The Elements of Gaming

by HellRyden


Command and Conquer: Generals

Elements of Gaming 6
Command and Conquer: Generals

By Ryden, Xephfyre, and Krimzon_Flygon

---

“Aaaaand, done!” came the proud declaration of Twilight Sparkle, the quill she had been so carefully levitating coming to a rest on her study desk as she glanced over her notes with pinpoint precision, looking out for miscalculations or misinterpretations.

“Spike, Spike! Come down here! I think I’ve finally found the answer!”

Barrelling down the stairs at breakneck speed, carting a wagonload of books behind him, the purple-scaled diminutive dragon rushed down the library’s central spiral staircase, answering Twilight’s call.

“What is it, Twilight?” The young assistant puffed as he reached the bottom of the staircase, panting and sweating. “What did you find?”

“I think I’ve finally found a way to determine just how much sugar is required to concoct the perfect shortcake!” Proclaimed the lavender mare, her chest puffed out in pride. “You see, Pinkie asked me to try one of my... ‘science thingies’ on the shortcakes over at Sugarcube corner. I think I’ve just found the perfect ratio to-”

Before she could even finish, Twilight was interrupted by a short gag from her faithful assistant, the baby dragon’s response catching in his throat as he grasped his cramping stomach with both hands.

“What is it, Spike?” asked Twilight. “Is it a letter from the Princess? Another assignment? Can you tell?”

With a short gag, Spike’s tiny, characteristic wisp of green dragon’s flame erupted forth from his gullet, and shot forth into the air before coalescing into that familiar, bound scroll that Twilight had come to know and love as letters from her ever-wise mentor.

“Ooh! It’s a letter from the Princess! Maybe that special request I sent in for tickets to the Solar Sun Symposium finally got through! Canterlot ticketing sure knows how to take its time...”

Gently levitating the scroll, Twilight slowly undid the royal seal that bound the Princess’s letter, unfurling the note to see just what important task the Princess had deigned to entrust her prized pupil with.


My Dearest, Most Faithful Student

I have two wonderful pieces of news for you today, both of which you and your friends will be absolutely delighted to hear.

First off, the Canterlot University for Electrical Engineering plans to go public with the Xbox 360 roughly within the span of the next few weeks or so; it appears a heating issue (whatever that may mean) has arisen in several models of the device.

Still, the university is determined to release the console, and will ensure you and your friends receive complimentary copies for both this delay and all your faithful assistance.

Now, onto the second order of news. If you remember, the Canterlot University for Computer Science had also previously sent you what they call a ‘PC’. Cutting a long story short, the University plans on going public with this in a while as well, probably to satisfy the all-too-common ‘rivalry’ between our illustrious higher learners.

As thus, they will be sending over not one, but two copies of yet another game, two ‘PCs’ and something called a ‘Point-to-Point Communicator’ for use by both you and your friends.

Given the wonderful feedback I have received from both Universities, I am confident your advice will be just the sort of aid they need.

Your Mentor,
Princess Celestia


“Sending over?” mumbled Twilight, poring over the Princess’s letter. “They couldn’t possibly mean that...”

As Twilight quickly turned over to face Spike, the baby dragon doubled over in yet another wave of nausea as he felt something massive force its way out his flame glands and right into his gullet.

Unable to hold back the rising gout of flame, Spike loosed forth a massive belch as he spewed forth an enormous globule of fire, easily double the size of the first ‘PC’ he had ever coughed up.

Coalescing over Twilight’s head, the gout of flame suspended itself in mid-air for a short time, condensed into a ball of shimmering light...

Hayseed...” Twilight squeaked.

CRASH!

Spike cringed, leaning down to meet Twilight at eye level. “Why’d you just stand there? You had plenty of time to dodge, or you could have caught it with your magic, or...”

“Just get this thing off of me, please.”

---

It was to Twilight’s huge relief that the PCs she had been sent were no different in model or make than the one she had been previously sent - by sheer virtue of memory, she could perfectly recall just what she needed to do to assemble them, and had taken mere minutes instead of agonizing hours... right after she had spent some time disconnecting the half-slagged piece of machinery on her desk that Pinkie Pie had nearly overloaded.

Spike in the meantime was in the bedroom, resting within his basket and recovering from the sheer strain of burping up the huge device that was nearly half again his size, leaving Twilight alone to her devices.

“Phew... now that that’s done...” The lavender mare muttered to herself as she levitated the two disc casings before her. “Let’s see here...”

Unlike the eerie, unsettling crystals and effervescent aura of green that adorned the previous box, the current image sprawled across the cover was that of a massive, floating metallic platform that housed thousands of armored pegasi, each one fleeing the platform in a maddened, frantic blitz as a massive, blue-tinged column of light tore an enormous, gaping gash right through the center of the carrier.

“Command and Conquer... Generals?” Twilight’s face split into a huge grin. “COMMAND AND CONQUER! Oh, you’re the BEST, Princess!” She turned to face the computer again. “As long as Pinkie Pie doesn’t find out about this, I have a feeling this is going to be a very good day...”

Right on cue, a pink-streaked bolt of supersonic pony careened right through Twilight’s front door, crashing into the lavender unicorn and sending book after book crashing to the ground in heaps.

“Ugh... What in Equestria-?” was all Twilight Sparkle could manage, right before her face collided with a massive cloud of bubbling pink energy.

“Ya got a new game, didn’t ‘cha Twilight?” came the all-too-familiar sugar-fueled squeal. “Didn’t ‘cha, Didn’t ‘cha? Hmmm? Hmmmmm?!”

Stunned by her friend’s sudden arrival, Twilight could only stare at Pinkie Pie in silence, her right eye twitching slightly in horror.

“P-Pinkie?” stammered the unicorn, frozen with shock. “H-How’d you- I mean... It’s not- I don’t have a new game!”

“Silly Twilight,” chuckled Pinkie, waving a hoof lazily in the air as she giggled, “A triple knee-twitch, double floppy ears and one full-body shake means that Princess Celestia just sent you one of those new game thingies! Can I see it? Huh Huh Huh?!”

“Wait a second,” came Rainbow Dash’s all-too familiar voice from the space above the two, a frown creasing her face as she read the title. “It’s a Command & Conquer title. We want NOTHING to do with this, alright, Pinks?

“Oh don’t be silly, Rainbow,” came the ever-refined voice of a certain resident fashionista, “You should never write something off before even trying it. Although... I do think your reaction isn’t exactly unwarranted though.” Rarity could barely suppress a snigger as the blue pegasus’s wings bristled with irritation at her last, oh-so-smug statement.

“Well excuse me for living, Rarity.” Rainbow grumbled.

“‘Taint no use bein’ a sore loser, Rainbow,” perked up a voice from behind the immaculately groomed designer, a brown earth pony and yellow pegasus trotting through the library’s front door and making their way towards Twilight. “You were just real unlucky is all. Then again, you sure are unlucky most of the time.”

“Yeah yeah, laugh it up, Applejack. Let’s all make fun of Rainbow Dash and completely ignore the fact that this series is directly responsible for the Great Fire of Ponyville!”

Twilight couldn’t help but feel blood flush her cheeks at that. She was still a little embarrassed about the whole ‘natural disaster’ bit that appeared in the local paper.

“Jokes aside, ladies,” said Twilight, shaking off her embarrassment as best she could, “the princess is counting on us to help the university make this project a success. Hopefully we’ll get out of this one without another disaster.”

Shooting a quick glare at Pinkie, the lavender mare stared her friend down with eyes that could pierce boulders.

“Am I clear, Pinkie?”

Stifling a snort, the pink earth pony merely tilted her head and gave Twilight a look of vague comprehension and an enigmatic grin.

“Okey dokey loki!”

Heaving a deep sigh, Twilight hung her head in defeat as she trotted back over to the game. “Guess that’s the best response I could’ve gotten anyway.”

“Command and Conquer Generals!” Rainbow Dash said in a mock-deep voice, gazing at nothing in particular and holding hoof out in front of her. “It BURNS with the epic-ness of combat! It’s so incredible that your face might just melt from looking upon it! This game is so awesome, your computer WILL NOT be able to handle it!”

Thank you, Rainbow Dash.” Twilight’s attempt to sound stern horribly betrayed by the chuckle that escaped her as she jammed both discs right into the new PCs. “Now all we need to do is wait for it, and-”

“Welcome to Installshield Unicorn! Please choose how you would like to install this game.”

Twilight Sparkle’s shoulders hunched, her expression wry. “Oh... right... this.”


