Twilight Sparkle, personal student of Princess Celestia, is sent by her teacher to retrieve a very specific book from the Royal Library. The only problem is, she doesn't know what it's called or where to find it.

Fortunately for her, libraries are the most orderly, most mundane and certainly the safest of places one could possibly be. Or, so she thinks.

Twilight is about to find out how very strange the world of books can truly be.

A/N:
This story takes place before season 1. Many thanks to Coandco and Ekevoo for editing and pre-reading.
Cover image: Old Book Bindings

A forgotten manuscript reveals an odd journey purportedly undertaken by Lord Dunsany, a Promethean explorer of the Lands of Dream. While the manuscript has yet to be authenticated, its contents are interesting enough to merit my posting them here.

Thanks to Estee and Humanoid for their assistance in preparing this transcription, and their invaluable advice.

[5/25/2015] Now reviewed by Seattle's Angels, and featured at Royal Canterlot Library.

[5/26/2015] And now, by grace of Illya Leonov, there is an audiobook! Youtube / MP3.

This story is a sequel to Deep Cover

Butter Up isn't Fluttershy -- but she does play her on TV.

Lotus is a professional masseuse. She sees the pony below the skin, and tends to coax just as much out of their mouths as their muscles. Late one day, she gives three very different massages to three close friends, all of whom mention a name she isn't familiar with: Applejack.

Featured by The Royal Canterlot Library and Equestria Daily

The original version of the story took 5th place in The Writeoff Association's February 2015 contest, "Closing Time"

Crime was easy before Princess Twilight and the First Five ushered in a golden age of Harmony. Back then, any idiot could plan a robbery, just like any rat could sneak through the cracks in wooden granary walls. But now that everything is cloudstone and clearsteel, with magical countermeasures over the few remaining holes, it takes a different breed of rat to survive.

"Slippery" Jimmy the Grey is one of the rare few ponies who can still slip through the cracks — even with the legendary Rainbow Corps on his tail. Now he's got a billion-bit heist planned in the gleaming skyscrapers of Cloudsdale. If only he hadn't made the mistake of stealing from a dragon …

Now with a reading by Illya Leonov and Scribbler!

* * *

This is a crossover with Harry Harrison's Stainless Steel Rat novels, but it assumes no knowledge of the series.

Winner of February's Writeoff Association competition! * Featured by Equestria Daily! * Featured by Seattle's Angels!

REVIEWS: "Highly Recommended" by Titanium Dragon; "Recommended" by Present Perfect; rated "Why Haven't You Read This Yet?" by PaulAsaran

WORD OF MOUTH:
"The Iridescent Iron Rat was not only my favorite story from the most recent writeoff... it's my favorite story of anything I've read in months." —Sharp Spark

"What a ride it is. This story is made of awesome moments." —Casca, Seattle's Angels

"[A]stounding on so many levels. … If there’s one story from this round you have to pick, make it this one." —Corejo, Seattle's Angels

"Absolutely beautifully done. It fits the style and feel of the books to a perfect T." —Themaskedferret

Hearts and Hooves Day is a sorry excuse for a holiday. Maybe it's the fact that most of her dates tend to get eaten by manticores, but Daring Do has long since given up on risen above any longing for romance.

But that doesn't mean she's not 100% okay with slinking into the Sugar Cloud Confectionery to hit up their sale on rainbow truffles. Hay no. This is her most important quest of the year.

Hopefully it doesn't end up like last Hearts and Hooves Day.

Stupid Wonderbolt.

Spanish Translation from Spaniard Kiwi!
1st Place in the Poniverse Hearts & Hooves Day contest!
Featured on Equestria Daily 3/27/15!
PresentPerfect Highly Recommends!
Invading your news feed 06/05/15!

Immortality isn't all it's cracked up to be. Just ask someone who would know. Like... Apple Bloom, for instance.

Written for the February Writeoff - Closing Time

Ponies expect certain things from a mysterious shop that appears at the end of a lonely side street, and Old Gob does his very best to provide that experience. The candlelight flickers, a thick layer of dust coats items of dark and fantastic powers, and the door creaks ominously as ponies enter and leave with their purchases to discover the costs and rewards. Of course, sometimes the costs outweigh the rewards.

They certainly did for Twilight Sparkle and her friends. So when they manage to get to the shop right before it closes and disappears, they aren't going to leave until they get a refund.

(Fic contains a small amount of comedic TwiJack shipping.)

Second place winner for the February Writeoff Association prompt "Closing Time."

Rainbow Dash is trapped in a room, and she can't get out until she writes a letter.

Russian translation by Repitter.

Russian audio reading, also by Repitter.

Proofread by MrNumbers and Octavia Harmony.

When five foals asked Princess Twilight Sparkle to please try and paint the moon purple during Nightmare Night, she initially refused. It wasn't until they insisted (and Princess Luna quite basically dared her) that she relented. She only relented, however, because she really thought she wouldn't be able to do it.

Too bad she thought wrong.

A very silly story that started as a prompt that got way, way, way out of hand.