The Battle of Fort Book: Attack On Fort Book!
Private Cadence seemed not to hear the orders that Captain Smartypants had given her. Of course, this wasn't unusual, Private Cadence was a great soldier, but for some reason I had to translate all the orders the Captain gave her.
"Private!" I barked "Did you not hear Captain Smartypants's orders?"
Cadence giggled. I glared. A private was not supposed to giggle at her superiors, I'd read that in the book I read about military rankings. And a general, which is what I was, was the highest rank ever. A private was on the very bottom.
"No, General Twilight ma'am, I don't speak her language," Cadence replied. I glared until she remembered to salute, which is what your supposed to do to a general. She seemed confused by my glare for a few minutes until she remembered protocol and saluted.
"She saaaaaid to guard the East End of the Fort!" I ordered. I was very good at ordering. I was a general after all.
"Ma'am yes ma'am!" Private Cadence replied with a silly grin on her face, and saluted again.
"And no smiling! Captain Shining Armor will be attacking Fort Book any minute now and we must be prepared! Army people don't smile!"
"Ma'am yes ma'am!" Cadence said again, this time struggling to keep a straight face.
I don't know what she thought was so funny. Fort Book was the most stunning Fort in all of Twilightopia, the glorious land we were defending from the Evil Emperor Shining Armor. Who was also my big brother, but that's not that important.
Fort Book was big. It was at least one hundred feet tall and one hundred feet wide! It was made to look like it was made of books, but it was actually made of rocks so that evil invaders wouldn't get in. It had another rock wall protecting it, and a moat, because moats are cool. It was the most beautiful fort in the world, though right now it was raining so the fort wasn't as comfortable as it was when it wasn't raining. When it wasn't raining it was sunny and the sun made the rocks look like gemstones, they sparkled so much.
Now...about my big brother.
He was the Captain of a huge army and he was gonna come and take Fort Book and soon all of Twilightopia for himself! He was evil and greedy and it was my job to defend Fort Book against his forces. He was an army captain from the land of Armor which was right next to Twilightopia and was always trying to take part of our country for itself, which is apparently what countries who aren't friends, or allies as my books call them, try to do. He does it a lot, which is why Fort Book has to be the best possible fort ever, so he and his allies can't get in.
Captain Smartypants tapped me on the shoulder, snapping me out of thinking about my big brother. "General, I think that might be them heading over the hills right now!" my quiet captain told me. "In fact, I think it is them, and they're heading right for us! We have to be one hundred percent prepared!"
"Get your men to the West Wall to defend that side, I'm going to the East Wall!" I ordered Smartypants. She saluted and didn't laugh, which is why she is a captain, and Cadence is still a private.
"All soldiers to their battle stations!" I ordered, which I am very good at of course, "We have the enemy upon us!!!"
Captain Smartypants saluted again as she took her position and began ordering her men around. I went to where Private Cadence was standing and cleared my throat to get her attention.
"Captain Smartypants spotted Captain Armor, and we must be prepared! Load the cannons!!" I ordered her. She obeyed, though I thought I saw a smile, which of course were not allowed.
"No smiling!" I said. Cadence saluted and forced herself into a straight face.
"Sometimes I don't know how you got out of boot camp with all that smiling you do!" I said.
"Because I'm a good soldier anyway, ma'am," she replied.
"Then man your battle station and stop all the talking you silly nincompoop!" Nincompoop was one of my favorite insults.
Shining Armor came to our front gate.
"I'm here General Twili!" he said, challenging me. "Whatcha gonna do about it?"
"This!" I said and yelled "FIRE!!" to Cadence, who fired the cannonball at Shining's face, where it missed and landed with a whump. Another cannonball was fired, which hit members of his army in the face, and they slowly fell to the barrage of attacks from the amazing Fort Book!!
"Keep firing, Cadence! We have to hit Shining Armor! He's the leader!!"
"Right away General!" she said.
Cadence fired our last cannonball, which hit Shining Armor right in the face.
"We won! we defended Fort Book!" I said as my brother fell over.
"Oww, Twili!" my big brother, who wasn't really evil, he was really the best big brother in the whole wide world, said. "For a pillow, that hurt!"
I giggled. The real Fort Book was really just kind of a pile of books with a sheet over it and pillows surrounding it as a wall, but it was still the best Fort ever.
"Blame Cadence, she's the one that threw it!" I said and collapsed into giggles.
"I guess I can smile now, huh?" said Cadence, the best foalsitter ever. "I got you good there, Shining!"
Shining smiled that weird smile he always does around Cadence. I don't know why he does it, I think it's one of those "almost grown up" things that happens sometimes.
"Yeah, you did," he said, and smirked, then broke into hysterics like me, and then so did Cadence, and even though it was a rainy yucky day in Canterlot, it was a super fun day in our books. Even Smartypants giggled a little, and she's normally pretty quiet.