Daunting as the installation process seemed at first glance, it wasn’t long before the purple-maned mare found herself faced with the coveted ‘Play Game’ option, all six of her friends hanging over her shoulders and watching with bated breath as Twilight prepared to push the button.

The second Twilight’s hoof left the mouse, the screen immediately faded to black as all signs of activity on the screen ceased, leaving the six ponies looking at one another with looks of confusion plastered across their faces.

“I didn’t touch anything, Twilight, I swear.” Pinkie Pie quickly declared.

“Maybe this here’s like that Rock Band game, or something...” muttered Applejack, her hooves crossed in thought. “Maybe y’all just gotta-”

Before the orange earth pony could finish her sentence, a pulsing sphere of pure white came to life on the screen, two simple letters engraved within a platinum circle, two simple words flaring up in brilliant color right beneath the circle.

“EA GAMES! Challenge everything...”  

Thundering forth from Twilight’s speakers, the resounding voice elicited a small “eep” from Fluttershy as the timid yellow pegasus darted underneath Twilight’s nearest desk, bones chattering in fright.

As quickly as it had came, the sphere winked off-screen as the ponies assembled once more found themselves faced with nothing but a blank screen and very, very awkward silence.

“Definitely like Rock Band...” Rainbow Dash muttered wryly to herself as she sighed internally, and waited for a few seconds, counting it down. And three... two... one...

Right on cue, yet another image faded from black on the screen, the Generals logo visible at the upper right corner - the scene visible on the screen showed an idyllic, sandy beach, its shores lapped at by the azure blue waters of the ocean.

It would have been postcard-perfect; had it not been for the presence of several dozen armed ponies running along the beach, their ranks being blasted apart by explosive volleys from a steel, armored platform that was bristling with barrels, floating in the midst of the sea some distance from the shore.

It took only a curious click from Twilight, and the image suddenly darkened slightly, a series of buttons flashing their way into sight below the Generals logo on the screen, immediately identifying itself as the menu.

However, unlike the grim, still menu of the Tiberium Wars game, this menu was the complete opposite.

The screen was nothing but a frenzy of movement: a battle was raging between unknown armies, with tanks blasting away at charging units, missiles and bullets exploding everywhere as a heavy rock theme blared in the background.

“Oooooh...” Pinkie Pie’s expression was one of awe, her eyes ensnared by the screen and enraptured by the action. “Prettyyyy...”

Twilight could only give her pink-furred friend a cautious glance, and then began slowly edging the keyboard and the mouse closer to herself like a protective mother defending her child. “Let’s... not get too excited here, Pinkie...”

Knowing what awaited her if she clicked on the Campaign option, Twilight smartly chose the option that stated “Multiplayer”, remembering what her mentor had mentioned in the letter about the ‘point-to-point’ communicator - while Princess Celestia hadn’t been big on any explanations, Twilight had enough common sense up there to figure out it had something to do with linking the two PCs together so they could play together.

Though her curiousity regarding just what made that device tick, and how exactly it worked, was burning away at the back of her head, a persistent nagging that wouldn’t go away,Twilight bit down on her inquisitive nature and focused on the task at hand. She could figure out just how the communicator worked all she wanted later - right now, she had some game testing to do.

The point-to-point communicator, luckily for Twilight, had already come pre-assembled with convenient instructions printed onto an accompanying pamphlet, such as what went where, and what all the fancy blinking lights meant.

The instructions were literally Rainbow Dash-proof, and within moments, the studious bookworm had both the other PC running its very own copy of Generals while simultaneously connecting to her own, seamlessly intertwined by the magic of science.

“There, all done!” proudly declared the lavender unicorn as she gave both her hooves a quick dustoff, looking over each station twice to make sure everything was absolutely perfect.

“So uh, I guess that since we’ve got two of these here thingies, that there communicator doohickey’s supposed ta-”

“Absolutely right, Applejack!” interjected Twilight, cutting off the orange earth pony mid-sentence. “We’ll be playing against one another this time. It’ll be a blast!”

“I don’t know, Twilight, darling.” came Rarity’s airy tone, “Competition tends to bring out the very worst in ponies, as our two good friends over there have oh-so clearly shown.”

Flipping her elegantly-styled mane over to a clueless Rainbow Dash and Applejack, the pegasus and Earth Pony could only glance at each other in bewilderment finally realizing just who Rarity was referring to, causing both their cheeks to flush red with embarrassment.

“Hey!” yelled Rainbow Dash,  “that Iron Pony competition was a one-off!”

“I’m sure, dear,” replied rarity, raising a hoof to stifle a giggle. “I’m completely sure it was.”

“Oooookay,” interjected Twilight, stepping in between the two, “I think we should get started, so who’d like to go first?”

“Oooh! Oooh! Me! Me! Pick me! Pick me, Twilight, pickmepickmepickmepickme!!!” Pinkie Pie suddenly erupted into an excited flurry of movement, hopping about in place and waving a hoof in the air frantically.

Twilight took one look at her partygoer friend, one glance at the rest of her gathered posse, and slapped a hoof to her forehead as she realized that nopony else even looked as remotely interested as Pinkie Pie was in giving Generals a shot.

“Fine...” The lavender mare sighed with a resigned expression, and gestured at the second unoccupied PC with a hoof. “It’s all yours, Pinkie.”

“Whoooooopee!” yelled Pinkie as she did an overhead flip, somehow miraculously landing right in front of the PC without breaking anything. “Let’s see what party I can throw this time!

“A-hem!” came a quick, sharp cough from Twilight, shooting a razor-sharp glare at the jittery earth pony to remind her just what happened the last time she tried throwing one of those.

“I meaaaaaan... uh...” drawled Pinkie, quickly backpedaling to save her flank. “Let’s how I can... help Princess Celestia this time!”

Twilight raised an eyebrow at how fast her friend had spat those last few words out... but then again, probing Pinkie’s mind would probably be tantamount to solving a 64-sided rubix’s cube. Heaving a sigh, the lavender unicorn simply turned back to her own screen to assess her options.

The top half of the screen had greeted her with eight slots, the first of which was occupied by her name, shaded out in a solid purple that was the very same hue as her coat, and a selection bar under ‘Factions’ that simply read “Lunar Republic.” Right next to that was the selection bar for Teams, but right now her selection simply read ‘None’, given the fact that she hadn’t even so much as tweaked a single option yet.

Pinkie Pie’s name had taken up the slot right below hers, her name shaded out in a shocking pink just like her fur, and seemed to have already chosen her faction with surprising speed - Twilight had just enough time to see Pinkie’s own faction selection shift from “Solar Empire” to “Lunar Republic Nuke General”.

The eight slots below her however, were greyed out, even though they read ‘Open’, but Twilight took one glance at the map selection and knew that this map had only been designed with two players in mind - it wasn’t going to be taking any more contenders any time soon.

“Lunar Republic and Solar Empire?” Rainbow Dash muttered as she glanced over Pinkie Pie’s shoulder at her PC’s screen, her expression skeptical. “That sounds way too much like Princess Celestia and Princess Luna!”

“Well, actually, it is!” Rarity’s voice had a small edge of surprise to it as she levitated the Generals manual in front of her, quickly reading up on the game’s backstory and the three factions that were supposedly embroiled in fictional battle within the game’s world itself.

“The creators designed the three factions in mind with both Princess Luna and Princess Celestia as artistic inspiration... oh, sweet Celestia, Discord’s on this. And he’s leading this... ‘Equestrian Liberation Army’.”

The rest of her gathered friends continued chattering away from behind her as they took turns peering at the manual, but it was all just background noise to Twilight - she was far too busy considering her options on what faction she had to choose for the match.

The first choice on the list was the Solar Empire - the faction that had been based on Equestria’s beloved monarch, the descriptive text of the Solar Empire stated that it favored the use of shock and awe, overwhelming force and the most sophisticated sciences and magics to crush their enemies into the proverbial dust.

Right on the other hoof, there was the Lunar Republic. The faction based upon Equestria’s other, lesser known Princess, the Lunar Republic, though less refined than its solar counterpart, favored the use of raw, destructive power and great numbers to overcome their opponents.

And lastly, the one whose inspiration that Twilight would never forget, the faction inspired by Discord, was the Equestrian Liberation Army, or ‘ELA’ as the selector on the screen stated. True to the monstrous spirit who had inspired it, the ELA was a faction that favored sneakiness and underhanded tactics to subvert and eliminate their adversaries.

All in all it was quite difficult for Twilight, the mare who wanted to learn and experience everything, to make a choice here, and yet even between the three main factions that were there for her to choose from, each faction had another three sub-generals for her to pick.

