in the..."
The apple exploded in his hand, Aergad's world went black.
---
Back in Ponyville, the skeleton orchestra fell apart and crumbled to dust.
For the first time in her life, Xhergis was crying.
She had seen Discord toss the apple towards the necromancer, just as she had seen him catch it with a baffled face. She had tried to warn him, but when the apple exploded in his hand... he had used his other hand to shield her. It had protected her from the main part of the explosion, but the sheer force of the blast had torn her wings to shreds.
When she finally regained consciousness, the necromancer was lying still on the ground, barely breathing and bleeding from cuts and burns all over his body, his robes torn and charred.
"Damn it, Aergad." she sobbed to herself as she clung to his hand, "Why didn't you protect yourself?"
She was sure he could have brought up some kind of protective spell in time, she had seen what he was capable of... but he had chosen to protect her instead... and it filled her with a feeling of guilt she could not comprehend.
"I guess I... always was one for foolish decisions..." a rasp broke through to her.
Xhergis turned her head to look at the necromancer's face, a pained expression on his lips as he breathed with ragged breaths.
"You're alive!" Xhergis shouted and ran to his face, "Can you get up?"
"Sorry, Buttercup." he coughed, "I don't think I'm going anywhere like this..." a small chuckle escaped him, "Damn chaos magic... can't protect yourself for shit... and absorbing that crap fucks you up beyond belief..."
"But you can heal yourself?"
"Too much damage..." he wheezed, "And I won't be able to put a hole into that arse while I'm alive, I'm afraid..."
Xhergis recoiled, "No! I can get help! I can..."
"Don't fuss so much, Buttercup." Aergad croaked, "There's still something I can do..." he slowly lifted his hand and held it over her. Before Xhergis knew what was happening, a soft glow escaped his hand and she felt a warm sensation run through her torn wings. When she turned her head to see what had happened, her wings were fully healed again.
"No! You need to heal yourself! Why did you..."
"Quiet, you..." he replied as he placed the hand on his own chest, "I'm trying to concentrate." slowly, a deep red glow started to seep over him.
"What are you doing?" Xhergis asked with worry.
"Giving myself an edge..." he whispered, "I'm not going to let that guy be the one to end me... but I can't run from fate either..." he pulled up his hand, a bright light following from his chest, "So I'm going to trick my old man... Fuck, that feels really, really weird."
Xhergis watched in terror as the necromancer grew deathly pale... and it almost seemed like his breathing was becoming more and more shallow, but he ignored her concerned expression and carefully turned his head to look around himself, "I need a focus..."
"A what?"
"Something to hold this..." he held the light in his hand.
"What is it?" Xhergis eyed the shining star with wonder.
"My soul..." he almost laughed when he saw her terrified expression, "This is probably a bad idea... but could you bring me that stone over there?"
---
Pipsqueak took a careful peak out of the window. He didn't know exactly what was going on, but it couldn't be good. One moment he and his family had enjoyed the paladin's parade, the next thing they knew chaos had descended.
Houses started to float upside down, pink clouds rained chocolate milk... and huge vegetables chased any ponies they found on the streets. Countless strangely deformed animals now roamed the streets of Ponyville, terrifying the population... but not the inhabitants of the necromancer's tower... nor the paladin.
They were fighting ferociously, doing their best to keep everyone protected... but at the same time Pipsqueak couldn't help but worry if the necromancer was safe and well.
---
"Drive back those carrots!" the paladin brought her sword down in a wide arch, cutting off the top portion of a carrot in a spray of orange juices, "Protect the ponies!" next to her, the kraken was using all of his arms to rain destruction on the rampaging fruit... the area around it looked like a huge bowl of salad by now.
"What in the world is Aergad doing?! Where is he?!" the paladin shouted over to the imps who were hoarding up long-legged bunnies and exploding pigeons with the help of Twilight Sparkle.
"This isn't the work of the boss!" one of the imps replied with a grunt, "This is chaos magic! The boss never touches that stuff!"
