//------------------------------// // Command and Conquer: Tiberium Wars // Story: The Elements of Gaming // by HellRyden //------------------------------// The Elements of Gaming 3 Command and Conquer: Tiberium Wars By Ryden and Xephfyre -- Twilight Sparkle yawned tiredly as she trudged back to her home library in the town of Ponyville. Last night had been a figurative hell - after Pinkie Pie had scared the living daylights out of her in the dead of night with a slasher smile and a prop chainsaw, the lavender unicorn had been utterly unable to sleep despite Pinkie Pie’s subsequent assurances that it had all been in the spirit of ‘good’ humor. Eyebags heavy under her eyes and eyelids fluttering weakly, desperately trying to stay open, Twilight gave the door to her home a tired tug before virtually collapsing at her doorstep in a heap, moaning tiredly. “Spike? Spiiiiiike?” She called out in her typical manner, and as faithfully as ever, her number one assistant was already there to help her up. “Whoa, Twilight!” Spike exclaimed in shock as he came to answer the door, only to find his closest friend collapsed at the doorstep in an exhausted heap. “What in blazes happened to you!?” “Fatigue did.” The violet unicorn answered in a mutter as Spike helped her back onto her hooves, and staggered forward back into the welcoming comfort of her home. “Get me some tea, will you Spike? I’ve got a massive headache that needs soothing...” “Got it! One pot of- urp-” “What is it, Spike?” Twilight asked, “another letter from the Princess?” “No, it’s- mmph-  something- oogh- big!” Before Spike could say anything else, the infant dragon belched forth a massive column of green fire much larger than the normally tiny wisps he was accustomed to, resulting in a long and rather disgusting sound. “Spike! I know this is your royal duty, but for heaven’s sake, show some decorum! Where are your-” Before Twilight could finish her sentence, the massive green column of flame coagulated into a roiling sphere of fire above her head, somehow suspending itself in mid-air. “Uhhm, Spike? What is tha- In a flash of green light, the sphere dispelled itself and revealed a large and rather heavy-looking black box within. Hovering almost comically over Twilight’s head for a few seconds, gravity soon decided it was time to put that joke to an end. With a loud, resounding crash, and a muffled “OOF” from the purple unicorn, the box came down hard on Twilight’s midsection and pinned her to the floor. Craning her neck up from the floor, Twilight affixed her faithful assistant with a gaze that anypony could swear would otherwise cut through concrete walls. “Ugh... did you PLAN this, Spike?” Spike put on a facade of mock surprise, and gave Twilight an utterly mock look of consternation. “Twilight! I’m shocked that you would think I’d ever do such a thing on purpose!” “UGH!” Twilight moaned, and motioned for her assistant, “then stop giving me that face and come over here and GET THIS THING OFF ME!” “Wow... gettin’ a little huffy there, aren’t we, Twilight?” “Har de har har, Spike” she countered, clearly not in the mood for jokes. Spike quickly moved to Twilight’s side, giving the heavy-looking box a lift and practically staggering backwards as he wobbled unsteadily under its weight. “Whoa, wh-whoa! Man, Twilight, this thing is heavy!” Remarked the baby dragon as he carefully set the box down on the floor, not wanting to risk any damage in case its contents were fragile. “You don’t say, Spike?” Muttered the lavender unicorn as she stepped closer to the box, her curiosity overpowering the fatigue that weighed down so heavily on her bones. “Hmm... I wonder what this thing is, and why the Princess would’ve sent it to me. Looks pretty similar to the Xbox... just bigger and heavier!” “Oh, hold up!” said Spike, giving his stomach a grab as another wave of gas hit him, forcing him to cover his mouth with a claw. “I-I think I feel another one... HURGHPPP.” Without warning, another belch of green flame escaped from the dragon’s mouth, but this time much, much smaller - the typical wisp of flame that preceded a letter from the Princess, and sure enough, the wisp coalesced right before Twilight, unfurling to reveal a thin, rectangular box that glistened with a chromatic sheen. Attached to the front box by a simple wax seal was a tiny letter. As Twilight peered closer, she could make out the the ornate seal of the royal palace... and her mentor’s signature penmanship. My Dearest, Most Faithful Student I do hope you’ve very much enjoyed the latest title put together by the very talented engineers over here at the Canterlot University for Electrical Engineering. Twilight gave her eyes a short rub. “If exhaustion is any sign of enjoyment... I’m at Pinkie Pie’s greatest party ever.” Turning her eyes back to the Princess’s letter, Twilight read on. It is my pleasure to inform you that as of today, you will be receiving another prototype, this time from the esteemed Canterlot University for Computer Science. They would like to seek both you and your friends for aid in the testing of this new device. I believe they had dubbed it the “personalized computation and calculation terminal,” or “personal computer” for short. You will find, enclosed with this letter yet another game, this time crafted by development teams hand-picked by the school’s teaching board and approved by none other than myself. They would be very much grateful if you were to extend them a much-needed helping hoof in testing their latest prototype. p.s. I think you will find this title very much to your liking. Your Mentor Princess Celestia Peering down at the box, Twilight gave it a rather apprehensive look, recalling her experience with another game that had “War” in the title. “Command and Conquer... Tiberium... Wars? If this is anything like Gears of War... Pinkie Pie’s not coming within three feet of this, I swear to Celestia. What do you think, Spike?” Unsurprisingly, the baby dragon had already unceremoniously shorn the black box wide open with his claws, and was now wading knee-deep in Styrofoam bubbles as he messily sifted through its contents. “I don’t know ‘bout the game, but if it’s anything, this thing here sure looks different from anything that’s even like the Xbox... I mean, it looks way huger, but it actually comes with its own screen!” “Hmmm...” Twilight mused to herself, turning the box over and looking at the screenshots adorning the back of the