All in all there were a whopping total of twelve choices available to her, and the purple unicorn’s head began to swim from the sheer number of possibilities at her hooftips.

“Come ooooon Twilight!” A high-pitched whine next to her suddenly snapped her out of her reverie, “You’ve gotta chooooooose!”

“Oh- right, sorry about that, girls.”

Thumbing her mouse over the plethora of choices before her, Twilight’s eyes roamed over option after option, general after general; the purple unicorn’s head swam with idea after idea as she struggled to find her ideal outcome.

Then, she saw it. The very moment it flickered past her eyes, the bookworm knew she had found exactly who she needed.

Framed against a simple background of numerous azure beams crashing down from the heavens above, a blond-maned pony dressed in an immaculate blue uniform adorned with countless badges and medals affixed Twilight with a steely glare from her sky-blue orbs, almost calling to the lavender mare to pick her.

“General Solar Fury, Super-Weapons General of the Solar Empire...” read Twilight, her jaw slightly agape in awe of the lone mare framed right over her screen.

Trotting over to her friend, Rarity cast a single eye over Twilight’s screen, carefully reading off every single one of the General’s strengths and weaknesses.

“My my my, not a single tank?” Chided Rarity, her voice laced with skepticism. “Are you absolutely sure this is... good for you, Twilight?”

“Definitely.” Twilight answered without a second thought. She knew that this General was just who she needed to win this match. “With just one thing to focus on, hunkering down and defending my base while I keep building these superweapons, it should be easy to focus on just that one thing to do! As for when they do get set up...”

There was an almost evil glint in the unicorn’s eye as she rubbed her hooves together in anticipation, and she eagerly hit the “Ready” button, itching just about as much as Pinkie Pie was to get the match started.

Almost immediately, the screen faded to black; a sprawling plain materialized before Twilight as she no longer found herself assaulted by the constant hammer of explosion after explosion, countless ponies running headlong across a beachhead as they hurtled onwards to their doom.

Instead, before the studious bookworm stood a simple, lone building, a small revolving dish in a constant spin overhead while a lone armored stallion, a massive plow-like contraption attached to his back, waited silently close by.

Having read the manual and already formulated a strategy, Twilight knew exactly what to do. The moment she was able, her cursor immediately darted over to the armored stallion, whom she knew was responsible for base construction, and ordered him to lay down several structures in rapid succession.

The first to go up was a series of Solar Fusion Reactors - Twilight knew that as a Superweapon General, her trump card was one that required gratuitous amounts of power, and she would need lots of them to ensure that they would be in working order once they were set up. Not even content to build several in succession, she clicked on the ‘Control Rods’ upgrade as well the moment she was able, not even caring how low her bit counter was dipping as her Power Bar began climbing up and up.

The second to go up was her Barracks, straightaway queueing up several of her basic infantry units, something the game called ‘Solar Empire Rangers’, just for basic defence.

A few moments later, a Supply Centre had then been erected next to her Barracks, and that was soon spewing out armored chariots that swooped down on the large pile of crates that were situated near her base, hauling them back to the Supply Centre with surprising swiftness and sending the number on her bits counter soaring back upwards like Rainbow Dash attempting another Sonic Rainboom.

The last few structures to be assembled were several missile defense installations that the game called “EMP Patriots”, specialized defenses Twilight knew would come be perfect for her fight against the rambunctious Pinkie Pie.

Utterly absorbed in her own world, Twilight didn’t even bother to cast a sidelong glance at Pinkie as she slowly began to expand both her resource lines to outlying “Gem Refineries” that only served to supplement her existing supply chain.

The moment her Strategy Centre went up, a resounding alarm suddenly blared out from her PC’s speakers, while a red triangle zoomed in on the minimap, where a large cluster of pink dots were closing in on the trio of purple pinpricks that represented her EMP patriots.

“The hay!? Pinkie, how could you be that fast!” Twilight cried out in surprise as she clicked on her Barracks and immediately mashed the button on the creation tab, ordering it to pump out as many more Rangers and Missile Defenders as she could to prepare her defenses. As the progress bar rose and her bit counter fell, Twilight stole a glance over at Pinkie’s approaching forces.

“Lunar Republic Nuke General, duh!” Pinkie Pie replied in her usual offbeat manner, a lopsided grin on her face even as her army trundled forward with the intent to crush Twilight’s base beneath its iron treads. “General Blinding Light has got the fastest tanks around that make the biggest booms! And everypony knows that the bigger the boom, the louder the party!”

While it wasn’t nearly as large as the nightmarishly huge, computer-wrecking force that she had created in Tiberium Wars, Pinkie had amassed a sizable army of massive, treaded contraptions the manual had only identified as “Battlemaster Tanks.”

With terrifying force, the massive machines shook the very earth before them as they barreled towards Twilight’s base; smaller, more nimble ponies clad in cyan blue uniforms chose instead to run in a loose formation behind the massive contraptions, avoiding what might happen if they were so unfortunate as to come between the tank and its quarry.

“What in all of Ponyville-” was all Twilight could manage as she brought her own forces to bear, sending a relatively large army of her own to the front lines. Mostly comprised of stallions clad in pristine white armor from head to hoof, these ponies bore the emblem of Princess Celestia on their epaulets with the greatest of pride.

“These Solar Empire Rangers should keep Pinkie busy while I get my cannons set up...” Twilight muttered, the unicorn doing her best to keep her head cool as she slowly lined up her Particle Cannons for production.

Quickly surveying the battlefield, Twilight could see that Pinkie’s forces were, thankfully, vulnerable to her EMP defenses, the pink earth pony’s massive tanks grinding to a halt as the pulses of azure magic brought them to a standstill, her infantry unable to advance beyond the Solar Empire Rangers and their unrelenting wall of fire.

Within moments, Pinkie’s Battlemasters had been reduced to so much scrap metal, each one detonating in a fiery conflagration that consumed everything around it, and her infantry battalions were writhing on the ground in pain, Twilight’s Rangers standing triumphant over them and punching their hooves in the air in a gesture of dominance.

“Awww, you got me that time, Twilight!”

Wiping the sweat off her brow, Twilight turned to face Pinkie and offer her friend a gentle hoofshake in respect of a battle well fought.

“...but this party’s not over yet!”

Snapping her head back to the monitor’s screen at breakneck speed, Twilight could only gape in horror as ten utterly massive cannons took positions right around the perimeter of her base, before solidly planting themselves into the ground with four monolithic support columns, slowly aligning their fearsome ordnance towards Twilight’s hapless defenses.

“Party Poppers, show ‘em what ‘cha got!”

On cue, all ten cannons each dislodged a massive shell from the length of their gigantic cannons, a miniature sun erupting from the barrel as the ordnance hurtled through the air, falling from the sky like crashing anvils upon the line of EMP Patriots.

Smashing headfirst into the hapless Patriots, the shells detonated with thunderous force and blinding light, miniature suns and mushroom clouds rising from blackened earth as Twilight’s EMP patriots were utterly blown to dust by the sheer force of the explosion, and any unfortunate rangers close enough to the radius were instantly disintegrated right where they stood.

“Oh, Sweet Celestia...” was all Twilight could manage as she slowly cupped her mouth with her hooves, her horror mounting. Stars above, the game hadn’t even been going on for more than ten minutes and she was already getting the stuffing pounded out of her base - how in the hay was she going to turn this around?

“Particle Cannon Ready.”

“Wha-?! I- oh, right!” sputtered the lavender mare as she quickly brought her Particle Cannon array online, immediately requisitioning one to blow the stuffing out of Pinkie’s artillery while simultaneously bringing the rest of her array to life, their azure lances of energy spearing the sky as they found their mark right where Twilight planned: Pinkie’s base.

Rearing up on her hind legs, her normally straight mane frazzled and fraying at the edges, Twilight threw her head back and gave an utterly maniacal laugh as her particle cannons rained brilliant blue destruction over Pinkie’s entire base, reducing once-proud buildings to monstrous slag heaps as the cannons cut through fortified metal like a hot knife through cupcakes.

“IN THE PRINCESS’S NAME, YOUR EARTH SHALL BURN! BURN I SAY! BUUUUUUURN!”

Cackling wildly, Twilight seemed lost in the euphoria of the moment as she traced column after column of light all over Pinkie’s base, her laughter only growing wilder and wilder in pitch as Fluttershy gave a small “eep” in fright, almost positive she even heard lightning strike a few times.

“Uh, Twilight,” deadpanned Applejack, tapping her friend on the shoulder and snapping her out of her trance, “It’s just a game?”