"Chaos magic?!" Twilight Sparkle replied with a shocked voice, "Oh, no! We need to get the girls together and get to Canterlot immediately!"
"How?!" the paladin bashed her shield onto a huge tomato, red juices covering her armor with a sickening sound, "We need to keep the population safe! Where is Tobie when you need him?!"
"Tobie is on a special mission..." a hollow voice spoke up. The ponies and the paladin turned around to see a small army of skeletons march up, armed to the teeth with swords and axes.
"Where did you come from?!" Calindria asked, "I saw you fall to ashes!"
"Different guys..." the head skeleton shrugged, "The boss called us in to help... also told us to tell you that if Twilight Sprinkle..."
"Sparkle!" Twilight corrected him.
"Pfff... sure." the skeleton readied its sword, "The boss said that if you fleshies got anything planned to do against Discord, now is the time. We'll keep the veggies in check, he'll buy you as much time as he can."
"Buy us time?" the paladin replied with a growing feeling of dread, "What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means that you fleshies should hurry." the skeleton raised his sword, "Alright, boys! Let's make some salad! Boss said to make this messy! Chop and hack!"
"Chop and hack!" the skeletons cried in unison before storming towards the rampaging fruit.
---
It felt weird, not quite as weird as he had expected it to feel but still weird. Aergad clutched the small, smooth pebble under his robes to reassure himself it was still there. It was dangerous, more dangerous than he liked to admit. The transcendence required him to carry it on his body until the transformation was complete... and it worried him.
He could already feel his powers growing, but there simply wasn't enough time for him to wait until it was finished... so he would carry his soul with him and pray that it would not break in the battle that was about to take place. He had no notion of beating Discord, not even with himself on the verge of lichdom... but he would be damned if he wouldn't have the final word in this.
Aergad leaned against one of the walls, a frail hand that was already starting to rot leaning on it for support. He wasn't in any actual pain... of course not. His body was dead for all purposes. A sad sighed escaped his empty lungs... he would never feel the sun on his skin again.
As he continued his way he passed a mirror, the face staring back at him with dead eyes causing him to pull down his torn hood further to cover his features. How could he ever face his mother looking like this?
Aergad felt his anger rise within him as he remembered Discord's smile, "You just wait, fuckface..." the curtains next to him caught fire as his anger continued to grow, "You just wait till I'm through with you."
He paused for a moment as he realized how hollow his voice had become, "How can a clam cram in a clean cream can?" he chuckled, "Okay, at least that part is kinda cool."
The chuckle died on his lips though, when he came around a corner and face to face with two statues that looked exactly like princess Celestia and Luna, both with shocked expressions on their frozen faces.
"Ah... crap."
---
Discord leaned back on his throne with a happy laugh, "Ahh.. finally back on my rightful profession... It feels good to bring joy to everyone. A little chaos here and there to pick up the pace... So many ideas, so little time. Oh, wait... I forgot!" his laugh grew louder, "I have all the time in the world!"
Turning the alicorn sisters into stone, sending a raid of vegetables to take care of the element bearers... he couldn't help but wonder why he hadn't thought of this the last time. Not that it mattered now though, with the ponies trapped in Ponyville there was nothing that could stop him... he had won, he was sure of it. To top things off, he had even gotten to blow up something new... adding to his list of blowing up stuff. Discord scratched his head, "Do I have a list of blowing up stuff?"
His contemplation was cut off though, as something huge broke through the ceiling above him and fell down upon him... several stubby arms grabbing onto him and two eyes with too much space between them staring at him with rage.
"Evil lizard hurt father!" the foul smelling ball of flesh, muscles and arms shouted at him, "Now, Tobie does as father says and goes smash!" fifteen pudgy arms were raised into the air and pummeled down onto the surprised Discord with enough force to shatter stone... and a speed that made the air crack.
"How did things turn out like this?" Aergad sighed and placed his frail hands on both of the statues, concentrating to let his mind traverse through the stone.
After a short moment, he found himself surrounded by darkness... and in front of the two alicorn sisters. The connection had been established.