cover with a critical eye. “Well... seems pretty tame... I’m not seeing any blood... just... a very impersonal bird’s-eye view of lots of ponies. Well, if it isn’t as in-your-face as Gears of War was, I think this might be just fine. Spike, help me plug this ‘Personal Computer’ in! We’ve got some testing to do!” -- Much to her consternation, Twilight had found that this... “Personal Computer” was far more trouble to set up than she had imagined it would have been. Between the peripherals and the mass of entangled wires... the purple unicorn couldn’t make heads or tails out of the machine that was fast becoming the bane of her existence. She didn’t have the foggiest idea of which hole she was supposed to plug which jack into, and she had to go through the arduous process of trial and error as she tried to fit square pegs into round holes and round pegs into square holes. After what she expected as the tenth hour since setting out to what should have been a short and easy assembly, Twilight looked at the black box sitting above her desk, a messy mass of wires trailing behind it into various plugs strewn about beneath it as the screen sat serenely atop the table, its blank screen almost daring her to turn it on. “Okay... I did everything I could to follow the manual that came with this thing; if it doesn’t work, then I’m a parasprite.” Almost apprehensive, the lavender unicorn looked at what the manual had called a ‘CPU’ and gave its power button a tentative push - abruptly, lights on the CPU sprang to life as it began to emit a soft whirr, and Twilight’s heart leapt with joy at the prospect of her first successful assembly. “Oh my goodness... it’s working! Spike! It’s working!!!” The unicorn practically squealed in excitement as she quickly turned on the monitor as well. Her heart sank faster than a flaming unicorn falling from Cloudsdale when the monitor’s power light turned green, but nothing appeared. Almost immediately, her right eye started twitching, and her normally straight mane started fraying at the ends. “What- No- I- Wuh- uh- Wha...?!” “Uh.. Twilight, we haven’t plugged it in yet?” Came Spike’s voice as he tried to prevent Twilight from having another major breakdown. “Look! There’s a wire loose!” “A wire loose? Oh my gosh! Quick Spike, plug it in before we blow up Ponyville or something!” Twilight rushed in a panic, grabbing the wire from Spike’s hand before the infant reptile could react. Sweat pouring from her brow as she dove underneath the device, Twilight swam through the ocean of wires and jammed the wire into the first plug she saw, praying nothing would go wrong. By some miracle of the sun and stars above, it was exactly the right plug she needed, out of the few still unoccupied ones. She heard a faint buzzing from the desk above her, and she quickly clambered out from under it, frantically checking the monitor to see what had changed. In the center of the screen, a lone window pane came into focus. Slowly, it began to divide itself and split apart into four sections before each coming to a halt, hovering individually in their respective positions as each segment morphed into a different, individual color. As the smaller panes began to take on hues of red, blue, green and yellow, the words “Ponysoft Windows: XE Filly Edition” Ecstatic, Twilight bounded up and down her lab in a dizzying display of jubilation, which to anypony who might have seen her, would appear as if she had dosed herself on one too many teaspoons of sugar. Squealing “YES YES YES YES YES YES YES” like she did back when she was first accepted as Princess Celestia’s personal student, Twilight bounded up and down across her personal study before eventually settling down, thoroughly exhausted. “I think... wheeze- I think I’m going... haaaack- to bed now, Spike. Be a dear and help me get this game all set up, would you?” Spike snapped to attention and gave a quick salute. “You can count on me, Twilight!” As the unicorn mare trotted off to bed, Spike gave the PC a challenging grin, and walked up to it, the box for Tiberium Wars in his hand. Opening the case, Spike pried out the game’s disc and gave it a little twirl. “Sweeeeeeeeeeeeet! If I’m lucky, I’ll get to play this one before Twilight or any of the others do!” Giving the instruction manual a quick flip and tossing the game in the disc drive, Spike sat himself right in front of the screen, eagerly awaiting his very own shot at one of these games. No sooner had Spike popped the disc inside, a slow whirring came from the device, making him pray he didn’t something wrong. As soon as the whirring stopped, Spike extended a trembling claw towards the machine, only to quickly draw it back with a loud “AAH!” as a bright and chirpy voice suddenly blasted itself from the speakers Twilight had hooked up earlier. “Welcome to InstallShield Unicorn! To proceed with the setup of the game, please select your installation options!” Spike’s eyes bugged out at the window of options that suddenly appeared on the screen at that, realizing that he had absolutely no idea what to do here, lest he accidentally blow up the computer if he chose the wrong option or something, and that his hopes of playing anything at all before Twilight and the others had been dashed completely. “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!” --- With the first rays of Celestia’s dawn seeping in through the cracks in Twilight’s window, the purple-maned unicorn dragged herself out of bed and gave her stiff limbs a good morning stretch. After running through her daily morning rituals, giving her mane a good brush before brushing her teeth, she stepped out of the bathroom, ready to take on a new day. “Spike?” She called out, stepping out of her bedroom and into her study, wondering how the installation had gone while she was asleep. “Spike? How’d everything go-” The purple unicorn stopped dead in her tracks. She had expected to find Spike sleeping on the couch at most, but what she did not expect was to find her faithful assistant slumped over her desk, his eyes bloodshot and drool pouring out of his mouth in a steady stream. Sighing, Twilight trotted forward and waved a hoof in front of her assistant’s face - no response. The baby dragon was out like a light. Hmm... This called for desperate measures, Twilight thought to herself. “SPIIIIIIIIIIIKE!” She bellowed, “Rarity’s calling for you, she needs you to help her dig for jewels agaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaain!” “HUH