• Member Since 14th Oct, 2015

Cantwriteforshit


Bio!? ...for what purpose? My username should be all the information you need!

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Found 40 stories in 45ms

Total Words: 1,222,938
Estimated Reading: 3 days

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  • Featured 23170 stories Stories that have been featured on Fimfiction ( Automatically populated! )


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E
Source

Twilight crosses the mirror portal to pursue Sunset Shimmer after the theft of the Element of Magic. She finds herself in a world of odd two-legged creatures, and for some reason they're all obsessed with a card game called "Duel Monsters." Twilight soon learns that the only way to get her crown back is to win it in the school's semi-annual duel tournament, of which Sunset has been the reigning champion three rounds running. The tournaments have divided the school, and split up a group of five friends similar to Twilight's friends in Equestria.

Twilight now faces her biggest adventure yet. She must master Duel Monsters, reconcile these other versions of her friends, and defeat Sunset to win the Autumn Crown. And she has only three days to pull it off. It's time to duel!

Pre-read by The Albinocorn and RTStephens. Cover art by EGStudios93

View Twilight's deck here. View Sunset’s deck here.

Reading by Martialartfruituser here

Artwork of the Harmony Spirits by Ajustice90. View them on DA here and here.

Chapters (24)
T
Source

Our six heroes decide to settle down for the night with a few bottles of their choice beverage and a few hands of poker.

The night was going so well until Rarity decided to wager her virginity.

Now she's desperate to get it back.

(Formerly known as Rarity Loses Her Virginity in a Poker Game. The author's artistic integrity was long gone by the time of writing this.)

Special thanks to Blue_Paladin42.

Chapters (3)
T

On behalf of the Canterlot University of Electrical Engineering, Princess Celestia sends her star pupil a mysterious contraption she wants her to take for "beta testing".

A mysterious, new invention dubbed the "Xbox 360".

Shenanigans and hilarity will ensue.

Link to TVTropes page: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/TheElementsOfGaming
Link to story on EqD: http://www.equestriadaily.com/2011/07/story-elements-of-gaming.html

Chapters (12)
T
Source

Jake, a new arrival to Equestria, finds himself roped into a high tea with Princess Celestia and a group of snobby nobles. The lunch is boring, the tea is boring, and the nobles are boring. Celestia gives Jake an out, and he takes it, braving a final conversation with one 'Lady Rarity' in the hopes that he can escape the whole boring affair and get a cup of goddamn coffee.

Inspired by the amazing cover art, by SunBusting.

Rated T for snarky language and witty banter.
The sequel to this story is now available.

Chapters (1)
E

This story is a sequel to Fluttershy vs. Vacuum Cleaner


Fluttershy just wanted to send an apology letter to a friend. Instead, she got a human tablet.

Special thanks to FloydienSlip and Blueshift for editing.

Chapters (1)
T
Source

In the best case scenario, diplomacy is a long, complicated, and often frustrating undertaking. This is not the best case scenario.





Picture is from silfoe

Chapters (1)
E
Source

One day, just like that, Celestia decides she's going to go mad with power.


Full-cast audiobook by Illya Leonov.


Edited by MrNumbers and Themaskedferret. Winner of FanofMostEverything's Imposing Sovereigns contest!

As seen on EQD and the Royal Canterlot Library.

Chapters (1)
E

During a lull in the conversation at an upper class charity dinner, Rarity takes a moment to contemplate some commonly held assumptions made of Princess Celestia. Specifically, her table manners.

Chapters (1)
E
Source

Straight from the Canterlot archives, this collection of documents retells the rise and fall of Princess Twilight Sparkle, Enlightened Despot of Equestria, Defender of the Peace, Lawgiver, and Commander of Fort Libris.

Twilight Sparkle is, of course, known to historians as the first usurper to seek to schedule a coup d'etat by appointment. But for other details- such as, "What is the longest recorded time a pony has gone without sleep?", "Is it true what they say about swans?", and, "Why is there an owlbear in the Equestrian Witness Protection Program?"- these documents provide the answers and much, much more.

This is ABSOLUTELY SERIOUS HISTORY from primary sources. If anything makes you think this is silly, ludicrous, or unbelievable, blame Discord.

Written for FanOfMostEverything's Imposing Sovereigns writing contest.

EDIT 3-15-17: Wow, almost instant featured! Was NOT expecting that!

EDIT 4-8-2017: Featured in the Royal Canterlot Library! Thanks!

Part of the Remember Fort Libris print anthology, thanks to our Kickstarter supporters!

Chapters (2)
T
Source

In the early days of Equestria, a dragon threatens the fledgling realm. It falls to Clover the Clever and Smart Cookie to find a way to defeat the beast.

Princess Platinum's helping too, though. Whether they want her to or not.

Cover art from the gallery of scrimpeh. Proofread by themaskedferret. Written for the Imposing Sovereigns contest and for the Marching Forth theme for the Time Action Glory Challenge! group.

Spanish translation, by SPANIARD-KIWI.

Chapters (1)