“Oh... right.” muttered Twilight, her cheeks flushed red with embarrassment as she returned to face the screen.

In the aftermath of Twilight’s berserked rush of Particle beams, Pinkie Pie’s base lay in utter ruin, her structures nothing but smoldering husks, completely destroyed and inoperable. As Rarity and Fluttershy watched Twilight’s screen over her shoulder, they realized that by all rights, the game should have been over then - but it wasn’t.

The smoldering remains of Pinkie Pie’s base soon faded to dust, leaving a blank spot of ground where it used to stand, but the game still progressed. Twilight’s Chinooks were still harvesting supplies, her dozers were still hard at work throwing up more EMP Patriots to replace the ones decimated by Pinkie Pie’s Nuke Cannons, and there was not a single pink dot left in sight on the minimap.

So if Pinkie’s base had been so utterly wiped out, then just what was going on here?

The answer came within seconds - just as Twilight spent her last bit from her reserves in throwing up one last EMP Patriot, there was a chorus of voices that suddenly issued from her speakers, all repeating one phrase over and over again... a single, lone phrase that froze Twilight’s blood where it ran.

“Nuclear Missile detected.”

“Nuclear Missile detected.”

“Nuclear Missile detected.”

“Nuclear Missile detected.”

“Nuclear Missile detected.”

“Nuclear Missile detected.”

“Nuclear Missile detected.”

“Nuclear Missile detected.”

“Nuclear Missile detected.”

If Twilight’s jaw could’ve hit the floor, it probably would’ve done so right then and there. Her pupils literally shrank in shock as she saw tiny little pinpricks of pink suddenly appear one by one all over the map, scattered like a bad pimple outbreak.

“Heeeeeeeeeeeeeey Twilight,” came her friend’s voice, echoing from the other side of her PC. Normally, Twilight would’ve tried to focus, but Pinkie’s cheery tone prompted the lavender mare to look over and see what might have been the most unsettling, mischievous grin ever to cross Pinkie’s face.

“I upgraded my party poppers! I hope you like these new, suuuuuuuuuper-sized ones!”

“Oh, sweet Celestia-” was all Twilight could barely whisper to herself as she gaped at Pinkie’s monstrous arsenal of nukes. Had her Particle Cannons been fully charged, she might have had a chance at winning... but they were all currently spent and recharging, and Twilight was on her last legs.

The second Pinkie’s timers hit the dreaded ‘0:00’ mark, the pink earth pony gave a small giggle, moved her mouse a few inches over Twilight’s base...

...and let the missiles fly.

To call it a spectacular conflagration would have been like saying Celestia’s sun was bright. Pinkie Pie’s nuclear missiles crashed down upon Twilight’s base from the heavens in a devastating rain, much like how her own particle beams had descended from on high mere minutes ago.

Every missile that detonated let loose a gargantuan fireball, followed by a mushroom cloud that made the ones thrown up by the Nuke Cannon’s shells look like mere pinpricks in comparison. All over the screen, fireballs and mushroom clouds were rising up into the air, engulfing Twilight’s base in smoke and fire.

Her structures didn’t last even a second. The first missile to land instantly shaved off more than half of each of their health bars - the second one to land completely decimated them, reducing them to charred, blasted out husks.

Within moments, her entire base, and all her accompanying forces, lay in smoldering ruin, their broken and charred bodies littering the ground... the ground whereupon Pinkie Pie had etched a crude smiley face with the impact craters of her nukes.

From Pinkie Pie’s computer there could be heard a raucous series of cheers, and a proud statement of “You are victorious!” coming from the pink earth pony’s side of the table.

Everypony assembled could only stare wide-eyed in wonder at what just transpired before their very eyes. Even the normally reserved Rarity was stammering incoherently before Twilight’s screen, trying as best she could to form actual words.

Twilight, on the other hand, could only stare in muted silence at her screen, utterly dumbstruck by her complete inability to counter Pinkie’s offensive, despite the fact she had calculated every single move to the absolute letter.

“I-Impossible...” was all she could manage to stammer out.

“Twilight, darling,” assured Rarity, putting a gentle hoof over her friend’s back, “I assure you, sometimes the best laid plans-”

“No, no, no, no, NO!” came the lavender unicorn’s defiant declaration. “The plan should’ve worked! There’s no reason I should’ve lost unless...”

Pausing for a brief moment, the light of inspiration flickered briefly in Twilight’s eyes as the studious bookworm felt like she’d just uncovered the secret to life, the universe and, almost certainly, everything.

“...unless I wasn’t planning properly!” declared the now-inspired unicorn with a triumphant gesture, pointing her hoof skyward in jubilation. “This new plan’s going to be absolutely foolproof!”

Darting off to her desk, Twilight dove right into a spare copy of “Probability: A Unicorn’s Best Friend” and began furiously etching out graphs and formula, the quill almost a blur as the unicorn cranked out theory after theory in an effort to deduce her “impossible” loss.

“Ohhhh boy,” sighed Applejack, planting a hoof right over her face, “ah think we just stuck Twi over there to her books fer another whole few hours or so, ah reckn’.”

“Awwwwwwwwwww,” moaned Pinkie, slouching in front of her screen. “It’s no fun if there’s nopony to play with!”

Darting her eyes about the room, it almost seemed as if Pinkie was somehow scanning each and everypony present, causing some to flinch and some to quiver before her somewhat unsettling gaze.

“Ah-ha!” whooped Pinkie, pointing her hoof right at a certain utterly bored, rainbow-maned pegasus. “Why don’t you give it a try, Dashie?”

Drifting lazily through the air, rainbow-tinged mane draped over her shut eyelids, Rainbow Dash almost collided into a nearby bookshelf as Pinkie’s shrill cry rudely roused her from a well-enjoyed slumber.

“Ohhhh no,” came Rainbow Dash’s vehement protests, “I remember what happened the last time I tried one of those things; you can’t fool this pegasus twice!”

“C’mon Dashie,” begged Pinkie, bounding up and down in circles around the cyan pegasus, pleading with her over and over to take her spot. “Please please please please please please please please pleeeeeeeeeeeeease.”

“Nuh-uh, no way! I’m not getting my flank trounced again by some unstoppable ‘AI’! I ain’t coming within even ten feet of that game!”

“... Actually, sugarcube, why don’t you and ah take a shot at it togetha, then?” Applejack suddenly suggested out of nowhere, and Rainbow Dash looked over to see a rather intrigued expression on the orange mare’s face. The apple farmer was regarding the PC with a curious look, as though itching to give it a try herself. “It’d be just like Gears of War! Ah didn’t even get a chance to play the last Command & Conquer, no thanks to Pinkie.”

“That’s... not that bad an idea, actually!” Rainbow Dash muttered after a moment, her eyebrow raised as her lips quirked upwards in a little smile. As catastrophic as their first few attempts at Gears of War had been, once they had learned the ropes of the game, (and gotten over its considerable gore factor) it had been immense fun playing it together with her athletic rival.

Perhaps this time, that fun factor would make up for the fact that she’d probably get her flank kicked so spectacularly she wouldn’t be able to show her face in public for a few days.

“All right, Applejack,” The cyan pegasus said with a grin that plainly said ‘Challenge Accepted’. “You’re on!”

“YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!” shrieked Pinkie, doing cartwheels all over the library’s ceiling, confetti trailing in her wake.

“How in Equestria is she...” questioned Rarity, right eyebrow arched in disbelief as Pinkie continued defying all conventional laws of time and space.

“Don’t try, Rarity,” Applejack muttered as she sidled into the chair formerly occupied by Twilight Sparkle, already running through the steps of setting up the next match - because frankly, it was all very idiot-proof. “Remember what happened the last time Twilight tried to figure it out?”

“Oh, right...” she muttered, pushing all conventional understanding of ‘Pinkie Physics’ out of her mind with a simple wave of her hoof. “I’d... not want that, thank you very much.”

“Hey, Applejack,” yelled Rainbow Dash from over across her monitor, “you finished stallin’ yet?!”

“Hold yer horses, Rainbow,” came the orange mare’s ever-calm reply, “why dont’cha spend some of yer time thinkin’ before you go chargin’ in like ya always do.”

“Hey!” protested the tomboyish pegasus, blood flushing her normally overconfident features a deep red, “I read the manual... sometimes.”

 “A few times too few, if ya ask me.” Applejack snickered as she browsed through the available selection of Generals, trying to make her pick. Twilight’s match with Pinkie had already shown her what not to pick; Applejack was a pony who very much preferred getting her hooves down in the dirt, right in the thick of things.