WHA-?” Spike suddenly shot up in his seat, ramrod straight, his eyes still half-shut from the lack of sleep. That didn’t discourage him any, however - in fact, in spite of it, he immediately clambered out of the chair in a near-drunken flurry of movement, slurring and staggering his way out of the room. Hoisting a claw overhead in an overly dramatic fashion, Spike gave a loud cry and attempted to charge forward. “HOLD ON, RARITY, I’M COMI- *thunk*” And just like that, the baby dragon fell flat on his face as sleep finally took him, a gentle snore echoing from his lips. “Heheh, still the same old Spike...” Twilight chuckled as she nudged Spike onto her back before depositing him on the nearby couch, nuzzling the baby dragon affectionately. “Sleep tight, Spike. Thanks for helping me out.” Turning back to the PC behind her, Twilight hoped all had gone well, if not it meant another day agonizing over this infernal contraption. Luckily for her, the game had ‘installed’ itself, whatever that meant, successfully, the screen now flashing a message stating that “Tiberium Wars” was ready to play. “All right! Now, to see who to invite over for our testing session first...” Twilight began mulling to herself, pondering her decisions. Rarity and Fluttershy were the first to come to mind, seeing that they had missed yesterday’s testing session, and they had at least some form of catching up to do. Applejack and Rainbow Dash would probably still be a little apprehensive after the plethora of blood and gore that was Gears of War, but they would probably be willing to come over once Rarity and Fluttershy gave them a heads-up that Tiberium Wars was A-Okay. As for Pinkie Pie... Twilight winced at the memories of the prank the night before, and decided to inform the pink earth pony only after she had ascertained for a fact that this game wouldn’t be giving her any more nightmares. “But before any of that,” Twilight thought to herself, “It’s about time I put on some tea.” -- As the purple-maned unicorn slowly sipped on Zecora’s exquisite blend of foreign herbs and tea leaves, a knock on the door told her that her invitations had been answered. Casting an elementary “open” spell, Twilight gave the front door a gentle outward push to reveal both Rarity and Fluttershy standing in the doorway. “Twilight! Darling!” Cooed Rarity, “terribly sorry we couldn’t make it for the previous session, what with the Fashion Expo and all.” “That’s quite all right, Rarity,” Twilight reassured. “I’m just glad you could be here to help me out this time.” “But of course, Twilight,” whispered Fluttershy in her ever-quiet voice. “What are friends for?” Laughing, the lavender mare guided her friends over to where she had installed the PC, and was pleased to find Tiberium Wars already up and running, the main menu awaiting her selection amidst a series of low, baritone notes that played a haunting, melancholic melody. “Tiberium... Wars?” Rarity read the title off the screen with some trepidation, her expression somewhat creased in worry. “Oh dear, Twilight, this wouldn’t happen to be anything like that horrible ‘Gears of War’ game that you received the day before, did you? I’ve heard such terrible stories from Rainbow Dash!” “Oh, not at all, Rarity! In fact, I’ve taken a good, long look at the box art and the manual, and I assure you, this game is one hundred percent free of blood and gore!” Twilight proudly declared, settling herself into the seat at her desk and facing the screen. “In fact, from what I’ve seen from the manual, it seems to me like playing this is more like a... very elaborate game of chess. With a lot more types of pieces than you could shake a stick at.” “Chess? Oh heavens, Twilight, why didn’t you say so sooner! I’m glad that whoever made this game had some sense to develop something that suits my more cultured, refined tastes.” Twilight smiled at her friend’s reply. She expected Rarity’s apprehension, given that the upper-class fashionista was loathe to anything that was otherwise... graphically offensive in nature. Thankfully nothing a little quick thinking and few elaborate metaphors here and there couldn’t otherwise fix, despite being a little underhanded. “Well, what in Equestria are you waiting for, Twilight! Go on, get this game started!” With a rather forceful nudge from her right flank, Rarity sent Twilight spiraling right smack into her deskchair. Giving head a quick shake to right herself, Twilight moved the computer’s mouse around to set the cursor on the campaign option on the menu. Almost immediately, a side-menu appeared, prompting her to choose between two options, the ‘EDI Campaign’ or the ‘NOD Campaign’. The purple unicorn had already read through the manual before her two friends had arrived - from the brief summary she had read on the backstory of the game’s world, it was apparent that EDI were the good guys, while NOD were the bad guys. She doubted the in-game world was quite as simple as that, but she’d have to actually play the game to otherwise find out. She didn’t pause much before immediately selecting the EDI Campaign. Soon after making her choice, the screen abruptly went dark before a silver icon of a pegasus, swooping downwards with outstretched forehooves appeared before her. Once that came into focus, a silver, almost chromatic ring emblazoned itself around the pegasus , forming an emblem of sorts that began to slowly rotate, revealing a stunningly detailed 3-D model complete with the finest of touches. “Fillydelphia uplink successful.” “Welcome back, Commander.” -- After sitting through cutscene over cutscene discussing the war between the EDI and NOD, the rumors of NOD being on the rise again, plus a few other minor things she didn’t quite catch, Twilight was thrown headfirst into her first mission in the derelict warzone of the North Coltalina Badlands, her instructions to reactivate the nearby abandoned EDI outpost and investigate NOD activity in the region. At first the screen she was looking at displayed nothing but a desolate landscape blank of all life, save for a bird’s eye view of a deserted road and several half-destroyed buildings. As she looked around awkwardly, trying to figure out what she was supposed to do, a steady, reassuring voice boomed from the speakers, identifying himself as the Training Officer. “Greetings Commander Sparkle, this is EDI battle command, here to get you up to speed with some of the ground