"Aergad?" Celestia looked at him with surprise, "Is that you? We thought you had perished..."
He reached up and pulled back his hood, revealing his already decaying head, "I did."
Luna watched his empty eyes with horror, "What happened to you?"
Aergad replaced the hood with a small chuckle, "I turned myself undead, so that I could fight Discord on more even terms."
"You what?!" Celestia was shocked.
"A necromancer can surpass himself if he becomes a Lich, an undead. This way, the amount of mana I can channel throughout my body increases dramatically..." he sighed and fished out a small pebble from his robes, "Though it holds quite a risk to take this step, I'm afraid."
At first Celestia didn't understand the importance of the small rock he was holding, but then her mind made the connection. "Your soul?!" she shook her head with sadness, "Aergad... I..."
"We don't have much time for chit chat." he interrupted her and returned the stone to his pockets, "I had hoped to have your assistance in dealing with Discord... but it seems the situation requires a different approach."
"You can not fight him like this!" Celestia replied, "Even if you are more powerful than before I fear that it will not be enough." he gaze turned even sadder, "And should that stone break during your fight..."
"Sister, I don't understand..." Luna cast Aergad a worried gaze, "What will happen if that stone is destroyed?"
"I die." he replied with a solemn voice.
"Then you must not do it!" Luna said with dread, "You have to trust in Twilight Sparkle and the bearers of the elements to..."
"That won't work." he cut her off, "He's been keeping close attention on making sure none of them get out of Ponyville. Even with my minions helping them, they'll need me to buy them some time so they can surprise him... I need to make sure he won't have the time to bother them." he chuckled, "Plus, I still have a score to settle with that joking son of a bitch."
"But how?" Celestia asked him.
"As I said, the situation requires a different approach..." a frail smile appeared on his cracked lips, "And as I am now... I can channel a lot more than before." he turned to Celestia, "Remember the last sunrise I came to visit you? It was lovely... don't you think?"
Celestia seemed confused at his question, but then her eyes widened considerably, "You can not be serious! Dead or alive... it would be your end!"
Aergad let a small laugh escape him, his hollow voice making a strange, rasping sound, "I know... I know... But this is the only thing I can think of that may actually work." he held up his hands towards them, "Don't worry, I don't plan on doing anything suicidal..." he lied, "And I'm certainly not going to let that fuck have the last word in this either."
---
Queen Chrysalis stretched her legs with a small sigh as she went through the plans for the hive of the upcoming months. The necromancer had supplied Celestia with the vessels and once the alicorns had made their purpose public the changelings would start to supply the necromancer with the bodies of those that had passed on.
The necromancer... Chrysalis couldn't help but think that their last meeting had already been a while back and she always had stress that needed to be worked off... Something he had proven to be quite capable of. Unknown to Chrysalis, her subjects had noticed this as well.
After his last visit, the changelings didn't know if they were dreaming but Chrysalis was smiling for days... she didn't even snap or shout at anyone... they had even gotten a bit of free time, something that had never happened before. As the days passed though, the smile grew smaller and smaller again and by now, the changelings were actually hoping for the necromancer to make another visit.
They had even set up special patrols outside all entrances to make sure he wouldn't stand before closed doors again... and to lead him through the tunnels when he finally did decide to visit again.
The peace inside the hive came to an abrupt end though, as a miniature changeling came shooting through one of the tunnels and into Chrysalis' chambers shouting at the top of her lungs.
When Chrysalis finally understood what Xhergis was shouting about, she felt her heart come to a stop for the first time in centuries.
---
A thunder clap shook Canterlot castle, one of the walls exploding a moment later as Tobie shot through it and into another wall.
"Stupid... lizard..." Tobie mumbled as he tried to get up again. By now, half of his head and several arms were missing, not that it made much of a difference to him. He flopped around on his belly and started to push himself up, but froze when his remaining eye spotted something in front of him. Tobie's voice became soft, "Father?"
"You did good, Tobie." a frail hand patted his head softly, making Tobie smile as he watched the figure before him, "Now go help the paladin, I'll handle the rest."
Even with only half of his head remaining, Tobie couldn't help but marvel at his father... He was burning, flames of pure mana dancing over his robes and breaking skin. And even though his dead eyes were unmoving, they too seemed to burn with the magical flames. With each motion his father made, each step he took and every word that left his lips... sparks sprang to life around him.
Tobie watched his father quietly step through the hole in the wall, noticing with wonder that the flames of mana were composed of three colors... a shining white that ran over his left, a deep velvety blue that surrounded his right... and a pitch-black ring of fire that floated around his head.
As the battle in Ponyville continued and as six ponies and the paladin fought their way through the streets of Canterlot... Discord, the deity of chaos found himself confronted with something unlike anything he had seen before.
Inside Canterlot castle, a tornado of fire and brimstone engulfed the throne room and rained down destruction upon him.
He had faced both Celestia and Luna before... and he had won, but this was very different. This creature, even though Discord could not comprehend how it was possible, he somehow wielded not only both of the alicorns' magic... But unlike the two sisters, he did it with the intent to kill.
"How is this possible?!" Discord snarled as he pulled up a shield of prismatic colors, "You should be dead!"
"I'll be the judge of that." Aergad pulled back his arm, a spear of pure light forming in it. As the spear started to bristle with energy, a blue glow surrounded it like a spiral, encasing the tip like an arrow head, "Hey, Discord." he sneered, "Catch."
The Lich hurled his spear, the projectile leaving his hands with an explosion of speed and shattering Discord's shield, enveloping him in an explosion as it struck his chest.
Aergad watched Discord fall down in a ball of smoke, but at the same time sunk to his own knees and watched his arm with worry. Normally a necromancer would do well to stay hidden during his transcendence, there simply were to many risks... especially in a fight.
Even though dead, his body still wasn't capable of channeling these amounts of mana... and the results were quick to show themselves. The flesh on his arm had nearly completely burned off at this point, he could even see bones... and the rest of his body wasn't in any better condition.
He concentrated for a moment to make sure that his connection with the alicorns wouldn't cut off and realigned some of the energy to make sure he could move his body even without muscles. There was no point in using any energy on protecting his body, not in a fight with a god.
Discord in the meanwhile, had risen from a smoking crater on the ground and it didn't come as much of a surprise to Aergad to see him unharmed. "What a foolish mortal you are..." Discord cackled, "I wasn't sure before, but now I can see what you did." a candy cane appeared in one of his hands and he pointed it at Aergad, "How long do you think you can survive with this amount of power running through your body?"
"Long enough to kick your ass." Aergad replied with a chuckle as he got to his feet again.
A snarl escaped Discord and a projectile of whirling chaos shot out off the cane towards Aergad, but the Lich simply disappeared with a silent word... only to reappear directly in front of Discord with both of his palms hovering in front of his chest.
"Ignite my cosmos..." the necromancer whispered, this time pulling power from his own reserves as black mana burst from his palms.
---
"There's no end to this insanity!" Calindria brought her sword down on a huge chocolate egg charging for her, covering her surroundings in cream filling as the shell burst into pieces, "This is taking too long!"
Around her, the mane six were all locked in their own fights with huge vegetables and other walking deserts. Through the confetti explosions caused by Pinkie's cannon, the paladin realized with dread that the castle was still far away. "We're not going to make it in time..." she whispered in defeat.
A buzzing sound reached her ears... and it slowly grew louder and louder. When the paladin finally looked up in wonder, she was surprised to see an army of changelings descend onto Canterlot and into the battle against Discord's creations. She and the ponies were even more surprised to see Chrysalis herself lead the charge.
"Spare none of these grotesque creations!" Chrysalis barked her orders as she landed next to Twilight Sparkle, "Go! Help Aergad! We will hold them off as long as we can!"
---
He couldn't feel his hands... The Lich sunk to his knees, staring at what remained of his fingers and finding that nothing but bones remained. "Black fire..." he chuckled softly, "One hell of a recoil..." he looked up and a lipless smile crossed his features, "But it sure does its thing."