The Nuke and Superweapon Generals, Blinding Light and Solar Fury, however, seemed to be the types who were content to sit back and, as the expression went, ‘turtle up’, attacking their enemies from afar.

To the apple farmer, though, such a strategy simply screamed boring. Instead, she scrolled right through the menu, searching through for something that called out to her... and found it right where she least expected it.

“Lunar Republic Tank General, huh?” Applejack said to herself in a thoughtful murmur under her breath. Right in front of her, the screen showed her the image of a male stallion, his powerful frame and straight, angular jaw only accentuated by the rigid square of his freshly pressed uniform.

Whoever he was, General Iron Hoof sure looked like one mean, tough buzzard who could take a hay of a beating.

From what she’d read in the manual, those large, unwieldy contraptions were actually the mainstay of the ground forces. Strong, tough, reliable, and designed for getting right into the thick of things... the more the farmpony thought about it, the more she realized General Iron Hoof was exactly just the kind of General that suited her playstyle.

There wasn’t a shred of hesitation behind her movements as she immediately confirmed her selection, and hit the ‘Ready’ button,  twisting her hooves about the wrist and cracking them.

Whichever faction or General Rainbow Dash had picked against her, Applejack was determined to give her rival the best fight she would ever get.

“May the best pony win, Rainbow Dash!” The farmpony declared as she raised a hoof outwards, and just as she expected, her rival met it solidly with her own in a hoofbump, setting the match in motion.

Just as it did before with Twilight and Pinkie, the screen went black the moment she hit “Ready”, materializing into a sprawling desert plain that covered the entire screen.

“Alright,” muttered Applejack, squinting her eyes as she focused on her lone Command Center, “Lessee how this here thing works.”

Quickly selecting her dozer, Applejack invested a sizable portion of bits in a complex chain of supply lines much like the system of harvesting the Apple family used for Sweet Apple Acres, her trucks making a beeline straight for the surrounding supply depots as her already massive bit counter continued to spike like a parasprite outbreak.

“Now let’s see here,” drawled the orange earth pony, stretching out each of her words as she carefully directed her mouse button to the icon entitled ‘War Factory.’

“Hoo boy,” came Applejack’s charactertistic southern cheer, “This here baby’s just what ah need tah get this here ball rollin’!”

Within moments, the orange pony had thrown up not just one, but two Lunar Republic War Factories, side by side, and Battlemaster Tanks were rolling out at a pace that would have made the Parasprite outbreak of Ponyville look like a minor incursion.

‘With an army this size, ain’t no way ah’m gonna lose ta Rainbow Dash!’ Applejack thought to herself, hooves nearly twitching in anticipation as she steadily churned out tank after tank, eventually progressing to an utterly monstrous contraption called the ‘Emperor Overlord,’ a massive treaded beast that looked like it could simply crush other lesser tanks right beneath its sheer weight, so massive was it that it required no less than six fully-armored stallions to pilot the entire machine.

By the time five minutes had elapsed, Applejack had amassed a considerable army of a whopping thirty-four Battlemasters, with ten Emperor Overlords broadcasting waves of propaganda all over her entire army, reinforcing the rear guard. Looking over the contingent her War Factories had assembled, the humble farmpony could feel just the slightest twinge of pride stirring in her chest as she sent them rolling out in a massive, treaded storm of metal.

Peering over her monitor, Applejack could see sweat pouring off her winged friend’s brow as the rainbow-maned pegasus seemed utterly focused on a certain... something. Normally, Rainbow Dash wouldn’t sit still even if her life depended upon it, but whatever it was, if it could anchor Rainbow Dash to her seat for little over ten seconds, it was definitely worth worrying about.

The question, then, was this: just what had the cyan pegasus’ attention captured so thoroughly?

The answer came within seconds - just as the last of Applejack’s tanks cleared the entrance to her base, out of nowhere came a sudden storm of flying chariots that streaked on-screen, raining fireballs upon her armor - fireballs that homed in on her tanks, and demolished them utterly, reducing them to flaming scrap.

“What in tarnation-!?” Applejack’s eyes widened in shock as she realized that no less than a quarter of her Battlemasters had been wiped out, and she had lost three of her Emperor Overlords within that single salvo from the flying chariots. Just what trick did Rainbow Dash have up her sleeve!?

“HA! Suck on that, Iron Hoof! General Ace Wing’s King Raptor Chariots rule the skies!” The cyan pegasus suddenly whooped from the other side of Applejack’s computer, punching a hoof into the air... right as yet another wave of King Raptors flew over Applejack’s tank formation, sending scores more of her Battlemaster Tanks and another Emperor Overlord to the scrap heap in flaming balls of warped steel.

“Oh, hay naw ya don’t, Rainbow Dash!” The farmpony snarled defiantly, and she immediately selected all her remaining Emperor Overlords - all remaining six of them - and hit the button that would hopefully be her one remaining hope against Dash’s horrific air power.

“Gatling Cannon is ready.” A slow, baritone voice rumbled mere seconds later as twin rotating barrels suddenly appeared atop each of her Overlords, just as they began to cluster together - and none too soon.

From the pitch black areas of her map came yet one more wave of King Raptors, but if Rainbow Dash had been expecting an easy kill, her flying chariots got anything but.

The Gatling Cannons that had oh-so-suddenly been installed on Applejack’s Emperor Overlord immediately turned in the direction of the incoming aircraft, bringing their massive multi-barreled housings to bear as they began to spin ominously...

… right as they unleashed a blistering barrage of bullets that ripped through the air like a wall of shredders.

Rainbow Dash’s King Raptors never had a prayer. Tougher and stronger than regular Raptors as they were, they were still no match for the combined might of six Gatling Cannons ripping into them all at once. The six Gatling Cannons opened fire simultaneously, and the cyan pegasus’s airborne chariots flew right into the meat grinder, whereupon they were instantly blown out of the sky, crashing unceremoniously to the ground below them.

“Hah! Now how do ya like them apples, eh Rainbow?” Applejack crowed triumphantly as she directed what was left of her tank column, wounded but undefeated, to continue its advance towards where she knew Rainbow Dash’s base lay. She still had six Emperor Overlords and about ten Battlemasters left - perhaps she could still turn this around!

“Awww, c’mon! I spent Celestia knows how many thousands of bits on those things!” Complained Rainbow Dash as she watched what was left of her King Raptors make their spectacular crash landings, but if anything, the pegasus seemed to regard it as more of an annoyance than a devastating loss.

And it was that lack of consternation that began to get Applejack very, very scared for her tanks, and what it boded for her forces.

“Oh well... let’s see how you like these, Applejack!”

“How ah like wha...?” Applejack’s look of confusion began to morph into horror as she realized that four of her Battlemasters had suddenly, mysteriously burst into flame... and then she saw the distinctive triangular, jet-black outlines of four Solar Empire Stealth Fighter Chariots retreating from her tank column, their jet-trails already far out of range of even her Overlords’ Gatling Cannons.

“Oh fah Celestia’s sake, ya’ve gotta be kiddin’ me!” Realizing now that her tanks were on a race against the clock, for Rainbow Dash’s aircraft still needed to repair and rearm themselves at an airfield before they could streak right back out to assault her forces once again, Applejack ordered her tanks to double forward, pushing them as fast as she could. If she could catch Dash’s fighters while they were still in the midst of rearmament, she might still stand a chance!

“Let’s see how ya like it when I take the fight ta you, Rainbow!”

Rolling forth into Rainbow Dash’s base, Applejack’s tanks met little in the way of resistance save for a few Solar Empire Rangers, easily crushed underhoof by Applejack’s monstrous tank column as they bore down on a lone, hapless airfield, seemingly unoccupied.

“This here is Rainbow’s base?” mumbled Applejack, raising a hoof to her temple in curiosity, “...looks a mite lonesome to me, maybe she’s gone an’ spent all of them bits again.”

“Ah well, ain’t no skin off mah flank!” declared the earth pony as she ordered each and every one of her mighty tank force to obliterate the airfield off the face of Equestria, massive cannons erupting with gouts of flame as they hurled shell after shell at Rainbow Dash’s hapless structure, metal twisting and burning as it fell apart under an unrelenting onslaught of steel and fire.

“How’d ya like them apples, Rainbow!” smirked Applejack, almost confident that if the rest of Dash’s base was like this, she’d have that oh-so-overconfident pegasus strung up by the wings in no time.

“Not as much as you’ll like these!”

Fading into existence with the symphony of a sweeping desert wind, a cloud of menacing, pitch-black contraptions, each piloted by a single, uniformed pegasus, took up positions around Applejack’s invading force, giant metallic rotors whipping as they hovered, stock still, before the shellshocked earth pony.