operations on this mission.” Twilight blushed a little, somehow being called “Commander” was quite flattering for the otherwise reserved unicorn. As she watched, two flying contraptions dragged along by Pegasi pilots flew on screen, coming to a stop at the centre of her view before slowly descending to a steady landing, disgorging from their metallic bellies two groups of uniformed ponies carrying rifles. “Establishing video uplink...” The robotic voice from the earlier introductory cutscene suddenly spoke, and a video transmission flared to life in the upper-right corner of Twilight’s screen, displaying one of the mares that had participated in the briefing earlier. “Commander, we need you to locate the old EDI outpost, and investigate-” “HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY GUYS!” Came Pinkie Pie’s shrill cry, as she burst through the door to Twilight’s study with a slightly winded Rainbow Dash and Applejack in tow. “Awww, the hay? You guys started without us!” Rainbow Dash put on a look of mock hurt as she quickly trotted forward, coming up behind Twilight and jamming her head over the unicorn’s shoulder at the screen. “Oooooooh.” The cyan pegasus practically cooed. “Celestia sent you something new? Why didn’t you tell us?” “I was... uh... checking whether it was blood-free! Yes, that’s it! Blood-free! What with that little incident with Gears of War and everything...” Thankfully, Rainbow Dash was never a pony that took a lot of convincing to win over. Despite Twilight’s rather plastic smile and shifty eyes, Dash merely gave her a quick shrug of the shoulders and proceeded to glue her eyes to the screen. “Oooooooh, what’s this one about, what’s this one about!” she rattled, clearly excited at the prospect of a new game. “Well, it’s a...” “Ooh, ooh! Who’re those little guys, are they on my side? What do I do with ‘em?!” “RAINBOW DASH!” Yelled Twilight Sparkle, “you need to give some respect to personal space! Now, as I was saying, this is a ‘real-time strategy game’, courtesy of the Canterlot University of Computer Science. It’s a very important job, and we must-” “Yeah yeah, now just hand me the manual over there and we can get down to some good ol’ fashioned flank-kickin’!” Twilight couldn’t help but sigh. At least she was starting to learn how to read the manual! -- At Rainbow Dash’s persistent pestering, Twilight had finally deigned to let her take the reigns for a match, but on the condition that she not mar her campaign progress with her antics. “I’m saving my campaign progress to write in a report to Princess Celestia, Rainbow,” Twilight had told her boisterous friend. “I’m sorry but I won’t let your antics mess up the contents of my section of the report! Here, the manual indicated a one-time scenario battle called Skirmish mode, you can have one round on that one.” “Aw, sweet! Thanks, Twilight!” Upon this, Rainbow Dash practically shoved Twilight out of the way and placed herself in her seat, jamming her hoof on the mouse buttons several times to select the Skirmish option. “Rainbow,” Rarity chided, “I do believe you only have to press the button once...?” “Nah! Everypony knows the more you press a button, the faster it works! Didn’t you go to elementary fillyschool, Rarity?” Every fiber of Rarity’s being screamed at her to retort, but every time she opened her mouth to say something, she found herself immediately closing it before having the chance to even say anything. Somehow, she got the feeling that the rainbow-maned pegasus didn’t quite subscribe to what most ponies called “common sense.” Looking around the various bars and options that were present, and having no patience for any of the different options she was presented with in the skirmish menu, Rainbow Dash simply set everything to Random, an action to which Twilight looked at her with very shocked eyes. “Rainbow! You do realize that you’ve just set the AI’s difficulty to Random as well, right? You could get saddled with the hardest kind of opponent for all you know!” Twilight warned, trying to spare her friend another bout of pent-up rage, but Rainbow Dash would have have none of it. “Who cares! That just means that when I kick its flank, it’ll go down so hard it’ll be tasting dirt for weeks!” The cyan pegasus proclaimed proudly as she hit the Start button, and eagerly awaited to see who she would be up against. The confident look on her face slid off so fast Twilight could swear it literally melted. As the screen flashed the words “Unfair Advantage,” “NOD Brutal Steamroller” and “EDI Brutal Steamroller” in front of the cyan pegasus, Applejack rolled over in a fit of rapturous laughter. The names sounded threatening enough that the orange mare didn’t even need to read the manual to realize that Rainbow Dash had been saddled with one of the hardest possible difficulties of the game. “Wow... Ah can’t imagine a worse selection fer yer first match, Rainbow.” Applejack said as she wiped tears of mirth off her face, still clutching her stomach as she laughed her flank off. “Yer right bucked, sister, that you are!” “W-well? So what!” Rainbow Dash quickly tried to salvage what was left of her bravado before she lost all face in front of her friends. “Steamroller Shmeemroller! That thing sounds slow as heck! When you’re as fast as I am, nothing even comes close!” “Well, if you say so, Rainbow.” Quipped Twilight, trying not to point out what had happened the last time Rainbow Dash’s bravado sent her spiraling into loss after loss at the hands of savage alien warriors. “Oooh! Look guys, it’s starting! It’s starting!” Yelled Pinkie Pie as she bounded up and down on the spot, her hoof pointing ecstatically at the screen. As the map came into view, Dash was presented with a bird’s eye view of a rolling green field marked on two ends by shimmering blue crystals protruding out of a fissure in the earth. Moving her mouse over the purple, hive-like structure in the middle of her point of view, Dash gave it a quick click as it came to life with a pulse of violet light and a low, throbbing hum. “Scrin Drone Platform, huh...” muttered the Cyan Pegasus, giving the screen a rather inquisitive look before breaking into one of her usual ear-to-ear grins that just screamed “overconfidence.” “Time to kick this little platform into overdrive!” Almost every pony assembled immediately took to plastering their face with a well-placed hoof. They didn’t think Rainbow Dash would even try saying something that corny. Immediately selecting the icon for the reactor, Dash quickly set about constructing her base. Following up with a Extractor and Foundry, Dash rubbed her hooves together in gleeful anticipation of her impending ‘greatness.’ The cyan pegasus was quick to set up all the basics - her reading of the manual along with the helpful hints that appeared over each item in the production tabs helped her find her bearings easily, and soon enough, she had at least one of each basic structure up and running. With a Portal for infantry, a Nerve Centre for upgrading her units, a Warp Sphere to produce vehicles and a Gravity Stabilizer for her air force, her base was soon taking shape. “Hmm...” Rainbow Dash muttered as she found herself drawn to the newest section of the production tab that had appeared the moment she threw down the Gravity Stabilizer. The icon on the tab displayed what appeared to be a streamlined, vaguely oval chariot in flight. She’d just found the aircraft production tab. “Stormriders?” Rainbow Dash read the name and description off the screen, and she immediately began rapidly clicking on its icon fervently, attempting to pump out as many of the fast-attack aircraft as fast as possible. “Oh yeah! The faster it is, the cooler it is!” Much to her annoyance, she soon found that she could only build at most, four Stormriders for every Gravity Stabilizer she had on the map. “Aww, c’mon, can’t I build more of these things?” The rainbow-maned pegasus moaned to herself in disappointment... before an idea occurred to her just seconds later. About a minute later, she had another four Gravity Stabilizers thrown down right next to her first, and she was literally hammering away at the Stormrider production tab. After a solid fifteen minutes of building nothing but Gravity Stabilizers, Rainbow Dash had exhausted the majority of her resources on building nothing but Stormrider after Stormrider. At the very least, she had assembled a rather sizeable amount of them. “Whew... finally done!” Said Rainbow Dash, giving out a little wheeze of effort, “That’s Thirty-Two, count ‘em, Thirty-two Stormriders! Nopony’s getting past this!” “Uh... Rainbow...” Twilight piped up, “You haven’t actually fought anyone yet. Don’t you think it’d be more prudent for you to...” “Ah, whatever! I bet they’re just too scared to come anywhere near these babies!” Proclaimed the Rainbow-maned Pegasus in her usual, overconfident tone. Almost as if in response to her statement, a robotic voice delivered a message over the speakers. “Enemy unit sighted.” “Perfect!” Rainbow Dash was practically rubbing her hooves together in glee, and she quickly selected all of her Stormriders before commanding them to attack the small force of rifle-bearing ponies that appeared on the edge of her map. As her Stormriders bore down on the diminutive squad, they made quick work of the ponies by unloading a barrage of pale-purple lasers that tore through their formation in the blink of an eye, sending them falling to the ground in droves. “OH YEAH!” Dash exclaimed, spurred on by her triumph, “That’s what you get for messin’ with the fastest flier in all of Equestria! Steamroller my flank, hah!” No sooner had she finished cheering did the same robotic voice repeat itself. “Enemy unit sighted.” Glancing back at her screen, Rainbow Dash saw that her base was now coming under assault from a much larger fighting force. Granted, it was still small, but this time, they were far more well-equipped. Pony-driven vehicles called “Predator Tanks” and four pegasi-flown chariots called “Orcas” took up support formations behind a massive contraption manned by no less than four full-grown stallions. Sporting two massive forward guns and armor that looked nigh-impregnable, Dash couldn’t help but wonder if she could actually face down this... “Mammoth Tank.” The cyan pegasus shook her head in fierce defiance, refusing to be intimidated by the large vehicle, no matter how powerful it looked. “You’re going down, chump!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed defiantly as she ordered all her Stormriders to converge upon the Mammoth Tank, and they attacked all at once. Following her orders to the letter, her thirty-two Stormriders immediately swarmed the massive enemy vehicle, their plasma weapons blazing bolts of light. Confident that her enemy would soon whither and collapse under such an intense assault, Rainbow Dash began to sit back and relax... until she saw just how little damage her Stormriders were actually causing the tank, their attacks only serving to slowly chip away at its massive health bar. Whoa... holy- that thing is tough! The pegasus thought to herself in a mild panic, and she found herself beginning to worry slightly as the Mammoth Tank managed to shoot down three of her Stormriders before being destroyed itself. If any more of those showed up, she wasn’t sure how long her Stormriders would last. Sadly, her relief at the tank’s destruction was only short-lived, as she realized that she had neglected to defend her base while at it, and one of her Gravity Stabilizers was dangerously close to being destroyed, the group of Predator Tanks and Orcas pummeling it with explosive shells and missiles. “Aww, come on, the hay is this!?” Rainbow Dash groaned in exasperation as she quickly ordered her Stormriders to double back, but she wasn’t fast enough - just as her air force reached her base again, the first Gravity Stabilizer fell. “Aw Hayseed!” She swore even as her Stormriders laid waste to the group of tanks and Orcas - she was still a little peeved by the fact she was going to have to build that structure all over again. “Ah well, at least it couldn’t get any worse-” “Enemy unit sighted.” “Aw, what now wha-” Dash’s pupils shrank faster than Twilight or any of her friends had ever seen them. Up ahead where the previous EDI attack force had come from, another, much more menacing one had appeared as well, this time comprised of no less than six Mammoth Tanks. “Whoa, nelly,” Applejack commented, wide-eyed at the opposition Rainbow Dash was facing and trying to stifle a smug grin. “Ee-yup, sister, yer right bucked.” “Wh-what’re you talking about, Applejack,” countered Rainbow Dash, trying as hard as she could to prevent anypony from seeing the actual sense of dread she was feeling. “I can deal with these chumps in no ti-” “Our base is under attack!” Rainbow Dash turned to face the screen, incredulous. “Under