On the ground before him, Discord was screaming and flailing around wildly as the black flames danced over his body.
Aergad shook his head with a small laugh, "You know... we two could have had a lot of fun together..." he tried to get to his feet again, "But I think my time is about to run out..." He was at his limit, already nothing more than bones, torn robes and magic. Any more... and he would fall to dust.
"Aargh!" Discord screamed as he rose again, the black flames still dancing over his body, "Who are you?!"
"I already told you..." Aergad fell onto his knees again, feeling his own spirit fading, "I'm the necromancer... " he leaned back his head with a laugh, concentrating all of the mana he had left and every ounce he could still grab from the alicorns in the bones of his fingertips, "And I'm all about explosions!"
He brought his hands his hands together in a clap, "I'm sorry, mom."
---
Both in Ponyville and Canterlot, imps, skeletons, ponies and changelings alike watched in horror... as Canterlot castle was engulfed in a sphere of pure, radiating light... a star shining for the world to see as somewhere inside, a small pebble broke to pieces.
After the flash of light had disappeared again... Canterlot castle lay in ruins. Discord's creations had disappeared.
Slowly, as the dust started to settle ponies started to emerge from the rubble... startled and shocked, but otherwise unharmed. Whatever the blast had been, not a single soul had been hurt by it... not a single soul, except Discord himself.
When the mane six and Calindria finally found him, Celestia and Luna were already standing next to him, watching his unmoving and charred form in wonder. "I never thought something like this would be possible..." Celestia whispered, "To think that there was something besides the elements that could actually defeat him..."
"So..." Rainbow Dash felt unpleasantly out of place, "Should we... you know?"
"Yes, that would be best." Celestia replied with a sigh as the element bearers prepared to imprison him in stone once more, "But where is Aergad? What happened to him?"
"You don't think he..." Luna's face saddened as she saw Celestia sink her head, "No... I refuse to believe he would simply go like that!" behind her, a flash of rainbow colors signaled that Discord was once again imprisoned in stone.
"Neither do I, princess." the paladin tried to reassure them, "I'm sure he's just waiting to pop out of some place..." she failed to hide the uncertainty in her voice, "We should look for him..."
"We'll help too!" Twilight and her friends walked up to them, "I'm sure he is alright."
Ponies and changelings alike started to shift through the rubble, searching for any clues to the necromancer's whereabouts. The progress was slow, everywhere guard ponies and servant needed to be dug out of the rubble. When the imps arrived though, they finally started to make some progress.
It took them two hours to clear the rubble away... and when they finally did find the necromancer, a devastated silence spread over the grounds of the former castle.
All that remained of him was a skeleton in charred and torn robes of black, a white skull with empty eye sockets grinning at the sky and watching the clouds pass by. Next to him, the shattered remains of a small black pebble were spread out over the ground.
"Oh, no..." Celestia whispered and hung her head, "Not like this..."
"This is my fault..." Calindria murmured with a devastated voice,"If I hadn't screwed up his spell all of this would never have happened..."
"And we never would have met... nor would we have gained such a good friend to remember." Luna replied with a sad smile, "Do not blame yourself for this... he made this decision for himself. He saved us all when we failed at our most troubled hour." she turned to look back at the skeleton, "And we will remember his valiant sacrifice."
"Why didn't he just hide?" Twilight asked with sadness, "We could have figured something out..."
Celestia shook her head with a sigh, "I do not know, Twilight..."
"Celestia?" they looked up to see Chrysalis approach them, "Have you found Aergad? What are you..." she became silent as she saw what they were looking at, "No... this can not be true... it must be a joke of his..."
"I am sorry, Chrysalis... but Aergad is..."
"ALIVE! Or something like that..." a voice interrupted them, making all of those present recoil in surprise as the necromancer's skeleton jumped onto his feet and started to dance around, "Who's awesome?! I'm awesome!" he turned to look at the terrified expression of those around him, "What?"
"You're..." Calindria stammered, "What in the hells are you?!"
