• Member Since 18th Jan, 2015

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When I was twelve, my Dad and I had 'the Talk.' "Dad," I began, "When a boy and a dictionary love each other very much..."

funnies 219 stories
Found 212 stories in 54ms

Total Words: 1,648,678
Estimated Reading: 4 days

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E

This story is a sequel to The One Who Got Away


A frustrated young orphan colt with a talent for painting is determined to run away from his dead-end rural village for the distant cultural haven of Baltimare. All he needs to do is slip aboard a raft and drift down the river Fen until he reaches his destination. It’s a simple plan, and would have worked just fine except for one thing.

Seaponies.

Editors: Tek, Docontra, Themaskedferret,

Image credit: Pen Mightier(pencil) and Manifest Harmony (colors)

Now Featured on Equestria Daily
And a wonderful review by Paul Asaran
Available in paperback at Lulu.com at cost

Chapters (20)
E
Source

Straight from the Canterlot archives, this collection of documents retells the rise and fall of Princess Twilight Sparkle, Enlightened Despot of Equestria, Defender of the Peace, Lawgiver, and Commander of Fort Libris.

Twilight Sparkle is, of course, known to historians as the first usurper to seek to schedule a coup d'etat by appointment. But for other details- such as, "What is the longest recorded time a pony has gone without sleep?", "Is it true what they say about swans?", and, "Why is there an owlbear in the Equestrian Witness Protection Program?"- these documents provide the answers and much, much more.

This is ABSOLUTELY SERIOUS HISTORY from primary sources. If anything makes you think this is silly, ludicrous, or unbelievable, blame Discord.

Written for FanOfMostEverything's Imposing Sovereigns writing contest.

EDIT 3-15-17: Wow, almost instant featured! Was NOT expecting that!

EDIT 4-8-2017: Featured in the Royal Canterlot Library! Thanks!

Part of the Remember Fort Libris print anthology, thanks to our Kickstarter supporters!

Chapters (2)
E

Princess Flurry Heart has found something at school that she wants more than anything else in the world. Something she will do anything to get. Something that an unsuspecting young colt has.

An extra cookie.

Done for FanOfMostEverything’s Imposing Sovereigns contest for Princess Flurry Heart: Schemer. Read them all. They’re great.

Editors: TheMaskedFerret, Tek, ChappedPenguinLips


(A tail as old as time. No, wait. That’s Celestia.)
Picture credits: Wiki
Cutie Mark courtesy of Taaffeite, a beautiful mix of barium manganese aluminum oxide, otherwise known as BeMg3Al8O16

Chapters (1)
E
Source

Twilight Sparkle's imagination as a child was unbelievable, probably due to all those books. Which also make up the amazing Fort Book, Twilightopia's first stronghold against the country of Armor! With the help of Captain Smartypants and Private Cadence, General Twilight defends her fort against her brother's advancing army of one!
A tale of Twi's childhood told from her point of view.

Inspired by the cover picture.

Chapters (1)
T

What happens when a pony doesn't actually like the cutie mark that they receive? Perhaps one more embarrassing than most?

Well, that's when Starlight Glimmer's special talents come into play.

UPDATE: labeled as complete. I really can't think of anything else to add to this story.

Chapters (4)
T

The 19th Equestrian Alicorn Council is now in session! The Council is the current ruling body of Equestria, on which sits every alicorn in the country.

There's just one problem. The council is currently comprised of 84% of Equestria's population.

Princess Sugarcoat, the official speaker of the council, investigates just exactly how this state of affairs began.

Turns out, it's all Cadance's fault.




Trigger warnings: Alicorns making fun of Twilight Sparkle and Cadance.

Rated Teen and Sex for a giant pile of sex-related idiocy.

Chapters (1)
E
Source

In the wake of Rarity’s ‘improvement’ spree, the Princesses have a discussion about their duties and what it means to be a princess… also they complain a lot… In fact they mostly just complain.

Chapters (1)
E

A filly Twilight Sparkle forgot to bring a book to read on the train, and now faces a horribly boring afternoon...

Or, she does until she notices another filly reading. Surely she can sneak a peek, right?

Chapters (1)
T

Twilight Sparkle suddenly finds herself caught up in a grand tradition for the immortal rulers of Equestria: holding their own funerals. What can possibly go wrong? The answer: a lot. A whole lot.

Sex tag is for only the mention of it happening. Nothing truly explicit happens.

A commission from someone who wishes to remain anonymous.

Chapters (1)
T

Rainbow Dash finally decides to tell her friends that she is gay.

This news comes as a surprise to absolutely no one.





Rated Teen and Sex for discussions of homosexuality. A lot of homosexuality.



Written for F*** THIS PROMPT #12: "Rainbow Dash is a Lesbian."

Chapters (1)