attack? What do you mean my base is under... attack...” The look of bravado that adorned her features only a few moments ago slid off her face faster than butter on a frying pan. With a silent “thrum,” no fewer than twenty armored chariots appeared out of thin air. Driven by pegasi adorned in ominous black armor, the chariots wasted no time in encircling Dash’s base like a ravenous swarm of obsidian vultures, ready to swoop in for the kill. Maintaining a brief formation over her stabilizers, the chariots proceeded to lay waste to almost the entirety of her base by dropping searing balls of energy that detonated into fiery conflagrations, consuming her structures and reducing them to smoking piles of ash that collapsed in on themselves. “What... what in the hay just happened?” Rainbow Dash muttered weakly as she watched no less than all of her Gravity Stabilizers collapse, while her Reactors, Portals and Warp Spheres had been all but incinerated by the assault of those invisible chariots. Stunned from her massive losses, Dash unwittingly left her Stormriders without direction, the remaining few immediately converging upon the column of Mammoth Tanks still advancing upon the smoldering wreckage of her base. As the normally-overconfident pegasus watched bleakly, her Stormriders were slowly blown out of the sky one by one, as the Mammoth Tanks retaliated against their aerial assault with a barrage of missiles from their side pods. By the time the slow war of attrition was over, the Mammoth advance had been stopped in its tracks, but at dear cost - Rainbow Dash’s Stormriders had been all but decimated, and she was left with only three badly damaged ones still hovering weakly about, their airframes blackened and charred. “Well...” She chuckled weakly as she ordered her Stormriders back to her base, thanking Celestia that her Drone Platform was still intact, and beginning to build another Gravity Stabilizer to at least repair her damaged Stormriders and build new ones. “I guess that wasn’t too bad. Now, to just get my forces back...” “Insufficient funds.” Dash’s jaw immediately went slack from horror, her cursor flitting about her base in a panic. Where was her Extractor! Where had all her money disappeared to?! The smoldering pile of ruins that burned right next to her base’s Tiberium field was all she needed to see. In one fell swoop, the enemy had crippled both her base’s production, strength and economy. There was practically no way she could possibly recover from this. Almost as though to add insult to injury, the robotic voice again sounded off a warning as Rainbow Dash struggled to regain her bearings. “Enemy unit sighted.” “Hayfeathers! What in Celestia’s name is it this-” Before the already-exasperated pegasus could even finish cursing, a titanic formation of enormous, metallic walkers appeared from literal thin air, decloaking with the same “thrum” that signaled the end of her base only moments earlier. Shaped like unicorns, but standing hundreds of feet higher than any possibly could, the monolithic walkers surrounded the smouldering remnants of her base in a silent formation. Almost as if they were bowing their heads in a sign of mock reverence, the gigantic walkers lowered their horns towards the charred drone platform, pulsing red energy running up and down the lengths of the massive protrusion. “time...” As the final word escaped Dash’s lips, a cascade of crimson energy beams then rained down upon her Drone Platform and perforated it from stem to stern, tearing entire chunks of metal and machinery from the structure as what was once the heart of her base came crashing down in a flaming pile of charred, worthless scrap. “Mission Failed.” The robotic voice from the speakers proclaimed Dash’s loss without so much as a trace of emotion, prompting Twilight to nudge her friend, who was apparently still staring at the charred, half-destroyed emblem of her faction that had begun spinning on the screen, dumbstruck by her loss. “I... I lost...” Rainbow Dash whispered hoarsely, and Applejack placed a hoof on her friend’s shoulder. “Aw, it’s all right, Sugarcube, ya can’t win ‘em all.” “I... hate losing.” Muttered the Cyan pegasus, apparently still sore over her defeat. “Tah be fair, sugarcube, ya did get saddled with the hardest difficulty on yer firs’ try. C’mon, lemme some other pony give it a try.” Grudgingly, Dash forced herself out of Twilight’s desk seat as the game reverted to the skirmish select screen. “Well, Rainbow, darling,” chimed Rarity, her voice carrying the usual ‘flashier-than-thou’ tone that had somewhat become her namesake, “you tried your best, but this is a lady’s game.” Still a little sore from her loss, Rainbow Dash couldn’t help but let her eye twitch a little in annoyance. “... and that is why I shall be the one to take the helm from here.” Soon, Rarity found herself in her friend’s place, this time on the same map, but against two opponents the game identified as “Normal NOD Balanced” and “Normal EDI Balanced” Rarity had personally opted to play as the Scrin. Unlike Dash, who had a penchant for running blind into her own follies, Rarity prized flair and beauty over all things. To her, the graceful contours, abstract architecture and soft, bioluminescent glow present in every Scrin structure left her utterly captivated. The first half of her game was spent pretty much the same way as Rainbow Dash’s...with a few key differences, of course. Thankfully enough, Rarity didn’t spend every single bit of Tiberium she mined on building airfield after airfield like her cyan friend had so foolishly done. Indeed, thanks to years of experience with the seamstress’ art, Rarity had learnt a great many things - such as the importance of precision and the value of speed, but in all her years, no lesson learnt was ever as important as her one cardinal rule. Attention to detail. Within minutes, not only had Rarity gotten a fully functional Tech Center up and running, her base came together in immaculate precision that made Rainbow Dash’s own base look like a messy pile of haystacks. Portals were lined up in neat rows alongside gravity stabilizers positioned for perfect structural symphony with the drone platform. Her sizable collection of refineries were expertly positioned for maximum aesthetic effectiveness as they perfectly mirrored her warp spheres, nerve center and technology center. In what could be described as her signature “final touch,” Rarity had even positioned numerous Storm Columns around her base in prefect symmetrical arrangement. Each one was so neatly placed that it was like watching Rarity sew a dress made out of... ominous alien lightning. “Beautiful, isn’t it?” muttered Rarity, utterly satisfied at her progress so far. Clicking on her Warp Spheres, she quickly found the button responsible for Annihilator Tripods, and within moments had three queued up for production. “Enemy unit sighted.” “How rude!” The white mare scrolled up to where the warning had come from, and found another meagre force of NOD militiaponies and a couple of their rocket squads heading towards her base.  “Oh... I do say, this looks too easy!” More focused on how her base was coming together, Rarity neglected to pay close attention to anything else, much like the time she had unwittingly let Sweetie Belle make off with her gold silk. From out of the corner of her eye, Rarity suddenly caught the sight of several squads of jumpsuit-clad ponies rushing towards her towers. She had no idea why the enemy would willingly throw ponies at her, so she gave a simple shrug of her shoulders and started trying to figure out where her signal transmitter would go. It would certainly look good behind her Drone Platform... “Our base is under attack!” As the alarm blared its way into her ears, Rarity frantically searched her base for the cause of whatever would have the GALL to even think of besmirching her masterpiece. As she found the cause of her woes, her eyes widened and her pupils shrunk in shock. Throwing themselves at her frontal storm column, those ponies were actually blowing both themselves and her storm column into next week. The once gleaming, spotless coating that adorned the column was beginning to show signs of extreme battle damage as it started to char and blacken in several places. As it began to fall apart in several places, fire streaking across the length of the structure, Rarity was beginning to show signs of genuine worry as sweat poured off her brow. Unable to withstand the onslaught, the frontal storm column exploded into a fiery conflagration of loose bits and pieces as it could take no more damage from both the fanatics. Just like that, Rarity’s crown jewel ceased to be. Behind her, Rainbow Dash erupted into peals of uncontrollable laughter. “BAAAAAAAA-HA-HA-HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Oh, that’s rich, Rarity! All that work for nothing but a big flaming ball of junk! Oh, oh this is just too good!” As her Storm Column’s remains crashed to the ground in flames, Rarity’s mouth hung agape from the shock of losing her prized structure. At that moment, something inside her snapped, her eyes narrowing to thin slits of pure anger. There was no crime worse than the massacre of art and beauty. No punishment great enough for defilers of magnificence. The opponents were dead already, they just didn’t know it. “OH. IT. IS. ON!” Diverting her attention back to her Gravity Stabilizers, Rarity jammed her mouse button down on the production tab for the biggest, most expensive unit she could find: The Planetary Assault Carrier. Hammering away at the tab like a pony possessed, Rarity couldn’t care less if she lost every single bit she’d spent harvesting, it would be all worth it teaching these opponents of hers that they had just made the biggest mistake of their virtual lives. As the bit count finally clicked zero, Rarity brought every last one of her forces to bear in a mighty column of thirty-two gigantic starships that tore their way out the front door and right into enemy lines, their streaks of plasma shearing their way through obsidian armor and hardened metal. Decimating virtually everything that lay before them, Rarity’s army reduced structure after structure to useless heaps of flaming slag. Every single formation that tried to rally together in defiance of the nigh-unstoppable force was crushed brutally underhoof, swarms of fighters making short work of even the hardiest units. The battle was becoming completely one-sided. No sooner had the carriers appeared on the battlefield had the tide completely turned in Rarity’s favor, entire armies crumpling in utter loss. Now, her mighty airforce ruled the skies, bearing down on the last vestiges of the NOD and EDI bases as the purple-maned unicorn’s virtual opponents stood defenseless before Rarity’s anger, personified in her merciless aerial armada. Needless to say, it was over in an instant. Detaching from Rarity’s carriers, swarms of smaller fighters came together in a swarm not unlike the parasprite plague that tore through Ponyville only a while ago, raining hellfire from the skies above. As structure after structure fell to the ground in useless slag heaps as bright purple bolts of energy rained from the skies, victory was now but a simple matter of time. Soon enough, the last EDI structure finally buckled under the unicorn’s unrelenting punishment. As it crashed to the ground in a massive gout of fire, the insectoid Scrin logo flashed across the center of the screen with the words “Victory” emblazoned right across the center. “You are Victorious.” As the cold, robotic voice signaled her victory with a resounding proclamation of triumph, a sinister orchestral theme playing in the background, Rarity crossed her hoofs in a mixture of supremacy and scorn. “Hmph, Pitiful.” She snorted, clearly still incensed at the foals who dared interfere with her works of sheer art. While every other pony cheered for Rarity’s victory, Rainbow Dash instead opted to say nothing, preferring instead to look away and mutter something that sounded like it landed somewhere between “whatever” and “lucky break.” “Oooh! Oooh! Rarity!” Pinkie Pie was waving a hoof excitedly from behind her, trying to get her attention. “Could I give it a whirl next? I wanna try! I wanna try!” “Settle down there, Pinkie Pie.” said Twilight, trying to rein in her hyperactive friend and praying she wouldn’t break anything in the process. “Just please, try not to break anything.” “YIPPEEEEEE!!!” The pink mare whooped in delight as she quickly bumped Rarity off the chair, immediately proceeding to make her selections on the Skirmish menu... choices that were starting to look startlingly familiar to Twilight. “Wait, Pinkie, no, don’t set everything to Rando-!” Before Twilight could even finish her sentence, Pinkie Pie had already hit the Start button, and then the screen displayed the words “Pipeline