"You mean, besides being awesome?" he chuckled and his bones struck together, making a ridiculous clacking noise in the progress.
"How are you still here if your vessel is broken?" Celestia asked with a bewildered expression.
"My what now?" he took a step to the side and a crunching sound reached his ears, "Huh?" Aergad lifted his foot and spotted the broken pebble below, "Oh... that means..." his arms fell to his side, "Ahh... shit."
"What does it mean?" Twilight managed to ask, still baffled at his new appearance.
"It means that Aergad has finally taken my place..."
They turned around at the sound of the hollow voice... and stared into the eyeless pony skull of death himself.
"Is that..." Applejack swallowed, "Is that who I think it is?"
"Hi, dad..." the necromancer's voice became low.
"Dad?!" Celestia cast him an incredulous look before turning to Death, "What is the meaning of this?"
"From time to time, as the dimensions continue to grow... I grow tired." Death stated, "Aergad was born as my son... and from this moment onwards, he will be the Death of this world." he gave Aergad a short nod, "It is good to see that you have finally stopped running."
"Yeah, yeah... suck it up." Aergad rubbed his skinless temples, "So how does this work? If I shake my wrist do I..." he shook his wrist and immediately, a list appeared in his fingers, "Huh..."
"Your tools will come as you require them." Death explained, "I am sure you will do fine."
"He's the new death?!" Twilight finally started to put the words together inside her mind.
"I don't believe it..." Calindria groaned, "Someone tell me this is a dream."
"Some dream..." Luna remarked next to her.
"Okay, I admit that was kinda cool..." Aergad shook his finger at Death, "But I am not going to look like a pony!"
"That is your decision to make." Death replied.
Aergad scratched his head, "Wait, does this mean I can poke people with a finger and make them drop dead? That would be so cool!"
"You will be able to summon a scythe to do your work..." Death replied, "But yes, the touch of death is an option too."
"Can he really just appoint a new Death like that?" Chrysalis asked Celestia with a frown.
"I don't know..." Celestia replied with uncertainty.
"I can." Death interrupted her, "This has always been his destiny and... Aergad, don't..."
"Twilight... hold still for a moment." Aergad chuckled as he stood above her, "I'm going to make a practice run." he raised one of his fingers.
"You are going to what?!" Twilight started to grow pale and quickly backpedaled away from him.
"Don't worry. First one is always a dud!" he laughed as he started to run after her, "Don't make me get my scythe!"
Death watched his son chase the screaming Twilight through the ruins of Canterlot castle, an invisible smile passing over his features, "It seems I am no longer needed here." he turned to the alicorn sisters, "Goodbye." and with that, Death vanished again.
"I still can't believe it..." Celestia mumbled as she watched the laughing Aergad continue to chase the terrified Twilight, "Aergad is the new Death of Equis..."
Calindria let a tired groan escape her, "Just when you think things can't get any more insane... he goes and tops it all."
"Come back here, Twilight! I still have to poke you with my finger!"
---
Pipsqueak took another look out of the window as he got ready for sleep. It seemed that everything had turned out well... the huge vegetables had disappeared, the rain had stopped... everything was back to normal. Two weeks had passed since that day of chaos and many things had happened.
The paladin had left, accompanied by Tobie and carrying countless chests filled with strange scrolls and charms. The tower had been reopened again and the changelings had made a public apology followed by a proclamation about some strange bottles...
Pipsqueak himself had talked to his parents about what he had asked from the necromancer, and after hearing what had happened in Canterlot they had tentatively agreed to allow the young foal to study under his guidance... It had taken a whole week for the necromancer to reply to Pipsqueak's letter, but when it finally came in the form of a small note Pipsqueak was overjoyed.
He found it strange that the necromancer had not been seen anywhere these days... what could he be doing? Pipsqueak closed his eyes with a small smile, it didn't matter now... because tomorrow, a new life would start for him.
Tomorrow, he would become the necromancer's apprentice.
Little did Pipsqueak know what a strange journey he was heading for.