“Sweet Celestia... !”

A pair of frantic clicks of the mouse sent Applejack’s tanks into a retreat, splitting formation and bolting in every direction as rocket after rocket rained from the sky in a deluge of explosive power. Even as the Overlords turned their Gatling Cannons on the Comanches, they were just too many. For every Comanche Applejack’s Overlords blew out of the sky, there seemed to be two more to take its place.

Fireball after fireball erupted from the hapless Overlords as their bulk took the worst of the barrage, metal twisting and contorting as explosions tore along their sides, reducing the once-mighty Overlords to heaping piles of flaming slag.

“This ain’t over yet, Rainbow!” bellowed Applejack in defiance, “I’ve still got me a base, and we’re gonna-”

Her sentence woefully cut short by the deafening roar of chariots soaring overhead, Applejack’s show of defiance withered before the utterly dominating figure of an enormous metal superchariot pulled by no less than twenty pegasi circling her base.

Creaking ominously, three truly massive sidecannons emerged from the superchariot’s starboard, slowly beginning to level themselves to hammer away at Applejack’s fragile structures with massive, thunderous spheres of explosive magical energy, monolithic explosions and massive plumes of consuming flame engulfing Applejack’s hapless war factories in a spectacular show of aerial punishment.

The apple farmer slumped in her seat, staring blankly ahead as her factories were pounded into dust, unable to form any words. Whatever hope she had at restoring her tank columns crumbled as her war factories were literally pounded into the dust, their metal frames and masonry breaking out in flames and fragmented rubble before exploding entirely, vanishing without a trace.

“What in Equestria...” Shaking her head vigorously, Applejack tightly refocused herself, trying to get her head back in the game. Okay, her War Factories were down, but she still had a considerable amount of bits in her reserves! All she had to do was throw them up again, and within no time she’d have another battalion of tanks ready to go!

This time she’d be ready for Rainbow Dash - this time, she wasn’t going to lose!

Throwing her dozers to work as quickly as she could, her two demolished War Factories were soon replaced by four pristine, freshly constructed ones, but the efficiency and speed she demanded her new force to be assembled with came at a cost, putting a sizable dent in her bit reserves.

“Twenty thousand... fifteen thousand... ten thousand...” Applejack muttered to herself as she tried to keep track of just how much she had left in her coffers, even as she queued up rows after rows of Battlemaster tanks and Emperor Overlords to replace the ones Rainbow Dash had massacred with her Stealth Comanches.

It was with a frustrated groan that she realized her bit counter was falling a lot faster than it was rising - with her supply depots running low, she wouldn’t be able to keep up a sustained fight. Once her tank force was assembled, it would be now or never.

One shot with everything she had, and that would decide the match. If that wasn’t enough to defeat Rainbow Dash, nothing she could muster would be able to do anything.

“Well, at least Dash’s not gonna pull the same trick on me twice!”

Rainbow Dash, however, had other things in mind. With a once-in-a-lifetime timing, the deathly calm in the skies shattered into a violent cacophony of soaring metal as four blindingly fast chariots, each tinted the finest silver, made a beeline straight for Applejack’s war factories, a typhoon of dust trailing in their wake as their speed easily took them beyond the sound barrier.

“Feel the wrath of my Auroras!” Rainbow Dash’s voice suddenly came from the other side of the table, and Applejack felt the small feeling of dread in her stomach open up into a wide, yawning pit.

Once the silver-tinted chariots reached their quarry, massive hatches located underside began to creak open as they released their payload - a single, sleek missile each that streaked soundlessly towards her War Factories... right before they detonated in massive, earthshaking explosions.

Two of her War Factories immediately crumbled, while the other two burst into flames, dangerously close to being destroyed, but still standing. The four silver chariots, mysteriously slowing down abruptly, were immediately cut down by the Gatling Cannons Applejack had mounted atop her Overlords, but the damage had been done - her projected tank force strength had been cut in half.

“Consarnit, Rainbow!” yelled Applejack over her monitor, shaking an angry hoof at the cyan pegasus. “Enough foolin’ around, ya hear!”

“Oh I hear you,” came Rainbow Dash’s somewhat unnerving reply, one that made Applejack actually reconsider goading the rainbow-maned pegasus forward. “I hear you loud and clear, Applejack.”

It was a move she dearly regretted. The very moment Rainbow Dash’s reply had left her lips, out nowhere came an utter monster of a superchariot, one that put even the first one to shame. The first one that had pounded her first two War Factories into dust had been pulled along by twenty pegasi - this one was being tugged along by the combined efforts of thirty-six.

“Sweet mother’a mercy... what is that monster?”

Her answer came a few seconds later - even as her Overlords turned their Gatling Cannons upon it and ripped into the Superchariot with everything they had, the bullets merely glanced off the sleek, stainless black armor of the massive Superchariot, the metallic beast’s armor barely showing any signs of battle damage as it soared overhead, ominous obsidian armor blotting out the light of Celestia’s sun.

Unlike the spectre gunchariot’s three sidemounted cannons, this particular Superchariot simply disengaged a simple underside hatch, metal creaking as it made way for what could only be a truly massive payload.

Like fire from the sky, Rainbow Dash’s superchariot unleashed an unforgiving tempest of roiling spheres of crackling magical energy, tinged blinding cyan-white as they hammered the earth beneath them, carpeting the ground and reducing whatever Overlords Applejack had left to smouldering pieces of iron, charred and useless scrap.

“And that’s why they call it a carpet bomb!” Rainbow Dash whooped triumphantly from the other side of the table as her hoof punched into the air again. “Carpeting enemy bases with fiery goodness!”

“Oh, Celestia above, ah can’t watch this...” Applejack simply gave up the ghost, throwing her hooves into the air futilely as her forehead thunked on the desk in front of her. It seemed that for every move she made, Rainbow Dash had the perfect counter for it - she just couldn’t outmaneuver or outsmart her!

“Awww c’mon, Applejack,” Goaded Rainbow Dash, trying her best to suppress her laughter, eyes watering with effort. “I haven’t shown you the icing on the cupcake yet!”

“Icing on the what now?” Was all Applejack could mutter. In her eyes, she had long given up the ghost.

Weakly raising her head to face the screen, she saw yet another one of those monster superchariots pass right over her base, releasing just a single, pulsing sphere of magical energy that dwarfed every other with impunity, a size befitting the Mother Of All Bombs.

The farmpony could only watch with mild disinterest as the sphere detonated in a massive conflagration of magical fire, almost instantly reducing more than half her buildings to burning rubble, the scarlet cloud of heat and flame rising into the air like an imposing colossus of destruction.

When the smoke and fire cleared, all that remained standing was Applejack’s Command Centre, beaten and blackened but still intact. With only half of its life bar left, Applejack figured she could still at least try to put up a bit more of a fight - she had just a thousand bits left, just enough for another dozer.

But just as she clicked on her Command Centre, about to queue up her last dozer for production, Rainbow Dash came down with the curtain call, a joyous whoop that could come only with the appearance of a certain group of pegasi...

“Now for the grand finale!” The aspiring Wonderbolt raised her hoof high in the air before making a swooping gesture towards her mouse, bringing both her hooves down on a single button. “Triple A-10 Wonderbolt Strike!!!”

What!?” Applejack exclaimed disbelievingly, turning to stare at her screen with an incredulous look on her face...

… Just in time to watch the three distinctive, jumpsuit-clad shapes streak onto the screen, their trademark ultramarine-blue jumpsuits easily recognizable by pegasus or earth pony alike.

...Except that this time they weren’t wearing just their jumpsuits.

In place of their calling card, the three pegasi instead donned armored exoskeletons, metallic frames simply just bristling with gun barrels and missiles, blazing with fire as they lay waste into her Command Centre with everything they had, passing overhead in a strafing run that left her last remaining structure a smoking ruin, crumbling to the ground in defeat.

“I... WON!” screamed Rainbow Dash, punching both her hooves in the air before doing a double barrel roll over her monitor, squealing in delight. “I WON...WITH THE WONDERBOLTS!”

Applejack, on the other hand, looked as though somepony had just clocked her sideways with a sledgehammer to her brain; unable to even stammer out words as her mouth hung open wide.

Her eyes, now the size of saucer plates, could only stare at the blackened ruins of her base, a charred, crumbling monument of the lunar republic’s emblem superimposed itself over her screen, a tragic reminder of her defeat at the hands of her cyan rival.

“Now now, Applejack,” came Rainbow’s Dash’s victorious gloat, wings flapping nonchalantly as she bobbed overhead, reclining on thin air. “You can’t win ‘em all, right?”

Before Applejack could even raise a hoof in protest, the rainbow-maned pegasus simply let out another one of her trademark laughs as she flew out of reach, wings flapping lazily as she pumped her hooves in the air, muttering some manner of victory song.

“Why that no good gloatin’-” muttered Applejack as she grit her teeth in annoyance, folding her hooves together in exasperation. “She just got lucky, that’s all.”

Surveying the scene before her, Rarity couldn’t help but permit a sly gin slowly work its way across her lips, her eyebrows raised in gleeful thought as her brain’s cogs slowly cranked out an idea.

“Oh Applejack,” beckoned the marshmallow-white unicorn, her voice almost sing-song in pitch, “why don’t you let somepony else play around with Rainbow Dash for a while, hmmm?”

“Oh c’mon, Rarity,” yelled Applejack, frustration evident in her voice. “Twilight’s over there with her fancy-shmancy mathematics books, Pinkie’s already had her turn, Dash over there’d never play ‘gainst you after that last time with Tiberium Wars and Fluttershy-”

Applejack paused, realization crashing into her mind like an out-of-control sledgehammer. Soon,  her eyes narrowed to slits; her mouth curled upwards in a slow, almost creeping smile that would’ve done Equestria’s most dastardly villains proud.

“Oh Fluttershy, “ called Applejack in the best falsetto she could muster, “Ah think it’s time ya gave it a try, sugarcube.”

Squeaking in surprise, Fluttershy tried darting behind the nearest chair to hide herself from Applejack’s gaze, shying as far away as possible from the game as she could.

“C’mon, Fluttershy,” soothed Applejack as she trotted over to the timid yellow pegasus, dragging the trembling filly out from behind her furniture shield and over to the PC. “It’s just Rainbow Dash! Ain’t like she’s gonna grow sum huge set’a fangs and eat you all right up, is she?”

Unfortunately to Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash looked exactly like that. The cyan pegasus was eyeing her with an anticipatory grin that bordered on predatory - or at least that was how it looked like to Fluttershy - and her wings had visibly flared outwards in excitement.

“Yeah, Applejack’s right, Fluttershy!” Rainbow Dash drawled in an utterly unconvincing attempt to placate her timid pegasus friend, obviously still smug over her victory over her rival. “You know I’d never do anything to hurt you! C’mon, give it a try! Let’s get the match started!”

Fluttershy had the expression of a condemned mare, but the gentle pegasus swallowed audibly before letting out the tiniest of whispers, visibly steeling herself.

“I... I guess I could give it a try...” Rainbow Dash barely even heard her friend’s agreement, but when she did, the cyan speedster’s joy was nearly palpable as she punched a hoof in the air, almost flipping around in place as she took to the air with an excited flap of her wings.

“Aww yeah!!!” The Wonderbolt aspirant whooped as she settled back into her chair, already selecting the Solar Empire’s Air Force General and locking in her choice. “Don’t worry, Fluttershy, I’ll make sure to keep this as painless as possible!”

The tiny little “Eeep!” coming from Fluttershy’s side of the table was all the acknowledgement she got, but Rainbow Dash ignored it, already utterly focused on her own screen as the match began, concentrating on throwing up her airfields as quickly as she could.

This was going to be a very interesting match indeed...


“Oh, come on, seriously! Where the hay is her base! I’ve already scoured every single darned inch of this Celestia-forsaken map!”

“Whassamatter, Rainbow?” chuckled Applejack, tears in the earth pony’s eyes as she tried to contain herself from rolling about the floor in a cacophony of laughter. “Havin’ a little trouble with those eyes a’ yers? Maybe that ELA Stealth General Prince Blind Eye is a little too much for ya!”

“Why you no-good, little...” came the disgruntled huff of the cyan pegasus as yet another flight of King Raptors returned for repairs, their once pristine armor now charred and flaming at the edges, pegasi straining to merely glide back to safety as yet another unseen onslaught threatened to rip them to shreds. “Just you wait! I’m gonna find Fluttershy’s base even if it takes me the entire day!”

Clicking furiously on her dozer, the hot-headed pegasus flicked her eyes over her building menu, trying to find something that would aid her in the battle against Fluttershy’s unseen army, her timid friend’s shyness even more of a pain that it usually was.

“Lemme see here... airfield... nah, already have eight of those... got me a strategy center, got me some of those neat ‘war factories’ and some...”

Scrolling over structure after structure, the pegasus filed away and discarded option after option as she furtively searched for something that could help her out... and just as she felt that she was nearing the end of her rope, her eye caught onto something that she had nearly missed just a second before.

“Hang on a sec... what’s this?” The rainbow-maned filly muttered to herself as she leaned in closer to the screen, her eyes narrowing as she squinted at the description... right before they widened in joy as she realized this was exactly what she needed!

“Ah geez, how the hay could I have been so stupid?” Rainbow Dash nearly smacked a hoof into her forehead in frustration, and then got to work throwing up her Detention Camp, the building on her construction menu that she had glazed her mouse cursor over no more than five times in a row in her haste to find a solution.

“All right, Fluttershy - prepare to get served!”

With a timid squeal, the yellow pegasus could only whimper in fright as she cowered behind her screen, hooves trembling as she awaited the coming of her feisty friend’s onslaught.

“Now... let’s see where you’re hiding!

Jamming her hooves down on her mouse buttons, Rainbow Dash’s Detention Camps cut a swathe through the all-consuming fog of war blanketing the map, penetrating even the shroud of Fluttershy’s stealth technologies to reveal the targets beneath.

“Gotcha now!”

Marshalling her massive airforce, Rainbow Dash’s King Raptor flights barreled off her runways and into the skies as the massive, gray-armored chariots blotted out the very sun, making a beeline straight for their quarry as they tore right through Fluttershy’s base with terrifying ease.

“Awwwwwww yeah!” whooped the cyan pegasus, doing a mid-air backflip as her confidence returned in full force, ready for another shot at Fluttershy’s base.

The poor pegasus’s buildings never had a prayer. Dash’s carpet bombs blasted through her fragile, makeshift structures with horrifying power as sphere after sphere of thunderous magical energy crashed into each one, tearing Fluttershy’s base to shreds as spectre and carpet bomb alike ravaged all that stood before them.

“Ohhhh yeah! The Rainbow cannot be stopped!” Rainbow Dash whooped as she did a double hoof-pump, ecstatic over her second consecutive victory at a game type that she completely sucked at. Quite frankly, to be doing so well at something period, the pegasus was already giddy with excitement and euphoria. “All right, who’s next!? I’m ready to take on anypony right now!”

“Are you sure, Rainbow Dash?” Came a silken voice from behind the pegasus that froze her hot-blooded confidence right in her very veins. Slowly craning her head around, the cyan pegasus came face to face with Rarity’s smug visage, the unicorn eyeing her with a smirk and a knowing look, almost begging her to take on the challenge of besting her at the game. “Would you care to, perhaps, try to settle a match with, oh, I don’t know... somepony of... higher caliber?”

Rainbow Dash had recalled enough of Rarity’s performance at Tiberium Wars that she knew just how terrifying the unicorn was at the game, compared to her own crude tactics of little more than brute aerial force. Next to Rarity’s own fast, crisp, and fluid ability to micromanage and command her forces, Rainbow Dash’s handling of her own troops seemed positively brutish and child-like in simplicity. Between the two ponies, there was just no doubt as to who was the better commander.

Any other day, the young, brash pegasus would have smartly turned down the challenge, knowing just when she was out of her depth. But after two consecutive victories, one over Applejack no less, Rainbow Dash’s confidence was riding on a high so great not even a denouncement from Celestia herself could have brought her down.

Be her opponent Rarity or not, she was going to win.

“You know what, Rarity,” Answered the cyan pegasus, a hint of excitement in her voice as the fire of confidence blazed in her chest, spurring her onwards. “You’ve got yourself a challenge!”

“Good show, Darling!” Applauded the refined unicorn, gingerly clapping her hooves together in a rather unnerving show of support. “What say we... add a little spice to this otherwise unbearably dull battle of wits now, hmmm?”

“Oh, I love fun things!” came the cyan pegasus’s quick response, which only caused the slight grin on Rarity’s lips to spread even wider, the unicorn’s eyes narrowing to dastardly slits that would’ve done Nightmare Moon proud. “What’cha propose we bet on, then?”

“Ohh, I wouldn’t force you into a wager without prices of equal value! What do you propose I do if I lose this match? Name your price, and I shall name mine!”

“Hmmm...” mumbled the rainbow-maned pegasus, scratching her brow in thought for all of ten seconds. “If I win... you’ve got to join Applejack for an entire season of Applebucking... without any of your fancy-shmancy magic.”

For even the tiniest of seconds, Rarity couldn’t help but find her air of regality shattering around her as the ever-composed unicorn took two steps back, right eye twitching uncontrollably as the very thought of getting down and dirty in the Sweet Apple Acres orchard chilled her to the bone.

And then she remembered just who she was, and just who she was fighting against, and her air of regality instantly restored itself, the white-coated unicorn standing tall and confident once more of her chances of victory.

“Very well then, Rainbow,” replied Rarity in her usual pseudo-manehattenite, “Then I hereby dictate that if victory falls into my hooves, you will help me model my next high fashion line for the Canterlot summer expo - all one hundred of those ‘frou-frou’ dresses you love oh-so-much.”

Even with her overconfidence, Rainbow Dash couldn’t help but take an involuntary step back as cold shivers ran throughout her entire body, remembering the last time Rarity used her as a living pincushion for just one of those dresses.

“Well... all right then!” Rainbow Dash nearly regretted the words the moment they spilled out of her mouth, for they came with an inexplicable sense of dread and foreboding, but there was no taking them back now. Steeling herself for what lay ahead, Rainbow Dash prepared herself for what would probably be the most intense Generals match of her life.

The players were committed, and the stage was set. There would be no backing out now.

“Let’s hit it!”

“Oh, we most certainly shall.”


There were very few times that Rainbow Dash felt like she was completely out of her depth with what she was doing.

One time had been when she first attended junior speedsters flight camp; running the Cloudsdale standard obstacle course was pretty much the second stupidest thing she’d ever done in her life - and she even had the sprained wingbone to show for it. The second time had been when she had her panic attack right before the Young Fliers Competition, when she began to doubt her ability to perform even her very own signature move, the Sonic Rainboom.

But even that - even the accident that had earned her the ever-famous moniker of ‘Rainbow Crash’, or even the depths of fear she had experienced during the Young Fliers’ Competition, could barely compare to what she was getting herself into now.

Gritting her teeth in defiance as sweat beaded on her forehead, Rainbow Dash quickly selected her second-last remaining flight of King Raptors from their airfield, and ordered them towards the column of tanks that were rolling towards her base, blasting away at the Patriots she had constructed at her perimeter and utterly disintegrating them with high-powered beams of magical energy.

“Come on... come on...” Panic literally dripped off Rainbow Dash’s voice as the pegasus muttered under her breath at breakneck speed, egging on her four King Raptors as they streaked off her Airfield’s runways, barrelling towards Rarity’s slow but massive column of ‘Laser Crusaders.’

Yet before they had even come close to unleashing their devastating payloads on the armour column, the smaller chariots at the flanks of Rarity’s forces suddenly turned their barrels in the direction of Rainbow Dash’s incoming Raptors, crimson beams of arcane fire lancing forward and piercing through the armor of her aerial chariots.

Two of her King Raptors were immediately reduced to scrap, but the remaining two managed to get close enough to release several of their missiles. Her heart soaring with hope, Rainbow Dash watched the screen intently with a hopeful grin, scarcely daring to even begin dreaming that she might have a chance at turning the attack around.

But not even the missiles stood a chance. From the smaller chariots, the ‘Avengers’ as the game called them, a pinpoint barrage of scarlet energy lanced forward, burning away the King Raptors’ missiles before they had even come close to reaching their targets.

By now, Rainbow Dash had lost several flights of King Raptors, Auroras, and Stealth Comanches to the sheer number of Avengers Rarity had constructed. Even her Stealth Fighters, normally untouchable by most means, stood little chance as the Avengers’ cutting lasers bisected the sleek black chariots from front to flank, each downed chariot costing the cyan pegasus bit after bit as she found herself hard-pressed to find the supplies needed just to keep her expensive air force running.

And now, five minutes into the match, Rarity already had her backed into a corner, her air force running on its last legs, her supply reserves exhausted and dry, and her base defenses crumbling.

“One last chance, Rainbow Dash.” Rarity’s voice came from the other side of the table in an almost sing-song manner. By Celestia, the cyan pegasus could have sworn, the fashionista was enjoying this! “Your aircraft can’t possibly win against General Pin Point’s laser technology. Yield the match to me now, and I’ll lighten the workload to just fifty dresses instead of the full hundred!”

Never!!!” Rainbow Dash snarled defiantly as she tried to queue up more King Raptors for production, only to realize that the production button had been greyed out - she was out of supplies. Growling, the pegasus selected her last remaining flight of King Raptors, and sent them out to their deaths in a final gesture of fighting spirit. “Fifty dresses is already fifty too many! I’ll never surrender!!!”

“Tut tut... Such a pity...” Rarity tutted, and then her Avengers advanced forward, their crimson beams burning Rainbow Dash’s final flight of King Raptors right out of the air, leaving their charred husks to tumble to the ground beneath. “Pride goeth before the fall, my dear Rainbow Dash. You really should have quit while you were ahead.”

“Oh yeah?!” Bellowed the cyan pegasus in defiance of her fate, “I’ve still got these babies!”

Soaring overhead, Rainbow Dash summoned forth her last resort as two of her massive obsidian superchariots soared overhead, bottom hatches disengaging with an ominous ‘thunk’ as they prepared to unleash the payloads that had sent both Applejack and Fluttershy’s bases packing with their tails between their proverbial legs, careening to the depths of defeat.

“My my my,” said Rarity, her voice laced with feigned surprise. “Whatever shall I do?”

Turning their barrels to the sky, Rarity’s Avengers unleashed a blazing storm of destructive energy, the sky ablaze with the tinge of crimson as beam after beam of cutting lasers bisected the obsidian beasts from wingtip to wingtip; the very armor that had once withstood even a literal hailstorm of gunfire burning to cinders as the superchariots crashed to the ground, useless.

“I... but I... what... how...?” Rainbow Dash struggled to make her mouth even work as Rarity’s tank column proceeded to lay waste to her base, demolishing her structures in short order as the last vestiges of resistance crumbled, leaving nothing standing, and the unicorn victorious.

“It’s simple, Rainbow Dash, darling,” Rarity’s satisfied voice came from the table as the white-coated unicorn walked around and set a hoof on Rainbow’s shoulder, leaning in to whisper dramatically in her ear. “‘May the best pony win’... And indeed, the best pony won. Besides, it wouldn’t have done for you to be walking around with an overinflated head thinking you were Celestia’s gift to Generals, you beat only Applejack and Fluttershy! Naturally, I had to step in before you began to get any other bright ideas.”

Whatever reply Rainbow Dash might have come up with was completely lost in the haze of shock and denial that clouded the pegasus’s mind. Turning away blankly from the screen, Rainbow Dash got off the chair numbly, her jaw still hanging agape at just how utterly she had been trounced by the fashionista.

“Uh, Rarity?” Applejack leaned in to whisper into her friend’s ear as Rainbow Dash slowly trotted over to the nearby couch, flopping lifelessly into the pillows as she gave the ceiling a blank, listless stare. “Ah think ya broke her.”


“Hold still, Rainbow Dash,” muttered Rarity, ribbon and pincushion in hand as the fashionista hemmed away at one of her latest creations. “Otherwise I miiiight just stick this needle someplace it isn’t supposed to go.”

 “Are we... ugh... done yet?!” moaned the cyan pegasus as she struggled to lift her wings, eager to free herself from the crushing grip of Rarity’s frilly corset.

“Done yet? Oh good heavens, no!” mocked Rarity in her best sing-song voice. “The Canterlot summer expo calls for no less than a collection of one hundred of my best designs!”

Gritting her teeth with all the self-control she could muster, Rainbow Dash strained with all her might as she squeezed the next few words out of her mouth.

“...Do I even want to ask which one this is, Rarity?”

“Oh, darling, you shouldn’t be so impatient! After all, you’ve barely finished prototype number ten!”

If there was ever a record for ‘Loudest scream in Ponyville,’ that day, Rainbow Dash would’ve set the Equestrian record, for life.

______________________________________________________________________________

“And if I deploy a sub-base to send infantry due southeast toward the...then that should...YES!” Twilight’s quill, worn down to the nub by this point, sketched out the final detail of her strategy with a grand flourish. The unicorn dropped the quill and turned back to the computers, a huge grin on her face. “Allright, Pinkie! I call a rematch, and THIS time I’m going to...to...”

Her smile faded as her eyes roved the room.

“Where is everypony?”