Problems”, “EDI Easy Guerilla” and “EDI Hard Turtle”. “Huh... well, that’s not too bad.” “Oh, come on!” Rainbow Dash yelled in frustration, jabbing a hoof at the screen. “That’s a load of manure! I get two Brutal Steamrollers, and she gets one Easy and one Hard!?” “That’s the whole point of the selection being random, my dear.” Rarity pointed out with a hoof, poking Rainbow Dash in the side. “It’s based on luck, while you were very unlucky, that’s all it is.” Rainbow Dash muttered something inaudible as she turned away from Rarity, fixing her eyes on the screen as Pinkie Pie’s match began. After building two refineries, Pinkie did nothing but pour all her resources into building five giant “Hoofs of NOD” to pump out militiaponies, much to the surprise of everypony assembled, even Dash, who had done nothing but build Stormriders. “Fighters form up!” “Fighters form up!” “Fighters form up!” “Fighters form up!” “Fighters form up!” “Fighters form up!” “Fighters form up!” “Fighters form up!” “Fighters form up!” “Fighters form up!” Five minutes into the battle, Pinkie’s screen was full of nothing but a grey swarm of militiaponies, and her hoofs of NOD were pumping out more by the second. “Um... Pinkie Pie? Don’t you think you ought to... diversify?” Twilight pointed, albeit with a bit of uncertainty in her voice. Patting the lavender unicorn on the back, Pinkie gave her a look of utter disbelief, as though what she was doing fell within the realms of common sense. “Twilight, Twilight, Twilight... don’t you know the more ponies you bring to a party...” Craning her head back to her production queue, a devilish grin spread across Pinkie’s face faster than wildfire. “THE BIGGER YOUR PARTY IS!” Jamming her hoof down on the mouse button, Pinkie Pie ordered her Hoofs of NOD to pump out a staggering SIXTY additional militiapony squads. EACH. “Now, time to bring this party to the EDI!” The earth pony whooped as she selected all of the militiapony squads on the map right then, and ordered them forward towards the other side of the map at the same time. It was then that Twilight had the feeling that something was horribly wrong. Rather than the smooth, flowing animations that usually accompanied the movements on the screen, everything now moved choppily, jerking around in sudden movements. “Sooooo slooooooooooooooow” Pinkie Pie drawled in a clearly bored tone, before shrugging and continuing to order her mind-blowingly massive horde across the battlefield, the sheer numbers of her forces covering her entire point-of-view. As her Hoofs of NOD continued to pump out even more militiaponies at a staggering rate, the choppiness of the display simply began to increase, until to the gathered ponies, it seemed as though they were watching a slide show. Suddenly, Twilight’s PC started to spark and sputter, black smoke rising out of the vents in greater gouts with every additional militiapony squad that joined Pinkie Pie’s ranks. “Pinkie!” yelled Twilight. The pink earth pony apparently had not heard her, as she continued to pump out squad after squad. Twilight’s PC was almost whining in metallic pain by now. “PINKIEEEE!” bellowed the lavender Unicorn, fearing what might happen if she let Pinkie carry on like this. “Yes, Twilight?” came Pinkie’s innocent response, blissfully unaware of the column of billowing smoke rising from the device. Hastily shoving Pinkie out of the desk seat, Twilight quickly brought up the start menu and frantically muddled around for anything that looked like a stop button. Jamming her hoof down on the “quit game” function, Twilight immediately aborted the game in case Pinkie’s “party” blew up the PC, melted the disc, burnt her library to the ground and caused widespread panic throughout Ponyville. “Haaaaah... made it!” Wheezed Twilight, relieved she had just averted what might have been the worst disaster in Ponyville’s history as her PC immediately stopped issuing smoke, and the high-pitched whining issuing from the machine slowly died down. “Awww, you’re no fun at all, Twilight! Why’d you have to ruin my party?” Pinkie Pie pouted at Twilight as the lavender unicorn sighed in relief. Twilight immediately affixed the pink earth pony with a gaze that looked like it would cut through solid diamond. Withering under her best friend’s stare, Pinkie immediately clamped her hoofs over her mouth. Turning her attention back to the smoking device, Twilight breathed a sigh of quiet relief to herself, thanking the alicorns above that her library was not a smoking ruin. The thing is, Twilight was expecting a working device with a smoking, yet albeit functional display. What she did NOT expect was a blue screen marked only by a string of words containing technical jargon she could only pray she understood. PONYSOFT WINDOWS A FATAL EXCEPTION FU HAS OCCURRED AT A0GH:FFFFFFFF THE CURRENT APPLICATION WILL NOW BE TERMINATED PRESS ANY KEY TO TERMINATE THE CURRENT APPLICATION PLEASE PRESS CTRL-ALT-DEL TO RESTART YOU WILL LOSE ALL UNSAVED DATA IN ALL APPLICATIONS A deathly silence fell over the library. “Twilight... ya’ okay there sugarcube?” “Twilight, darling, are you alright?” The purple-maned unicorn had reached the end of her tether. She rarely got angry, but sometimes, her short fuse tended to get the better of her more virtuous nature. “Girls...” Twilight said in an oddly strangled voice, trembling with barely contained rage. Already the edges of her mane were beginning to smoke and spark, and Pinkie Pie was edging cautiously away from her, laughing nervously. “I’d appreciate it a lot if you left Pinkie Pie and I alone for a moment. Please.” It was said the fire that erupted in the Ponyville Library was seen as far as Canterlot that day. The mayor declined to comment on what manner of destructive force could do such a thing. -- Dear Princess Celestia, This week, my dear friend Pinkie Pie learnt the value of self-restraint. Often in a Pony’s life, they will make several decisions that, due sometimes in part to over-zealousness, can sometimes... adversely affect those around them. Everypony has shortcomings, but it is in our nature to be the better mare, and see past the cloud of anger that may sometimes take control of us. Sometimes, taking a deep breath and counting to ten is wiser than taking none at all. p.s. Could I humbly ask for another copy of “Mares, Magic and Mineralogy?” I’m still reconstructing the library. Ever your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle